#tw: abuse addiction
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pls don’t flirt with me i want to be nonchalant so bad but i unfortunately crave connection so intensely that i will give you my entire soul and forgive you over and over until i’ve lost myself completely and feel like i’m drowning
#bpd safe#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#bpd#mentally exhausted#actually bpd#sadgirl#depressing shit#mental health#mental illness#mentally fucked#mentally unstable#disordered eating mention#actually mentally ill#sad thoughts#self h@rm#suic1de#bpd stuff#substance addiction#substance abuse#shitpost#addiction#bpd feels#borderline personality disorder#tw depressing thoughts#girls who do hard drugs#ed culture#eating disoder trigger warning#sadnees#actually borderline
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"Treatment" for addiction that requires you to lock up, confine, coerce, or otherwise strip addicts of their autonomy, it isn't treatment. It is a revenge fantasy that prioritizes your desire for subjugation over the actual betterment of addicts.
#politics#addiction#addiction tw#addiction mention tw#and like i understand the desire for revenge when you feel wronged. but addiction isn't one of those circumstances#i hold a deep hatred for my abuser but i was celebrating when they weren't being criminalized for their addiction#because if that had happened that would have destroyed so many lives in such a brutal and unnecessary way#and yes they held responsibility for their actions. but that doesn't mean you can go from 0 to 1000 because of it
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Blood warning!
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I see lots of fanfics that talk about the Grimwalker stories and myths as Grimwalkers being these predators that hunt witches and are these monster that feed off of flesh, but all of these are usually false and like I said just myths.
So what if that wasn’t the case? What if Grimwalkers were the flesh craving beasts everyone thinks they are. Aka me giving Hunter the Tokyo Ghoul treatment (kinda)
This image takes place during Thanks to Them, he’s hunting and consuming animals to sustain himself but they can only do so much. He keeps it a secret because he’s ashamed, scared and full of self loathing. Unfortunately you can only sneak out and wash your clothes so frequently until you get caught.
…
The craving flesh started around the time Hunter started hitting his second stage of puberty, so around 12 to 13 years old. It started off as spouts of aggression, weight loss and odd carvings that he suppressed until he eventually snapped and attacked a scout. Once he consumed flesh, there was no going back.
This happened with a few Grimwalkers, typically one made around pubescent years due to this being a natural development. Grimwalkers who are made as adults don’t get this since get miss that developmental period. A reason why Belos made Grimwalkers strictly adults for hundreds of years before trying out a new experiment.
When Belos made Hunter, he was aware of this and rather than kill Hunter off or just make an adult Grimwalker, he decided he can benefit from a “monster” needing a source of food.
Hence, Hunter picking up a reputation for being “feral.” Belos supplies Hunter with blood and flesh but not enough to satisfy him, just the minimum to keep him alive. This is to keep Hunter at a state where he’s willing to do more work to earn more food but unfortunately this just results in cases of Hunter going “too far” aka mauling different beings (witches, beasts, demons, ect) during missions on the accounts he’s literally starving and being triggered in fights.
He can eat normal food but his sense of taste is bit dull and doesn’t give him the nutrition he needs. He can eat and eat and it will do nothing. He learns to satisfy himself through eating animals he hunts during missions. When he gets to the human realm he eats his food with an overwhelming amount of seasoning just to taste it.
He also has a very strong jaw and sharp teeth, like hyena type stuff.
(Imagine a scenario he pauses a mission mid way to go hunt some voles and eat them raw and the scouts just standing there like-)
After Hollow mind Hunter struggles because now he’s has little source of witch or demon flesh (he raids the healing classes for blood and kitchen for uncooked meat)
So during thanks to them he’s forced to live with three witches, a basilisk, two humans who are somewhat similar to witches and oh boy he struggles. His friends are concerned. Camila notices Hunter eats a lot but still looks like he isn’t gaining weight, Gus notices that he sneaks out, Vee smells something wrong with him, Luz sees how on edge he is, Amity catches on to his burst of aggression (caused by hunger and stress) and Willow notices he avoids them.
They all already knows something is off with him (heightened senses, unusual teeth and jaw strength, glowing eyes, unusually tight and powerful muscles despite how gaunt he is) but only Luz knows he’s a grimwalker but hasn’t quite put the peices that’s he’s a unnatural, natural predator to witches and demons. The witches, Vee and even the humans feel a slight primal fear around Hunter but they can’t quite put the reason why, he puts them on edge even if they love him but something’s off.
Despite the fact that all of them are willing to give him blood, even some flesh if they could, the boy just refuses, since he sees himself as a literal monster that needs to be locked up.
This is me giving Hunter Grimwalker trauma x100. Anywho this is my late Halloween post aka my billionth AU idea. This was inspired by Tokyo Ghoul, Ginger snaps(2000) and the fic [redacted] Hunter by ApaMonkey on ao3! Yall should read it!
I have a weakness for flesh craving characters who aren’t villains but they aren’t so common so of course I had to project that love to my own skrunkly!
#featuring long haired Hunter!#I can’t stop making dark Aus they are an addiction#Hunter you gotta stop being so easy to traumatize#my art#toh#the owl house#hunter toh#hunter the owl house#hunter the golden guard#the owl house hunter#toh hunter#toh gus#toh belos#hunter noceda#emperor belos#gus porter#tw blood#cw blood#cw cannibalism#kinda?#cw abuse#tw abuse#idk what happens to the quality of the images#Ghoul au#Hunter ghoul au#ghoul hunter au
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substance abuse? i think youll find that i am quite nice to those substances, officer.
#bpd vent#venting#substance abuse#substance addiction#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#bpd#bpd problems#actually borderline#bpd safe#borderline personality disorder#borderline culture is#borderline blog#borderline problems#bpd splitting#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressing stuff#tw drugs#tw substance abuse
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tired of being angry and full of rage
#bpd tag#bpd fp#bpd vent#actually bpd#bpd feels#bpd thoughts#bpd mood#bpd problems#bpd stuff#bpd#bpd shit#trauma vent#childhood trauma#substance abuse disorder#addiction#tw drugs
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for ppl asking for the context of the 30sanji au :)
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if you shit on people for being drug addicts then just know that i hate you.
#actually aspd#actually npd#aspd#npd#clusterb#actually mentally ill#actuallyaspd#actuallynpd#cluster b#actually bpd#bpd#actually borderline#actually narcissistic#actually antisocial#actuallybpd#actually schizophrenic#tw drugs#addiction#drug abuse#substance abuse#substance use disorder#mental illness#help drug addicts don’t demonise them#substance addiction#addict#addicts need help not stigma#mental heath support#mental health#actually cluster b#cluster b personality disorder
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Jokes aside, I'm clean for almost a year (//ω//)
#jirai onna#jiraiblogging#landmine girl#jirai girl#landmine kei#landmine type#jiraiblr#jirai kei#landmineblogging#landmineblr#landmine boy#landmine fashion#landmine#wlw landmine#jirai lifestyle#jirai danshi#jirai joshi#jiraikei#jirai#pien culture#pien girl#pien kei#pienblr#landmine posting#tw drugs#drugblr#girls who do hard drugs#drugs cw#addiction#substance abuse
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its OKAY to not want to recover. its OKAY to enjoy having an addiction or illness. it is YOUR body and so it is ultimately about what you want.
whilst i personally wish i never got addicted to certain things, i now have no want to change it because having an actively fulfilled addiction makes me happy.
it's also okay to want to gain an addiction you don't bodily yet have! you aren't being insensitive to cis addicts. this is about YOU and YOUR body. nobody else.
#meow.txt#radq interact#pro radq#radq safe#radqueer#pro rq 🌈🍓#rq safe#rqc🌈🍓#rq 🌈🍓#rq community#paraphile safe#paraphiles please interact#transid#tw addiction#tw substance abuse
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6/9 - Jason Todd tarot card designs for Complete Candor by @vexfulfolly as part of the @batfam-big-bang
Read the fic here!
Other cards:
1-Babs 2-Cass 3-Bruce 4-Tim 5-Damian 6-Jason 7-Duke 8-Steph 9-Dick
Image IDs
Image 1:
A design of "The Devil" tarot card. It has the texture of recycled paper and reads "THE DEVIL". A symbol of a gravestone is visible behind the numeral "XV".
A young Jason Todd in his Robin uniform tugs at a thick chain around his neck that comes down from the top of the frame. Matching shackles are around his wrists and he is buried up to his waist in dirt. His head is tilted up towards the chain. There is blood on his hands, arms, chest, and dripping down the right side of his face as well as from his nose.
Image 2:
A design of "The Devil" tarot card. It has the texture of recycled paper and reads "THE DEVIL" upside-down. A symbol of a flame is visible behind the numeral "XV".
Jason Todd faces forward, filling most of the frame. He is in his Red Hood uniform and has narrowed pupil-less white eyes. He is holding the end of a thick chain in his right fist. Flames fill the background and bathe him in an orange light. The entire card is upside-down.
#fic rec: complete condor by vexfulfolly#batfam big bang#I did change these two at the LAST MOMENT as to which was upright and which was reversed#becasue visually it seemed better with robin jay as reversed and hood as upright#but thematically. much more the opposite#upright is about being trapped in a shitty situation and being unaware of or powerless to change it#generally in reference to addiction and abuse- both parts of Jason’s character esp pre-death#whereas reversed is closer to like… becoming aware of these and starting to fight against it#which is very much the entirety of jays character as red hood#so I did change them#i also take a little bit of twisted joy in the idea that it looks like jason is trapping himself#because in a way he is- he’s continuing the cycle and is still stuck in that warehouse and in a way he always will be#because he’s never given the chance to properly heal and recover by both the other characters and himself (and bad writing)#which again. very thematically on point with this card#sorry to anyone hoping/expecting for Jason to be Death but I think the Devil is crueller in a way too#dc comics#fanart#jason todd#robin#red hood#batfam#tma#the magnus archives#tarot cards#tarot art#my scribbles#cw blood#tw blood
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We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.
#polls#incognito polls#anonymous#tumblr polls#tumblr users#questions#polls about health#submitted june 19#chronic illness#chronically ill#tw drug abuse#tw drugs#tw addiction#addiction cw#drug abuse cw
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#bpd safe#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#bpd#mentally exhausted#actually bpd#sadgirl#depressing shit#mental health#mental illness#mentally fucked#mentally unstable#actually mentally ill#disordered eating mention#self h@rm#suic1de#bpd stuff#substance addiction#sad thoughts#substance abuse#anxienty#addiction#actually borderline#shitpost#trauma#eating disoder trigger warning#ed culture#bpd feels#tw depressing thoughts#tw drugs
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some thoughts ☺️
cw // drugs, addiction, yandere behavior, abuse (technically)
minors dni!!!
yanderes that would get you addicted to drugs so you would go back to them for that feeling… lemme explain this better
i remember reading a reddit post abt this guy who started using ?nicotine patches? and his gf ended up getting addicted to kissing him cuz she would get that nic buzz when she was with him…. imagine that but it was on purpose becuz then you would keep going back to them.
definitely: wanda maximoff, gojo, constantine, tony stark, ghost (COD)
maybe: deadpool, johnny cage, bruce wayne, sofia falcone, natasha romanoff
i can imagine some characters figuring it out by accident, but i can also imagine some characters doing it on purpose (tony stark, ghost) at a party, peer pressuring you to do lines or smth….
#minors dni#yandere#x reader#yandere x reader#gender neutral reader#yandere tony stark#yandere wanda maximoff#yandere gojo#yandere constantine#yandere ghost#tw drugs#tw addiction#tw abuse#turning my inbox back on so i could hear some thoughts🫡🫡#sofia falcone#my wife i love u#do u guys think i could pull the actress im so in love with her
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I want c0ke so bad
And then I wanna be fucked
#c0ke lines#c0caine#snorting cocaine#c0ke#c0k3#cocaiinedays#cocaina#coke lines#cokegirls#slamming coke#drvg add1ct#just drug addict tings✨#girls who do hard drugs#drug junkie#drug blog#girls on drugs#sex and drugs#dr0gs#drug abuse#drug addikt#drugblr#drvgs#tw drvgs#tw drugs#drugcore#gimme drugs#i love drugs#druggie#drugs mention#mine
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Stolas: A Gradual Descent to the Bottom of the Bottle
This post analyzes Stolas's situation with alcohol and discusses whether the show effectively represents this systemic issue, and what it implies about real life.
The take is certainly not unique, but I decided to post it anyway to spread awareness about how subtle, seemingly harmless, occasional drinking can seamlessly turn into a full-blown addiction over time.
TW: substance abuse, addiction, alcoholism
Is Stolas an alcoholic?
The answer seems obvious at first. You look at him—all posh, intelligent, and articulate—and you might think, "He doesn’t look like one." You won’t find him, Satan forbid, somewhere under a porch, or truly dependent on the bottle, like drinking during the day—or not absinthe, anyway.
Sure, he drinks sometimes, but it’s fine . . . right? Everyone drinks sometimes. Everyone deserves to feel a bit happier after something bad happens once.
Or twice.
Or thrice . . .
. . . Oh.
Not so obvious anymore, eh?
The real issue here is that the answer is kind of between 'yes' and 'no.' My TL;DR is that the show makes it pretty clear his drinking is becoming problematic, but it’s not quite there yet. And it will become alcoholism soon enough if nothing changes.
I think what we see happening to Stolas right now is an excellent, textbook example of how people end up there. So let’s get into his head, explore where he stands, and what it means for us and for him.
It starts easy
It doesn’t happen in one day. It's not like you get up early one especially glum morning and decide, "Hey, that's a good day to ruin my life!"
It's a vulnerability that makes you susceptible to drinking. Constant pressure. Anxiety. Depression. Trauma.
And you might find yourself wanting to do everything, anything, to get it out of your brain. Not think about it for one evening. Forget.
What a pathetic fucking man!
Her attacking you, whether physically, verbally, in public or private. You, having no one to turn to, having no way to mend it, having to keep up appearances for your kid.
We all have bad days. Bad situations. It’s not to say that one wild night is inevitably going to turn you into an alcoholic. But when you allow the bottle to be your crutch for life, when it becomes a habit to avoid uncomfortable, traumatic events, then . . .
Then it turns into a coping mechanism
You know, it’s . . . it’s simpler. It’s comfortable. Soothing.
You can’t kick her out of the house. You can’t make the man you love love you back. You can’t get a support network because she ostracized you from royal social circles and made a laughing stock out of you.
But you can forget. Forget that one excruciatingly humiliating night. Where not only was all your dirty laundry thrown out on the dance floor for everyone to see, but also, that said romantic interest made it clear it’s only about sex.
You used to have a smoking wife, a kid, you had it all! I hope you didn't give it up so you and him could get it up
Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you, okay? You make that really clear all the time.
Forget well enough to fall asleep drunk on the floor among the only living beings who didn't run from you yet. Maybe only just because they are in pots and don't have legs.
And it spirals out of control
Things get gradually worse. Your only lifeline—your . . . uh, romantic interest and daughter—fall out of reach. He finds every reason to avoid you. She hasn't visited you since that LA incident.
Your only power move with a divorce request turns into a lengthy, exhausting proceeding and leads to an assassination attempt. Your—what are you even anymore?—romantic interest pretty much ignores your distress call, or so you think.
You go with a showdown. You can't stand the ambiguity anymore. You want to know whether there's something behind your transactional thing. It's either 'yes' or 'no,' and . . .
It doesn't end too well.
Lastly, you go to a party to try to unwind (or at least be polite, because it's rude to ignore invitations). But your ex's (???) ex acts cruelly, and you don't feel comfortable there. And the wound is still fresh, bleeding . . .
Fuck it, the absinthe won't cut it. Beelzejuice it is then.
And here we are, back to our starting question
Stolas wears a functional alcoholism guise. Or dangerously close to it. Because that's what I believe is going on.
He is still a functional member of society, but he is shown not being capable of processing his trauma without the bottle in hand. And, as things get worse for him, we see the bottle or the glass or any other alcohol container more often on the screen.
For now, he's hanging on, but it's just a matter of a flip switch—the moment when every second of his life will start to feel unbearable without alcohol, simply because there are no other ways to cope.
It's worth noting, though, that Stolas isn't the only character depicted struggling with the urge to drink away his problems.
The most obvious example is Verosika, who is a severe case of alcoholism. We won't delve deep into her character since I want to focus on gradual decline rather than the end result, but we rarely see her without a bottle. There are a couple of scenes where she doesn't hold one, but these moments are situational. She's also been to rehab at least once and only got out because of her reputation.
But there is another character I'd like to dissect, because this will answer the lingering question, "Is there a way out?"
Blitzø, and why he didn't fall victim to this
We saw Blitzø drinking too, at the Bee’s party. To a rather disturbing degree, actually.
But why does no one say he has an alcohol problem, even though he did use alcohol as a coping mechanism?
Because Blitzø is an example of how the addiction might be prevented and what ultimately makes a difference, a turning point.
To start off, we first see him not in the bar. We see him at home with a pint of melting ice-cream. Dude sugar-bombed himself to sleep . . . after the already mentioned disastrous date with Stolas at Ozzie's, that is.
And then he gets a call from Loona, who asks to pick her up from the party. He has no plans to stay there whatsoever.
But what changed his mind? Pressure did.
He was pressured by both Loona and an old acquaintance to stop by. (I stress that no one is wrong for this, by the way—he still had the agency to turn the invitation down.) He reluctantly agreed to one drink . . . which we know how ended.
It's much harder to keep it to just one drink when you're sad and alcohol makes you feel better. Nobody wants to be sad.
But with all that said, Blitzø is extremely resilient. In contrast to Stolas—who is strong in his own way but slipping despite all the privilege, magic, and immortality that Blitzø thinks make him invincible—Blitzø never let that one drinking occasion become a habit.
Because he has a support network. However closed off he is, he has his business to take care of, Loona, and M&M. He has things he likes to do and he has people he cares about.
Stolas has all the money in the world, but no friends or activities he could look forward to. He doesn't seem happy with his royal life at all, referring to himself as an owl in a gilded cage.
So the difference is, essentially, this: Blitzø has alternatives and doesn't see alcohol as an outlet. There is a wonderful post from @warblogs17282 which has similar points I make, but also, it shows another angle of Blitzø's relationship with alcohol—his, unfortunately, long history with addiction in family. So that contributes, too.
Is Stolas a lost cause?
Gods, no. But it’s definitely a problem by this point.
Is he an active alcoholic? Maybe not yet. He isn't Verosika yet. But he is getting there, which I think is the point the show makes.
Alcohol might be a one-time patch on especially rough days, and you might wake up the next day strong and aware enough not to make a habit of it. But the problem is, Stolas already has a habit, and he doesn't have anything to replace it.
To solve it, he needs just that—a replacement for the bottle. Someone who cares. My hope is that one particular red lizard will share his pint of ice cream and his love. And maybe then, grim days won't be as grim anymore, even when the absinthe stays in the store, or wherever these royals get their alcohol.
Closing note. Why it’s important to talk about this in real life context
Warning: Extreme TMI
I had an alcoholic in the family, and this topic triggers me because, for him, it also started as "no biggie."
He was still functional for years, coming to work regularly. But he was slipping. He drank more, skipped work, and eventually became unbearable for his family—my family, even if not immediate. His wife requested a divorce. He got isolated. He drank even more. Eventually, he got fired because it's not appropriate for a director to skip work and reek of ethanol. The smell was so strong that people couldn't be in the same room with him. He tried other jobs. He aced interviews thanks to 30 years of experience and a solid background. But he got fired again because he couldn't live up to his legacy anymore. At the end, he descended into what you would call full-blown alcoholism.
So, you followed his story, and my question is: Did it start here, when he couldn't help it anymore? Or did it start a couple of years before that, when alcohol became too comfortable as an outlet for struggles?
I've had rough months too—with the war in Ukraine and everything happening with my family—when I realized it became comfortable for me to drink my problems away. Because it works. Because it’s pleasant not to deal with anything, to force your brain to shut up and be happy for one evening.
And it's terrifying to realize I had (thankfully, I don't have anymore for a long time by now) those patterns of thinking: "Jeez, I just want to drink and forget this happened."
Because I saw where it leads. And the farther you go, the harder it becomes to say 'no.'
So please, pay attention to the ones you care about. Pay attention to yourself.
#tw alchoholism#tw substance abuse#tw addiction#this has gotten really personal#but I hope I got the point accross#a random fact - this owl forced me to learn how to spell absinthe properly. I mean. Write it down without looking it up in Google XD#Gods Stolas of all drinks you've chosen the one with the batshit spelling#of course you have#forgive me making jokes about this#but I couldn't NOT mention it#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#helluva boss ozzie's#helluva boss queen bee#helluva boss the circus#helluva boss full moon#helluva boss apology tour#stolas#blitzø#stolas goetia#verosika#helluva boss meta#akira's whimpery metas#stolitz#stolas x blitz#blitz x stolas
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#loj.txt#actually bpd#bpd#bpd feels#bpd problems#bpd vent#bpd fp#bpd mood#bpd shit#bpd stuff#bpd tag#borderline personality disorder#bpd thoughts#tw grieving#tw disordered eating#tw abuse#tw drugs#trauma vent#trauma#substance abuse disorder#drug addiction#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressing stuff#childhood trauma#tw cocsa#cocsa survivor
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