#tw scary thoughts

[nightmareishomophobic]

Is this bad??

Tw for scary thoughts And violence (sorta)

I want people I hate to hurt me horribly in hopes that someone would notice. Idk why lol. Probably want attention or smthing

[nwarrior777]

very dark sad text about how i feel right now

if you wonder how i am doing mentally:

we talked with friends in chat and conversation came to talking about a way of moving away from countries by getting refugee status

and there is the thing that, as i heard, if you do that, there is a rule, that you can't visit country which you are running from (it's not 100℅ correct info, i just heard that this can be a thing, and it has exceptions, etc etc. pls don't panic if you are going to be a refugee, or are already, it's not from news or anything, if you are starting this path you already know about this aspect better than i, and if you aren't refugee, don't take is as 100% true info about refugee situations, again, i just heard it somewhere)

the thing is, my friends told me that it's a thing for people to think about for making decision on starting this path or not. and i was like.... really? someone is worring about it?

if i could have a chance i wouldn't think a second. like, idk, refugee center worker, or how it works, idk, would ask like: hey do you know that you will not be able to visit that countr-YES YES I KNOW I DONT WANT TO VISIT IT NEVER EVER IN MY LIFE I WILL NOT EVEN LOOK IN A SIDE OF A COMPASS IN DIRECTION OF THIS COUNTRY!! WHY DO YOU THINK I AM HERE IN THIS CENTER??? - would be my answer

and i started to think like... but it is important thing for people. and someone giving their ability to visit that first place as their sacrifice. and i thought. what sacrifice i could give?

i remembered my childhood intrusive thoughts. it was like that button memes with "you can press the button to [something] to hapen but [something else] also happen". but it was sad thoughts, not funny pictures. i imagined me choosing between something. visually in my head it was like tv show. i stand, and there's the question "here's your mam, cat, and dad. choose who to live and who will be killed". and i had to choose. i don't remember my choices only question

and today, after that chat with friends i imagined that weird "what if" choice like. what would i give for getting out of here? (and yes i would get out of here long time ago but i am not able to. it's kind of the heart of the problem)

and i thinked about it. and i understood that i feel. bad. i underestimated my depression

because i would agree to live in most broke flat. matrass in a room with 20 people? if not here - i am all in

i would give all my things. everything. leave me clothes which i am wearing, take everything else if you will take me away

and. it's a that. non-real abstract scenarios. "we will take you away, but you sleep in room with 20 people on the floor, what's you think?" - this is not how it's happen. i am just thinking about what i have and what i could give for getting away, if it worked like that.

so, all my things which i collected in 2 bags. bad living conditions. what i am ready to agree on else? what else i can to give in that strange abstract deal? what i even have?

i would give my leg. no hesitation

i was saying this to my friend in voice message, and it took me 5 seconds of thinking and to say that i would give 2 legs

if it was an option like "you can buy living not in your country by giving us your limbs" - have my legs, i would be first in line

i am an artist and. i thought a little longer. maybe 10 mins and come to thought that i would give my left arm too

i stopped thinking this thought somewhere here.

i am sorry if i sound offensive to disabled people, say me pls if it's something really bad to say. If you are disabled and this text offense you, tell me, i will delete this post. i am writing in emotions and not really like. eh. thinking about. just say if its bad pls

It's just thoughts about what i have and what i would give as sacrifice. And everything i have is my 2 bags. And my body. (and my art but freedom of art is one of the reasons why i wish to get away)

and i just thought about that if people think about not being able to visit country which they are running from as sacrifice, i started to think, do i consider even anything as sacrifice. and well, as you can see, that i absolutely have no problem with real things which are sacrifices to others in that situation, i would be fine i am sure, so i made up a abstract situation in my head to see how far i can go and.

that fact that i would agree to give my limbs for getting out of here. i think it's very sad. i didn't think i feel so bad being here

can you imagine thinking of place there you live like that. it's not okay for people suffer so much that giving a fucking leg is something they can say on, without doubt "if you will get me away take it TAKE IT"

it's so fucked up

p.s. the country is russia by the way

[arolegos]

piss on titans

[even-disco-baby]

ESPIRIT DE CORPS  — The lieutenant is aware that you adore him. Painfully so. You aren’t exactly subtle about it.

Oh god. I’m not? Oh fuck.

Good! I wasn’t trying to be *subtle* about it.

Hey. No need to get personal.

ESPIRIT DE CORPS — Sorry, boss. His thoughts, not mine.

In any case, he is aware. Your adoration is plain for all to see, even for such an island of a man as the lieutenant is. Or once was, perhaps. And his own feelings toward you are… difficult to describe, but they are there. 

EMPATHY — Strong feelings. 

ESPIRIT DE CORPS — He doesn’t know if they can be called love, but it is a thought that has occurred to him. In a broad sense, they surely are love of *some* kind, at the very least. You are his friend. He cares for you. And…

HALF LIGHT — And he is afraid of you.

EMPATHY — And he is afraid *for* you.

ESPIRIT DE CORPS — And he is afraid for himself.

YOU — Afraid? Why?

INLAND EMPIRE — You know why. Do not fool yourself. You, with the scaffold of you all awry. There is no part of you that offers him sure footing.

ENDURANCE — Even your body… One way or another, he knows that he’ll probably be the one to find you dead, and it could come any day.

I hope it’s soon.

I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else.

No! I don’t want to do that to him…

Wait a second! Who said anything about dying?! I’m turning over a new leaf! I want to live!

PAIN THRESHOLD — Oh, Harry… You still don’t understand, do you? You’re already dying. You’re a miracle, really. You know you nearly had a fatal heart attack just from stubbing your toe in the dark this morning? It’s no longer a matter of if, but when.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Hey, you’ve always known that you were gonna be here for a good time, not a long time! The lieutenant ought to take a page out of your book, instead of being such a miserable, lonely old man.

RHETORIC — No offense, but I don’t think that the partying has made you any less miserable, lonely, or old. 

KIM KITSURAGI — Your partner takes another long drag of his cigarette, letting the smoke fill his lungs. He holds it there for a moment, then slowly breathes it out into the night.

ESPIRIT DE CORPS — He accepted a long time ago that this ritual may very well be the death of him, too. It’s a risk that he has made far more calculated by his rigid discipline. He would find it difficult to live without these small indulgences, but nearly impossible if he granted them too much power over himself.

And so it is with *you.* He can indulge himself with questions, imaginings. What it would be like to lower his spines and be a softer kind of animal. But he cannot give these feelings any more power over him than this, or it will be the death of him.

YOU — …Am I really so bad that I would kill him?

ESPIRIT DE CORPS — No. Worse than that, you would *change* him. You or anyone. To entertain the notion of true love as anything more than a pleasant, unattainable dream would be the death of the man that he has built himself into over the decades. He would become something so much smaller and more vulnerable. An animal with a soft belly exposed to the world.

YOU — Is that really anything to be afraid of?

HALF LIGHT — It is the only thing that there is to be afraid of.

INLAND EMPIRE — He is right to be afraid. The world is nothing but a series of patterns, so easily disrupted and changed and lost forever. There is no sense in any of it, no grand reason that makes any of it worth the terror and the pain. The world will swallow you both and then be swallowed whole. Après le monde, le gris. Après le gris… rien. There is nothing that either of you could offer the other to change this. In the face of it, your small bodies and your fleeting thoughts become so unbearably absurd. 

VOLITION — No. It is bearable. 

YOU — It is?

VOLITION — It is the only thing that there is to bear.

[nothanksjohnny]

Im back on my insanity run and I said to myself

"Self?"

"Yeah what's up bbygirl"

" there should be more thoughts of bots being a bit scared of humans"

"That's a great idea"

Anyways here are my thoughts. I've read a lot of different kinds of opinions and site's and kinda just jumbled it all together. Cybertronains have their own diets and while energon is a large portion of it there is some verity. While they can eat and mildy digest human food it's not recommend due to gaining no nutrition due to it being carbon based and them not really needing it in the form earth's vegetation and species give. Of course this still means a curious bot or has tried a human meal. Although this isn't really what drives them off. No rather its how humans catch,prepare and vocally crave other living organisms. It's not a oddity to us to hear someone whine on how there "dying to eat some ribs!" Or are dying "for some grilled salmon and rice." It's something that can lead to conversion and finding common ground. This is not the same for a cybertrioan upon hearing this and learning just where these meats come from they will appear uneasy and in their own way sick. Their plating tight as their optics glance at you before recommending you to eat some fruit or any snacks they've come to have stored away for any of their earthly companions upon a ship or a base. This is just hearing this mind you. Now seeing someone eat is another. Eating something as simple as Jerky will get you stares and one of them going out to purge their tanks. This is just something that doesn't make alot of noise. As someone who eats the cartilage off of chicken bone I can imagine it causes them to rethink their options of how weak humans are. They can't help but clamp their plating and shift uncomfortably as they hear your molars grind at the cartilage and tear and snap as it's forces off the bone. Primus help them if you chew the bone slightly. It's almost as bad as when humans describe how much joy they gain from this " please stop talking how much you enjoy the ribcage from a cows carcas." " come on man I don't judge you when you drink blood." Their one "how to cook steak properly" from screaming on how you eating other living being. Vegans and vegetarians aren't safe either once they learn how plants feel pain in their own form. Did you know under black light a plants chlorophyll appear red? Yeah your getting a side eye as well its not as bad but they still don't want to see you eat around them. Now you may be asking " well if their so uncomfortable with the subject how do some of them eat our food then?" Some ways this can happen is that the bot may be unaware at first and never gave a true thought were those chicken wings come from. Another is maybe they don't care as much. Plenty of them have done dishonorable things what's wrong doing a small one.

Another factor that causes them to wonder just how "harmless" their human companions are is when we do rather primal acts. Have you ever wanted for spook someone or just not be seen? You stalk them to achieve this. Now while we don't do it like our canine or feline companions I belive we still do it in our own way. You tense and for some even hunch yourself over a bit in a attempt to make yourself smaller for a lesser chance of being seen. You take soft yet full steps as you ease your weight on each leg to not cause to much noise. Or maybe you lift your heels off the ground and step with the front of your foot taking strides as you crouch and keep your legs firm on the ground. You keep yours eyes focused and either hold or try and even out soft breaths. You hear every creak and shift until eventually you pounce a yelp cause a smile to curl on your face. Or maybe your trying to catch a fly carefully trying to almost play the insect that your just passing by before you trying to slam a object or your hand on it in hopes of killing it. It's makes any autobot or decepticon shiver as they see it happen. Or maybe they stumbled upon children playing hide and seek ( dont ask me how their big ahh selfs somehow manage to not be seen). They can't help but freeze as they see these smaller pathetic organics go still and listen shifting and holding their limbs tight yet isn't help the trembling causw by the thrill of the chase as they snap their head a certain direction and dig their feet into the ground to start running with a push. To see them giggle and smile aa they creep up on their friends and just like the fly pretend they don't know someone's there until they to pounce " got you!" Is squealed happily and yet all the poor bot can think is " I need off this fragging planet" They can't help but let their processor run wild as they one day notice you doing the same to them. Ratchet at the computer and the others are simply lounging around the base and there you are. Not even half their size but you eyes seem to snap to the poor medic and you grin. Soft steps and your eyes concentrated and they slightly dilate. A smile that shows the tips of your canines as your breath slowly shifts to larger silent intakes of air. The others take notice but they can't help but stare. You can't harm ratchet. You wield no weapon. So why?. Their optics trace you and it's so unusual. It's code for them to know how to deal with situations yet here you are. No training and yet your mind is already making all the hopefully successful changes to catch what your hunting. A primal itch that adores to take the front in now subtle ways in modern society. So they watch. Watch and slowly move their helms to following you as you making your move closer to the medic shifting through the noises of the conversations still playing out. Shifting out of view when the medic moves just slightly. And then when your just a few away from his peds you snap your teeth on the rabbits neck snapping it with the sound of " Hey ratchet whatcha doing?" As his yelp and huffs is intangled with laughter at his misfortune. Your canines presented by pulled back lips as teeth snap and cause a soft dull clank to fill a empty space as you smile at the medic that now has a scowl on his faceplate. Blue optics causing a whirrrr noise as they shift in a mimic as to how any creature on earths eyes do naturally. All as the the others shift and silently keep in mind to always glance behind them hoping they won't have misfortune to be your next rabbit.

[thereallycoolmonsterithoughtup]

marcille overcomes her internalized homophobia with the power of friendship

[noven-warsh]

thinking about how all of these scenes become 10x scarier when you swap the genders and consider how Denji's all alone with the people who SA him

[weemssapphic]

Rant about migraines / my health under the cut, I needed to get this out idk. ✌🏼 mild tw: suicide

A thing that I see so often (like seriously at least once a day) is the term migraine thrown around as a synonym for a strong headache - I see this in real life, I see it in fics. And don’t get me wrong, bad head pain is usually apart of that. But migraine is SO much more than just a bit of a stronger headache, and it genuinely hurts to have something that disables me every. single. fucking. day. of. my. life. be reduced to “teehee yeah she had a bit of a headache”. Like I’m super happy for everyone who has never experienced an actual migraine or who get them so infrequently that they aren’t a big deal but my life has changed so much in the past three years since my migraine has become chronic, and so have I as a person, and it fucking sucks. It sucks that I’m in pain DAILY. It sucks that I have a whole host of other issues with nausea, vertigo, etc. that I deal with daily. It sucks that every single pleasurable thing I could do or every little mistake I make in taking care of myself can end with me being in bed for days. It sucks that I have to worry about keeping my job, about letting down my partner and my friends, even about just being able to do something like go out or write some fic or do anything else that could bring me joy.

And it fucking sucks to see people throw around the word migraine and my diagnosis so flippantly as if the thing that sometimes has me wishing I were dead isn’t a big deal.

[djsherriff-responses]

Wasn’t it enough that Eden violated Dolph’s autonomy by making him a war machine? They just had to experiment with his reproductive system without even telling him?!

Is it obvious I got complicated feelings on mother/parent hood? Because I do lmao and I’m shoving my feelings on to the depressed cyborg

don’t read below if you don’t want to see titty suckling

[zelena777]

I still like drawing Sebastian as Hexxus with his oil form, but i realised he has cold or hot colors kinda acid, green or teal because he was a human, and then right now, he's the most beautiful sea creature since i saw him everywhere in Tumblr, right here. And perhaps i should draw more fanarts of the black oiled Sebastian Solace with Ferngully and Pressure crossover when I'll be free at home from Sovetsk, in the friday and one weekend.

[aylinaliens]

MY SCHOOL PRESIDENT (2022)

when they ask you how you are and you have to say you’re fine when you’re not really fine but you just can’t get into it because they would never understand—

[slaughterfreak]

very different media from what i usually post but mommy long legs redesign

[sunnibits]

I just asked my irl friends this too but I’m rlly curious to know so: can you guys give me any recommendations for new food to try for someone who is an extremely picky eater who’s trying to practice expanding their palette?? like maybe some really simple foods that would be a good place to start, or alternatively pls tell me what food you would recommend to someone who has never eaten food before lmao

[plutoandmoons]

I walk around the world like a ghost and sometimes I question whether I even exist, whether I've ever existed at all .

- Paul Auster

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

how do you even tell your doctor, "I think I'm going insane"?

[tgslar]

Redraw of a The Scary Jokes album cover! Please go support them here.