#tw abelism mention

[newby6320]

Based on my experiences, there are two main reasons for this.

The first is that "Autistic people don't have kids" is a very strong very pervasive implicit bias (at least in the US, I can't speak to other places). This bias is built on a stack of other biases and misconceptions about autistics (Autism only affects children, autistic adults can't care for themselves, autistic people can't fall in love, women aren't autistic, etc.) and is so incredibly powerful that when I've told people that I am both autistic and a parent, they pretty consistently are only ever able to retain one of those two facts. It's like both of those ideas are incapable of coexisting in people's brains. So for most people, the fact that Jack and Maddie have kids will automatically and unconsciously blind them to the idea that they could be autistic.

The second is an issue that I've seen both in and out of fiction and is particularly prevalent on Tumblr. That is the idea that someone can either be a "good" (perfect) parent and a good person OR a "bad" (imperfect) parent and a bad person, no one can be an "bad" parent AND a good person. The problem with the dicotomic world view is that disabled/neurodivergent people, inherently, cannot live up to the standards of "good" parent. Ignoring the fact that the standards for "good" parenting are a completely unrealistic internally inconsistent fantasy no real person abled or disabled could ever live up to. Being disabled means that there are some things you simply cannot do and some of those things will be things involved in parenting. So the belief that "bad" parent equals bad person requires the simultaneous belief that being disabled makes you a bad person (since being disabled makes you a "bad" parent) and implies the belief that disabled people shouldn't have children (since they wouldn't be able to be "good" parents and only a bad person would want a child to have "bad" parents). Most people who buy into the "bad" parent means bad person world view are actually vehemently opposed to the idea that being disabled means you're a bad person or that disabled people shouldn't have kids, so they are going to naturally shy away from anything that will make them realize that they have subconsciously absorbed those beliefs. Thus, when people look at Maddie and Jack and immediately recognize that they don't even come close to meeting the bar of "good" parent, they subconsciously close off the possibility that Jack and Maddie's "bad" parenting behaviors could be anything other than intentional malicious acts, because to do so would mean acknowledging their own ablist unconscious biases.

I keep coming back to the fact that almost no one writes Jack and Maddie as autistic. Nine times out of ten, if their obsession with ghost hunting has a cause, it's that it's a Big Scary Ghost Obsession. Never a special interest, always an Obsession or, even better, they just don't love their kids.

But both of them:

Are oblivious to many social cues and norms

Have very little volume control

Are well-known for infodumping compulsively

Are extremely trusting

And Jack specifically:

Mentions that most clothing makes him itchy

Prefers to express his feelings bluntly

Relies on scripts when struggling with social problems

While Maddie:

Has trouble reading people when she's not specifically trying

Is not a good at deception even when she tries

I'm not saying it's canon, I'm just saying that the restricted and intense nature of their interest doesn't have to be sinister in and of itself.

[stuffedanimalenthusiast]

I don’t understand why people get so up in arms when doll companies make dolls with disabilities like I’m sorry what about little kids finally finding a doll that looks like them upsets you so much what’s wrong with you genuinely

[argotalks]

What is your opinion of the movie 'Music'? The one by SIA

That movie disgusts me. I'm pretty sure I have autism, I have many traits (since I'm black it's almost impossible to get diagnosed, also diagnosis is expensive).

The character Music is a walking stereotype. She isn't even played by an autistic actor! I am in no way blaming the young person who played Music, she was clearly convinced by SIA, who plays a motherly role in her life. Children often find it difficult to say no to parents or parental figures.

The story claims to be about a young girl with autism, but the supposed to be main character is set to the side and the story focuses on a blossoming romance.

The movie also enforces the "magical black person" stereotype. Where the black person is only there to solve problems in oh so magical ways.

In a scene Music is pinned to the ground when having a meltdown. THAT'S DANGEROUS!! It could hurt the person and could cause trauma in the situation.

SIA also got all her research from Autism Speaks, which is a whole other story. I will make a post about Autism Speaks. SIA claimed to do so much research, yet didn't learn that Autism Speaks is harmful to the community? Yeah, okay.

I could go on but this post is long enough, I could make a part 2 if requested.

[doctorhoe]

going back to beating my old dead horse star trek into the ground. both snw and discovery have a weird affinity for killing off characters. I'm not gonna get into the fact that both airiam and hemmer were disabled characters (not today anyway). I'll only mention how neither of these deaths were earned in my opinion. while hemmer is a more egregious example with airiam it was obvious she was about to die because they only thought of actually giving her a backstory in the episode she was killed off. hemmer got essentially no character development despite being probably the most interesting character in this entire show and then he just.. died. I don't know which star trek writers need to hear this but character deaths don't automatically mean the story is going to be emotionally satisfying/cathartic. you gotta earn the "right" to kill off a character. they think they're killing off these characters like shakespeare killed off hamlet but its more like if shakespeare just killed off antonio at the end of twelfth night with no emotional build up whatsoever.

[x3n0ph4n3sh4d0w]

And yet you’re so happy to remove yourselves from the concept of right and wrong. You’ll happily be racist to black people, asain people, hell anyone nonwhite. You’ll happily be ableist to anyone schizophrenic, bipolar, OCD/POCD. You’ll happily tell survivors of abuse that they deserved their trauma and that it should happen again. But it’s all in the name of fighting those nasty proshitters, right? You people suck.

“you shouldn’t apply morality to shipping and fandom” you should apply morality to everything you idiot. you can’t remove yourself from the concepts of right and wrong at your own convenience

[goatlingsvent]

🎒how about don’t be fucking ableist

🛰️

[mosscaller]

Image description:

Text reads:

"Ableism looks like calling people ‘inspiring’ for navigating asystem that is designed for exclusion, while doing nothing to hold the system accountable."

- Carson Tueller

[gaymurdersalad]

David, why do you let him treat you like that?! He’s horrible!

>…

>… You— You all…

>… You all… Don’t know what the FUCK you’re talking about.

>What in your deluded, goddamned minds thinks ANY of this is okay to say to me— you superficial, you fake plastic bloodsuckers— I thought you cared about me! I thought you were fucking different, I thought you fucking liked me! I thought— Stupid fucking me, right? Thinking with my fuck-rotting brain like I have the goddamn right, yeah, serves me— I thought you would be nice to me!

>Nothing fucking nice lasts, does it? Henry tosses me out like garbage, like I fuckin’ meant nothing to him— and I bet I didn’t, I bet I shoulda blown my motherfuckin’ brains out for him, fuck, maybe then he’d actually like my sorry ass— Now you! You stupid lot, with your stupid fucking glasses and your self righteousness?! Comin’ into MY house and telling me who I should fuckin’ trust, meanwhile you hide behind those shitty shades and chastise ME for being a coward! Fuck you! Fuck the lot of you! Do me one favor— oh, if I may ask, given my obvious un-superiority!— and go fuck off to whatever world you came from and make whoever the hell is miserable enough to have you deal with this bullshit.

>Fuck, you all know I’m grown, right? You know I’m an adult who makes his own goddamn choices? Do you— no, of course you do! You think I’m some shit-for-brains autistic kid who can’t make a goddamn decision for himself, you think— think that Jack here is taking advantage of the slow kid, huh? You think I didn’t make this choice? You think if I actually knew he hated me, I wouldn’t fuck off and paint my brains all over the walls of whatever fucking alleyway I’d find myself in, boozin’ and bingin’, because really, what would be the fucking point of life anymore— no! No! I know what the fuck I’m doing! You think you know better than me?! You’re fucking pathetic! You are a goddamn disease on me!

>Get out— Get the FUCK out of our house, you goddamned pests, you blood-sucking leeches! Don’t you EVER show those fuckin’ mugs around here again, you hear me? Next time you ever dare LOOK at me or Jack, I will reach down into yer gullet and peel your supposed-organs out one by one, every rip and tear being slow and worth it. I’ll make you and all your shitty friends WATCH, GOD-DAMMIT!

>NOW GET THE FUCK OUT!

>…

>…

>… Leave the way you came in…

>… Askers.

[ THE GAYMURDERDAVID EVENT CONCLUDES.

DAVID IS NO LONGER OPEN FOR ASKS. ]

[dinkbear]

what is it about using a mobility aid that makes people forget you’re human? 🤔

[mewos-laptop]

Had a convo w/ a friend abt the way Basil gets demonized in the Fandom and figured it wld work as a post ssssooooo here you goooooo

(Sarcastic intent for all of this, it's long as shit so I'm putting this here so ppl don't take it the wrong way)

"Oh wow, this character has canonically been abandoned and neglected in some way for their entire life, and act very rashly, impulsively, and obsessively because of it !!! I wonder if maybe these are symptoms of underlying trauma and a personality disorder. Ohhhh that couldn't be !!!! It's clearly just bc they're and annoying little bitchy abuser manipulator who just wants to date Sunny for his own gain and doesn't care abt his friends 😁😁😁😁 I am not perpetuating any prevalent and harmful stereotypes about BPD, an already stigmatized and demonized disorder which systematically makes it nearly impossible for health professionals to believe you in anything you say, which causes even more trauma for the person suffering from BPD. I'm so glad that I know this character SSSSOOOOOOO WELL and I am now going to post my hot takes abt them and their BPD symptoms all over Tiktok to make teenagers without personality disorders agree w/ me more, and therefore make them ostracize and demonize real people with BPD !!!! I am such a good person for this, and do not need to face any consequences to my abelist actions !!!!"

[sukibenders]

I really enjoy Yellowjackets but the way it throws its poc characters to the side, the way the fandom does is so unsurprising but saddening at the same time. Shauna is one of my favorite characters, she's cool and stuff but, being honest, the trope of housewife having an affair because she's bored of her current life has been played before. So what if this one had certain elements outside of it, it's still common so it kind of grew tiring to see Yellowjackets constantly shove this plot at me when Tai's storyline is right there.

Taissa, a biracial woman who, even after living through something horrific as a kid, "bounced back" and lived the life she always wanted. She was a lawyer, now ran for and won a position in office, married a beautiful and smart woman and had a son, has a whole perfect family who she loves. Only for the trauma, the aspect of her life she promised herself and others to never talk about, is now coming back and in the process causes her to do things she doesn't want to do. The plot that could have come from Taissa alone is out of this world. You mean to tell me that a biracial lesbain running for office wouldn't be more entertaining than Shauna's storyline? Why couldn't Tai be the main focus?

And I don't even want to get into the fandom, but I have too. Listen, I like TaiVan for all that they are. They helped each other survive during a time where they thought it would be impossible. But what annoys me and, sadly, almost pushed me away from this ship, was how the writers and fans treat Simone and Sammy. Like the shows only way to have Tai together with Van was to put her wife in a coma and abandoned her son? That really does not sound like Tai, who fought to get her old life. And very insidious how some fans make certain jokes that just reek of "Let's push away the black characters to make room for the yte ones", because I've seen people call Simone the villain, to other things, just because she told Tai to get help all while framing Van as the better option. I've seen people in the fan call Sammy unnatural or even a demon just because he exists in a way that is not natural, by that I mean acting out and expressing coping mannerisms because he saw a version of his mother who terrified him but can't express, but I forgot because he's a little black boy who needs help people will ignore him or dehumanize him, because that's how this works right? The shows main, and only dark-skinned black characters were quickly pushed aside by the plot for what?

And I have a feeling the show may make us watch Taissa go through great lengths to keep Van alive (even though I do want Van to live), but won't extend the same want to Simone, which will read badly with the undertones in so many ways.

And the fandom treats Tai poorly as well (don't even get me started on some pretending to care about her family just to hang it over her head and call her a deadbeat) and reaching some nearly very ableist thinking when talking about her. Taissa deserved so much better, from the show and the fandom, and I hope they do better in season three but I'm not so sure to be honest, because most of the scenes even having mentions of Tai's blackness were because of Jasmine, not the showrunners, who it would be fine if it were small things here and there but to add so many crucial parts to your character because others won't begins to become a pattern.

[cat-doggy]

Hey, so we can all agree that saying "bipolar abuse, bpd abuse, spd abuse, aspd abuse, ppd abuse, ocpd abuse, etc are real" is bad and abelist, right?

So why is saying "narcissistic abuse is real" okay?

Just a thought

[breaking-binary-system]

A reason why bullshit like narc abuse is not and will not ever be real, from someone with NPD:

We've learned how to be aware when we get a narc crash, especially so we can almost internalize it. We used to get angry and snap at everyone but we learned how to instead spend it snapping at ourselves while one of the protectors keeps anything dangerous away (thanks y'all /gen). We're in one because we applied fir something only to have the fucking owner get it because of course they would, it's their fucking project. We don't hate the owner, sure they're lovely.

We've learned one of the key things that helps is to find positivity specifically for pwNPD. So we looked up narc supply. Every goddamn article for 2 pages was on how dangerous and evil narcissists use positivity to manipulate and if someone craves compliments their a pwNPD.

In an attempt to try and direct something INSIDE to not affect anyone but us, we instead basically got told we're evil and abusive. So, to NPD abuse truthers.

Fuck you. Do you know how much time we spend every fucking day hoping, PRAYING, we aren't abusive? We have to stop ourself from constantly asking our boyfriend if he thinks we're abusive. Because of shit like you guys. We didn't ask for this condition. We have no goddamn CHOICE in it. You wanna know what caused it? 18 years of abuse, day in and day out. Where we never got praise so to us, we crave it. We crave to mean something. We hate us. We think we're the best at shit because it was beat into us we HAD to be

And we know, "narcs think they're better than everyone": A, don't fucking use that term unless your a pwNPD. B, we hate ourself. we think we suck and are horrible but not as horrible as everyone else. We have really a single person we hold even ABOVE our level which is our boyfriend. That is IT. To friends, I love you but I'm sorry. He's the closest to us and he's above.

This derailed but basically. To NPD abuse truthers, go fuck yourselves. And for fucks sake, pwNPD needing supply does not make them cruel or evil, they are still human

[0crooked-arcade0]

We used to have a small following on tiktok and often talked about our system experiences being introject heavy in the age of social media, occasionally I'll get inquiries as to why we stopped posting for the indefinite future, which is a valid question I've thought on many times-

But I think in my case it boils down to the fact that we can't scroll three videos down into the system tag without seeing a post that basically goes

"Reminder! If you're a fictive and you don't immediately separate from your source and change your name you're promoting an anti recovery mindset. 😘✨️Source calls are predatory😰 and being in a relationship with a sourcemate is basically grooming. I hope all fictives rot in hell and stop making real systems look bad.😍😤💫💕."

Like, bait or not, people actually buy into this shit and use it as an excuse to bully people. Like, homegirl, you are throwing stones in glass houses, m'kay? ((LOOKING AT YOU ASPENFROST))

You don't get to come over to my page and tell me that I'm not presenting having the "shitty trauma raction that put a bunch of video game characters in our head for moral support because we couldn't cope with the constant abuse and our only options were being someone else or being dead disorder" in the 'right way'.

Newsflash, you can't say shit, we hail from the same damn circus and your clown shoes gave you up from twenty yards away, were both delusional, CALM DOWN.

((Like, did they pick you? Did throwing people who present the symptoms of their neurodivergency in a way that isn't palatable to your neo-fascist sensibilities make the 'normal people' single you out as the good one? Yikes, I hope you can learn to love yourself despite your symptoms dawg, you'll find support, just don't let those losers use you as a strawman, you diserve better than that.))

-From the desk of District Attorney Alexander Duvall. (Order in the court⚖️)

[disconnectedkid]

Hurt.

TW FOR WHUMP, HEAVILY IMPLIED SA, HEAVILY IMPLIED RAPE, ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS, EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION, MENTAL MANIPULATION, PHYSICAL ABUSE, EMOTIONAL ABUSE, AND OVERALL UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

there is no explicit sex in this fic/srs

Abel is the worst and Harry goes through it

Everything hurt. 

Harry was crying, quietly, one hand over his speakers, as his chest heaved, taking weak, shaking breaths of air, trying to fight the pain. 

He hoped Abel would think his crying was pretty, and not annoying. He would hate to ruin Abel’s good mood. 

After all, Abel had seemed so happy, and so even if Harry was curled in on his side, bleeding and bruised and still dripping from what Abel had done to him, it was worth it, wasn't it? 

After all, Abel said that he hadn’t been acting right lately. That is why he was doing this, to make him act right. 

To make him act like Scott. 

His chest hurt. 

He heard footsteps and twitched, quickly turning over and attempting to sit up, wincing at the feeling and wiping at the running tears with the base of his hand. 

Abel had exited the bathroom, and was staring down at him, his pajama pants already on, all evidence of his prior activities having been purged from his skin. 

Not as though he would have allowed Harry to leaveany marks in the first place. 

“Hey Scott.”  

Abel’s voice was hoarse and cold, as he stared down at the Harry, still curled up in his bedsheets. 

He was Scott, right. He forgot that sometimes 

He let out a small noise of acknowledgment, shifting to sit as straight up as possible, aware of the tears still dripping down his face as he blearily looked around for his clothes, everything in the room blurring together. 

Abel let out an impatient grunt, grabbing Harry’s arm and roughly jerked him up to kneel on the bed, earning a startled yelp from the smaller man. 

“Here.” 

Something was draped over Harry’s shoulders. It was silky, and too big for him, and a pale lavender and- 

Oh.  

It was Abel’s dress shirt, that had been allowed to hang unbuttoned on Abel until now. 

Harry shifted, stuffing his arms inside the sleeves, letting them hang over his hands, as he buttoned up the front. 

“Th-thank you sir.” he said, bowing his head, and his heart jumped. Abel hated his stupid stutter, especially because he couldn’t get rid of it. Hours of prodding around in Harry's voice box had proven that much.  

His throat hurt. 

He flinched, expecting to be hit, but only received an exasperated sigh in response. 

Abel must be in a better mood than he thought. 

He looked up at Abel. It was always hard to tell what he was feeling. Of course, none of the phones had faces, but Abel didn’t even have a visible dial like the rest of them did, able to spin and click to display emotions. 

Instead, he stared blankly down at Harry, before offering him a hand. Harry stared at it in confusion, before realizing what Abel wanted. 

He took the hand, and unsteadily climbed off of the bed, his feet hitting the hardwood floor gently. 

Abel let go of his hand instantly, dropping it to hang limply at Harrys side as he continued to stare at himcoldly. 

“Your clothes are in the wash. Go get cleaned up and come to bed.” 

Harry simply nodded, not trusting himself to speak again as he headed into the bathroom. 

Once inside, he saw the mirror. With a sigh, helooked into it, prepared to assess the damage. 

Unbuttoning the shirt Abel had given him, he revealed the canvas. Purples, browns, reds, blues, and blacks swirled and blossomed on his skin, painting a picture of everything Abel had done. 

There were bruises everywhere. There usually were, but Abel tended to keep them to easily covered up places. These were everywhere, from his neck, where Abel had choked him, to his wrists, where Abel had pinned him down, to his thighs, where Abel had- 

He cut off that train of thought with a shudder. There wasn’t anything he could do about it right now, and he needed to focus on what Abel had told him to do. 

He looked back in the mirror, noting the dried blood that coated him, specifically his hips, shoulders, and collar bones. 

Everywhere Abel had touched hurt. 

He took a washcloth out of the cabinet, and, with a bit of water, began to gently scrub away the red-brown blood that had been caked into his skin. 

He scrubbed at it until his skin was raw. He wasn't sure why, but looking at the bloody bruises made him feel sick. He kept scrubbing, trying to scrub his skin off, scrub off any remnant of Abels touch. 

Now, looking back in the mirror, he took the washcloth and gently wiped the sweat and tears off of him, especially his phone casing, it would be bad if he rusted.  

Abel wouldn’t like that. 

He gave himself another once over, and, after determining this was all he could do for the night, he buttoned the oversized purple shirt back up, placed the washcloth back in the cabinet, and stepped out into the bedroom. 

Abel was already in bed, propped up by a pillow behind his back and reading a book. Harry took a deep breath, steeling himself as he took slow, nervous steps forward. 

Abel looked up from what he was reading, taking notice of Harrys hesitance, he beckoned him to the bed with a finger. Harry sighed, defeated, andstepped to the edge of the bed, taking a deep breath, before sliding himself in bed next to Abel 

He tried to stay on the edge of the bed. For some reason, the feeling of Abel touching him again made his stomach churn, but despite that, the second he sat down, back pressed against the headboard, Abel slid his arm over Harrys shoulders, pulling him flush to Abels side. 

Harry felt sick. And yet, he still couldn't pin down exactly why. Abel was giving him everything, wasn't he?  

He had given him a place to stay, other than the factory, he made sure Harry stayed in line and did what he was supposed to do, he filled Harry with so much love it was almost painful- 

Did Abel love him?  

He had given Harry a purpose, and in Harrys eyes, that was close enough. 

Abel stroked Harry's arm absently, pressing smugly down on the bruises and scratches he had made. 

His touch hurt. 

“You did well tonight, Scott, good job.” 

That was enough to get Harrys fans whirring. Abel never complimented him, so he must have truly been exceptional tonight. 

He felt his face and skin grow warm from the praise. Why would he ever grow sick of this feeling?  

Especially when Abels skin felt cool on his, and his sheets and shirt were soft and silky. 

“Thank you, again sir. I truly don't deserve you.” he said softly, his voice box crackling slightly from the overuse, but not stuttering, this time. 

Abel let out a wry laugh, and, not dropping his book, his other hand moved to grab the edge of Harrys case. 

“You really don't. You're lucky that your... other abilities outweigh your utter incompetence at being a manager.” 

Harry let out a nervous laugh, the backhanded compliment stinging more than it should have, especially considering it was true. 

His words hurt. 

“of course, sir, I understand.” his voice was quieter now, and shaky. 

Abel let out a satisfied hum, pulling Harry to rest his head on Abels shoulder. Harry nuzzled his face into the comfort of Abels neck, the sharp angles of his phone casing not seeming to bother the other man. 

As the night carried on, and Harrys shaking breaths evened out, exhaustion overtook him, despite how hard he tried to fight it. 

 Abel moved his book to the bedside table, and pressed Harry down to lay flat on the mattress, sliding in next to him, and holding Harry's trembling, warm body against his own, quickly falling asleep. 

When Harry woke up, Abel was gone, as he always was after he did this. Harry thought he didn't like to see the aftermath of what he had done.  

Harry sat back up, wincing as his body protested, sending cold, dull aches through his muscles. 

Everything still hurt. 

He sat there, taking a moment to breathe, before pulling himself out of bed. His clothes were neatly folded on the bedside table, a note lying on top of them. 

The note read: 

“I'm at the factory today, don't forget about your shift at location 14, or else. 

-Abel” 

Harry sighed. It seemed like Abels good mood was gone. He hoped it wasn't his fault; he liked to think that he had been doing better. 

He shivered, pushing those thoughts to the back of his head as he quickly removed the lavender shirt, putting on his now-clean suit. 

Still flinching at every brush of cloth against skin, he buttoned up his jacket, making sure the sleeves covered up his bruises, and straightened his tie. 

Scott let out a shaky breath, readying himself for the day ahead. 

Everything hurt.

[goatlingsvent]

uh- queer asian here. goatlings is NOT ableist, racist, cultralist, or homophobic. Its ignorant when it comes to certain topics, but thats why people of that cultures speak up. Like- bfr rn...

👾