#tw bpd abuse mentions

[mewos-laptop]

Had a convo w/ a friend abt the way Basil gets demonized in the Fandom and figured it wld work as a post ssssooooo here you goooooo

(Sarcastic intent for all of this, it's long as shit so I'm putting this here so ppl don't take it the wrong way)

"Oh wow, this character has canonically been abandoned and neglected in some way for their entire life, and act very rashly, impulsively, and obsessively because of it !!! I wonder if maybe these are symptoms of underlying trauma and a personality disorder. Ohhhh that couldn't be !!!! It's clearly just bc they're and annoying little bitchy abuser manipulator who just wants to date Sunny for his own gain and doesn't care abt his friends 😁😁😁😁 I am not perpetuating any prevalent and harmful stereotypes about BPD, an already stigmatized and demonized disorder which systematically makes it nearly impossible for health professionals to believe you in anything you say, which causes even more trauma for the person suffering from BPD. I'm so glad that I know this character SSSSOOOOOOO WELL and I am now going to post my hot takes abt them and their BPD symptoms all over Tiktok to make teenagers without personality disorders agree w/ me more, and therefore make them ostracize and demonize real people with BPD !!!! I am such a good person for this, and do not need to face any consequences to my abelist actions !!!!"

[emotionaleating]

[sin-esthezia]

the thing that gets me the most about ableism against pd’s is that ppl will be like “these disorders make you an ASSHOLE!!!!” and then turn around and pretend that other disorders can’t and don’t make you act shitty.

depression and anxiety can make you irritable and snappy. they can cause you to refuse to listen to people and to be distant and withdrawn. they can cause you to seem angry, bitchy, rude, uncaring, etc.

ptsd causes an array of difficulties in forming meaningful relationships. it pretty much shakes up your entire worldview and sense of self a lot of the time. ptsd can cause you to get angry often. it can cause you to yell and scream. it can cause you to withdraw from others, run away, or cut them out. it can cause general changes in demeanor and more cynical worldviews. it can make you seem grouchy, negative, explosive, impolite, difficult, needy, controlling, etc.

and yet when people with personality disorders have symptoms of that nature, suddenly we are irredeemable monsters. when it’s npd, bpd, hpd, or aspd instead of ptsd or depression and anxiety, people suddenly and magically lose the ability to be understanding.

mental illness is an explanation, not an excuse. i firmly believe that. hurting others is never justified simply because you have any disorder.

but if you can be patient with people who have depression, anxiety, ptsd, ocd, or any other more well understood mental illness, you can be patient with us.

[cccat-in-a-meat-sack]

me, with both:...

[scrimbly-mc-scrombly-iii]

Since it’s disability pride month, let’s all remember that people with NPD, BPD, ASPD, and any other cluster B disorders are NOT inherently bad people, are NOT destined to be abusers or serial killers, and should NOT be stigmatized for their disorders. Also, the term “Narcissistic abuse” is ableist and also complete bullshit. Yes you can be abused by a narcissist, you can be abused by any type of person. But your abuser having NPD doesn’t make what you experienced a whole different type of abuse. I was emotionally abused by someone with brown hair, but that doesn’t make me a victim of “brunette abuse”. So stop fucking using that term. There is nothing you can go through that makes it ok to further stigmatize a disorder.

If you have ASPD, NPD, BPD, HPD, you are not destined to be a bad person. Having a personality disorder is not your fault in any way. You deserve love and acceptance.

Happy July.

[a-sip-of-milo]

Most common responses I get when I post any sort of cluster B positivity:

An extensive trauma dump in an attempt to validate their hatred towards us.

"You sound like a narcissist"

"You're just trying to manipulate us but we won't fall for it"

"This is really invalidating to actual trauma survivors"

"This is why people don't like cluster B's"

"Part of supporting someone with a cluster B disorder is by not enabling their abusive behaviour"

"I'll only support cluster B's if they get help"

Assuming that my opinions are based on a lack of research.

A looooong response about how trauma survivors need to stick together that promptly gets deleted when they realise I myself have a cluster B disorder.

*Posts to r/fakedisordercringe*

Tries to justify the exclusion of an entire group of trauma survivors because "we need to keep ourselves safe from people like you"

[intrusive-thoughts-only]

All vices are fair game with BPD, how many can you collect?

Now Featuring: Substance Use, Self Harm, Binge Drinking, Sex, Nicotine, Starving Yourself, and so much more!

[fatetainted]

Clearing the air here though I'm genuinely afraid for my own safety to.

I didn't block @whitexdove "for no reason" and if they had an ounce of self awareness they would know they were an abusive, manipulative person who drove me to attempt suicide because "it's been a week now" and I "need to stop being so negative all the time." If I didn't respond to their messages they would ask me if I hated them or tell me I was ignoring them or I was making their paranoia worse so I would update them that I wasn't in a headspace because I was having a breakdown or a meltdown and would look later. Because of this they accused me of making their anxiety worse and I needed to get over it because I was having a very bad week with my life falling apart. I nearly killed myself because of years of manipulative abuse and them telling me to just get over it when I was suicidal.

But they've been suicidal for years and I was meant to comfort them every time and several times now they have threatened to cut me off multiple times over the most minor, insane little things. Instead of actually communicating what was wrong and how they felt they made essentially a break up playlist blaming me entirely and told me to listen to it to see what I did wrong and the only fault they would ever take was that they didn't say anything sooner. But suddenly when everything was fine again they would ask when I would send them a gift I bought them. However they had essentially convinced me we were over to the point where I grieved the friendship and returned the gift because I had no use for it anymore.

They hide behind mental illness and autism as if that excuses them being abusive to me and the things they've said to my friends. They blame my BPD for blocking them when it's their own actions and I'm sick of your annoying pity parties.

For years they have emotionally abused me and for years my therapist has been telling me they're not a good influence on my life and she was correct. I developed a THC and xanax dependency because they caused me so much anxiety with their abuse that I could not speak to them without using both daily (and of course, if I didn't speak to them or tell them why I wasn't going to be, they would tell me how paranoid I was making them, but if I DO tell them then I'm being too negative and ignoring their boundaries)

They were ALWAYS setting unreasonable boundaries and I bent over backwards to accommodate. Blocking them is my boundary. And now they're fishing for attention and sympathy for a situation they caused themselves and to drag me back into their abusive cycle.

In addition to this they would say very shitty things about my other friends that actually treated me well and tried to manipulate them into not only making them a LOT of free art but making the character details and backstory (which is a very similar thing they got mad at another artist for!). Most of my friends didn't even like them and were being cordial because I was their friend.

They are now refusing to remove characters based on my original work and flipping out on my friends for no reason other than jealousy and pettiness. Stop plagarizing me, stop claiming you just added to my lore when you added NOTHING and nearly everything is based on my ideas, including Dreameater who is literally the twin of my oc in my original work. And Caelum who is the brother of another oc of mine in my universe. You said you "won't throw away characters you worked hard on" but you have no lore that isn't mine and barely ever spoke of these characters or developed them. You added nothing to this universe or these characters. Don't you EVER use the design I made for the alien species (that is my lore and not yours!) again. It's no longer yours and you can have back that mime design you gave me, I truly do not care. But if you don't listen to me now then by your own logic I can bring back those ocs I made in your universe and I will use them because I worked "so hard" on them.

Before you pull the "I'm younger than you, how can I be manipulative?" Like you did before when you had a major fall out JUST like this (and yes! You also force shipped with me and guilt tripped just like you did with her!) Anyone of any age can manipulate someone else of any age. Just because you're younger doesn't make you the victim.

Stumpy. You are a toxic person the refuses to seek out ANY form of help and expected me to play therapist for you all the time but God forbid I need someone to listen and you expected me to accept how terribly you treated me forever. That's why I left.

You identify with and project heavily onto a character who has canonically killed her entire school and drugged her crush to get him to like her and you ship them despite the clear sexual assault and how canonically abusive and terrifying her obsession with him is. She's a genocidal white savior and that's fucking terrifying. Even more so terrifying is the way you joked about how you kill your rats and feed the dead rats to raccoons. And the fact you fetishize trans men being pregnant, it's a very clear very gross fetish you cannot let go of and forced on me constantly. The fact you seem to fetishize sexual assault and rape and ship people like that with their victims is vile. The way you talked about sleeping next to me in the same bed was disturbing as I look back on these things and I truly don't trust you to have not done things while I was unconscious. I have that little faith in you because of how you act and fetishize things.

You also told me you were going to whitewash a canon poc character and it's okay because it's you doing it. Genesis is Asian. He isn't white. You drew my Japanese character with yellow skin. You white knight in public but you're shitty to any race that isn't Korean or Native American.

For the record, I don't hate you. But I'm happier without you in my life and I don't feel anything for you anymore because of your own actions that broke our relationship irreparably. You're a toxic, vile person and completely self centered and extremely possessive.

Get help. And stop playing the fucking victim.

Allow me to return the favor. I take accountability for not saying anything sooner even though with your unreasonable boundaries and constantly telling me you're suicidal that I could never bring it up with you or any bad thing you were doing to me because you would probably kill yourself if I upset you.

Now you take accountability for your actions and deal with the consequences of abusing me.

You literally never loved me, you just miss having someone love you so much you didn't have to love them back (which you pretty much told me several times you were incapable of even with your own family).

Good riddance. Thanks for the memories even though they weren't so great. I truly will not be returning to this blog so don't bother trying to contact me here or anywhere else. I'm done.

[neurob-ug]

This is a not-so-friendly reminder to please unfollow me if you believe in the existence of "narcissistic abuse."

No, it's not "a very distinct type of abuse caused by narcissitic personality disorder." The term was coined by a man who had no real expertise in the field of mental health, which also why it's not recognised by the majority of professionals.

[borderline-culture-is]

bpd culture is was i really abused by so many people or do i just have a massive victim complex? (there’s so much more evidence that i was actively being abused despite me occasionally being in the wrong yet everyone in my life has made me out to be some victim complex manipulator that i no longer believe i was ever abused)

-🪐🫀

.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

isn't it funny how spop fans just decided one day that catra canonically has BPD? the show doesn't explicitly say it, none of the crew confirms it either. spop fans just saw that some of catra's behaviour is similar to that of people with BPD (mainly her abandonment issues and s*icidal tendecies, i think) and decided that they're qualified to diagnose this fictional character with a very real disorder.

look, if you have BPD yourself and you relate to catra, that's totally valid. but headcanons are called headcanons for a reason. as long as the writers didn't write catra as a character with BPD, she does not have BPD. her exhibiting some similar traits does not count.

in that case, i can say that horde prime has NPD and therefore shouldn't be held accountable for his actions. but that's not how it works.

even if catra was written to have BPD, that's not an excuse for the way she treats people. you cannot use your mental state to justify abuse or any of the bazillion crimes catra has committed.

as someone who struggles with mental health (bipolar type 2) and also as a psych major, while it sucks to have the chemicals in your body control the way you feel and act, it's not an excuse to hurt others. and you can't blame people if they get mad at you or choose to walk away from you.

therapy and medication would definitely help you in this scenario but in catra's case, there's no therapist in etheria (perfuma is not a therapist, and never will be) and i also doubt that catra would be willing to go to therapy, considering how she's not even ready to admit that she's the problem.

in conclusion, catra does not have BPD. she was not written as a character who has BPD, even if she exhibits some of the symptoms. you cannot use this as an argument when people point out her toxicity. learn to differentiate a headcanon from canon.

[fearofahumanplanet]

If someone without a Cluster B disorder (especially a neurotypical individual) manipulates others, yells at others, gets aggressive and/or violent, intentionally crosses boundaries, or makes white lies and small mistakes knowing they will be fine, they are almost always instantly forgiven.

If someone w/ a Cluster B disorder manipulates others without being aware of doing such a thing, panics and yells, gets aggressive out of fright and insecurity, unintentionally crosses boundaries, or accidentally makes a mistake or compulsively lies (these are all results of subconscious symptoms that it takes years to even notice for us, much less control, btw), we are treated as abusive monsters that need to be "starved of attention/supply" or "removed from your life" (actual terminology I've seen from medical websites, btw).

I have spent most of my twenty-one wretched years of life completely unaware that I had BPD, NPD, and ASPD, and I have been constantly gaslit, harassed, guilt-tripped, victim-blamed, mistreated, witch hunted, suibaited, attacked, and had my life threatened for symptoms that I have only cognitively been aware of for maybe a few months at most, because there's no goddamn resources for these disorders. Yet no matter how much work I put in to be aware of others, no matter how much work I put in to compensate for my brain that is quite literally programmed completely different than a regular human being's, and I don't mean that in a "something went wrong here" no I mean my brain is practically that of an alien's, I am still treated as some monster that is out to ruin the lives of everyone around them.

It's getting a bit sad to realize that I will only ever be sympathized for or loved when I'm six feet under, because nothing coaxes out lip service like a gravestone.

[emotionaleating]

i just wish you met me before all these bad things happened to me

[cluster-b-culture-is]

cluster b culture is getting angry at your significant other for "no reason", but knowing deep down the reason is because they wont abuse you are use you like youre used to

.

[cemitadepollo]

@tragicallyphosphorescent

You see, the thing about "sociopaths" it's that they're not real. If you open a psychology book, as you apparently hint to have done at some point, you'll discover that the term you're using isn't only scientifically inaccurate, but an outdated and harmful term used to refer to people with ASPD– Anti-Social Personality Disorder. This cluster B disorder is developed as a coping mechanism by people who suffer from childhood neglect, so people demonize literal abuse survivors for their little "serial killer abuser sociopath" fantasy that they saw in their favorite true crime movie. I would love to know where did you get the objective fact that most "sociopaths" don't seek treatment and hurt people.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder, otherwise known as NPD or just "narcissists", is a disorder that's classified in the cluster B category of personality disorders according to the DSM-V, this disorder is also developed because of childhood neglect. People love to armchair diagnose their abusers with this disorder under the ignorant belief that narcissistic people are selfish and that's it, it's used as an interchangeable term, which couldn't be further from reality. So no, I don't believe in "narcissistic abuse". Abuse is just abuse, an abuser is just an abuser, there's no need to slap anything else alongisde that label.

Just because a manifestation of trauma is different it doesn't mean it's bad. People with ASPD and NPD are as likely to abuse someone as a person without them. Lacking empathy doesn't make someone a bad person, empathy is just the capability to instinctually feel another human's feelings, but it's not the same as sympathy or compassion. A good person is one who's actions do good.

Now, I'm not invalidating the abuse anyone has gone through. If you tell me somebody, anybody, abused you, I believe you. But there's no need to demonize disorders in order to find support or validation.

You can find a free PDF of The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 5th edition (DSM-V) easily on the internet, no need to buy the book itself. I suggest you give it a read to clear up that whole "sociopath" thing and to educate yourself more on the narcissistic personality disorder. As a disclaimer, the DSM-V is highly discussed by the neurodivergent community on a regular basis and some individuals, including myself, have a word or two about certain criteria that needs to be met to get a diagnosis, but I'm advising you to read it as a start.

Sincerely, a borderline with fluctuating empathy that's very tired of watching their cluster B siblings get denied treatment and dignity, because in case you didn't know this, lots of us actively seek treatment but get deemed "too hard to treat" or get actively abused by the medic system IF we are even allowed some sort of therapy. As a neurodivergent person, I'd assume you know of the kinds of horrors people like you and me suffer in psych wards, except people with personality disorders and other demonized illnesses still get thrown around and abused since our disorders aren't deemed as "harmless" as people who suffer from depression and anxiety or people with autism.

[bloodigutz]

yk if npd abuse truthers ACTUALLY cared about trauma victims, then... why do they go after them? where the fuck do you think npd comes from? out of thin air?

"they're all gaslighters and assaulters and manipulators" 9/10, these are people that have been gaslit, assaulted or manipulated. you don't need to put down mentally ill people to make yourself look good. yk why? because it doesn't.

nobody's saying don't call out people who assault others, because you absolutely should! however, be mindful about the fact when you say it's EVERY person with npd that's "violent/disgusting".. you are calling innocent and traumatised people the exact words they're trying to run away from.

a common thing amongst people with things like ptsd is the same trust issues you can see in npd. (clarification, I'm not putting PTSD down, in pointing out the irony.)

when a traumatised person with ptsd unintentionally seeks for attention, the same people saying "people with npd are disgusting for wanting attention" go head over heels to pretend they actually care about how that person feels.

you don't care about abuse victims.

you don't care about traumatised people.

you only care about yourself, ironically. bc isn't that what got you all so angry in the first place?

if this post makes you mad, it should. you are killing the exact people you pretend to protect.