#turigirls are valid

[honeydreamzz]

a message from a mlw grayro-ace transmasc and questioning multiromantic

lesboys and turigirls are valid.

he/him lesbians and she/her veldians are valid.

aromantics, asexuals and aromantic asexuals are valid.

cistrans people are valid.

intersex people are valid.

non-binary and otherwise genderqueer people are valid.

m-spec lesbians and veldians are valid.

transmascfems are valid.

afab transfems and amab transmascs are valid.

straightbians, straightcians and gaybians are valid.

if your identity is considered contradictory, complicated, weird or difficult to understand but it makes you happy and doesn't purposefully harm others in any way, it's valid.

you're all welcome on my blog <3

[perennialkarmaofficial]

I judged you too harshly, lesboys. I'm sorry for my disgusting behavior. You're valid and deserve a place in our community. Same for you turigirls. I see you, we're all valid. Good faith identities, I love you.

[contradictory-label-culture-is]

Controdictory label culture is having people close to you be anti-good faith and just having to sit there while they go on rants about how "MAN ARE TRYING TO INVADE LESBIAN SPACES!" And "I'm an inclusionist but I don't support -"

God it's really dumb, I'm not gonna act like I have all the lesbian history in my goddamn head but Butch lesbians that are boys..like that kind of gender non conforming are really not crossing their minds, huh? Also the last one- eugh.

[sirenium]

The queer community became a joke once people started doing validity olympics

[cybrfngzz]

gender and sexuality is complicated. im a lesbian, my boyfriend is gay, its a sapphic relationship, but also an mlm relationship.

[androgynousspace]

"I'm an AFAB transcisgirl who is also turigirl" so close... you're actually a cishet afab female who fetishizes ACTUAL trans people and gay men for your k1nks. You are a disgusting "human", you are transphobic, homophobic, and not welcomed in the Tumblr community. Tumblr should be a safe haven for ACTUAL lhgbtqia2S+ and not your k1nks and mental illness. I'm fine with xenogenders, hell I USE THEM! people are even convincing me to be chill around lycanthropy. Those are explainable, you can NOT explain how you're a cis afab girl, who identifies as a trans girl who identified as a cis girl, and that you're only s3xually attracted to GAY MEN! Therapy is expensive, yes. But 26 Oz Morton salt is $1.49 and a tablespoon measure is $2.29. Go fill it up 9-12 times in the span of 10 minutes. Cheaper than therapy 🥰

[sage-thee-herbmaster]

I always wonder why people don’t like lesboys then I remember that not everyone knows people can call themself a boy in a nonbinary way. I’m a nonbinary boy and a lesbian, so by definition I can call myself a lesboy if I want to, and for a while I was too scared to because I don’t want people to think I’m a binary boy who calls myself a lesbian when I’m very much NOT a binary boy!

I understand that a cis guy calling himself a lesbian in bad faith gives lesbians the ick (including me!) but that’s not the case for 99.9% of people who use the lesboy label. Yes it includes binary trans men, but some can’t help that they still feel a connection to their lesbianism even after their egg cracks, they used to ID as girls/women after all!

I, personally, wouldn’t date a trans man even if he calls himself a lesbian but that’s just me, and a lesbian dating a binary trans man who also calls himself a lesbian in good faith doesn’t affect me personally in anyway. This is the same for Turigirls (the counterpart to Lesboy) but I’m not a girl or romantically/sexually attracted to men so that’s not a label I feel like can talk about.

Conclusion: Lesboys and Turigirls are valid, and they’re our fellow queers and belong in the community regardless <3

[adderal1-0]

Just got an anon ask hating me for not supporting lesboys lmao 😭

Babies first hater I’m famous guys!!!

[the-gentleman-of-the-dark]

Radinclusive gay/turian flag

So, i just wanted to make a gay flag that will be absolutely inclusive for every gay person.

purple stripe represents gays who identify with man, male or masculine genders;

red pink stripe represents gays who identify with woman, female or feminine genders;

yellow stripe represents gays who are non binary, androgynous, multigender or intersex gays;

white stripe represents inclusivity, mspec gays and turigirls positivity;

turquoise stripe represents queer attraction to men in any form and shape.

This flag can be used by everyone who identifies with term "gay" in any way and who feels queer attraction to men!

[hawai1-hawai1]

All my homies hate lesboys fuck lesboys

"lesbian men" when they realize that they aren't lesbian and just making allat up to look special (they are straight)

[errrr-vent-blog]

"wait but how can that work ?" instead of asking how their queer identity works, and how can it be valid, maybe ask them their experiences. ask how it feels to themself being a mspec mono, or lesboy, or turigirl, or whatever. instead of getting angry at queer identities which dont fit your standard, just perhaps let it go and ask them as a person what their identity means to them. stop policing identities and open up your mind a little.

[lovesick0cupid]

"i mean i dont think turigirls are valid but your different bcuz you arent a girl like them! your just nonbinary!"

IVE BEEN IN A GIRL LEAN FOR MONTHS WHAT ARE YOU OOOOOON WHY ARE YOU DECIDING MY GENDER FOR ME???

[our-lesboy-experience]

hiii!!! so uh, this is sorta about 'contradicting' (?) identities in general, but i only recently found out about, like, lesboys and gaygirls and all of that, but what is it exactly? like how does it work? or is that weird to ask? i'm trying figuring myself out but a lot of stuff i've seen doesn't exactly... explain it (or explain it well), and while i guess i do get why, it's just kinda hard to understand it myself for my own identity

also, probably a question you get a lot in a hating way, but isn't the definition of lesbian nonman loving nonman? so then how does lesboy work? like is it for people with more complicated gender identites, like fluctuating genders and bigender? just genuinly confused, my apologies...

sorry for not getting to this sooner- been busier lately and didn't have the time to collect everything I needed to respond!

About what it exactly means to be a lesboy or a gaygirl ('turigirl' is the more common term, 'turi' meaning turian, another word for gay attraction to men. so I'll be referring to it as that from now on), there isn't exactly....one right way to call yourself such. it really depends on the person, but I can give you a basic definition and a list of common reasons someone may call themselves such

im gonna put a read more because this ended up being super long so sorry

lesboy is a term for any lesbian who may have a connection to manhood and/or masculinity. turigirl is just the opposite of that, a gay person (mlm/nblm) who may have a connection to womanhood and/or femininity. common reasons I've seen are:

being multigender or genderfluid

being cusper/in between trans and cis gnc (in between trans man and cis gnc woman, in between trans woman and cis gnc man)

being a system who uses lesboy/turigirl as a collective identity or when identities blur together

a person who uses man/boy or woman/girl as a means of masculine or feminine gender expression but not actually identifying as such

being a trans man/ftm or a trans woman/mtf who still identifies as lesbian or gay for personal reasons

those are far from all the reasons, everyone has their own unique experiences, but the gist is these people may have some sort of connection to manhood/womanhood while still having a queer attraction. personally, I'm multigender, genderfluid, and transmasc. lesboy I find is a nice label to express being both my bigender self and being a lesbian, as it forces people to acknowledge both without separating the two. it's cute and makes me feel validated!

as for "nonman attracted to nonmen" definition of lesbian......it has its issues. it's received criticism all around from all sorts of lesbians in the community. this definition is very new - it emerged only in the recent years, and someone on twitter had date searched it and found it didn't even really exist before 2019. and having that as the one and only official definition that every lesbian has to abide by, when lesbian is a centuries old word with so much history behind it, is a bit ignorant. people who are multiple genders or ftm or bi being lesbian is not even remotely new, going back decades upon decades, and it never stopped existing too. It's a bit weird to have a whole new definition that doesn't include all sorts of lesbians that have been here for so long and just tell them they're not welcomed anymore, right?

that's not even close to the only issue there is with it. it's been disliked for centering lack of attraction to men, or defining lesbian in relation to men, rather than who we're actually attracted to. putting nonbinary people in a new binary of either being "men or nonmen," which not all feel comfortable putting themselves into. especially when considering a definition of gay being "nonwomen attracted to nonwomen," man-woman bigender people are simultaneously excluded from being both lesbian or gay. It inherently overlaps with mspec identity ("attraction to nonmen, which is more than one gender" and "any orientation that involves attraction to more than one gender" kinda obviously overlap), despite people insisting that a lesbian can never be mspec. people have found multiple loopholes in it, (which I can elaborate on if someone wants me to, for the sake of trying to make this as short as possible), and lastly, and term "nonman" (and nonwoman) were found to have existed before to describe the degendering of black people in society. this isn't the only source I've seen for this, but sadly I can't exactly find it (or find it without going back to that hellsite called twitter and I'm not doing that to myself)

oh and as the link points out, defining lesbian by these words also ends up excluding a lot of two-spirit people from ever identifying as lesbian, myself included. which is also really racist. I don't know how you're gonna end up excluding a whole cultural gender that's common for indigenous americans to describe themselves with and try to prove it somehow isn't racist, to be honest

and lastly, some surveys/polls have shown that the definition isn't the most widely accepted by lesbians as people make it out to be. there's this simple poll that someone posted asking how lesbians felt about the definition that received 1,529 responses, and 61.1% of voters said they disliked it. comments gave lots of reasons I've stated already. there was another survey put out that received 211 responses that for any lesbian who had a genderqueer or unique relationship with gender, and one of the questions asking opinions on the "nonmen loving nonmen" as a definition. the average among the group was slightly negative (average 2.838), and reported that the group who tended to feel the most positively about it didn't consider themselves to be trans, with the other positive leaning group considered themselves to be somewhat cis. the group that felt the most negatively sometimes considered themselves to be trans. and of the multigender participants, the average opinion was 2.255 (more negative than the overall average). When concluding, the original poster stated, "When divided by gender, the only groups to feel positive about this definition were "not trans" and "somewhat cis" participants. Multigender participants felt especially negative about this definition"

all of this shows that this definition isn't nearly the best for everyone who considers themselves a lesbian. I know it's been a way to include nonbinary people who are lesbian in it's definition, but I think it really misunderstands why nonbinary people are included in lesbianism in the first place, and just assumes that all nonbinary people aren't men and fails to recognize that multigender/genderfluid people are nonbinary too. and it's not like lesbian has to only have on definition- it can definitely have multiple and depend on each person's experience with it. if someone personally defines them being lesbian around being a nonman attracted to nonmen, and takes pride in not being attracted to men, that's totally fine. what becomes a problem is forcing all lesbians to define themselves like this and make it the standard, or else they're "not real lesbians." it is ahistorical and ignorant to require this or else you'll strip them of their lesbian status, and is really at the end of the day, lesbophobic. especially as a requirement that primarily exists in online spaces. im sure the lesbian who is not at all connected to these circles doesn't particularly care about strict requirements or whether someone is a "nonman" or not. in conclusion, it is not the best nor most accepted definition of lesbian, and deciding which lesbians are valid or not based solely on that definition is pretty exclusionary and ends up policing a lot of lesbians, myself included

[contradictory-label-culture-is]

lesboy culture is making a post about being a lesboy and getting a block list of terfs in return

💗

[sirenium]

Someone left a hate comment on one of my posts, so ya know what that means: another positivity post!

m-spec lesbians/gays, lesboys, turigirls, and anyone else that is 'the reason the LGBTQ community gets mocked' are cool ASF and are an important part of the community. Fuck 'being valid' as a queer person; we're all invalid to bigots, and that doesn't mean shit. We're going to be here, we have always been here, and we're not going anywhere.

Nothing a blank 'hater' account says will change that, either.

[gray-ace-space]

Heya! so this is probably really dumb... I figured I am aegosexual but I don't feel comfortable (yet) telling anybody irl since it's such a niche sexuality and I don't wanna do the explaining or have people thinking I am weird. would I still be valid if I just said I am ace/on the ace spec? I think that would make me feel most comfy but I don't wanna be a hypocrite. idk, sorry I cannot own up to it (yet?)

hi, i wrote a response to this then i read it over again and realized it sounded harsh. so, you know, just assume i'm not being harsh at you, i'm being harsh on your behalf.

you don't owe anyone shit. do i tell everyone i'm a genderqueer bigender graydemisexual omnigay bi lesbian turigirl every single time? no, i say i'm genderqueer, demi, and bi. not even most of my friends know all my specific labels. (just strangers on tumblr i guess..)

you are asexual. absolutely nobody needs to know anything more than that if you don't feel like telling them. your comfort comes first.