#tomorrows shouldnt be so bad... i think | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

istherewifiinhell · 11 months

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give me a task that requires a power sander ANYDAY over the shit i had to do today. like sure the physical strain but i feel like the mental entertainment is... clearly apparent to anyone whose used one/can picture it and its the right kind of pervert with a real can do attitude.

#some shit #✌🏻 listen. some multistep tasks are just. ughhhh. to me.#tomorrows shouldnt be so bad... i think #BUT using a mouse sander a bunch? loud as shit can only hear the bass track of my music #making INAPPROPIATE and also very FUNNY to ME mental associations.#thats good times.#ill give this the #port posting #just on insinuiation i guess.

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year

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family outing

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 7 #yakuza series #yakuza like a dragon #yakuza 7 #masato arakawa #masumi arakawa #jo sawashiro #snap sketches #HI this the second comic i was talkin bout :)#anyway i just love the arakawa family.. theyre all so goofy and twisted...#i wanna draw them more so bad but i have to do a commission tomorrow :(((#shouldnt take long tho.. then im drawin jo prob causei have images in my head #in review i prob shouldnt have given masumi his glove since this is supposed to be before ichi #buuut too late to go back to fix it now #dont think anyone cares enough anyway LMAO but ill make a mental note for myself in the future #anyway nighty night

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lesbianjonimitchell · 9 months

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maybe i should wash my hair in case i die of sepsis

#i need to go to the doctor so bad 😃#just to clarify i dont think i have sepsis but i shouldnt have put off going to the doctor for so long. um. hopefully i wont die before #tomorrow i don't want to go to the emergency doctor today. i think it would help if i could just sleep but im in too much pain right now 👍

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avocado-frog · 4 months

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Month old writing share game

Thanks for the tag from @elsie-writes i procrastinated hard on this one but I think that the rules are just to share a bit of writing. So here's a little chunk from something I just wrote:

One time, a few years back, when Logan was nineteen, Lily was twelve, Jaxon was just about eleven, and Dylan was eight, they went to the park. He took them to the park to distract them, sometimes, but he didn't remember the specific reason that time around. Dylan had wandered off a little while after helping Logan pack sandwiches at home- after Lily and Jaxon already left- to go to the garden. Two older men, fifties or sixties, one in blue overalls and the other in a plain, grey shirt were teaching them how to use a rake. A woman a bit younger, dirty blonde hair in a bun behind her head, had a pocket of seeds for Dylan to plant. Logan sat on the bench to watch them, a bit warily. But they seemed friendly enough. Jaxon, usually, would run off to go find people to play with. He was sociable, he liked making friends, but even that day, as sunny as it was, it was still too early for kids his age to start coming over. Mostly, it was the parents of toddlers who wanted their kids to run off some energy. Sometimes, the toddlers would try and get him to play, too, and Jaxon obliged every time, but he seemed content with just his sister today. He didn't have any interest in gardening with Dylan. Lily was by the monkey bars, standing on top of the black platform underneath them. Jaxon sat on the ground, digging a hole in the bark with his hands. Lily jumped up to grab the bars, but she was getting tall enough that she didn't need to jump as high now. Once she had a grip on the yellow metal, she pulled herself up to sit on the top. She sat there for a while, talking to Jaxon about something Logan couldn't hear at the distance he was, and given his attention was split between them and Dylan. Lily had swung her legs over the bars and leaned down in between the gaps to hang upside down, and of course Jaxon wanted to try. He jumped up, just like Lily did, grabbed onto the bars, and it should've been a forewarning when his hand slipped before he regained his hold. He jumped up to sit on the top bars, and then his leg got caught in between, and he fell backwards trying to untangle himself. He had picked the bar closest to the platform. Hanging upside down, right above the edge of the black platform, with his leg stuck in between the bars. He must not have been really thinking past getting his leg unstuck. Logan heard a woah, are you okay, that caught his attention just as he managed to free himself. And then he fell. And hit his head on the edge of the platform and hit it again as the rest of him landed in the bark. Jaxon hadn't even cried, which was astonishing to Logan, who had shot up like a rocket and rushed over to check on him. Because Logan would've cried hard if he hit his head like that. Twice. Lily had scrambled down to see if he was okay, too, but Jaxon only sat in the bark, moved to sit with his legs outstretched, one hand making a circle in the wood bits, blinking like he was confused. There was a steady stream of blood gushing from his nose, too. His eyes weren't quite uneven yet, but Logan didn't think for a second that Jaxon got away without a concussion. He instructed Lily to go watch Dylan, tell them where he went, while he took their brother home to check on him. Jaxon blinked again. Logan grabbed him by the arm, dragged him to his feet, and dragged him home, having to hold his own sleeve against his nose because Jaxon wasn't doing it himself.

Open tag since this is a month and a half old sorry lmao

#the ages at the beginning are mostly meant for me to keep track of The Timeline #also this is unedited so if there's any weird sentence structure i'm fixing it tomorrow so don't point it out. anyways storytime with isaac #one time when i was in the third grade. about eight or nine years old. i was on the monkey bars at my school #so we had two playgrounds for recess. one was for kindergarten to second grade the other was from third to fifth graders #the third to fifth graders one was bigger. the other one was smaller #so i was on the smaller one with this girl i knew named verity and she was trying to show me how to hang upside down #but i was too big for them so when i tried my leg got caught between the bars #and there were these two bars that were kind of like step ladders to reach. if you were a little kid who needed help reaching. which i wasn #so i fell and cracked my nose on the first bar and hit my head on the second #the kid verity was FREAKING out. crying screaming etc #she ran to go get the teacher and i have this vivid memory of being like really dizzy and just staring at the bark and not moving #because it didn't hurt as bad as verity thought it did + i think i was confused and trying to piece together. why that just happened to me #the nurses made me go home and i had the sickest black eye and a concussion while i got to sit in the back of my mom's office #with a minion's ice pack #it hurt like a motherFUCKER after like two hours though #giving characters things that happened to me as a kid is a good fun time #also i shouldnt have been hanging out with verity. bestie once dug a hole in the grass and burrowed herself a hole to escape the school #via dent in the fence. like a fuckin woodland creature bro #rambles in the tags #writeblr #wip: rosemary

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opens-up-4-nobody · 10 months

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...

#ok. this is the fucking bullshit thing abt grad school. u go to fucking grad school bc u r a fucking tryhard nerd freak #who is either naturally very smart or ur so fucking anxious u r incapable of allowing urself to get a bad grad #and then u go to fucking grad school and everyone's like: man fuck ur classes. if youre getting streight As then u aren't focusing on ur #research. and theyre right. but u still cant fucking let go of the idea that if u get a bad grad the world is gonna fucking end and u r a #bad person. u didnt try hard enough. all this to say i have a final project that i put way too much energy into and not even in a good way #i would just open the document. start sobbing. and then close it and spiral abt how i didn't want to work on it. so its bullshit #i mean. its a good project idea ans i probably sound like i kno wtf im talking abt bc i do. i worked on that topic for 4 years but like #i could make it wayyyyy better. its bullshit. i didnt even number the citations to give more page space. i made section headers. i didnt #wrap text. i could add like 4 more lines of text if i wanted but i think im not gotta bc fuck it. ugh. i dont even. i fucking avoide #stochastic stuff altogether which i kno im gonna have to fight abt but like fuck it who cares abt randomness. i just wanna focus on the #predictably aspect of community composition. fuck u. i shouldnt have picked this topic. i mean. i had to bc its like the one microbe thing #i could do but its also like the exact topic that makes me wanna rip my hair out and start screaming. like jesus christ who tf cares? ugh.#i think id give myself a B if it was an undergrad class. but the standard is higher in an all grad class. ugh. i hate this. i should just #send it abd be done. i dont even kno when its due tomorrow. before class i guess. idk i felt like garbage today. fucking vertigo bby. i feel #ok now tho. so maybe the allergic reacting is over???? fingers r still arthritisy tho. jesus. im falling apart #ive got a pretty good sounding excuse for being lazy tho: owo i had an allergic reaction to my antidepressants 🥳 but nah no excuses we run #this body into the ground. like the good old days.#unrelated

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wastelandhell · 1 year

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deranged rambling

#i typed out another post but it became a massive text wall that i probably shouldnt post #but tl;dr im severley depressed. i have been my whole life but it started getting bad again in november #and this last month has been the hardest month of my fucking life #im so sleep deprived that i cant think clearly i cant eat im in constant pain #my thoughts arent even coherent my brain feels like its being twisted around #i cant do my job anymore i stopped booking clients #so thats how my lifes been going #dont worry about me ill be fine i always pull through im just tired #im going to talk to my brother tomorrow. my relationship with him is strained but hes all i have and i know he can help me.#i dont know why im posting this. ive been drinking.#also sorry for how cold ive been lately #and how ive been ignoring all my messages/asks/replies/tags for the last few months #i do like hearing from people i just. literally cannot respond

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hoshiina · 2 months

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chat we are SO BACK THERE WILL BE A POST TOMORROW

#I FIGURED IT OUT #i was worried id stop writing once school started but i think im getting the idea if i write on the train.... it may work....#but i did write the beginning of it on the plane....#well we'll find out next week saturday if i can keep up my terribly rigorous schedule of posting a grand total of um ONCE A WEEK #(absolutely NO REASON I SHOULDNT BE ABLE TO) (SUMMER SCHOOL ISNT HTAT HARD)#anyways WE WILL SEE !!!!#i have so many good reqs in my asks rn in reality i need to be posting like. 2 times a week idealy #like theres 10 (about to be 9) wdym its going to take NINE WEEKS TO GET THROUGH THEM SOMETHING IS WRONG #SORRY LITERALLY NO ONE CARES MY BAD anyways TLDR WILL POST TOMORROW !

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toastsnaffler · 4 months

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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.

#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out #not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her #like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool #it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun #i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again #but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too #to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together #thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all #like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad #and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do #and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends #im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for #but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen #to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it #i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and #decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen #and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree #but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most #and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen #and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway #so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me #which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its #crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it #idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her #i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of #resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different #and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has

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zoppzoop · 4 months

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GAAHAHHHHH

#venting in the tags #maybe its just past darkness and the Bad Thoughts which i shouldnt listen to are clouding my brain too much #but i feel so fucking weird and inadequate over everything rn #im unable to work on drawings as i usually would have and its kinda plaguing everything which it should like yeah i love drawing but #i cant let just one aspect of me ruin everything. right? the fact that i havent been able to draw as well as i usually can should make me #feel sick to the stomach and unsure about everything i do but it happening and i hate it.#plus i got the ipad id saved up from the comms to buy and its fun and nice and all and maybe i just need more practice with it but i feel #like im not able to draw on it even more? and i spent the whole day trying to get used to it but its just not as good?? and then when i went #back to the no screen wacom i couldnt get a hang of it becuase idek its just not happening #and also the fucking art block wants me dead i swear i want to draw so bad and i have so many ideas but the moment i start anything its just #crumbles down into nothingness and i hate everything i do and gods fuck i want to cry but i can because there are people at home and #usually im a big 'crybaby' when im at home but i dont fucjing wanna be like that anymore like i can handly my shit myself im fine.#i dont need to just fuckinf cry abiut it becuase thats not gonna fox anything but also i feel like crying might just make me feel better #but then id have to hear shit from my family and i know theyre just teasing in a /pos way but i dont wanna fucking deal with that #plus my brother iust talking to him os annoying sometimes like he talks about things so condescendingly and fucking hel dude shut #the fuck up i dont need you telling me that my art is something people can 'just do' and the fact that i was able to get the ipad #'basically for free since i got that money from the little drawings i make' as if they dont fucking mean anything to you like #shut the fucking fuck up dude i worked hard on those and even though i dont like my own shit sometimes i still fucking work hard on those #fuck you you bitch #i think a lot of things are just piling up and i need to sleep #tomorrow will be a new dawn and a fresh start and maybe ill hate myself less #ps. note to anyone reading the tags #im fine i just needed to yell out and express my frustration a bit. some sleep will help surely.

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be-good-to-bugs · 5 months

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i need to stop staying up so late when i need to work the next day augggg

#the bin #i work at 11am at least so i do still have awhile till i need to get up #usually i work 4 hours earlier so im lucky i guess. not exactly tho bc i much prefer morning shifts but whatevs #i texted my sister today to ask if she can come this weekend but she didnt respond. hhh. im gonna be so mad if she says no #i just realized im abt to be out of cat food too so she HAS to comw at some point soon #it doenst even have to be the weekend. thats just the days she has off but if she can stop by anotehr time then thats fine #or if just her boyfriend can come drop stuff off and pickup her card then thats fine. but idk. i even offered to lend her gas money if my #next paycheck is enough to allow that. i shoudo get it tomorrow or the day afeyr so. well. hhhh.#i hope my paycheck isnt too bad. i think tips were pretty good recently so. maybe it wond be so bad. hhhh.#im tired of being stressed abt this stuff all the time. im really pissed at my sister rn too bc she just bought $40 worth of unnecessary #stuff. like. decor. while she still owes me $300 which i only lent bc it was for rent and i knew i wouldnt need it back for almost a month #but its been that time now and i need it back and instead of sensing it back she buys a $20 wall tapestry apparently #hhh. last yime i ever ever ever lend her money. im only gonna lend gas money bc i need her here soon. but she also needs to amde the trip #bc she has a card here to pickup. and theres several other reasons shes supposed to stop by. it shouldnt have to be my responsibility to #pay for that trip. hhhh.#im so glad i wont have to deal with her in a month

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piplupod · 2 years

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thank god i don't have to have my camera on for this class very often bc i am absolutely fuming and literally tearing up bc i am so upset and angry at these education resources for this stupid fucking class, it's about "self management" and "office etiquette" and theyre just so fucking shitty and stupid and awful. like. really fucking ableist and i know that's obvious but jesus christ. it's all such bullshit. i hate offices so much.

#let me just strip you of every ounce of personality and individuality so you become our perfect little drone!!!#no need for emotions here! if someone is being negative to you - just ignore it! don't be upset about it :)#make sure you make eye contact and read nonverbal cues! everyone can do that sooooo easily! shouldnt be a problem for our drones!#any body modifications relevant to your culture! cover those up! once again - zero individuality is allowed here!#you have to be the human personification of the colour white :) no no not beige. that's too racially significant! we must ALL be white :)#but we LOOOOVE diversity here and celebrate it! just as long as you are NT cishet white and boring :)#i'm so . fucking angry fhsdgdsgjkl nothing makes me upset faster than office etiquette bullshit fsdjgjkl #i want to leave class for the day so bad so i can go cry #i've already gotten today's assignment done anyways lol i finished it off before class even started #but. gotta keep up appearances. im trying to stay a day head #*a day ahead #but fhsdgjkl tomorrow's is the really shitty ableist assignments so fuck me i guess #i need to just dissociate hardcore and let my brain go into society drone-mode but god. it is very upsetting to do that #but this work needs to be done fhsdghsdghjkl fucking hell it is literally upsetting and potentially triggering to do this shit #because this like. relates back to some specific trauma and abuse i've gone through lmfao.#i wish i'd stayed dormant longer jsdjfkl #Nine would've hated this and Cal would've been upset but i think they'd be able to do it better than i can #especially Nine because he gets so angry JFSDFJKL he just powers through it so it gets done faster #okay im being embarrassing now sorry fsdfkl i will shut up and go attempt to work on this bullshit #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

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schizononagesimus · 3 months

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being in a family of other addicts is weird, i never really thought of it like that but us all being in town together for my graduation has just been like (ENABLES U) (ENABLES U) (ENABLES U)