#rpf

[oldbutchdanielcraig]

the point of rpf isn’t to concoct scenarios that are thinly veiled attempts to fuck the celebrities you like yourself. the point of rpf is to learn as much lore as is possible about the celebrities you like by whatever means necessary and use that information to craft scenarios that are wildly implausible but Technically could have happened. and then to chuckle about it. by the way

[wjsycamore-blog]

That's why I'm writing filthy rpf

"let men be friends" no they have to fuck each other raw

[proxissima]

Checking the political rpf tag on AO3 out of curiosity and... yeah, it’s looking exactly like expected lmao

[mangobabygirl]

Luigi Dating an Autistic Reader ♾️

A/N: This is pretty self-indulgent and based on my own experiences as an autistic person, obviously autism is a spectrum and it affects everyone differently!

-When you first told Luigi about your autism diagnosis, he was very patient and understanding. He told you he loved you because of your differences, not in spite of them.

-As soon as he got home, he read up on all the contemporary studies and articles about autistic women, scrolling through endless subreddits and Substack articles about dating on the spectrum.

-He loves how direct you are with him, how he doesn’t have to play mind games with you. He’s equally straightforward with you in return, telling you exactly how he’s feeling, what’s bothering him on a particular day, etc. It makes it very easy for you to open up to him.

-He’s always making sure your sensory needs are met. He’ll come home with different fidget toys for you to try, which end up scattered around the house in random places. Likes to buy you jewelry so you always have something to fidget with.

-If you go out, he makes sure you bring a pair of earplugs or noise-canceling headphones with you.

-Memorizes the recipes for all your safe foods and cooks them for you.

-You guys are both outfit repeaters! You love having consistent clothes that fit you just right and don’t cause any sensory issues or discomfort. Sometimes you’ll wear Luigi’s shirts for days on end; you love how they’re loose-fitting and smell just like him.

-Loves to hear you talk about your special interests! He loves the spark in your eyes, the way your hands gesture with vigor, the smile that lights up your face whenever you talk about whatever you’re fascinated with at the time. He’s not very materialistic but he’ll buy you books and paraphernalia related to whatever niche topic you’re obsessing over. (He’ll also talk your head off about whatever he’s currently fixated on, you both love yapping about your interests to each other!)

-He thinks it’s adorable when you stim. He smiles and chuckles whenever you flap your hands when you’re excited, or twiddle your fingers together, or repeat that Tik Tok sound you can’t get out of your head. He especially loves when you stim with him, tapping your fingers against his thigh, running your hands through his hair, or fidgeting back and forth with his FitBit.

-Learns your triggers and helps you handle unexpected changes in whatever way he can.

-He loves taking you on quiet dates in nature! When it’s just you, him, and the trees you feel all the tension and anxiety in your body melt away. It’s a sacred space where you don’t have to mask or worry about sensory overload and can truly just be yourself with him.

-Helps you whenever you’re having a meltdown. He turns down the lights, grabs your favorite stuffed animal or other preferred item, and practices breathing exercises with you. If you’re in public, he immediately leaves with you to go to a more isolated area nearby.

-He constantly reassures you he loves you and cares for you deeply. Straightforward verbal affirmations are your love language.

-Luigi loves you, and loves how you see the world differently than others.

[basket-of-loquats]

they’re yuri. to me

[confessionsdiaz]

Listen I do think everyone needs their little rpf pair. Even as a guilty pleasure or a "I have no actual belief in this" type thing. It's good for the soul

[loveinstreams]

"unauthorized biography" "unofficial biopic" that's a big budget rpf fanfiction if you ask me

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Can't. stop. thinking about Chris calling Sebastian, even after all these years, "pretty boy" and watching that man melt

[bizships]

Y’know… this is just Kate enough to almost be believable. 😂😂

How A Star Trek Convention Ended The World

Nervous Giggling Fan: So I have a question about Janeway and Chakotay?

Kate: *dully* You want to know why they didn’t hook up

NGF: Well….yes

Kate: Janeway couldn’t be taken seriously if she was having an affair. She was the first female captain in her child bearing years so….*sigh*…no Im so sorry dear but I can’t do this anymore. I know what you really want to ask. You all want to know if Robert and I had an affair. Right? Thats what you all have wanted to know! RIGHT!?!

Crowd: Adjsjasdhhffasdfgh YES!

Moderator: Maybe we should just move on to the next…

Kate: We Fucked! We copulated! We did it! We had sex! We had sex and you know what it was amazing!

Crowd: *stunned silence*

Moderator: Oh no.

Kate: We had sex multiple times! He really is in one of my top five to be frank! But then guess what? Señor Sexy didn’t want to settle down so we parted ways and that was that! We got over it! So should you!………..I need wine! *slumps back in her seat*

Robert: Top five? You’ve always been in my top three

Moderator: ….

Panel: …

NGF: …

Crowd: *girls burst into tears* *boys faint* *the earths floor opens up* *the sky falls* *the universe implodes*

Kate: *whips out her flask and starts chugging*

[constantpan1ic]

i mean, fuck, i like frerard, i like peterick, i like kellic, i like ryden, i like gay sex

[stardotnet]

(gif) (lyrics in order: another saturday by orca, i know the end by phoebe bridgers)

"I asked Patrick Stump this question, as well. Are you two forever intertwined because of that special chemistry you have as collaborators?"

"Yeah. I mean, I think so ... I do think we’re forever kind of connected, and we’re kind of kindred spirits as far as that goes. He’s always the person I can still call, and he just gets it."

(https://www.tumblr.com/propertyofzack/6824435705/pete-wentz-discusses-relationship-with-patrick)

[carsgonyommm]

I got so itchy I had to write something. I'm not sure where this is going but at least it's being fun to write!

"News flash, I've always been someone's soulmate, mate! You didn't seem to care a lot about it before." With his hands under Oscar's shirt, his tongue down Oscar's throat, sprawled between Oscar's legs. He doesn't say any of it aloud, the words prickling on the tip of his tongue. Carlos' cheeks are red, his mouth pinched, and Oscar knows it doesn't matter. "It wasn't the same before!" Carlos splutters, his hands fluttering through the air, frantic motions that slice the space between them.

[noheteroexplanation]

It's always "let women have close female friendships" and never "did you have fun with the yuri rpf?"

[itlw]

Gay Bar(k) - a Treebark Fanvid

[cardgamerz]

those new pics have me thinking really heavily about smoking…………so here’s somethin (keep in mind i have only ever taken a single puff of a cigarette so idfk how it works)

going outside to get some air during a party at some random influencer house

the back porch is empty, everyone is inside drinking or smoking weed or passed out on the couch

you’re finally regaining the ability to breathe when you hear the door slide open behind you

you startle, whipping around to see who’s disturbing your peace

it’s schlatt (of course it is)

you’d talked to him briefly at things like this before, but you’d never held a real conversation…and certainly never one-on-one

yet there he was, broad shouldered and tall, looming awkwardly in the doorway

“uh…sorry. is it okay if i chill out here for a sec? it’s…loud in there.”

you KNOW it’s loud in there. that was why you’d come outside in the first place.

you sigh. “yeah, yeah, just…shut the door, would you?”

he complies, scrambling out onto the porch and sliding the door shut a little more forcefully than strictly necessary.

for a moment, an awkward silence blankets the both of you.

“so…uh…you smoke?”

you shoot him a sidelong glance at the question, then shake your head. “not really. sometimes, just for fun.”

“really? how d’you survive at these things, then? i feel like everyone is always smoking inside.”

“i dunno, i just suck it up. and go outside when i start coughing too much.”

“oh. that makes sense.”

he fidgets a little.

“so…would you mind if i smoked a cig out here? it’s fine if you do, i won’t be mad or anything.”

you turn to face him at that, your face contorting in confusion.

“since when do you smoke cigarettes??”

he shrugs sheepishly. “i don’t do it that often…just to take the edge off every once in a while.”

you stare at him incredulously for a second, then sigh again. “sure, whatever, just don’t…blow smoke at me, or whatever.”

he chuckles in response, then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

he fumbles with them, pulling one out of the box and placing it between parted lips before slipping the box back into his pocket.

you watch, mesmerized, as he flicks his lighter a couple of times before a flame ignites.

he lifts it to the tip of his cigarette, holding it there for a moment before letting it burn out. he flips the lighter shut and places it back in his pocket.

he reaches up takes a long, slow drag, then pulls it away from his mouth and exhales out, away from your face.

for some reason, your eyes are glued to it. he notices.

“what? you want one?”

you jump a little, feeling slightly caught.

“i’ve never actually smoked a cigarette before…”

his head cocks to the side like a confused dog. “really? huh.”

he considers it for a moment.

“wanna try?”

you hesitate, but against your better judgement…you nod.

he holds out his already-lit cigarette to you. “here, try it.”

you stare at his outstretched hand.

“i don’t have COOTIES, you’ll be fine, jeez.”

you take the cigarette.

tentatively, you lift it to your mouth. you can feel the lingering warmth of his own as you close your lips around it.

you can feel him watching you intently. not wanting to disappoint, you inhale, allowing the smoke to coat your airways.

ew.

it tastes gross, much grosser than weed.

you exhale, coughing a bit as you do.

he laughs at your reaction.

“that is GROSS, dude. why on earth would you willingly do that??”

he just smiles at you, gaze lingering on your pursed lips.

“it’s fun. maybe you’re just too stuck up.”

“hey!!! not cool.”

you lift the smoldering stick of DEATH up for him to take, but instead of plucking it from your fingers…

he leans down. and takes a drag of it while it’s still in your hands.

you gawk wordlessly.

what the hell?

he straightens again, then turns away and exhales smoke again.

your face warms. you refuse to dwell on why.

he swivels back around and catches sight of your face, then laughs at you again. you feel like that’s all he seems to be doing.

“you should see yourself right now. you look so mad, it’s cute.”

with that, he takes the forgotten cigarette from your hands, then drops it and steps on it until it’s just an unlit heap among the rest of the garbage out back.

“see you inside.”

he winks, then retreats back into the house without looking back.

you watch him leave, at a loss for words.

what on EARTH was that?????

fin.