#kicking and screaming this whole way. man i dont think i even own an ironing board. gonna have to hang the shit up and hope for the best

[orcelito]

Bought a stupid suit thing. Disgustang.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Ya know, I truly hope Miss Renesmee Carlie Cullen fully dedicates herself to just....being as out there and iconic as possible

first things first- ANYTHING with the loch ness monster on it, she owns. Posters, shirts, jackets, shoes, folders, buttons, iron-ons, there is always at least 5 pieces of Nessie merch on her at all times

once she gets old enough to start high school, the cover story is her and Edward are siblings that Carlisle and Esme took in, and sometimes her classmates will ask her what her biological parents were like and she will flat out be like 'oh, they're vampires' and Edward and Bella are like. 5 feet away trying not to scream

every Halloween she'll show up to school in an elaborate Nosferatu costume

goes out of her way to photobomb people in increasingly ridiculous ways so there will Always be a photographic record of her and in like 100 years she can get a huge kick out of teens on the internet trying to make a conspiracy about her

joins as many school clubs as she can, even if she has no interest in them- she just Really wants a concrete record of herself to exist lmao

ICONIC at school theater though. One of those demon theater kids that come to rehearsal purely to cause chaos and nothing else, but her voice is incredible so she secures every lead. One time she somehow managed to star in a show while also playing in the school band for it- her classmates still have no idea how she pulled it off

Always brings blood out in public in a CLEAR THERMOS and it stresses her family out so much but everyone else thinks she's just like, weirdly into tomato juice so the Cullens can't stop her

to everyone's surprise...her biggest chaos enabler is Jasper lmao. everyone thought he'd be a logical, responsible uncle but they're just. A Problem together. He'll 100% assist her in any prank she wants to pull, he gets her fake id's when she wants to sneak into a club with friends, he bails her out of jail without telling her parents, they figured out if she gets high and he reads her feelings he'll get high too and it's. So fucking funny.

she's always carrying some random instrument around school- like for a while it's a guitar or a harmonica, fine, but then she'll start lugging a cello around, a tuba (she doesn't even play, she stole it off a guy who was annoying her) and it escalates until one day she's wheeling a piano around the building. no one's even sure how she got in in the doors of the school. She keeps running kids over in the hallway with it

You know the Catherine Tate Lauren Cooper skit with David Tennant? Where she's being a terrible student and then perfectly recites Shakespeare? 100% Nessie

when she starts getting dates Jacob keeps trying to wing man and be over supportive and give her a ton of girl advice and it's embarrassing as hell so one day when he was on a spiel about How To Woo A Lady she looks him in the eyes and goes 'oh really? did that work on my mom?' and the Cullens fucking LOSE IT. Jacob had to go live in the woods for a few days because he couldn't cope

Emmet and Jasper: arrive to school in their jeep. Rose and Alice: arrive in a convertible. Edward: arrives in his dumb volvo. Bella and Jake: arrive to school on motorcycles. Nessie: arrives to school on a unicycle while juggling

one year she ended up getting nominated for prom queen and Edward read the minds of the teachers tallying the votes so he knew she won and he and Bella were so excited!! they're like we're gonna take so many pictures of our baby looking like a princess! And then she emerges from her room, actually drenched in pigs blood. Like she just did it to herself and went to the dance and accepted her crown like that

she regularly commits crimes against fashion. If she comes out of her room and sees Alice contemplating turning herself over to the Volturi, she KNOWS she's picked a great look

somehow gets ahold of Aro's cell number and sends him selfies of her blatantly breaking vampire laws captioned 'whatcha gonna do'. he keeps blocking her but she keeps managing to get through to him somehow

she illegally sells soda out of her locker and does people's homework for cash, while also paying other people to do her homework for her. she organizes every single senior prank. she's never gotten a detention in her whole immortal life because every teacher just Adores her for some reason

had 100% used her powers for deserved evil before. Like, if someone's being a dick at school, she'll sneak into their room at night and give them nightmarea threatening them to be a better person lol

sometimes she'll show up at the hospital unannounced and ask Carlisle, in front of his coworkers, 'yo can I raid the blood bank?'

her bedroom looks like a library. every wall, floor to ceiling books.

she's been publishing trashy romance novels under a fake name for almost 40 years now and no one in her family knows

one birthday Jacob takes her on a trip to vegas and they get wasted, at some point they were laughing about how ridiculous their lives are and they're like 'wouldn't it be fucking hilarious if we had a baby'. they then black out, hangover style, and wake up like a week later with a payment on her card to a fertility clinic. Jacob's like 😱 and Ness is just like 'you get to be the one to explain this to my parents'

Their kid is absolutely hilarious, they were correct, and at some point they realized 'wait...drinks blood..doesn't sparkle...can shape shift...we've somehow created a classic pop culture vampire' lmao

Edward had to threaten them to get them to not name the kid Vladimir

Also to be clear: Nessie and Jacob have the EXACT same dynamic as Will and Grace. that's canon.

says its her goal to star in a live action all female production of mamma mia and Carlisle is like 'honey you know you can't do anything on broadway or in hollywood' and she's like, 'no, in real life. I'm gonna go to greece and attract a bunch of women with abba songs' and he's like,,,,,ah

she loves all music but she goes out of her way to Only play stuff she knows Edward hates lmao

one day she remembers she doesn't need to breathe and can see under water and just. books herself a ticket to scotland and Finds The Loch Ness Monster

she actually personally finds a lot of monsters and cryptids like her hybrid aura just attracts all kind of weird shit and she LOVES it. She stops writing trashy romance novels and starts writing autobiographies of her traveling and hanging out with paranormal beings and everyone just assumes its fiction so she becomes a best selling fantasy author lmao

100% she's very into witchy stuff and only like...half in a trendy way. She's like what if on top of everything I've got going on I can cast spells? Think I deserve that power

when she's a couple decades old she catches Edward looking grossed out one day and she asks him what's up and he's like 'I really dont need to hear what creepy teachers think about my daughter' and she's like. oh. Dad we are gonna get SO MANY pedophiles arrested shdndjdn she gets him to expose teachers and she baits them then calls the police. queen.

She finds out she can get tattoos but they fade completely out of her skin within 5 years so she's always getting crazy tats

posts selfies on social media of her just like. hanging out with mountain lions or chilling on top of the space needle. her classmates think they're all photoshopped obvi but it drives her family insane

imagine you're 15 and you're on a nice hike in the woods and you come across your one classmate half naked, sacrificing a bear in some ritual, blood dripping down her face, bigfoot chilling on the rocks behind her filming the ritual on her phone...like on one hand, what would you do, but on the other hand. you've known this girl for a bit and you aren't surprised at all

anyway. stan Nessie Cullen.

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 28-29, 2019 // the bonny scot

posting this a day later than normal because this is one of the rare episodes that shows a passage of time from one day to the next yayy love that for them

-wonder what filming these beginning sexy scenes is like for them in real life

-sooooo can lucy see nancys sexy dream? is she judging? does this mean she likes nancy with owen or nick more? or is she trying to tell nancy that her sex dreams are irrelevant to the mystery at hand and she needs to focus?

-seeing people in the ✨prison chair✨: gomber, carson, karen (voting for josh s3 just saying)

-completely ignores carson's question about herself typical nance

-"or maybe i did stumble across a knife" its like hes trying to make the case against him look plausible while attempting to maintain innocence. this is a slippery slope for carson to try and encourage her to keep her pacified + hide the truth while also trying to keep her from getting involved bc hudsons

-"genetics gets you in the door" aaaaand then she walks in to everetts office to meet him and crashes their family dinner

-ok who tf is dawn and why is she in charge here

-this guidance counselor of nicks is my favorite person

-"i admire your allergy to pleasantries" bess and nancy both have reveals to big families but nancy does not have the graceful, accepting reveal to her rich family like bess does at this lunch. nancys reveal is messy, cold, bloodstained and sticky-fingered, not nice in any way whatsoever. and this little chat with everett (bit of a parallel to lucy's) just highlights how nancy is always bad at bargaining with her grandparents*- always trying to fight on their level but giving up her equal hand bc she doesnt know how to hide it when they bring up something she doesnt know. like confronting celia at the masque: she was so confident with her theory and what she knew, but then we got a "what does that mean?" like. the instant you say that, you lose. and she walked right into the "yes i do have someone, hes in jail" 🤦🏼‍♀️ even in the car with ryan at the end of s1, he literally just fucking leaves her there. like 🤷🏼‍♀️ what did u think was gonna happen sis?? for all she can predict how past things lead to present circumstances shes fucking awful at seeing the direct future *(grandparents except for patrice bc her dementia makes her inaccessable)

-lmaooooo this awko ass portrait...i get the empty space is for nance but who on earth thought this was a good pic??

-LISBETH 🥺💙

-"will u help the claw for me?" george struggles financially to keep her livelihood while nancy is somehow shown as being taken care of even when her parent is incarcerated; both nancy and george live in single parent homes now with mention of both medical debt and george being breadwinner yet nancy has no struggles while george does. (i wonder if ryan had been able to help george here how the story would have changed)

-"when it comes to following people around without their knowledge or consent i am somewhat of a repeat offender" 😂😂😂

-"he wasnt endgame after all" BESS lmaoooo

-"...okay." lmaoooo i fuckin love owen

-i was hoping the girls' faces would be more shocked like with a glance to owen but they just....werent

-"we're the good guys" <---- this statement is soooo interesting in terms of how they structure the show and how the characters see themselves (its an interesting contrast with the more definitive good vs evil with things that are both clearly good and clearly evil but theres also a lot of moral grey area here, the show is kinda swamped in it. are nancy and crew the good guys? are they the bad guys in someone else's story? concerns.)

-"i'd call it more than just stuff" like why did u concede that??? and then the shit about oof that didnt sound like a compliment lmaoooooo why does she suck at arguing?? she and owen wouldnt work long term bc theyre so similar (as mentioned later on)

-i LOVE george slowly falling in love with nick here- hence how upset she gets when nick bails on her for nancy later (which is totally justified!!!)

-i am LIVING for the little nod this driver guy gives bess when she turns back around all nervous 😂

-"i do like buying things" i would so say that too tbh

-"you'd have plenty to talk about" LMFAOOOOOOO SHE KNOWS "marvins dont marry drivers" so diana is totally fine with the gay its just the poor she has a problem with 😂💙fuckin love that

-love how nancy just casually ruins everything for nick/george lmaooo

-"i have seen you at your best, nancy, and there is nothing like it." 🥴😳 i love this still-in-love look nancy gives him thats so strong he had to change the subject

-so is haunting time 11 pm? from that clock of bashiir's?

-how do NO neighbors notice this fucking water and shit

-these are TOTALLY AWFUL fake screams from the bonny scot crew 😭

-"i know well enough not to get involved when he's in play" both carson and ryan avoid engaging with everett even though nancy is willing to do so armed with less info and more balls/ but "could i trust him" and ryan says yes lmaooooo NO honey + that makes ryan 0/2 for helping the girls when they ask this ep

-"find a project of your own" and he does, with his youth center 🙏🏻💙 what s2 foreshadowing!

-"god i wish i still drank" 😂😂😂

-"she is darling." 💙👌🏻

-okay wtf is mirror bay??

-i really wonder about the extent of celia x sebastians relationship here. did she truly care about him or was it just secret and exciting sex? also would love more hints of diana vs celia moments like these. celia doesnt even look upset. i mean shes had time to deal but like wtf. and who exactly is sebastian to diana? not her husband? like damn what if he was. somehow i doubt she'd talk about him diddling celia if diana was disrespected also

-i wonder if celia being so invested in dna testing nancy was bc everrett dna tested ryan to make sure he was his bc of sebastian / other men (which would be totally valid on his part!! but wouldnt it be funny as fuck if ryan wasnt his 😂)

-what a neat hiding place in this frame lmaooo who put that in for them tho? like how do u go about ordering that

-"you certainly are your fathers daughter" this quote is doubly ironic and foreshadowy bc theyre referencing carson here as being a useful hudson attaché but nancy is playing everett just like ryan played celia about putting his house up (but TRIPLY ironic bc carson pulls off the long con of hiding nancy from the hudsons right under their noses this whole time!) the one time nancy is successful against them

-that bess/lisbeth look while lisbeth does something badass (+diana reassessing now that lisbeth has been revealed to be useful)

-"almost as fun as a real fight" why do i believe him? lmaoooo a bit weird that he would enjoy a fight w a partner, but i also think this is an acknowledgement of nancy being an "opponent" who exists at his level. but i also love the "let me take you out" as a direct mirror of her relationship with nick, where she avoids the public acknowledgment/"going out" but prefers the more subtle/hidden arrangements of staying in. but as shown with later eps, owen is way more capable of meeting nancy where shes at, which is so important to her + the only way of getting close to nancy. (the only foil is ace who somehow is able to do both)

-"not always about a guy" <---- this could have been such a powerful statement if the show had thought having nancy end up alone/choose herself instead of pitting her between love interests (nick, owen, gil, even potentially ace, in only 2 seasons) was a more worthy stance to take ; as an aro/ace person i cant tell you how much i would kill to see just one female protag choose herself over a man. and its more realistic to end up alone than have a happy ending anyway, for all that these shows try to be as "real" and gritty grimdark as possible

-"is that what you want?" this is an interesting question to his mother- like maybe he senses her unhappiness? combined with his issues with his father- still trying to look out for his mom? either way it's sweet. (it could also potentially work as foreshadowing of something happening to her, but i think that was played with but then diverted when it was revealed who really killed her) "i think its time i steer this ship" still kind of patriarchal tho. i get that its him coming into his own as a dad technically but still. i also like how he calls her "mother" and not mom

-love that old white people thumbs up at george asking about his clams 👍🏻

-okay fuck dawn tho lmfaoooo

-"stressful dinner huh?" 😂 i fucking love lisbeth so much why didnt they bring her back (wouldnt it be Fucking Hilarious if they brought lisbeth back to bounce bess on her expired visa since the marvins kicked her out and didnt fix it lmaoooooo)

-BESS IS A TOP lmaooooooo i fuckin knew it

-nick says "you can pay me back" wonder if thats gonna come back in s3 considering their "marital problems" (also, those bonds are sosus lmfaoooo if any single person cashing those was looked at sideways they'd confess in 2 seconds that some random guy is handing out bearer bonds they dont even make anymore with absolutely zero proof as to how he got them)

-"you wanna finish what you started?" 👀 (dont mind if i do)

-"i need my dad back" parallels s2 when she asks him to come home

-parent politics: "you are taking your life in your hands / no, i'm putting it in yours" vs "i know well enough not to get involved when hes in play" both carson and ryan try to dissuade nancy from pursuing her pulling this con on everett but go about it different ways: carson is wildly concerned with nancys physical wellbeing but ryan appears to be leaning more towards weighing the odds for her/ like a "you cant win so cut your losses/dont try" scenario which interestingly might have more weight with nancy; its easy for her to brush aside carson's worrying like second nature but nancy has been established to be a determined winner, and ryan speaks to her here like shes a beginners luck prodigy at a blackjack table by encouraging her to keep her record clean by not dealing in this next round. of course she herself admits shes incapable of not dealing in ie "you know me better than that" but i have lots more thoughts on how effective ryans approaches to nancy can be sometimes (saving for the reveal ep 🙏🏻)

-wonder what all carson knows about the hudsons? + that look on his face when he hangs up... wonder if he was just lying to her about knowing anything or just ashamed at having to admit bad things hes done for them

-love nick & bashiir waiting together 🙏🏻💙+ nicks very strong and pointed "good night" as a means of ending his convo w nancy on his terms (gotta reinforce those boundaries man!)

and lastly

-celia + that gossip girl moment when she just throws the whole phone away 😂(wonder if she was just talking to "gus" or whoever that guy was. keep forgetting the bobbseys' dad is in prison too, wonder if he'll feature in s3)

[irkenheretic]

okay i promised id do it and im doing it: Explaining The Plot Of That AU I’m Vague About: The Post

(as i was preparing to write this i actually got my 250th follower, which slapped)

so i’m just gonna start with the simple version, which is this: it’s a rebel AU which primarily centers around the tallest, who are both defective. they give up on trying to make any meaningful changes as figureheads, and instead direct their attention to being involved with the “neo defect revolution,” or NDR. they do manage to make one change as tallest- there is a garbage dump planet turned into a sanctuary for defectives (who in this au are executed once discovered,) and eventually enough of the populace finds out about it that the tallest have to deal with it. they finesse their way into kicking it out of the empire, so now it’s its own planet with its own rules, governments, and most importantly, immigration policies and protections

a lot of stuff happens and it’s gonna be structured using arcs, and each arc has a separate protagonist/deuteragonist/tritagonist lineup (but that doesnt mean the same lineup won’t be used multiple times!) and yes the insane list of OCs are for this au alone: some arcs are very OC-centric, some have OCs as supporting characters, and a couple are all-OC or mostly-OC. 

its going to be very longform and it’ll span from the tallest’s elite training days to twenty years after zim arrives on earth. (the 20 year gap btwn zim arriving on earth and the story proper isnt as tightly plotted as later tho.) the point is to see how a revolution on the scale of the NDR works, who was fucked over by defact laws, who was fucked over by other laws, etc. theres a lot of lore and a lot of headcanons i made for this AU and even a conlang. i am a being of hubris. itll be a series of fics, some multichapter and some oneshots. 

the series as a whole is gonna be called Invader Zim: Annexed or just Annexed for short. its a pun on an irken word that sounds similar but means the exact opposite. i am not explaining more bc itll be explained in the fic itself. but thats why the tag for it is #anx lmao

i didnt mean for this to be as long as it got but under the cut im gonna breakdown some of the early arcs:

so it all starts with a fanfic called Love Is The H-Word (no the “h-word” isn’t “hell.) it centers around red and purple as elites-in-training, who do a little whoopsie and have an egg. purple doesnt wanna smuggle it into a smeetery, bc then he’ll never see it again, so they go to the defect sanctuary (still a part of the empire at this point.) purple knows he’s defective while red has a hard time accepting that he is as well, due to events from his past. but being around all these other defects are starting to wear down his denial, and the fic is all about that. it also sets up some plot stuff, like how defects adopted a self-identifier in the word “heretic,” hence the sanctuary being named, “heretirk.” (hey look my url!) (no, the “h-word” is not heretic, either.) 

i dont wanna say what happens in that fic bc spoilers, but stuff Happens. its also when we meet some ocs that end up being important, and the existence of others are foreshadowed. this is also where we meet the tallests’ future advisor, rarl kove, for the first time, as a local who decides to keep them company. purple bonds with kove due to their shared interest in politics, while red reluctantly bonds with titch, a young irken (a smeet in heretirken standards, an adult in imperial standards- did i mention he and red are roughly the same age? lol) who is interested in military stuff and thrill-seeking and general destruction. titch is pissed because he claims his father is stealthing on devastis as a military commander, but won’t let titch sneak in as a soldier, as titch is deaf. 

(fun facts: in the au, “titch” is regional slang for “a little bit.” ironically, titch the character is above-average in height.)

due to titch’s deafness, he developed “gesturespeak,” irken sign language, so he can communicate. this existing becomes important later

a oneshot called invade the system is right after h-word in publishing order. it details zim’s exploits in leaving foodcourtia, where he was assigned and infiltrating the invading academy he eventually graduates from (in this au, zim is too short to be an invader, which sucks because the hight minimums for the military are really short to begin with lmao)

the fic chronoligically after H-Word focuses on red and purple being back in their platoon on devastis, specifically red navigating his training and his relationships with two defective platoonmates, pon and zi (who are in h-word a little,) after the realization that he too is defective. it also focuses on how the irken military works, and how they train their soldiers. 

the first arc overall focuses on red and purple going thru training and such, and ends after they graduate and are on the field, working to get commander rank. (they planned to gain commander rank then leave and go back to heretirk to train an army there, as heretirk has.... no army.) in the middle of this, they’re pulled out and told they are to become the next tallest. they debate over staying and taking the job or just running to heretirk, and they ultimately decide to stay.

the next arc i call the “bridge,” tbh. its less tightly plotted than the other arcs; fics are spread apart from each other chronologically and all that. it spans the time after the tallest being appointed to a little after zim arrives on earth. it also has a couple of anthologies focusing on imperial defects- each chapter is a new character. these guys are all important and the easiest way for me to introduce their backstories without cluttering everything up is anthology style, lmao. other things that happen are a look into how the tallest work, eventually culminating with the resolution of the tallest having to Deal With Heretirk, tenn’s rescue from meekrob, and zim on earth obtaining a half-irken smeet named pip due to stealing an Unethical Science Experiment from dib (which is pip.) the bridge is basically just. “heres some stuff that happens between point A and point B so when we get to point B you’re not confused as all hell.” 

the next arc focuses on zim. in the first fic, pip is sick and zim is trying to get into his neighbor’s pants, to cope. this basically sets up that zim in this au has no idea how to find personal fulfillment in living- he’s only OK if he focuses on pleasing someone else, be it taking care of pip or doting on the neighbor, some rando human named piqu (pronounced, “peek.”) this is mainly a cute romance story with the underlying veneer of “a child is slowly and painfully dying” in the background. fun! 

without spoiling the circumstances, zim and pip end up on heretirk, which at this point is its own independent planet. pip is in the hospital for most of it so zim has to do his own thing. computer fans rejoice bc hes basically zims dad at this point, who tells him to go outside and get some fresh air and talk to the locals instead of schmooping or screaming in anxiety. im sneakily introducing more characters like ini, the “next-gen zim;” a short bio-engineer (she works on PAKs) who was constantly passed over by everyone because they dont trust someone that short or they dont trust someone that spazzy, even though shes actually brilliant. also her brother mo, who’s a pilot that NOBODY will teach military-class ships to (at this point, HTK has a population of ex-military that had their old ships, but still no formal army) because he doesnt talk and they think hes “slow” as a result. for the curious, he is physically able to talk most times, he just doesnt like it. zim ends up teaching him how to fly military-class which ends up being important laterrr

(haha ini and mo. wheres meenie and minie? ILL GET TO THEM)

no really, theyre quadruplets. named ini, myni, minie, and mo. these are real characters. 

minie isnt introduced till later. shes too cool to be the side character in someone elses arc. she is feel uncomfortable when we are not about her.

myni is busy palling around with pip and pip’s friend “elly” (real name elevenn, with two N’s.) elly is a half-meekrob War Crime Baby and tenn’s smeet. he has vision problems (he can “see” energy signatures of things, as opposed to conventional sight. everything is monochrome and he has to really focus to see like, words on a paper. also fuck tablets) but the trade-up is telekinetic powers (that he cant use too much or his brain will melt. fun!) this isnt relevant until the arc AFTER zim’s, where they end up poking around a historical site due to myni’s interest in that kind of thing, and they find logs of an old revolution (that was actually pretty successful in their goal, before they were caught and executed,) that lead them to a man named lefy. he helps with revolutions and helped these guys, and the trio go to seek him out; myni because he wants to impress his parents with helping them, pip because after they’ve recovered enough to walk around and do stuff, feel like they need to justify the choice to save their life and make their dad proud and all that, elly because he doesnt want pip to get hurt and die. And thats where the stuff REALLY starts happening and i cant tell u more sorry

this seemed kind of disjointed but thats bc i cant really be too detailed otherwise id like.... spoil it lmfao. but thats the summary of the first few arcs.

[gayspock]

dont rb, dont rply

having another fucking crisis at 4am . scream-crying into pillows bc im lonely. throwing up over breakdowns. whats new in the world.  whats new. i think i want to try and drown myself in the bathtub maybe and see if that unlocks some new fucking emotion. like its ironic!!!! ironic becoming sick of the monotony has become part of the monotony. fucking getting so agitated u try and freak out on purpose, on the whim that at least it will be a Different Flavour of Upset..... yet eve that becomes part of the normal..... like im..... okay............. i feel myself fucking losing my fucking Mind once more it appears. it so seems perhaps. i fucking cant take it maybe. yet again so funnily enough.i know damn well nobody not even myself has taken me seriously for years by this Point & i can pledge suicide all i wish but we all know the truth is that i end up having a panic attack last second bc im too pussy and then end up. right back where i started having breakdown after breakdown. writing stupid shite in notebooks and on here in an attempt to find some fucking catharsis but ultimately ending back to the cycle of almost but haha unless as i fucking lose all sense of it AGAIN and AGAIN and for YEARS and for YEARS . i still have old writing  and shit somewhere the same fucking sobbing nonsense abt how i cant take it any more and its all years old shit freom back when i was 14 abt how i dont want to do it any more, abt how i couldnt take it any more, how it had been YEARS then and its just more and more years now and more and more shitty situation how it doesnt get better how ive just been even more of a failure how ive fucked up everything even more how im ALONE even more now how  ive done nothing in the years since but grow more numb and more upset and more tired in ways i was so scared of becoming and then i get back to the god. why dont u kill urself shite again why cant you just fucking quit it and its all such pathetic bullshite yaknow just hot air coming out of some stupid cunt thats like. sustaining so much trouble off of a very simple reality which is “it really would just be better off if you were dead, bro”  rather than making everyone sick and tired of it, rather than CONTINUING to be just a nuisance to everyone, rather than continuing to just fucking make yourself even more miserable and endure all of this when nothings ever going to be worth it especially not hehe YOU, but no im quite frankly full of myself nad have to keep fucking twisting it . have to keeep fucking clinging onto the hope that someday someone or something might save me and maybe i DID have some worth after all even though i know i dont i know i really really dont and its a hard dont  but im being a fucking baby because despite it being a hard dont i just dont want it you know i dont want to keep thinking about how its all just That. its all just that and its all always just that and im sick of fucking. hearing some shit sometimes with regards to it and its like. the cycle of [redacted] shit kicks in , getting infuriated with yourself in longwinded arguments ,  and its all so laden with stupid hypocrisy and garbage and layers upon layers of fucking . self-absorbed  discourse with my own stupid self thats all spaghetti like yet ive covered all of it ive went round and round and round for, again, years and YEARS and again its all so fucking stupid because . i dont know i think. im a little. its very patronising when people try to say certain things and i Shant be too much of a little brat about it im going to shut my yap Again but also i SHANT shant because god if it isnt . nightmarish like YOU know the. YOU know what i mean god Fuck man i hate. the whole idea that its irrational sometimes i hate the way its just. but i really need to Shut up        i think because . literally dont i ever tire of running my mouth potentially not i think but you know the vibe of. what else. you know. like. you run out of everything like what else why dont i just fucking fuck it all up and set it all ablaze which is ahorrendously edgy thought that ive not entertained in a while because im not 16 any more but its very enticing each time you meet the end of the rope (or, rather: realise you were in a haze again, and youve just been here the whole FUCKING time- AGAIN!) that it would be nice to just fuck it all up, the very pathetic scraps you have left for yourself, like just fucking torch the maybe not  bridges but the excuses for bridges that you have like just rip apart the very tiny pathetic remnants of YOU because wouldnt that just be .... something. you knoww. at least SOMETHING. after having clung onto them to the point wherte youre sick and you hate them and you hate yourself for how the most you can ever muster is still so fucking alarmingly pathetic that it just makes you so angry and upset u just want to burn it all down because you dont want to cope with it any more. do you know what i mean. i wish it wasnt like that sometimes i wish i could do something right and i wish there was one thing that i could manage that i was genuinely happy with but it appears this train of thought has reminded me once moreof the Bottom line which is ultimately it all just makes me so fucking miserbalee and i dont want to be alive very very much i think because im never going to be enough for anyone ever and  i dont know whyor whats wrong with me or why i cant do anyhting fucking right but i cant and im so so sick of trying im so so sick of JUST being a fucking failure and having nothing else to hold onto but some . pathetic manufactured pipedream that maybe one day i wont be a fail at something and maybe one day i might do something right that wont make me burst into tears like thats supposed to be a comforting notion in any regard like thats the only fucking thing i have to cling to well i dont fucking want to GOD fuck shit 

[otomriddle]

idk if u have a prompt list so sorry if you do but could u please write a a tombrax argument that results in both of them saying hurtful stuff they dont mean, and both of them shedding tears, angst + comfort at the end tysm btw, i absolutely love ur blog, ur an amazing writer !

Waaaathanks! You guys make my day when you like the completely silly stuff I write

-

Tom pushed the door of our guest’s bedroom forcefully,making it hit the opposing wall with a loud bang.

“What the fuck do you think you are doing?” I nearlyscreamed, following him with large steps. I could feel my face burning up withrepressed anger.

“I am leaving this hell hole. You can keep your pretty mansion andobnoxious family to yourself. God knows you deserve each other.” He answered,pacing around, throwing clothes from the wardrobe into an old black suitcase -his suitcase.

“You are leaving because of one shittycomment my father made at supper? He was just jesting, Tom.” I replied, walking to the suitcase and pullingthe clothes he had just thrown there back into the bed. “Stop being such achild and man up! You’re already twenty-three years old, for fucks sake.”

Tom went inside the connected bathroom, ignoring both myactions and my words. He resurfaced again, in his hands a little bag that hetossed inside the suitcase as well. He sent a look to the bed, where I had gatheredhis clothes, and sighed heavily.

“It’s my life, Abraxas. If I want to act as a seven yearsold or as a seventy years old is up to me, and believe it, this,” he said,pointing at his own self “this is me being fucking mature.” 

Tom walked to the bed, throwing once again his clothesinto the suitcase. I could feel the blood rushing through my ears, the angerand fear pushing me to the edge.

“Youinsulted my whole family and know you just want to leave? Without trying tounderstand my father, or even apologize?” I asked, passing my hand through myhair. Tom was back at the wardrobe, his back at me.

“Youwant me to apologize?” Although I could not see his face, I could hear thesarcasm on his words. “A Malfoy would be a Minister before that happened.”

“Why do you have to be such a drama queen about everything,uhu?” This time I shouted, kicking the bed. “Father didn’t say any lies, afterall, you are a goddamn mudblood.”

I knew then and there I had done the unforgivable. Ofcourse we all know that unspoken rule. We all know that when you get to knowsomeone – really know someone - you have the privilege of learning about theirworst insecurities but, in exchange for this trust, you cannot use those sameinsecurities to hurt them. Doesn’t matter how angry or upset you are, there arecertain boundaries – certain words –you just don’t use. But I just had.

Tom stopped moving, one shirt hanging in his hand ashe slowly turned to face me. Although I knew I had broken his trust and trespassedboundaries, I was still too high on my anger to care. All I had wanted was tohurt him, deeply; and by the look on his face, I succeeded.

“Yes, I am nothing but a mudblood. Isn’t it all themore ironic that I’m still a way better wizard than you can ever dream to be,Abraxas? All this money, all this bloodwasted on someone so astoundingly useless.” He told me, a smirk opening on hisface as he, undoubtedly, saw the hurt on mine.

“You should leav-“ I tried to say, but the last wordgot caught on my throat. I could feel the prick of the unshed tears, so Iturned my back to him, looking outside the window instead. It was a pleasantnight – a bright half-moon showering in light the wide garden, all the wayuntil the forest a few miles away.

“That is precisely what I’ve been trying to do, ifonly the bare minimum boy here would let me.” Tom mumbled, and I could hear hisshifting behind me that indicated he had started packing again.

“Have a nice trip back to your home,” I say, hiding my face – my crying face – with a hand as Ipassed him. “That’s how you call that little orphanage, right?

As I said that line, going as low as I could possiblego, I already knew full well I would regret it later. But I was still unable tostop myself. Unable to stop my pride.

I wouldn’t see Tom for another four years.

[impossiblerebelblaze]

Jus gon scream for a min

Heads up: it’s 2am and I’m juiced on espresso, and I don’t have encyclopedic knowledge of the mcu

First off: Endgame was pretty good! It was a good watch, although I couldn’t see a lot thru my tears

Okay okay so my BIG issue is the characters. They all felt pretty watered down.

The Hulk/Bruce combo didn’t play very well, I think it would’ve been better if he could control both sides a bit better (ie, more Bruce for smart, more Hulk for strength. Keep the fun Ragnarok side of Hulk. He’s a character too)

Thor.... well, he was there. I get the out-of-shape depression spiral, but it felt somewhat forced and like they were using his weight for a comedy factor (bad). He didn’t really fight... and the one big fight at the end, he was upstaged at his own game by Cap. I mean yeah, it was cool to see someone else wielding Mjolnir, but he really just replaced Thor in the scene imo.

I didn’t mind Tony too much tbh, his death was sad and upsetting, but it was done about right. There wasn’t much other way to do it, and it was heartwarming to see the father/son moment with him and Peter. Although my main beef was that they threw out his ptsd from New York, he had NO reaction to being in the SAME battle that gave him those issues to begin with. Iron man 3 who?? We don’t know her anymore I guess

Even Thanos himself?? Sucked more than usual?? He made a good antagonist in IW because he was so impersonal. He didn’t hate anyone he was fighting, and he held himself at the same cosmic standard as everyone else in the universe. But endgame?? He’s just a Bastard! He really just turned around like ‘oh look at these fucking clowns, time to Die’ like come on he was a good villain and you ruined him.

The whole plot was a little bizarre, and it felt kinda cheap. Ant man really brought back because of a rat?? Dam sis. Time travel?? I mean that was about the only way to fix it anyway, but it felt like they wrote themselves into a corner. I loved seeing the old movies again though!! That was funky fresh and well done. Seeing familiar scenes from different angles was good. But the time travel felt really.... basic. Like there weren’t any consequences. You did a test run and yeah it went funky but not WRONG, and then everything worked fine. And then oh look! More charges to travel thru time more.

Also, we didn’t see anything original from the Infinity stones, other than when thanos used the power stone to fuckin deck Carol. That was basically it, if not completely. I really thought that each of the avengers was gonna take control of one stone each, and have a fun family beatdown on thanos.

Speaking of carol, she was basically just a plot device. Comes and saves tony (expected, still nice to see) and she just up and leaves. Then she comes back at the end to kick thanos’s ass and lead the other girls (GIRLS WERE GOOD DONT GET ME WRONG)

Okay that’s about all the bitching I had,, thank you for listening to my essay and next week we’ll be reviewing a rewrite of the whole plot (lie, it’ll take longer than that)