#todd luke

[tiabwwtws-art]

I like to think that the captain of the cruise ship is a version of Home who became the world the current Home is struggling in. Give your past self a pep talk

[gildedlead]

Steph: I don’t think Jason likes me very much.

Duke: Huh? What makes you say that?

Steph: He cut my grapple line, just cause I tried to pass over Crime Alley!!

Tim: Eh. Jason doesn’t really like anyone. I wouldn’t take it personal. Just be glad he didn’t shoot at you.

Duke: Are we thinking of the same Jason right now?

Tim: Is there some other Jason we should know about?

Duke: Look, I’m not saying I don’t believe you guys, it’s just hard to picture. Look, here he comes now.

Jason, dapping Duke up: Narrows! You coming to book club tomorrow?

Duke: Wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Jason: Glad to hear it, and don’t be afraid to bring your own work, too. I’ve seen your writing, it’s powerful. Really. I’ve gotta bounce, but you think about it, alright?

Duke: Yeah, yeah…See you, Park Row.

Tim:

Steph:

Tim & Steph: Hey What The Fuck.

[incorrectbatfam]

What does Tim say when people ask about his spleen?

Damian: I am updating my blackmail records. Tell me what happened to your spleen in its full hilarity.

Tim: I donated it to a sickly orphan.

Damian: You win this round.

———————

Tim: I have to be careful, I lost my spleen.

Carrie: How?

Tim: Aliens.

———————

Tim: I'm zero percent spleen and fifty-nine percent pizza sauce.

Helena: Zero percent spleen?

Tim: Yep. On the bright side, they named a disease after me.

———————

Luke: I've designed nanotech vitals trackers to be implanted on our spleens.

Tim: Oh, no thanks. I don't have one.

Luke: You don't have a spleen?

Tim: It wasn't paying rent so I evicted it. Lazy freeloader.

———————

Barbara: Why does your chart say you're missing a spleen?

Tim: I made a deal with the devil but I had a discount code so instead of my soul I just needed to sell a non-essential organ.

———————

Steph: What happened to your spleen? Are you okay?

Tim: I'm fine. It's taking an extended gap year.

———————

Harper: So... can I ask about your spleen?

Tim: Yeah, don't worry. I was part of a failed science experiment.

Cullen: What'd they do?

Tim: They injected me with a serum that was supposed to make me indestructible. But instead all I got were a spleen removal and chronic insomnia. And a free T-shirt.

Cullen:

Harper:

Cullen: Was it a nice shirt?

———————

Dick: What do you mean you don't have a spleen?!?

Tim: It was confiscated by airport security.

———————

Tim: Happy Pride! My spleen finally came out of the closet. And by closet I mean my body.

Kate: Diversity win.

———————

Tim and Jason: *arguing*

Jason: At least I still have my spleen!

Tim: It's genetic!

Jason: Sucks to be you.

Tim: We have the same dad. It could happen to you too.

Jason, scoffing: Whatever.

Jason, internally: Oh shit, he's right. I need to see Leslie.

———————

Tim and Bette: *sparring*

Bette: *hits Tim*

Tim: Ow. Time out. That was my spleenhole.

Bette: ...How?

Tim: It took a trip to the Titanic in a soup can with a Playstation controller.

———————

Duke: Since when did you have that scar?

Tim: Since losing my spleen last year.

Duke: How do you lose a spleen?

Tim: You forget to cherish it.

———————

Cass: ?

Tim: I digested it.

———————

Selina: You know I have to tell Bruce about this.

Tim: Okay, fine.

Tim: I had to get it removed as a kid after falling into a well of bats.

———————

Bruce: Tell me what happened to your spleen so Alfred and Leslie can give you the proper treatment.

Tim: What do you mean?

Bruce: Everyone's been telling me you don't have it.

Tim: Well, I do, so...

Bruce: Alright, I'll have a talk with them about bad taste pranks.

———————

Alfred: You can't keep the truth from me, Master Tim.

Tim: Assassins stole it.

Alfred: I wasn't born yesterday. Now what really happened?

Tim: ...

[garpen]

PT. 3

Dick won the fight. Bruce won the bet.

<<Part Two<< Master List >>Part Four>>

[missingnightwingsmullet]

batfamily, assemble!

[yuinterrobangapologist]

Selina becoming Batwoman: Good AU. I like it. Cool.

But there's already a Batwoman.

So when Selina and Bruce marry: Bruce becomes Catman.

The entire Batfamily rebrands.

Dick becomes Calico. The multicolored patterns remind him of the original bright Robin colors.

Kate becomes the Lioness. Bette joins her as Lionette (a play on the word Lionet, a word for a baby lion)

Cass becomes the Black Panther. No ones sure how but she gets even more stealthy.

Tim becomes the Abyssian. (Reference to the Brown Color, like the Drake suit, and how they're supposedly the smartest breed of domestic cat)

Jason becomes the Blue Tiger. It's a cryptid, and no one's sure it ever existed, much like how no one's sure how Jason came back to life. There's some mythology to it, which I think ties in to Jason having some magic.

Damian becomes Leopard. The perfect predator, an opportunistic hunter that strikes from the shadows. (Plus they look like kitties...)

Babs becomes the Catseye. She sees everything, in an almost supernatural way, to outsiders.

Duke becomes Snow Leopard. 1. It's a Leopard, signifying his love for Robin in the first place. And the bright white is similar to his bright yellow, both a juxtaposition to the Batfam (Catfam)'s darkness. It also stands out in another way. Snow Leopards live in the icy tundra, much different than the greenery and savannas of other big cats. Similar to Duke's powers being a stark contrast.

Steph becomes the Pink Panther, but still wears Purple. She pretends she thinks its pink. Just to be silly, and annoy goons.

[hehether]

Power of rainbow 🌈

[florasheart]

I DON’T WANT SMUT I WANT FLUFF OR SOME GOOD ASS ANGST GOD DAMN IT

[myrefugeblog]

This episode fucking hurts, but look at them 💜

There is nothing wrong and everyone is happy.

[ungodlybliss]

i love this panel sm. all of them are so cute. luke hugging alfred. sigh. i love them.

[thatvintagefanboy]

[glitter-stained]

Bats and Birds jobs headcanons that I will defend with my life, mostly from my civilian AU:

Barbara: works at a library, will hack your company to help you figure out flaws in the system for money on the side

Dick: retired Olympic gymnast, gymnastic teacher

Cass: part time professional wrestler, in a duo with Steph

(Edit edit: it has been pointed out to me that some people just don't like feelings which I didn't consider, so I did take off the therapy part because she wouldn't want to do it, but I still think it would be so interesting to see her volve about it)

Jason: writer (novelist + ao3, he has the range), part time barista at some point

Steph: definitely works part time at a movie theatre, I also picture her being a professional wrestler for some reason, in a duo with Cass

Tim: unclear if he's doing freelance investigation journalism or private detective work but either way he likes figuring stuff out (it's a lot of cheating husbands and he doesn't dislike it)

Duke: escape room owner and designer, the trickiest puzzles in the American continent, and each room has incredible aesthetics and personality even though people complain about how difficult they are.

Damian: professional painter, volunteers at the animal shelter every day.

Bruce: trophy wife

Harper: whatever the fuck Michael Reeves has going on

Cullen: editor (Jason's professional AND ao3 beta but neither has any idea the three identities are connected)

Lucius Fox: CEO of Wayne enterprise

Luke Fox: mechanical engineer

Kate Kane: rich heiress, competitive MMA fighter when she feels like it

[faiya9996]

WAYNE FAMILY ADVENTURES IS BACK BABYYY!!! well almost

But they're doing a bunch of mini episodes before season 3's release and I have currently inhaled them like food.

Duke's stating the obvious.

And Tim's into good old stalker mode.

Good times

[incorrectbatfam]

Likelihood of the batfam bailing you out of jail:

Tim: Absolutely 100% no questions asked

Steph: She'd ask you what you did and take you out for food to celebrate

Dick: He would, but there is going to be a long, unavoidable conversation

Barbara: She'd call them to convince them to let you out but you gotta find your own way home

Duke: Yes, but it'll be an awkward drive back because it's 2AM and he's in Ninja Turtles pajamas

Harper: She doesn't answer unknown numbers

Damian: He would do it only to have something to hold over your head

Helena: She'll do it if you sign a contract to pay her back with interest

Alfred: He'd leave you in there for a night as a lesson

Carrie: She would agree after you tell her how to do it but get distracted and never show up

Cullen: He's just glad someone remembered to call him

Kate: She would laugh and hang up

Luke: He'd send someone else to do it

Bette: She would reluctantly say yes after some back-and-forth

Bruce: He's already there bailing out one of his kids, so why not

Selina: She would, and she'd teach you how to not get caught next time

Jason: He's sitting in the cell next to you

Cass: She's not bailing you out, she's breaking you out

[garpen]

PT. 2

Nobody better tell me this is to verbally aggressive, bc this is exactly how I be speaking with my siblings

<<Part One<< Master List >>Part Three>>

[dulusionalapocaliose]

I desperately need crazy unhinged bossgirl woman and their pathetic man representation. And by that I mean intelligent, ambitious, unhinged, disgustingly educated but hyperfeminine, that knows how to fight magnifically and are mad science smart queens that would do what is needed to get what they want and need, and their husband/boyfriend supporting and following them around like lovesick puppies.