#also I think Jason would straight up have no problems with Duke

[gildedlead]

Steph: I don’t think Jason likes me very much.

Duke: Huh? What makes you say that?

Steph: He cut my grapple line, just cause I tried to pass over Crime Alley!!

Tim: Eh. Jason doesn’t really like anyone. I wouldn’t take it personal. Just be glad he didn’t shoot at you.

Duke: Are we thinking of the same Jason right now?

Tim: Is there some other Jason we should know about?

Duke: Look, I’m not saying I don’t believe you guys, it’s just hard to picture. Look, here he comes now.

Jason, dapping Duke up: Narrows! You coming to book club tomorrow?

Duke: Wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Jason: Glad to hear it, and don’t be afraid to bring your own work, too. I’ve seen your writing, it’s powerful. Really. I’ve gotta bounce, but you think about it, alright?

Duke: Yeah, yeah…See you, Park Row.

Tim:

Steph:

Tim & Steph: Hey What The Fuck.

[gilverrwrites]

I could never get over it if the batfam walked on Bruce and I having sex. Even MORE, if we were married for a longtime, being parents together. I think everyone would be traumatized and it would create for a long time, awkward tension and moments, no one being able to quite look each other in the eyes. Bruce trying to act as if nothing happened, but still cringing in his head.

It would be SO bad!

Cass was the first to figure out what was going on and avert her eyes. She didn’t see much but she saw enough. For a very long time, every time she looked at you, you could tell she’s remembering what happened and trying to scrub the image from her brain.

Dick is simultaneously the most traumatised, and the most calm about it. Like this is the worst thing he’s ever laid eyes on and he’s seen some pretty messed up shit in his time but he’s gotta do damage control for the younger siblings, he’ll freak out about it later.

Jason is the loudest, he's immediately fake retching and threatening to gouge out his eyes. Days later, just when he thinks he’s over it, that the sight is no longer ingrained in his head, something reminds him and he’s straight back to wanting to barf.

Duke is apologising for barging in right until the door is closed and then he's reteching and looking for the nearest bathroom to wash is eyes out in. Theres like a full month where he cannot look you or Bruce in the eyes at all.

Steph is a goddamn menace. She would have been stood by Cass who likely would have covered her eyes or something to stop her from seeing much, and she's also one of the fastest to get over it. But watching Jason freak out, or Dick try to brush it off while dying inside is to much fun, so she frequently is the cause for reminding them about it.

Damian is the most normal about it, was it unpleasant? Yes. Very. But he knows what sex is, he knows it’s a normal thing that people do. At least it’s over and he doesn’t have to dwell on it anymore. Or he wouldn’t if Grayson would stop incessantly checking in on him which is far worse. At some point this event lead to Bruce trying to have The Talk with him, Damian was appalled.

Babs, like Dick is trying to diffuse the situation but winds up making it worse because she cannot resist making stupid jokes about it. Really she’s just trying to lighten the mood but it is not appreciated.

Tim’s mind is in like 3 places at once at any given time. He was probably at the front and didn’t even fully register something is off until Bruce is slamming the door in his face. When everyone else is freaking out he’s just kind of like ‘okay… moving on…’ cause for all of them to burst in on you, there was probably a bigger issue at hand that needed his brain power. He’s probably lying in bed 2 days later, having finally wrapped up everything in his head when oh. OH, OH SHIT NO GROSS I DID NOT SEE THAT.  

Like you said, Bruce would try to act normal about it for a long time. Until the tension is to much and/or its causing problems during theit nightly activities. He’ll bring everyone in for a mandatory team meeting, try to clear the air. IT WILL NOT GO WELL, and he will immediately resort back to pretending like neither happened.

[ghost-bxrd]

So with Fae!Dick, we all know that Bruce is just… not gonna say anything bc of his own mental health, but do you think the other batkids notice anything once they come along?

On one hand, I think someone would have to notice. If not Jason, then Tim, Steph, Barbara, or Damian bc, well, they’re BATS. They literally have been trained to notice things.

On the other hand, though, I think it would be HILARIOUS if they just attributed Dick’s Fae nature to him just being weird. Like, completely unaware he isn’t human. Maybe not entirely realistic but I think it leaves for some interesting comedic moments 😅

Honestly at one point I think it all devolves into plausible deniability. 😭😂

Jason is the first to notice something amiss, obviously. But he joins Bruce in pretending it‘s just Dick‘s general weirdness. After all, as long as the dog just howls once in a while it’s not necessarily a wolf, right? And Dick, after the initial hang up and trying to kill him a little, is sweet as a summer‘s day to him and viciously protective to boot. Galas and all the rich people there that used to treat Jason like a circus animal aren’t a problem anymore because Dick always swoops in like a bat out of hell and distracts the creepy old ladies with a charming smile until they walk away with vacant eyes. It‘s all pretty funny. And very weird. But hey, Jason gets a laugh out of it and that secretive little grin from Dick so whatever.

Tim I headcanon has Dick all figured out within a month of officially meeting him (the opposite of this would be Tim never figuring it out which is also kinda funny and just attributing it to his circus past or something) and is veeery cautious about interacting with Dick for a time. It makes Dick kind of sad and Tim can only withstand the puppy eyes so long until he caves.

Steph just kinda shrugs and accepts Dick‘s strangeness at face value. It ain’t hurting her so why should she bother? Dick is cool. She likes Dick. End of story, thank you and good day. And yeah, fine, some of his habits are downright weird and everything but who is she to judge? And he‘s always down to cause mischief with her which is?? Super cool???? Even the more devious pranks she can bribe him into joining by handing him a jar of fresh honey or hand picked fruit!! Anybody trying to say shit about Dick lands them on her hit list, period.

Cass is Cass. Nobody can fool her. She may not know what Dick is, but she‘s painfully aware he‘s other. Most wildlife treats him like bees would their queen, there‘s always the scent of pines and rain following him. Dick‘s body language says ‘playful-content-happy’ but his eyes say ‘dark-dangerous-predator’. It’s all very conflicting; a study of contradictions. Cass learns to go by what his body language says and quickly finds a kindred spirit in Dick, who somehow always seems to know exactly what she tries to express but has trouble translating into words.

I headcanon Damian grew up with folklore so while his first theory may not be “fae” he definitely has Dick down as something other than human. Which means he must be powerful. Which means Damian must keep himself in Dick’s good graces in the hopes of making the creature teach him how to be powerful in turn. And, well, the kid grew up with a grandad that regularly takes dips in a magical swimming pool. I don’t think there’s much that can genuinely shock him lol.

Duke is… well, he’s the sensible one so of course he’s the first one to actually ask questions. And then proceeds to go nearly insane because??? Nobody seems to?? Care???? That Dick just rotated his head a full 360°???? Or that the manor sure af isn’t supposed to??? Randomly add hallways???? Or that there’s a whole ass SWAMP that appeared in the basement overnight???? Or a door that leads straight into the forest?????? Duke very nearly nopes the hell out because that’s too much even for him. But finally, finally someone takes pity on him (I headcanon it’s Cass) and she doesn’t explain anything per se, she just kind of… shows Duke. Shows him around the manor, introduces him to twisting halls and strange rooms, takes him to where Dick is lounging with the rest of the family, purring like a content cat. And Duke still doesn’t understand, not completely, but Dick smiles at him with too many, too sharp teeth and tugs him into the huge cuddle pile and?? Are those feathers on his neck?? No, he must have imagined it. Anyway, Duke thinks he can handle this… strangeness, if it scores him a family like this. It’s Gotham, right? Weirder things happen here on the daily.

Omg this turned into a whole ass essay I’m so sorry 😰😅😭✨

[starry-storms]

Fanfictions where all the batkids are children together are funny because of the chaos, okay?

Dick is in his early teen years. He won't stop climbing shit. He's impossible to keep in one place.

Jason is such a sweetie, but he's following Dick's lead because Dick is older, and this seems fun! Except he's a little insecure. Families are weird to him.

Tim is always like 7, and he's just a little guy. He likes Batman and he listens easier than the others but he cries often.

Damian is just straight up an infant. Has all the infant problems.

Now Cass and Duke are rarely in these fics, but I want to include them.

I think Cassandra would be interested in the other children, but struggles to find a place among a large group. She'll stay with the group until she is overwhelmed, and then scurry off. Bruce will have to find her later.

Duke's energetic! Put him too close to Dick and they work like a singular battery. It's terrible for everyone else. Also he really REALLY likes to play outside, meaning he's always got scrapes on his hands and knees.

The chaos, sweet, delicious chaos, is that Bruce is responsible for everything.

[zahri-melitor]

Newish Comics (22 January 2025)

It’s Black Canary week, so I’ll be buying that, but it’s not on the shelves yet. Here’s everything else.

Absolute Wonder Woman #3: Stunning. Gorgeous. The reason for Diana’s tattoos becomes clear. Diana’s internal strength and kindness for others comes through so clearly in this title (the way she talks to Pegasus as she sends him away. Her explanation to the news crew of what she does and does not want them to film).

But I am a simple person, and Barbara Minerva running straight onto the page and immediately crashing in Diana for a clinch meet cute? Followed by bestowing the name Wonder Woman on Diana, referencing the Amazons? Ahhhh. That’s lesbian vibes I expect from a Wonder Woman title.

Action Comics #1081: and we wrap up the 12 weekly run. Personally I thought Waid resolved the ‘recapture everyone’ part a BIT pat, but he used the rest of the story space for the story he wanted to tell, rather than big dramatics of tracking everyone down. I am interested in the interaction of the timing of this story with JLU, because Waid’s writing both and I’m trying to work out the details of what he does have in and out of J’onn’s power set right now.

The Tamaki story felt whole and complete, in how it wrapped up. I think I want to reread this one separately when they put it out in trade, because I want to see how the web builds up and admire all the early references. I’m excited for when they get around to slotting the new Supergirl title into the lineup.

Batman: The Brave and the Bold #20: and we wrap up this title. In terms of story in this issue, the Maxine one was clearly the best. I didn’t mind the tattoo story but it hmmm needed something extra in the framing. Felt not quite polished for the point they wanted to make.

Overall in terms of book as a run: I’ve never really shifted from my initial impression, which was that it was caught in a difficult tension between being a book with Batman in the title and how much of a wider anthology it wanted to be. The biggest stumble was, for me as a reader, the concentration of how often the Bat stories in an issue were led by Bruce or exclusively focused on him, with the rest of the stories in the issue being wider picks, leaving the Batfam cast high and dry, rather than giving characters without ongoings some space for a story. They managed to shift out from that to a degree by the end of the run, but the title opening with a 5 issue, 22 page per issue Batman-and-Joker flashback story really did set the tone. It gave the same ‘this should have been a mini’ vibes that Cheer and The Long Con had in Urban Legends, but for even less payoff – it’s not like selling a Batman-focused mini is hard, whereas I can see why minis about Jason Todd and COLE CASH got absorbed into a new anthology book that started in the Covid cuts and retool.

I think the best story it had overall was Pygmalion, and as cute as that was, it wasn’t nearly as essential as some of the Urban Legends stories were (Cheer, Sum of Our Parts/A Carol of Bats, and the various Duke Batman and the Outsiders stories take it to the cleaners just for starters). The other thing I am glad it did have was a concentrated Nightwing and Deadman story, which is such an obvious angle to exploit but rarely gets done. Unfortunately for me it was written by Tim Seeley, but I know a bunch of people like Seeley’s writing more than I do, so I’m sure they had a good time. I appreciated the Black and White shorts; this was a good spot to pop them in.  

I also averaged about one story per issue that I was actually hanging out to read, meaning that I spent the entire run asking myself if I should drop it next issue, and if I had been buying it I would have pretty rapidly.

Finally this is probably a me problem, but I found Simone Di Meo’s covers made it incredibly hard to tell issues apart at a glance. His art style does not translate into visually distinct covers.

Detective Comics #1092: you know what? It’s been ages since Bruce actually had a proper short term girlfriend to date in a title, between all the Bruce/Selina and the Bruce & Talia Being Very Divorced arguments. I’m actually scrambling to think of examples since Julie Madison in n52. I think he took Deb Donovan’s daughter Caroline out for dinner before Caro tragically carked it?

So, good job, Tom Taylor. You’re simultaneously setting up a convenient excuse to point to over Bruce’s aging slowing AND we’ve got Bruce dating a civilian.

(Now all we need is the Azrael link in this plot to get followed up on)

The Flash #16: the dog (Foxy) is Dawn Summers ahahahahahaha. Perfect. I’ve already gleefully yelled about what the title is doing about Skartaris, but it looks like it’s doing something interesting with Travis Morgan on top of how it’s specifically shaking down the various West family members’ power sets. (I also need to stop mentally referring to Wade as Jack-Jack, but it’s getting hard)

Green Arrow #19: I have to say, Ollie, since when did you suddenly decide that secret identities matter again? Your entire family haven’t seriously cared about that outside of occasional editorially mandated attempts for at LEAST 40 years at this point.

(I will however note that the modern option of the ‘cover your nose and mouth with a buff’ style of mask does actually address the hoary old joke of ‘everyone knows because of your facial hair, Ollie’. Smart call)

Justice League Unlimited #2: In terms of the Justice League as a property, it’s actually hugely compelling that we’re going for a J’onn focused plot in the opening arc, because if there’s a character for whom Justice League is THEIR primary title, it’s J’onn. A good call from Waid.

Metamorpho: The Element Man #1: oh Ewing and Lieber went REALLY old school with this and it’s pure Silver Age nostalgia. I’m not going to continue with this, but if you’re a fan of modern tribute comics to the Silver Age like Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen, it might be worth trying.

The Warlord #82: this week we are again barely in Skartaris - we catch up with Tara for Tara to miss Travis for a moment - but then we’re back to the future in the 24th century, where following a nuclear attack there’s been a military dictatorship imposed on America and basically all civilians have been enslaved. Travis Morgan, being Travis, is outraged that such a thing could ever happen in the United States and foments a slave rebellion.

(The remaining population of the US is small enough that apparently the President just stands around watching slaves work. There might be all of 300 people or so in America)

[loreoftheforgotten]

How i think the batfamily acts after getting their wisdom teeth removed

written by someone who’s had to have both their top and bottom wisdom teeth removed at two different times because the world hates me and wanted me to go through it twice i guess

okay so first of all bruce, this man has an insane tolerance for pain and tbh i think the only person able to get him to listen to this doctors instructions is alfred. and it’s not like he’s ignoring the instructions on purpose, he just isn’t really aware of how much pain he’s in because of his pain tolerance so he pretty much assumes he’s just healed faster than normal (also he doesn’t swell much for some reason so again, he just kinda assumes he’s fine)

next up, dick! tbh i feel like he’d legitimately have a bad time with it. idk why but i just think he would. he’d get super swollen and sore, and probably wouldn’t be able to talk for a few days without some kind of pain. although he absolutely would take advantage of everyone doting on him to get whatever he wants. it helps that he looks like a chipmunk for like a week after getting his wisdom teeth removed and the pictures make great blackmail material

and cass! cass and barbara come home one day with cass looking super swollen. everyone’s super worried bc wtf!!?? turns out she asked barbara to take her to get her wisdom teeth removed bc they were causing her some pain. that’s basically it, she’s a bit swollen for a bit and in some pain, but otherwise she heals fine. she does sorta take advantage of everyone looking after her, but honestly she just kinda chills in her room to recuperate while she reads and catches up on some shows she’s been wanting to watch.

now jason. okay listen, hear me out. he originally gets both his top and bottom wisdom teeth removed after being taken in by bruce. his experience is sorta average tbh, maybe a bit slow on the healing part of it bc of his already recovering health from being a street kid. but after he comes back from the dead and gets chucked into the lazarus pit he starts getting some pain in his mouth. turns out the lazarus pit regenerated his wisdom teeth. so basically jason has to get them taken out twice and no one will let him live it down

next on the list is tim. tim probably gets his taken out after he looses his spleen so someone sticks with him 24/7 just to make sure he’s healing properly and shit. it probably takes him a bit longer to heal and i feel like he would have a bit more pain than average but otherwise he heals perfectly fine. he probably tries to stay at drake manor at first, but dick convinces him to stay at wayne manor so that they can keep an eye on him.

okay now steph! she’s the only person in the batfamily that doesn’t need to get both her top and bottom removed. she just needs to get her top wisdom teeth removed and everyone hates her for it because they all had to do all four. like dick, she totally takes advantage of everyone doting on her while she heals. she spends most of her time at wayne manor just sprawled out on one of the couches and makes bruce buy her the best ice cream money can buy.

okay now for damian. he straight up doesn’t need to get his wisdom teeth removed. like they aren’t a problem at all and he brags about it constantly. although, jason ends up punching damian in the face when jason got his removed for the second time and damian made fun of him for it. he spends the next few days moping on the couch with an ice pack pressed up against his swollen cheek while jason sends him shit eating grins.

and finally duke. my younger sister had to get her wisdom teeth removed before getting her braces on bc she had to do another surgery on some other teeth and they figured they’d just do it all at once to get it over with and i feel like duke would be the same. so like he’d get his wisdom teeth removed at like 13/14 and just have an average time healing. when the other batfamily members ask him about his wisdom teeth he just shrugs and goes “i got them removed years ago” which makes the rest of them upset because they like having blackmail material of how swollen people get after getting their wisdom teeth removed and they can’t do that with duke now

[therefore-it-was]

this looks fun :D

most of these ended up not being blackmail tho, sorry about that!!

mcnamara: her grades, her drifting away from you and duke -> love bombing perhaps?. personal headcanon that she self harms so maybe that. mental health problems (again, personal hc that she has autism/anxiety/depression)

duke: stuff related to her ed or her precious books. “discover” that she’s gay and make her feel like a predator for liking you, blame her for david not trusting you

veronica: letters she wrote jd because she would so do that.

mr jason dean: you already have 7/11 i don’t think theres much more you can do lmao

tanner (unnamed freshman): since chan is a junior/senior, maybe she has her tests/hw from freshman year that she could give him if he does shit for her. he has also mentioned that he’s “not-straight” (is anyone at zesterburg???)

tracy (stoner chick): substance abuse/addiction or her home situation? specifically with @/stonxr-chick’s headcanons

hannah (young republicanette): other than lesbianism, maybe her “prude”-ness or lack there of. how her parents got divorced? not sure how that would help. shes staying with nicole right now, meaning something happened with her parents

nicole (therapy): lack of preparation for where she wants to get, maybe she doesnt have the money to make it to nyc??

keith: steal bro’s golf clubs.

stephanie (new wave girl): substance abuse/addiction or her father being in jail for being an uh oh

guys why do I have so many for poor mac?? feeling kinda bad rn :3

OOC: I need blackmail ideas for literally any of the characters because Chat-GPT is not helping.

I'm pleading to the creative minds out there.

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Batfam Among Us Headcanons

I just got a 97.5 on my psych final and I am going to ride that high as long as I can so have some fluff

The world’s greatest detectives are extra okay and of course this transfers into how they play games together

They all arrange desks in one of the guest rooms and set up those testing folders to hide their screens

Bruce bought extra computers just for playing among us, they have about fifty just stacked in the middle of the room in case

They used to use their personal computers but they haven’t since The IncidentTM

(The Incident was when Tim killed Damian for the fifth time that night and Damian nearly strangled him with a computer charger... while it was still attached to a computer... and it fell off the desk and died)

(They also started having assigned seats after that, with Tim and Damian on opposite sides of the circle, but that’s just a coincidence, right?)

Dick

“I’m just happy to spend time with you guys”

It sounds like a lie but he genuinely is just happy to have family time, he’s been suggesting it for years

Who knew all it would take was a murder mystery game with little bean people

Too bad he’s so awful at it

Smiles a lot more when he’s imposter

Sometimes giggles a little when he commits a murder

Everyone is lowkey concerned with how much he’s enjoying killing them

But they don’t think about that or mention it because J’ACCUSE!

He insists it’s part of his strategy and that he does it on purpose

Longest long con in the history of gaming

It’s still going, even

…

(It’s not on purpose)

Jason

“If Bruce is the first one dead it’s Jason”

It makes him very easy to frame

But by god will he continue to do it

Problem is, after a while it became impossible to know if it was him or someone framing him again

And he doesn’t make it easy to figure out

This man hasn’t given a straight answer in his life

“Did you kill him” “No. Yes. Maybe. But I’m gonna say no.”

“What was I doing? Tasks, duh. Where? Places.”

They lowkey hate him

Babs

Originally didn’t play

But eventually wanted to know what the fuss was about

Is now addicted

Even plays when the rest of the family isn’t there

She really only likes the tasks, though

The fact that there’s a murderer on the ship is irrelevant

It’s really obvious when she’s just been killed (at least by bat standards) because she goes “oh”

And then she goes straight back to tasks

Absolutely throws the game when she’s imposter

“Was it you?” “Maybe but have you considered that he deserved it”

Tim

He has made it his mission to figure out who the imposters are every round

Throws accusations everywhere no matter what, he figures he has to be right at some point

His points are all valid but he has trouble giving an actually convincing argument

Trust him guys he knows what he’s saying you’re just s t u p i d

“When I get communication skills it’s over for all of you!”

He does not, in fact, ever get communication skills

When he’s the imposter though…

He also tries to keep up the constant accusations

The reasoning is worse when he’s imposter

But that’s okay because no one understands what he’s saying either way

Kills and then hides in the vents for the rest of the round

They try and stack on vents to catch him out

He always knows

A l w a y s

Steph

She doesn’t care who gets mad at her, she is going to win this if it’s the last thing she does

And what’s her strategy to do so?

She doesn’t really have one

But it’s working

She’s so bold that most the time she stuns people into silence

Blatant lies all around

Will self report and lie her ass off

Will kill in a crowd of people

Will lie and say she was with you even if you only saw her for a few seconds

No one knows when she’s telling the truth

They don’t even know if SHE knows if she’s telling the truth because she is so confident about it

Cass

Isn’t allowed to play

She was allowed to for One Round

The screen comes up and she just says “It’s Bruce and Tim”

It was, in fact, Bruce and Tim

They were not happy with this

Now she sits in the corner and watches them all

It’s a little bit creepy but it’s better than her spoiling the game sooooo

Damian

Plays third imposter when Dick is imposter

Dick will find him alone and run around him in a circle and then off they go

This is never reciprocated

And yet Damian is always shocked when Dick turns him in

Always gets angry when he gets accused

Everyone loves throwing him under the bus

Do they usually think it’s him? No. Are they going to vote for him anyways to watch him get all pouty and whiney? Yes. Absolutely

What else are siblings for?

“I will kill you all!” “That sounds like something an imposter would say” “Not like that!” “That sounds like something an imposter would say”

Duke

Definitely just there to watch them all fight

If this was a few years ago he would have suggested monopoly

He wants to watch the world as we know it burn

But no one ever suspects him of it

They just think he’s too nice

You’d think they’d learn their lesson eventually but this family only has one braincell collectively and, unfortunately, Cass isn’t allowed to play

Sometimes Duke will literally walk away from a body and they won’t even try to throw sus on him

“Duke was standing over a body on cams” “That sounds like something an imposter would --”

Bruce

He takes red so Jason and Tim don’t fight over it

He usually figures out who the imposters are pretty quickly

Too bad he’s always killed first round

“If B makes it to second round it’s him”

That’s okay. He doesn’t like the game anyways

Or, at least, that’s what he tells himself

Whatever helps him sleep at night, I guess

[bigskydreaming]

I am looking (disrespectfully) at the trope of Bruce and other family members only seeming to respect Dick’s wishes when doing so aligns with what they already wanted to do.

Let’s go to the examples!

1) Bruce not broaching adoption with Dick because he wants to respect Dick’s first parents and feels like he would be taking their place or overstepping or putting himself in between Dick and his memories of his parents. Sometimes its cited that Dick himself expressed this wish early on after his parents died, sometimes its not and this is still just upheld as Bruce’s reasoning for not adopting Dick before he was already well into adulthood.

THE FATAL FLAW (in mine own personal opinion, natch. Personal mileage may vary, check your speedometer to be safe):

This particular plot point or tangle is in my experience ALWAYS paired with Bruce’s own insecurities about his role in Dick’s life, or not wanting to push that or receive an answer he doesn’t want to or is afraid to hear. Sometimes its about his fears of unworthiness to be Dick’s actual parent, etc, etc. But the bottom line is, there is always the presence of SOME element (and not a small one) in which Bruce’s own self-interest or feelings are protected by him NOT broaching the adoption conversation with Dick and having to confront these fears head on.

This is additionally juxtaposed with the problem that although there’s a lot of variance in regards to stories where Bruce fired Dick versus stories where Dick gave up being Robin and moved on to Nightwing voluntarily....there’s NOT a lot of stories where Dick makes Jason Robin himself or is asked by Bruce first. The part where Bruce takes this initiative on his own, without thinking through its repercussions on Dick emotionally.....this is practically always present.

Now, the problem here is that......Dick became or began becoming Robin well into his time with Bruce. Its frequently cited as the thing that began allowing them to truly connect, their time training and acting as Batman and Robin.

Meaning no matter WHAT interpretation you go with as to why specifically Dick chose the name Robin, whether it was a family nickname or an homage to Robin Hood.....the fact remains, NOTHING of Robin, THEMATICALLY, nothing that spoke to Dick in regards to what he wanted Robin to be - specifically in honor of his parents because avenging his parents and making sure what happened to them didn’t happen to others like, this was literally a key part of what bonded Dick and Bruce, the fact that Bruce was TRYING to help Dick specifically BECAUSE they shared this particular overlap of purpose - like the bottom line is, nothing about Robin CAME from Bruce. Or Dick’s feelings about Bruce. That....didn’t really even exist yet, at the time he created Robin. Everything about Robin, other than the physical costume itself, not even the design just the actual creation of it....all of that came from BEFORE he met Bruce. None of it was thoughts or feelings derived from BRUCE. Its the whole reason Dick was never Batkid or Batlad, or any derivative of Batman.

It all, ALL came from what Dick came to the manor WITH. Remnants of his life with his first family.

So the fatal flaw of Bruce’s reasoning that by not broaching the subject of adoption with Dick before well into adulthood, he was actually just respecting Dick’s relationship with his first parents and not trying to come between them and Dick’s memories and feelings about them....

All of this is inherently undermined by Bruce’s own actions.....when by repurposing Robin to ANY degree, even just to give the mantle to Jason.....this meant that he was inherently viewing Robin as being more about being Batman’s partner, HIS partner....then it was about being Dick’s heritage, his last intangible keepsake of his first family and life BEFORE Bruce.

In effect....Bruce making Jason Robin or firing Dick as Robin, either way....both betray Bruce’s OWN alleged intentions for only wanting to respect Dick’s relationship with his parents, and that being why he didn’t want to overstep by trying to impose or even ask for his own official parent/child relationship with Dick. Because that’s exactly what appropriating the Robin mantle was. It was Bruce ignoring the relationship Dick had with his parents and their memory and the fact that Robin was directly born of that....and making Robin entirely about Bruce’s OWN relationship with Dick, heedless of any other factors.

And the second Bruce did that.....his entire justification for not raising the adoption issue....disappears. It goes away. Because you can’t claim inaction being just a result of not wanting to disrespect something you’ve already voided respect for. No matter whether Bruce INTENDED it or not.....by crossing this boundary, Bruce already acted against Dick’s feelings in this regard and well, disregarded them....which makes claims of Bruce not raising the adoption issue pretty much JUST self-serving at that point. Its an alleged viewpoint of Dick’s that Bruce largely just ASSUMES....and only ultimately respects - in direct contrast to how he didn’t respect the associations Dick had with Robin - because it aligns with something Bruce ALREADY wanted to do, rather than what Dick actually wanted. It provided justification for Bruce to just....not have a conversation he was afraid to have. And that’s about Bruce at that point. Its not about Dick. Its just like...not.

2) Another example of this that is not unique to just Bruce, but recurs frequently in both canon and fanfics in Dick’s dynamics with other characters he’s close with.....is characters not apologizing for things they’ve done to Dick or raising the issue of things they did a long time ago but never apologized for....while claiming to do so because they thought DICK didn’t want to talk about it.

THE FATAL FLAW (in my own personal opinion. Nuances and variations may not be identical at all store locations, please see your local branch for details):

The particular problem I have here is that....Dick never ever ever in the history of ever and also the before ever time.....has EVER expressed a desire to avoid confrontation.

Like. That’s what he DOES. That’s his JAM. That’s literally CITED time and time again as one of the reasons he’s viewed as more of a people person and natural team leader than Bruce and other Batfam members....because he’s not afraid to cut straight (or bi) to the heart of the matter and air out a dispute.

In fact, this very character trait is one of the ones most commonly utilized AGAINST Dick in various depictions of him, as he’s often cited as TOO confrontational, TOO eager for a fight or conflict especially when his temper is engaged, such as when he’s well....personally hurt or offended.

So how does it follow, then, that avoiding tough conversations ONLY when its on the OTHER person to INITIATE, because they were the ones who DID the wrong-doing and Dick the subject of that rather than the instigator....how does it work, exactly, that these are the only times in which we DON’T tend to see a direct conversation about the harms done and the fallout that resulted? With it being claimed that this is solely for Dick’s benefit, out of a desire to avoid pulling him into an allegedly unnecessary (but really just unpleasant) confrontation?

When the concurrent reality is that whether stated or acknowledged or not.....avoiding these specific conversations and ONLY these conversations (as there never seems to be a problem finding canon or fanfic stories in which Dick apologizes for harm HE’S caused to others or is clearly expected to).....this avoidance also carries the side benefit of allowing the character who DID something wrong to Dick to....not ever have to have that super uncomfortable conversation in which they actually verbally acknowledge the thing they did to him and the effects it had on him, and apologize for that.....and then render themselves vulnerable to actually hearing whether or not he accepts their apology or is still upset with them regardless.

While - as long as they DON’T ever have this conversation, for whatever reason - they can look to the clear and consistent precedent of Dick continuing to work with people who have done things like oh, I don’t know....punched him in the face cuz they’re mad at him (and this isn’t a Bruce critical point, this is a whole damn family critical point as the only one who HASN’T actually done this is Duke. Well, Cass technically just threw him out a window, but I mean, tomato toh-mah-to). Writers and characters both can lean on the fact that actually Dick has a pretty clear track record of ultimately giving up a grudge or at least showing a willingness to look past those grudges enough that it doesn’t prevent him from still maintaining or resuming some kind of relationship with the person who hurt him.

And thus, like Example Numero Uno......this ultimately just lets other characters off the hook while claiming to do Dick a favor, but actually Dick receives no real benefit from it and instead now just has another instance of characters saying “see we respect your wishes” when ultimately their inaction is MORE in service to their own wishes and self-interests.

2b) See also the variation of this in which characters such as Bruce, Jason, Tim and assorted others like....are written specifically determining that they’re not going to apologize to Dick or beg his forgiveness because they feel they don’t DESERVE to be forgiven, and once again....its in HIS best interests that they not even give him the opportunity to say he forgives them....because they know Dick Grayson of course, and they know he’s too forgiving for his own good, so its better to like....not make it ever a possibility in this particular instance.

With the problem here being like.....Dick can’t and shouldn’t be expected to KNOW that’s their logic? So....all he’s going to actually SEE is loved ones just....not expressing remorse for hurting him or acknowledgment it even happened? Which....hurts?

So......hurting your loved one MORE after already hurting them....because you don’t feel you deserve to be forgiven for hurting them in the first place and are actually PROTECTING them from being hurt more when mistakenly forgiving you.....by.....hurting and continuing to hurt them with your silence and lack of evident remorse....

Mmmm.....

Its not the best approach, y’know?

Flaws are detected.

3) Dick’s friends and family manipulating situations in order to get the end result THEY desire, while claiming to do so for his benefit only. Dick being willing to manipulate people to achieve his own ends comes up a LOT actually....but there’s relatively little examination of how often people do this to him, claiming his best interests but really just circumventing his clearly stated desires for independence and the right to make his own choices about what HE needs....or when this is brought up, its usually limited to JUST Bruce doing it, but uh....no that ain’t it.

Specific examples of this are like when Wally joins the 1999 version of the Titans specifically to get Dick to join up, because in his estimation Dick needs more of a social life and is drowning himself with his responsibilities....and then quits not long after Dick is finally officially invested in staying with the team. Another example is when Roy gets Dick to join the Outsiders based entirely on his pitch of NOT treating the team like a family, like they did with the Titans, so that Dick could keep emotional distance and not be as worried about losing them like he suffered from losses like Donna....with his claim again being that he worried about Dick in the aftermath of that loss, etc.

And to be clear! Its not that I think Wally and Roy and others who do similar things have NEGATIVE intentions in mind for Dick. That’s the whole point of this post.....like the other examples, I fully believe THEY believe (or writers believe when writing them this way) that they have Dick’s best interests in mind and not their own. I just....disagree.

THE FATAL FLAW (at least as I see it here):

Is that I view this and Batfam members who do similar stuff as like.....falling into the trap of the savior friend complex. Its that thing when you see a friend hurting, and over time get FRUSTRATED by seeing this when a solution seems obvious to you but think they won’t take it because they’re too stubborn or don’t know what’s best for them....with this specifically recurring a LOT with Dick in particular, due to his core characterization of wanting to be the one to make his own choices. The problem here, same as the problem with the savior friend complex....is that it treats the subject of these views as like....incapable of determining what they need. Its a tacit condemnation that they actually don’t know how to cope with things and are doing it wrong - even though the ones making this assessment will never be the ones actually having to LIVE with the outcome of their meddling. Its the conviction that someone like Dick needs to be HANDLED, for his own good....because he can’t be trusted to KNOW what he needs, not as well as them at least.....and so they jump to manipulation rather than just....ASK him what he needs, or HOW they can best support him, or even just WHY he’s making the choices he is.

For instance, the problem with what Wally did was never that Dick wasn’t struggling. He was. He was drowning in his responsibilities, he had very little to no life outside of them.....Wally is not remotely in the wrong for WANTING to do something to change this situation. The problem is Wally basically defaulted to just...HANDLING his friend by restarting the Titans just to give Dick a social life again, which is pretty much a line straight out of the comics...and basically railroaded right over Dick’s initial ‘no’ when he first heard the proposal. And kept pushing things until Dick eventually joined up in order to get Wally to commit to the team too, because Wally spun it as though Dick was helping Wally by getting Wally to commit to the team for the very same reasons Wally wanted Dick to. And then....right after that, Wally quit to go back to just focusing on the Justice League, which was part of what Dick predicted would happen all along.

The thing was.....at no point along the way did Wally actually ask WHY Dick initially said no....he jumped straight to assuming his own view of the problem, that Dick just COULDN’T be made to ever see the reason to take a break occasionally and put his mental and emotional health as a priority. If he’d done this, Wally could have had dozens of other options to achieve his desired end result....he could’ve like....set up regular hangouts with Dick. 

But Wally jumped to assuming he knew the answer, he knew what was best for Dick, and that Dick’s logic was inherently self-destructive and self-flagellating.....and he felt the solution was to bring back the Titans, as he recalled their earlier times as Titans together as a time when Dick was better able to balance his social life and responsibilities.

But by not ever stopping to LISTEN to why Dick felt the way he did and was initially opposed to rejoining the Titans....Wally overlooked one crucial fact: He isn’t Dick.

And more important, his view of the past wasn’t Dick’s view of the past.

Wally was a lot more capable of viewing the Titans as not just a family, but an inherent social life, a hangout, a kind of club....because that’s what it had always been to him.

But he’d never been the leader.

Throughout all their childhoods, the whole time the Titans WERE all of the above, and relatively light-hearted in comparison to their older selves....Dick STILL had the weight of responsibilities that none of the others had by virtue of just...not being the leader. Ultimately, all of their lives were in HIS hands. He was the one calling the shots. The buck stopped with him.

And this is precisely WHY Dick had gotten to the point he had in adulthood. It wasn’t because he’d changed. It wasn’t because he’d stopped figuring out what he needed and how to take care of himself. Its because the position he’d ALWAYS been in as leader....has WEIGHT. That eventually added up more and more and weighed him down. A huge part of the reason Dick had ended up leaving the Titans in the first place, before they disbanded prior to the 1999 revival....is because of the sheer WEIGHT of all the deaths and misfortunes that had befallen the Titans....and how much he and he alone struggled with it in ways the others didn’t....because they didn’t have to. It hadn’t been their plans, their calls, their RESPONSIBILITY to find a way the others could have all made it out alive or at least less traumatized.

So.....of COURSE Dick said no when Wally first proposed restarting the Titans, before Wally defaulted to using his own membership as a lure to get Dick to agree.....because......nothing about the above paragraph had changed, via Wally’s ‘plan.’ It wasn’t because Dick just didn’t KNOW how to be a fully rounded person....it was because nobody was helping him find actual OPTIONS for doing that....that didn’t just double as MORE responsibilities! Because that’s exactly what ended up happening! Dick wound up the leader of the Titans again, just as responsible and just as invested as always.....just like he always knew he would....and also as he knew would happen...Wally ended up quitting not long into it and persuading Jessie Quick to step in as his replacement....aka just one more person for Dick to worry about when it wasn’t like he was going to be worrying any less about Wally, just now he wasn’t going to have Wally there to even POTENTIALLY be able to support him when tragedy inevitably struck because they’re freaking superheroes....and instead he’d just have another person looking to him for the answers but with no reason or chance of being the support Dick could ACTUALLY use at times like that!

Wally’s manipulations circumvented Dick’s opinion that no, actually he knew what was best for him and it wasn’t what Wally was suggesting....without actually accounting for the fact that hey, Dick might actually know that. And in the end, Wally got the result he was after, he got to feel that he’d HELPED his friend....which again, this isn’t WRONG to WANT to....but Dick didn’t...exactly....benefit from this. It wasn’t actually in his best interests ultimately.

I mean...see Donna’s death for details.

And in the aftermath of THAT....Roy essentially did exactly what Wally did....just in REVERSE! Roy got Dick to agree to lead the Outsiders, to shoulder responsibility once again....by promising that Dick WOULDN’T have to view them as family. And did Dick go too far and end up TOO uncaring about their welfare? Yup! No disagreements there! Problem is though....he only ended UP in that situation because yet again a friend thought they KNEW the solution to what Dick needed.....only for Dick to end up essentially punished and further self-blaming....just for doing exactly what Roy had told him TO do, with this particular team. Again - Roy hadn’t EXPECTED Dick to take it this far. But that’s the whole point! Roy had expectations about what Dick would ACTUALLY end up doing, that didn’t match up to the pitch Roy actually gave Dick to GET his agreement.....because Roy all along was of the assumption that by virtue of being Dick Grayson, he wouldn’t be ABLE to avoid connecting with these new teammates and viewing them as family, and thus he’d end up ‘snapping out of it’ with it being the funk he’d been in since Donna’s death.

Roy’s intentions might have been noble, once again.....but his methods stuck to the same pattern of people around Dick believing they knew what he needed or knew who he was or knew what it meant to BE Dick Grayson....better than Dick actually did...particularly when Dick said no, this isn’t what I need or this isn’t a good idea or just...I don’t want to do this.

And in the end....its Dick who ended up paying the price for it, as well as the people who got hurt because of his INTENTIONAL emotional distance.....because the ‘view all surrounding people as new surrogate family’ aspect of the Dick Grayson Experience hadn’t kicked in as Roy thought inevitably would....but the ‘view all this as directly my fault and suffer guilt for it forevermore’ aspect of the Dick Grayson Experience most certainly did! Not at all actually helped along by the fact that like....Roy also expressed frustration with Dick that like.....Dick hadn’t actually responded to Roy’s intended manipulation of his emotions the way Roy had expected him to when he EXPRESSLY TOLD DICK TO BEHAVE THE WAY THAT DICK ULTIMATELY BEHAVED. (Just, he didn’t tell Dick to dial that all the way up to Extra, but given that’s the only setting Dick does ANYTHING at, I feel its a possible outcome Roy should have at least considered. I mean, wasn’t the whole point that you know Dick Grayson better than he knows himself?)

But lo, I am salty.

LMAO, but I mean, you get it right? Obviously, I LIKE Wally and Roy. I LIKE Jason, etc. I’m not saying all of this to be like ugh how dare these characters do all this to Dick....I’m saying it because like.....they all keep falling into the same patterns of making a big fuss and acknowledgment of how much Dick prioritizes being able and free to make his own choices and decide what’s best for him and what HE wants.....

But without ever like....actively asking him AT THE RELEVANT TIME....what he thinks and feels about all this. What he thinks and feels he needs. What he ACTUALLY wants from them, or why he’s ACTUALLY saying no to something and maybe it being for reasons that aren’t just him inherently being stubborn and self-destructive.

And instead just defaulting to falling back on whatever he might have said or expressed in an entirely different context at an entirely different time.....and saying okay, by doing so, we are abiding by his wishes and thus doing what he wants and respecting his right to make his own choices.....

But ONLY when doing all of the above just so happens to align with these other characters then getting to do the thing or take the approach they’re already predisposed towards wanting to take because of their OWN self-interests at the same time.

With this never actually coming into play when respecting Dick’s wishes aligns with them taking actions they DON’T personally want to undertake, because it makes them uncomfy or they think its a bad call, even if it is something that should be his call to make.

Like....the pattern. It very much exists. And abounds. Like I could cite examples allllllllllll the way up to Ric Grayson, where Bruce respected RIC’S wishes to be left alone and not interfere in his life no matter what.....in ways Bruce almost never respects Dick’s actual expressed wish for Bruce to butt out of matters when Bruce is actually quite keen on meddling and would very much like to....

But notice how the other thing about the Ric Grayson storyline is that Ric’s expressed desire to stay the fuck out of vigilantism and superhero work, like.....just so happens to align with Bruce’s longstanding desire for Dick to like...get out of the vigilantism and superhero work? With butting out of Ric’s life and respecting his privacy in ways Dick has to FIGHT him for, like......absolutely the optimal action to take in order to allow this expressed desire of Ric’s to flourish in the ways Bruce always wished would kick in for Dick?

.....just saying. 

The pattern. It abounds.

And the key to breaking any pattern, of course, is to first recognize....and acknowledge....that it exists.

Otherwise you tend to fall into the trap of repeating and perpetuating it over and over without even realizing it, simply because its what’s familiar.

This has been A Post by Me. Thank you and have a nice day. Or don’t. Idk. I’m not the boss of you. Whatever.

[oreo-bixch]

I need to air out my brain so have some of my

Timkon headcanons

Kon developed a crush first. He really tried not to, but just couldn't stop himself. It was out of his control, completely smitten before he could register it

Tim just thought of them as close friends. Ironic how he's so smart and yet so oblivious to his own feelings. It wasn't until Kon came out as bi that he took a step back and realized that it was strange just how happy he was to know Kon wasn't straight.

If it were Bart coming out he'd be like "hey, nice bro" but when Kon did it he found himself thinking "omg omg omg he likes guys?? He likes guys??? Omg I'm a guy, that means he could like me. Omg wow that's so wild wow...now wait a damn minute-"

It was about 3 months of mutual pining until they finally confessed

Altho they definitely told Cassie

Poor Cassie was itching to just tell them already but she swore she wouldn't, and she's a very reliable person, would literally take a secret to the grave. She spent 3 months sitting back watching Tim and Kon pine after each other while knowing how they felt. It was torture

Meanwhile Bart was oblivious lmao

Bart's a great friend but he's not so good with secrets. He's got a little problem where he speaks before he thinks

Finally Kon made the first move...well kinda

He was sooo ready to just tell Tim in person, and then he settled on maybe a phone call, actually no, a text might work better...or maybe he'll just wait another week

And so he decided to have Cassie do it for him, what can I say, our boy Kon is afraid of rejection

It's bad enough Clark didn't wanna be his dad, what if Tim didn't wanna be his bf? That'd be harsh

And so Cassie called Tim up one evening and spilled the beans, which was a huge relief for her, and Tim was pleasantly surprised

He was also freaking out

He didn't know what to do, he wanted to call Kon immediately and tell him that he felt the same way, that he wanted to be more than friends, to be boyfriends. But then he collected himself, decided he wanted to tell him in person. Someone's gotta put on the brave face

So he texted Kon, asked if he was free to hang out at the Manor, talk abt a little something that Cassie brought up.

Kon was so nervous but he agreed and the next day he went over to the Manor.

Usually Conner was really chill with the Batfam, the Manor was practically a second home, but this time he was hella awkward. Mans was nervous

But they sat down in Tim's bed and talked. They talked abt everything, how long they've felt that way, how much they've been wanting to tell each other, when they first knew, I mean everything.

Kon asked what this meant, what this made them? And Tim said whatever he wanted

Kon had come out just 3 months prior to this and in a way, this was Tim's coming out. It was all so new for them, and it was nerve-wracking and exciting and crazy. But they were ready, and so they decided they would be boyfriends

Idk I guess that's how it works but anyway

Cassie was sooo happy for them and could finally spill all the beans

"omg FINALLY!! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD IT WAS TO KEEP QUIET ABT IT ALL"

And then Bart's just there like

"wait, Cassie knew? You told Cassie but not me??" >:/

Either way their friends were super happy for them

Tim told the Batfam abt a week later and everyone was super supportive and sweet about it. The Batfam actually likes Conner so they were excited for them

Alfred saw it coming a mile away, but he's happy for Tim since Conner's a good kid. A little obnoxious but they're a good fit

Dick was so happy for them, he likes all of Tim's friends and he knew for a while that they were a little closer than most. He accepted Conner into the family with open arms bc he's the best, like what do you expect

Jason was like "damn, didn't know u were bi. Cool tho, have fun dating ur annoying ass friend"

That's the extent of Jason's brotherly love

Damian was similar in that sense, he blatantly told Tim to his face that "Kent could do better but I suppose that's great news for you"

Bruce was happy asf for his son, being bi himself he was really supportive and proud of him. Plus Conner wasn't all that bad, yea he knocked over that expensive vase that one time and he's always yelling during sleepovers and he nearly ran over their cat that other time but hey, he's a good kid.

Babs and Cass and Duke were all happy for Tim too, Steph found out a few months later just bc her and Tim are exes. Not that there's bad blood between them, things just get a little awkward sometimes.

Kon didn't tell his family until about 2 months into their relationship. Except for Jon, he found out the same week but was sworn to secrecy.

Kon was really nervous to come out and tell his family bc he didn't know how Clark or Lex would react. He wasn't too worried abt Lois, he knew she would be supportive. But Clark and him were constantly at each other's throats and Lex wasn't all that good at listening or connecting to Kon.

Despite his daddy issues tho, both dads were really accepting of Kon and we're happy for him and Tim. Clark gave Kon the biggest hug and assured him that no matter how much they fought, he'd always be there for him. Lex also, surprisingly, hugged Conner and told him that who he loved didn't matter to him.

Kon and Tim's favorite date spot is this humble little coffee shop on a corner in Metropolis. Tim can feed his caffeine addiction and Kon can stuff his face on their freshly baked pastries

Altho Lex really wanted some of those WayneTech secrets

And yea those are my hcs on how it all started :)

I'll make another post for my other hcs since this one is long enough

[autisticcassandracain]

I have many thoughts on the weird phenomena in the DC fandom and the Batfam fandom specifically where probably the majority of people just straight up. haven’t interacted with the source material. and almost all of those thoughts can be summarized as ‘lmao that’s weird and mildly concerning’.

and because I’m annoying I will list them all here right now <3

1. To preface this post, I mean, obviously, comics are inaccessible as all hell, both in the disability kind of way and the ‘you need to understand the concept of hypertime to fully comprehend the DC timeline’ kind of way. Because of this, even if you don’t have a disability that prevents you from reading comics, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to look at the amount of comics you need to read to have even a base understanding of a character and go ‘no thanks <3′ and just enjoy fanart and fanfic in a vacuum. Ultimately, this is fandom, this is supposed to be fun, it doesn’t really matter.

2. That said, it’s VERY weird to me that the majority of this fandom just straight up hasn’t interacted with the source material, and moreover, that it’s considered rude to tell people that they should do so. It’s especially weird considering the amount of fanon-only fans I’ve seen who straight up have a superiority complex over canon. The idea that it’s gatekeeping to tell fans of something to actually interact with canon is just. so weird, and a fundamental misunderstanding of what ‘gatekeeping’ actually entails. 

3. But honestly I’m less interested in discussing the ways in which canon and fanon fans should interact with each other (personally, I think it would be helpful to create separate tags of some kind, but that’d require quite a big overhaul of the current fandom state) than in figuring out how this actually happened in the first place. On the one hand, it’s obvious; long-running superhero comics the way DC writes them have made themselves so thoroughly inaccessible that most people are simply too daunted to even try. Most media has a cohesive beginning and end (or at least, a planned end somewhere). Comics just... don’t.

But I do think it says something that, even among people who are clearly interested in the characters (since they have, you know, entire blogs about them), the effort to get into comics just seems to be too much to even bother. This really doesn’t bode well for the future of DC Comics. Obviously, I am no expert on anything at all ever, but I’d personally be surprised if DC survives beyond the few decades, at least in its current form/without a big overhaul.

4. But on the other hand, I don’t think the confusing state of DC Comics is the only thing to blame here. Fandom has a well-known problem with reducing any character down to archetypes to more easily ship and write fic/make content with. This problem is particularly prominent in fanfic, which, if you read enough of it, you’ll eventually start seeing not just the same tropes and trends, but essentially the same fics over and over again. And not just within the same fandom; everywhere, or every large fandom, at least. 

Fanon Batfam is entirely built on a bunch of those tropes; insecure/depressed sadboy Tim, team mom with optional hidden trauma/emotional problems Dick, bad boy with a heart of gold + sadboy combo Jason, abused sadboy Damian/angry easily-villified-for-fic-reasons monster Damian, good dad Bruce for found family fic and bad dad Bruce for angst fic, etc. This all culminates in a found family dynamic that’s generic and malleable to whatever fic the writer wants to write.

(This isn’t getting into the ship fic, which I avoid like the plague because the vast majority of it is incest, but I’d bet real actual money that the tropes in those fics fall under what is often preferred by the Migratory Slash Fandom.)

By having a decent excuse not to get into canon (the inaccessibility of comics) and a, by now, well-established fanon fandom, many fans feel free to use the batfam fandom as essentially an excuse to write whatever fic with reduced archetypes and tropes they personally feel the itch to write, without having to bother with even consuming a canon. This is compounded by the fact that canon itself is often contradictory and frankly bad, meaning that whatever interpretation of a character you want/need to go for your fic is at least theoretically backed up by canon (for example, you can just as easily cast Bruce as an abusive shithole dad who his kids need to get away from as a loving father figure who cares deeply for his children), which you can always use as a defense if people question your characterization.

5. This focus on fandom trends and tropes over actual creativity or care for the characters is also visible in the way bigotry manifests in this fandom; namely, in literally the exact way you’d expect. The female characters and characters of colour are shuffled to the side, non-existent, vilified, and/or reduced to harmful stereotypes. 

Barbara is probably the one I saw the most often in fanfic, but usually just as ‘Dick’s girlfriend’, and even then, she was often vilified for Dick angst (especially in fics about examining Dick’s trauma from his canon sexual assault; Kori also often gets the short end of the stick in those). After that, probably Stephanie, who fanon fans don’t really seem to know what to do with, so she’s basically just there as comic relief waffle girl, most of the time, though sometimes she can be used to either further Tim angst or further vilify Tim, whatever the fic calls for. Cass has gotten included more in batfam fics as of late, likely in response to critiques of fandom racism for leaving her out, but again, it’s clear people don’t actually know what to do with her. She’s often reduced to a racist stereotype of a quite, stoic therapist for whatever guy du jour needs it. That, or she’s in Hong Kong and just not there. Duke especially gets left in the dust in fandom, usually just being non-existent, but when he’s there, he’s almost always nothing more than the straight man for the actual fun characters to play off of. Talia probably has it the worst, though, and almost universally gets vilified by fanon stans in order to write sadboy Damian.

All of this is extremely predictable behaviour and falls entirely in line with general fandom misogyny and racism; ignoring or vilifying women and characters of colour, or using them as very minor characters at best. The only two characters of colour who aren’t regularly left out of fic are Dick and Damian, who are both also conveniently the two characters most often drawn and written in a whitewashed manner. In addition, there’s a real trend of demonizing Damian in fanon fics where he isn’t written as an abused sadboy, which I’d argue is in no small part due to fandom racism, considering Damian’s behaviour is in no way as bad as Jason’s, who doesn’t get anywhere close to the same demonization and gets woobiefied instead. I also find it convenient that Damian is probably the batboy who receives the most vilification in fic, when he’s the most obviously non-white of the batboys they’re willing to acknowledge.

Fandom often cries for more diversity in canon, only to ignore the diversity already there and focus on the same generic white guys. The batfam fandom is a brilliant example of this.

Which is not to say that fandom racism and misogyny isn’t present in the canon parts of the fandom (and canon itself); it absolutely 100% is. But I’ve found that canon fans are also more likely to like and care about at least one of the characters I’ve listed as ignored/vilified, and are willing to create and consume content for them, whereas fanon fans... aren’t, really. I’ve never seen a fan of fanon Cass the way I’ve seen fans of fanon Dick, for example. Obviously, this could just be by coincidence, or I’ve just surrounded myself with people like that, but it’s been a trend I noticed. Racism and misogyny is present in every part of this fandom and should be addressed as such, but I feel like it manifests the most blatantly in the fanon parts of this fandom. 

(I’d also recommend the articles Migratory Slash Fandom’s Focus and Beige Blank Slates, which expand more on the type of fandom racism I think is especially prominent in the batfam fandom, as well as literally every article in the What Fandom Racism Looks Like series.)

6. All this leads me to conclude that the majority of fanon fans don’t actually like the characters all that much; they’re convenient excuses for them to participate in fandom. Which I also think is, in no small part, a reason why so many of them react so negatively to being told to pick up a comic; they came to this fandom specifically to consume it as a fandom, because they wanted the fandom experience without having to consume a canon. 

This is not a phenomena unique to the batfam fandom (again, see the Migratory Slash Fandom), but it does fascinate me. While fandom is often said to be an experience focusing on transformative art, I think it’s also safe to say that, especially as fandom has become more mainstream, an increasing amount of people are looking to it less as a way to engage with their favourite pieces of media, and more as a type of media in and of itself. I think the reasons for this are similar to the reasons mass media entertainment like the MCU are so popular; you gain a lot of enjoyment out of it with very little risk involved. 

By consuming the same fics of the same characters (or the same archetypes) over and over again, you are rarely at risk of being challenged or even disappointed. It’s often very clear right from the start whether or not a fic will appeal to you, and if it isn’t, it’s easy to just look for another one. It requires less emotional investment than most other types of media, even ‘popcorn media’ like the MCU - or, yes, DC Comics. It’s safe, it’s enjoyable, it’s comforting, like McDonalds, but just like McDonalds, it’s ultimately bland and unsubstantial. 

7, TL;DR. Ultimately, I don’t think it’s like, wrong to enjoy the fanon version of the batfam without wanting to engage with canon, and I certainly don’t think it’s okay to harrass people over it. But I do think it’s in large part based on a desire to interact with fandom rather than other pieces of media because people are scared of being let down by those pieces of media (or worse, just uninterested in actually thinking), which is mildly concerning. 

[normal-piece-of-shit]

Detective? No, Monster

“Bruce, dear?” Selina called while rummaging her guest room drawer. “I-I can't find my lucky cat pearl!” Fear-filled and desperate eyes turned towards Bruce. The look was very rare and usually meant something huge had happened. “You've seen it. I showed it to you and the other kittens today! The one that a dear friend gave me?”

“Oh.” Bruce said with a tight smile. “The friend you always talk about?”

“Yes, honey.” She rolled her eyes. “The one over whom you get awfully green from.”

“Why would I get jealous of someone who can't get a lady something more than just a pearl?”

“Jealousy is one suit that you don't often wear.” She squished his cheeks. “You are so cute when you're like this!”

Bruce broke through her cat-like grip on his cheeks. “Let's just go find that precious pearl of yours.” Selina gasped.

“What is that I see?” Bruce turned towards the door with a faster pace. “Is that a blush?! Oh, honey, you can't escape me. I've already seen it!” She let out a small content sigh as his figure completely disappeared, before following him out.

Selina stopped herself just in time so as to not collide with the bat wall that was Bruce. He wordlessly stared up at the ceiling. Selina did the same. She wished she hadn't. Trying desperately to stay latched to the ceiling, was the eldest child of the Waynes, Richard- or as he liked to be called, Dick- Grayson.

Selina didn't need a telescope to see that he was sweating bullets.

“...It was you, wasn't it?” Bruce asked- no, that wasn't his thing. Bruce stated.

“No! Wait, yes. Oh, no.” He spluttered out, somehow still latched to the ceiling. “It wasn't me! I was just...hanging around!”

“Did he just pun while when he clearly should be worried about his inevitable fall?” Selina whispered to herself.

“I'm not catching him this time.” Said a voice from behind them.

“You're not supposed to enter from a guest's window, Jason.” The fact that Bruce didn't need to turn around to know who it was, both impressed and worried her.

“He was outside the window for the entirety of your conversation.” The coffee addict of the family offered, while sipping his drink.

“Did she really have to be here, father?” Damian, who had popped from the ground- or maybe he was always there and was just too small to be seen- asked. “Alfred only sits outside her door and doesn't move at all because of her so-called ‘cat charm’.” That cat being referred to gave a helpful meow.

“See, Jon?” The most sane one of the bat family said. “My ‘The Waynes are all at one spot’ senses were right! And there's trouble too!”

“You're wrong, Nettie.” Jon exclaimed with a smug grin. “The girls and Duke aren't here. I think I'll be taking that ten dollars now!” He smiled an innocent smile, ignoring the surprised and impressed looks he got from the others.

“You little-”

“Mari! Language!” Marinette looked up to see the disapproving look of Dick’s. “There's a kid here!”

Damian scowled. “Oh, right.” Marinette nodded along solemnly, paying no mind to the murderous expression that had settled on the kid’s face. “Also,” She said, “I'm not catching you this time.”

Jason snickered at Dick’s fallen face before high-fiving Marinette. They ignored Bruce's stern look. It seemed that ignorance of family members was a thing that ran through the family.

“So, what's the situation?” She asked, reminding everyone of the current problem.

“Selina lost her lucky cat pearl choker that her dearest friend gave her.” Tim explained while taking another sip of whatever it was that he was drinking. “It's probably Bruce's jealousy acting up again which led to the stealing of the pearl. I say he's the culprit.” He sipped his drink as though declaring an end to his point.

“Wha-”

“It is a good observation, but not enough to claim Bruce as the culprit.” Tim gave a hum to indicate that Mari had a point. “Oh, and I see you've used my hot chocolate recipe. Good job!” Tim sent a smug smirk to Damian- who had turned his glare to Tim at Marinette's words. As he sipped his hot chocolate, his message was clear to Damian. Tim had just told him: ‘Hah. Take that, tiny loser!’

“And it can't be Dick.” Marinette said. She turned to Dick with an icy glare, so cold that even the sun would freeze. “Because, Dick, is trying to hide the fact that he stole my homemade cookies.”

“I couldn't stop myself!” He squeaked. “Please don't kill me yet!” The Wayne’s plus Jon sent him a disgusted look at his confession.

“It's your lucky day, Dick! Your time has not come.” She chirped dangerously. “Yet.” Her murderous smile would forever stay in their memories, unfortunately.

“I know for sure it wasn't Jason.” Jason's muffled laughter stilled. He had a feeling that that today would be the day all of his secrets was unloaded. “I saw you outside the window while coming here. I know exactly what you were doing.” Was Marinette's smile always this unnatural?

“Oh, come on, little pixie.” He let out a nervous laugh. “I'm your favourite bro, aren't I?”

“Hm. You've got a point.” She agreed. Jason's shoulder sagged in relief. Of course, it wasn't for long that he was relieved. “But, I know Dick couldn't have gotten this far unless he had gotten some help. You gave him tips, didn't you?”

“Tim could have given him tips too!” His words said one thing while his nervous actions said another. What an idiot.

Marinette arched an eyebrow at him.

“W-Well, even if I did give him tips, that doesn't explain how I’m innocent in this case!”

“Oh!” Marinette brightened. “Isn't it obvious? You knew Dick would get in trouble and would take away attention.” Dick pouted. “So you took the chance of no one noticing you to observe how B and Selina act around each other!”

Heads turned around to look at Jason.

“Oh!” Tim snapped his fingers in understanding. “So you want to learn how to act around Roy?”

“I'm out!” Jason grappled away but everyone knew that he knew he wouldn't be able to grapple away from them forever.

“I'll get him later.” Marinette waved it off. “One less person to unravel.” Her piercing gaze turned to everyone else. “Since I owe you, Tim, I'll let ya go.” Tim nodded, grateful for her mercy.

Damian turned to move away from the scene before the hunter could catch her prey.

“And where do you think you're going?” Damian stilled. Of course, he did. Who would be stupid enough to run away from Marinette?

“Tt. I need to feed Titus. Where else would I go?” He just needed a cool head. Maybe he would be left alone?

“...I'll leave you if you let me have Titus for a day. Or Alfred, any is fine.”

This...was outrageous! What imbecile blackmails them for a pet?! How dare she?...But it wasn't a bad deal. Maybe he could fool her and give her some other animal? Yes, that would be smart. He just needed some time

“...Deal.” He was out in a matter of seconds. Jon snickered away the whole time.

“So that leaves only one suspect, right?” Selina asked.

“No.” Tim smirked at Marinette's words. “There's two suspects.”

“What? Really?” She looked extremely lost. “There's no one else here, though?” She gasped. “You don't mean Alfred , do you?”

“Ok, look. I'll just get straight to the point. I’m getting tired and the writer is too.” From the corner of her eye, Marinette could see Jason peeping through a window and Damian peeking from behind the wall.

“No one could have stolen your ‘Precious pearl’, Selina.” She explained. “Because there was no pearl to begin with. The jewel you should us today wasn't even a pearl!” Collective gasps ran through the hallway. Selina only smirked.

“You were bored by the lack of activity and wanted chaos, didn't you?”

“And chaos I got!” Selina grinned. “That was one good show you gave me!”

Marinette gave a pleasant smile. “Glad you enjoyed it!”

“Uh, Mari?” Jon called for her from beside her after taking a good long look at the murderous glares of half if the Waynes. “I'm sure you don't want to dirty your self designed outfit. It's about to get real here.”

“You're right!” She looked horrified at the idea.

Jon rolled his eyes. “Just hop on, cupcake.”

And so they flew away towards the sunset, leaving behind a huge mess and living happily ever after!

---------

Press F to pay respect to those who have fallen at the hands of Mari. Also, someone should help Dick out. He's still on the ceiling.

How long has it been since I posted? I kinda missed this!

[flying-nightwing]

Decorum (3/3)

Attaboy gang, thanks for the support! Here’s the final part of Decorum. I can’t believe I cooked my boy Dick for +10 000 words, I kinda feel bad now lmao (I did add a bit of saving grace for him here, I’m not a monster) Anyway, you were served appetizer, main course and finally dessert with a generous syrup of Jason.

Part 2

Pairing: Jason Todd x reader, Dick Grayson x reader (ish)

Word count: 3994

Warnings: swear words, non graphic sexual content but strong implications

Summary: after making sure Dick gets the message, you finally get closure.

Dick couldn’t believe he was in the right place. He had checked many times to make sure he was in the right neighborhood, but his coordinate were clearly indicating he was. He looked around the dusty, unkempt buildings in the deserted street and thought to himself that you would--you could never stay around here. Sure, you had left with only a small part of your own fortune and left the rest to the benefit of Wayne Industries (the reason he was still legally married to you), but it was enough to guarantee you a better life than… This. Especially with your upbringing, he didn’t think you’d know how to live that way. Even for him… Hadn’t he had his training, he would easily have been uneasy walking those streets.

It had taken everything for him to make Bruce reveal him your location. Obviously he could have done it himself, but he didn’t think you’d take it very well if he did. But after a year and a half without any news from you but bruce’s assurance you were still alive and well, his patience had ran out. So despite warnings from the family and his own better judgement, he went after you. It was eating him inside, and he had to see you. So he tracked you down to a small town in Argentina, where you now had an address and ID. 

It was the sound of a slow, bassy beat that caught his attention first. He followed it through a small alley and finally ended up on a backyard party, where the music was loud and the people happily chatting. All of them appeared to have some carnival masks, and a drink in their hands. It was some kind of celebration, he deducted. His eyes were then drawn to the people dancing around the bonfire, their face barely illuminated by the warm glow of the fire. They were dancing in pairs to the slow reggaeton blasting from the stereo, and he could have sworn…

No way.

He dropped his bag and took a few steps forward to make sure he had seen well, only to confirm he did. After all, his eyes were well adjusted in the dark. There you were, dancing with some guy he did not recognize. It was you, he was sure of it even behind that mask. You were laughing at something he said, and you didn’t push him back when he kissed you. His eyebrows drew together at this out of character behavior, but his head truly began to spin at your next actions. You broke away from him just enough to beckon someone hidden from him on the chairs around the fire. He couldn’t see the person, but the voice that followed, louder than the party somehow, he knew too well. Way too well.

“No puedo decirte no, baby” 

Soon enough, a maskless Jason with his shirt wide open joined you. He poured some tequila in your mouth, before kissing you. Sloppily, passionately. It made Dick see red. Not only he knew where you were all this time, pretending he didn’t, but he was shamelessly making out with you, and god knows what more. Dancing with you so close, without a care in the world, his mouth on your neck… 

“What the fuck”

He said it loud enough to grab yours and Jason’s attention, as well as a few of the party goers that weren’t too drunk yet. Jason gestured for them that there was no problem and took a few steps forward, pulling you with him by the hand.

“Dick! Attaboy!” He greeted, opening his arms. You giggled at his antics as you stabilized the bottle in his hands so it wouldn’t spill. “What in el inferno are you doing here? Want some tequila?”

He looked in between you two, his eyes squinted in confusion at the mess in front of his eyes. Jason, well, he was Jason, nothing was surprising there. But you? You were wearing a crop top and some cut off daisy dukes, your hair was a mess and your feet dirty from dancing barefoot in the soil. You would have never been caught dead looking that way. 

“No I don’t” He refused the offer with a scoff before setting his eyes on you again. “I came to check on you”

“Me?” You raised an eyebrow. “I’m living my best life, Richard”

Jason made a funny face at your use of his full name, while dick only rolled his eyes.

“Here, with him?” He pressed. “You don’t even speak spanish”

“Well, ahora si malparido” You replied without missing a beat, and Jason almost spit out the cigarette he was trying to light with one hand. “And yes. He’s much better company than you”

“You must be fucking kidding me” He sighed to himself. “Why?”

“To make you feel like shit”

“To fuck my brother’s wife, man”

“Also, his ass”

“Hard same”

You were sure you could see the smoke coming out of his brain at this point.

“Before you judge me… Actually, you have no right to. Case closed” You gave him a tight smile. You knocked back the remaining of your beer before turning on your heels and heading back to the party. But before you could go far, he called your name again.

“We need to talk. Both of you” He said, but it went straight over both of your heads. “Sober”

“Sure sure” You brushed off, pulling Jason back with you. “See you tomorrow. You can crash on the couch inside or whatever”

“Or you’re welcome to join the fiesta, hermano!” Jason called to Dick. “But not with that attitude! And get yourself a drink!”

You laughed as your good mood returned in the heart of the party with Jason. Dick was forgotten the second he disappeared from your sight, and it was better that way. Just thinking about him left a bitter taste in your mouth, so you pulled Jason by the collar and kissed him hard. He welcomed the contact, only bringing you impossibly closer against him. He tasted like tobacco and tequila, and it was intoxicating in the most delectable way. His hand on your skin, burning a fire you had never touched before. 

He was everything Dick wasn’t, and it was amazing.

Life was so much simpler ever since you had left Gotham. You did your thing, with no pretenses or decorum to uphold. Jason would drop occasionally, sometimes for a few days, other for a few weeks, to show you the best of times every time without a fault. You had no ties, no engagement, no bullshit; only fun. And it made it all the more exciting. He had so far not disappointed on his word that he was, in fact, a piece of heaven. 

“Look who joined the party” Jason nodded to someone behind you, and a quick look revealed Dick looking very uncomfortable, but nevertheless with a drink in his hand. He tried not to make it obvious, but he was watching you and Jason. Your thoughts were only confirmed when you crossed glances for a second too long. “What do you say we put up a show for Boy Wonder over there?”

You grinned at his words, knowing what he meant. You now danced to make Dick jealous, which meant dancing sensually, provocatively, obscenely with Jason like you probably never did before. His hands were going wild as you practically grinded against each other. It was working, because soon enough you caught a glimpse of Dick retreating back to the house. Your eyes returned to Jason’s hooded ones, and you bit your lip. You lowered the mask pulled up on his forehead and kissed him again, drunk in lust for him. 

“Let’s go back to the bedroom, handsome” You muttered in his ear and a smile graced his face.

“Don’t have to tell me twice, darling”

As you pulled him back to the house, you couldn’t help but think the master bedroom was right over the living room.

------

The next morning followed your usual routine when Jason was around, regardless of your unannounced guest. You woke up early and burned the rest of the alcohol from the party through a run. A few miles before the heat became unbearable, then training in a private part of your garden. There were trees and fountains, which made it cooler than the rest of the propriety as the sun climbed higher in the sky. You were sweating alcohol and fire smoke as you were facing Jason on the fighting mat, but nevertheless, your energy and determination to put him on his ass was still very alive. 

He was circling you, much less on guards than you were. He was waiting for you to make the first move, but you had to find the right one. You knew that almost whatever you did, he would stop it without much of an effort. So you had to take him by surprise, which was easier said than done. 

“Come on darling, don’t tell me you’re sore from yesterday” He teased before lightly tapping his chest. “C’mon, hit me”

“Cocky bastard” You jumped right in and threw a few punches as a distraction that he dodged easily, before going for the leg sweep. But alas, his training was once again far superior than yours. You don’t know how it happened, but a few moves from him had you trapped under him. 

“I’m starting to believe you like me manhandling your sweet ass” He grinned as he started to stand up from his position. You took the opportunity to grab his neck in a chokehold with your legs, and bring him down with his own momentum. At least, that worked, because in a flash he was on the ground, trapped in between your thighs.

“You were saying?” You huffed.

“Oh, I definitely like ending up here, babe” He drawled out suggestively, and you rolled your eyes. “But business first, pleasure later”

Your eyes widened as he easily rose from the ground… With you still around his neck. Before you could shriek, he threw himself forward and slammed you down on the ground, saving his own fall with a roll. For a moment, you could only lay flat on your back, trying to process what had just happened. Beside the wind being knocked out of your lungs on the initial contact, you weren’t hurt. Just… Shocked, with good reasons to be. 

Well, that was a new one you weren’t prepared for.

The sun was then blocked by Jason, who offered you his hand and a shit eating grin. You took the hand and pulled yourself up, dusting off your backside. He raised an eyebrow in challenge, and before he could predict your next move, you threw a round kick, one he barely dodged. Judging by the surprise on his face, he had not expected such quick recovery from you. You took advantage of your attack momentum to throw hits and jabs everywhere you could see open. Your only advantage was that he was unprepared and off balance, but god did it feel good to see him not so smug for once. You finally backed him up into a wall and snatched the blade he always kept in his waistband, pressing it against his neck.

“I don’t know if i should be impressed, or proud, or both” He huffed. “But I’m definitely turned on”

“You dog” You scoffed humorously, taking a step back and handing him back his blade. He took it and tucked it back in the waistband of his short, still grinning at you. “Are you surprised I got the best of you?”

“I’m hard to beat, babe, of course I’m surprised” He teased, earning him a push on the chest as you made your way back to the house. But you noticed your training session had gained a… Spectator. “Oh hey Dick. Came back for act two?”

You snorted at his reference to the night before, and you could have sworn Dick blushed when he momentarily looked away. 

“I didn’t know you knew how to fight” 

“Obviously” You rolled your eyes as you walked past him into the house, undoing your sparring gloves. “I'm never getting kidnapped for one of you again"

"That's… good" He nodded, glancing quickly at his brother who had now taken his shirt off. 

"I'm going to take a shower, I'll be back" You called as you made your way to the stairs. 

"Comin with ya" Jason jogged after you, but stopped when you turned around.

"Not today, Jay Bird" You tsked teasingly. "Now be a good host to our guest while I shower"

"It's not even my house" He protested weakly, before sighing and backtracking to the kitchen. He paused there, giving his brother an once over before making a bee line for the fridge. 

“What have you done with her?”

Jason slowly straightened up from his search for food, unsure of if he heard Dick correctly. He furrowed his eyebrows and turned to face him. “Come again?”

“I said, what have you done with her?” Dick repeated, putting emphasis on his words. It made Jason snort at the sheer irony. “She would never…”

“She would never what, Dick?” He sighed in annoyance. 

“You turned her into you and you know it”

This time, Jason didn’t hold back the laughter. He grabbed an apple, spun it in the air and caught it back before biting in it, trying to find out where the hell his brother had found the audacity. “I didn’t do shit, Dickie. It’s all her”

“I don’t believe it” He objected, but Jason wasn’t on the defensive like he had expected. Instead, he was the one to be.

“What did you expect?” He shrugged. “You broke everything that held her into the mold, and now she shines. I mean, I’ve always suspected she was a wild little vixen under all that pretense, but boy was I in for a nice surprise. You really missed on something there, I almost feel sorry for you”

“So you’re together now?” Anger was audible in his voice. He remembered way too well how they danced the night before, and how Jason had totally done this to prove he could. “Or you use her to fuck?”

“Aren’t you just the cutest” He smirked, throwing the apple core in the bin. “I’m just helping her enjoying life outside the stupid decorum she was born into, brother”

“And you’re taking nothing back out of this?” He challenged, as to try and find something against him. But so far, he had nothing concrete.

“Of course I’m taking something out of this” He scoffed derisively. “She’s hot, and she’s amazing at sex. That I taught her, since you clearly didn’t. Guilty as charged on all counts of bedroom fun positions… Fuck, you really did miss the jackpot”

“And you cheat on her, does she know that?”

“He doesn’t cheat on me” You walked in right after his question. “Not anymore than I cheat on him, because we chose our relation to be that way. Not that it concerns you”

“See? She’s shining” Jason taunted Dick as he brushed past him in the direction of the shower at his turn, leaving you alone with your… Legal husband. He looked uncomfortable, but you didn’t care. You weren’t nervous to face him.

“Uh, you look good”

Dick wanted to facepalm himself. That’s all he could say? Of course it was. Your skin was glowing like it never did before, you didn’t look tired or stressed, and most importantly, he wasn’t there to hurt you. You truly looked good, healthy and happy. And it made him miserable to think his absence from your life was one of the main reason for that, and the other, Jason. 

“I do” You replied without an ounce of shame, because you did. “So I guess we’re doing this long overdue conversation now”

He nodded slowly as you gestured for him to take a seat to the table. You joined him and sat on the other hand, crossing your fingers in front of you. It was better now than later, and you could close this horrible chapter of your life once and for all.

“It’s weird. I barely recognize you” He began.

“You would have had to know me in the first place for that” It wasn’t harsh, the way you said it. But you had to make it clear where you stood, and lying would have been counterproductive. “You never spoke more than ten words to me, except when we’d fight. How could you possibly have any idea about what I was like before?”

“Right. I deserve that, I guess” He mumbled to himself. “I just… I just would have never pictured you fighting, I remember you didn’t like it”

“Because it wasn’t the proper thing to do” You admitted. “I felt like I didn’t belong in that training room, like I didn’t belong in your world, you see”

“Are you doing that to make me feel like shit too?”

It sounded… Defeated. He was talking about you and Jason, with the underlying question of why him. You knew it must have felt weird, to see you together. But while he was ignoring you, Jason had been the only one who didn’t pretend like everything was fine. Well, he did to some extent because he had to, but he would always be there if you asked for him. When he accepted your invitation to come and see you in Argentina, he helped you change your world around, to discover who you were on your own terms. It had been the first time you could choose, you could dare to be bold, you could dare to make mistake and stupid things without fearing what blow it would deal to your reputation. He gave you a taste of freedom, and you never wanted to let it go. It wasn’t like you were a couple either; you had just found a best friend that could understand, and that could give you a little extra more…

“I’ll admit it’s a side effect that does not displease me, but no” You answered. “I’m doing this for me, because this is who I am”

“Is that what you think? Or what he told you?” He asked expectantly. 

“You have to stop with that. You have to understand the only times I was ever myself were when you weren't around” You sighed, dropping a truth you had wanted to reveal him for a while now. “You never made the effort to know me. Jason, despite his flaws, did. So once again, whatever judgement you think you’re entitled to, you’re not”

Silence followed your words. He was thinking about them, processing them, while you were just relieved you could finally get it out in the open. Sure, you had talked about it with Jason, but Dick needed to hear it from you.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have...” He held his head down, finally speaking. Whatever hope he had with this talk just disappeared in smoke, seeing as he had nothing to give you. “I just… I just can’t bear to know that I’m the reason you had to turn to him, you know? I hate to see him giving you everything that I wouldn’t because of my own damn stupidity, while I could have been the one to… Be there.”

He finished in a whisper, and you didn’t reply straight away. You knew he had been sincere in his feelings back at the hospital, and it hadn’t changed. Somehow you knew he was truly trying to change, that he was trying hard to make up for his past actions. If only he had showed that behaviour a little sooner, you had no trouble believing he would indeed be the one beside you right now. But history made its course, and he wasn’t.

“Well, we gotta own our mistakes, don’t we?” You hummed. “... Now I’m just asking of you that you respect my choices as my own, you owe me that much”

He hummed in agreement before reluctantly standing up. He glanced at the door, then back at you. “I should go now. Just let me know when you’re back to Gotham, okay?”

“Dick” You called before he could go any further. He spun back to face you, but your expression probably cued him it wasn’t because you had a change of heart. “I’m not coming back to Gotham. Ever”

“What?”

“I should have told you this at the hospital the night before I left” You confessed. Your choice had been made a long time ago, you had just hoped he would have given up before you had to do this. You stood up and went to the small desk beside the window, fetching a white, unmarked envelope. You went back to him and handed him it. “I never had the intention of coming back. Here’s… Everything you need to move on as well. Only thing left to do is for you to sign, the rest had been taken care of”

Wordlessly, he pulled out the folded documents, staring at them frozen in place.

“The second document stipulates you and Wayne Enterprises get to legally keep my share of the family money” You explained. “Please sign it too”

“You’re divorcing” It was all he could say, and you nodded. 

“We both need this” 

“But--”

“Listen, I see that you are trying to make amends, and it’s why I decide to forgive you for whatever you’ve done. It’s in the past now” You gently cut him off. “I understand you are trying to be better, and I know you will be for whomever life puts on your path next. But I’m not a part of this journey for you, not anymore. So you have to let it go”

For the first time since you met Dick Grayson, you could look truly him in the eyes, and him in yours as well. It felt strange, to have talked with him when you never used to. You believed you had learned more about him today than in two years of marriage, but somehow it felt like the closure you and him needed. You didn’t need to know why he had been a jerk to you, it wasn’t important anymore. You had seen what you had wanted, a glimpse of who he truly was, and that was satisfying on its own. You just hoped he’d remember his lesson, and would be careful for the times that had yet to come. As you watched him leave your doorstep, one thing was clear, you were at peace with what happened with him. Who knew, perhaps in a few years from now your paths would cross again. You’d say hello, he’d say hi back. Maybe you’d go take a coffee and talk about your lives, and possibly share a laugh over silly details you had overlooked from your shared history.

But for now, you’d rather forget Dick and enjoy what you had. You closed your eyes as arms wrapped around you from behind, and Jason’s shower gel took over your sense of smell. It made you realize how content you were with the life you had, and how glad you were to have left the life that had been designed for you.

“How did it go?”

“Don’t pretend you weren’t listening” You smiled, resting your head against his chest. You felt the vibration of his silent chuckle as he swayed you lightly. “But it went well. We cleared things up. And i gave him the papers, I shouldn’t stay miss Grayson for long now”

“Aw man, there goes my “affair with my brother’s wife” fantasy” He joked, and you half heartedly slapped his chest. “Ow”

Some things never change.

“I’m just glad it’s over” You sighed, turning around in his arms to face him. “Thank you”

“For what darling?” 

“Everything, Jason. Thanks for everything”

[theendlessnessofbeingme]

Part 1 confessions

The bat kids sitting in a circle doing a bonding exercise

Dick: ok, how this works is that to trust each other better we are going to say, out loud, our worst fears

Jason: I am not doing that

Dick: oh come on jay bird, it’ll be great.

Duke: if it’s so great why don’t you go first?

Dick: I will. So my biggest fear is falling

Steph: why?

Dick you can’t ask that

Steph: why not?

Dick: because we’re bats and it’s very likely we’ll use it against each other

Damian: then why are we telling each other our fears

Dick: because it builds trust

Cass:(signs) that’s contradicting

Dick: guys can we please just do this one thing without questioning everything

They look at each other and nod

Damian: very well Grayson we shall take part in this ridiculous endeavor

Tim: I’ll go next then. So my worst fear is that one day I’ll come across a problem or a mystery that I can’t solve and I’ll drive me so crazy I’ll end up in Arkham

Jason: damn that’s dark

Barbara: my turn. So I used to be scared that the joker would kill me but now I’m afraid that everyone will die because of any mistakes I make

Cass:(signs) these are getting so dark. Does mine have be dark too?

Dick: no it doesn’t

Cass: (signs) good. It’s my turn now, I’m afraid of my mother, that one day she will come back to take me away and I will go with her. willingly.

Steph: well I’d stop her

Cass:(signs) I don’t think you can but thank you for the support

Jason: it’s my turn. What I’m scared of is that Bruce would let me die again just to save the joker.

Steph: shit you guys these are getting serious. Mines gonna sound dumb compared to the rest

Damian: I don’t believe the point of this is to have a deep fear brown

Steph: well it seems like it does

Damian: enough with your stalling just tell us what yours is

Steph: fine, my most horrific fear is .... the beldamn

Tim: you mean the other mother from coralline?

Steph: yeah

Barbara: why?

Steph: I don’t know she just seems extra creepy

Jason: so let me get this straight, if you ever get sprayed with scarecrows fear toxin you’ll see the beldamn?

Steph: no

Tim: what do you mean no? If that’s your worst fear that’s then that’s what you see when you get sprayed

Steph: I won’t see the beldamn because the fear toxin doesn’t work on me

Duke: I have so many questions

Dick: ok let’s move on and Steph we’ll discuss this later

Duke: I guess I gotta go next. So I’m afraid that one day everyone is gonna be die and it’s just gonna be me alone trying to save the city. Also side note Steph I think the beldamn is extra creepy too. (She gives him a high five)

Damian: well it is finally my turn. My fear is that one day I might have to be the new demons head and that I will have to face my grandfather alone

Jason: so, now what do we do blue?

Dick: I don’t know I didn’t think we’d get this far

Damian: may I suggest we watch this coralline film

Jason: why?

Damian: I wish to understand why brown and Thomas find this beldamn so terrifying

Cass: (signs) I also want to know what a beldamn is

Barbara: I guess we’re watching coralline

They all get up and go to set up the movie

[armageddon-generation]

Batwoman Could’ve Been the PERFECT Batfamily Show

After Gotham ended so recently, Batwoman should've positioned itself as the Ying to that show's Yang by focusing on Batman's allies instead of his enemies.

The 'Bruce disappears hook is a brilliant way to do this

Kate is our audience entry point into this world

ORACLE + GORDON

Barbra Gordon has already been paralysed via The Killing Joke, and hasn't yet become Oracle - she's still recovering

Comissioner Gordon took an early retirement after his daughter was paralysed, which is why Kate's Dad's private security force the Crows runs the streets

Batwoman and the series' events inspire him to return and reclaim Gotham for the Law by the end of season 1

TIM DRAKE + WE ARE ROBIN

Robin disappeared with Batman, so we can introduce the We Are Robin gang. At the beginning of the season they're just criminals, but after Kate defeats their ringleader she shows them a better outlet for their rage, and inspires them. Duke Thomas (future Signal) is among them

Once the we Are Robins are established Tim Drake returns to Gotham. Kate is surprised - few people outside of Gotham know there have been multiple Robins. This way we can explain the different versions to people not in the know

Just like after Bruce was sent back in time in the comics, Tim has gone travelling the world as Red Robin, searching for him. Tim heard about the Robins causing civil unrest and is concerned about them marring Robin's good name.

Tim and Kate clash over the Robins' chaotic, violent modus oprendi - Tim enforces a philosophy of Robin as the light to Batman's dark - promoting positivity, not violence. A loose adaptation of the Robin War storyline follows where Duke Thomas emerges as the Robins' leader and rallies them to be more controlled and less violent

Tim leaves after this mini-arc, satisfied Gotham is in good hands. He also teaches Kate more about the detective side of Batman - he isn't just a blunt instrument. Tim will be our primary link to the 'Bruce's location' mystery throughout the series

NIGHTWING

Dick arrives in Gotham on a case from Bludhaven. Kate thinks he's abandoned Gotham - he should've taken up the mantle while Bruce was gone.

Explore Dick's troubled history with Bruce (not to F**k Batman levels), how Babs being Batgirl caused him to quit, and the one-two punch of Jason Todd's death and Barbra's paralysis only validated his getting out while he could

Tender scenes between Dick and Babs alluding to thier teenage crushes on each other.

As a cop, Dick hates the Crows being on Gotham's streets and more actively conflicts with Kate's father, driving up the tension between them and Batwoman

RED HOOD

This arc would be like a finale-style thing

Jason Todd returns and starts assassinating criminals with the ambition of 'controlling' crime. Kate is a soldier, more brutal than Bruce, so she has greater sympathy for Jay's methods

Jay is after the Joker. Like in The Dark Knight Returns, the Joker has 'retired' to Arkham since Batman left - he got bored pretty quickly. This arc introduces him properly after a few teases earlier in the series.

Jay learns of Barbra's paralysis (which happened after he died) - even then Bruce wouldn't kill him. A scene where Jason visits Babs (little brother/big sister dynamic).

Both Dick and Tim return for this arc, losing their shit over the Joker. Kate's reaction to the Joker is much like Terry McGuiness's in Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker. She doesn't get why everyone is so scared of this stupid clown.

Tim is the one who figures out how Jason was resurrected; just like in the Red robin comic he's been travelling through the world of assassins and knows about the Lazarus Pit.

I think doing the Red Hood arc without Bruce - the main target of Jason's anger - is super interesting. Most people share his anger at Bruce for disappearing.

It also lets us dig deep into the inter-Robin dynamics - Jason hates Dick because he always had to live up to him (do that thing in the comics where Jay had to dye his red hair black to 'look like Robin')

Jay hates Tim for replacing him, for being proof Bruce didn't learn his lesson, for Bruce treating Tim better, the way he should've treated Jason

Kate is instrumental to this arc because, being outside all the drama, she has objectivity. She forces Dick and Tim to get their heads out of their asses and talk to Jason, forces them to confront the problem.

Instead of taking the Joker to Bruce as he does in the Under the Red Hood movie, Jason takes Joker to Babs, who has suffered the most because of him. Confronted with the man who 'ruined' her life, Babs proves bigger and stronger than him. She refuses to kill him. Unlike Jason, she's moving on and growing past her trauma, not looking for revenge.

Joker (being the Joker) turns the tables on Jay and has him at his mercy. Kate swoops in and, like Terry in Return of the Joker, messes with the Joker's head by refusing to take him seriously. The Joker is distracted, screaming about Kate not being Batman, and Babs gets to knock him the fuck out.

Jason escapes, but not before dropping a clue connecting Bruce's disappearance to the League of Assassins

I know the showrunners admitted they have no clue where Bruce is yet, so in my version he's off on some quest with Ras Al Guhl. In the time since he's been gone he's married Talia and had a kid. no-one in Gotham knows this yet.

VILLAINS

We can explore how Batman’s absence has had a strange effect on Gotham's villains - many have gone into states of hibernation similar to the Joker.

Two Face gets his dark Knight Returns plotline where the attempt to repair his face, 

Mr Freeze has a similar ‘cure’ story a la Batman Beyond

Clayface (as in the Rebirth run of Detective Comics) is trying to go straight - using his shape-shifting gift to make a name for himself in the movie business. He thinks he's finally been accepted, but people are just sucking up to him because of his talent - the reality of their disgust threatens to push him back over the edge

Without Batman there to fight her, Poison Ivy has pretty much taken over Gotham's main park space, but a kind of stalemate has been reached - she won't attack the city as long as the city doesn't move against her plants.

Kate's central dilemma is navigating these unusual waters - she toys with the idea of putting Ivy behind bars and we get an episode of her exploring the micro-climate of the transformed Park. Kate's disturbance makes Ivy threaten the city, and she has to stretch her underused negotiation muscles to talk her down.

I like the idea of Ivy as an ambivalent character, not good or evil. She'll do whatever she wants. Also she and Kate would have killer sexual chemistry.

Harley. Exploring Harley in such a strongly feminist show would be fascinating. Joker has closed off, given himself up. Harley is forced to fend without him, and finds an antihero niche with the Gotham City Sirens (hi, Ivy!)

With Bruce's disappearance, Wayne enterprises is designing revolutionary new weapons for the Crows. It's revealed that they’re using the Riddler to design these. After Batman disappeared it was presumed Nygma went through therapy and was moved away from Gotham - in fact he's here.

This plot point is inspired by the New 52's Zero Year arc. Kate discovers the foul play when the Crow's systems go haywire because of a virus Nygma planted, sending Gotham into a blackout and giving the Riddler control of its municipal systems

Kate finds Nygma and exposes Wayne Enterprises' corruption, but in the process Riddler escapes.

Similar to Ivy, Kate's appearance excites the Riddler and he reactivates his Saw-like trap rooms across the city. Kate has a different, much blunter way of solving puzzles that frustrates him, used to Bruce's genius-level intellect.

This raises the question - is Batwoman a liability to the city?

BATGIRL(S)/BIRDS OF PREY

With Riddler's re-emergence triggers the appearance of Spoiler. In the comics Stephanie Brown is Cluemaster's daughter, but no-one really gives a shit about him. The benefit of a decade-plus old Batman means his rogues gallery can easily have kids - Stephanie had her name changed in witness protection.

Steph helps Kate beat the Riddler in collaboration with Bab's hacking skills. Kate sees potential in Spoiler and sends her to Babs to be trained.

As Batwoman's appearance reawakens super-crime in Gotham, the Crows get desperate. They hire world- renowned assassin David Cain to start taking out targets

Intro Cassandra Cain.

Cass + Steph + Babs are this series' version of the Birds of Prey

Babs teaches Cass sign-language to communicate. Steal her friendship with Clayface from the Rebirth Detective Comics - Clayface leaves the movie business again because it was unhealthy, and is trying to do good

Everyone is very protective of Cass and determined she won't fight

[365days365movies]

January 6, 2021: Last Action Hero (Part 2)

SPOILERS! And check out Part 1 beforehand! Anyway, let’s go! Got a lot to cover, TRUST me.

So, this movie is incredibly cluttered. Anyway, Slater makes his way to the Fart Bomb, and Practice (makes perfect) is a dirty cop working for Vivaldi. Danny and Slater get chained to a pipe, and I’m still surprised we haven’t even slightly revisited the time Danny got taken hostage about, what, an hour ago? Whiskers the Cat Cop arrives and shoots Salieri, and I weep for the part of my sanity that just died typing that sentence.

I want you to know, I mad that GIF. I had to type “furball problem.” I’m losing it, you guys...and I think I’m enjoying it.

Together, Slater and Danny steal the body of Leo the Fart (HUP, there goes a little more sanity), everybody at the funeral has a gun (including one old woman with a straight-up grenade launcher), and so, SO much property is abused and damaged. In other words, it’s a pretty fun action sequence. Leo drops into a conveniently placed tar pit alongside Jack Slater, and Danny briefly becomes a domestic terrorist by shooting a gun in a public area, WOW, the ‘90s was a different time!

So, it’s at this point that I start getting annoyed by Danny always being meta. I realize that I've been praising it for this, but...yeah, no, it’s starting to get annoying now. Especially considering that we’ve got an hour left in the movie. But, on the bright side, it’s also at this point that Benedict becomes my favorite character. This gorgeous motherfucker kills Vivaldi (whose plan was completely nonsensical, by the way), and then turns to the screen. Charles Dance effortlessly channels the spirit of Shakespeare’s Richard III, Duke of Gloucester, as says this to the audience:

If that little turd, Daniel Madigan, can move through parallel worlds, I can move through parallel worlds. In and out! In, steal whatever I want, and out again! Impossible to catch!

I can add colors to the chameleon, change shapes with Proteus for advantages, AND SET THE MURDEROUS MACHIAVEL TO...Anyway...  

Charles Dance is giving his absolute best energies to this role. And this might be a silly movie, but godDAMN is Benedict a great villain for it. It’s immediately followed by the surreal image of a monster truck crashing through the wall of this mansion, and the fight leads to Benedict, Professor Toru Tanaka, Danny, and Jack Slater falling through a portal created by the ticket, and ending up in the real world.

We put Jack’s action-movie world in contrast with the real world, first with little things, and then with a legitimately vicious-looking car accident. Like, wow, it’s a VERY realistic-looking accident. I’d show a GIF of it, but...wow, it’s extremely affecting. Toru dies, and there’s, uh...there’s blood. Man. It’s rough, honestly.

Speaking of affecting, Jack is beginning to understand the true nature of his reality. And Schwarenegger does an OK job pulling that pain off...but like everybody in this movie, his emotions are way calmer than mine would be if I were in his shoes. But there is one character I can identify with: Nick, the theater owner. When he finds out that the ticket works, he starts to talk about the movies he could now visit, the people he could meet. OK, most of them are beautiful female starlets, but still! I get it! Do you know how much I would love to meet Stan Lee? SERIOUSLY? It’d be amazing.

I can also identify with Danny’s mother, who is rightfully PISSED. Seriously, this kid just got assaulted by a robber, brought to the police, and went directly TO THE MOVIE THEATER. GROUND THIS CHILD. GROUND HIM SO GODDAMN HARD.

And then, Benedict experiences the darkest part of the real world, and Dance again shows his talent. He begins by showing surprise and mild horror at the depravity of an early 1990s New York City (a little more dramatically bad than it was in real life at this point, but still), then sees a man assaulted (and possibly killed) for his shoes. He remarks at this in horror...then realizes that the police don’t come as quickly as they do in his film universe. He experiments by killing a man in cold blood, in public, and no one stops him. 

Upon realizing his potential freedom in this world...he makes a plan. He uses the ticket, and brings back...the Ripper. ANY OTHER MOVIE VILLAIN? Dracula? Freddy Kreuger? Jason? Like...nobody? That is...such a missed opportunity, goddamn.  Anyway, their plan is to kill Arnold Schwarzenegger. As in the REAL Arnold Schwarzenegger, who actually appears upon his real-life wife at the time Maria goddamn Shriver! Which...yeah, that’s cool, but...the amount of celebrity cameos in this scene is, frankly, INSANE. 

Here’s a list: Little Richard, Jim Belushi, Damon Wayans, Chevy Chase, JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME, MC Hammer. And that’s not counting Tina Turner (the mayor earlier), Sharon Stone, Robert Patrick, Joan Plowright, and...well, I’ll save the best for last.

I haven’t even mentioned the development of Slater’s as a three-dimensional character in multiple different ways; the Ripper showing up at the movie premiere alongside the movie actor, Tom Noonan; the Ripper KILLING NOONAN’S REAL WORLD AGENT...

This movie is insane. So much to cover, and yet it’s SUCH A LONG GODDAMN MOVIE. This movie is 2 hours and 11 minutes long! SERIOUSLY! I am tired, I gots to go to BEEEEED. Let’s get this climax over with, shall we? Arnold Schwarzenegger meets Jack Slater in some REALLY seamless effect work (this movie has actually aged SO well, damn), the Ripper kidnaps Danny and brings him to the roof of the theater, in a bid to reenact their old battle. Some meta dialogue takes place from the Ripper, and he THROWS DANNY OFF THE ROOF. Noonan’s also actually pretty good at playing this unhinged, Joker-esque maniac, by the way.

Jack kills the Ripper (again), and Danny’s saved from falling by Jack, just in time for Benedict to show up and make my day once more. He expounds the true potential of the ticket and film villains (frustrating me even more), while also chewing the scenery splendidly. He points out that any movie villain would love the real world, noting that in this world, the bad guys win. He shoots Jack Slater, and as he’s about to win, Slater shoots him in the eye, resulting in this shot.

Nice. 

But he drops the ticket, which lands near a theater showing the classic Ingmar Bergman film, The Seventh Seal, a movie which is on my list for Drama December. Or maybe Experimental June, I haven’t decided yet. Anyway, the ticket activates in front of that theater and...that’s Ian fucking McKellen.

THAT IS IAN. FUCKING. MCKELLEN. PLAYING INGMAR BERGMAN’S DEATH. WHAT. HOLY SHIT. And that happens just as Slater is literally about to die in the ambulance, and Danny summons his domestic terrorist impulses again, whipping out a gun and hijacking the ambulance to get Jack back to the theater. Meanwhile, Ian McKellen just KILLS a dude on the street, because this movie is secretly AMAZING. DeathKellen follows the ambulance to Nick’s movie theater as Jack is dying. Leading to one of the most surreal things I’ve ever seen.

McKellen fucking TAKES this movie as an omnipotent death, and is essentially Death ex Machina. My God. This movie is the silliest, craziest, wackiest, most nonsensical, crazy movie that I’ve seen...and goddamn does it have some amazingly great moments. To the extent that I only just realized that the fucking cartoon cat is voiced by DANNY FUCKING DEVITO. WHAT. THE FUCK.

And all of this is also running over the almost completely ignored fact that Danny is still greatly saddened about the death of his father. And this film completely passes that fact over. Like I said, there’s so much extra folderol in the film, and it really did have the chance to be this emotional, existential epic. But sadly...it’s kind of all over the place.

Anyway, Jack’s back in the movie, where his wounds heal, and he now has a new understanding of his own fictional existence. He officially becomes the meta. And also ruins the Jack Slater franchise forever. Yeah, uh...the franchise has literally become self aware. And that’s not gonna be a good thing for the movie.

And that’s Last Action Hero! Epilogue coming in a few hours, so stay tuned for that. And I gotta tell you...I have some words to say about this movie. Some great, and some...stay tuned.