#to think about sex
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Assuming you wanna hit that red hood ass
False - not sure whats funnier me being a lesbian or me headcanoning jason as aroace both of which kinda go against this assumption
#ask#anon#even if its a fem presenting version of jason#im still like#get her away from me#shes got too many issues for me#and in my head jasons too busy thinking of their next 72 stage plan#with 9 different failsafes#to think about sex
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can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024
#ramble#if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands#you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things#some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible#the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think#i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex#this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!!#how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about#yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian#you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate
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Imagine you're the medic assigned to the task force. You're not some dainty little thing. You're snappy and will drag them by the ears if you have to. You're constantly getting into arguments with Price because he won't listen to you when all you're trying to do is help him.
Anyway, the rest of the team has bets on how long its going to take before you two finally fuck. Gaz gives y'all another month. Soap says two weeks. Ghost thinks that you've already done it.
Now, imagine how mad Gaz and Soap are, both giving Ghost 50 quid each when Price casually drops that not only do you have sex on the regular, but you've been married for the last five years.
#captain john price x reader#john price x reader#john price#Don't tell me that this isn’t how it works. i know that. i just think it's funny.#also you totally kick his ass for telling the team about your sex life#john price x medic!reader
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While we're on the subject of swinging our fists at God
The ACLU is gonna take action against Mastercard for their anti-porn schtick! Y'know, one of the major reasons the internet turned to shit in the last ten years? It's literally like 95% of the way there, we just need a few more signatures and the petition Gets There. You have to be USAmerican to sign, but there's enough of us here to fill in the last few signatures needed several times over, so go on over and throw your name on there!!
#sex work is work#pride#Not exactly a Pride Tee Em post but this policy has wreaked havoc on our community so I think Doing Something About It is relevant enough
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it's called foreplay dumbass
early access + nsfw on patreon
#i havent been able to stop thinking about these two for the least 48 hours...#i love when men with healing factors have pain kinks and engage in homoerotic violence against each other#honda odyssey scene i see you for the thinly veiled sex euphemism you were#wolverine#deadpool#deadclaw#wolvepool#giragi art
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Taking puppy sub to a sex shop and recreating those “buying everything my dog touches” videos.
#went to a sex shop with friends today and this is all I could think about#why is silicone so expensive?#t4t ns/fw#ftm t4t#t4t nsft#ftm nsft#t4t#t4t mlm#ftm dom#ftm daddy#t4t puppy#ftm ns/fw#t4t dom#ftm switch#t4t kink#nsft t4t#ftm puppy
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main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:
michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club
*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***
that's it that's the movie
outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative
actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.
aka Michael Myers Is A Republican
but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too
also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain
side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty
i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978
(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)
oh no he's hot
#HALLOWEEN#halloween the movie#michael myers#do you think he's a mike? mikey? to his friends? if slashers had friends?#i'll be honest i was expecting this movie to be way more of a bitch to its female characters#i mean yeah they died but so did some dudes#there's just a lack of cattiness compared to the way most later movies portrayed teenage girls idk#yeah the Final Girl is a Virgin and a Bookworm. but there's no bullying or any strong sense that's she's morally superior to everyone else#mostly she AND the other girls feel a bit sorry for her lack of a social life. one even tries to set her up with a date to the school dance#solidarity! trying to get your nerd friend laid!#overall it's just teenagers being teenagers and then a slasher comes in and ruins everything with his Lack Of Chill#like yeah dude sometimes teenagers have sex. get over it#also something to be said about how while the girl who survives is the one who isn't sexually active and dresses conservatively...#ultimately those things aren't ENOUGH to prevent her from being targeted#you could say that the other girls 'provoked' the villain (the same way women irl are so often accused of provoking their attackers)#but ultimately that doesn't keep the Final Girl safe. it just delays the inevitable.#because violent men never need excuses. no matter how eager society is to provide them.#ultimately she is at the mercy of the same violent whims because it was never her behavior that invited the violence.#gendered violence doesn't need an invitation.#also she doesn't save herself the doctor saves her#it's not her actions or choices that put her in danger OR save her from it--once again it is the whim of a man#no this wasn't intended to be a feminist movie it's just fun how you could argue it that way
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something that i really like about blue eye samurai, now that im thinking about it, is that it discusses violence against women without becoming torture porn. like, in a lot of media that portrays women's issues, they show you that scene. like they give you this extended visual of a woman experiencing something traumatic and then laud themselves as feminist for doing so.
blue eye samurai doesn't do that. the whole show is set in a world that is extremely antagonistic toward women, and it makes a point to tell you that being a woman right now sucks, because they are property and are used sexually. but even though it doesn't shy away from this, it doesn't show you the violence itself, which you would almost expect it to because of how graphic the rest of the show is.
im thinking specifically of kinuyo. they very well could have shown us a scene of her being abused, but they didn't. they didn't show the abuse itself, but they did show how it affected her. they showed her seeing a doctor for her sores. they could have made this incredibly traumatic and grotesque scene a spectacle, showing us exactly how powerless she is and how powerful he is. they could have shown us this incredibly triggering event in full detail for our entertainment, but they didn't. they chose not to. and i think that's how it should be.
it is not necessary to have an extended visual and auditory reenactment of violence against women. we the audience understood the gravity of the situation and were able to empathize without needing that scene. having that scene would have completely detracted from the point they are trying to make. it would have turned something completely reprehensible that women everywhere fear because it's a very real issue into entertainment.
#blue eye samurai#not art#mizu#kinuyo#bes#tw abuse#tw implied violence#tw sex assault#if im being honest i may be a little high rn but ive been thinking about this#because it's important#and it just occurred to me
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Actually, I think that homophobes in Congress wanted to find a way to criminalize being gay well before a twink got fucked on camera in a Senate hearing room and the video was released to conservative media as an act of revenge porn because the staffer in question told a genocidal and homophobic congressman “Free Palestine” to his face.
There are rapists on the US Supreme Court and I’m supposed to clutch my pearls over two men having consensual sex in the Senate? Oh! Heavens to Betsy! The first time sex acts have been committed in a government building! Are the shades of Congress to be thus polluted?
But, for the record, no amount of sanitizing your sex life or sanding down of your LGBT edges will make bigots accept you. So, don’t debase yourself by capitulating an inch to them, especially in ways that throw your fellow community members under the bus.
#not people in the comments thinking I was serious about believing this was the first sex act in a government building#i was alive during the Clinton admin folks lol
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Bernard: i lied. i don’t like sex. put your clothes back on babe and watch my power point presentation about What The Fuck Is Going On Between Batman And Twoface
Tim: …
#timbern#heartbreaking your boyfriend tricked you with the promise of sex now he’s giving a Presentation about your dad and his ex#timber#bernard dowd#tim drake#robin#red robin#Tim in complete and utter disbelief: :O#this happenes routinely#Bernard: and this is my presentation on WTF Is Going On With Batman And Green Lantern#Bernard: also Wonder Woman Superman and-#Bernard: and that’s the end of my tedtalk#Tim: :\#Bernard: what did you think? :)#Tim: it was… so great babe.. very detailed… you must’ve done a lot of research :)#Tim and Bernard making out: *bernard reach’s over and pulls a sheet off of his bedside table revealing a projector*#Tim in his mind: NOOOOO NOT AGAIN NOOOOOO | Tim on the outside :)#robin iii#incorrect quotes#kinda#batman#dc#detective comics
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Today I would like to shout out that one random Twitter person who made up that JD Vance bragged about fucking a couch.
Imagine making a random shitpost and less than two months later your joke is being used by a major party nominee for Vice President on live television at his introduction rally, earning him thunderous applause.
That poster must be having quite the experience.
#politics#us politics#tim walz#for the record I am super fucking psyched for Walz#I think he did a great job#And I think Harris made the right call#harris 2024#Harris Walz 2024#jd vance#Vance is never beating the couchfucker allegations#The problem with your party making actual reality much less relevant in political discourse is that it can also bite *you* in the ass#Functionally it doesn't matter that JD Vance never bragged about fucking a couch#Because it got repeated so many times that now it's indelibly linked to him#If someone asked random people what they think when they see Vance I'd bet money one of the top 3 answers would be “had sex with a couch”#As it should be#Because it wouldn't have happened if his vibes weren't so atrocious that everyone immediately believed it
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When she tells you your best mate gets jealous when you say you want to shag someone
vs when someone wants to shag your best mate
#episode 3 starting and ending like this is iconic#how the turn tables#i thought i wasn't too bad at understanding expressions until i saw charles bc wtf is that man thinking half the time#charles 'yeah ghosts and human can have sex together' then he sees monty and it's like 'can-NOT'#charles rowland#jealous charles rowland#i need to stop making posts about jealous charles but honestly just look at his face#dead boy detectives#payneland#paynland
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YOU ARE NOT NORMAL‼️‼️‼️
#his gay ass#house md#gregory house#james wilson#lisa cuddy#hatecrimes md#hilson#malpractice md#“well yes i was thinking about my male best friend while having sex w this lady who I say I’m in love with#don’t make me fuckin sick
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this show rules sorry
#I’m thinking about the other caps I posted where a lesbian entraps a partner into a relationship by donating her liver. great stuff.#I don’t have the chops for it but someone could say some really interesting things about how the show plays with genre awareness / the tug#and flow relationship between love and pain / religion and playing god as a healer / sexuality and love framed by corporate settings#and some good old surgery as sex metaphors#text#house md#liverisms tag
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I read Fat Face by Michael Shea last month and it was. Fine? It was a Cthulhu Mythos story written in the 80s, it was very edgy and it had a lot of tropes I’m not a fan of, I don’t really recommend it, but I have to talk about one detail I have not stopped thinking about since I read it.
So. I knew Fat Face through reputation because it was the story that inspired Shoggoth Lords from the Call of Cthulhu TTRPG, shoggoths that can control their cellular makeup to look like humans. And the twist in Fat Face is that shoggoths have been hiding amongst humans in Los Angeles, and at the end of the story one of them eats the protagonist.
The tone of the story is grit. It’s grime. It’s sleaze and sexual violence and drug abuse on top of cosmic horror. It wants to be taken seriously so bad.
But here’s the thing about the shoggoths: they have a business.
They have two businesses they run out of an office building in downtown Los Angeles. A shoggoth is a primordial blob of eyes and mouths and flesh and hunger, and the idea of one of them at the LA Office of Finance registering an LLC is already. Great. Perfect. No notes.
The business is a front — and again, that’s great, a shoggoth went, “I want to do some nefarious deeds and not get caught by humans; I know, I’ll register a fake business that’ll be a front, and no human will ever suspect” — because the actual interior of this office is a room of pools of water made from black and ancient Antarctic rocks so that shoggoths can relax in their original blobby forms and eat stray animals that they’ve caught.
So it’s basically just. A place for shoggoths to unwind after a long day of pretending to be human. It’s portrayed as cosmic horror, but it’s shoggoth Cheers. Sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your shape.
Here’s the kicker. The front of the business is a hydrotherapy clinic and stray pet rescue.
When they decided to make a front for their secret lair in an LA office building where they hang out in pools of water and eat stray animals — the front they prominently display and advertise — they decided to go with a hydrotherapy clinic and stray pet rescue.
That is Goosebumps shit. The rest of the story reads like a tone poem about the sleaze and violence of Los Angeles, and the main twist of the story reads like R.L. Stine.
But that’s not even the detail I can’t stop thinking about. Because the story reveals that this business — which again, is a front made by alien blobs to eat stray animals like an ALF-themed buffet and hang out in jacuzzi tubs of Antarctic rocks in an LA office — has a flyer.
Which means there’s a shoggoth with a passion for graphic design
#lovecraft#shoggoth#horror#and this isn’t me demanding realism in my cthulhu mythos#but i think it proves that at a certain point grim and gritty storytelling becomes absurdist comedy#the rest of the story is a gritty crime drama about being a sex worker who breasts boobily under the pitiless california sun#and the twist which is supposed to be cosmic horror elevates it into zany cartoonishness
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Haven't actually read scum villain yet but i'm pretty sure this is sqq.
Friends who have read svsss please weigh in.
#svsss#shen yuan#i said to my friend (who has also not read svsss)#'pretty sure he thinks that as long as he's bottoming he's just a standin for the wives binghe used to have'#'so if you think about it this technically counts as straight sex' 🤡
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