#this was originally intended to go in a very different direction

[sthilarions]

During a case many years ago, a witch made a poppet (roughly equivalent to the popular conception of a “voodoo doll”) of Edwin. They defeated the witch soundly and got the poppet, but there’s no safe way to destroy it. The only place Edwin and Charles trust as safe enough to keep it is inside Charles’s backpack, where no one but Charles could possibly get to it.

Charles largely forgets about it, buried deep deep down in the bag, until Edwin is held captive, less than a year after their jaunt to Hell, and there’s absolutely no way to get to him until the portal opens again at the next full moon, and he’s going crazy with worry, imagining Edwin in all sorts of misery without Charles not even able to so much as comfort him. He’s digging mindlessly through the bag when he gets to the poppet, and, he realizes, there is this one thing he can do.

He pulls it out with a care he wouldn’t give to a Faberge egg, because this is the most precious thing in the world, in any world, and looks at it for a moment. Then he reaches out ever so gently and strokes its hair. He murmurs reassurances to it - it’s alright, I’m sorry, I love you. He sings lullabies, curls around it and hugs it against him so, so carefully, tilts his head down and presses kisses to its soft curl-covered head.

He doesn’t let the poppet go for even a moment on all the days until the full moon returns, even as he’s preparing for battle, preparing to absolutely fucking obliterate the bastards that are holding Edwin.

Just as the portal opens, he finally places the poppet back in his bag, in the safest, warmest corner. He hefts the arsenal in his arms and strapped to his back and floating around him and charges through.

He tears through the stronghold in minutes, and he does literally mean through - he’s left a trail of smoking rubble behind him where ghost-proof walls used to be - and finally, finally gets to Edwin, and -

“Ah, Charles, there you are. Not to worry, I’m quite alright. There has been some sort of force - “

Charles doesn’t even hear him as he wraps himself around Edwin, and his body follows the same motions it has for weeks now, stroking hair, pressing kisses, murmuring muffled you’re alright I love you you’re alright I’m sorry I love you I’m sorrys into Edwin’s hair, which is even softer in reality than on the poppet, and Edwin says -

“Ah. That was you.”

Charles can’t see or hear anything other than Edwin, at the moment, but he can’t not see Edwin, so he has a very clear view as Edwin reaches his arms out and, with a few words, takes control of all the magical weapons and orbs and so forth that have been trailing after Charles.

And he hears when Edwin says “Well, then, Charles, shall we depart?”

And he feels it when Edwin lifts him as effortlessly as he lifted the poppet, holding him so he can keep his nose buried against Edwin’s neck as Edwin blasts his way out.

And he definitely feels it when, a few very loud minutes later, they’re back in their office, and Edwin’s head turns to meet one of his kisses.

“It’s alright, Charles. I’m sorry I left you alone. I love you.”

[ozzgin]

Pyramid Head x Reader

Featuring Pyramid Head and a reader with amnesia lost in Silent Hill. This is Pyramid Head as originally intended for Silent Hill 2, so expect a lot of game-based immersion. Warning: NSFW, dubious/non-consent, violence, gore

[Horror Masterlist]

"Oh, for fuck's sake!"

You grunt and slap the wheel, hoping your defiant act of violence will somehow convince the car engine to start again. It remains quiet. You run a hand through your hair and sigh. The palm is mildly sticky with moisture and you realize you've been sweating a fair amount. No wonder, you're stuck in this shithole. You couldn't see a damn thing ahead with all this fog. The only discernible object was a rusty, run-down sign showing "Silent Hill". You've never heard the name before, but reading the letters and allowing the words to escape your lips has brought you an unexpected wave of panic. You quickly began hyperventilating and your arms involuntarily twitched and twisted, pulling the wheel of the car along with them and causing the car to swerve into a street barrier. And now it refuses to turn back on. Fantastic. 

You hesitantly grab the door handle. After a deep breath in, you open the door and step out. Given the car crashed sideways, you can no longer tell which way is back and which way is forward. You can only see the first few inches of the barrier in both directions, but everything else vanishes under the thick clouds of mist. You rub your temples, becoming increasingly upset with yourself.  What were you even doing, driving all the way to-

Wait. Where were you going in the first place? You recall leaving from...home? But where is that supposed to be? No, don't do this. Not now. You walk back to the car and open the glove compartment, angrily pulling out a thick stack of documents and spreading them out onto the chair. You scan over them, growing more impatient. You don't recognize anything. The names and words and addresses don't hold any meaning. You glance up to the rear-view mirror in an attempt to detect some trail of blood seeping from your scalp, as a concussion might explain your sudden memory loss, but your appearance is fresh. Almost as if you didn't just crash your car in a strange place in utter confusion. 

You check your phone. Even if you can't remember, there has to be someone in your contacts that will come to your aid. The screen glitches briefly when you unlock it and the menu is empty. No contacts, no messages, no apps. No matter, emergency will do. You type in the digits and lift the phone to your head, but quickly remove it when loud static assaults your eardrums. Why is nothing working properly? You're tempted to just slam the junk into the pavement, but find enough composure to stuff it back in the pocket for now. 

All that's left to do now is to find another human. You begin walking. The road has to lead somewhere, that's for certain. And soon enough the barrier is replaced with a different kind of fencing that you use as guidance. It seems to be a small bridge. Just a few steps further and you discover the first signs of modern, populated world: a bus stop. Behind the waiting bench is a brief map of the area and you trace the plaque with your fingers, mumbling the path to yourself. "Now let's see...This is Nathan Avenue...Rosewater Park ahead...Ah, the Silent Hill Fire Station should be very close."

You can't wait to be done with this mess. They'll call for a tow truck and get you out of here. You almost sprint to the next block, expectantly. In fact, you can already spot someone right outside the building. 

"Thank God! Listen, my car broke down before the bridge. My stupid phone is also...huh." 

Just as you mention it, the same static as previously erupts from the speaker. You're startled and fumble for your phone. You're about to apologize to the person in front of you, but upon lifting your gaze you instantly stop in your tracks. 

'Person' is a strong word for it. It resembles one, or maybe it was one long ago. What's crawling towards you, however, is not how you'd define it. The arms are melted into the torso, mimicking a straight jacket of skin. The bony, crooked legs are dragging themselves in an unnatural, unnerving way. The creature has no face, save for a gaping hole, a bizarre cavity deforming what should be a head. Your mouth grimaces with disgust, followed by fear. Terror. You have the choice of returning to your damaged car, or attempting to find actual help deeper into the town. You run ahead, praying that someone's out there. The dissonant sound of a siren can be heard, diffused into the persistent fog.  

By the time you reach the next building, you're gasping for air. You didn't expect to run this far. You went all the way around Toluca lake, avoiding the side streets. The center was swarming with those abominations. Each turn and each corner would eventually reveal its revolting murmur, that pathetic shuffle of disfigured limbs. Thankfully they're not fast, nor smart. A little distance and they lose their interest to pursue you. You fall against the brick wall of this small house and read the poster. "Silent Hill Historical Society". Doesn't look too promising, but it's surprisingly devoid of any monstrous being. At this point you'd be more grateful for emptiness. It's safer. 

You tiptoe your way in, wary of potential attackers. There's a faint buzz echoing from afar, but other than that no immediate danger. You examine the lobby and notice the paintings and old photos hanging from the decaying wallpaper. It smells slightly rotten. One of the art pieces catches your attention and you stop in front of it. "Misty Day, Remains of Judgement". 

The abstract character depicted on canvas reminds you of an executioner. The more you stare, the clearer you can feel some kind of guilt knotting inside your stomach. Your shoulders are heavy and you're overwhelmed by the same anxiety of a child about to be punished. Awaiting the belt. The calloused hand of an unforgiving father. Your throat is dry.

Your musings are interrupted by the static that - as you've since learned - warns you of approaching creatures. The rooms are cramped and the walls are narrow and you dislike the idea of calculating your escape within this claustrophobic maze, but it's preferable to being dead. You jog along slithering paths, unsure of where they lead. The threatening turbulence of your phone goes up and down, like a sine wave, with each turn into uncharted territory. In your frantic efforts to flee you don't see the large hole blocking your way, or at least not fast enough. By the time you figure out the outlines of this pitch black well, you're flooded with the light sensation of gravitational force, stretching and compressing your innards as you fall. Is this how you end?

It's not so easy. 

As soon as you open your eyes, a burning pain metastasizes through the head, digging deep into your brain. You grab onto your scalp and press your fingers over the skin, hoping for a small relief. In your debilitating migraine you don't hear the agitated flutter of limbs. They're minuscule, but so many. Thousands of sclerotized joints frothing around your limp form. You lift yourself off the rusted ground and yelp voiceless at the sight. Cockroaches. The pile of vermin lets out a deafening, high pitched screech with every movement. You drag your elbows in an attempt to get away, but the creepers almost ignore your existence. They seem to be running away from something, retreating in masses.

You don't have to wait long in order to witness their source of fear. Heavy footsteps, muffled by the grating friction of metal against metal. A corroded stench invades your lungs and you cough. Whatever is coming has instilled the utmost dread in your very bones. You want to get up and run, until your legs give up and your body collapses of exhaustion, but your limbs are petrified in panic. Your chest constricts and throbs, as if your heart is trashing to escape this prison condemned to unknown doom. 

Finally, the fiend comes into view. A tall, large man wearing a leather apron layered with grime and encrusted blood. His skin is scarred and discolored, and a bulky, dense pyramid structure rests on his broad shoulders, concealing his face. He seems to be dragging along a great knife of sorts, although on closer inspection it looks like a halved pair of oversized scissors. The edge is dulled and has splattered visceral leftovers mattifying its surface. You remember the painting you've seen upstairs. Is this what it is? Your Retribution? 

You lower yourself until your forehead touches the rusty floor. Like an animal awaiting to receive the final blow from its hunter, like a prisoner resigning to his fate under the guillotine. If only matters could be dealt with so simply! Your neck is clawed into a tight hold by the large gloved hand and you're crudely pulled back up so that you can properly face your Punisher. There's a vague grunt coming from underneath his bizarre helmet. 

He carries you to the nearest wall and slams you against it. The great knife drops to the floor with a loud crash, and the other hand, now freed, begins to search your lower clothing. You can feel the seams of the garments tear and snap with no resistance. You want to vocalize a protest, but your throat is crushed under the forceful pressure of his clasp. At best, you can exhale in what sounds like a whispered wail. His apron is nonchalantly flipped to the side and your thigh lifted over his forearm, so that his hand can adjust itself securely under your bottom for support.

Abruptly, a prickling ache crosses your entire body as if you've just been split in two. Tears automatically begin forming in the corner of your eyes and spill down your cheeks and over the pyramid that's now pressing tightly against your quivering form. It's too big and you want to push away, but with each renewed plunge you grow weaker. The small tears and rips that blossom around your abused intimacy turn into bleeding wounds. You want to sleep. 

A creature of pure instinct, serving as a reminder of human perversions and immoral desires. Travesty, corruption, sin. And what about it? Before you know it, a small moan escapes your dried lips. You throw your arms around your captor's shoulders. The sharp edges of the helmet scratch your skin, waking you back into consciousness. Your lower muscles start to relax around the massive member and allow for a smoother glide in and out. The numbness is gradually replaced by pleasant sensations. The throbbing reverberates inside your abdomen and your other leg wraps around the creature's hips, asking for more contact. Once your compliance is confirmed, the hand pinning you by the neck wanders to other parts of your body in starved desperation. Your voice returns and more lewd whines roll out one after another. If only you had a mirror so you could look at yourself in this moment. What shameless expressions are you wearing on your face? You're clinging to your violator in feverish depravity. And in return, the creature responds to your cravings with increased intensity. He seems to resonate with your wishes and stiffens his hold on you with newfound obsession. His thrusts become almost feral, with a certain possessiveness to it. 

As you're about to reach your peaks, your mind once again travels to the painting. You wonder if you'd be hung and framed just like the prisoners behind their executioner. Pleasure mixed with guilt. 

What sin is eroding your entrails? 

[imagining-in-the-margins]

CM Wrong Recipient Writing Challenge 🎁

Hey everyone, I’m back with another monthly challenge! For the months of November AND December, I am formally challenging any willing writer to take a stab at writing fanfiction including a Wrong/Mistaken Recipient using their choice of Criminal Minds characters! Reader, Original Character, Character/Characterships, Gen/Platonicfics are allowed! Please check out the Rules below the Keep Reading.

There are a LOT of prompts below the cut, so keep going!

(**This is NOT a request list for me—this is a prompt list of other writers! Feel free to request from someone else, and be sure to let them know about the challenge!)

SFW Prompts 🙈

The BAU arrests the wrong person

The flower delivery guy really messes things up

Character grabs the wrong person to kiss at NYE

Character leaves a voicemail for the wrong person

Character grabs the wrong person’s hand in public

Character receives an awkward text from an unknown number (or one they haven’t spoken to in a long time)

Character throws a snowball at their friend… but misses (and hits their crush/an attractive stranger instead)

Talking to different people on multiple phone lines can get really confusing

Somehow Character got on someone's super silly Christmas Card mailing list

There’s a mixup of notebooks and Character finds writings/drawings... of them

Character receives a package they weren't expecting and finds an even more unexpected item inside

The team recounts all the times Penelope said something inappropriate to the wrong person on the phone

Character has been sending messages to their loved one after they passed (they never expected a response)

Character pulls a prank against a fun-loving coworker, but their significantly less playful coworker triggers it

Character leaves an anonymous letter confessing their love, but the recipient insists it can’t be for them

Character enlists Penelope’s help in hacking into someone’s device to delete an unintended message

Anything else you can think of!

Keep Reading for more Prompts and the Challenge Rules!

Dialogue Prompts 🙉

“Oh, God. Wrong house.”

“New phone, who’s this?”

“So… who is (intended recipient name)?”

“Baby, I can be whoever you want me to be.”

“Any chance we can pretend you didn’t see that?”

“No matter what you do, do NOT open that.” “Too late.”

“I’m not complaining, but I don’t think that was for me.”

“What’s the point of the unsend button if it tells them that I unsent something?!”

“This is definitely the wrong number but, seriously, did you think that line would work?”

“I actually can come to the phone right now with a very special message that your mother is a—!”

NSFW Prompts 🙊

Character is a stripper at the wrong party

Character receives scandalous selfies from a coworker

Characters buy books together but take the wrong ones home (at least one of them is erotica)

Character wanted to gift a friend a sex toy as a joke and they used the same wrapping paper for their crush’s gift

Character sends their friend a detailed review of their recent sexual encounter… and accidentally sends it to the person they’re reviewing

There’s confusion and two BAU members end up with the same hotel room (Character walks in to find their coworker completely nude)

Character is waiting for an unsub in a confessional booth (the unsub doesn't show, but someone else confesses unholy thoughts)

Rules

Your fic can be a Reader insert, an Original Character, a character/character ship, a platonic ship, or a Gen fic. It can feature any Criminal Minds character. AUs and crossovers are more than welcome.

Tag me in the fic, or send the link to me in a Direct Message. It can be already written, or you can write it for the challenge - I collect both! You can also tag “#mentioningmargins”

The fic can be any genre, but ONLY send me smut if your bio states you are 18+. I DO NOT WANT smut written by minors. Ever. At all. I will check. Platonic ships and pure, fluffy fics are 100% allowed. Please also include some indication of rating if it is NSFW.

Please include Content Warnings and a one-sentence Summary of the fic in your post. For xReader fics, PLEASE specify if your reader is Female, Male, or Gender Neutral.

Have fun!

The Masterlist of fics will be posted around December 30 If you finish after that, no problem - just send me the fic once you’re done and I’ll add it after-the-fact!

Feel free to message me if you want help developing a plot, have any questions, or just want to gush about your fic. I’m happy to help, and I’m happy you’re here ❤️

[burst-of-iridescent]

well since i can already tell that we’re all going to be subjected to the same old tired mai & mai.ko discourse for the foreseeable future, let’s get it clear right now that the atla comics have never been, and will never be acceptable mediums of character development, and here’s why:

1. the comics are given the benefit of hindsight, which impairs organic character growth.

it’s become extremely clear over the last few years that many of the comics are made as, or include, direct responses to criticisms of the original show — especially when it comes to katara, mai, and the canon pairings. aang didn’t ask katara for consent? look, he’s checking if he can kiss her! mai doesn’t care about fire nation imperialism? here, she’s an anti fascist! iroh was a creep to june? don’t worry, here he is apologising!

many of the things the characters do or say in the comics feel unnatural because they are not written as characters, but as mouthpieces for the creators to address fandom complaints from the original show.

“but that’s good, right? they’re trying to make it better!” i mean… sure? it still doesn’t change the fact that it’s damage control, and that no matter what stories span the middle, the arcs of these characters still begin and end with avatar: the last airbender, and the legend of korra, both of which are fixed and immutable. the comics cannot retroactively fix the issues of either show, because they’ve already been defined as the goalposts of the characters’ lives, and there is no way to undo that.

it’s like if you eat a meal that isn’t to your satisfaction, and maybe the chief makes you another dish, which is all well and good — but it doesn’t fix the fact that the original meal still sucked! sometimes, accepting criticism means accepting that there’s no way to go back and fix it but to do better next time, with the next story you wish to tell.

if the legend of korra didn’t exist, and the arcs of the characters were left open after atla, then maybe there would be for the room for the comics to function as character development if not for the fact that…

2. the comics are intended for a very different audience than the show.

it’s obvious that the audience for the original show vastly outnumbers the audience for the comics, likely by thousands, if not millions. this isn’t the mcu, where the installation of any atla property is vital to understanding the next, and so on. you can skip the comics and miss nothing whatsoever (and honestly your life would be far improved by doing so).

those who read the comics are likely only the real diehard fans of the show — and the creators know this, which is why we have the whole issue of point one above. but this difference in audience matters, because it reflects the significance of the story being told, and how important it is for the audience to know it. this is why, if the characters’ development and storylines in the comics truly, genuinely mattered, it would have been in the show already.

i’m not saying that the gaang wouldn’t have continued to grow and change post-atla, but generally stories exist as closed circuits, self-contained within themselves. when you end atla, you’re meant to believe that those arcs are finished. that’s the whole reason the comics deal mostly with fun silly adventures, or with quick, temporary conflicts instead of grand, overarching narratives, because they are not truly meant to function as a continuation of the story of atla, or its characters.

(if you ask me frankly, they’re meant to be nostalgia cash grabs, but that’s neither here nor there.)

creator intention matters with the atla comics (or any atla property, in fact), because creator intention was the subject of criticism for the original show in the first place. why must we rely on the comics or the cookbook or avatar legends to tell us that katara did things with her life outside of aang? why do we need to turn to something released nearly two decades after atla to find any evidence that mai denounced the fire nation’s imperialist indoctrination, when she’s romantically involved with one of the show’s most important characters? why are these stories relegated to a medium with far less reach, far too late?

the answer is that the writers didn’t find those stories to be originally worth telling, and that is the real problem fans have been pointing out since 2008.

so, tldr:

[marvel-snape-writes]

Hellooo there 🥺 I’m in dire need of some soft Dom snape where him and fem!reader have super loving soft sex like I need comfort smut pretty pls🥺😭

Nothing But You

Severus Snape x original female character

5.8k+ words

18+ fluffy and soft but OH MY IS THERE DETAILED SMUT 🤭

Thank you to the person who requested this, I hope I did your request somewhat justice! 😁

Severus Snape had been waiting for her to return to his chamber from the moment she had previously left. Though their relationship was not yet public knowledge throughout Hogwarts, it was their preferred place to meet up for whatever desirable occasion they saw fit at the time. Thankfully, it was the weekend, which meant the time they got to spend alone increased dramatically. However, once she had entered his chamber, it quickly became apparent that her day had not been good. That was the reasoning for Severus whisking them both away to a large country hotel, under a different name to which he had been given at birth in order to avoid any spying eyes. It was also the reason the large bath in the exceptionally large bathroom had been drawn and rose petals been scattered upon request.

Though it was no secret that Severus often carried a blunt, sharp tongue, it was also no secret that he paid a tremendous attention to detail to things, either. And that was no exception to knowing how to brighten the day of the woman who had done the same to him in so many of his times of darkness.

“Severus?” Said woman called from the bathroom, immediately gaining his attention and bringing him to the doorway.

“Everything alright?” He asked softly, smiling as he gazed upon her.

She nodded and returned the smile contently, “Just making sure this isn't a dream.”

“How so?” Severus asked as he stepped into the bathroom, enjoying the way her eyes looked him up and down in his hotel robe.

“To go from one of the worst, most hectic weeks to… this.” She gestured at the bubbles settled on top of the water.

“I did not wish to see you upset a moment longer.” Severus crinkled his hooked nose, now standing by the side of the bath.

“And you intended in cheering me up by telling me I need a wash?” She teased, looking up at him.

“Very funny,” He rolled his eyes playfully, shaking his head, “Only to wash away this treacherous week, perhaps.”

“Oh, you’d need a waterfall to do that.” She half laughed, her eyes still upon him as he crouched by the side of the bath.

“Then, waterfalls…” His voice trailed off briefly as their lips touched for a moment, “…you shall have, my darling.”

“Actually, on second thoughts… forget the waterfalls.” She whispered against his lips, reaching one of her arms out of the soapy bath water and placing her wet hand against his cheek to bring him closer to her.

Severus’ eyes closed and he placed one of his hands on the side of the bath to steady himself as their heads tilted in either direction. Their lips parted slightly and each of them made a soft noise as the kiss deepened, noses nudging against one another. Her fingers began to push into his hair as their tongues touched and Severus leaned further into the bath, gripping the side of it a little tighter.

“Any further and you’ll have me in there with you,” Severus chuckled softly against her lips.

“Do not tempt me, Sev…” She grinned, continuing to twirl his hair around her fingers as he leaned in to kiss her again.

Severus genuinely thought about it for a moment, the idea of how he could very easily slip into the bathtub regardless of whether he was clothed or not, and just devour her right there. But that wasn't the way he wanted to go about things tonight. He certainly had ideas in mind, even ideas that may end up in them both needing to freshen up afterward, but he didn't just want a needy three-minute wonder tonight, splashing around in the bath tub. He wanted to help her forget the horrific week she had had. Instead of a one-aim desperation, he wished to explore her, be tender with her, kiss and caress every inch of her. Adore her.

“The bathtub simply does not hold the amount of space I require for the things I wish to do to you tonight.” Severus whispered in the lowest tone he could manage, his voice carrying with it some seductive mystery.

“Oh?” She opened her eyes to greet him with a suspicious expression, though found that he had already stood up and began to make his way out of the bathroom.

He smirked to himself as he readjusted his robe whilst standing in the bedroom, clearing his throat and highly anticipating her joining him. His mind whirred with want and desire of how he intended the rest of the night to pan out; the gentle way he wanted to wash away every ounce of stress and hold her in a way that no harm could ever come to her again.

“Ah, the ever mysterious Severus Snape…” Her voice lingered from behind him as she stepped into the room.

“Come here to me,” He spoke softly, gesturing for her to join him in front of the full length mirror and smiling at her through the reflection when she did, “The ever elegant Eleanor…” He whispered as his hands set upon her hips.

“Does the mirror turn this bathrobe into a ball gown for you?” She blushed, trying to skim over his compliment with a joke.

“A ball gown is not needed for me to be drawn to you, my love,” His lips teased against her ear, kissing it gently before planting a gentle kiss to her neck, “Nothing is,” His hands now rested over the ties of her robe as their eyes locked in the mirror, “Not even this.”

Eleanor’s breath caught in her throat from the feeling of Severus’ lips brushing against the side of her neck and she placed her hands over his large ones, tilting her head to one side. She fought to keep her eyes open as his lips began to linger longer upon her skin with each kiss and he paid no mind to her hair still being damp from the bath. He smirked when he felt her hands nudging his closer to the knot in her bathrobe, lightly grazing his teeth against her ear.

Without a moment of hesitation, he began to lazily pull at the tassels tied around her waist. His lips met with the crook of her neck and her hands moved from his to allow him full access whilst reaching behind to play with his hair. Slowly, the tassels became undone and dropped to either side of her body, the only thing holding her bathrobe together now being from Severus’ arms wrapped snugly around her.

“Arms down and open your eyes for me,” He whispered softly, lifting his head so that he was facing the mirror with her again. She did as he asked and her arms were soon by her sides again, the both of them now watching as her bathrobe parted in the reflection. Severus’ hands carefully guided the thin material off her shoulders, his black pupils growing more and more dilated as each inch of her skin began to show, “You are so fucking beautiful.”

The noise that left Eleanor’s lips after his comment only made Severus’ cravings stronger. He kissed up the side of her neck again as her robe fell to the floor completely, enjoying the feeling of her fingers entwined in his hair again. His lips tickled against her jawline as his arms wrapped around her bare body, lingering there for a little while until Eleanor tilted her head upward and pressed their lips together. Severus made a soft noise and kissed her back instantly, his hands now exploring more of her body as their kisses grew deeper.

Severus took one last glance at her naked body in the full length mirror before his eyes fell shut completely, already feeling the effect of her bare body and lips tingling in the pit of his stomach. Eleanor brushed herself back against the bump threatening to part through his bathrobe. His breathing quivered and his lips parted when she turned around to face him properly. Her hands placed upon his chest and he settled his on her bare hips, tilting his head to one side as their tongues touched. Eleanor’s fingers began to slide down the front of his body until they were met with the knot of his robe, trying her best to ignore the ever-growing bump beneath it. Severus groaned quietly when he felt her hand brush against his cock from over the thin material, lightly grasping her bottom lip between his teeth and feeling his hands upon her grow clammy. Eleanor grasped the knot with one hand and tauntingly massaged him from over his robe with the other as they devoured one another’s lips, almost steaming up the mirror from the desperation alone.

Eleanor began to undo the knot on his robe with her trembling hands and Severus could feel himself already beginning to slip under the effect she always caused him, taking everything in him not to moan from her touch. He hesitantly broke the kiss, pulled back, swallowed hard, and spoke in the most soft, gentle tone, “Stop.”

“Sorry?” Eleanor whispered, placing her hands flat on his chest again and gazed up at him with her eyebrows narrowed, “Did I do something wrong?”

“Absolutely not,” Severus shook his head and leaned down to kiss her again, now cupping her face in both of his large hands.

“Then, wh-” She began before kissing him back again.

“Shh…” Severus whispered against her lips, kissing her again, “Just let me…”

Eleanor began to walk backward, lightly grasping onto the lapels of his robe as she spoke in between kisses, “Let you…?”

“Let me love you tonight,” He nipped at her lips gently, kissing her slightly harder when her back touched the dresser and they both stopped walking, “I mean properly love you.”

Eleanor nodded in response and hopped up onto the dresser, snaking her arms around his neck and bringing his face closer to her so that the kiss wouldn't break. She parted her legs and he slotted himself between them, only breaking the kiss to press his lips to the side of her neck as his hands lightly rubbed back and forth over her bare thighs. Eleanor’s lips parted and she moaned out his name, sending shivers down his spine.

“Mmmh, Sev,” She whimpered, weakly tugging at his bathrobe, “Just have your way with me.”

Severus pulled his lips back with a shaky breath, failing to speak for a few moments as a result of her request and feeling the pulsing erection between his legs becoming more and more aggravated by the second.

“Sev?” She whispered, gazing up at him and biting her lip as she pulled the ties of his bathrobe loose. Severus squeezed her thighs gently as he felt the cool draft now upon his bare skin and Eleanor’s eyes widened, setting themselves upon the engorged arousal casting an impressive shadow over his lower stomach and then looking back up into his eyes, “Please?”

“My love, you need not plead with me,” Severus was snapped out of his trance, barely able to disguise how much more the way she was acting drove him wild, “But not here,” He swept her up into his arms, “You deserve far more than a three-minute knee-trembler upon a hotel room dresser.”

“Take me to your bed, then!” She giggled, holding onto his shoulders, “I insist.”

“Our bed.” Severus responded, gently laying her down on it and casting his eyes upon her with an expression as if he had never seen such beauty.

When Eleanor gazed up she felt quite the same. To say the man who was often so cold with others was now the same man who was towering over her and gazing down upon her with such pure, lustful eyes was barely believable. He slowly lowered himself over her and their lips touched once more, each of them making a soft noise as their bare torsos pressed against each other. Eleanor wasted no time in starting to push Severus’ bathrobe off him completely and lightly grazing her nails against his bare back once it fell to the side of the bed.

“Mmm…” Severus moaned quietly from the soothing feeling of her nails against his back mixed with her breasts pressing against his naked body.

Eleanor smirked from his reactions and tilted her head to the side as he began to kiss along her jawline before peppering his lips down the side of her neck. She parted her legs a little further and moved one of her hands into the hair at the nape of his neck, playing with it shakily as his lips met her collarbone. She whimpered out his name quietly as he suckled on the skin, leaving dark, red circles upon it before moving his lips to one of her breasts.

“S—Sev- oh!” She narrowed her eyebrows and gently pulled on his hair as he kissed her as tenderly as possible, taking care not to miss an inch of her breast whatsoever whilst massaging the other with his palm, “Th… that’s nice, Severus…” She whimpered, her lips parting again as he alternated breasts, taking just as much care with each and enjoying how she arched her body in pleasure beneath him, “Mm, I don’t know which one of us is enjoying this more…” She spoke breathlessly with a grin when she felt his hardened cock prodding against her each time he moved.

“Tonight is all about you,” Severus spoke as he pulled back briefly, “It is always about you, my love.” He spoke close enough so that his cool breath purposefully breezed over the red marks that were now upon her breasts, feeling himself pulse at the sound of her reaction.

Before Eleanor even had a chance to respond, Severus’ lips were upon her stomach and trailing their way down to her bellybutton. Her hand slipped from his hair as he kissed along her sensitive skin and stretched out one of her legs, feeling herself tremble as his lips made it to her lower stomach.

“Mm, what a lovely offer…” He whispered when he saw the movement of her leg out of the corner of his eye and immediately latched his lips upon the skin of her inner thigh.

Eleanor’s hand quickly found his head again and she whimpered in pleasure as she felt him create a pathway of kisses from her thigh all the way down to her ankle. Once he had reached back to her thigh again, he stuck his tongue out and lightly traced the tip of it along her skin, earning several soft noises from her as a result.

“Come… come up here, Sev…” She spoke shakily, though not really wanting him to part with her skin.

“Oh, no, my dear, you are mistaken…” Severus glanced up at her briefly, shaking his head.

“M-Mistaken?” Eleanor blinked hard, leaning up on her elbows.

“I am afraid you have mistaken me for a man who believes that only one half of your body deserves to be adored,” He spoke gently, not even hesitating in pressing his lips now to the other inner thigh and smirking darkly against her skin when he felt her hand grasp back onto his hair as she guided him all the way down that leg and back up again.

“You should be thrown in Azkaban for having lips that soft.” Eleanor spoke whilst lazily grazing her nails against his scalp.

“That seems a little… dramatic.” Severus half laughed, looking up at her.

“At least then I would sleep easy knowing that no one else could ever claim them.” She bit her lip, looking down at him with a grin.

Severus let out a singular chuckle from her comment and playfully rolled his eyes whilst taking a deep breath, “Would you like to know something?”

“Yes?” Eleanor narrowed her eyes playfully suspiciously.

“You could offer me all the riches and jewellery in the world, Miss Eleanor,” He lowered himself onto his knees on the floor at the bottom of the bed, placing his large hands on her thighs and carefully pulling her to the edge of the bed with him, “But it would still be your legs around my neck that I would favour as my favourite necklace and your ankles as my earrings.”

Before Eleanor could even think of words to say, her head was tilted back and her eyes closed as a result of Severus burying his face between her legs. It was as if his mouth had been trained in knowing exactly where she craved for it to go, lightly digging her heels into his shoulder blades as he worked his tongue.

“Mm, fuck, Severus…” She gasped in pleasure and reached down to bunch his hair in her fist.

His tongue taunted her further and she arched her back again, making Severus wonder how much longer he could take this himself, let alone her. His cock was pulsating madly with each moan, each taste, each grasp and tug on his hair, her heels digging deeper into his shoulder blades to urge him not to stop. He didn't. Not until she would instruct him to, anyway. He fought through every urge to just reach down and take himself into his own grip, just to have a little stroke in order to not make him feel like he was completely neglected. Instead, his hands remained against her thighs, massaging them gently in his grip as she writhed in pleasure above him.

“Ugh, Sev, I- I want…” She spoke out of breath, pausing to let out a moan that made Severus’ heart skip a beat before continuing, “W-Want you up here…”

“Hm?” Severus pulled back after she spoke, lazily kissing along her inner thighs.

“Up here…” She groaned, “Now.”

“Yes, my dear?” Severus smiled softy as he stood up again, gazing down at her.

“Oh, fuck, look at you…” Her lips parted as her eyes were met with his angry erection, her eyes widening also.

“Me?” He arched a brow, “Look at you.”

“But… you’re all worked up, too…” She knew her cheeks were flushed, barely able to even avert her eyes to his.

“Do not worry about me, Miss Eleanor,” He lowered himself down, pressing a light kiss to either corner of her lips, “I told you; it’s all about you.”

Eleanor’s hands shut immediately when their lips pressed together, grazing her nails up his back and up into the hair at the nape of his neck again. Severus placed one hand at the side of her on the bed once they had shuffled their way back up it and brushed her hair out of her face with the other. The tips of their tongues touched and Eleanor hooked her legs around his hips, rocking herself up against him.

“P-Please…” She whined softly, trying to stress her need further by pressing one of her hands now against his bottom, “I need you…” She panted, continuing to kiss him, “Need you.”

“I’m right here, my sweet,” He pulled back ever so slightly, cupping her cheek in one of his hands and lightly running his thumb across her lips, “See?”

“You know what I mean…” She spoke against his thumb, biting it gently.

“Pace yourself for me, my love,” Severus smiled softly, reaching down to line himself up with her, “To love you is the most treasured part of my day, so let’s make it last as long as possible, hm?”

“Stop being so bloody charming.” She spoke through a breathy laugh.

Severus exhaled a chuckle and gently nipped at her lips before kissing her properly as he pushed forward, their hips melting into one another with an in-sync gasp. Severus felt a shiver ring out down his spine as his aching length finally got some snug attention, already having to remind himself to pace himself, never mind asking Eleanor to do so.

His thrusts began at a steady rhythm, but Eleanor’s moans directly against his lips told a different story. Her legs squeezed around him and their kisses became clumsy, teeth almost clattering as she whimpered against his lips.

“Severus!” She cried, lightly digging her nails into one of his shoulders the moment she lifted her hips up to meet his.

“Mmmh, yes?” Severus parted the kiss briefly and gazed down at her, “Everything okay, my sweet?”

“Ugh, yes, yes…” She gasped in pleasure, rocking herself up against him again.

“Hey, listen,” Severus swallowed hard, trying to form a sentence whilst still moving his hips, “Listen to me,” His eyes fought to stay open as he watched her open hers, “Just take a breath.”

The words fell out of his mouth slightly hypocritically as he was struggling to catch his own breath. Their eyes met and he placed both of his hands at either sides of her head, lifting his torso up slightly and allowing for more ease of movement to his hips. Though they had spent many times at each other’s beds, he had never felt more intimate than right now. His lips parted and jaw clenched each time his length slid in and out of her with ease, greatly enjoying the high pitched whimpers coming from Eleanor’s mouth.

“Y…” She shivered in delight when he thrust his hips just a little harder, shakily sliding her hands up his biceps and watching in awe each time they tensed in time with his thrusts, “You…” Her eyebrows narrowed, feeling the loud ball of pleasure beginning to grow in her throat and unsure for how much longer she could hold it back.

“See?” He dipped his head, tenderly kissing her lips and whispering against them, “You’re fine,” He lifted his head back up, smiling softly as Eleanor’s fingertips lightly traced over his muscles as he continued to move, “It’s just you and me, Ellie…” His gaze fell to her still pursed lips, aching to kiss them again, “There’s no need to rush.”

“I want this to be forever, Sev.” Eleanor spoke against his lips as he lowered his head again, sliding her nails up the back of his neck and soothingly scratching his skin.

“If you so wish, it can be your always.” Severus replied, gently kissing her lips and very gradually speeding his hips up.

“Mm, I like the sound of that.” She smiled, resting her heels against his bottom and lightly pushing them into his skin.

Severus gripped the bedsheets at the sides of her head as his pace continued to build, ever so gently bucking his hips up into hers and earning a soft grunt from both of them each time. The flames of pleasure were beginning to climb both their bodies simultaneously, both of them moaning out of breath as their bodies writhed against one another. Eleanor’s grip tightened on his hair as a jolt of electricity shot through her body, causing her to tremble as the movements of his hips showed no sign of letting up. Beads of sweat began to gather upon his forehead — mostly, he thought, from how much he was trying to hold back letting go there and then.

“E-Eleanor, mmmh…” His lips lingered against hers longer between each kiss this time, feeling himself getting closer and closer to his own climax.

“I- I… ugh…” She lost her breath from his change in rhythm, unsure of how much longer she could last under his skilful hips.

She pressed one final, hard kiss to his lips before pushing her head back into the pillow and gasping in pleasure as she allowed herself to fall further victim to him and reaching her orgasm only moments later,

“S-Sev, oh, Severus!” She shouted out in pleasure, tightening her legs around him and tugging at his hair as her back lifted off the bed.

“Y-You’re going to be the death of me, E-Ellie,” He gasped, the tightening now around his cock being the last thing needed to push him fully over the edge, “I- I swear to… G-God!”

The two of them rode out the waves of their orgasms together, the walls of the hotel bedroom quickly becoming the sounding board for their pleasure. Beads of sweat transferred from one body to the other as they relentlessly moved against each other, desperate for this to never end. Their lips touched again, panting in between kisses at this point as their movements eventually began to slow down.

“Oh, how it feels to love you.” Severus sighed softly and rolled to her side on his back, reaching for one of her hands and lacing their fingers together as he rested them over his heart as his chest continued to rise and fall.

“Oh, how it feels to be loved.” She giggled, gazing over at him and gently squeezing his hand.

“Come here,” He narrowed his eyebrows, laying his other arm open for her, “Let us lay in our pool of sex together.”

“Oh, so your tongue isn't just good at being between my legs, hm? It can talk smoothly too,” She spoke sarcastically as she rolled on top of him, crinkling her nose at his eye roll response, “Thank you for today, Severus.”

“Are you thanking me or my cock?” Severus teased, pretending to huff.

“Don't forget your tongue.” Eleanor winked, letting out a singular chuckle.

“You should watch your own with suggestive words like that, Miss Eleanor.” Severus tried not to laugh.

“What do you suggest I do instead, hm?” Eleanor lifted her head, gently kissing his chin before gazing up at him.

“Sleep.” Severus shrugged, wrapping his arms around her snugly and pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head.

“What, like this?” Eleanor asked, looking around the bed before back at him, “No bedsheets?”

“Suits me,” Severus yawned, smiling sleepily as he gazed down at her, “To wake up wearing nothing but you is all I ever want.”

---

Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you think and remember my requests are always open! 😁🥰

Tags!: @sweeneytoddsmainbitch @dontrunannabelle @simp-manhwa @benedict-cbe @dracolilhoe @icytrickster17 @megladon045 @overgrownbat @liv2post @bratty-tingz @speedycupcakepaper @pinterestwhore145 @severinaprince @acupnoodle @hamiltonstann @honeyshampoo @bibliosophie @snifellus @eyesinmymindinmay @nidamae-approvedhpfanfics @hauntinq-6 @callm3c0nfus3d @wh0reforthemarauders @sorryimdyingrn @nooneeveryonenoone @mrs-snape5984 @vulnus-sanare @missgurlthang @thesecretsofseverussnape @evil-eyebrow @peppiloll @hazedwords @darlingvica @indigosparkle444 @sevprince-91 @dreamshopesfantasies @ficswjackson @secretpandaconnoisseur @dark-t1des @nyx-greenwood99 @serpentsbone @dark-tides-dungeon @marisimps @caprica99 @hisleastfavbrit (I tagged all that tumblr would allow me to, so if you’re name isn’t on there I’m so sorry 😭♥️)

[existentialterror]

ARG notes: ZampanioSim

Okay, a work this metafictional and also that (I think) responds to audience interaction is going to need a high-caliber gimmick. Hang on.

...

Alright. Hey guys, catfishAnabasis (Light) here, taking a moment out of my surprisingly busy day tell you about a weird thing on the internet.

ZampanioSim is an intricate and brainbending ARG. It takes direct inspiration from Homestuck, The Magnus Archives, and House of Leaves, as well as the creator (JR, jadedResearcher/justifiedRecursion)'s previous canon of Homestuck fan-work and games. A major theme is "unreality".

HERE IS YOUR TRAILHEAD.

Feel free to ignore the rest of the writeup and check it out now.

I know very little about JR's other work, right now. However, among my many INTERESTS, I am something of a TMA ENJOYER and an AMATEUR INTERNET INVESTIGATOR, and if I were in a HOUSE I like to think I could LEAVE it pretty easily.

So, yeah. I figured I'd just describe my experience of this rabbithole and maybe you'll want to check it out too. I'm sure this will only scratch the surface.

ZampanioSim is structured as a nested labyrinth. In the same way that:

Homestuck is a webcomic framed as an interactive adventure game about an account of kids playing a video game (Sgrub) that doesn't exist, and

House of Leaves is a novel framed as a found scholarly discussion about a documentary (The Navidson Record) that doesn't exist about a house that doesn't exist,

ZampanioSim is a game-based ARG framed as an attempt to simulate a game (Zampanio) that doesn't exist based on a found FAQ of the game (that only sort of exists).

More concretely, ZampanioSim features a lot of nested browser games, as well as audio, narrative, an actual audience-interactive narrative game (the way Homestuck was originally), external websites, and more.

The starting point is, of course, the House:

ZampanioSim takes full advantage of the browser as medium. There is content accessible via the address bar, developer tools, cookies (I think), the developer console, and probably more that I haven't realized.

Like, to give you a sense of the kind of rabbithole we're dealing with: Here's a map I made of the House outset page today:

...And I say today because the House does change over time. Today (a friday) when I clicked on the EastEast route, for instance, I was greeted by this grotesquely distorted version of Rebecca Black's "Friday":

Okay, let's talk about what we have going on in the House map, starting from the doors and working out. (I've given some of these my own names for clarity.)

North

The Classpect Menu Game:

This, I think, is the main titular "ZampanioSim". It's the part that's intended to recreate the experience of a supposed old computer game, but by and large, you only experience the menu screen, not the rest of the gameplay. You can select attributes (based on Homestuck's Classpecting system + the Magnus Archives fears) gain points and select skills and (depending on your seed) eventually "beat the game". It's glitchy, it's a hellscape, there's an entity or two in the menu system that are trying to talk to you. It's great fun. Contains links to a rabbithole (which you can plug passwords into for more secrets) and + some secrets to you in the credits.

(While mostly the aspects seem to add flavor to the menu options, there's a special class called "Waste". This appears in neither TMA nor Homestuck, but comes from a fan or meta-joke that Andrew Hussie and Toby Fox, the writer and a major composer for Homestuck, are classpected* as the "Waste of Space" and "Waste of Time". By telling it you're a "Waste"you're more likely to get weird glitches and new options in your Classpect Menu game run - there's a fun recurring element in some of these games about the game changing depending on who you tell it is playing. I learned about the Waste trick from JR's youtube channel. Also, setting your birthday as Halloween might also do something.)

I have no idea if the different iterations of games here are substantially different. I haven't checked. There's a lot going on. "There's a lot going on" is a good summary of ZampanioSim overall.

*( Uh, classpecting is this in-Homestuck personality system where game players are a [Role] of [Element].)

Eyedlr: Eyedol Games is the company that supposedly made the original game Zampanio. Eyedlr is their spambot-filled tumblr clone, which also has secrets in it. (Actually, just assume everything has secrets out.)

East

The House Exploration game: It has the same setup screen as the Classpect Menu game, but this one drops you into a game with visuals: An infinite(?) procedural house you navigate with imagery derived from your choices.

Peewee's exploration game: When it's not blasting Rebecca Black's Friday But Weird into your ears, the EastEast route is another procedural infinite(?) maze, except that you type directions to Peewee, a snake guy with goggles who also moves around on his own. This one also introduces named characters we learn more about elsewhere.

Bathroom text: Procredural bathroom maze, unless it's just some text telling you to take a break. ZampanioSim really likes telling you to take breaks and hydrate, so that you can better appreciate and spread Zampanio.

Absolutely not. Also, I'm a busy woman. I have to finish this writing summary first.

South

The Train Game: a game - notably not a maze - where JR walks down a series of train corridors and monologues to you about the game and the "reality" behind it.

The mazecrawler game: You tell a little guy how to navigate an infinite(?) maze - and if you choose right and open up your browser's Console menu, you can learn a great deal more about

West

The only West route is AdventureSimWest, which is an actual text narrative game where readers submit commands that the author incorporates into updates - just like early Homestuck. It's still going. The logs are extensive but it's mostly about the antics of a new employee at Eyedol Games, which is stuck in a time loop.

Other

Then there's some other scattered clickable text -

The truth about alt: An exchange between two shapeshifters.

A transcript: A dialogue between two people who apparently work for Eyedol Games.

The lower left leads you to an apparently rotating selection of other Zampanio-related games. I particularly liked NagaGirlfriend.

None of this is even the stuff you can reach this page exclusively through the Console menu.

And much more

And there's a lot of stuff that's NOT branching directly off of the house. There's other things you find buried in links or by searching - a discord and a wiki that both straddle the line between in-character and -out, Archive of Our Own content, a youtube channel, the Eyedol website...

Is there a "story" to ZampanioSim?

Yes.

Like I said, there's a lot I haven't seen yet. But what's going on is something like this:

JR is attempting to recreate this game, Zampanio, of course, and tap into its fanbase. The game Zampanio is an infectious meme. Eyedol Games is a transdimensional company that is perhaps both trying to spread the meme and contain it, by removing its spores, e.g. the Zampanio FAQ - the thing that inspired JR to make ZampanioSim - from the internet.

Various parts of the game recognize that they are fictional and may identify you the reader/player as "Observers".

There are a few recurring characters who have gotten swept up into the meme, either working for Eyedol or trapped in ZampanioSim or both, and have followed it from variant to transdimensional variant.

(this is an image from homestuck. it's a reference.)

Japes aside, this is a brain-bending, very cool, and completely ludicrous unfiction project which I believe is made mostly by one person with an unparalleled hand for web sorcery, whimsy, and vibes. The vibes are so good.

The host website, Farrago Fiction (which AFAICT is a multi-person project), hosts a number of often-homestuck-inspired weird games and simulators.

I know ZampanioSim is now a few years old and is still actively updating. Consider checking it out.

2024-08-24 edit: Part 2!

[serpentface]

Ohh, is there any more about the sacrificial bullfights? Are there costumes?

It has no costume whatsoever and in fact stands out as one of the Least costumed rites there are. The fighter is completely nude save for carrying a pure white cloak (which is used to provoke the bull in the process of tiring it, and is only actually Worn at the end of the rite should the fighter survive). They're also painted blue. Looks like this.

The skimmer-woman necklace is for good luck, he's going to need it.

It's one of the much older, more localized traditions that has been integrated into the Faith of the Seven Faced God. It originated in the Ephenni tribe and variants on the base theme (a ritual fight to the death between a young man and a bull) have been practiced for at least 900 years.

The purposes of the original rite were very different from its modern incarnation, and were linked to Ephenni kingship. The fighter was always an unwed Ephenni prince, the bull would be an established domestic bull that has sired many offspring. The fight between the prince and the bull was a symbolic 'killing' of his predecessor, initiating the boy into manhood and signalling that he is ready to take the former king's place. It was not a yearly occurrence and was instead an aspect of coronation, with each transition of power beginning in the new year (marked by the planting of maize, the staple crop). Ephenni kings were also high priests and (among many other functions) spiritually protected the crops, the prince's first action after his initiation would be to bless the freshly planted maize.

Over centuries, this practice became Directly associated with the wellbeing of the maize via animal sacrifice, and then was forcibly removed from its kingmaking functions altogether when the Ephenni were occupied by Imperial Bur and their kings killed. The practice of bull-fighting for exclusively corn-blessing purposes continued during and after Burri occupation, and would ultimately be brought into the broader Wardi milieu when Ephennos, Odkotonnos, and Wardin allied and conquered most of their neighbors, forming the beginnings of Imperial Wardin.

Its present incarnation is a yearly rite, observed at the festival that celebrates the planting of the maize (still a staple crop in most of the region). It is functionally a Fertility Rite, intended to bless the crop and observed for signs of how this year's growth will turn out, but it's also highly celebratory and spectacular in nature, not just a solemn religious occasion. It could be argued as a form of human sacrifice in that it is Very dangerous and not infrequently fatal for the fighter, and the death of the human is an acceptable outcome that can impart the same blessings.

---

The fighter is always a 'beardless youth' (usually 16-20), chosen from the unwed sons of noblemen. The fighter will have been trained as a warrior (default for most boys, especially nobility) and is chosen for bravery, health, and strength. But he is Highly unlikely to have experience as a bullfighter (at best, may have rehearsed with domestic cattle) and will rely on instruction and good luck. He is also given a drink of consecrated strong liquor immediately beforehand, which does have ritual elements but serves the practical purpose of lowering the probable teenager's inhibitions and making him less fearful.

The fight takes place in farmland surrounding the city, in a fenced off ring. The fighter and bull are placed together in the arena. He is armed with only the cloak and the dagger. He will have to evade the bull's attacks (using the cloak to goad and direct its charges) and gradually wound it until the animal is weakened from blood loss and exhaustion, and a killing blow can be made. The movements and the behavior of the bull are used to discern signs for the future of the crop- a more aggressive bull is a good sign (indicating a strong, healthy crop and good harvest), a bull that spends most of its time attempting to flee or behaves indifferently is a bad sign.

If all goes right, the fighter will manage to injure and tire the bull until it can be dealt a fatal wound. The rite is now successful. Its throat is slit, and the fighter soaks his cloak in its blood. The rest spills into the earth and nourishes the farmland. The fighter is garbed with the cloak and garlanded, and led on khaitback out through the fields to bless the crop while the festivities kick off. He will preside over the rest of the festival in a place of honor, and is celebrated by the attendants. The bull is cleaned and cooked whole for the feast, and the fighter distributes its meat to high ranking attendants (often giving out the best parts to specific people- family, public figures, women he is courting and/or flirting with, etc).

If the fighter is killed, he has ritually taken the bull's place. The rite is now successful. His blood is spilled by attendant priests and his cloak is soaked, the rest nourishes the earth. The bull is restrained, garbed with the cloak and garlanded, and led in procession back out through the fields, blessing the crops in its passing. It is then released among free ranging cattle (often in estrus at this time of year) in hopes it will mate with some, which is highly auspicious and additionally blesses the herds (and eventually makes up for the loss of the bull's meat at the feast). The fighter has died a good death and his blood has blessed the crop, he is given a lavish public funeral and cremation, and the women in attendance honor him with wailing.

The rite fails if it ends in a 'draw', where one is unable to kill the other. Most frequently this occurs when the fighter is non-mortally wounded and the bull ceases its attack. This failure is not regarded as catastrophic or dooming the crop, rather a warning that proper actions have not been taken and amends must be made. The bull is released without ceremony, a yearling domestic bull is sacrificed in its stead (without the additional crop blessing procession, and its body is cremated rather than butchered and served), libations of its blood and wine are poured onto the crops, and the fighter takes no further place in the festivities.

---

This ritual has been heavily reinterpreted to fit with the Faith of the Seven Faced God. It is framed as a rite to Mitlamache and officiated by Galenii high priests. It exclusively uses wild aurochs rather than domestic bulls (as a representation of Mitlamache and of wild fertile earth on which the crop grows). It still occurs in the farmland of the city of Ephennos as part of a seasonal maize festival, but is considered to bless all of God's lands (not just the Ephenni crop). This festival occurs regionwide, but the bullfighting at Ephennos is the only Official enactment of this rite (other towns, cities, and villages often include nonfatal sport bullfighting with domestic cattle in their festivities instead).

The original meaning of the blue body paint has been lost to the ages, but are reinterpreted through the lens of the contemporary faith by being made with blue amenchalme (amenchalme is a consecrated paste of ground maize, salt, wine, and oil, in this case mixed with water and blue pigment). This blue amenchalme is the same material Galenii priests wear on their foreheads during rites (you've seen a couple drawings of Tigran wearing these).

The older practice of butchering and eating the sacrificed bull is retained in its modern incarnation, which is a major outlier among most other official sacrifices in the Faith (in which certain parts of the body may be saved as holy relics, but the flesh and blood is NOT eaten and IS the offering). The spilled blood specifically is framed as the sole offering, and the death of the bull and survival of the boy is an indicator that it has been accepted and that its body may be given back to nourish the people directly.

Full nudity (which is taboo in most contexts) is also retained from the older practice, in keeping with other attemptively transformative rites involving the human body being made intentionally vulnerable via nudity. The fighter being seen fully naked cements the notion that he has been temporarily Transformed in triumph over the bull, granted the ability to impart blessings and lead the ceremony when his body's integrity is restored and clothed in the bloody cloak.

Notably, in spite of being ostensibly a human sacrifice, fighters who die in this rite are not considered sacrificed saints (a status generally relegated to those killed in the dry season offering), though are still believed to have died a good death and granted a place of honor in the afterlife among other esteemed dead.

[eeldritchblast]

Lae'zel is Autistic

(Note: This post was written by someone with professionally diagnosed autism. A lot of what I'm about to say of Lae'zel, I can personally relate to! This is not intended as negativity or hatred of her character; rather, it is one of the reasons I adore her.)

-----

I really don't like that the writers have attempted to tone down Lae'zel's "rudeness" perceived by the larger fanbase. It reminds me too much of how "rudeness" is so often less about hostility and more about one's ability to perform social interactions to the standards of neurotypical people. So for the writers to decide that Lae'zel is too "rude" for not saying her please and thank yous every time she speaks, for being direct, for struggling to have two-sided conversations... well, to me, that's just saying that there was something wrong with her they felt the need to fix. I spent years with people trying to "fix" me in special ed. To teach me how to present as neurotypical, like memorizing appropriate responses to common questions, and pretending to hold eye contact by looking at people's lips. While I will admit it helps me in the workplace for example to perform these things, it also taught me to hate myself for being faulty in the first place. That's something I still struggle with to this day. So when a character like Lae'zel comes along, who I can relate to in her coded autism, I don't want to see her changed. I want to see her celebrated.

Here are some of the signs of autism I've noticed in Lae'zel:

Difficulty regulating and understanding emotion:

Lae'zel is a very passionate person, and can get carried away by that passion. At the same time, she is not very good at self-inventory of her emotions. After she defies Vlaakith in Act 3, she asks the player to help her understand what she is feeling, because she cannot place it herself.

Directness:

As said above, Lae'zel is vert blunt in the way she communicates. If you've picked up the game only in later patches, let me tell you that she was originally even more so. If the player asks Lae'zel why she is the way she is, she says it's just because she is githyanki. While I certainly think some of this could be attributed to a difference in culture, we meet other githyanki, and they do not carry the same speech and manner she has.

Taking things literally:

Lae'zel equally does not understand indirectness from others, or idioms. For example, when Shadowheart asks if they have "buried the hatchet" between them, (an American idiom to mean "making peace" which by the way, is not a very appropriate idiom,) she answers with "why would I bury a weapon?" Again, this could be attributed to a difference in background, but nonetheless something to relate to.

Dislike of small talk:

Literally the first thing Lae'zel says to you after you recruit her is, "chatter already? Tas'ki."

Inflection:

Lae'zel is voiced with minimal modulation of intonation or pitch. As such, she sounds monotone and serious, even when the words she says are lighthearted or joking.

Difficulty handling change of routine/expectancy:

When things do not go as Lae'zel is determined they are supposed to go--for example, the machine she thinks will remove her tadpole not working as she believed it would--she has wild, uncontrolled outbursts.

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There's probably even more one could list here, but for now I'm done. I may edit this later, though.

[somebodys-nightmare]

Understanding the Romantic Narrative Arcs in Final Fantasy VII

There has been no shortage of discourse surrounding the “Love Triangle Debate”, (a fan-constructed term, I must inform you) of FFVII for a very long time. Most recently, with the release of FFVII Rebirth, this discourse has intensified and led to a wide spectrum of fan conclusions that range from grounded in narrative sense to completely baseless or delusional. Some takes are attached to contemporary relationship issues, personal experience, comparisons to other media or works of fiction, social constructs or societal issues, personal preference, or a lack of full context.

While any piece of media or fiction is subject to some level of interpretation (this is the very nature of humans consuming works of art), most works are created with intentional narrative direction. In fact, many works are formulaic, especially in genres such as fantasy, romance, mystery, etc. While of course there are always exceptions and deviations, as a writer and former English literature teacher I can say that most stories follow a general narrative structure or arc that makes them digestible and satisfying to readers/audiences. Such arcs impact the main, external, internal, and subplots of a story, as well as individual character arcs and character relationship arcs.

Final Fantasy is no different. While there are other cultural influences as FFs are Japanese stories, my experience with the series is the writing generally follows most storytelling conventions that can be found in all forms of archetypal writing, cross-culturally and generationally. FFVII is often accused of being ambiguous or open-ended in many aspects of its story. I tend to disagree with this idea and think that its storytelling is subversive rather than ambiguous, meaning that it requires players to work harder and use more critical thinking in order to reach the author’s intended conclusions. It also relies on false or misleading narratives for a good part of the story (such as red herrings, illusions, or unreliable narrators) as storytelling devices that help the truth in the story unfold in later parts of the narrative arc(s). Like any piece of media using these storytelling methods, this means that there will be controversy or debate as audiences contend with the author’s messages or intentions. However, that does not mean that the intentions are not there and that there is not an intentional outcome on the part of the writers.

Personally, I believe that FFVII has a very clear narrative structure for all of its main plot, sub plots, and character arcs, but that its approach is challenging to many players who have to wrestle with the story as it unfolds to understand it. It is not spoon-fed, and some revelations may betray player attachments that were originally formed. However, in my view, this is what makes FFVII such an exceptional story when compared to many others. That being said, the lack (or refusal) of understanding of FFVII’s narrative arcs has led to discourse that unfortunately mischaracterizes many of the characters and pushes inappropriate perspectives onto the storytelling, mostly surrounding the romantic arcs of the main characters and the so-called “LTD” (the fan construction, remember?). I strongly believe that the best way to understand any story is to follow the narrative arcs in order to arrive at the author’s intended conclusions.

I’m going to attempt to do that for the romantic subplots in FFVII in hopes of bringing some clarity to this issue. This analysis is based on a standard Three-Act Romance narrative writing structure (which aligns with the Hero's Journey structure), as well common romantic archetypes and tropes, both for characters and plot, but applied to the specific context of the story, world, and characters of FFVII. Please note that this is my personal analysis and it is by no means perfect, nor am I saying this is the bible of how FFVII has been written. I just hope it gives some insight into why some storytelling interpretations of FFVII should make more sense than… others. This analysis will draw from bits of the entire compilation, but the primary focus of the structure will be looking at FF7R with the OG as a baseline.

This is a long thread, so please see the outline for discussion below.

Romantic Structure/Trope Analysis

Cloud/Tifa: The Slow Burn/Childhood Friends to Lovers Romance

Aerith/Cloud: The Unrequited Love/Not Meant to Be Romance

Zack/Aerith: The Long Lost Love Romance

Final Thoughts: The "Love Triangle" is a Narrative Illusion

Cloud/Tifa: The Slow Burn/Childhood Friends to Lovers Romance

Act 1: The Beginning

The Hook (Childhood Connection Revealed)

Romance Structure: Introduction / Setup

Purpose: Establish the protagonists in their everyday lives, showing what emotional or psychological issues are holding them back from love. Readers should get a sense of their internal conflicts and motivations, along with the external situations that will challenge them later.

Childhood Friends Layer: Introduce the deep connection between the two characters, showing them as lifelong friends with an established bond. There could be hints of one or both characters secretly harboring feelings for the other, but they haven't acted on it due to fear of losing the friendship.

Example: Cloud and Tifa are childhood friends with a complicated history. Although they were close when they were little, they drifted apart but secretly longed for one another. They shared a romantic promise and then separated for seven years. At the beginning of FFVII, they are reunited, but both characters are contending with serious internal and external conflicts - Cloud’s identity crisis and the Shinra Company’s greed and abuse of the planet.

The Inciting Incident / Call to Adventure / Meet-Cute

Romance Structure: Inciting Incident / The Meet-Cute

Purpose: The main characters meet or are pushed together by external circumstances. This encounter introduces the romantic conflict—whether it’s instant attraction or tension between them.

Childhood Friends Layer: Since they’ve already known each other for years, the “meet-cute” here is more about seeing each other in a new light. Maybe one of them returns to town after time away, or an external event shifts their dynamic, making one or both start to view the other differently.

Example: Cloud and Tifa reunite in Midgar and Tifa recruits Cloud to work for AVALANCHE. She does this primarily to keep him close so she can keep an eye on him as she is worried about him and his mental state. During this time, we see an instant chemistry between Cloud and Tifa as they reconnect after years apart. When conflicts are introduced, we see the strain that it puts on them, but we also see how there’s a lingering desire for closeness, whether it be in their discussion/memory of the promise, their mutual flirting, their skinship, etc.

First Plot Point / Refusal of the Call

Romance Structure: Rejection of the Relationship

Purpose: The characters resist the idea of a romantic relationship, often due to internal or external obstacles. There’s a clear push-pull dynamic as they fight their growing attraction, often rejecting the possibility of being together.

Childhood Friends Layer: The hesitation here comes from their shared history. Both characters are afraid to risk their close friendship for something as uncertain as a romance. This dynamic creates tension as they begin to realize how much they depend on each other emotionally.

Example: This isn’t directly addressed, but the narrative deflects from intentional romantic confrontations at this point because of Cloud’s identity crisis and the pressing issues of the external conflict. Neither character is outwardly pursuing a relationship, but they don’t exactly deny their desire for closeness. We consistently see the push/pull between Cloud and Tifa throughout the early part of their arc. It's also further complicated when Sephiroth starts to sabotage their relationship.

Act 2: The Middle

First Pinch Point / Acceptance of the Quest

Romance Structure: Giving the Relationship a Chance

Purpose: External circumstances push them together, forcing them to interact and face their growing connection. Even if they resist the idea of love, the bond between them deepens as they spend more time together.

Childhood Friends Layer: Their shared history becomes an advantage and a source of conflict. The deeper they dive into new romantic feelings, the more they rely on the comfort of their friendship, but they’re also terrified of crossing the line and ruining everything.

Example: Cloud and Tifa work together both with AVALANCHE and the party at large to combat the threats present in the external conflict. Additionally, they share deep trauma from the Nibelheim Incident that brings them closer together as sources of comfort. They become one another’s rocks, and though they still do not move toward any explicit romantic confirmation, it is clear from their behavior that they both hold deep feelings for each other and care for each other greatly. Cloud in particular holds on to his promise to Tifa, making it a cornerstone of his strength moving forward.

Midpoint Crisis / Trials and Temptations

Romance Structure: Midpoint / I-Need-You-But-Can’t-Have-You

Purpose: This is a major turning point where the characters either experience a "false high" (where they feel like things are going well but something still isn’t quite right) or a "false low" (where they feel like things are falling apart). There’s often a pivotal moment of intimacy that deepens their bond but also introduces new fears.

Childhood Friends Layer: The fear of losing the friendship intensifies. They might experience their first kiss or confession of deeper feelings, but the risk of ruining their long-established bond makes the situation more fraught with anxiety.

Example: This particular point in the arc gets a little tricky for Cloud and Tifa because of Cloud’s identity crisis and Tifa’s reticence around their mismatched issues. However, Rebirth has made it clear that before the end of disc 1, Cloud and Tifa are aware of their feelings for each other and that the narrative is still in the way of it. This arc intersects events that transpire from Kalm to Gongaga, and we see the build-up of tension due to the internal conflict between Cloud and Sephiroth.

Second Pinch Point / The Road Back

Romance Structure: Pulling Back Together

Purpose: The characters are drawn back together by external events, but their internal fears and conflicts still loom large. The romance starts to deepen, but both are still fighting their feelings in some way.

Childhood Friends Layer: They try to go back to being "just friends," but it’s clear that things have changed between them. The emotional and romantic tension keeps building, and they can’t ignore how much they need each other.

Example: We see this dynamic between Cloud and Tifa continue to build throughout disc 1, particularly in Rebirth. We are consistently reminded of the tension between them and the importance of their relationship, regardless of romantic intent. Gongaga and Nibelheim are great examples of this.

Second Plot Point / The Fall

Romance Structure: The Fall

Purpose: The characters are now falling in love, even if they haven’t fully admitted it to each other. There’s often a deeper moment of intimacy—physical or emotional—that makes them realize just how much they mean to each other.

Childhood Friends Layer: One or both characters realize they’ve fallen hard for their best friend, but they are still careful or hold back from telling the other, afraid it might ruin everything. Nonetheless, they give in to their feelings in some capacity, which marks a turning point.

Example: The Gold Saucer date would be the best parallel for this point in the arc for Cloud and Tifa. In the OG Tifa almost confesses to a very interested Cloud, in Rebirth, they confirm feelings and kiss. Either way, it’s clearly meant to signal at this point, the fall has happened.

Act 3: The End

The Crisis / Dark Moment

Romance Structure: Dark Moment / The Break-Up

Purpose: This is the point where everything falls apart. The characters break up or distance themselves, either because of internal or external forces.

Childhood Friends Layer: The weight of their shared history makes this moment even more devastating. The fear of losing the friendship forever becomes real.

Example: For Cloud and Tifa, this moment is really hinged on Cloud’s mental breakdown. After the Gold Saucer Date, Cloud’s mental state progressively worsens due to events that occur within both the internal and external conflicts, and his bond with Tifa is severed completely at the Northern Crater. Cloud and Tifa are separated when Cloud falls into the Lifestream.

The Sacrifice / The Crisis Resolution

Romance Structure: The Sacrifice

Purpose: One or both characters must confront their fears and make a choice. This moment often involves a grand gesture or a realization that love is worth the risk.

Childhood Friends Layer: The realization comes that their friendship has always been the foundation of something more. They understand that risking the friendship for love is not only worth it but that the friendship can only deepen through their romantic connection.

Example: This point comes in Mideel and the Lifestream Scene. Tifa reaches her own realization about her relationship with Cloud and how her reticence has impacted things, and her conviction to save him and be with him is both profound and clearly romantic. Inside the Lifestream, Tifa helps Cloud to find himself, and many revelations about his true feelings for her are brought to light. Of course, we have not reached this point of the story in FF7R, so it will be intriguing to see how it unfolds, given all of the additional context the remake series and ToTP have provided.

The Climax / Declaration

Romance Structure: Declaration

Purpose: The characters finally confess their love for each other, making the leap from friends to lovers. This is the emotional high point where the relationship is solidified.

Childhood Friends Layer: The confession of love is tied to their long history, as they realize that their deep emotional connection as friends is the foundation for a strong romantic relationship.

Example: This moment for Cloud and Tifa is the Highwind Scene in the OG, where they confirm, without words, that their feelings match. Once again, we will see how this event unfolds in Part 3 with all the new and deepened context of Cloud and Tifa’s relationship in 7R.

The Resolution / Denouement

Romance Structure: Denouement / HEA

Purpose: The characters are together and happy, giving the reader a sense of closure.

Childhood Friends Layer: The resolution emphasizes how their strong friendship has transitioned seamlessly into a romantic relationship, giving the sense that they’ll continue to support each other as both friends and lovers.

Example: In the OG, this is seen in the FMV of the game where Cloud and Tifa are together, leading to the resolution of the entire story as Holy and the Lifestream are released. While this scene isn’t particularly direct, it’s enough to show that Cloud and Tifa are together, which leads to ACC where they live and raise a family together. This entire ending segment will likely be greatly expanded in FF7R, and so it'll be interesting to see how these moments are handled, given all of the new context.

Aerith/Cloud: Unrequited Love/Not Meant to Be Arc

Act 1: The Beginning

The Hook (Unrequited Feelings Introduced)

Romance Structure: Introduction / Setup

Purpose: Introduce the protagonist, who falls for the other character. Set up their emotional and psychological conflict, showing how these unrequited feelings shape their interactions with the other character.

Unrequited Love Layer: The character’s love is clearly unreturned, but they hold on to hope. There is a mix of admiration, longing, and pain as they watch the love interest live their life without ever seeing them as a romantic partner.

Example: Aerith’s feelings for Cloud, who she meets first on the streets of Midgar and later inside her church, are inspired by her long-lost love, Zack, whom he reminds her of. We don’t know this immediately, but we find out soon enough, and the story, especially 7R, is full of visual and symbolic cues.

The Inciting Incident / Call to Adventure / Meet-Cute

Romance Structure: Inciting Incident / The Meet-Cute

Purpose: The characters are pushed together by external circumstances, giving the protagonist more time with the love interest. The character sees this as an opportunity to grow closer, but the other character remains unaware or indifferent to their romantic feelings.

Unrequited Love Layer: The character is thrilled to spend more time with the other character and hopes this will bring them closer. However, the love interest still sees the relationship as platonic, creating tension.

Example: While their interaction on Loveless Street is the fated moment for Cloud and Aerith, the meet-cute is their meeting in the church. This is the inciting incident that not only truly triggers Aerith’s latent Zack-longing, but also begins Cloud and Aerith’s friendship as they work together for a common cause. Aerith flirts with Cloud quite a bit at this point, displaying her interest, but Cloud does not reciprocate in any romantic sense. She also refuses to let him leave and follows him around, essentially solidifying Aerith’s place in the player party and cementing her role as the heroine driving the external conflict. From here on out, we are consistently reminded that Cloud reminds Aerith of Zack, the deeper reason for her interest in him.

First Plot Point / Refusal of the Call

Romance Structure: Rejection of the Relationship

Purpose: The protagonist’s feelings remain unrequited. The other character might express interest in someone else or explicitly state that they don’t see the protagonist in a romantic light. This deepens the emotional conflict for the protagonist, who struggles with unspoken feelings.

Unrequited Love Layer: The protagonist is heartbroken but holds onto hope. They keep pushing their emotions down, unwilling to let go just yet.

Example: Aerith meets Tifa and quickly realizes that she is someone deeply important to Cloud. In Remake, she realizes this even before meeting her when Cloud has a headache and calls out Tifa’s name. Her awareness changes her behavior somewhat, but internally, she still is still conflicted because of her internal conflict over Zack.

Act 2: The Middle

First Pinch Point / Acceptance of the Quest

Romance Structure: Giving the Relationship a Chance

Purpose: External circumstances continue to push the characters together, and the protagonist’s feelings deepen. They begin to cling to small moments, hoping that their love might one day be reciprocated.

Unrequited Love Layer: The protagonist interprets friendly gestures as signs of romantic potential. They invest emotionally in every small interaction, hoping it means more than it does. However, deep down, they start to feel the weight of their unreturned affection.

Example: The journey continues with the party leaving Midgar, and Aerith’s feelings for Cloud grow despite her knowledge of his bond with Tifa as the party travels together. In Rebirth this is further complicated by Aerith’s loss of foresight/memories to the Whispers. We are also constantly reminded of Aerith’s lingering feelings for Zack and her grief and sadness over his loss/disappearance. Throughout the journey, she seeks out opportunities to spend time with Cloud - “dates” even though these moments are not reciprocated romantically. A notable example of this is her date with him on the clock tower in Kalm, where she speaks to him about his relationship with Tifa (hinting at her knowledge of their bond and her jealousy over it) and then her public declaration that they were on a date (in front of Tifa). Cloud's reaction to moments like these continue to inform the audience he does not return romantic affections for Aerith.

Midpoint Crisis / Trials and Temptations

Romance Structure: Midpoint / I-Need-You-But-Can’t-Have-You

Purpose: A major turning point occurs where the protagonist either faces the possibility that their love will never be returned or sees a fleeting moment where they think it might be. The emotional stakes are higher, as the protagonist grapples with whether to continue holding on.

Unrequited Love Layer: The character might attempt to make their feelings known, either explicitly or through subtle gestures, but the love interest doesn’t reciprocate. The character is left feeling exposed and vulnerable, yet still holding on to hope that things might change.

Example: For Cloud and Aerith, this continues to be the nature of their relational development throughout most of disc 1, but their interaction on the water tower in Nibelheim is probably the best example of this. Aerith has to grapple with her jealousy over Cloud and Tifa’s bond, which she has been observing for the entire game. Her acknowledgment of her feelings over it is a major turning point as a character. Additionally, this moment really cements that Cloud views his relationship with Aerith as a cherished friendship, as we see the way that he cares about her angry reaction.

Second Pinch Point / The Road Back

Romance Structure: Pulling Back Together

Purpose: Circumstances force the characters to spend more time together, even though the character is starting to feel the emotional strain of unrequited love. There may be a moment of temporary hope, but it’s tinged with the growing realization that their feelings might never be returned.

Unrequited Love Layer: The character becomes more emotionally drained as they begin to sense that their love will remain one-sided. They might try one last time to be closer to the love interest, but the gap between them is becoming clearer.

Example: This moment could best be viewed through Cloud and Aerith’s Gold Saucer date. There, Aerith not only tries to get closer to Cloud but she opens up emotionally and gives Cloud insight into the root of her feelings, which is Zack. Cloud does not reciprocate any of Aerith’s romantic overtures in this date and rather displays discomfort or awkwardness throughout most of it. However, he does allow her a moment of emotional vulnerability, which he has not been willing to do previously. This is further contextualized by how, In Rebirth, Cloud has remembered Zack by this point (albeit incorrectly). Cloud, who cherishes and cares for Aerith greatly as a friend, is considerate of this connection and offers her comfort for the grief and loss she has just admitted to feeling and seeking consolation in him from. Hence "just until the ride's over"; "I didn't do anything" etc...

Second Plot Point / The Fall

Romance Structure: The Fall

Purpose: The character finally realizes that their love will never be returned. This is an emotionally intense moment where they are forced to confront the truth—they will never be more than a friend or confidant to the love interest.

Unrequited Love Layer: The protagonist may be devastated by the final confirmation that their feelings will never be returned. The emotional weight of unrequited love becomes too much, and they start to realize they need to let go, or come to other realizations about their feelings.

Example: The moment that most closely matches with this point in the arc is the dream stroll through Sector 5. Not only does Aerith accept that Cloud doesn’t return her feelings romantically, but she comes to a realization of her own feelings and questions them. This is clearly a reference to Zack, whose internal conflict has been consistently foreshadowed. Aerith also seems to recognize that she can’t help Cloud with his internal conflict - that is Tifa's role.

Act 3: The End

The Crisis / Dark Moment

Romance Structure: Dark Moment / The Break-Up

Purpose: This is the point of emotional reckoning, where they face the reality of unrequited love and move on in their arc.

Unrequited Love Layer: The character experiences grief over their unreturned feelings. They might decide to pull away from the love interest entirely, or they may try to come to terms with remaining friends while letting go of their romantic hopes and moving on.

Example: For Aerith, this moment is marked by her complete transition to her role in the external conflict. At this point, she has let go of her romantic fancy for Cloud and has committed herself to the bigger picture. It is at this point that she leaves the party, and leaves Cloud in the Sleeping Forest, to fulfill her role as a Cetra.

The Sacrifice / The Crisis Resolution

Romance Structure: The Sacrifice

Purpose: The protagonist sacrifices their unrequited love, realizing they need to move on for the sake of their own emotional well-being or greater purposes. This is a bittersweet moment of acceptance and self-growth, where they let go of the hope that kept them holding on for so long.

Unrequited Love Layer: The protagonist may realize that holding on to unrequited love is only hurting them or preventing them from reaching a greater purpose.

Example: For Aerith, this point in the arc is less about Cloud and more about her role in the external conflict. This is the point in which she travels to the Forgotten City, prays, and ultimately is killed. However, it is bittersweet and tragic for her, ultimately, because she dies with unrequited love from Cloud and without ever getting closure on her true love, Zack.

The Climax / Declaration

Romance Structure: Declaration

Purpose: Instead of a declaration of mutual love, this is the protagonist’s internal declaration of acceptance. They start the process of moving on.

Unrequited Love Layer: The protagonist lets go of the love interest in their heart, realizing that they need to focus on their own future. The love interest is likely unaware of this internal shift, but it’s a powerful moment of growth for the protagonist.

Example: For Aerith, this is perhaps best viewed in her complete transition after death to the larger role she plays as the heroine of the planet from within the Lifestream. Her arc has fully transitioned away from her feelings for Cloud into her greater purpose. In FF7R, we can hope to see how Zack, who has been trying to find her, begins to impact this next phase of her arc.

The Resolution / Denouement

Romance Structure: Denouement / HEA

Purpose: Instead of a traditional happy ending, this is a reflective, bittersweet resolution. The character has grown emotionally. There is a sense of closure, though it may come with lingering heartache.

Unrequited Love Layer: The character has let go of the hope that their love would ever be returned. They are stronger for it and have moved on.

Example: For Aerith and Cloud, this moment is best summed up by their brief Lifestream reunion at the end of the game. It will be intriguing to see how this moment is expanded and provides closure for Cloud and Aerith’s relationship, as well as Zack’s role in both.

Zack/Aerith: Long Lost Love/Tragic Love Arc

This arc is a little more complicated to map out since it is not only incomplete but riddled with mysteries at this point. However, I’m going to do my best to make the connections based on the information we have and where we can theorize things may be going.

Act 1: The Beginning

The Hook

Romance Structure: Introduction / Setup

Purpose: Establish the protagonist’s life after the estrangement, showing how unresolved feelings for their lost lover impact their emotional world. There’s a sense of longing and unfinished business that propels the protagonist’s actions.

Long Lost Lovers Layer: The protagonist is haunted by memories of their estranged lover and driven by a deep desire to find them again. This longing is fueled by unresolved emotional wounds, and the protagonist clings to the hope of a reunion.

Example: In Rebirth, from the beginning, Zack is singularly focused on reuniting with Aerith. After his escape from Nibelheim, even as he carries the wounded Cloud, Zack’s thoughts are consumed by Aerith. His love for her pushes him forward despite the dangerous and confusing circumstances he finds himself in. Zack’s motivation intensifies when he discovers, through a newscast, that Aerith is in danger. This revelation shifts Zack from hopeful longing to immediate action, driving home the urgency of his quest. His decision to prioritize Aerith’s safety over everything else, including Cloud, underscores how central Aerith is to his purpose, raising the stakes for his emotional journey.

The Inciting Incident

Romance Structure: The Call to Adventure

Purpose: The inciting incident transitions the protagonist from passive longing to active pursuit of reunion. Some event or revelation forces the protagonist to act, prompting them to seek out their estranged lover. Often, this is triggered by the discovery that the lover may be in danger.

Long Lost Lovers Layer: The protagonist realizes that simply hoping for a reunion isn’t enough—there’s now a tangible reason for urgency. This event serves as a catalyst for the protagonist to fully commit to the journey of reconnecting with their lover, increasing the stakes as they shift from passive longing to active pursuit.

Example: After mysteriously "surviving" his last stand against Shinra (as seen at the end of Crisis Core), Zack rescues Aerith from Shinra’s grasp in Rebirth. However, instead of a triumphant reunion, the moment is clouded with confusion and tragedy. This rescue scene signals Zack’s deep emotions for Aerith and heightens the sense of foreboding in their relationship arc. The player quickly realizes that the reunion isn’t straightforward and that darker forces are at play, casting a shadow over Zack’s determined rescue.

First Plot Point

Romance Structure: Refusal of the Call / First Obstacle

Purpose: The first major obstacle or refusal of the call introduces the initial challenges the protagonist faces in their pursuit of the lost lover. Despite their determination, external forces or internal doubts surface, complicating the journey.

Long Lost Lovers Layer: The protagonist’s optimism about reuniting with their estranged lover is challenged by harsh realities—whether through physical danger, supernatural elements, or emotional barriers. This moment introduces doubts about whether a reunion is possible, raising tension and uncertainty.

Example: Zack eventually brings a comatose Aerith and Cloud to Elmyra’s house. Zack’s devotion to them is evident as he cares for them despite their unresponsive states, but the world around him behaves in strange ways. The eerie sense of something deeply wrong in Sector 5 hints that Zack’s reality—and Aerith’s fate—are far from certain. He’s not just fighting to reunite with Aerith; he’s battling a reality that is becoming increasingly unstable. The player shares in Zack’s growing sense of anxiety and confusion, setting the tone for the more tragic layers of their arc to come.

First Pinch Point / Acceptance of the Quest

Romance Structure: Giving the Relationship a Chance

Purpose: The protagonist resolves to pursue their lost lover, hoping to rekindle what they once had. However, unresolved issues and emotional scars from the past begin to surface, complicating their journey.

Long Lost Lovers Layer: Time and distance have changed both characters, making reconnection difficult. The focus is on how time has altered both individuals and the lingering emotional weight of their separation.

Example: Zack’s attempt to reunite with Aerith is complicated by the metaphysical separation created by the Lifestream. Aerith remains comatose, as does Cloud, and Zack has to contend with both his own internal conflict as he tries to help them as well as the external conflict of his strange and mysterious circumstances within "Sector 5".

Midpoint Crisis / Trials and Temptations

Romance Structure: Midpoint / I-Need-You-But-Can’t-Have-You

Purpose: The protagonist’s need for their lost lover intensifies, but the relationship is far more complicated than expected. Old wounds and emotional or external barriers resurface, making reunion seem out of reach. Despite their determination, the protagonist begins to doubt whether they can ever restore what they once had.

Long Lost Lovers Layer: Time and emotional distance have changed the dynamics of their relationship. While both may care for each other, the past cannot easily be erased, and their attempts to reconnect are fraught with tension.

Example: External forces such as Sephiroth’s manipulations, and Aerith’s internal conflict over Cloud create an emotional barrier between her and Zack. Aerith, “asleep” in Zack’s world, remains unaware of his presence. As Zack learns from Marlene that Aerith’ "likes" Cloud, more tension and conflict is added. Despite these challenges, Zack remains unwavering in his commitment to reconnect with Aerith, determined to overcome the growing emotional distance.

Second Pinch Point / The Road Back

Romance Structure: Pulling Back Together

Purpose: The protagonist makes another push to reconnect with their lost lover despite significant setbacks. Faced with the reality that time is running out, the protagonist must act decisively to restore the relationship. While emotional connections may deepen, unresolved challenges threaten the outcome, leaving uncertainty in the air.

Long Lost Lovers Layer: Despite growing obstacles, the protagonist remains committed to rekindling the relationship. The emotional and physical distance between the lovers may still seem insurmountable, but the protagonist refuses to give up, holding onto the hope that they can salvage what they once had.

Example: Even as Zack’s hope begins to wane, he remains steadfast in his desire to reunite with Aerith. Zack finds himself pulled in multiple directions, creating additional conflicts. External forces and emotional entanglements continue to complicate their relationship, but Zack’s determination to bridge the emotional gap keeps pushing him forward. This section of Rebirth continues to heavily foreshadow both the truth about Zack as well as the future of Zack and Aerith's relationship, despite the conflicts.

Act 3: The End

The Crisis / Dark Moment

Romance Structure: The Break-Up / Darkest Hour

Purpose: The protagonist faces their darkest moment, where it seems that the reunion will never happen. Emotional scars or external forces tear the lovers apart, and the protagonist believes they’ve lost their final chance to reconnect. The relationship nears failure as the protagonist faces the harsh reality of their situation.

Long Lost Lovers Layer: The conflict grows to the point of no return. Previous mistakes or external conflicts surface, causing the relationship to fall apart, and the protagonist is left devastated, feeling that the reunion may never come.

Example: In Rebirth, this moment comes near the ending of the game when Sephiroth's confluence of worlds plays a role in role in further uprooting Zack's existence in the Lifestream. We also know that this is the time that Aerith dies in the real world, further complicating matters and adding new layers of conflict.

The Sacrifice / The Crisis Resolution

Romance Structure: The Sacrifice

Purpose: The protagonist realizes that to win back their lost lover, they must sacrifice their pride, fear, or ego. This emotional climax reflects their willingness to make a grand gesture or display vulnerability, showing they’ll do whatever it takes for a second chance.

Long Lost Lovers Layer: The protagonist makes a final, heartfelt plea to the estranged lover, acknowledging their mistakes and baring their soul. The lover, moved by the sincerity, must decide whether or not to take the risk of rekindling the relationship.

Example: Although we don’t yet know how this will play out in the Remake series, it’s likely that Part 3 will feature a reunion between Zack and Aerith. The conflicts that have built up—including Aerith’s internal struggle regarding Cloud—will need resolution. Advent Children (ACC) shows Zack and Aerith together in the Lifestream, setting the stage for a reunion in the Remake. The exact nature of this reunion remains speculative, but it’s likely Zack will make a significant sacrifice or grand gesture to resolve the emotional conflicts that have kept them apart.

The Climax / Declaration

Romance Structure: Declaration

Purpose: The estranged lover finally decides to take the risk and give the relationship another chance. After much internal struggle, they admit they’ve never stopped loving the protagonist, and they’re ready to move forward together. This is the emotional peak where both characters commit to each other.

Long Lost Lovers Layer: The reconciliation finally happens. After everything they’ve endured, the estranged lover acknowledges their lingering feelings and agrees to rebuild the relationship. Both characters take a leap of faith, trusting that they can overcome the past and move forward.

Example: Though speculative, if the arc follows the long lost lovers trope, Zack and Aerith will likely experience a heartfelt reunion in Part 3. Their lingering feelings would finally be acknowledged, clearing up Aerith’s complicated feelings for Cloud while reaffirming her bond with Zack. This declaration of love would also tie into the larger narrative arc, offering emotional resolution for both characters and allowing their story to move forward, especially in support of Aerith's role in the external conflict of the Planet.

The Resolution / Denouement

Romance Structure: Denouement / HEA

Purpose: The story concludes with a glimpse of the couple in their newly rekindled relationship. The emotional weight of their past has been lifted, and they are now ready to face the future together. Even if circumstances prevent a traditional “happy ending,” there is emotional closure and a sense of peace.

Long Lost Lovers Layer: After the pain, separation, and emotional struggle, the couple is finally together. The audience is left with a sense that their love will endure this time, offering a bittersweet but satisfying conclusion to their long journey.

Example: In Advent Children (ACC), we see Zack and Aerith reunited in the Lifestream, helping Cloud in his final battle. Their reunion suggests that, while they may no longer live in the physical world, their connection endures beyond death. Though bittersweet, their reunion offers emotional closure. The final installment of the Remake series will likely bring full resolution to Zack and Aerith’s arc, providing a satisfying conclusion, even if there are tragic elements along the way.

Final Thoughts: The Love Triangle is a Narrative Illusion

Cloud and Tifa’s Slow-Burn Childhood Friends to Lovers (Canon)

Cloud and Tifa’s relationship in Final Fantasy VII is a carefully crafted slow burn, rooted in a deep bond that extends back to their childhood in Nibelheim. Their connection is not built on superficial or flimsy romantic interactions but on a shared past and the quiet intimacy that grows from years of unspoken longing but is complicated by trauma.

Cloud and Tifa’s natural chemistry is driven by their subconscious desires and the deep, unspoken feelings they have for one another. For Cloud, his buried emotions instinctively reach out to Tifa, even though he isn’t fully aware of them. The narrative hides these true feelings, but subtle moments of affection and protectiveness reveal that, deep down, Cloud’s heart is already tied to hers, laying the groundwork for their eventual emotional connection.

The game’s emotional climax in the Lifestream, where Tifa helps Cloud piece together his shattered memories, is a pivotal moment in which both characters finally confront the depth of their feelings for each other. Their journey isn’t one of dramatic declarations, but rather a gradual, emotional reconnection that allows deeply held, mutual love and longing to blossom—a love that is grounded in shared history, healing, and mutual understanding and compassion.

This slow-burn romance stands as the true heart of Cloud’s emotional journey, dispelling the illusion of a love triangle and making it clear that Cloud’s deepest emotional ties are with Tifa.

Aerith and Cloud’s Unrequited Love / Not Meant to Be Semi-Canon/One-sided) (Fanon - mutual)

The dynamic between Aerith and Cloud, while often misinterpreted as romantic, is better understood through the lens of unrequited love and fate’s intervention. Aerith’s initial attraction to Cloud is undeniably influenced by his resemblance to her first love, Zack Fair.

As time goes on, Aerith tries to see Cloud for who he is, but tragically, this is not possible before her death, and her feelings remain complicated and unreciprocated. Their bond, while significant as friendship, never goes beyond that, reinforcing the fact that Aerith’s feelings for Cloud are more of an echo of her past with Zack.

Cloud's true self being in love with Tifa and Aerith’s tragic death seal the fate of their relationship as one that was never meant to be—a fleeting connection, shaped by circumstance rather than true compatibility.

The tragedy of this unfulfilled arc serves as a powerful narrative device, but it is clear that Cloud and Aerith were never destined to end up together, further dispelling the notion of a love triangle.

Zack and Aerith’s Long Lost Love / Tragic Love (Canon)

Zack and Aerith’s relationship is the quintessential tragic love story in Final Fantasy VII, defined by separation, longing, and loss. Aerith’s first love, Zack, vanishes from her life without explanation, leaving her with unanswered questions and unresolved feelings. Even as she begins to move forward, her heart never fully lets go of Zack, who is revealed to have fought valiantly to return to her—only to tragically lose his life in the process.

The tragedy of their love lies in the fact that both characters hold onto each other, but fate conspires to keep them apart, making their love story one of the most emotionally poignant elements in the game. Even in death, their connection endures, with Zack and Aerith appearing together in the Lifestream in ACC, symbolizing a love that transcends life itself. This arc, while bittersweet, resolves the narrative of Aerith’s romantic life—Zack was her true love, and Cloud was a reflection of the man she had lost, not a new love interest.

Their tragic love story dispels the myth of a love triangle in Final Fantasy VII, emphasizing that Aerith’s heart always belonged to Zack, even as she developed a bond with Cloud during her journey.

All of the relationships in the game are important. However, Cloud/Tifa & Zack/Aerith are the canon, mutual romantic relationships of Final Fantasy VII. Cloud/Aerith have a cherished friendship, but any romantic subtext of their relationship in the game is used as a vehicle to drive the conflicts and truths of the canon relationships forward. This is accomplished through illusions and subversions in storytelling, as well as creating internal conflict for the characters and canon relationships.

FFVII’s storytelling is deliberately designed to mislead the player through incomplete truths and emotional misdirection, including the use of red herrings, illusions, unreliable narration, and the omission of critical information or context. Cloud’s confused memories and persona, coupled with Aerith’s initial attraction to him based on his similarities to Zack, create the illusion of a romantic triangle, but the deeper truths—Cloud’s unresolved trauma and false identity, Tifa’s role as the keeper of Cloud’s real past and his true feelings, and Aerith’s ultimate fate as the Planet’s protector and her true love being Zack—gradually dismantle this illusionary love triangle.

I cannot stress enough that FFVII is not a love drama or soap opera where the game’s conflict centers on romantic rivalries, betrayal, deception, or morally questionable behaviors.. It’s a complex story that focuses on themes of life, loss, identity, self-discovery, legacy, and on and on.

Love - all kinds of love, including romantic, platonic, and familial - is a theme of FFVII, but truly and holistically, not for the sake of creating meaningless drama between the characters. The relationship dynamics appear messy at times in the earlier parts of the story, but these dynamics are designed to help us reach the proper conclusions about the story and the characters’ arcs, and how true love is a vehicle for reaching resolution for both.

Player’s choice is irrelevant to the plot. You cannot decide or alter the story structure or direction or individual character arcs or relationships. The most you can do is view the game through a slightly different lens by gaining an expanded understanding of character arcs and motivation with new replays.

Shipping is a fandom construct. It’s meant to be fun, and you can ship whatever you like. But shipping doesn’t intersect with the facts of a story or its narrative. Lying about any piece of media to convince yourself or others of its canonicity is bizarre behavior.

Respect the work and its intention, while having your shipping fun within your fandom. Don't embarrass yourself by saying an FF protagonist kissing the girl he’s loved since childhood and joined the army to impress means nothing, or worse, proves he the opposite of a hero.

You can ship your fanon without doing all that.

Last thing: Reunion is a primary theme of Final Fantasy VII. You may have noticed that it is also a primary theme for both of the canon romantic relationships. Personally, I believe that Part Three is going to drive this message home in a way that is unmistakable. I also believe that both lovers' reunions will be instrumental in resolving all of the conflicts of FFVII in the final game.

It’s not a coincidence that both reunions will take place in the Lifestream, or that they've been foreshadowed by the presence of the yellow flower.

I also believe that the dual Rebirth cover arts, described by Tetsuya Nomura as Sephiroth "tearing Cloud and Zack's worlds apart" are heavily foreshadowing the resolution of these relationships along with their connection to the the larger story structures of FFVII/FFVIIR.

Let's wait and see when Part 3 comes along.

[jesncin]

Coddling Colonizer Guilt

"Performative diversity is when MAWS features a Native American variant of Lois Lane in the multiverse episode only to end the season on a Thanksgiving episode."

...is something I like to joke with my friends as a shorthand for referencing MAWS' squeamish approach to politics while still trying to reap the clout of "diverse representation". I want to get my thoughts out there and perhaps start a discussion over why this feels off.

Some disclaimers: Firstly, I'm not Native American. Understand this is an observation I'm making from an outsider perspective with no personal authority. I'm just a disappointed Asian Lois Lane fan. Secondly, I know the MAWS crew/creators had no malicious intent in any of these (what I consider) poor writing decisions. I'm simply here to challenge and analyze these narrative and visual choices.

MAWS takes a fairly controversial take on Superman mythos so far. Unlike Superman's historic roots as an allegory for Jewish immigrants with Clark coming from a Kryptonian socialist utopia (leading the imperfect people of Earth to a better tomorrow), MAWS chooses instead to reimagine Superman as a descendant from a planet of "alien invaders". If the leaked(?) concept art (warning potential spoilers for s2) is to be believed, Clark is the direct descendent of the leaders of the "Kryptonian Empire". Supposedly gone are the parents of Superman being scientists that warn of the destruction of their home planet- instead we have the "proud, loving, brilliant" "leaders of the Kryptonian Empire".

While we don't know if this is the direction the show is going in, there are already cryptic hints of it being planted and thematic elements set up that point to it being a possibility. Clark had spent a majority of the season wondering what/who he is (being incapable of talking to Jor-El's hologram because of a language barrier) only to find out his supposed origins in episode 9. He's devastated learning that he's an alien invader and, once he regroups with his friends, angsts about believing he's a weapon sent from Krypton to invade Earth. Asian-Lois Lane and Black-Jimmy Olsen assure White-passing-alien-man Clark Kent that he's different and not like other colonizers. Clark ultimately saves the day, proving he's an exception. It's curious then that the season ends on Thanksgiving.

As I've mentioned before, MAWS is exhaustively squeamish with getting political. Whatever happens in the show that resembles "themes" is quickly contradicted with very little consistent internal logic. One minute Superman is supposedly a threat that "wipes out good American jobs", should "go back to where he came from" and Lois makes a hope speech about how we shouldn't treat people who "are different" and "don't look like us" (??) with cruelty (so Clark's an immigrant going through xenophobia?) and the next he's a redeemed colonizer (a more prominent thematic arc). One minute Clark is "different" and scared of being othered- likened to a gay couple and allegorically closeted, and the next his friends call him out for being a lying liar for not disclosing his marginalized identity within a week (the narrative frames Lois and Jimmy as being in the right). This show's writing is non-committal with what it wants to say, and largely goes on vibes. That is to say I don't think the writers intended for the themes of colonizer guilt to accidentally tie into Thanksgiving as a set piece for their final episode.

I'm sure the reason the writers chose Thanksgiving as their final episode is because it's "relateable". Half the episode is dedicated to slice of life family reunion shenanigans and the dang turkey still not being cooked through. But in choosing Thanksgiving, the writers told on themselves here with their biases. The existence of Thanksgiving implies the existence of genocide (of Native American people) by colonists in the MAWS universe. And yet Black Jimmy Olsen doesn't know what racism is (Mallah and the Brain give him a judgmental stare as Jimmy admits he can't relate to being violently marginalized) and Asian American Lois Lane doesn't understand immigration and xenophobia (constantly being entitled to Clark's immigrant identity, being incapable of comprehending why he would keep it a secret, because secrets are lies). The MAWS crew wanted a "relateable" set piece but in doing so ended up reinforcing the historical revisionism the holiday entails. A foreign colonizer sharing a meal with his friends of color on Earth, whose culture, history, and identity are all white washed.

I would like to challenge this idea that Thanksgiving is somehow the "relateable" choice. Why pick this holiday? Why not celebrate Thanksgiving as a National Day of Mourning (as some Native Americans do)? Why not pick any Jewish holiday as a nod to Superman's creators (ignoring this version's colonizer interpretation for a second)? Why not pick Lunar New Year, a holiday celebrated by many people including Koreans (Seollal in South Korea)? It could've been another fun opportunity to showcase Lois' heritage, and create a fusion of cultures from Jimmy and Clark's families. At its most non-political and secular, why couldn't they pick any weekend? This is what happens when a show doesn't consider its world building and setting in a holistic way. MAWS will nod to xenophobic rhetoric, portray allegorical queer marginalization, and make the vaguest nods to systemic bigotry (Prof Ivo displaced a whole neighborhood! Yet we never hear from those figurative displaced people). But it does nothing to discuss any of that on a deeper level. Its characters of color don't know what racism is and Thanksgiving is just a fun family reunion, guys.

All this and they had the audacity to sneak in a Native American Lois Lane in the multiverse episode?? Why is she, out of all the Lois Lanes in this screencap, the only one in full traditional wear? Why isn't she in a smart casual business fit like Black Lois and STAS white Lois? Would she not have been recognizably Native American to the non-Native audience otherwise? Isn't this tokenizing? Do you think she has a xenophobic dad in the military like Korean American Lois does?

But that fits MAWS' approach to diversity, doesn't it? Surface level cultural nods, maybe make Lois wear a hanbok one time, and let the audience eat it up. Never mind that both Korean American Lois and Native American Lois have been stripped of their culture and history in every other aspect.

I use the word "relateable" a lot here, but I think the important question to ask is "relateable for who?". 'Immigrant' is too charged a word, so MAWS universalizes Clark's marginalization to "being different". Superman isn't even an immigrant in this version, that was all a smokescreen for the twist that he's actually a descendent of colonizers! Being wracked with colonizer guilt is way more relateable to the white audience than being an immigrant, surely. Thanksgiving is more relateable than celebrating any culturally specific holiday our "diverse reimagining" could have represented. Characters of color being functionally white (in a way that doesn't threaten middle America) is way more relateable. MAWS is a show that doesn't want to delve into Native American history. It would rather put a Native American Lois hologram on a pedestal and call it a day.

[bloomeng]

Shout out to the person who noticed Steph was the only one in heels and said Dick would totally wear heels. You didn’t know it but you were ahead of your time (it was always my plan to put discowing in heels).

Steph originally wasn’t going to get heels but then I got the idea to add the wings and I fell in love but I think the in universe reason is she wanted them for the drama and she was extrapolating design elements from Batgirl’s og outfit and Batwoman. I was going for like a gothic princess sort of vibe which turned out a bit more Fischl from gi than I intended, but I think that actually suits the vibe pretty well.

Another shoe detail: Jason’s shoes are meant to be slight platforms to match his desire to be tall and imposing.

This is a side tangent but I want to talk about it. For this au I’ve been trying to strike a balance between feminine and “would this character actually wear this?” Now the answer is mostly no. The outfits by nature are impractical as hell bc that’s how magical girl media is, so the question I’ve been asking is more “would this character feel comfortable in this outfit?” I want each look to be equally feminine which means I’m hyper conscious of not making the women more feminine than the men. Magical girl designs are hyper fem by default so my goal is to basically make everyone relatively the same amount of fem.

However, I’m also trying to take into account personality. This is where I might lose some people but hell it’s my au. So why are Jason and Cass the only ones so far with real skirts? This is totally my headcanon but I think they’re the only ones who would benefit from skirts:

Dick would be fine with wearing a skirt but I think he’s ultimately neutral about it. He would totally do it though if someone asked and would be fully aware of how nice he looked.

I don’t know if I’d say Tim would like wearing skirts so much as he doesn’t care. He’s more concerned with practicality.

Steph doesn’t have any issues with skirts but I think as a part of her uniform she would feel stifled. As as I said previously I think part of her look is based on Bats she would’ve looked up to but also partly it was secret wish fulfillment for that little girl who would’ve loved to look like a kickass mary sue demon princess from a y/a novel.

Duke in my opinion wouldn’t see the appeal. I think he’d be similar to Dick but just a little more shy about wearing one. I gave him a little ruffle though bc I thought it was cute.

Babs is fine with skirts but tends to prefer pants.

Cass is a bit different because I think wearing something frivolous is so novel to her. I wanted her outfit to be a blend of her canon design and her appreciation for dance. I tried to contrast her more practical elements (like her pants and armor) with the soft things I think she would enjoy (like a flowy skirt.) I still have ambition to go back and design a Black Bat outfit for her but I haven’t quite figured out the direction I want to take with it.

Jason on the other hand— this also very much in hc territory— I think didn’t know how much he would enjoy a skirt until he got to wear one. Stepping away from the universe for a sec; Jason is the most masculine design fundamentally which means that in order to match the vibe I would have to make him the furthest from his canon design. I’m really not trying to make a statement or subvert things by putting men in skirts bc it’s supposed to a silly au with aesthetically pleasing designs. I like feminine things and it shows in my work however I don’t see clothing as naturally gendered. That’s my little context psa back to my point. I think Jason is the most likely to wear a skirt and actually feel empowered by it. At first I think he was embarrassed by it but the outfits choose you so he just went with it out of necessity. And through that he found he really thrived in the juxtaposition between his intentional imposing figure and this unashamed femininity. He’s a drama kid at heart and fr what’s more dramatic than an ill-advised fit that serves. The skirt to him feels like a costume that helps give him the confidence to be Red Hood or ig… Red Bow. (Which is sorta how I think of the red helmet in canon but I also do believe that Jason and Cass would have the most fun wearing a skirt.)

I haven’t decided if Bruce will get a skirt or not but if he does just know that my reasoning is that his artifact was humbling him. Like you take yourself too seriously calm down with the brooding. He would use the skirt as a way to conceal more weapons.

(I think Kon would love wearing skirts but in this au because he built his own outfit I think he was trying to seem impressive and edgy and distinguish himself from Clark. I also think, despite enjoying skirts, he would have to work up the courage to wear them in public and never as Superboy because he would be too conscious of his image.)

Anyway I don’t claim to always succeed with my intentions coming through in my work but this is what is running through my head.

[cina-full-moon-xanadium]

With the franchise continuing to grow in popularity, I thought I'd give a rundown for new fans of the earliest fist-fighting, bike-riding lone hero Kamen Riders that they might not be too familiar with compared to the modern shows.

Kamen Rider #1

Made with specific intentions in mind about the nature of violence in humanity, the first Kamen Rider often struggled with a distancing of sorts from his humanity that his superpowers gave him; focusing most frequently on the terrible harm he was now able to visit upon his opponents. Conceptualized as the lone hero with these powers, the bug-themed #1 didn't have a 'secondary rider' of sorts to help him out; instead being assisted most frequently by a professional officer who also acted as his liaison with the police. Another well-liked supporting cast member was an older 'uncle' figure who let the main hero stay at his shop. At the conclusion of the series, Rider 1 decided to leave Japan to journey abroad. Kamen Rider #1's show was very popular with children to the degree that, while not intended, it naturally spawned an indirect sequel series and eventually a whole slew of shows that continues to this day.

Kamen Rider #2

While Kamen Rider #1 was not conceived as having any successors, events behind the scenes incited the production of a replacement hero in Kamen Rider #2 who would take over from #1 over the next year. Very similar in design and origins to his predecessor with the same bug design basis and often mixed up with him, this new Kamen Rider was a quirky jokester type of character compared to the typical 'hero' type kids could look up to that #1 was; and often confounded his supporting cast with all the strange things he'd say and do. Rather than dwell on his personal tragedy of what he'd lost, #2 as a character preferred to focus on his own personal hobbies and interests; only going out to battle the enemies when called. #2 notably marked the introduction of a teamup of multiple Kamen Riders at once, though he fought with derivations of #1's suit rather than the original. While not as well remembered as the original Kamen Rider, #2 still laid the groundwork for many elements that the franchise stays true to today.

Kamen Rider V3

As the first departure from #1 and #2's basic setting and storytelling with a very different design, Kamen Rider V3 obviously had some big shoes to fill -- but almost instantly he was a hit, easily becoming one of the most popular Kamen Rider series of his era. While previously glimpsed with #2's occasional scuffles, V3 notably was the first Kamen Rider series to have fellow Kamen Riders fighting with each other; not out of misunderstanding, but out of genuine moral conflict. While some of this would be resolved, multiple Kamen Riders end up dying in this season, and arguably this rivalry is what most influences the typical Main Rider/Secondary Rider relationships to this day.

Riderman

While many Riders feature their transformation belt magically appear out of nowhere, the fourth Kamen Rider notably had a more 'realistic' transformation that required the hero to physically put on his gear. Arguably weaker than many other Kamen Riders due to having a limited powerset derived from now-outdated science, Riderman in his series was characterized largely by a distrust of everyone around him due to his coloured past; naturally leading to many of the show's most memorable character conflicts and fights. This Kamen Rider has an interesting relationship with death, with the ending of the show and post-series media seemingly unable to decide if he's alive or not.

Kamen Rider X

Plagued by rewrites and completely different directions in the first and second half of the show, the first Kamen Rider to constantly carry his weapon with him has nonetheless remained quite popular with fans of the era; in no small part due to the tantalizing relationship he has with a black and red rival he makes early on. While the show would eventually move on from this element, X as a character is informed by the tragedy of losing his father and the hero complex this event forced upon him.

Kamen Rider Amazon

A very sharp change in direction from the more technological Riders that came before him, Amazon in many respects does not feel like part of the Kamen Rider series as much as it does an original series very much doing its own thing -- and one that has garnered its own small fanbase. Amazon featured multiple forested fights and pit the main hero against animalistic beasts rather than what you might expect from a usual Tokusatsu monster. Amazon is frequently followed around by a young boy fascinated by the new world of possibilities the hero has introduced him to, and the relationship between Amazon and this boy is one of the highlights of the series.

Kamen Rider Stronger

This red rhinoceros beetle Rider is a cult favourite among fans for its infectiously confident main hero who makes speeches about the heavens as he charms his way out of just about any situation. This series brought the classic theming back in a big way, with all the main heroes being based on a different type of bug. This series may surprise modern Kamen Rider fans for Stronger only having a single upgrade form, not even having a single other one between his base form and final. Unfortunately, this series failed to be the jab-in-the-arm of popularity the producers wanted it to be; with the Super Sentai series that same year arguably overshadowing it.

(inspired by this twitter thread)

[blueflipflops]

I saw the post you made about punk-flower and the patch sharing jacket and I just wanted to ask if you have anything specific that you would like to expand on as I plan to write a fic for it!

I’ve been in a writing slump for months now and you’re post just inspired me again finally so I just wanted to see if there were any more headcannons you had for this idea

This is the post I’m referencing btw!

Ignore the terrible crop job lol

Oooooh thats so cool! Sure!! Go for it!!

There's really not much for me to add other than ✨️vibes✨️and like a general direction/idea. But i do have a few so here's what i got so far:

I imagine that Miles was the first one to ask bring up the patched jackets (i don't really know what they're called) thing for like just a conversation starter at first but ended up getting geniunely interested as Hobie rants explains the whole thing. From its history where its originally a practical way of mending clothes but now means more to the punk culture, to how to stitch it in, picking the right jacket for it, etc.

He would explain each patch in his vest, what they represent, and how he got it. (Or Miles would ask abt it idk)

I like to hc hobie as decent enough at sewing to make shody patches with his own design. Its not good good but he's proud of them enough to show it off

Miles couldn't get his mind off Hobie's rant and some of the shoddy patches that looks so rough and like a snap away from leaving Hobie's vest and he can't get his mind off the fact that Hobie made some of his own patches which made him curious enough to make his own designs.

At first it was just drawings and doodles but then he got curious enough to try embriodery stuff. How hard could it be, right? He was wrong. Embroidery is very hard. (This coming from me who does embroidery for fun) But the learning process was fun enough that he continued on.

Rio absolutely caught him more than once, brings out her sewing kit, and gives him tips and advices like different kinds of stitches and how to fix holes on clothes, happy to have something they can bond over. (Would love to have more Rio content. She deserves the world.)

With his newly aqcuired sewing skills, he offers to fix Hobie's patch that was loose.

Then he showed Hobie the very first patch he made which was a very simple sunflower (or something else if you want) and

Hobie was very normal about that and trying to be casual like: "Can I keep it?" And it flusters Miles like "Uh, yeah, sure. I guess. I mean if you want it—"

Hobie then decided that Miles is his new go-to patch repair guy just so he can spend more time with him

Miles uses a really old jacket from either his dad or his uncle Aaron or heck even from his mom or maybe even from his grandparents. (your pick) Because he knows that you just dont do that on a new jacket! That goes against its whole purpose!!

When he shows Hobie the jacket he intends to patch up, Hobie got so exited that he rips off a patch from his vest and gifts it to Miles to "start him with" or something.

They gift each other patches that reminds them of the other

And yeah. That's it. Thats all I've got haha. Link me up on the fic when (? Or after? Srry idk grammar haha) you get to write it. Really very excited to read how you write my current favorite blorbos!! 💕

[bobacupcake]

Oooh, what about Journey? I think the sand probably took a lot to pull off

it did!! i watched a video about it, god, like 6 years ago or something and it was a very very important thing for them to get just right. this is goimg to be a longer one because i know this one pretty extensively

here's the steps they took to reach it!!

and heres it all broken down:

so first off comes the base lighting!! when it comes to lighting things in videogames, a pretty common model is the lambert model. essentially you get how bright things are just by comparing the normal (the direction your pixel is facing in 3d space) with the light direction (so if your pixel is facing the light, it returns 1, full brightness. if the light is 90 degrees perpendicular to the pixel, it returns 0, completely dark. and pointing even further away you start to go negative. facing a full 180 gives you -1. thats dot product baybe!!!)

but they didnt like it. so. they just tried adding and multiplying random things!!! literally. until they got the thing on the right which they were like yeah this is better :)

you will also notice the little waves in the sand. all the sand dunes were built out of a heightmap (where things lower to the ground are closer to black and things higher off the ground are closer to white). so they used a really upscaled version of it to map a tiling normal map on top. they picked the map automatically based on how steep the sand was, and which direction it was facing (east/west got one texture, north/south got the other texture)

then its time for sparkles!!!! they do something very similar to what i do for sparkles, which is essentially, they take a very noisy normal map like this and if you are looking directly at a pixels direction, it sparkles!!

this did create an issue, where the tops of sand dunes look uh, not what they were going for! (also before i transition to the next topic i should also mention the "ocean specular" where they basically just took the lighting equation you usually use for reflecting the sun/moon off of water, and uh, set it up on the sand instead with the above normal map. and it worked!!! ok back to the tops of the sand dunes issue)

so certain parts just didnt look as they intended and this was a result of the anisotropic filtering failing. what is anisotropic filtering you ask ?? well i will do my best to explain it because i didnt actually understand it until 5 minutes ago!!!! this is going to be the longest part of this whole explanation!!!

so any time you are looking at a videogame with textures, those textures are generally coming from squares (or other Normal Shapes like a healthy rectangle). but ! lets say you are viewing something from a steep angle

it gets all messed up!!! so howww do we fix this. well first we have to look at something called mip mapping. this is Another thing that is needded because video game textures are generally squares. because if you look at them from far away, the way each pixel gets sampled, you end up with some artifacting!!

so mip maps essentially just are the original texture, but a bunch of times scaled down Properly. and now when you sample that texture from far away (so see something off in the distance that has that texture), instead of sampling from the original which might not look good from that distance, you sample from the scaled down one, which does look good from that distance

ok. do you understand mip mapping now. ok. great. now imagine you are a GPU and you know exactly. which parts of each different mip map to sample from. to make the texture look the Absolute Best from the angle you are looking at it from. how do you decide which mip map to sample, and how to sample it? i dont know. i dont know. i dont know how it works. but thats anisotropic filtering. without it looking at things from a steep angle will look blurry, but with it, your GPU knows how to make it look Crisp by using all the different mip maps and sampling them multiple times. yay! the more you let it sample, the crisper it can get. without is on the left, with is on the right!!

ok. now. generally this is just a nice little thing to have because its kind of expensive. BUT. when you are using a normal map that is very very grainy like the journey people are, for all the sparkles. having texture fidelity hold up at all angles is very very important. because without it, your textures can get a bit muddied when viewing it from any angle that isnt Straight On, and this will happen

cool? sure. but not what they were going for!! (16 means that the aniso is allowed to sample the mip maps sixteen times!! thats a lot)

but luckily aniso 16 allows for that pixel perfect normal map look they are going for. EXCEPT. when viewed from the steepest of angles. bringing us back here

so how did they fix this ? its really really clever. yo uguys rmemeber mip maps right. so if you have a texture. and have its mip maps look like this

that means that anything closer to you will look darker, because its sampling from the biggest mip map, and the further away you get, the lighter the texture is going to end up. EXCEPT !!!! because of aisononotropic filtering. it will do the whole sample other mip maps too. and the places where the anisotropic filtering fail just so happen to be the places where it starts sampling the furthest texture. making the parts that fail that are close to the camera end up as white!!!

you can see that little ridge that was causing problems is a solid white at the tip, when it should still be grey. so they used this and essentially just told it not to render sparkles on the white parts. problem solved

we arent done yet though because you guys remember the mip maps? well. they are causing their own problems. because when you shrink down the sparkly normal map, it got Less Sparkly, and a bit smooth. soooo . they just made the normal map mip maps sharper (they just multipled them by 2. this just Worked)

the Sharp mip maps are on the left here!!

and uh... thats it!!!! phew. hope at least some of this made sense

[violetasteracademic]

Hi , I want to ask if you think Lucien was always meant to have a rejected mating bond with an Archeron sister ?

Hello lovely anon!

So.... this is a tough question to answer- because where does always begin in the writing process?

Does it begin in the first draft? Does it begin in the wild prophetic visions you have at three am that you want to scribble down but you don't because you are trying to sleep, but still, it lingers? Does it begin in a beat sheet, a plot outline, a Pinterest board?

I'm not sure if SJM always intended a rejected mating bond. To be completely honest, I go back and forth. I think that Sarah has let a lot of things slip that she wrote that were never going to even be submitted to her editor on a first draft (like the famed Nesta/Cassian/Azriel batwich, RIP and I'm still waiting on SJM to write a threesome). And yet when she shares those things, people almost consider it canon and analyze it to death and use it to prove certain things. At some point, she probably really genuinely considered making Lucien and one of the sisters a couple, but I can't say for sure where in the process that died.

I remember seeing Emily Henry share on her stories recently an addition to her "RIP" character list- as in characters that she had written that literally did not even make it into the book. The first draft of Beach Read was actually a love triangle, involving some local guy who owns an ice cream business or something of the sort who is also trying to romance January. I can see what she might have been trying to do there- give January two options reflecting two sides of her. Ice Cream Steve (not sure if those details are correct but we'll go with it) would have served as a perfect foil to Grave Digging, Bleak Literary Fiction Author Gus. But ultimately, Ice Cream Steve did not even make it to the book. Do we treat him as real? Do we wonder if he may have been a better fit for January? Do we analyze what this means for January and Gus?

I'll get a little bit into the technicality of what developmental editing is and how it can completely reshape a story, erase characters, create characters, and shift their storylines, but what I do know is this- the function of Lucien being assigned an Archeron sister, any Archeron sister, is completely clear: To win him over to the Night Court as an ally and embolden him to help Feyre get away from Tamlin. This is absolutely critical. Lucien's role in the story since this hasn't developed romantically because he is mated to one of the Archeron sisters, it has spun off in a new direction plot wise with the Band of Exiles, Vassa, Koschei, and the human queens- which also develops a tentative relationship between himself and his brother Eris again, with his mating bond hovering in the background. However, his mating bond began this new direction, and it wouldn't have existed without it:

Lucien would not have left if it were not for the mating bond. I believe that is the element that was always true. Lucien's mating bond, be it with Elain, or Nesta as originally planned, was always going to be a plot device. And I can answer where I believe the story of a love triangle at the very least began its groundwork- which is A Court of Mist and Fury. I personally think that as of publishing ACOMAF Lucien and Elain were already done, fizzling out in the developmental editing process, and Azriel and Elain were endgame, but I'm open to those who see it differently.

Before we move on, here are the different types of editors:

A development editor basically edits the story at large. They focus on elements like theme, character development, plot holes, ECT. When dealing with a series, often times an author will provide a detailed packet to their developmental editor before doing dev runs. This is because the developmental editor needs to understand where the story is headed. They need to understand what needs to be appropriately foreshadowed, what themes to highlight, and keep their eye on the big picture so that everything comes to a well developed, emotionally charged, and thematically satisfying conlcusion.

What is clear to me is that Azriel and Elain were being developed emotionally and thematically in ACOMAF:

These are the types of passages that focus on the big picture. Before Feyre's sisters have become Fae, Feyre is musing on what her sisters would be like in Velaris. She thinks about how Nesta would like it, despite herself, and become fast friends with Amren (true) and how Elain would like Velaris, but she would cling to Azriel for peace and quiet. True. Feyre considers how handsome Elain and Azriel would be together if he ever stopped loving Mor.

Developmentally- what is the purpose of this? It's the same book that Lucien and Elain's mating bond is revealed, so why muse on Elain and Azriel as a couple if Azriel could get over Mor, which he now has because of Elain? Meanwhile, Elain is engaged. Feyre doesn't say a word about that. She sees how her sister would want to be with someone like Azriel, and Feyre doesn't even think twice about Graysen because Azriel is right for her sister. This isn't Feyre being an unreliable narrator. Everything else in this passage came to be true.

These are the types of moments developmental editors hone in on to make sure theme and foreshadowing are strong and successful.

Of course this is already after the beautiful moments Azriel and Elain have together- Azriel getting shy and self conscious before dropping one of the most beautiful lines in all the books about being born hearing the song of the wind. Elain already being able to read Azriel- looking to him and smiling and finding comfort and assessing his countenance to see if everything is going okay.

If I'm a developmental editor, and I wanted it to be really clear why Lucien and Elain were right for each other- why would I keep all of this in? Why tie Elain and Azriel together thematically and emotionally? So again, this is where the question "where does always begin" comes into play. Did SJM realize in her first draft that Nesta and Lucien weren't going to work, so she switched to Elain, only to realize that Elain and Lucien don't have chemistry either? Was it after a developmental edit? I can't say for sure on that end. Maybe ACOMAF truly was just setting up a love triangle, but personally I think Elain and Az were always endgame as of the books being published, and trying to explore Elain and Lucien as a couple probably died out before the final draft of ACOMAF and SJM realized Lucien still needed to be mated to one of the sisters, thus ideas about the rejected mating bond started stirring instead and then were hit HARD in ACOWAR. I can see the argument that the door was being kept open for Lucien in ACOMAF, though I personally think Lucien's mating bond reveal was strictly a plot device. But what is extremely clear is that as of ACOWAR the path was set in stone.

Again- these are the things where, not to take credit away from Sarah, a developmental editor really comes into play. If Sarah is going, okay- who is Lucien going to end up with? Nesta? No, it can't be Nesta, even though that was originally the plan. Elain? Maybe, it could be Elain. What does that look like? Maybe it was Lucien and Elain in the pitch packet. Then a developmental editor goes, okay- where are we headed? What are the themes? What are the character arcs and growth we are looking for?

Then we move on to ACOWAR, and both of them were developed to have a theme of choice threaded into their interactions:

What these moments make clear is that the mating bond makes it impossible for Elain and Lucien to get what they truly want out of love with each other- for someone to love and choose them beyond the circumstances placed on them. Lucien wants this just as much as Elain does. They are now thematically connected in that way- in wanting to be chosen above all, despite everything. That's where this Facebook comment makes soooo much sense:

Nesta didn't have any growth or healing to offer Lucien, because thematically there was not really anything there between them. Nesta and Cassian also had this instant, intense connection that could not be ignored or played slowly. Nesta also didn't lose her fiance, she herself saying she had as little at stake in Velaris as she did on the other side of the wall. Nesta had anger and resentment. Elain had loss, which on the surface could thematically match Lucien, but then we dig deeper to learn that they aren't only needing to heal from the loss of love, they are needing to heal from the loss of choice.

Elain was engaged to a man who hates fae. And Elain was always going to become Fae.

Lucien had his history and story with Jesminda since book one. He thought Jesminda was his mate. The woman who loved him for him, not because he was a High Lord's son or because of any other High Fae customs Lucien rejects. This is where you see the development. Lucien and Elain could have worked on an incredibly surface level, both of them having lost their first loves, but deeper themes revealed themselves that showed they mirror each other in a way that doesn't make them right for each other, but that allows them to face what needs to be faced: being strong and brave enough to choose for themselves instead of letting the world control them.

For Elain and Lucien to have made sense together thematically, everything should have been reversed. Elain should have been mated to Azriel, and then Elain and Lucien should have met somehow and fallen in love, and the choosing each other above all, love trumping even a mating bond, Lucien being chosen and loved without question, without hesitation, would have belonged to them.

But again, without the mating bond, Lucien and Elain wouldn't even have met in the first place and Lucien would not have left Spring. So where does that leave us? The mating bond as a plot device. It was literally required to move the story forward, but thematically is anticlimactic for both parties in terms of the kind of love they want for themselves.

So- was Lucien always going to have a mating bond rejection? Probably not. But where in the years long process did all of this reveal itself? Only Sarah knows that. But I think what is quite clear is that it was always going to happen if we start from what is published in the books between him and Elain.

I think it's very possible that SJM did really intend for Lucien to wind up with one of the sisters. But if you've ever gone through the writing process yourself, you realize pretty quickly how many things fall apart and don't work/make sense/are actually anti-thematic to the characters you've created. Maybe she'll tell us one day exactly when Elain and Lucien fell apart, just like Nesta and Lucien fell apart. But we do have to keep in mind that an author like SJM, who was able to sell a trilogy all at once, probably had to have at least a 25 page packet outlining the trilogy and it's development. So- was it Nesta and Lucien in the pitch packet? Was it Elain and Lucien, because even while structuring a pitch she realized Nesta and Lucien would never work while outlining, but thought Elain and Lucien would? Only to discover Elain and Azriel connecting while drafting ACOMAF?

Writing a book is years of plotting, outlining, writing, rewriting, editing, writing again, and sometimes what you come up with is unrecognizable from the plan. And considering SJM contracted a trilogy, she would have pitched in pretty significant detail what would happen in book two and book three. We'll see what Sarah does and does not choose to reveal!

I think that's everything! I love getting these questions from you guys. I still have a cue in my inbox, and I am sorry it's kind of random when my inspiration strikes and I have a clear answer and can quickly think of the passages and ideas! But I will try to get to my older ones that have been sitting for a minute, I promise!

What do you guys think? I know everyone has different thoughts on this and I love to hear them!

[humbledragon669]

S2E2 - The Clue Write Up P4 - Land of Uz: Crowley speaks to Job to a little alone time in the cellar

I’m going to start with an incredibly quick note, just in case there’s anyone out there reading this who doesn’t know/hasn’t realised that the actor playing Job is Peter Davison, who is not only linked to David Tennant by way of having played the fifth Doctor, but is also his father-in-law (in real life). I think I’m probably preaching to the converted with that little nugget, but it pays to be cautious with these things.

Alright, let’s get going proper, shall we? And I want to give a little nod of acknowledgement for the camera work we see going “through” the book page into the scene beyond. Not the first time we’ve seen this technique used to transition the audience from one place (in time, mood, or location) to another, but it’s pretty smooth nonetheless, and achieves its desired effect effortlessly. There’s something utterly ridiculous about some of the script for this initial scene too - some random dude shows up in your newly destroyed barn asking for your children and you don’t stop to ask who he is and what he wants? In fact, why not direct him to your wife to be as helpful as possible? Don’t stop there though, why not start pouring your soul out to him in a keenly ironic speech about being delivered to demons. Sure. Very convincing. Still, I don’t suppose there’s much in the way of official records of this conversation to base the scene on, is there…

Miracle noise alert! This one definitely originates from Crawley and definitely differs from the one we most recently associated with Aziraphale.

This one is… “flatter” is the word that springs to mind when I hear it. I think it’s intended to sound closer to a snake hiss; of textural note we are missing the little choir vocalisation that we heard in earlier miracle noises. Swinging back around to the theory about miracle noises relating to intent rather than caster, this particular noise would prove both theories. I guess what I really want to hear at this point is the noise from a miracle definitely cast only by Crowley with good or neutral intent. That might put this theory to bed for me, but I think we’ll have to wait a while for that (off the top of my head I can’t think if we get one of those in these season, but I’ll be on the look-out).

I find the choice of words used in the opening arguments between Aziraphale and Crawley interesting:

Aside from the opportunity to revel in Aziraphale admitting he was wrong about something, I think the different uses of don’t have to/couldn’t/can/will in this wordplay are worth noting. To avoid this getting too wordy, I’m going to break this down into a table to demonstrate:

And all of this hammered home with a final plea from Aziraphale, returning to his original point, and making an explicit statement that he believes that being a demon involves the ability to exercise free will (let’s face it, it kinda doesn’t - Crawley has little official choice than to follow orders, just like the angel). This point of view will become interesting as the season progresses and we see Aziraphale’s beliefs about free will and how it ties in with humanity morphing - after all, it wasn’t all that long ago that he was trying to convince a bunch of archangels on the street that the whole point of being human (not a demon) is to exercise free will (at least in our chronology - this conversation with Crawley and the one with the angels on the street are actually separated by some 4500 years…). What’s interesting to me about his beliefs at this particular point in time, is that they suggest at least part of his understanding of the differences between the agents of Heaven and Hell isn’t to do with morality or intent, it’s the presence/absence of free will. Ergo, the opposite of “Good” isn’t “Evil”, but “Choice”. Oof, that one hits pretty deep, doesn’t it? I could get into a big discussion about how this does or doesn’t resemble major religions even today but I feel like that goes a bit beyond my qualifications, so instead I’ll just make one more point about this handful of lines between our hero couple, this one on another more word choice for Aziraphale:

AZIRAPHALE: Crawley… You don’t have to destroy Job’s children.

Notice the word “destroy” and not “kill”. I’m not sure why this distinction has been made, not least because Crawley has already told Aziraphale 500 years previously that killing kids is not something he can get onboard with.

Maybe the word choice has been swayed somewhat by Crawley’s supposed disposal of the goats, where they simply disappeared in a puff of smoke. Perhaps “destroy” was thought to be a stronger word than “kill”, though that’s not a stance I would agree with, and I actually feel like it offers the opportunity to distance the “destroyer” from their actions somewhat.

Before we get too deep into the weeds with the next mini-section of Aziraphale pleading, there’s something I want to lay on the table. The last time this pair saw each other was 500 years ago. We saw that meeting, and earlier in this episode they even went so far as to confirm that was the last time they saw each other. That meeting, filled with shocking revelations about Heaven’s actions as it was, was very friendly. VERY friendly. We’ve gone from Crawley looking at Aziraphale like this:

to this:

I mean… What happened? No, seriously, what the actual fuck happened? The tension between this pair is palpable in both scenes, but they are very different types of tension. I’ve always thought that there’s something off about the way their conversation starts at the beginning of the minisode: it feels like that awkward conversation you have with someone when you bump into them after having had a blazing row and neither of you has apologised and despite time passing, you’re both still sore about it. Almost like… unexpectedly bumping into your ex? I realise that was all really wordy, when all I’m really trying to say is that I’m not clear on why the relationship feels so strained at the beginning of the minisode, just like I’m not clear on why Crowley is so grumpy when we see him in Rome. It occurs to me that we don’t see the end of their encounters in Mesopotamia and Golgotha (the previous meetings to Uz and Rome, respectively), and once again I say: what the actual fuck happened?

If we consider the possibility that the meeting in Mesopotamia potentially did not end as amicably as it began, Aziraphale’s desperate pleading with Crawley to do the right thing in this Land of Uz scene feels perhaps a bit more understandable. And let’s just be clear about Aziraphale’s plan of attack at this point - he’s no longer asking a demon not to the “bad” thing, he’s appealing to Crawley to be the being that he has fallen in love with come to know in the years before - one that is incapable of doing the unspeakable things he’s been tasked with.

Wait, wait, did I say understandable? Because this is truly unbearable for me - I can’t watch this without choking back a sob, for real. The little gulp as Crawley’s words hit home, the slumping shoulders, the slight wobble in his bottom lip, the rasping breath he takes (OH BUT THAT INTAKE OF BREATH WILL KILL ME). He is absolutely, and completely, devastated. And who can be surprised, because that speech from Crawley (complete with background hiss noise as he removes his glasses) is pure venom (no snake pun intended). Everything the demon says at this point is said with the sole purpose of hurting Aziraphale (and I say again: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!), prompting Aziraphale to use his ultimate weapon - it’s the forgiveness line. There is something particular about this usage though - on this occasion he doesn’t forgive Crawley personally, he asks for forgiveness on his behalf, which we’ve seen once before: on the bandstand. That encounter was very definitely a break-up and for a second it looks like this one might have been going the same way, and I think I speak on behalf of the entire fandom when I thank those goats for not being able to keep their mouths shut here.

As much as I am fully onboard with Aziraphale’s smugness in his response to finding out that Crawley was indeed the being he thought he was, I can’t help but feel like it’s slightly misplaced, and here’s why:

CRAWLEY: Doesn’t mean we’re on the same side. AZIRAPHALE: No, no!

You see, I don’t think Aziraphale has realised that his actions have actually gone against Heaven’s wishes at this point. So as far as he’s concerned, Crawley and him being on the same side (which is clearly what he thinks, given the vocal delivery) means that Crawley is also on Heaven’s side. Which he most certainly isn’t, and even though the demon has a much clearer idea of how things are progressing, it’s obvious that Aziraphale thinks that Crawley’s point of view is just a cover story for him actually being on Heaven’s side. I think this is the first time that the idea of third “side” (i.e. not for Heaven or Hell) is introduced, chronologically speaking, even if it was thought to be a temporary arrangement and not specifically termed as “their side”. I find myself wondering if Crawley’s acknowledgement that they are “temporarily not on different sides” is the reason he doesn’t protest being called an angel by Job’s eldest daughter (Keziah), but perhaps that’s just because he wants to lull them into a false sense of security for the grand finale coming up.

I will be preaching to the converted for the second time in this write-up now I know, but as I said, it pays to be cautious. The young man playing Ennon is David’s in-real-life son. This episode is quite the family affair! Having that little bit of knowledge makes Crawley’s reaction to this self-important, arrogant little shit all the more funny too.

And whilst we’re on the subject of Crawley’s reactions, I love this facial expression we see in reaction to Aziraphale deciding to throw his weight around:

I slowed it down a bit, but you can see his face twitch ever so slightly just after Aziraphale starts bellowing, like it actually took him by surprise. Pranked or not, I think it’s pretty obvious to see that he does not think this new strategy from the angel is a good one. The background acting doesn’t stop here either, with an adorable little squeak from him in response to Jemimah’s charming nature. It makes me feel a bit sorry for the kids in the scene really, who are (I hope) acting their little socks off being the most repulsive versions of children they can be whilst David just stands there pulling a few faces/making some noises and manages to steal the scene.

There’s no reason for that gif other than to watch a loop of David winking (extremely careful typing required with that sentence).

Alright, maybe there was a little reason, other than pure aesthetics. I know I’m not the only one to say I find the interaction between Crawley and Jemimah adorable, but outside of just being really cute, this relationship does serve a narrative purpose in the context of the storyline. This playful banter he establishes with the young child is what lays the road for some mischief. I’ve talked about it in earlier write-ups, but we don’t see an awful lot of the mischievous demon in this season. Well, all that’s about to change, and I’m pretty relieved because up to now everything Crawley has done in this minisode has felt very serious. I love seeing him getting joy in causing harmless mayhem.

I also find it interesting that this side of the demon has only been allowed out now that he and Aziraphale have found some common ground - the dislike of the two older children - which suggests that their relationship is getting back on track. On that note, it occurs to me that he hasn’t been wearing his sunglasses for any of this scene, which had been firmly glued to his face right from the beginning of the minisode, even when he was alone of the top of a mountain. Whatever happened to cause the angry tension between our hero couple (if anything happened), I think the lack of eyewear would suggest that Crawley is already well on the way to forgetting about it by this point.

I find this blustering from Aziraphale interesting. He refuses to name Crawley as what he physically is, choosing to believe that because the demon’s intentions aren’t malign, his demon nature is simply a technicality. By that same logic, that would mean Aziraphale himself is only “technically” an angel, yet you never hear him refer to himself as such. Ultimately, his motives behind this are honourable, desperate as he is to believe that Crawley is still one of the Good guys, and I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that there’s a double standard being applied here - that’s one of the motifs we see being applied to Heaven throughout the show (“one rule for us, another rule for everyone else”). He’s right in the end of course (at least as far as Crawley’s intentions anyway).

He knows Crawley has absolutely no desire to kill children, despite the fact that the house is blazing around them. The demon told him he couldn’t kill kids, remember?

There’s something about this exchange that niggles at me. On the surface it seems like we’ve gone back to an angry Crawley, challenging Aziraphale on his character judgement. I think there’s maybe a bit more to it though. There is a vague suggestion of Crawley asking Aziraphale if he really trusts him here, even though it’s not explicitly stated. And that trust theme is something we see developing, chronologically, throughout the minisodes of this season. The Agreement is a long way off into the future (about 3500 years in the future in fact), but I find myself wondering if this challenge from Crawley is its first iteration, because I think this is actually him asking Aziraphale if he’s sure he wants to be part of the plot to save the children. If that’s the case, and the angel understands the subtext, it would explain why he makes his declaration of surety so assuredly. And look at him making way for Crawley to deliver his coup de grace, united with the demon, and sure of his decision:

Side note: I love the fact that everything in that room falls through the ceiling to the floor below completely intact, including the table which is already laden with a whole ox carcass. The only sign of anything being disturbed is the noise of a metal pot settling.

Aziraphale’s response to this latest turn of events reminds me of what we see from him when he embarks on his journey to Edinburgh.

He’s so contented - he’s turned the whole thing into a game. One with a trail of clues he had to work out to solve the mystery of how the evil demon could still be an angel underneath it all. And he’s figured it all out, even though he knew it all along anyway, which Crawley is clearly not thrilled about. There’s another layer going on here though I think, because (if I’ve got my chronology right), this is the first time the demon has “rescued” the angel from a perilous situation. Never mind that the perilous situation was created by the demon in the first place. Besides, that might have been part of the game for all we know because it’s only now that Aziraphale starts to give Crawley a bit of slack for him to actually use the cover he’s trying to create for himself. And hold on, what’s this?

Is that a wink? Certainly looks like one to me. He also starts to use collective pronouns from this point, suggesting that he, just like Crawley, is getting comfortable with this relationship again.

We get some miracle noises in the cellar to have a quick look at here, although they are somewhat obscured by the soundtrack. Brief tangent: I’m not sure there are any miracle noises to be heard in the scene a moment ago where Crawley sets fire to the house, with the exception of the last one he does, opening up the floor to the cellar. That one, which is even more difficult to make out that the lizard-transformations, sounds more like the ones we heard from Aziraphale’s miracle in the pub, with that swelling noise that gets used so often in epic soundtracks. If that was the case, that definitely points towards the noise relating to the mindset of the caster, because that one would either have been driven by need or by the caster having good moral intent. The sounds we hear on the cellar on the other hand; they sound more like the snakelike versions we heard from Crawley earlier, although there’s something about them that sounds less ominous than previously.

In the last point of this part of the write-up, I find it notable that Aziraphale doesn’t try to interfere with Crawley’s transforming of the children, even though it’s clear he disapproves.

Perhaps it’s because he realises he’s pushed Crawley too far already to chastise him further for showing his true colours. Maybe it’s because there’s not really any harm being done in his actions. Maybe it’s because the angel was as disgusted with Ennon and Keziahs’ attitudes as Crawley is. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s because he’s actually pretty happy to be able to spend some time with the demon alone. I know which one of those theories I like the most.

This seems like as good a place as any to wrap up this part of the write-up, not least because we’re about to get to a pivotal moment of Aziraphale’s personal development and a fandom favourite in the relationship development, and I’ve already written far too many words on this tiny section to be normal. For now, and as always, questions, comments, discussion: always welcome and see you for the next one 😊