#this show was and is super important to me

[femchef]

Some really cool ongoing research and clinical studies are being done about the affects of what have been recently termed ‘ultra-processed’ foods have on bodies - that sounds like a “duh” project but!!! It’s really awesome because the research is attempting to narrow down the whys and whats and it’s been yielding some cool results????

Short notes:

- researchers are attempting to nail down categories of processed food - I’m not sold on the categories yet, but nothing is 100% and I would consider this still early stage research, though ground breaking

- processed food isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and actually there are quite a few processed foods that aren’t harmful to you, which is good, because people deserve ease of access to food

- ‘ultra-processed’ is a really new term - currently this category encompasses foods that meet a very specific criteria: example, whole-food products which have been broken down into individual nutritive or non-nutritive components and re-configured into another product with the addition of other additives used in place of now-missing natural components - the difference between whole fat yogurt and low-fat yogurt is a good example (full fat yogurt requires less ingredients - literally just milk and a bacterial agent to activate the coagulative properties of lactic acid on already existing proteins; skim or low fat yogurt requires a few additional gelling, preservation and setting agents because in removing the fat you remove a lot of the protein so you have to mimic the natural process with something else; also if you have an instant pot use it to make yogurt it’s fun and easy and tastes good).

- (also please watch out for health influencers and companies throwing around the new term ‘ultra-processed’ and don’t let them make it confusing you know they’re gonna run with that one tbh)

- CARBS ARE GOOD FOR YOU. YOU NEED THEM. That is very important ok don’t stop giving yourself carbs

- on that note - FATS ARE GOOD FOR YOU. YOU NEED THEM. That is ALSO important and something you should not stop eating.

- so the really cool point: research is showing that THE LITERAL PROCESSES we use to manufacture cheap food products are causing issues - because they are too calorie dense!! Example: dehydrating foods concentrates calories and nutrients and makes those foods super calorie-rich (think protein bars before a marathon); the reason for this isn’t necessarily bad either - we have foods like this because food researches and nutritionists have spent decades trying to pack as much nutrition into inexpensive food as possible to ostensibly keep things like pellagra from happening. There are other affects manufacturing has in foods but this point is the salient one

- in terrible, unscientific terms, you could think of it as something like we’ve concentrated the power of our food a little too much and need to pull back - dial it down a bit, as it were.

- additionally, a loaf of sourdough from your local bakery made in house is healthy, as a opposed to a loaf of wonder bread at the grocery store or the frozen shipped in bread at the Panera - both of which have shelf-stable additives, but! That also doesn’t mean that those products are wholly bad - again, see point above about how not all processed foods are bad.

- another interesting part of the research, though to me it reads a bit more speculatively at the moment, is that the hyper-intense pairings of fat -salt-sugar in foods is something that our bodies get super excited about and want to eat more of, because those combinations so rarely occur naturally. I want to see more on that point over the years, but it does tie back to our food being a bit too concentrated in all points thing above.

- in related but slightly separate research we are finding that starch foods - potatoes, rice, etc - if made about 12 hours ahead and chilled then reheated have more accessible nutrients and healthy carbohydrates and also don’t hit your body’s sugar levels negatively.

All that to say that OP is right and should say it.

There’s a nice, condensed article in The New Yorker this week if you want to read a little more and get the names of the researchers - don’t let the title scare you off, it’s written like clickbait on purpose.

‘bread is bad for you’ ‘rice is bad for you’ sorry im not subscribing to the idea that staple grains that have been integral to cultures for centuries are evil. i love you carbs

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

I Want You Back

This was originally requested by Anon who asked: "Could you make headcanons where you have an established relationship with the Tokyo Debunker characters but your ex suddenly tries to win you back?" The links to the other houses are below.

Fandom: Tokyo Debunker

Characters: Haru Sagara, Towa Otonashi, Ren Shiranami x gn! Reader (separate)

Frostheim | Vagastrom | Jabberwock | Sinostra | Hotarubi | Obscuary | Mortkranken

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're happily in a relationship with the Tokyo Debunker characters. So how will they react when your ex suddenly tries to win you back?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Haru’s pretty neutral about all this. Sure, he’s not happy your ex is trying to get you back but he’ll keep a level head and talk to you about things before he does anything rash.

Please, give him permission to tear into your ex though! He’s going to pull out the classic “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed” look and chastise your ex until they have no choice but to back down.

I think he might be a bit more protective afterwards though. He realises just how close he came to losing you and then he got to thinking about how sad everyone in Jabberwock would be if you left.

So if he’s a bit more clingy than usual or makes more time for you, don’t be surprised. He’s doing his best to show you how much he cares.

Your ex tries to take away Towa’s partner? Oh, jail for your ex! Jail for one thousand years! Seriously though, Towa’s not going to stand for this.

He’s pulling out all the stops to get your ex to leave you alone. Throwing poisonous flowers at them, making angry humming sounds, even calling on the weather to make their day that bit worse.

If you ask him to stop, he will but only while you’re watching. As soon as your back’s turned, Towa’s going straight back to intimidating your ex.

He wants to stay with you and make sure you’re happy with him as well. So he’s also going to double down on his displays of affection towards you. Hope you like flowers.

Ren’s a lot like Kaito in that he doesn’t think he deserves you. So as soon as your ex starts trying to get you back, he’s going to get super self conscious.

But he’s a lot more open with his jealousy than the others. He won’t tell you directly that he’s jealous but it’s super obvious from the way he sulks when your ex is around.

As soon as you tell him you don’t want to be with your ex though, he’s going to play it off as if he was never worried.

Even if you give him permission to tell off your ex, Ren probably won’t do it. He doesn’t like confrontation and would much rather spend that time with you than with your ex. Not that he’ll ever tell you that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey, did you enjoy this? If you like my writing, please consider donating to my Ko-Fi page! This will allow me to make some money off my writing, something I enjoy doing.

ko-fi.com/justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms

Important Note: Please only donate if you are financially able to. If you are currently in a position where you can't donate, a like, comment or reblog will mean just as much.

[southconfessionpark]

i love the cartman and kyle rivalry as well as cartman’s fucked up friendship with butters for the humor it brings but god do I sometimes think it’s over-utilized (particularly when it comes to kyle and cartman. of course their rivalry is super important in the show and I don’t want it to go away, but it’s been used much more to the point where sometimes it gets old.) I think they use the cartman and butters friendship very effectively. id love to see more of Kenny and Cartman’s friendship rivalry, for example. the way Kenny goes after him is so fucking funny to me like in the NASCAR episode as well as how he more carefully undermines him in the coon trilogy. it’s in much more of a quiet yet brutal way than Kyle’s familiar wrath. plus Kenny getting along with cartman is just as funny as those two easily have the most 10 yr old boy humor dynamic which is also hilarious to see. Kenny handles cartman so much differently than Kyle in a refreshing way. loved loved loved their dinkin baus episode this last season when they were just two aligned bestie assholes creating dick hot dogs Cartman’s dynamic with stan is also so underutilized too. Cartman used to have a more equal rivalry with kyle and stan and occasionally still can, but oddly has seemed to gain some odd respect for stan (desperately wanting him in the affinity group for the Cred drink, actually saving the pangolin, etc). the main time we really see them have an episode focused on their dynamic alone is the beaver dam episode which is such a classic and how I imagine most of their one-on-one hang outs work (‘boats don’t have parking breaks you dumbass!’ gets me every time)

[made-my-peace-with-all-the-bad]

We don’t talk enough about how important it is that Runs in the Family is the only song (to my knowledge) that is just one person. There’s no ensemble, it’s just one voice. It’s just Darrel. Because he is going through a struggle that no other character can relate to. His problems are so uniquely his that there’s no one he thinks he doesn’t have anyone to lean on.

How this song sounds like it’s his list of complaints, but in actuality, it’s his plea for someone to help him. It’s not a super slow song or a song with obviously sad lyrics, so we can tend to think it’s him just venting. But when we look closer, especially to lyrics like “I keep treading water, but I sink just like a stone”. That’s a direct example of him describing how he feels. He’s drowning. He’s drowning in bills, in grief, and in fear. He’s terrified because he thinks that one day, the state will wake up and realize he’s not fit to be raising his brothers. One day, the social worker, who’s probably double his age if not more, who he convinced that he was capable of taking care of his two teenage brothers, will show back up at his door and take them away. He’s terrified. He says that himself in the line “I don’t know what them boys would ever do without me, and what would I do in my own?” He works extra hard because he needs there to be money.

He needs to keep his brothers safe and warm and fed. He needs to be the one providing that because that’s the only way he truly knows they’re being taken care of. And if he needs to drown to make sure they’re ok, he’s willing to make that sacrifice.

[forgetme-eternally-blissfully]

HOLY MOTHER OF ALBERU THIS IS AMAZING

Okay but super really? this is incredible. I feel like I'm going to be watching this on repeat for 15 hours until I've extracted all the happy hormones that it's emitting

The world's greatest actor || Og Cale animatic

After 155 frame later I present to you my tribute to the original occupant of cale henituse body

Do I gonna make something like this again in near future? Well who knows

[fancyperfectionsweets]

Astrology Observations 🥀🏚️

💞 This is fucking crazy but I read somewhere that the moon's zodiac in your D9 chart shows the ascendant/sun/moon of your spouse of their natal chart and I checked mine and my boyfriend's and it's literally the same?? His moon is in Capricorn. I'm a Capricorn rising and mine is in Pisces moon in D9 and this man is a Pisces rising?? Tf?? 🤯🤯

⚖️ A debilitated sun represents bad relationships with their father. Sun represents the father in the chart. In my personal observation, fathers or even people who can represent father figures in the libra sun's life (older brothers, uncles) can be hypocritical, take advantage of them or cannot be dependent on for any kind of support. One of the hardest placements fr.

🔅 If your darkaraka has another planet in the same house, your spouse can also have similar qualities of this planet. For eg., sun dk with mercury in the same house means that yes, your partner will be famous or has ego (sun qualities) but can also have "younger" or childlike qualities or they may be younger to you (mercury qualities).

👁️ Neptune first house = big doe eyes (no matter which zodiac).

👩‍💻 It is said that having a stellium in the 11th house can attract online stalking behaviour and it's true 🥲 . I have an 11th house stellium (sun + mercury + pluto) and I've had so many fake accounts and dating profiles made of me that I've given up trying to get them reported. I'll report one account and find another one. Aaaaa 😭 truly annoying.

🌹 Want to know the ideal time to meet a potential partner? Check your 7th house zodiac. When venus or jupiter comes in this sign, this is when you're likely to find romantic interests. I found out that my first relationship was when jupiter was in cancer (my 7th house lord) and I mostly bumped into my boyfriends when venus is in cancer.

🛌 4th house synastry is literally so comforting? You can be the coldest person and still be dreaming of building a home together with this person once they walk into your life

🌟 Weirdly enough, I've noticed that when people have Saturn + jupiter conjunction in whichever house they come across as super assured about those house's themes. If it's in the first house, the native is sure of himself. In the third house, they can be sure of their communication skills and be pretty blunt.

🦋 Libra 10th house, libra 1st house and venus doms: their obsession to be put together in public needs to be studied.

🤑 If you are born in 1997, there is a huge chance that Jupiter is in its debilitation zodiac in your chart (jupiter was in Capricorn that year). So here's two ways the debilitation can be cancelled.

1) Check your D9 chart. If Jupiter is exalted there or is sitting with another exalted planet, the debilitation of your natal chart gets cancelled

2) check if Saturn was in Pisces (which it was mostly that year). Pieces is jupiter's zodiac and capricorn is Saturn's. They are sitting in each other's zodiac according to vedic astrology, making something called parivartan yog. In Parivartan yog, these planets become almost exalted, debilitation gets cancelled and the houses they are in, becomes important. The parivartan yog is always better if none of these planets are in the 6th, 8th or 12th house though. I think the luckiest placement here would be jupiter in 9th, saturn in 11th.

👊 Aries venus men? Why are y'all attracted to women who literally berate you, playfully beat you up and are mean to you??

🍑 I'm sorry but if you are going to involve yourself with a libra woman, know that more often than not, you're going to be "manipulated". This is because a libra woman thinks of manipulation as diplomacy or even a way of getting her way. This doesn't mean it's always negative. Libras understand that manipulation is sometimes done for the other person's good. My best friend is a libra and when I was underweight, she switched from serving me food from a small plate to a larger one to "manipulate" me to eat larger portions of food (more food looks less on larger plates) and I think it's so sweet 🥺❤️. They understand that forcing people to see a perspective is wrong so they try to not come across as forceful. They truly are diplomats of the zodiac.

❤️‍🔥 The 8th house also represents your hidden fears. In my case, I have a lilith there in leo. This sometimes manifests as icking out against leo and scorpio men. I may find them visually appealing but their traits piss me off so much.

[rom-e-o]

So I went back a re-listened to this entire episode. And here's the official transcript in PDF form. There are typos, so I'm not sure if it was auto-generated, but it's here and it's nice for skimming! All the good stuff is there.

This came out Oct. 10 (I listened to it in traffic in the Central West End while setting up a pop-up shop downtown). The game came out Oct. 31.

This was the FIRST time we got to experience Emmrich's voice, attitude and personality (outside the previous two short stories we was featured in) before the game came out. The first time we really got a comprehensive look at what was to come, for around 40 minutes.

So, after a re-listen:

The episode does a great job showing how enthusiastic, kind, elegant, intelligent and helpful he is. He's super kind to Nadia, and a little dweeby in moments. And a stickler for proper introductions. Wonderful.

In the game, we see him serve as a physician to Harding, mostly. Here, he does have a more medical angle, I'd say. Asking Nadia about her sleep, checking a broken ankle, etc.

He also had a more mad scientist-esque vibe? That would be more in-line with the concept art we saw, where we see him holding vials and in lab settings.

We get to see much more of Manfred acting like an assistant here, in. He's getting supplies, prepping kits, performing ritual steps, and actively helping Emmrich with tasks. We didn't see much of that in VG, so hearing Manfred being such a hands-on help is a treat.

This moment where Emmrich calls a spirit back to its body is fun foreshadowing for ThatTM game decision, if its intentional.

I thought Rolet would return in VG, since he and Emm seem to know each other and have an understanding of each's personalities. He almost felt like something of a butler to him? All the chapters have characters like this, but I liked how fun they were!

Rolet "what the hell is happening" Lastname, you are relatable.

Emmrich talking to a possessed body like a dog that got caught stealing a table scrap is hilarious.

And then ... that part.

Well, THAT was a traumatizing thing to witness. And it's not mentioned in VG at all. My first thought was, "Well, they wouldn't use a moment from a supplemental podcast for canonical, in-game characterization." But then I thought, "Why not?" Well, this was all likely written way before the game came out, and at the time, we didn't know how important all this information would be.

The podcast really was a fun sneak peek at the characters more than an official prequel/set-up. To that tune, it's a fun ride!

So this moment, to me, is a nice way of cementing Emmrich as a genuinely kind-hearted, morally good necromancer. A pretty unique take for this type of fantasy trope.

It would have been truly evil if, in-game, the phrase "this is on YOU" reared its head again, especially after Rook fell in the Fade. Ouch.

Adds new meaning to why he calls Rook "flame of my heart" if romanced, yes?

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

I read a post where Zuko is supposedly describing his girlfriend. This corresponds to the episode where he reproaches Mai for certain things she doesn’t have. Here are the points:

Zuko reproaches Mai for not having a passion for anything. This trait is attributed to Katara, who, on the contrary, is very passionate and invested in everything she undertakes.

He also reproaches her for not believing in anything. Again, this contrasts with Katara, who firmly believes in her ideals and her ability to make a difference.

Zuko would like Mai to sometimes be more tense, a bit "crazy," and let her emotions out instead of keeping them all inside. This criticism can be compared to Katara, who, in contrast, expresses herself freely, even if it doesn’t always please Zuko.

At another point, Zuko tells Mai that he likes it when she expresses her emotions. This reminds me of a scene from the episode The Southern Raiders, where Katara reproaches Zuko for his attitude during their conversation in Ba Sing Se, insisting on the importance of communicating emotions.

Finally, Zuko mentions that he’s looking for someone more open, a quality that, once again, is associated with Katara, known for her empathy and open-mindedness.

However, I think the person who wrote this post didn’t quite understand why Zuko likes Mai, and it left me confused. The words given are a bit vague. I understand the parallel, but I don’t quite see how it shows that Zuko would want a girlfriend who embodies those traits. The statements are given somewhat vaguely, without really explaining the context or the dynamic between Katara and Zuko, which makes the interpretation unclear.

And what do you think about it?

The biggest problem with using that scene as a "gotcha" against Maiko is the simple fact it is completely out of context.

Zuko lashed out because he had been trying to be nice to her earlier, with the seashell and ice-cream, Mai made it clear she wasn't impressed, and then a guy that was super into her showed up, making Zuko feel threatened because he grew up with a dad that taught him to believe that he was replaceable and had to fight to prevent it from happening.

So, he keeps confronting Mai on if she likes that guy, even after she repeatedly says she's completely indifferent to him, because he's insecure and afraid of losing her. Mai doesn't like that Zuko is being irrational and paranoid, calls him out on it, and Zuko gets defensive - and when Zuko gets defensive, he says stuff he doesn't mean.

Iroh is trying to make him see there's no way Ozai changed his mind about banishing him? Zuko says Iroh is lazy, shallow and jealous of Ozai. Iroh calls Zuko out for literally robbing people in the Earth Kingdom? Zuko says they have nothing to gain by traveling together and walks out. Iroh refuses to continue giving him advice after Zuko literally caused him to be sent to prison? Zuko calls him crazy and tells him to rot.

There is a clear pattern here, yet it is never used by anyone to argue that this is how Zuko genuinely feels about his uncle/father figure, because there's tons of scenes of them together that prove how much love he has for the man. The same applies to Mai.

He still thinks back on the prank Azula pulled on the two of them because of Mai's crush on him YEARS after they've lost contact. He is super physically affectionate with her (something he had trouble being comfortable with even with Iroh) to the point that they're CONSTANTLY making out in front of other people. He consistently turns to her for emotional support (which she got better at providing). They have dates all the time because they like each other's company. He mentions her as being THE thing he had to sacrifice when changing sides. And again, the whole reason he's jealous on The Beach is because he WANTS Mai as his girlfriend.

Dude literally says the words "You're so beautiful when you hate the world" and smiles like a simp when Sokka refers to her as "That gloomy girl who sighs a lot."

I am not going to take ONE scene in which he's being mean as proof that he secretly hates her when, just like with Iroh, we see enough interactions between them during Zuko's good days to know that he did not mean a word of it - hence him IMMEDIATELY simping for Mai as she tells him to fuck off, then reconciling with her when she says a simple, but completely honest "I care about you" after he opens up about his crisis over his own dubious choices, as she can now see that he wasn't just being a dick for the sake of being a dick, he's just a confused kid trying to cope.

As for Katara, while I'm sure Zuko grew to admire her compassion and drive to help others, that is not enough to argue "she's his true soulmate/his type." EVERYONE in the Gaang is empathetic and passionate, and they all like to have fun. Same for his uncle.

"You're a nice, pleasant person" is not enough to make someone fall in love. Zuko clearly was much closer to Mai (as well as Toph and especially Aang) than he ever was with Katara, obviously liked her more chill personality (which became less and less apathetic as their relationship evolved, and thus they clashed less), was physically attracted to her, missed her when she wasn't around, and actually demonstrated jealously when someone else showed interest in her.

THAT is basis for a relationship, unlike "Ah, you also believe war is terrible? Nice. Good thing I stopped hating you for your race, right? Now we can be friends instead of killing each other!" - which, despite what Zutarians love arguing against, is ALL there is to Zuko and Katara's canon dynamic. They're on the same side, on the same friend group, and they don't hate each other (anymore). Hardly even best friends, let alone "meant to be."

Plus if Zuko was to ever hook up with anyone of the heroes, it'd be Aang and that is just a fact.

[loving-family-poll]

Pleaaase we need more people to code their own bots pleaaaase. I'll even give you a starting point, and if you can do better than me (not hard) I'll be super proud! With that settled: I mainly used Selenium with Python. Please make use of the "https://tumblr.com/logout" URL, it will be slightly easier than coding another click. Remember to use a VPN, I used Proton VPN for $0 and switched to another IP whenever Tumblr started to get mad at me. Use Stack Overflow and W3Schools for more and less specific questions respectively. The most important part is to have fun and be yourself!

Code literacy is very important in this day and age, and having relevant projects is a fantastic way to learn since it shows you how all the relevant concepts work together! If you were wondering about my ulterior motives.

Love,

- Botting for Gcest

I was wondering whether or not to publish this but yeah im gonna do it we here at loving-family-poll believe in posting fraud tips

[raddestrose]

December Sixth, a day that will go down in history.

Voltron Legendary Defender your absence from netflix will be felt across the world. And just know that you will be greatly missed.

🫡🫡🫡

[nenoname]

"And now I know why! He hates me!"

[cyanide-sippy-cup]

Okay, I've officially watched Arcane. Might be at risk of becoming a LoL fan. But I gotta say, people really misundersood the sex scene. It is one of the most thematically conclusive scenes in season 2. Cait finally lets go of her Jinx obsession, allowing herself peace while also helping the woman she loves. She wanted Vi to be someone who would agree with her, who would reinforce her ideals and actions. But in this moment, she shows that she accepts her. Her past, her flaws, and whatever the future holds. She chooses her over revenge. And in Cait accepting Vi, we have the opposite. Vi begged her not to change at the beginning of the season and yet she did. She forced herself to focus on revenge until it swallowed her whole, and Ambessa molded that into a fine weapon. But Vi changed her for the better. To someone who could find peace and make the changes they both wanted. And when Vi kisses her, it's a show that she accepts her too. She accepts the changes. And she's embracing the one thing she wanted this whole time- a family. Instead of chasing something she'll never get back, she accepts that things have changed and embraces her future. In a way, she's accepting her own life.

Also, the scene literally occurs in a jail cell. Yknow, the setting where they met to begin with. It represents new beginnings for them both. A moment in which they embrace each other and all the flaws and struggles that come with. They have plagued each others' minds all season and now they literally start over, allowing each other to focus on the battles ahead of them.

[luna-loveboop]

I want. Four to get appreciation. Because

Four gave a ton of unnoticed help when Twilight was injured

The fight with Wild was difficult, and I know we're all concerned about his negative view of the shadow crystal

But Four did something that no one else really thought of to help- He took care of Twi's stuff

From the beginning he told Twilight to not worry about them

So Four took care of pretty much everything but the others (that Sky and Wars handled)

He took care of Epona

Which is so very important- he took care of Twilight's horse. After her arrival at the stable Four followed up on her

And for Epona, a horse so attached to her human, having some company can help so much for reassurance

He took care of Twilight's stuff

He got Twi's shield- his bags and equipment, and organized it into one place

And he was worried. He obviously found the shadow crystal while handling Twi's stuff, but his negative reactions to it were out of concern.

Also- because of his placement in this scene

I'm fairly convinced Four was ready to start cooking before Wild showed up (since he's beside the counter with food supplies). At the very least he had the basket of fruit out for everyone -but he was literally standing with food behind him- he thought of everything

And he did housekeeping!

Wars payed for the inn, so Four took care of the inn

Realistically these boys were probably not too concerned with tidyness. Four got all of Twi's things on one table, and took care of the room they stayed in

Organizing tables and Twi's things, having food supplies ready, and opening the curtains- overall he was the one tidying up the inn

Four helped in a huge way! He took care of Twi's horse (Epona is so important), his equipment and shield and bag, as well as the other rooms in the inn

Four filled in all the little tasks that others didn't think of. He helped in ways that were needed, but not obvious

There's a lot of problems with the shadow crystal and with Wild, and I don't know what's gonna happen in the future

But don't forget this- don't forget that Four was one who stepped up in an almost unnoticeable way

Don't forget that when everyone was barely holding it together, Four visited Twilight's horse and took care of his things

No matter what develops in the future- this amount of care shown is important ya know?

.

Art and comic from Jojo @linkeduniverse au :)))

[mc-glare-is-king]

“It sounds like it’s a lot easier to handle the world when it sounds like somebody is doing something bad to you on purpose. And it’s a lot harder to handle the world when you accept that bad things do happen to good people sometimes.”

- Vic Michaelis, Very Important People (Pig #2), Dropout TV

[lord-squiggletits]

I think the key component to my personal reading of post-Delphi Pharma is that he's trying to be a horrible person on purpose. Not "on purpose" in the way that people have free will to exercise their own choices, but in that Pharma's "mad doctor" persona is a performance he puts on to deliberately embrace how much everyone else hates him. Basically, if people already think you're a "bad Autobot" and a horrible doctor who just kills his patients for fun, why try to prove otherwise to people who have already made up their minds about you? Just fully embrace the fact that people see you as an asshole. Don't try to change their minds. Don't plead for their forgiveness or understanding. Just stop caring. If you're going to be remembered as a monster, you might as well be a memorable monster, and eke as much pleasure and hedonism as you can out of it before karma catches up to you and you inevitably crash and burn.

I mean, I guess you could just go the route of "Oh, Pharma was always a fucked up creepy guy and Delphi was just him taking the mask off," but I really don't like that interpretation because, for one, it feels really wrong to take a character like Pharma becoming evil under duress and going, "Oh well clearly he did the things he did because he was evil all along," as if somehow Pharma breaking under blackmail/torture/threat of horrible death was a sign of him having poor moral character. As opposed to, you know, suffering under the very real threat of horrible death for himself and everyone he cares about while being manipulated by a guy who specializes in psychological torture.

The second reason is that it just doesn't make sense to write Pharma as having been evil all along. I mean...

Occam's Razor says that the best argument is the one with the simplest explanation. Doesn't it make way more sense to take Pharma's appearances in flashbacks, his friendship with Ratchet, his stunning medical accomplishments, and the few we see of him speaking kindly/sympathetically (or in the least charitable interpretation, at least professionally) towards his patients and conclude "This guy was just a normal person, if exceptionally talented." Taking all of these flashback appearances at face value and assuming Pharma was being genuine/honest is a way simpler and more logical explanation than trying to argue that Pharma for the past 4 million years was just faking being a good doctor/person. I mean, it's possible within the realm of headcanon, but the fact is Pharma's appearances in the story are so brief that there simply wasn't room in the story for there to be some sort of secret conspiracy/hidden manipulation behind why Pharma acted the way he did in the past.

I just can't help but look at things like Pharma's friendship with Ratchet (himself a good person and usually a fine judge of character) and the fact that even post-Delphi, pretty much every single mention of Pharma comes with some mention of "He was a good doctor for most of his life" or "He was making major headways in research [before he started killing patients]" which implies that even the Autobots themselves see Pharma's villainy as a recent turn in his life compared to how for "most of his life" he "used to be" a good doctor.

And although Pharma doesn't know this, we as the readers (and even other characters like Rung) know about Aequitas technology and the fact that it actually works, so... if Pharma really was an unrepentant murderer, why couldn't he get through the forcefield too? The Aequitas forcefield doesn't require that a person be completely morally pure and free of wrongdoing or else how could Tyrest get through, just that they feel a sense of inner peace and lack feelings of guilt. Pharma has murdered and tortured people by this point, and put on quite a campy and theatrical show of how much he sees it as a fun game, so why then can he not get through?

It circles back to my headcanon at the start of this post that the "mad doctor" persona is just that-- a persona. Delphi/post-Delphi Pharma's laughing madman personality is just so far removed from every flashback we saw of him and everything we can infer based on how other people see/saw him before that, to me, the mad doctor act is (at least in large part, if not fully) a persona that Pharma puts on to put his villainy in the forefront.

To avoid an overly simplistic/ableist take, I don't think Tarn tortured Pharma into turning crazy. To me, it's more like the constant pressure of death by horrific torture, the feeling of martyrdom as Pharma kept secret that he was the only one standing between Delphi and annihilation, the physical isolation of Messatine as well as the emotional separation from Ratchet, being forced to violate his medical oaths (pretty much the only thing Pharma's entire life has been about), etc. All of that combined traumatized Pharma to the point that the only way he could avoid cracking was to just stop caring about all of it. Because at least then, even if he's still murdering patients to save Delphi from a group of sadistic freaks, Pharma doesn't have to feel guilty and sick about doing it. As opposed to the alternatives, which were probably either going off the deep end and killing himself to escape, or confessing to what he did and getting jailed for it.

In that light, Pharma becoming a mad doctor makes sense. It avoids the bad writing tropes of "oh this character who was good his entire life was actually just evil and really good at hiding it" as well as "oh he got tortured and went crazy that's why he's so random and silly and killing people, he's crazy" and instead frames Pharma's evil as something he was forced into, to the point where in order to avoid a full psychological breakdown and keep defending Delphi, he just had to stop caring about the sanctity of life or about what other people might think of him.

Then, of course, the actual Delphi episode happens, and Pharma's own lifelong best friend Ratchet basically spits in his face and sees him as nothing more than a crazy murderer who went rogue from being a good Autobot. Then Pharma gets his hands cut off and left to die on Messatine. At that point, Pharma has not only been mentally/emotionally broken into losing his feelings of compassion, he's received the message loud and clear: He is alone. Everyone hates him. Not even his own best friend likes him any more. No one even cared enough about him to check if he actually died or not. He will only ever be remembered as a doctor who went insane and killed his patients.

So in the light of 1. Having all of your redeeming qualities be squeezed out of you one by one for the sake of survival and 2. Having your reputation and all of your positive relationships be destroyed and 3. People only know/care about you as "that doctor who became evil and killed his patients" rather than the millions of years of good service that came before.

What else is there to do but internalize the fact that you'll forever be seen as a monster and a freak, and embrace it? People already see you as a murderer for that blackmail deal you did, so why not become an actual murderer and just start killing people on a whim? People already see you as an irredeemable monster who puts a stain on the Autobot name, so why beg for their forgiveness when you could just shun them back? You've already become a murderer, a traitor, and a horrible doctor, so what's a few more evil acts added to the pile? It's not like anyone will ever forgive you or love you ever again.

Why care? Why try to hold on to your principles of compassion, kindness, medical ethics, when an entire lifetime of being a good person did nothing to save you from blackmail and then abandonment? Why put yourself through the emotional agony of feeling lonely, guilty, miserable, when you could just... stop caring, and not hurt any more?

[crookedfivefingers]

3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ

link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀