#this quote. this gets it
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"She's heard me rant enough times about how transmasculine people get thrown under the bus in this kind of totalizing discourse, where any and all masculinity must be sacrificed at the alter of entry-level feminism, but I can't say anything now. Any nuanced attempt to deconstruct toxic masculinity would be condemned as mansplaining. Clary would snicker not all men before I got a fulll sentence out, without a thought to how toxic masculinity harms men and nonbinary people, too."
The (Un)Popular Vote, Jasper Sanchez
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cannot stop thinking about the french man who during dinner responded to a person asking "should we be naughty and get desert" by pulling a face and going "naughty? it is chocolate, it is not an, uh, threesome"
#more beautiful quotes from the beautiful man include#'sorry for crying talking about getting fucked in the ass makes me so...how you say....nostalgic'#and#'i am so sad you have diseases i want to exchange blood. with you“#t'adore that fucker
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Bruce: I know it’s hard, but you must remain forgiving and merciful, Jason.
Tim, who had to watch Bruce skin a man alive like a piece of salmon with a batarang for saying something rude about his then deceased son, throw him in the back of the Batmobile, and drive him to the hospital just to beat him up again:
#Tim didn’t get violent Batman. he got cop batman.#I love when Bruce is dark and violent and merciless as batman in Tim’s run truly a source of nourishment#bruce wayne#tim drake#incorrect quotes#dc#dc comics#batman
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Let it hurt, then let it heal.
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#quotes#life quotes#quoteoftheday#life#inspiring quotes#get motivated#motivatingwords#motivating myself#self care#self love
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Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer
wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?
Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)
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Bonus:
Happy birthday, Tim 🥰
#duke thought for a minute he was gonna become the protagonist of get out#u can interpret this as bruce suddenly deciding to text like this#or his children just never getting used to it even after 10+ years of knowing him#bruce: i dont understand why my children are so paranoid#clark: last night you texted me ''see you soon...'' and i wasnt sure if you were threatening me or not#social media au#batfam#batfamily#dc comics#bruce wayne#dick grayson#cassandra cain#jason todd#stephanie brown#tim drake#duke thomas#damian wayne#incorrect quotes#tweets#texts#twitter#batdad#batkids#batman#fanatical posting#crack
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Jason: I have a bone to pick with you
Bruce, just happy to talk to his estranged son: sure, what’s going on?
Jason, pulling out an entire femur: I stole this evidence from a crime scene. I need help with a case
Duke: hey B I have a bone to pick with you really quick
Bruce, on the verge of tears: please don’t.
Duke: I? just have a question?
#is it paranoia if your kids are really out to get you#studies say having 90% of your children be overly violent at some point of their lives means you should get therapy#bruce is not feeling very whelmed#batman#batfam#jason todd#bruce wayne#Duke Thomas#signal#red hood#incorrect batfamily quotes
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No single line has ever wrecked me as hard as this one from the Good Place and I think about it constantly
#the good place#i'm binge watching it again and it just takes me out so hard#i get lost in the sauce thinking about this quote#the idea that those who hurt you are capable of being better people and then seeing them change and grow just hits me right between the rib#who am i kidding it stabs me like the senators stabbed Caesar#anyway#icy does a tag ramble
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Dick: so if it’s you or the laptop-
Tim: me. 100%.
Dick: …your not even gonna pretend to think?
Tim: about what? I can always just rise from the dead but my laptop-
Dick: what?
Tim: what?
Dick: what made u think you can rise from the dead?
Tim: well Jason did it so it’s obviously not difficult
——
Jason, in his safe house reading a book: I feel a chill or disrespectful in the air.
——
Dick: alr can you at least lie abt it
Tim: ughhhh
Dick: for me *flutters eyelashes*
Tim: Fine. *says in monotone voice* If it were either me or my laptop to be destroyed I would choose … the laptop.
Dick: thank you Timmy
Damian, walking past: Richard even you know that’s an outright lie.
#after Tim hugs his laptop mumbling apologies for the next hour#this is the closest thing I’m getting to writing these days#batfam#incorrect batfam quotes#this qualifies right?#Tim drake#dick Grayson#jason todd#damian wayne#batfamily#dc#Batman#incorrect batfamily quotes#shut up san
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but you can't keep holding on like this.
#you can put a disability metaphor in any legfndary draconic entity. many people dont know this#my art#comic#ouroboros#for tag filtering:#blood#its a blurry day forgive typos#for search results:#bite down or let go#here's the deal ouroboros#for qna:#yes you can get it tattooed i would appreciate a tip through ny kofi (pinned) and i would love to see if you feel comfortable sharing#yes its an original quote i do write sometimes#no its not cringe or bad if you blorbo tag or whatever. go nuts. if i didnt want people connecting w my work I wouldn't post it#yes you can quote it in your own art and I'd love to see that too#anyways i love you. we'll both get through this regardless of how it changes us okay? i love you.
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sometimes i think about how funny it would be if bruce had a slight english accent as a result of alfred being the only adult in his life for most of his formative years. that or he just says british slang instead of english.
this either drives his children insane, or they think it’s the most hilarious thing ever.
__________________________
Bruce: Can you pass the chips?
Dick: Sure, B. *passes over the potato chips*
Bruce: No, the chips.
Dick: ???? … yeah? here?
Bruce: NO! THE CHIPS! *gesturing wildly for the french fries*
Damian: Father, are you having a stroke?
———
Batman: Alright, this mission is very important. It is imperative that everything goes to schedule. (shh-edule)
*red robin and red hood snicker*
Batman: *glare* As I was saying, it all must go to shh-edule…
RR & RH : *uproariously laughter *
Batman: *harsher glare* Is something funny?
RR: Oh nothing, B, don’t worry.
RH: Absolutely nothing wrong, “left-tenant”
RR & RH: *dying of laughter *
———
Bruce: *reaching the end of a long rant about responsibility and making sure you are keeping yourself and others safe* And what do you have to say for yourself??
Duke: … You sound like Alfred…
Bruce: *horrified look over coming him* … what
Cass: *furious nodding*
*Some time later, after B has been fished out of Gotham Harbor, which he jumped into after declaring that he “couldn’t turn into his father”*
Alfred: *reaching the end of a long rant about responsibility and making sure you are keeping yourself and others safe* And what do you have to say for yourself??
Bruce: *white as a sheet* … Sorry Alfie…
*Steph is heard furiously cackling in the background*
_______________________
anyways i just thought this was fun
#please add more#i would but my brain is out of space#you get the idea#batfam#batfamily#incorrect batfamily quotes#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#damian wayne#damian al ghul#robin#cassandra cain#cass cain#black bat#batgirl#duke thomas#signal dc#stephanie brown#spoiler dc#alfred pennyworth#agent a#dcu#headcanon#batman headcanon
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aizawa watching izuku enter the staffroom as his coworker
#he cant get away#bkdk canon#mha 430#mha chapter 430#bnha 430#bnha chapter 430#mha spoilers#bnha spoilers#bnha bkdk#mha bkdk#bkdk#bakudeku#katsuki bakugou#bakugou katsuki#midoriya izuku#izuku midoriya#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha incorrect quotes#mha#mha headcanons#bnha headcanons#bnha incorrect quotes#bnha
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Bruce: *waking up in a hospital that he drove himself to after having a heart attack and telling absolutely nobody* hey…
The entirety of the batclan looking over him with Dick in the centre, an absolute terrifying grin on his face:
Dick: hello Bruce, nice evening isn’t it? Got something to share with us?
Edit: the fic is now out on ao3! https://archiveofourown.org/works/57780508
#I’m writing a fic abt this if anyone is interested hehe#he proceeds to give him an Alfred long lecture about injuries and shit#the word “hypocrite” gets said at least 50 times#everybody is fucking ecstatic that they caught him in the act cause ever time THEY hide their injuries they’ll just bring this up#batman#dc comics#batfam#dcu#batfamily#dc robin#bruce wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#nightwing#red hood#red robin#kate kane#batwoman#batgirl#cassandra cain#tim drake#damian wayne#robin#damian al ghul#fanfiction#batman fanfiction#heart attack#incorrect batman quotes#incorrect dc quotes#batman and robin
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dont worry about it jason...
#im trying to figure out how to draw them#the brothers ever#jason todd#robin jason todd#discowing#dick grayson#if i get even one negative comment about the discowing suit youre all going in the blender#no.1 discowing supporter#batfamily#batman#dc comics#they are so brothers you cant tell me otherwise#i struggled with this help me#expect more art if i can GET MY SHIT TOGETHER#jason todd robin#my art#dc art#this might have been based on an incorrect quotes generator but SHHH
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Bruce, new to parenting: How long does your ideal hug last?
Dick: 30 to 40 minutes.
Bruce, already carrying him: That's a bit impractical-
Dick: You said ideal, not realistic
#prompts#batman#dc#dcu#dick grayson#bruce wayne#batdad#battinson#give him a robin#incorrect quotes#funny quotes#Dick clings like a koala & Jason gets carried like a ferret
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Bruce: Congratulations, Jason! You’re the first of my kids to graduate college!
Dick: Yeah, first and only one for all eternity!
Bruce: *Ignoring Dick by sheer willpower* Anyway, what are you planning to do next?
Jason: I think I’m going to continue my education in English Lit.
Bruce: *nervously* Great. You’ll get a Master’s Degree, right?
Jason: …
Bruce: …right?
Jason: Actually, I’m going for a PhD.
Bruce: This is a terrible joke. You’re over the supervillainy, right, Jay?
Jason: Look, my application to GothamU’s PhD program was accepted!
Bruce: No child! Of mine! Will get! A PhD!!!
Jason: I’m hoping to be a literature professor at GothamU, if I survive long enough.
Bruce: *screams incoherently*
Dick: I think you broke him.
#in Gotham saying I want to get a PhD#is equivalent to saying I want to enlist in the army#like we admire your sacrifice please don’t die or go crazy or be evil#either that or announcing that you’re dropping out of high school to start a rock band with the local pot dealer#incorrect batman quotes#batman#dc#dc comics#dcu#batfamily#batfam#jason todd#bruce wayne#dick grayson#incorrect quotes#incorrect dc quotes#incorrect batfamily quotes#humor
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