#i get lost in the sauce thinking about this quote

[midnight-coffee94]

No single line has ever wrecked me as hard as this one from the Good Place and I think about it constantly

[orphiclovers]

Actually I'm not done talking about yoohankim's awful digital footprint pre-scenarios. Kim Dokja gets a lot of flack for being chronically online and cringe and that's fair enough but let's just acknowledge that neither Yoo Joonghyuk or Han Sooyoung are ANY better.

For Han Sooyoung it's obvious. Despite having her own sucessful webnovel, presumably with fans who support her, she gets obsessed with her one hater who thinks she is a plagiarist, finds the "original" novel where this guy was the only commenter on every chapter, and instead of reading her own comments she spends her time reading HIS and imagining he's saying that about her writing. She does this for years. DERANGED BEHAVIOUR. Pre-scenarios Han Sooyoung has no excuse to be acting this crazy. Sent to internet jail for being weird online.

1863rd Han Sooyoung. Automatically get a pass to act unhinged bc after going through the apocalypse that's just expected and also the only person she talks to for 13 years is Kim Dokja and a creepy old man who calls her god, BUT. That being said she's a perfectly average and healthy internet user! Spends literally every waking moment writing a shitty webnovel so hard pieces of her soul chip away and infuse in it, sure, but she doesn't bother anyone, just does her own thing, posts the chapters and occasionally chats with her one commenter. The most normal one here. Somehow.

Kim Dokja. Big fan of a webnovel and can get intense about it sometimes, starts fights online defending his fave character, recommends the same novel so much he gets banned from forums, whatever. WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE IS WHAT IM SAYING. This is nothing too crazy, only about the level of an average fandom superfan. Uses his real name online which is certainly a choice but some people do that in real life too. Giving him a pass, I was also a cringey emo teen on the internet once. (and im still cringe and emo)

Yoo Joonghyuk as seen in Yoo Mia side story. Absolutely glued to his phone. He checks it while eating breakfast, while in the car being driven to work, while literally walking down the street so that Yoo Mia has to tell him to put it away and hold her hand! He is basically addicted to reading hate comments about himself. In his narration he mentions that there are only a few regulars in the forums he lurks in and that he recognizes all their usernames, accidentally revealing that he's in too deep and officially lost in the sauce. Even his manager tells him he should stop reading the comments because they clearly upset him, but he justifies it to himself by thinking quote, "If someone has a grudge against him, he just needs to be prepared to face that hatred. Then everything is under his control."  That last line especially is such a cope, and reveals that this behavior is another one of his desperate attempts to feel in control of his life, and as pathetic as that is and as much as I feel sympathy this is being weird online and I'm sending him to Internet jail.

Bonus round: Secretive Plotter. Need I say anything. Absolutely glued to his phone AGAIN, no it doesn't make it better that sometimes it's his kkomas instead of him. Canonically has a bound book of every single comment Kim Dokja ever left on WOS, printed out, which is more freak mode than even Han Sooyoung went. Straight to jail.

[capseycartwright]

just kiss me slowly

tommy does this thing, when he kisses buck. to quote myself, i underestimated your rizz, tommy kinard. the two finger chin pull has been playing on my mind since the episode aired, and this pointless bit of fluff was born. buck and tommy are running circles in my head.

ao3 link

Tommy does this thing, when he kisses Buck. Buck has kissed Tommy enough times in the past couple of weeks to know its a thing, and not just a fluke. He hasn't kissed Tommy enough that he's lost count (27 kisses - he's been counting because it still doesn't feel real, and every time he can add another kiss to the growing list of moments he lets himself linger in as he lies in bed at night, or sits in traffic on the way to work, is another reminder that this is real: that Tommy is real) but he's beginning to learn more about the way Tommy kisses, has begun to map the surface of Tommy's lips with his tongue.

He knows its a thing, is the point.

The first time Tommy had kissed him, he'd tugged Buck closer, two fingers pulling on Buck's chin as he'd pressed that chaste first kiss to Buck's lips. Buck had assumed that had been a heat of the moment sort of thing, Tommy tugging Buck closer so he could get his point across, but then it had happened again.

Tommy had come to pick Buck up, for their date. "Old fashioned," Buck had teased. Tommy had simply rolled his eyes in response, catching Buck's chin between his thumb and forefinger, pressing a brief kiss to Buck's surprised lips. "I didn't want to wait until after dinner to kiss you again," he had said, by way of explanation, and Buck had been in a haze the whole drive to the Italian place Tommy had suggested they grab dinner at. No one - no one had ever kissed him like that, pulling Buck closer with a gentle grasp, as though they didn't want to give him a chance to turn his head away.

Tommy liked to kiss Buck. Buck was learning that too. It was all so new for him, but Tommy was confident, a reassuring presence to - quite literally - lean on as he navigated his newfound bisexuality. Tommy had been thirty-one when he'd come out, he'd explained to Buck - so he understood. Understood why Buck had played their dinner off as a friendly thing, understood why Buck hadn't told Eddie yet, understood why Buck hadn't told anyone, yet, only his sister, and Hen. Understood why Buck was more at ease here, in the warmth of Tommy's apartment, than he was at a bar - for now, at least. Buck wasn't ashamed, he was just learning how to lean into this new part of himself.

Buck couldn't help but flush as he remembered the genuine look of pride on Tommy's face when he'd leaned into the other man's space that afternoon at the farmers market, listening intently as Tommy explained the benefits of using a certain kind of tomato to make pasta sauce - the way his mother had taught him to, growing up in New York. Buck had leaned against Tommy, enjoying the way colour rose in Tommy's cheeks as he'd done so.

He'd earned a reward for it too, Tommy using two gentle fingers to redirect Buck's face toward his own as they'd loaded the groceries in the trunk of Buck's jeep, pressing a brief kiss to Buck's waiting lips.

That was the thing, Tommy did - he touched Buck so gently, always redirecting Buck's mouth to exactly where he wanted it to be, and it made Buck melt right down into his sneakers. He'd - he'd just never had someone kiss him so reverently, before.

"If you think any harder, you'll give yourself a headache," Tommy murmured, glancing up from the sauce he was stirring. This version of Tommy was new to Buck - the version of Tommy in his own apartment, relaxed, shoes kicked off by the door, an unfamiliar jazz album playing over the record player in the living room - because of course Tommy had an actual fucking record player. Buck liked this version of Tommy. He was realising he liked all versions of Tommy, actually.

Buck could tell him. He could tell Tommy that the way he grabbed Buck so gently by the chin so often when he was going in for a kiss made his insides turn to goo. He could tell Tommy how good it felt to have someone want him like that, want to initiate kisses. He could tell Tommy that he had spent years of his life chasing other people's lips, desperate for the affection Tommy was already so freely offering him, a mere three and a half weeks into dating.

He could tell him all that, and Tommy probably wouldn't mind - but Buck wanted to keep the thought to himself, a little while longer. This thing with Tommy was so new, and it was good, but it still felt delicate, and Buck didn't want Tommy to stop the way he kissed Buck.

"I'm admiring you hard at work," Buck tilted his head slightly. It was still strange, to hear himself flirt so openly with another man, but he was getting used to it. He had to, really, when Tommy always responded to his flirting with a delighted grin, or laugh.

Tonight, Buck got both.

"C'mere," Tommy murmured, hand gentle on Buck's face as he caught Buck's chin between his thumb and forefinger, pressing a lingering kiss (28) and then a second (29) to Buck's mouth. "Just wait until you try the sauce. Then you're really going to want to kiss you."

As if Buck didn't spend every second of every day fantasising about kissing Tommy, like he was a horny teenage boy again. "Promises, promises."

Tommy rolled his eyes. "Make yourself useful and set the table," he pretended to order, but he wasn't moving, nose brushing against Buck's. He kissed him again (30) and then kissed the corner of Buck's mouth, right where Buck's grin was splitting his face in two, his delight so overwhelming he couldn't contain it.

Buck leaned into the embrace, cheek scruffy where he pressed it against the palm of Tommy's hand. "I'm glad we're doing this," he admitted. Kissing, dinner - dating. All of the above. Tommy could decide which one Buck had meant.

Tommy's grin was liquid fucking gold. "Me too, Evan."

[hemi-demi]

I'm sure someone's already said this better, but I think the secret sauce that makes someone a good candidate to be an Avatar of a Fear is to be afraid of it first.

There's this quote from Hideo Kojima I think about a lot:

"I get scared very easily," said Kojima. "Actually, this is true of Alfred Hitchcock as well as Steven Spielberg. Because they scare easily, because I scare easily, it's actually easy for us to make something that is scary, because we understand what is scary." Link to article

Junji Ito talks about this too. That boy is scared of everything and he makes horror about everything.

I think an Avatar works the same way. It's not a full requirement, but I believe you can't be an effective Avatar of your patron unless you fully understand why it terrifies someone.

Jane Prentiss had the wasps nest. Annabelle claimed to be arachnophobic. Agnes Montague feared her own lost potential. Trevor faced his own mortality being hunted by vampires. Oliver tried to escape death. Helen and Michael were completely shaken from their experience in the Spiral. Martin was terrified of being left alone.

And Jon is scared of literally everything, making him a perfect vessel for the Fears.

I don't think all Avatars have to fear their patrons, especially those that were created rather than transformed, but it seems to be a common link.

Makes me wonder if Peter actually enjoyed the Lonely as a child as much as he claimed, considering how chatty he could be with like minded people. Or if Simon ever felt the lurch in his stomach as he stared at the ground below. If Jonah ever resented prying eyes on him and wanted to turn them around and make them feel it back.

It seems like a lot of them faced their greatest fear, and when they made it to the other side they were granted the power to turn it onto others to ensure their survival. Like someone trauma bonding to their abuser. Maybe it feels safer.

[cyberhughes]

— 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ jack hughes

chapter 5: just teasing

last chapter | next chapter

*:･✧* 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: jack hughes x fem!oc

*:･✧* 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: swearing, sexual jokes

𝓐𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻𝓼 𝓝𝓸𝓽𝓮: you guys are gonna hate me for what i’m about to do next chapter…let’s just say i’m a sucker for that miscommunication trope😁🤞

series masterlist + character intros

liked by jackhughes and 12 others

mimispam: flicked up

— view comments

↳ jackhughes: i’m gonna eat u

↳ mimispam: out?

↳ quinnhughes: GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY FEED WITH THIS

↳ lhughes_06: jack passed out btw

↳ yasminramirez: bitch are those my jeans

↳ mimispam: no comment

↳ yasminramirez: I THOUGHT I LOST THOSE WTFFFF

↳ trevorzegras: hey what does your shirt say last slide😂😂😂😕😕😕

↳ colecaufield: it says out of work pornstar do you need glasses its pretty visible

↳ quinnhughes: tbis fucking idiot

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“please! i need it so bad!” naomi dangled her feet off of her bed as she talked with jack on the phone. “your deal doesn’t even make sense!” he replied. it was currently 1:00 am and naomi was craving canes so, naturally she called jack. “you said, and i quote, ‘you drive and you pay’ so then what the fuck are you contributing?” he tried to sound serious but let out a laugh at the end of his sentence. “i’ll give you a kiss~” she dragged out the last word and without hesitation jack replied, “i’m on my way.” before hanging up abruptly.

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“—and can you throw in an extra toast please?” naomi had her hands on jacks thighs as she leaned over him to speak in the drive thru, him mumbling something about her using him for money and she rolled her eyes. “should we get the 32 ounce sauce?” she looked back wiggling her eyebrows and his eyes widened “i don’t think—“ “okay and we’ll also get the 32 ounce sauce!” she fell back into her seat, smiling contently and while jack should have been annoyed, seeing the smile on her face made it all worth it.

after getting their food, they had parked in the parking lot to eat. “so, where’s my kiss?” jack teased, tossing a fry in his mouth. “hm okay, close your eyes.” and he’s never closed his eyes faster. he sat there for a few seconds, then felt naomi place a cold hand on his cheek and his heartbeat quickened, he didn’t expect her to actually go through with it. before he could finish preparing himself, naomi had taken a piece of toast drenched with sauce and shoved it in his face. “naomi what the fuck!” eyes wide as he stared at her in disbelief. she tried to suppress her laugh but he looked absolutely ridiculous. “oh you think this is funny?” he cocked a brow and she shook her head, still laughing. “well you still owe me a kiss so pucker up!” sauce still all over him, he grabbed naomi’s face and tried to pull her in. “GROSS GET OFF OF ME!” she burst into a fit of giggles as she tried pushing him off, but he was stronger, he placed a fat, canes sauce filled, kiss on her cheek. “you’re fucking disgusting.” she laughed, reaching for napkins as jack sat back proudly.

eventually after eating, they had driven back to naomi’s house but stayed parked in the driveway, still talking for hours about god knows what. “can i ask you something?” she proposed and he nodded, her legs currently stretched out on his lap as she leaned her back against the passenger door. “do you think we could ever actually date?” she asked nonchalantly, eyes focused on her hair as she played with her split ends. “what are you talking about?” he laughed and looked over at her. she looked up from playing with her hair, “us dating? for real though.” she waited, but took the confusion on his face as an answer and she shook her head, removing her legs from his lap “nevermind.” she grabbed her sweater from the back seat. “stop, i’m just confused, you’ve never said something like that before, like you were never serious.” he held her arm to stop her from leaving. “and i was just joking now too.” her expression shifted, a soft smile now on her face. “i was just teasing, that’d be weird. you’re just cute when you’re flustered.” she pinched his nose before getting out of the car. jack’s stomach dropped at her words, would it be so weird if they were actually together? “thanks for the canes jack!” she began walking to her front door, but stopped about halfway and ran back to his car. she motioned him to roll his window down. rolling the window down, he searched for something to say but before he could, naomi kissed him gently on the cheek. “there’s your kiss.” she grinned before running into her house. jack sat back puzzled, running a hand through his hair. “what the fuck just happened?”

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“you’re a fucking idiot, jack.” quinn shrugged as his younger brother told him and luke what naomi had asked. “seriously dude, if i had a penny for every time you fumbled, i’d be filthy rich.” luke added, attention barely focused on them as he played fortnite. “what the fuck do you mean? she said she was joking?” jack groaned and quinn sighed at his brothers ignorance. “you cannot be that dense dude, she clearly wasn’t joking. she was being serious and you laughed right in her face.” jack listened to his brothers words, was she really being serious? luke turned off the game, getting up before patting his brothers back, “you my friend, have officially fucked up.”

HOT MESS EXPRESS🤠🔥

[lover-of-mine]

https://www.tumblr.com/lover-of-mine/768266275464069120/magic-homemade-merch-cant-possibly-be-a-thing-but?source=share

Do you have any merch that would help buddie out? Lol and what do you think of the theory that buck gets kidnapped to in the episode 9 promo?

Well, I was wearing my 911 shirt when breakup green still dropped and I fell asleep on in and woke up to a notification that said "NEW OLIVER QUOTE WAKE UP! GET UP 🗣🗣🗣 BUDDIE CONFIRMED" when Oliver dropped the slowburn quote, so maybe? ospkaoskaoskaoskoaksa

And about the theory, I think people are getting lost in the sauce and that the skip in the promo is probably adding a Maddie on top of a "her" for clarity and the promo for 807 included Buck screaming like crazy and it literally wasn't in the episode and that Maddie should be allowed to get a plot that's about her without trying to make it about Buck. I guess this sounds bitchy and I'm not trying to shit on anyone spec, but like, Maddie going full final girl to keep herself and her baby safe is so much more interesting to me than anything they could do adding Buck in.

[vintagelacerosette]

Weekly Tag game (Catch up)

Forgive meee I am late but I had the other one in my drafts & I hadn't be able to finish it off yet 😅

I was tagged by these sweethearts 💖💕💖

Jessica @guinguin1984 Julia @blue-disco-lights Deanna @deedala Georgia @iansw0rld

Face @burninface Jaclyn @crossmydna Evie @energievie

Bri @y0itsbri Lyle Lyle crocodile @kiinard Macy @heymacy

Mel @gardenerian Sarah @sleepyheadgallavich Julissa @heymrspatel

Harvey @mikhailoisbaby Kat @mybrainismelted Ling @lingy910y

Name: Shermyn

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? (or you): Sydney in the western part  

Ok, so this week we are going to snoop into your google search. Type in each phrase and tell us what the first suggestion is that google gives you!

What is the best way to….rule? (hehe nice maybe my Leo tendencies 🤣🦁

This is what I saw on Quora

1) Become a community organizer · 2) Learn to speak eloquently · 3) Tell people what they want to hear · 4) Sell your soul to the Devil · 5) ...

😂😂😂

Where can I…. watch Saltburn? (it's on my watch list haha) Amazon Prime

How old is…. Taylor Swift? (i didn't search this but i guess she's top result) 34

How long does it take… to get to mars? (wow a fun one) Now quoting NASA, "If jt all goes well, you'll get to the Red Planet in about seven ot eight months." ♂️🔴

How many… states in Australia? Six states 🇦🇺

Who set the record for…. the highest jump? Javier Sotomayor good job my dude 👏

When did….michael jackson die? 25 june 2009 (woah I started 1st year of high school then)

What does it feel like to… to be in love? (ummm ive never searched that but damn a pointed search 😭😭😭) Reddit says "when you wake up thinking of that person & go to bed thinking of them"

Can you…go parasailing in sydney? (So me bc i missed out when i was in the Philippines 🥲) You can't anymore booo 👎

Why do… i sweat so much? Google says could he nerves that trigger it.

Is there a way… to save karlach? I really wanna play Baldur's gate 3 what's gonna happen to her?? I love her?? 🥺

How old do you have to be… to work? (boooo i don't wanna work but i want money 😩) In NSW minimum age for full time work is 17

Where do the… kardashians live? (i don't care) Malibu

What is the best time to… to go to fiji? (aaayee holiday??) June to September

And to finish us off…. What comes up when you type in Shameless? shameless last episode date

11 April 2021 I needed it for my gallacrafts 🥹

Name: Myn

Age: 27

Astrological sign: Leo ♌️

Upon which continent do you reside: Stralia 🦘

tell us how you're feeling right now using 3-5 emojis: 🥶💸🤔🤫🤗

whats your favorite flavor of gum? Juicy fruit but the flavour never lasts long

whats the last movie you watched? Anastasia for my nieces first viewing 😆 It mostly became a sing-a-long with my big sis 🎤

what was your worst subject in high school? Maybe science?

whats the job you stayed at for the shortest period of time? Working for a weekend event at a convention centre for the active wear brand Lorna Jane. I got lost on the 1st day & didn't get paid for that 15 min 😅

whats your favorite thing to do at an amusement park? Try all the interesting foods 😋

what condiments go on top of the perfect hot dog (meat or plant-based)? BBQ sauce & caramelised onions 🌰

cincinnati chili, thoughts? Never heard of it!

do you sleep with a plushie? No my plushies are on a shelf bc I can get kicked out of my room every 2nd weekend bc my sister & her family takes it over haha. But worth it to have my baby niece over 🥰

how do you feel about thunderstorms? No strong emotions. It's cool when boom

what's the last animal you touched? My dog Roxy 🐕 ❤️

grab the nearest item with words on it that ISNT a book and tell me the final word: Tulip on this korean dry shampoo I'm trying 🌷

have you ever forgotten to do an assignment until the night before its due? Oh I was organised at knowing darw but procrastinated the hell out of the assignment until the due date. Then trying to finish the night before 😅 I found an old diary entry calling myself a dumb bitch for doing that to myself & saying to never do it again (she did) 😭

Not tagging anyone bc LATE but if you wanna play consider yourself tagged! 🩷🐇

[hekateinhell]

It's always interesting to me when I see the famous Armand/Lestat BC quote floating around because I feel like a lot of the context gets lost in the sauce (it is such an impactful passage, and I absolutely love it for several reasons).

We all know this line Armand delivers while Lestat, who according to himself doesn't bow down to God or the Devil, is on his knees, looking up at him:

“I have loved you more than any being in all the world whom I’ve ever loved. I have loved you more than Louis. I have loved you more even than Marius. And you have never given me your love.”

Which is not entirely breaking news, like at all. But it's what Armand says afterwards, as he's concluding his tirade, that holds much more weight to me:

“Yes, even now, I love you, as they all love you, your minions seeking just a smile or a nod or a quick touch of your hand. I love you like all those throughout this palace who are dreaming of drinking just a drop of your blood.”

For all intents and purposes, he's basically telling Lestat, "There is nothing special about my love for you anymore. In allowing what you have allowed to happen here, you have successfully destroyed the love I had for you that set you apart from everyone else."

Whether or not this is actually true, I don't think it's a thought Lestat's ever had to contend with, especially coming from Armand who has been shamelessly apparent with his affections for centuries. Lestat is a pursuer, he loves the chase, and he easily takes many of his closest loved ones for granted - that they will be there when he wants them.

So it really says a lot that in the same scene where Lestat has just recovered Louis, Gabrielle, and Marius (who have been presumed dead up to this point), he also shares this:

The only thought in my mind, the only image, the only idea, was of Armand, and how Armand would feel when he too could hold Marius like this and know that Marius lived, that Marius had been restored, that all of them were safe and secure, and using my strongest power I sent the word to him. I sent the news. And I sent my love to Armand with it.

tl;dr: I just think they're neat!

[its-all-papaya]

🫧 (sheets and towels lol)

I was wondering how you usually go about outlining? I’ve always been so terrible at it so if you had any advice or even just explaining the process a bit that would be lovely.

YAY ALL MY LOADS OF LAUNDRY ARE AT LEAST STARTED TYYYY

assign me a chore!!

i'm actually probably a bad person to ask about this because i'm usually kind of awful at "outlining" fics in any definite way. however.... i do kind of have a process, it's just not usually a formal outline.

my USUAL process is to kind of just dump every thought i have related to a fic in a bullet point list that gets added to and subtracted from as the fic develops. if i have pm's with a mutual that inspired a fic, i'll copy paste those into the list to start. if i have ideas for scenes, i'll add those to the list. if there are irl quotes or events that are relevant, those also go in the list. from there, i'll kind of rearrange things in the order that makes sense (either chronologically or by "type" of thing - i.e. for the hollow hereafter, i had a section of quotes with sub-bullets that were just transcripts from each segment of media, then i had a section of "vibes" that were like "lando just wants it all to end, can't imagine ever feeling right again after how dramatically everything inside of him has shifted", etc). once they're in an order that makes my brain feel good, i put them below a page break and start typing actual sentences at the top of the fic in a blank page. then as i'm typing a fic, if i have thoughts about things i want to do down the line NOT in the scene i'm currently typing, i'll add those to the list too as not to disrupt the actual "proper" text i'm building. once i use a thought off the list, it gets deleted so i can see what's left in the bank more clearly. basically everything that is ACTUAL COPY I INTEND ON PUBLISHING gets written from the top of the doc down, then every stray thought i want to preserve gets added onto the bottom of the doc until i use it. there are usually like sections and sub-bullets on that list to keep things semi-organized.

when i DO outline more formally, such as dad lando, it's honestly kind of stream of consciousness. i started with rough, one-line summaries of what i thought each chapter might be (i.e. one was "first meeting", two was "start texting" etc etc until we get to "epilogue"). then i filled in in sub-bullets what i wanted to include in each chapter. some, such as "oscar meets emma" are like SUPER SUPER vague rn. like three sentences. some, such as "lando goes golfing with max" had really clear inspo in my head and are like two pages of rambling. because i felt strongly about how i wanted it to go, i just started typing in half-coherent sentences (honestly how i answer asks here sometimes? this is a good example of the flow i'm talking about). however, half of that extremely rushed, just-trying-to-get-it-down-on-paper musing about this golf outing is probably word-for-word going to end up in the fic because i just let my brain work. and that's how it works a lot of the time for me. i start typing thinking it's just going to be the gist of plot points, and it ends up prose i really, really like because i'm letting my brain work freely.

my MAIN advice for outlining based on my own learning curve:

write down LITERALLY every thought you have related to a fic. whether it's half a sentence, a guiding vibe, a real event that inspires you in ways related to the fic... literally anything. you obviously don't have to use it all, but sometimes those stray thoughts help re-center me when i get kind of lost in the sauce of a fic. when i'm stuck, i just scroll the list and see if anything sticks out to me to use or draw from to get me out of the block.

don't FORCE yourself to outline every moment or plot point. like i said, some of my dad lando chapters are really thoroughly outlined, some are suuuper vague. i didn't force myself to try and plan out any of chapter three bc i wasn't feeling particularly strongly about how i wanted it to go, and it just worked itself out in time as i typed instead. i've outlined what i've figured out, and i'm going with the flow with the rest. the outline mainly motivates me and reminds me what i'm building towards, ultimately, instead of dictating every little thing i want to include. i'm never afraid to say "and then ????? but they end up kissing" and revisit once the vibes have built around a moment.

may seem obvious, but outlines are not final. i've pushed sooooo much shit i meant to include in chapters one and two of dad lando to chapter four bc it didn't hit right when i thought it would. my outline for thh was like six times as long as the actual fic bc i cut out so much stuff i thought i wanted to use. outlines are literally just to keep track of thoughts, imo, and like i said, to guide you. doesn't have to be fully formed to be useful.

hope that was helpful!!! a lot of this is very very similar to how i used to process my research papers in college, so i've had upwards of like eight years now to refine my process and find what works for my brain specifically. so i guess last tip is just try different things and use what works and throw out what doesn't in terms of methodology. everybody's different!

love u good luck writing feel free to ask more about any of this if you'd like 🫶

[pretensesoup]

Queer books, day 31/30

Turns out I like writing about books in this format, but I read a lot more slowly than I write.

I asked on Mastodon for everyone's favorite romance novels with an NB character in them. Partly because I'm in the process of writing my own NB character and I wanted to see how other people had dealt with sex scenes (in the anatomic sense). Partly because I just wanted to see how anyone else conceptualized nonbinaryness*. That request led me to Sword Dance by AJ Demas. It only sort of answers my questions, but that's okay because it's amazing.

In an alternative version of the Mediterranean, Damiskos is an ex-soldier (now disabled) and current quartermaster who has been sent to visit an old friend (Nione) to secure a contract for fish sauce. At her house, he meets: a bunch of tedious philosophers led by Eurydemos (who seems to preach a very anti-alien, anti-LGBTQ agenda, and yet is writing poems for...), Varazda (a sword dancer and eunuch from Zash, another country in which Damiskos was once stationed and for which he harbors a deep affection), Varazda's "owner" Aristokles, and a few others. Quickly, Damiskos surmises that all is not as it seems--first, he foils an attempt on Varazda's life, and it becomes apparent that the relationship between Varazda and Aristokles may be a lie--in fact, they are conspiring to hide something far greater than the fact that Varazda is not actually a slave. Soon, Damiskos is teaming up with Varazda to solve a murder, then to avert a war and recapture Nione's villa from the philosophers. Oh, and falling in love.

Varazda is an interesting character. He (Damiskos's POV is the only one we get, and he uses male pronouns for him, although he says he thinks of himself as both male and female) was made a eunuch after his father lost a military engagement of some kind. He was then enslaved for a while, until he was sent to the Zashian embassy in Boukos, and then he was freed. This is obviously a major source of trauma, and Damiskos is in a unique place to appreciate that because of his time in Zash. As a result, Damiskos is extremely careful in their nascent relationship to let Varazda lead. Their relationship is very sweet in part because of this deference, and they deal with consent very well.

Key quote: (Varazda has been discussing how he doesn't always achieve an erection because of being a eunuch.)

Rather boldly, Damiskos said, "Want to see if we can make it happen again?" Varazda looked up in surprise. "What--right now?" "Yes, of course right now! Immortal gods. We're sitting on your bed, talking about how beautiful you are and whether or not you like sex--it's surprising I even need to say anything." "I am literally a eunuch, First Spear." After that they were both laughing...

As you might have guessed from the summary above, this is a world in which there is violence, homophobia/transphobia, and slavery, including sexual slavery. Women have some rights to own property, but they aren't voting citizens. The implication, reading between the lines, is that in the world generally, same-sex couples aren't too uncommon, and it's just Eurydemos's students who have a problem with them. (Eurydemos and his students reminded me a bit of Socrates and Plato, but of course Plato doesn't care that much about same-sex relationships, c.f. that one story from Symposium that got turned into a song from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. But I've been privileged to hear some angry Jesse rants about Plato since doing the podcast, and it reminded me of that. Anyway, as Plato says a lot, philosophers with bad opinions were a dime a dozen back in Athens, so.) Also, warning for explicit on-page sex.

*: Is Varazda nonbinary or is he gender fluid? I don't know. At one point, he says, "I never really think of myself as a man, but most of the time I'm quite happy for other people to think of me that way." Elsewhere, he implies that he doesn't want to be neither male or female, so he tries to be both. Maybe genderfluid is a better word for him. Maybe he can't articulate exactly how he feels, because he's not speaking to Damiskos in his first language, or because there isn't a word for how he feels. Either way, I enjoyed the way the character was portrayed.

That's it. Lots of action/plot, a good amount of romance, very engaging, love the setting. 10/10, go read it.

[goron-king-darunia]

Annon-Guy: Regarding the Room Quotes from Rays, how would you feel if you got a present from each of the five DotNW characters (Emil, Marta, Richter, Alice and Decus)?

Emil: I would pat his head and call him my sweet summer child. "You don't have to get anything for me, but I appreciate the thought." Marta: I would at least feign being polite. My personal disdain for how she's written doesn't make her a bad person. "Aw, thank you."

Richter: I would immediately short circuit and die. And the shambling remains of my body would shakily reach out and shake his hand and a mouth that no longer belongs to me would eke out a very shaky "Thank you so much, son, sir, husband." And then he'd probably scowl at me like I grew a second head. And then my zombie corpse would cease function from nose-bleed related blood-loss.

More seriously, I would probably shake his hand firmly and offer to buy him a meal. And then kidnap him like a yandere. I am incapable of being normal about him. I would bite innumerable people to be in a room with him. Aqua and I share the same brain cell and it unilaterally revolves around Richter. He would Rightfully call the police on me and I would definitely go to jail about it. I would like to hope I could be normal about it because I don't really care for celebrities in real life. But Richter. Dear God. I have the exact tincture of brainrot that I really don't know what I would do. The best I could hope for I think would be to be the Decus to his Alice. What I'm saying is that I'm exactly the cringe fangirl that people make memes about. And I'm so lost in the sauce that sometimes I don't know how much of this is me exaggerating or the little devil on my shoulder grasping desperately for the controls to my life. Alice: I would be so fucking suspicious but I would open it with a 10 foot pole. And if it was anything good and non-toxic I would thank her. Decus: "Ah, so I'm more attractive than Alice. I knew it." I would bully him relentlessly and twist the gesture. I am not above the baser instincts of humanity.

But in all truth I'm so unused to getting random gifts "just because" that the real answer for all of these is probably "I would break down in happy tears and thank them profusely and then cry harder because I'm ugly-crying in front of all the blorbos from my games."

[garouwolfssegner]

Wolfskin Daughter in Fodlan

PERSONAL INFORMATION

GENDER. There’s gender???  AGE. 21 HEIGHT. 6’2” (188 cm) BIRTHDATE. October 11th CREST/HOLY BLOOD. None  CLASS. Black Eagles Professor AFFILIATION. Wolfskin Tribe/Mount Garou

INTERESTS. Collecting treasures, giving said treasures as gifts to friends and family LIKES. Her daddy, collecting things, treasure, Kinu DISLIKES. Her daddy not paying attention to her STATUS. Always on the hunt for new treasures! CLOSE ALLIES: Kinu, Keaton, Sakura

DINING HALL PREFERENCES

LIKES. Pheasant Roast with Berry Sauce, Beast Meat Teppanyaki, Pickled Rabbit Skewers, Daphnel Stew, Gronder Meat Skewers, Derdriu-Style Fried Pheasant, Grilled Herring, Fish and Bean Soup, Fruit and Herring Tart, Fisherman’s Bounty, Fish Sandwich, Two-fish Saute, Bourgeois Pike, Sauteed Jerky, Spicy Fish and Turnip Stew, Sweet and Salty Whitefish Saute, Super-Spicy Fish Dango, Sauteed Pheasant with Eggs, Garreg Mach Meat Pie, Cheesy Verona Stew, Gautier Cheese Gratin DISLIKES. Nothing, she’ll eat anything but she does certainly have her notable preferences.

DINING HALL NOTES

FAVOURITE DISH.  ✧

"I didn't think I would enjoy this, but I have to admit it's delicious."

LEAST FAVOURITE DISH.  ✧

Doesn’t have one. Will eat anything and everything so long as it's put in front of her

TEA TIME GUIDE

FAVOURITE TEA. Crescent Moon Tea CONVERSATION TOPICS. Someone you look up to, Sturdy weapons, The last battle, Food in the Dining Hall, Gifts you’d like to receive, Strange fish in the pond, Cats, 

TEA TIME QUOTES

GREETING.  ✧

(1) "(Tail wagging happily)" (2) “Did you gather all these shiny dishes yourself? Please tell me where you got them.  (3) “I like to spend my free time alone napping and looking for dust bunnies, but this is fun too.”

FAVOURITE TEA.  ✧

“(Sniff sniff) Oh! My favourite, how considerate”

FIVE STAR TEA.  ✧

“(Sniffs) This smells… fancy. Could I just have the leaves instead?”

BEING OBSERVED.  ✧

(1) "(Tail wagging, ears twitching)"  (2) “Can we skip the staring and small talk?”  (3) “Is there anything you’d like to have?”

QUIPS.  ✧

"Do you want a hairball? I could get one pretty easily."  “Didya find a dust bunny or something?”  “It’s so sunny here compared to Nohr.”  “(Barks)” “I’m bored. Just means I’m bored though, nothing special.”  “Oh! Is that a bug?”

ENDING.  ✧

"This was fun, but I think I’ll go treasure hunting now. Later."

FINAL COMMENTS.  ✧

(1) I talk about my daddy a lot because he’s totally the best. You agree, right? You have to agree, Daddy is the best person in the whole wide world!

ANSWER. Nod, Laugh.

(2) It’s not a bad thing to have a messy room. I just like collecting stuff! It’s not my fault that it gets so messy!

ANSWER. Nod. Sigh.

(3) I usually like to spend my time napping or looking for dust bunnies. But I guess stuff like this can be fun too!

ANSWER. Laugh. Chat.

(I couldn’t think of five 🙁)

MISCELLANEOUS DIALOGUE.

GIFT GUIDE

FAVOURITE GIFTS. Ancient Coin, Blue Cheese, Hunting Dagger, Owl Feather, Riding Boots, Smoked Meat, Tasty Baked Treat, Whetstone DISLIKED GIFTS. Arithmetic Textbook, Book of Crest Designs, History of Fodlan, Monarch Studies Book, Stylish Hair Clip

GIFT QUOTES

DISLIKED GIFT.  ✧

"I wouldn’t even add this to my treasure pile."

LIKED GIFT.  ✧

"Cool."

FAVOURITE GIFT.  ✧

"(Sniffs) Ohhhhh! It smells so good! Are you sure this is really for me?"

LOST ITEMS

A COLLECTION OF HAIRBALLS. It seems to simply be a collection of hacked up hairballs. You can’t imagine why someone would want such a thing. But there were some pretty weird people here at the academy, so it belonged to someone. It probably belongs to someone with a penchant for collecting strange things.

Location found: Fishing Pond

AMBER (?). A glowing amber stone with a strange paw mark in its centre.You aren’t exactly sure what it is, but it seems like it would be pretty important to its owner. It probably belongs to a non-human resident of the academy.

Location found: Dining Hall Balcony

RED CLOAK. A red cloak with a hood and admirable white lace stitching. It stinks a little though. You can’t help but to be reminded of the story of Little Red Riding Hood. It probably belongs to someone who usually always wears a cloak.

Location found: 1st Floor Dormitories.

LOST ITEM QUOTES 

OWNER.  ✧

"You found it!! Yay I’ll love you forever! I mean, not more than Daddy, but almost as much!"

NOT OWNER.  ✧

"Not mine. Could sniff out the owner though."

BATTLE QUOTES

MOCK BATTLE RETREAT.  ✧

“I give up. You play too mean.” 

FIRST KILL.  ✧

"Of course I managed it. Wolfskin like me and Daddy are great at hunting!"

MONASTERY QUOTES

CHOIR PRACTICE.  ✧

(1) "... Why do we have to sing anyway?" (2) "(Humming) Wow. That’s really bad. I’m sure my Daddy could do much better!"

COOKING.  ✧

(1) "Can't someone else cook? I'd rather be anywhere else but in the kitchen." (2) "My daddy taught me how to cook ages ago. The wolfskin all love my food..." (3) "This tastes terrible. There's no way the wolfskin will ever eat this..."

TUTORING

INSTRUCT

N/A (Is the instructor)

TASKS

STABLE DUTY. ✧

“Do you think I could pluck a few horse hairs off without anyone noticing?”

WEEDING.  ✧

"(Eating the weeds)"

SKY WATCH.  ✧

“You know, I don’t think wolfskin were ever supposed to fly.”

CERTIFICATION EXAMS FAILED.  ✧

"(pouts) But Daddy will be disappointed…"

PASSED.  ✧

"Ugh, this means a lot of work, doesn't it?"

LEVEL UP

0 TO 1 STATS UP .  ✧

“I hope Daddy's not disappointed in me…”

2 TO 3 STATS UP .  ✧

“I grew a little.”

4-5 STATS UP .  ✧

“I grew a lot. I guess training is worth it...”

6+ STATS UP .  ✧

“I'm getting...strong! Wait 'til Daddy sees!”

UPON REACHING LEVEL 99 .  ✧

“That’s it?”

BUDDING TALENT

“Time to shift focus. Or nap. Whichever.”

NEW SKILL

“Let’s go.”

RECLASSING .  ✧

“But I don’t need any of this stuff…”

BATTLE QUOTES

WHEN SELECTED

FULL/HIGH HP .  ✧

“I'll take out the garbage.”

MEDIUM HP .  ✧

“Mmm, looks yummy.”

LOW HP .  ✧

“I guess I'll help...”

ENEMY DEALS 1 OR NO DAMAGE OR MISSES .  ✧

“That was too close!”

CRITICAL ATTACK .  ✧

"*sniff*...Delicious." "This makes me hungry!" "I always play with my food." "A-hunting I will go."

GAMBIT .  ✧

“So stubborn!”

GAMBIT BOOST .  ✧

“You're lucky I'm here!”

DEFEATED ENEMY .  ✧

“Daddy, are you watching?”  “Ugh, what a nuisance.”  “About time.”

ALLY DEFEATS ENEMY .  ✧

"Nice hunting." "Ooh, something shiny!"

ALLY HEALS/RALLIES .  ✧

“Yay.”  “I didn’t really need that. But thanks...” “Thanks.”

DEFEAT QUOTE

CASUAL .  ✧

“That's all the hurting I can stand! Time to retreat.”

CLASSIC .  ✧

"Sorry, Daddy... I can't even remember... your smell...”

THE ADVICE BOX

"I MISS MY DADDY SO SO SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO MUCH. ANY TIPS FOR COPING WITH HOMESICKNESS?"

> Go home, I guess? > Your… Daddy? > Send him lots of gifts if you miss him that much. I’m sure he’ll love that. (Correct Answer)

[magerywrites]

I should probably add some justification for proposing Fate doesn't really know who Ninshubur is, so let me elaborate. First and foremost, as far as I can determine, Fate interprets Ishtar almost exclusively from the Epic with the occasional flutter in the direction of the Descent.

It's aware that some of her other myths exist, but when I say almost exclusively from the Epic I mean things like how Archer Ishtar's material entry poorly paraphrases a quote from Enki in Enki and the World Order—who notes to Ishtar that "you destroy what should not be destroyed; you create what should not be created"—to report it instead as "Inanna? Is she not the most annoying goddess in the world!? She will destroy something that certainly does not need to be destroyed, and she will also create something that does not need to be created!" and attributes it to Gilgamesh.

Nasu, I'm very happy for you, and I'm going to let you finish, but I have read several different translations of the Epic, two of which are sitting on my desk as I write this, and our boy Gilly-P does not at any point say those words in that order.

Anyway. Speaking of an occasional flutter in the direction of the Descent, yes, Ninshubur has a major role in the Descent. However, of all the deities who feature in it outside of Inanna and Ereshkigal, Fate only ever acknowledges Dumuzi, who, likely not coincidentally, is also the only one of those deities the Epic mentions in relation to Ishtar.

Stepping outside those two myths, Narita references Enheduanna in Strange Fake, which is an unexpected flex, and part of Ishtar's improved characterisation may be drawn from how Enheduanna speaks of Ishtar in the Exaltation and the Hymn. However, I'm strongly inclined to put that down instead to the fact that Narita—based on this section of his author's note at the end of of Volume 4—actually just genuinely thinks Ishtar's neat and is willing to write her far more charitably because of it. He's very plainly still drawing from the Epic, not just because of the way he writes Ishtar's personality, feats, and general description but because, well, one of the lynchpins of the entire story revolves around the entangled relationships between Gilgamesh, Enkidu, Ishtar, and Humbaba. It's fairly obvious where the man's coming from; it's simply that he's also willing to grant Ishtar genuine grandeur and dignity in the process, which cannot be said for Grand Order.

Overall, I'm forced to draw the conclusion that Fate just doesn't really care about any Ishtar content outside of the Epic, which, as a corollary, means it just doesn't really care about Ninshubur either. We will never get a meaningful Ninshubur—at best we'll get a passing reference like Enheduanna does—so she might as well not exist for its purposes. She's outside of its very specific snapshot of a limited array of characters, so we can ride as eternal, shiny, and chrome as we like out here on the borderlands.

To be clear, there's an obvious appeal to Fate's approach: when you're bouncing around so many mythological systems to put together your own spin on all of it, you kind of have to not get lost in the sauce, especially when you can't guarantee how many sources are even available in your native language. This is doubly relevant in the case of Mesopotamia, given that Gilgamesh has played a starring role since Stay Night—the Epic was always going to be Nasu's first stop for anything Ishtar, and it's not like Fate treats mythology in general as much more than a series of stories to adapt and play with in service of the stories it wants to tell. In the end, it's a largely reasonable approach even though it regularly results in unreasonable things.

I just like to dream of a world where somebody at Type Moon shared my specific hyperfixation too.

Look at her! Isn't she great? I think she's great.

(Source is Fate/Strange Fake Volume 5; artist is Morii Shizuki.)

Can I pretend that Ishtar really likes Haruri because she looks like Ninshubur?

It depends on how attached you are to Fate canon!

As you likely already know if you're asking me this question, but which I shall explain for the more general audience, in Strange Fake Ishtar has two main reasons for liking Haruri and deciding to protect her.

One of them is that, despite using magecraft, Haruri's values, opinions, and beliefs mean she's still "human", rather than a "mage", concepts Ishtar draws an important distinction between.

(There's honestly a lot to talk about in Strange Fake about Ishtar's relationship with humanity. It's not just in her big declarations about watching over them and ruling them, or how she can "find something to enjoy even in the most awkward of dances, as long as you never abandon your humanity", but also in the little things like how Enkidu notes that all the gods "except Ishtar and Ereshkigal" thought Humbaba was a "complete human being". But that's beyond the scope of this ask.)

The other, which I was alluding to in my initial response, is that Haruri's name "was kinda similar" to Siduri's name—that's the "deep reason" Ishtar has for naming Haruri her high priestess. Ishtar's instincts "couldn't possibly choose the wrong person", so that similarity was enough.

But it means that Ishtar's first association with Haruri is Siduri, not Ninshubur. If she had thought of Ninshubur first, she probably would have said something to that effect.

However, if you're willing to step beyond Fate canon, you arrive at a space far more rife with possibility.

By that, I mean it's an even bet if Fate even genuinely knows Ninshubur exists, so go wild, comrade.

Spread the Haruri-Ninshubur word!

Hell, go above and beyond and make it a little fruity: see this speculative essay by someone whose Mespotamian expertise makes me look like a flailing child.