#this one has always been real divisive in my friend groups

[arsenicflame]

ok ND folk, here's one i really want to know:

[minniequinniee]

Yeah no. That's not how it works.

I'm not normally one to call out people on Tumblr, but I just so happened to come across Alex's page and saw this on her pinned.

For those who don't know, she recently announced that she was leaving anomaly observers because she was "heartbroken" about the fact that people were being mean to Trump supporters. She herself is also a Trump supporter who voted for trump in this election. And we do not support anyone who supports Trump.

Let me explain why we can't just all be "friends" even if we voted for the opposite candidate.

People voted for kamala harris because they wanted to keep their rights, have affordable housing. And have better lives.

People voted for Donald Trump because of money, for policies which is pretty much just project 2025. Which I can assure you is not at all a good thing.

Not to mention, Donald Trump is a rapist, a felon, and a pedophile.

Trump voters voted for money and power, Kamala voters voted for morality and peace.

Trump plans on doing a mass deportation on Latinos in our country. Can you name another famous politician what also did mass deportations on a group that he doesn't like? Preferably one from 1939?

You can't just say "oh I hope we can all still get along!" After voting for someone who wants to take away everyone's rights except for straight white rich men.

This is the kind of ignorance I cannot stand. You and so many other people who have this take have absolutely no idea how the real world works.

You just voted for a felon and a rapist who has been endorsed by the kkk. And you expect everyone to be like "oh that's okay! I forgive you for voting for an unqualified man who wants to take my rights away! We can still be friends!" That's not how it works.

Learn about division and the paradox of tolerance. (Yes I stole that last part from an image that was actually about the exact same topic we're currently on right now! Here's the image:)

The point being is, the world is divided. And it always will be if we continue voting and siding with the hateful side of history.

I hate to break it to you, but there is not such thing as world peace where we all just get along no matter what.

If someone endorses a clearly awful person, then I'm not just gonna stand there and forgive them for that unless they actually someone do further research and change their perspective.

"We can disagree and still be friends" is a famous line, but I think what you and other people fail to realize is that it doesn't just mean you can disagree on anything and still be friends. There's a line that needs to be drawn when it comes to human rights and education.

So with all that being said. You need to learn that the world isn't just all friendship and kindness. Yes. It would be great if it was like that, but unfortunately it's not.

There are so many people in this world I do not trust, especially the people who voted for Trump. Yes, this includes you.

I hope you can educate yourself on this matter and learn to accept the fact that people will be angry with you and so many others because of y'alls ignorant decision, and that no, we can't be friends if you voted for someone who is clearly not a good person in the slightest.

[msmargaretmurry]

idk if you’re still doing the fanfic title ask thing but if you are, mattdrai + neutral zone

i feel like this would be a sweet, funny little story where they have their bye weeks at the same time and coincidentally wind up on vacation at the same resort. big romcommy vibes. more of a @bropunzeling style joint than my own usual style, but i would do my best 😂

obviously leon's there with connor, third-wheeling with him and lauren, since they're coming straight from the all-star game. matthew, also coming straight from the asg, is flying in to meet up with some friends — maybe brady's bye week was before the asg, but robby thomas, or some florida pals, or whoever are there. mostly i just want him to be free of familial obligations so that he can let his freak flag fly.

anyway, the all-star weekend was good for everyone involved — let's say this is set this coming year, so no one was thrilled about going to cold toronto and losing out on three extra days of real vacation, not like florida, which was basically just extra vacation, but it was fun enough. neither the pacific or the atlantic won; none of our main cast here became the main character of the weekend, but there were some fun moments. matthew and leon didn't really talk during the asw, didn't really talk during last year's asw (although, to be fair, matthew was very busy playing host last year), because the thing is, they don't really have any reason to interact now that they're not in the same division.

leon didn't think he'd miss it, but he kind of misses it. the battle of alberta isn't nearly as exciting now. matthew pissed him off a lot when they were younger, yeah, but he has always been fun to play against. the 2020 asg was the first time they ever had a real conversation and it wasn't a big thing or anything, but it was kind of a turning point in the somewhat one-sided animosity, and by the time the 2022 playoffs rolled around, they had developed this kind of almost-friendly (slightly flirty?) respect. matthew still pissed him off on the ice, yeah, but they had some laughs, too, at faceoff circles, between whistles. leon started to believe the people that said, well, if he was on your team you'd love him.

and then matthew got himself traded to florida, built himself a happy new life there, became the main character of the nhl, etc. leon's not not happy for him, but maybe, when he thinks about it in certain moods, he does prickle a little at how easily matthew left the alberta of it all behind.

meanwhile matthew figures they were all just glad to be rid of him. he's been having a great time in florida. a great enough time that it's mostly healed the sting of how his last season in calgary ended and how frustrating his career there was sometimes. there was a time in his life when he would have really, really liked for leon draisaitl to like him, but he's totally past that now.

anyway, due to a series of somewhat comedic near-misses at the airport, they don't realize they're going to the same place until they get onto the plane and they're all in first class: matthew, leon, connor, lauren. everyone's like uhhhhh ?? but matthew makes a joke, retreats to his seat behind them, puts his headphones on, doesn't make conversation except to charm the flight attendants. when they land, connor asks him where he's headed, if he wants to share their cab. matthew politely declines. he's not trying to be anti-social, he's just not trying to intrude on someone else's vacation.

but, of course, the resort isn't huge. it takes, like, a day for matthew's group to run into leon again — at the tiki bar on the beach, where leon is loitering even though lauren and connor are down by the water, because he's feeling particularly third wheel-y today. matthew had the right idea, finding a whole group to glom onto after the asg. all this to say, he's kind of relieved to see other people he kind of knows, even if it all feels a little awkward. but hey, they're on vacation. everyone can be friends here.

cue a beachy vacation montage of drinking and laughing and playing volleyball on the beach and splashing into the water — leon (and often connor and lauren — i feel like there are other wags around with matthew's group of friends) gets kind of folded into the group, and here on vacation away from all the hockey stuff, past rivalries, etc, it turns out that they just kind of click. they're both super competitive, even about dumb things like beach volleyball — but that's fun when the stakes are low, when they're on the same team. matthew's always checking in to make sure leon's having a good time if he's hanging with them while connor and lauren are off doing coupley things — he's always making sure everyone's having a good time, really, and leon starts to really get why his teammates in florida talk about him the way they do. leon is surprisingly funny and surprisingly affectionate when he doesn't want to kill you, and matthew keeps getting that old familiar feeling that he'd really like for leon to like him.

it's only like two days in when they get tipsy and hook up, which is probably a good thing, because it's so mind-bogglingly hot that if they'd held out until the end of the week and just did it once at the end, they would have both gone a little crazy not getting to do it again right away. cue all sorts of sneaking off to have all sorts of gross, sweaty vacation sex, and maybe getting a little obsessed with each other in the process.

the last night of the trip, the whole combined group of them has a big dinner on the beach and everyone just hangs out until late, long after the sun goes down. matthew and leon keep not-so-subtly making eyes at each other, trying to gauge when they're gonna sneak off to go wreck each other, but matthew is also a little in his head about this being the last day of vacation, because he's 100% sure this is gonna be a "what happened in bye week stays in bye week" situation, which is how it should be, anything else would be too complicated and make no sense, but he knows that despite knowing all that logically, it's gonna do a number on him to fly home alone after this whirlwind — whatever it is, with leon, so at some point he disappears, and after a while leon finds him sitting down by the water a little ways away, looking out at the ocean.

leon goes to sit with him. kisses his shoulder, but doesn't try to make conversation. he kind of thinks he knows what matthew's thinking, but it takes him a while to figure out what to say about it in a way that won't be too embarrassing if he's wrong. eventually he settles on, "we should do this again sometime."

matthew looks over, surprised. "you'd want to?"

leon shrugs. "i mean. it's been fun, right?"

and then they make out on the beach, and then they go back to one of their rooms and have sex, and then shower sex, and then morning sex, all of it increasingly clingy in a way they will not discuss until, like, sexcation #4 at least, but leon does kiss matthew's cheek when they part ways at the airport later, and matthew's friends tease him mercilessly about it for the rest of the day.

[sonicasura]

Here is the more in-depth look at my Kn8/Persona 5 crossover! This goes into the group dynamics, how it would affect both canon series' respective events and obviously shenanigans! Now let's get started.

Kafka and Soshiro mainly stay with Ren throughout the events of Persona 5. I mean both technically raised the kid for like 15 years via shared dreams. Plus the young man can really use more people to directly talk to that aren't always busy.

They do check in on the rest of the Phantom Thieves from time to time. Like seriously, the group really needs more caring adults to talk about their problems. (Sojiro and the Persona shouldn't shoulder all the work.)

Kafka is the only one who feels like they(him/Soshiro) are REALLY over their heads here. I mean they are going into people's cognition that happens to have insane monsters roaming around to change their heart. Especially when any wrong move could shut down the target's mind.

Yet there's no other way they can tackle the situation. Plus Kafka has a feeling it can lead to the truth about their strange connection with Ren. Something he knows that Soshiro would agree on.

You can bet the Persona 5 villains are lucky both men are stuck in a phantom like form. The real Kamoshida would already been beaten to a pulp instead of his Shadow. Luckily this cognitive state has its advantages.

The biggest one being information gathering or even scout the Metaverse since neither are tied down to a schedule like the other thieves. Something which truly came in handy for situations like with Shiho(even if Ren got heavily chastised for leaving class despite saving his classmate's life.) Kafka and Soshiro are often referred to as 'Phantom Informants' from this.

Both men do have a respective codename while in the Metaverse. Kafka being dubbed 'Oni' for his demonic visage and equally monstrous strength. Soshiro took the title 'Masamune' which fits both his swordsmanship but also the dragon mask he wears to conceal his face.

Neither can use spells so they rely on items or unique abilities to fight Shadows. By using his shifting abilities, Kafka morphs his biology to wield Fire/ Ice/Wind/Lightning/Gun type attacks. Soshiro can equip different charms to his swords to add Curse/Bless/Nuclear/Psychic/Almighty element to his attacks.

The two men share an Arcana together: the Titan. A mysterious tarot which symbolizes strength through adversity or falling to one's own hubris and incompetence. The Titan Arcana grants Ren not only protection from his current Persona's weakness(like Arsène with Ice/Bless) but even harm enemies despite their resistances(Strong Against/Null/Drain).

Kafka and Soshiro are essentially two flavors of dads when it comes to the Phantom Thieves. The former being a kindhearted yet silly figure who isn't afraid to give the young teens a hug or advice if need be. Luckily they don't seem to mind when kaiju based terminology like 'whelp' and primal behavior such as nuzzling slips out. Even if Ryuji thinks he acts more cat than a kaiju.

Soshiro is the mischievous but observant parental figure. Very quick to spot one of the thieves having trouble with something and easing their stress via a joke or prank. Phantom Thievery stacked alongside everyday life would definitely overwhelm a normal person, let alone a high school teenager.

It ain't uncommon for the thieves and their Persona to ask both men questions about their world. Not everyone has to deal with actual kaiju wreaking havoc on an almost daily basis. There definitely was a loud 'WHAT' moment when Soshiro mentions he's the Vice Captain to an entire military division.

Same thing for Kafka upon telling Hoshina's captain is his childhood friend and how he got his powers. He is secretly relieved that they understood Tiny forced himself down his throat rather than the man willingly eating a small kaiju. Although Futaba is concerned about this bleeding through the obvious connection with Ren.

Something proven right when Kafka senses a kaiju in Ren's room and finds the youth in the middle of shifting. A biological response upon being somewhere safe to heal. Unlike Kafka, the Phantom Thief leader is a quite feral while in kaiju form.

It's more than just opting to use his horns, claws, and teeth instead of his knife. Ren has a tendency to walk on all fours alongside using his enhanced senses like smell to track down potential targets as he can sniff out desires. He isn't shy of roaring, growling, and purring either. The estimated fortitude level for Ren is 9.5.

Obviously due to their corporeal form outside the Metaverse, Kafka and Soshiro often get into discussions with the Persona. The most frequent being Arsène or Zorro since they are the closest(eventually Necronomicon once Futaba joins.) An almost surreal experience if the Persona didn't have a habit of gossiping, cheating at Tycoon *looks at Carmen/Arsène/Milady/Captain Kidd*, causing mischief and questioning whether both men are in a relationship together.

Shenanigans that continue despite the duo going back to their world. Kafka and Soshiro were obviously kept under a watchful eye once they had woken up. Moreso the former as his vitals were very suspicious while under observation during his 'coma'.

This soon leads to Kafka being barred from the Entrance Exam much to Mina's hidden dismay. Not forgetting that both men have to undergo some physical therapy before being released. Luckily they have help from Ren and Morgana to assist them. The Phantom Thieves unfortunately leave their mark in the KN8 world as well.

Although with less heart stealing and more kaiju related vigilantism. Sometimes these monsters get a little too close to comfort so Ren, Morgana, nor any visiting thief have issues defending themselves with their Persona. An activity which only increases when Kafka is barred from the Defense Force and goes for the vigilante route.

I have another idea that may or may not be used. Fragments of the Metaverse had fallen into the world as it had yet to heal from P5 Royal's events. These 'Meta Shards' have a tendency to lure kaiju and people oozing negative emotions to them.

If not handled soon, a pseudo maze like Palace called a Den will manifest. These places are areas where the Metaverse has leaked through causing Shadows to not only appear but make kaiju go berserk. Dens can't be seen by those who haven't interacted with the cognitive realm.

This unfortunately leads to innocent bystanders not only walking into one but the potential of their Shadow becoming the Ruler known as a Beast. A Den will continue to cause various problems until the Treasure inside is taken and the Beast is defeated. Thus the Phantom Thieves must make their debut in the KN8 world before things really get out of hand.

Whether I implement this bit or not doesn't change the fact the Defense Force is gonna get involved. Mysterious teenagers and a strange cat creature that can summon an unknown type of kaiju would already set off alarms. The Meta Shard stuff would just ramp it up.

Soshiro and Kafka will get involved in both Strikers alongside Tactica. Whether other KN8 cast members other than No.10 joins the action is a coin flip at best. I can say that Soshiro will operate a bit differently once he gets his kaiju 'partner'.

What do you guys think though?

@foolmariofest @driokrine

[roseofblogging]

Measuring Up Short

I've battled with wanting to Be the Best (like no one ever was) for much of my life, probably all the way back to when I was a kid watching shows and playing games where the main character also had a quest of trying to be the best. Sometimes they actually were the best, and sometimes they weren't, but they were always trying. I'm pretty ambitious by nature, but not in a healthy way, I don't think. I imagine a healthier version of ambition is consistently challenging yourself without shaming yourself for not meeting lofty goals. It probably comes with more reasonable benchmarks for progress, and is more inward-focused than on outward results. And I try to embody that. I think I succeed sometimes.

But trying to progress while keeping negative self-talk at bay is so exhausting, and it's not something I can easily maintain if other things are compounding my stress and worsening my mental health. If it's something impacting only me, I try to take a break. (I think I succeed at that maybe 20% of the time I try. Actually resting without shaming yourself for it is hard.) But as I've gotten into competitive Splatoon and assumed the captain position of the team, I often feel like I have to keep going regardless, solely because of the pressures I place on myself to be there for others. (Note to self: maybe figure out a co-captain situation.)

We're nearing the end of the groups stage of LUTI (Leagues Under the Ink--a competitive Splatoon tournament in which people are sorted into divisions based on skill level and then have a match each week). I'm very tired. It feels like you need to commit a lot of your time to it in a way you don't have to for a tournament that has you play a bunch of matches for a couple hours. If you find out morning of that you are just not feeling it, you can drop out, no harm no foul. But I feel way worse about wanting to drop from LUTI, because matches are planned out in advance. We're on week 5, the last* week of the group stages. (*Last, unless you're in our situation and due to various circumstances with three teams, we've had to reschedule 3 out of 5 for the "Reschedule Week" aka Week 6.) I rapidly picked up a new weapon, our whole team is sort of figuring out how to play in the current meta, we're having to adapt, and it's been a gigantic struggle in which I know all of us have things to improve, but I'm just gonna be way harder on myself.

But why are we so often the hardest on ourselves? Why is that such a relatable struggle? I suspect some of this has to do with my ADHD and the underlying trauma of undiagnosed neurodivergence as a child with comorbid anxiety. Something about how we see other people doing things and it (seemingly) coming more natural to them, but we have to put in so much more effort to put on a good face, make friends, be social, do well in school, pretend to pay attention, etc. and when the mask slips, it feels really embarrassing. Because if they can do it, why can't I? I used to think I've been so judgmental of myself because I was pretty judgmental of others, but I think it's actually the other way around. I think I've been way harsher on myself from a young age, and then that developed into being spiteful at other people when they either do things effortlessly or don't even bother putting in the work like I have. Because if they're not working hard, then I have to ask why I care so much about being perceived as good at something.

But then there's all the other stuff I do. So many of my creative projects stall out and make me think no one would care if they came to fruition. Streaming on Twitch often feels like a slog (and makes terrible money, but at least that's like a "part-time job"). My freelance dayjob has me working on constant projects without ever feeling like I have room for a real break, or no client seems to have anything for me so I have a ton of free time yet feel guilty about that, and it pays terribly, too. I wish people were excited to engage with stuff that I've worked on, but I just never really get that vibe from others.

Anyway, this is probably the last time I do LUTI. Time to stick to occasional weekend tournaments and practices rather than working super hard to practice 3-4x a week, just for another match to be rescheduled (not that those teams are being malicious--just unfortunate timing) or for us to get our butts handed to us.

how does one properly take a break? like a real break?

thank you for reading whatever this tangent is; enjoy this gif of two adorable kittens!

[thinkatoryprocess]

hey so um. sorry if this is weird and you hate it but. as a queer female snowflake with complex (in my mind, nuanced) political views, it's really refreshing to see a fan author who does not portray all characters who are not alt-left as irredeemable and disgusting. i have reasons for believing what i believe and my issues with the left (as well as my issues with the right) are legitimate. IDK. I think my corner of the internet is so steeped in antis and stalinists and death threats that my faith in balanced conversation divorced from extremism has started to fizzle out haha. Just- thanks for writing beautiful, human stories, you know? you might disagree with me politically, but i'm still a person, and it really fucking sucks when people forget that.

This ask has been sitting in my inbox for a hot minute as I figured out if or how to answer it. I think I've got it though.

First of all, thank you <3 <3 One of the things some people don't take away from YKW just looking at the tag cloud is that it is a redemption story and that Roman's love is born from falling in love with a sincere and genuine person whose beliefs happen to be pretty terrible. The thing it's easy to forget, I think, is that there are two types of people within any kind of political belief: there are those who sincerely believe in what they say because they think it's for the betterment of just about everyone, and there are those who say what they say because they want a system that will benefit them and they want the clout around being in the group of that belief. Those people are everywhere.

Now, I balked in saying this, but I am usually pretty good at telling the difference between the two - mainly because being loudly trans and disabled and a communist will usually make the second type of person be outright mean at some level. What I tend to do when I run across people further to the right of me who seem genuine and not gleeful in any kind of hatred or bias is... I don't know. I work with them until they push back on me. It's not always a blast, but they're always startled, because they're used to people spitting in their faces, and they're also very intrigued at the prospect of a real conversation with the opposition. I'm not saying make friends with awful racists, I'm saying that if there's a genuine human factor to someone's political beliefs, there's hope to bring them to a place where they won't do something harmful or they'll have a twinge of doubt the next time something biased crosses their mind.

So what I guess I'm saying is that, be safe, but if you're okay with the risk, there is a chance for dialogue with the right kind of person. Because there are definitely people getting off on the power of their political theory of choice, but there are also people whose main interest is in helping others - some of whom believe that increasing the speed of the gears of capitalism actually betters the world as a whole, or (without bothering with the context of racial police violence) that BLM protests are causing the very division that they're protesting and just want everything to be okay. And personally I think they're wrong, but the very fact that their approach isn't "I'mma get mine" means that there is a human with feelings in there, you guys. There are a lot of reasons people are conservative, a lot of it has to do with upbringing, sometimes with pipelines, sometimes with religions. Often the structure of politics doesn't make sense without conservatism to people. I get that. I grew up tradcath and I can't view religion without a Catholic lens, so I don't even bother (ugh).

My personal political view is this: while I prefer to work with people who totally get what the hell I'm talking about, my social media is absolutely batshit sometimes because I've got the opposite of an echo chamber going and the wrong post can set off a firestorm of discussion. Sometimes it's not great, but sometimes it can be really interesting. And, best of all, sometimes I can get a selection of different groups to help me on things I'm doing on an activist front, because it's not "I'm a communist, donate to this project", it's "this project is important because of X, Y, Z, please donate" and the charitable impulse from the further right and the mutual aid impulse from the further left can kick in.

I don't know. All that colored my writing of Mencken. This might be a stupid thing to post, but it also feels like necessary context. OP, thank you again for being willing to send me something like this. It means a lot and I know that people are vicious out there. In general, even if it comes to conflict, I prefer a sincere and good faith opponent to a disingenuous one 100%. Keep that spirit.

[stevennavarro]

Overflow

"Ministering from a place of overflow."

I heard that phrase so much in church over the past years that, honestly, I was a bit annoyed by it. I think mainly because I didn't know what it meant.

If I am like a fountain, how do I get to that place where I am overflowing? Overflowing? And what if ministry is my job? Is it an option to minister from less than an overflow? Underflow? How do you turn that overflow switch on? What does it look like?

But the Lord is our Rabbi still, and he has been teaching me a lot. That the overflow is real and it is sweet. That it's not just Christianese.

But it is possible and right to tend to other’s lostness from a place of first experiencing his finding of me. Because I’ve realized if I reach out to the lost out of duty only, or even out of somebody else's intimacy with the Lord, then it is toilsome and too heavy to bear. But there is a relational, joyous place with God and others, where I am "ministered to," where I am saved again, another part of me healed. So then I imitate what has been done to me, and “ministry” becomes the natural result, it is materialized in a fresh spring bubbling up from deep within.

I believe he is moving me there again.

Just last week there was a good example of this. I was at a story telling event when I met an Italian guy named Leonardo. He asked me how long I’ve been in Amsterdam and I said eight years. He was wowed (because in Amsterdam, living years are like dog years, since not too many foreigners live here that long) and asked me why. I shared a brief version of my testimony and after doing so, he turned to face me full on. “Do you believe there is only way to God or do all paths melt into one eventually? And if there is one way in Jesus, why are there so many splits in Christianity?” he asked earnestly. His whole friend group turned around to listen attentively to my response.

I gave my best apologetic, explaining that reality testifies there is a way that leads to life and a way that leads to death. A small example: if I gave my plants oil instead of water, they would die, no matter how much I wish it to be otherwise. Likewise, there are many religions possible to nourish ourselves with, but only one will truly lead us to life. Objective and exclusive truth is not so absurd of a thought as we sometimes make it out to be. Regarding his comment on separation within the Christianity, I conceded to this. Yet I made it known that even if we were to replace faith with rationalism, there will still be divisions, for it is a product of humans seeking control. I didn't have time to then explain the difference between divisions and healthy variations because the event we were at was resuming. But he did acknowledge that human institutions always are power hungry. I closed by saying Jesus came to change all of that.

After the event, I was able to speak and prophesy over one of his friends who was listening to the earlier conversation. She was from Spain and readily received an encouragement from God.

I love how the Lord takes me to this place of evangelism from simply sharing what he’s done in my life. That is the outworking of overflow, and that is the place I want to continue learning.

[footprintsinthesxnd]

In Your Arms

So this fic has been a long time coming as @sweetxvanixlla will tell you. I promised her this fic ages ago, I’m sorry it took so long Vee. Pairings: George Luz x f!reader

The hall was packed, a sea of bodies with women in different coloured dresses, their hair pinned neatly into curls and the men, mainly in uniforms, dancing around them. There were more than just the 506 there, boys from the 82nd were there too, along with a few RAF pilots, Rangers and an Armoured Division.

“I guess dances in Swindon are pretty popular,” George remarked, his hand resting firmly on her hip as he guided Y/n through the crowds of people to where a group of their friends stood by the bar.

“LUZ! Y/L/N!” Skip called out, waving them over to him. He was standing with Malarkey, Hoobler and Penkala, all of whom were nursing their warm pints of beer.

“We were starting to think you two weren’t coming,” Malarkey spoke, taking a long swig of his beer, a small smirk dancing across his lips as he watched Y/n cheeks beat up.

“Sorry, George was waiting for me to get ready. It’s been so long since I’ve had to do anything with my hair…” Y/n began but George just placed his arm reassuringly around her shoulders.

“It’s the price of beauty, boys, and isn’t she a stunner?”

Y/n blushed further, her cheeks a dark crimson and she suddenly felt very hot.

“Hey, come on, you’re embarrassing her,” Skip protested, shoving George playfully out of the way and embracing her. “Well I for one think you look stunning,” Skip smiled and Y/n couldn’t help returning it. Skip Muck’s smile was infectious and anyone who couldn’t smile with him had clearly never experienced real joy.

“Thank you, Skip. At least I can trust one gentleman to appreciate the time I put in.”

“Hey, I never said I didn’t appreciate it,” George protested, “I appreciate it very much.”

Y/n could feel George’s hand slipping a little lower on her back and she sent him a warning glare but he just grinned back at her innocently.

“Well, we're at a dance aren't we so why are none of you dancing.”

“Oh we’re just umm…”

“Well you know…”

“It's just that…”

Y/n cut off the others' excuses by grabbing George’s hand and dragging him in the direction of the dance floor, ignoring the ‘whoops’ and congratulations from his fellow paratroopers.

The dance floor was packed and it was a tight squeeze to get any room without having elbows thrust at them but Y/n and George found some room and then found themselves pressed rather close together.

“It's nice and cozy here, isn't it?” George mused, his thumb rubbing affectionate circles against the lacy back of her dress.

“Yes, it is rather close and personal,” Y/n agreed, spinning slowly in George’s arms before they returned to hold.

“So what’s life like back home? What’s your family like?” This was a question that few people asked Y/n. Being the only female member of Easy Company was both a trial and a pleasure and often enough they were too busy asking her if she had a boyfriend to care about the rest of her family.

“Home is simple really. I live with my parents and my two sisters. We also have a dog…”

“Really! I love dogs,” George interrupted, a childlike glee on his face at the mention of your pet dog.

“Yeah, she’s a good girl. I’ve always had dogs growing up. I miss not having one now,” Y/n smiled sadly at the thought of not having a little ball of fur at the end of her bed, or having to hunt for her shoes that mysteriously disappeared, or to have a furry shoulder to bury her head into after a long day.

George could sense something was wrong and stopped swaying before his face lit up.

“How about we get out of here? There’s something I want to show you.”

“But George we only just got here. At least let’s have a few dances first,” Y/n protested, watching sadly as George’s face fell. “Let me have three dances and then we can go.” She promised, pleased when George nodded enthusiastically.

The next dance Skip came swooping in, enveloping her in his arms and grinning wildly the whole time. It was beautiful and Y/n face ached by the end of the dance from where her face had been stuck in a permanent smile.

The next dance Y/n managed to wrangle Webster onto the dance floor, despite his protests and it turned out that Webster was a very good dancer. Y/n could feel herself becoming a little lightheaded under his intense gaze and just as she felt as though she would melt in his arms, George’s hand was pulling her away.

“Sorry Web, I’m going to steal my girl back now,” George glared at Webster and Webster glared back but a small smirk appeared on his face when Y/n retorted, “I’m not his girl.”

“Come on Y/n, I have a surprise for you and you promised only three dances.”

They waved goodbye to Webster and George dragged a very confused Y/n out into the night.

“Christ, I thought you were trying to get into Webster pants,” George coughed as a hand came into contact with the back of his head.

“So what if I was,” Y/n retorted, striding ahead of George as if she was annoyed by his comment, she wasn’t but George didn’t need to know that.

The footsteps quickened behind and soon George was by her side, falling into step again.

“Well, I just assumed you had better taste but I know a girls got needs. But Webster really?”

“Webster is a perfectly fine young man. He’s handsome and kind and intelligent and he’s an excellent dancer.”

“Bla bla bla. God I’m going to be sick if I have to hear any more of this mush,” George joked and noticing the sideways glare Y/n was sending him he relented. “Okay back to my exciting surprise.” George thrust his arm through Y/n crossed ones, forcing her to hold his hand which she relented to willingly, enjoying the comforting touch of her friend as they hurried through the night.

The bus ride back to Aldbourne was quiet, George spoke occasionally but the other people who frequented the bus gave them sour looks that eve made George fall silent.

Once they arrived in Aldbourne, George’s hand found his way to Y/n and he dragged her hurriedly towards the house he was billeted at.

“The family are away for the weekend so we have the house to ourselves,” George wiggled his eyebrows suggestive and Y/n snorted.

“In your dreams, Luz.”

“You bet it is,” he laughed, throwing the door open and stepping inside, showing Y/n through to the quaint living room. That was when Y/n felt something brush against her leg and she all but flew into George’s arms. As the light flickered on, Y/n found herself relax as the big brown eyes of a little black spaniel stared back at her.

“Oh George, she’s adorable.” Y/n knelt down to pet the little dog, who soon hurried over to her, tail wagging frantically.

“This is Dolly. The family asked me to look after her while their away. I figured she’d be a good substitute.” George crouched down giving the dog a quick scratch behind her ear. “She is a doozy.”

“She is beautiful, George. Thank you for sharing her with me.” Y/n threw her arms around George’s neck, sending him to the floor with Y/n lead in top of him. Now that she was lead on top of him, Y/n couldn’t help but notice the flecks of green dotted between the brown in his eyes, or the way his lips turned up at the corners as he smirked or the way her skin burned under his touch as his hands rested on the small of her back.

“George…” A long pink tongue whipped across her face and Y/n squealed as Dolly continued her onslaught of washing the pair, her tail whipping back and forth with excitement.

“First Webster and now Dolly. I think the universe is trying to tell me something,” George muttered, pushing Y/n off his lap so he could sit up, his head resting tiredly against the armchair.

Y/n shuffled towards him, plonking herself down into his lap and watching as the pink flushed across his cheeks. “Y/n? W-what are you doing?”

“Not letting anything stop me.” Y/n pressed her lips firmly against George’s, relishing in the taste of Lucky Strikes and the beer he’d been drinking earlier, mixed with the fragrance of the expensive aftershave that he’d purchased on Easy Company’s trip to London.

The kiss was over too soon and as Y/n pulled away George stared up at her wordlessly. After a few moments, he plucked up the courage to speak, “I’ve waited a long time to do that,” he admitted, winding his fingers into a few strands of her hair absentmindedly.

“Well don’t wait so long next time,” Y/n laughed and George could help the growing smile on his face.

“Oh don’t worry. I don’t plan on it.”

Tags: @iceman-kazansky @yeahcurrahhe-e @lieutenant-speirs @sharpshootershifty @liberteuniteegalite @msmercury84 @blvestxr @dustyjumpwjngs @theflyingfin @jump-wings @kafka-ohdear @kmc1989 @mads-weasley @docroesmorphine @liptonsbabe @ronald-speirs @sweetxvanixlla @hesbuckcompton-baby @ronsparky @mutantmanifesto @malarkgirlypop @bucky32557038ww2 @panzershrike-pretz @whollyjoly @xxluckystrike

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

🐺 Being MSBY's Manager 🐺

Being Atsumu's Crush and Pregnant

Atsumu Miya with/MSBY x Female Pregnant Manager

Warnings: reader is pregnant, swearing, angst to fluff, toxic behavior from YN (drinking to cope, unsafe sex), description of birth (dramatized for funsies)

AN: This was a suggestion from kitty 😺 anon!!! Its based off my MSBY Group Chat, Team Disappointment!

🦋 please like, comment and share to support my art 🦋

Ok I'm wasting zero time getting into this one

Because it's about to be LONG

We have 9 whole months to cover people 👏🏻

At this point, just consider it a short story in bullet point format 🤣

Enter Miss YN LN, manager of the division 1 team the MSBY Black Jackels 🙌🏻

I love that for you 🥰

You are so loved and adored by all your boys and they support you so much 🥺

However there's one team member that you have an extra special relationship with

One, Atsumu Miya ❤️

I know, shocking right?

But there's always been something about Atsumu

You two just get along really well

He teases you, you throw a volleyball at him 🥰

We love a strong relationship

It wasn't long before you developed a crush on Atsumu

But you learned quickly that Atsumu didn't feel the same way about you 😕

Or at least you thought 🙃

Sakusa was the first to notice your infatuation with Atsumu

He's amazing about observing and noticed how your eyes lingered on our favorite setter

Sorry Oikawa 😶

But you are too nervous to say anything

You go a while thinking you might have a chance with Atsumu

Until you overhear him talking with Bokuto and Hinata

"YN is a real catch right? Any guy would be lucky to date her!"- Bokuto, our hype king

"Yeah I guess. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like YN but she's just not my type"- Atsumu 🤡

It's a hard pill to swallow ����

Hearing that is a total bruise to your ego

The tears start to well as you turn around to leave, seeing Sakusa standing right behind you

Great now your all embarrashed 😫

"YN are you ok?"- Sakusa, concerned

You smile "Yeah I'm good. I just- I gotta go clean up"- you quickly making your exit past Sakusa and the rest of the team

"What was that about?"- Meian, looking at Sakusa

Sakusa narrows his eyes and turns to leave

It's not his business to share and he doesn't want to say anything

However, what you don't know is that Atsumu is full of CRAP 💩

This man is in such denial that the girl who has become his best friend is also perfect for him

Fucking clown behavior istg 🙄

Atsumu is having such conflicted feelings for you and he has no idea what to do

He's never had turmoil like this before people 👏🏻

Unfortunately for him, things start heading south

You start to pull away from him at practice and he has no idea why

You still talk with him but its not the same

"Hey YN, you wanna hang out this weekend?"- Atsumu

"I'm sorry Sumu, I can't! Im going out with friends but thanks"- You, running back to practice

Atsumu is confused because you always made time for him

However what Atsumu doesn't know is that his "rejection" of you caused a downward spiral

Every weekend you've been going out, dancing with friends and drinking excessively

When you'd drink, the pain of your one-sided attraction to Atsumu went away

You were the center of many guys affections and ended up going home with several of them

Atsumu began to talk with you less and less, noticing you pulling away

Sakusa and the team watched as you two, once good friends became practical strangers

"Anyone feel weird when Atsumu and YN are on the court together?"- Inunaki

"Yeah, it's like being in the room with two divorced parents"- Thomas adds

Sakusa knows exactly what's happening and he wrestles with telling the truth or letting it go

Ultimately he sides with keeping it quiet

Please he still feels like it's nOnE oF hIs BuSiNeSs

A few weeks pass and tournament season kicks into gear

You've been forced to settle down with your wild nights because of your new rigorous schedule

Not to mention how tired you've been

Your body seems more worn down than usual and you figured you were just getting sick from all the extra practices

One morning you woke up, and your breasts were extremely sore

Like tender to the touch sore

"Geez ouch- I can't even wear my normal bra"- you say to yourself as you slowly dress

You honestly didn't pay any mind to the soreness, figuring you pulled a muscle in your chest for the previous practice

So you pop a few Tylenol and head to the gym

You enter the office as Meian and Barnes are sitting and talking

"Hey YN"- they say as a sudden wave of nausea hits you

Your eyes widen as the smell of coffee hits you and you sprint from the office to the bathroom, throwing up

Barnes and Meian take after you quickly

"Jesus YN are you ok?"- Barnes says knocking on the bathroom door

"Yeah YN, what the hell? You sick? Why are you here!?"- Meian

"YN's sick! "- Bokuto 😱

"Stay away from me YN. It's still flu season"- Sakusa

Please they are all so supportive 🤣

"I'm not sick! I don't know what came over me"- you say as you stand up, flushing the toilet and going to the sink

You wash your hands and begin to process what's been going on

Your exhausted, your breasts ache and you got sick off the smell of coffee?

How strange 🙃

Well it's a good thing there is a well placed tampon/pad machine right by the door to the bathroom to remind you of one teeny tiny thing

Your face pales as you look at the machine, mentally trying to calculate when your last cycle was

You feel sick and hot as you splash water on your face and try to figure out what to do

Good thing you have the most supportive team 😍

"YN ARE YOU FEELING BETTER YET? ATSUMU ISNT HELPING ME WITH MY SPIKING DRILLS AND I NEED YOU!"- Hinata crying through the door

"HINATA LEAVE YN ALONE!"- Meian screaming

Please you need to be alone and think about this

Probably after you buy a test 😅

You figure your best bet is to attend morning practice and run to the store on your lunch break while the guys head home to rest

"I'm coming"- you say, trying to shove all thoughts of being pregnant out of your mind

The morning drags on as lunch finally hits

The guys leave and you run to the nearest pharmacy, quickly running 🏃‍♀️ back to the bathroom of the gym

You read the instructions, as you mentally thank yourself for consuming extra water during practice

You pee on the stick and wait

Now, having taken multiple pregnancy tests in my life, I can say that 3-5 minite wait is arguably the scariest wait of someone's life 😅

It's a life changing thing YN!

You pace as you await the results, trying not to freak out

"Ok ok YN calm down! You don't even know if you're pregnant or not. This could all just be a giant fever dream. Or maybe your period is just really really late! Yeah that happens all the time"- you trying to talk yourself down from the cliff 😅

The timer on your phone goes off as you slowly approach the test...

You peer over, seeing a giant "Pregnant" on the screen

Your body gives out as you fall to the floor and sit there is shock

Ok but me when I first found out I was pregnant with my son 😆

Luckily or unluckily there seems to be a team member who hasn't yet left for home 🙃

Atsumu is walking by the girls locker room when he hears something fall

He stops, listens and knocks, slowly opening the door to make sure no one is in need to help

By this point, you're full on sobbing

He opens the door, seeing you on the floor, eyes wide and tears streaming down your face

"Yn! Omg are you ok?? What happened?"- Atsumu now running to you, falling besides you as he check you over

"Atsumu-" you say crying

Atsumu looks at your hand, seeing the test there

He picks it up, seeing the "pregnant" that brought you to your knees

"Where did you get this yn? Geez I knew you were an empath but YN this is a bit too far don't you think?"- Atsumu

Like I said 👉🏻 🤡

You 👉🏻👁💧👄💧👁 Atsumu it's mine...

It takes him a few seconds to process

Man goes through the 5 stages of grief

"No no- it- it cant"- Atsumu, in full denial

"Atsumu I'm pregnant"- you say, crying

"How YN??"- Atsumu

You 👉🏻👁💧👄💧👁 seriously...

"I know how YN but like HOW"- Atsumu

"I- I don't know! I thought I was being careful"- you, embarrassed now

"Jesus YN, is this why you've been pulling away from me?"- Atsumu says sitting next to you

Your head snaps to him

He noticed you'd been pulling away?

As much as you want to tell him, you feel like it will only add more to an already complicated situation

So you decide to keep quiet

"Yeah I- I didn't want to bother you"- you

"YN you're not a bother. Please I want to help" Atsumu says

"I don't want your pity Atsumu"- you say as you wipe your tears

"Shut up YN! It's not pity! You're my best friend and I care alot about you!"- Atsumu

You just stare at him, still crying

"Ok let's just think about this YN. Do you know what you want to do??"- Atsumu, jumping into adulting mode

"I think I should call the doctor"- you, wiping your tears

"Ok let's do it now"- Atsumu standing up

"Now- but Atsumu"- you

"No buts YN let's get going"- Atsumu says pulling out his phone and dialing

Please, assertive men 🥵

You just stand there as Atsumu talks to the receptionist

Atsumu tells the receptionist your birthday and name

"Yn they have an opening tomorrow afternoon is that good?"- Atsumu, putting his hand over the speaker

You 👉🏻👁👄👁 yeah-

Honestly shocked by Atsumu assertiveness and protectiveness

"We will take it! See you tomorrow"- Atsumu, hanging up

"Atsumu what are you doing?"- You

"If you think Im letting you do this alone YN, you're wrong"- Atsumu

Your heart swells as Atsumu smiles at you, hugging you tightly

He hasn't let the full situation sink in yet but don't worry, it will happen soon enough 🙃

You manager to get through afternoon practice and the next morning practice before you head to your appointment

Except you don't head there alone

Oh no no

Atsumu is right by your side

"Atsumu you don't have to-" you say, as Atsumu opens the door for you

"YN- enough! I told you I'm here for you"- Atsumu, grabbing your hand and pulling you into the clinic

In the clinic, Atsumu acts like a nervous father 😅

Honestly we love him for that

"Atsumu chill out, I'm the pregnant one"- You

"I know- I know but like I'm worried"- Atsumu pacing as the doctor comes in the checks you over

You get an ultrasound to check for due dates

And now, for moms educational time 🙌🏻

So sometimes, a person will have an ultrasound done to check on the fetus

And this ultrasound might be a probe ultrasound, which is done vaginally

Yes, it can be uncomfortable but it's sometimes easier to see the fetus this way and get a more accurate gestational age

I'm not doctor or nurse, this is just my own personal experience from having been pregnant 3 times

So let's just say that's what you do

Atsumu is still in the room when the doctor goes to perform this ultrasound

His face goes from 😐 to 😳 to 😱 real quick

"Whoa whoa you have to do that!"- Atsumu says interrupting the doctor, standing right by your wide open legs

"Atsumu, please"- You

"Sir I promise, your wife will be fine"- the doctor says, reassuring Atsumu

"Oh he's not-"

"I'm just worried about her that's all"- Atsumu says walking up to you, grabbing your hand and smiling

The fact that he didn't correct the doctor is both reassuring and confusing 🙁

You are already in a super emotional state and this isn't helping

"Well it's looks like you are 8 weeks YN and if you look here, you'll see what your body is working so hard for"- the doctor says, turning the screen to show you the fetus

It hits you all at once as your situation sets in

You're pregnant, actually pregnant

And you have no idea who the father is

You sit and stare at the screen as Atsumu stares with you

Except Atsumu is so amazed and in complete shock

Please he's so excited 🥰

The doctor prints you a picture as you clean up and get an updated folder of appointments and a book to read

You walk out with Atsumu, not speaking as you head towards your car

"YN, hey are you ok?"- Atsumu

"No- no im not ok"- you say quietly as the tears start to form

"Hey come here"- Atsumu says pulling you into his embrace as you sob loudly

"Atsumu, I- I'm scared to do this on my own"- you confess

"Don't you want to let guy know you're pregnant?"- Atsumu

Atsumu can't help but feel a little jealous

He never expressed his feelings to you

Heck his feelings didn't really make sense until just recently

You dodge the question and huddle closer as Atsumu holds you

"Hey yn- shhh you aren't going to be alone!"- Atsumu says rubbing your back

"What about the team? What about my job? Oh my god Atsumu"- you sobbing

Please those hormones can hit HARD

"Hey hey now! I'm here for you YN! I care about you and you're my best friend"- Atsumu

Please it pains him to say "best friend" but he basically friend zoned himself 💅🏼

"You- you really mean that?"- you 🥺

"Of course! And trust me, Meian and the team would rather go without a manager than see you go YN. I promise, we can tell them together"- Atsumu

You smile as you hug him and kiss his cheek

Please he melts from that act alone 😭

The next day, you walk into practice nervous

Atsumu is waiting for you at the door as he grabs your hand and leads you in

Immediately, when you enter the gym, all eyes land on you

"Ok what's wrong?"- Meian, sighing as he crosses his arm over his broad chest 🥵

You 👉🏻👁👄👁 seriously!!!

"It's just weird that you and Atsumu are acting so close when you've all but ignored each other for months"- Sakusa

"Yeah we are just a bit skeptical"- Inunaki

"Just spit it out already"- Barnes

"I'm Pregnant" "YN's Pregant!" - you and Atsumu say at the same time

The guys 👉🏻😐😳😲

"Atsumu you idiot! You knocked YN up!!"- Barnes yelling

"What the hell dude?? We talked about condoms!"- Meian

"I love how YN isn't getting lectured"- Sakusa 🤔

"She should know better too! Jesus christ!"- Inunaki

Please their overreaction isn't helping

You start to tear up and sniffle as your embarrassment sets in

"Hey! Knock it off you guys"- Thomas coming up to you

Atsumu hugs you as you continue to sniffle

Meian puts his fingers on the bridge of his nose and takes a deep breath

"We're sorry YN. This is just shocking"- Meian

"It's ok. But please, it's not Atsumu's fault"- You, protecting Atsumu

Bokuto and Hinata 👉🏻🤨🤨

"YN you do realize how a baby is made right?"- Bokuto

"Oh dear god"- Sakusa, walking away

"Yes Ko, remember I'm the one who taught you"- you 🙄

"She's saying I'm not the father guys"- Atsumu says calmly

Everyone stops and stares at you

Please where do they go from here 😅 this is so awkward

So leave it to us to blaze a trail

"I havent contacted the father yet. I- I'm pretty much on my own"- you explaining it gently

"YN say less, we are not here to judge"- Inunaki, his hand up stopping you 🤚🏻

"Yeah YN, we are only here to support you"- Barnes

"Have you decided what you plan to do YN?"- Meian

Atsumu stands next to you holding your hip and squeezing lightly

"I want to keep it. But I also want to stay your manager..."- You, whispering and trying not to cry again

"YN of course you can stay on!! We could never replace you"- Meian

"Really?"- you, now crying happy tears instead of sad ones

"Omg YN you are crying so much and I'm not sure whether it's happy or sad tears"- Hinata, panicking 😰

"It's happy tears Sho"- you say as you hug him tight

Atsumu is so happy and smiling bright as the team and you embrace

A month goes by things are progressing

"Good morning YN, little YN"- Meian says rubbing your belly as he walks by

First off, he asked and you said it was fine 🙂 always ask a pregnant person if you can touch them please!

Ask anyone if you can touch them... consent 👏🏻

Secondly, your bump has become a bit of a good luck charm for our boys

Inunaki swears it's the reason they are on a winning streak

Last week they beat EJP and this week they managed to win against the Adlers

Hinata and Bokuto come bounding at you as you brace for impact

But their force is stopped by a brick wall in the form of Atsumu 🧱

"What did I tell you two about jumping on YN?? She's growing a little YN!"- Atsumu 😡

Please he's so protective 😫

Sakusa walks up to you and pulls you into a side hug, whispering in your ear

"Hes got it so bad for you YN"- Sakusa, strolling away leaving you confused

Sure Atsumu has been attentive and very caring the last few weeks

He's taken to driving you places, making sure you have something to eat and taking you to appointments

He's stepped in as a friend and your biggest supporter

Too bad it's become more confusing than it was at first

Atsumu acts super protective of you and so loving

But then why did he say you weren't his type?

Maybe he's just being nice? Maybe he's caring for you as a friend would?

That must be it

You shove Omi's comments about Atsumu down as you proceed with your day

The weeks go by and soon your 20 weeks

Yay for half way through with your pregnancy 🙌🏻

You've been through alot these past few weeks and it's been entails and emotionally exhausting

You hadn't told anyone but you contacted as many of the guys you slept with as you could

None of them showed any interest in being a father, nor did they want anything to do with you 😔

It's was a big hit to your ego and your emotions

You spent the weekend crying and dodging all Atsumu's attempts to hang out

Claiming you were too sick

It honestly worried Atsumu who wanted to make sure you were OK

Mans was willing to drive to your place at 11 pm to take you to the urgent care if needed YN 👏🏻

But you just wanted to be alone and process everything

You never felt so alone and it was honestly so scary

Despite all the love and support you received from the team, it wasn't the same

You managed to hide your sadness from the team and soon it was time for your twenty week ultrasound

Atsumu asked to come with you and of course you said yes 🥰

It felt so nice to have someone with you, supporting you even if it was just as a friend

"Ok YN, would you like to know the babies sex?"- the ultrasound tech says

"Yes please"- you say, watching the screen as the tech moves the probe around your stomach

"Looks like a baby girl to me"- she exclaims as you begin to cry, tears flooding your eyes as Atsumu stands up, kissing your forehead, his tears mixing with yours

Please supportive Atsumu 😭😭😭

Guys I can't 🥺

The next day, you walk into the gym only to be bombarded by the team

"It's a girl right?"- Bokuto says as Meian pushes him back

"Knock it off Bokuto, we all know it's a boy"- Meian says smirking

"What? So you can tell what the baby is just by looking at YN?"- Barnes 🤨

"I told you it's captain intuition! I'm in tune with my team"- Meian say proudly

"Well you need to retune Shugu because the baby is a girl!"- you say as Bokuto and Hinata jump up and down, celebrating with you

Inunaki, Thomas and Barnes all laugh at Meian as he glares back

"Ok ok- fine I was wrong! But everything is good right YN?"- Meian

"Yep! She's perfect!"- you say, smiling as Atsumu puts his hand on your belly and kisses your forehead

Sakusa looks at you both questioningly

"Alright let's get changed for practice! YN do you got everything?"- Meian says

"Yes captain"- you say rolling your eyes as you take your jacket off, revealing your MSBY shirt covering your now growing bump

"Don't lift anything YN"- Barnes says

"Thomas and I will do the nets YN"- Inunaki says

"And I'll get the towels"- Bokuto chimes in

"Guys I'm fine!! You can help with the nets and carrying the water but I'm still capable!"- you throwing your hand in the air as you walk away

The guys all move the the locker rooms, a permanent smile stuck on Atsumu's face

"You look happy dude"- Hinata says

"I am! YN and I have become really close again. It's nice!"- Atsumu

"So you only plan to be her friend?"- Sakusa

Please he's held out as long as he could 😅

"What are you talking about?"- Atsumu

Hinata, Bokuto, Meian, Inunaki, Barnes and Thomas are all like 👀👀👀👀

Nosey bitches

They will purposely change slowly just because 🤚🏻

Sakusa sighs, he really doesn't want to say anything but he also knows your in a fragile state and he doesn't want you to get hurt

"Listen Sumu-"

Oh shit he's broken out the nickname 😱

"A few months ago, YN heard what you said about her not being your type-"

Atsumu's face pales, Sakusa continues

"I think it really got to her man. Listen, I knew she liked you but I didn't want to interfere. Maybe I should have but I didn't know she was going out and doing what she was doing"- Sakusa

Atsumu states at Sakusa in shock, sitting down on the bench, all the color now gone from his face

"What was she doing Kiyoomi?"- Meian interjects

Sakusa sighs and continues

"She was going out with her friends, getting drunk and going home with different guys. Listen I don't want to speculate but hasn't anyone wondered why YN has mentioned the baby's dad?"- Sakusa

"I mean I just figured he didn't want to be involved"- Thomas

"Are you saying that YN doesn't know who the father is?"- Barnes says sitting down

Sakusa nods and looks at Atsumu who is sitting quietly

"Holy shit-" Hinata says

"Sakusa, what the hell man? Why are you bringing this up now?"- Meian says

"YN is really fragile right now and I don't want her or you getting hurt. I know you care alot about her but-"

"I want to be with her Kiyoomi"- Atsumu interjects

The room quiets as Atsumu looks up to see his teammates gaping at him

"Dude are you-" Thomas says

"Atsumu, nobody expects you to take that on. I mean, not even YN would"- Barnes

Atsumu knows its alot but he can't help but recount his feelings the last few months

He remembers how sad he was when you pulled away and began ignoring him

How upset he was when you continued to shrug him off week after week

How the knot in his stomach grew when you told him you were pregnant

The jealousy he felt knowing he wasn't the baby's biological father

It killed him to see how upset you were the day he found you in the bathroom

Then to see you so happy again your ultrasound

It made him want to be apart of everything

"I think you need to talk to YN first Atsumu"- Thomas

"Yeah I mean, she's the one who will need to ultimately decide"- Inunaki

Atsumu sighed as he went about getting changed and then heading to practice

He knew he needed to talk to you and he had just the plan to do it

A few weeks went by as you and your belly continued to grow

Being almost 27 weeks was exhausting and taking an emotional toll on you

Your body was always sore, your feet hurt and all you wanted to do was sleep

You took it as easy as you could at practice

Atsumu made sure to constantly have a chair available for you as he pushed you into it more than necessary during the day

"Sumu really I'm fine"- you, being set carefully in the chair

"YN, sit!"- Atsumu says, grabbing another chair and putting your feet on it

"Sumu-"

"Here YN, Samu made you some Onigiri"- Atsumu said handing you the package as you grab it from him

You start eating as your eyes fill with tears as you chew

"YN Jesus, there's no need to cry!"- Atsumu

"It's just so good Sumu"- You 😭😭😭

Ok then 😐

That weekend, Atsumu asked over for dinner

Your agreed, enjoying your time with him

During dinner, Atsumu decided to approach the subject he's been avoiding for weeks

"YN, listen I want to talk to you"- Atsumu

"Sure Sumu, what's up?"- you a tad bit nervous

"YN, I want to be involved in the baby and your lives"- Atsumu

"Sumu you already are"- you confused 😕

"No- I mean, I want to be more than just a friend YN"- Atsumu

Your eyes widen as you sit back, your hand going to your belly

"Sumu I-"

"Listen YN, Sakusa told me what you heard and I just want to let you know, I was confused"

"Wait what? Sakusa told you"- you now standing up, mortified

"YN listen, it's ok! There's nothing wrong! I know you dont know who the babies father is and thats ok!"- Atsumu

You're absolutely mortified and feeling sick

If Atsumu knows, does the whole team know?

You feel so cheap and it's breaking you 🥺

"No everything's wrong Atsumu! God I can't believe Sakusa told you! Told you about everything! God I'm so embarrassed!"- you now stumbling around the chair, rushing towards the door

"YN please wait!"- Atsumu chasing you

"Sumu no! I don't need your pity! I got myself into this and I can do this myself. I know I'm 'not your type' or whatever but I'm not just some charity case"- You, crying

"YN Please stop!"- Atsumu, trying to get you to stay

"Leave me alone Sumu! God I can't believe I was so stupid!"- you, completely emotional and irrational

You take off out the door as Atsumu stands there, not sure if he should go after you or not

He calls Sakusa who answers right away

"Hey man-" "YN left! She fucking left! God I fucked up so bad! And now she's out on the streets alone. God what if she gets hurt or something happens to her!! Oh my god! What do I do??"

"Fuck- ok I'm going to call her, you go down and look for her. Follow her if you have to and make sure she gets home safe. I'll call Meian and see if he can go check on her"- Sakusa, our planning king

"Ok"- Atsumu says hanging up as he runs down the stairs to try and find you

Only your gone 😔

Your phone rings and rings as you sit on the train

You look to see you have missed calls from the entire team including Atsumu

You put your phone back in your pocket as you head to your apartment

Once inside you strip your clothes off, shower and put comfy sweats on

At this point, your just going through the motions, your brain on auto pilot

A pounding on your door jolts you from your trance

"YN OPEN UP NOW"- Meian shouts

You walk to the door, opening it to see Meian, Thomas and Inunaki all standing there

"Jesus woman! Could you answer your phone maybe?"- Thomas says

"I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about" you say in a monotone voice

"Well that's not what Atsumu said YN. He said you ran out of his apartment when he tried talking to you"- Meian

"Listen I don't need Atsumu or anyone's sympathy ok? I know I'm a fucking slut! I know I fucked up! I don't need anyones pity!" You now shouting as the tears fall down your cheeks

Seriously the theme of these headcannons is alot of crying 🥲

"YN"- Inunaki says as you look at him, his eyes sad

"I just want to be alone ok? Please let me be alone"- You, begging and tears falling

"Text us later ok?"- Meian says, taking the hint and turning to leave

You nod as you close and lock your door

Your tears falling steady as you turn to head to bed

The next few weeks go by in a daze

There is a odd unsettling in the air at the gym as you go about your job, steering as clear of Atsumu as you can

He watches you as you try and put the towels up

"Let me help" "I'm fine but thank you"- you say as you put the towels up and walk away

He's miserable, you're miserable, everyone's miserable

And you know what we love to do here 👀

Make everyone more miserable before we make them better 🙌🏻

So let's bring on some more pain, shall we 🙃

At 30 weeks, you wake up feeling exhausted

You haven't been able to sleep much and your body is constantly tired and sore

You make it to the gym just as you feel a sharp pain stab your back

You bend over, grabbing a chair as you curse

"Fuck" you squeak out as the pain dissipates

You wonder what's going on as the guys flood the gym and you straighten up

Atsumu looks at you as you smile lightly, turning to walk away

You come out from the office, a stack of papers in your hand as another pain shoots from your back

"Oh fuck"- you scream, as the papers go flying and your legs buckle

The teams heads snap your way as they rush to support you

"YN what's wrong?"- Atsumu

"My back- fuck it hurts Sumu"- you say, crying as the pain continues

"Shit, get her a chair Bokuto"- Meian says as Bokuto runs to grab you a seat

"Here YN"- Bokuto says as Sumu and Sakusa help you sit

The pain continues as you moan and cry through it

"We should take you to the hospital YN"- Thomas says as you nod

You're scared and it's about to get scarier

You stand up, and Barnes gasps

"Fuck YN your bleeding"- Barnes says as your face pales, looking at the seat seeing your blood soaking through

"Ambulance now!"- Meian shouts as Sakusa calls and Atsumu supports you

You start crying frantically as Atsumu holds you

"Sumu, the baby!! It's so early!"- you cry as Atsumu hugs you

"YN shhh- it's ok! Hey it's going to be ok! I'm not leaving you!"- Atsumu says reassuring you

"Atsumu, I'm so sorry- please" "shhh none of that! You have nothing to be sorry for baby!"- Atsumu says holding you close

The ambulance arrives as you are loaded in, Atsumu riding with you to the hospital

When you arrive, the doctors whisk you away to the maternity unit

Atsumu tries to follow up is stopped

"I'm sorry sir but only family from here on out"- the nurses says

"Fuck-" "He's the babies dad! Please let him come"- you shout as Atsumu looks at you, his eyes wide and tears filling the ducts

"Ok come with me sir"- the nurse says, bringing you both to a room

Hours go by as you sit and wait

The doctors were able to locate the babies heartbeat within seconds, reassuring you and Atsumu she was still ok

Atsumu sat next to you, holding your hand as he watched you

"YN, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for everything. Please I never wanted this to happen"- Atsumu says

"Don't apologize Sumu. I should have listened to you. But I didn't. I'm sorry for this whole mess"- you, saddened

"YN, I love you and our baby so much! Please don't apologize for anything. I want to be here with you the entire way. That is, if you'll have me?"- Atsumu

Please now I'm crying 😭

"Atsumu, you mean it?"- You 🥺

"YN, if I didn't think it was inappropriate, I'd propose right now"- he says, smiling at you

"Please don't yet, I've had enough excitement for one day"- you say, laughing at Atsumu smiles

The doctor walks in

"Well good news YN is that your waters haven't broken and baby seems ok. It looks like you had a small subchorionic hematoma. It wasn't noted earlier on your ultrasounds, probably because it was so small. However it could have grown and then burst, causing the bleeding. It looks like everything is fine but just to be safe, I want you on bedrest for the next few weeks. That means laying down 23 hours a day, only getting up to use the bathroom"- the doctor says

Your eyes widen and you nod your head, you look to Sumu

"Sumu, my job. I cant-" the tears are falling again

Seriously so many tears 😢

"Hey- hey, it's fine YN! I'm here to help you. Let me help ok?"- Atsumu says as you nod, placing trust in him

The doors to your room fly open as 7 giant men enter

Please they probably scared everyone on the floor 😅

"Hey hey hey YN! How are you feeling?"- Bokuto

"Much better thank you guys!"- you say smiling as you place your hand on your belly

"Is that the baby's heartbeat?"- Sakusa asks

"Yep that's our baby girl"- Atsumu adds

"And she's staying in for a while??"- Meian 😑

"Yes, unfortunately I'll have to go on bed rest so I won't be able to manage for a while. I hope that's ok?"- you, really hoping it's ok

"YN please you think we could ever replace you?? Plus Atsumu would never allow it"- Barnes

Atsumu nods as you laugh a little

Suddenly your belly moves as the baby shifts

"What in the hell was that??"- Hinata 😳

"Oh she's just moving and kicking. She really hates these straps. Do you want to feel?"- You being freaking cute

Hinata nods as he approaches and feels the baby as she kicks

"Omg thats SO COOL YN!"- Hinata

"Hey me next!"- Bokuto

Like I've said before, literal children Yn

The guys leave soon and you spend your night trying to sleep

Astumu stayed by your side the entire time

The next morning, you were discharged and Atsumu drove you home

Only it wasn't to your home 🤨

"Umm Atsumu... this is your place"- you say, questioning

"Yep! You're staying with me so I can take care of you"- Atsumu says getting out of the car and walking over to your door

You 👉🏻👁👄👁 uhh ok...

Atsumu opens your door, lifting you into his arm as he carries you to his apartment

He sets you down gently on the bed and kisses your forehead

"You know, I can walk right?"- You

"You're growing my baby YN and the doctor said 'only get up when you need to use the bathroom' so no you can't just walk"- Atsumu

You roll your eyes as you hear the doorbell ring

Atsumu leaves and returns with Osamu who has brought food

"Hello my future sister in law"- Osamu, just stating the obvious

"Hey Samu! It's so nice to see you!"- You hugging your future brother in law 🥺

"I brought you food and enough to help feed you for the week. Because I don't trust Atsumu to make sure your feeding my niece enough"- Osamu

Atsumu 👉🏻😐 🧍‍♂️ I'm right here-

"Oh I know you are, that's why I said it"- Osamu 🙃

The weeks go by as you slowly approach your due date

At your 37 week appointment you are cleared to go back to work as long as you take it easy

The next day you waddle your way into the gym

"Whoa YN, you smuggling a couple volleyballs under that shirt"- Inunaki 🤣

You 👉🏻 😐 and I'm leaving

"Jesus christ we just got her back! Don't make her leave!"- Thomas

"YN!"- Our two bubbly boys say running at you

Sakusa steps in their way to stop them from mauling you

"Do you two have any other speed besides full steam?"- Sakusa

Meanwhile, Atsumu is dragging in two chairs, one for you to sit and another to put your feet up

He's also brought a bag full of water, refreshments and snacks for you

"Jesus Atsumu, did you bring the bag for the hospital too?"- Barnes jokes

"Yeah it's in the car! Do you think I'll need it??"- Atsumu ready to run to the car

"Atsumu love, chill out! I'm fine"- You

"YN the doctor said the baby can come anytime now, I'm just preparing ok!"- Atsumu

"Sumu I'm not even dilated yet! I doubt it's going to happen that fast"- You

Famous last words YN 🙃🙃🙃

Ok now before I get to the labor part, I just want to say that every labor is different

Like VERY different and I'm exaggerating this for funsies

Because who doesn't like chaos???

So let's get to it!

39 weeks 🙌🏻 congrats YN you made it to "full term"

And honestly, you are SO done

You can't sleep, your back hurts, your constantly going to the bathroom, your feet hurt and your body is just done

Not to mention, your patience with pretty much everyone

Most days, you sit in your chair in the corner of practice brooding 🤣

Hinata and Bokuto are scared to approach you

Heck all the guys are 😅

But today is the day YN and oh boy is it going to be painful

You wake up that morning feeling off

Atsumu is out on his run while you go about showering and getting ready for practice

At your last appointment your cervix was barely dilated and the doctor said it could be another 2 weeks before they see anything happen

But today just felt strange

The baby is lower and there is alot of pressure in your pelvis

Your back hurts and you are struggling to walk

You lean over the counter trying to relieve some pressure as Atsumu walks in

Immediately our man is on alert

"Whats wrong? Yn are you ok?"- he says running up to you

"Yeah Sumu I'm ok. Just alot of pressure and my back hurts"- you say as Atsumu applies pressure to your back to help

He kisses your neck as he rocks you

"Maybe you should stay home today?"- Atsumu

"Nah I'm ok. Maybe walking will get this little one going"- you say

"Ok baby. I'm going to change and we can head to practice"- Atsumu says, kissing you as he goes to change

As he's changing, you feel a pressure build in your back, stay and then leave

I'm no expect YN but I think that was probably a contraction

Spoiler alert: it was 😏

You sit there after the pain leaves and wonder what exactly is happening

It's one of those "I think I might be in labor but I'm not sure and I don't want to get too excited" moments

You brush off the contractions and move to get ready to leave

At the gym, you are sitting in the office when another contraction hits

It's your 3rd one in a half an hour and you start to think you are actually in labor

But you don't tell Atsumu yet 👀

Because you know exactly what will happen

Alot of panic, very little disco 🤣

You vow to tell him of your contractions start coming closer together

Which happens alot sooner than you plan

"Hey YN! Can you bring the copy of the new roster out?"- Meian yells as you grab the paper

You make it to the gym floor just as a huge contraction hits

You grab onto the door frame and feel a slight pop as your leggings begin to dampen

"Shit!"- you cry as Meian and Barnes heads snap to you

Barnes notices your leggings dampen and looks from your legs to your eyes and back down

"Oh holy SHIT!"- he yells as Thomas, Inunaki and Sakusa come running out

"What??"- Thomas says

"Yn did your..."- Meian

"Yep, my waters broke"- you, still gripping onto the door frame

There's a good 1 minute of silence before sheer panic sets in

Meian and Inunaki run to you and help you to make sure your supported

Meanwhile, Atsumu, Hinata and Bokuto come in from the back after filling water bottles

Atsumu sees you being supported, looks down, sees your pants, looks back up and sees your face

That's all she wrote people

Those water bottles are done for because Atsumu is SPRINTING to you just as another contraction hits

"Shit YN!! Are you ok? Tell me what's happening?"- Atsumu

You breath through the pain as Atsumu and the guys watch on

"I think I've been having contractions all morning but just now I'm pretting sure my water broke or I peed myself"- you

"Eww YN really"- Sakusa

You glare at Sakusa who is now your enemy

"We have to get to the hospital"- Atsumu

"Sumu remember the doctors said it could be hours or even days! We have time-" you growl as a contraction hits

"You think you have time YN? Because those contractions are awfully close together"- Barnes

"How do you know about that?"- you, gritting through the pain

"Atsumu sent us all an emergency birth plan with details that we all had to read"- Barnes say shrugging

You 👉🏻👁💧👄💧👁

"Now is not the time to deal with this! We have to get YN to the hospital NOW!"- Atsumu in adulting mode

Meian and Inunaki support you as Atsumu runs around

Please he's so excited, nervous and scared he can't function

"Tsum tsum calm down!"- Bokuto

Everyone looks at him like 😲 because Bokuto being the voice of reason 🤨

That's strange, that's weird

Suddenly a huge pressure hits you as your knees buckle and you begin to fall

"YN holy shit-" Hinata says running to you

"It hurts so bad"- you, screaming

For real tho, I screamed so loud they said they were lucky the birthing floor was empty 😅

And imagine the echo of a gym at that 🤯

"What hurts YN?"- Sakusa

You're head snaps to him like bro... seriously

"MY VAGINA SAKUSA!"- you, screaming

"I know that you idiot I mean what are you feeling?"- Sakusa

"Hey don't call the mother of my child an idiot ya idiot!"- Atsumu, ready to fight

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP"- You, gritting your teeth

Any chance you had at a serene birth experience is long gone YN 😅

"Ugh I feel like I have to push"- you shout as everyone freezes

Meian and Inunaki are still supporting you

Thomas and Barnes 👉🏻 👁👄👁 here???

Bokuto and Hinata just stand there 🧍‍♂️ 🧍‍♂️

"Wait- now? You said we had time YN!"- Atsumu, panicking

"Clearly I was wrong Sumu"- you say gritting your teeth as another contraction comes

"I'm calling an ambulance now"- Sakusa says running

You feel pressure as you move your hand to lower your pants

Please everyone is about to lose their minds

"YN I don't think the gyms insurance covers this"- Meian

"Seriously are these floors even stain proof?"- Barnes

"I mean their water proof right?"- Thomas

You glare at them as they all stop talking

"You're right YN not the time"- Meian says, holding you as you move your pants down

"The ambulance is like 5 minutes away"- Sakusa says running back in

"We need towels"- Atsumu says, realizing this is not waiting

Hinata and Bokuto run 🏃‍♂️ as fast as they can and grab towels

"Ok YN, you need to breath. Remember in and out, good job baby!"- Atsumu says praising you

Please he's a rock in a tough situation

He just goes into autopilot

"Sumu, it hurts so bad" you say gritting your teeth

Atsumu checks under your shirt to see

"Oh my god ok this is really happening. Yn the babies head is right there"- he says his eyes as wide as saucers

"WHAT??"- you scream as another contraction hits

"Ok ok YN when the contraction hits, bare down on and put your weight on Meian and Inunaki"- Atsumu

"God YN, I'm so sorry some man did this to you!! I'm scheduling a vasectomy tomorrow"- Inunaki states

You scream as you feel the pressure hit a new high

"The ambulance is a minute away YN just hold on"- Sakusa screams from the doors as he waits

"Sumu I cant- I can't! I was promised drugs! You promised me drugs!"- You scream

Fun fact 👉🏻 actual quote from me

"YN, hey, I believe in you and I love you"- Sumu says as he looks up at you smiling

You nod, bearing down as you feel the pressure build and then slip from your body

"Holy shit"- Barnes shouts as the gym floods with first responders and Atsumu holds your new baby girl

"You did it YN! You did it baby! I fucking love you so much! Omg she's so perfect!"- Atsumu says crying as he holds your now screaming daughter, the ambulance crew handing him towels and checking her vitals

"Hello YN! I'm Mai, let's get you to a gurney ok??"- Mai says as you nod and Meian and Inunaki help you on the gurney, you daughter still attached by her umbilical cord

"Dad would you like to cut the cord? Then we can help YN get the placenta out"- Mai says handing Atsumu the scissors as he holds your baby close.

"Wait I'm not done yet?"- you say panicking

"It will be quick YN. After birth contractions will help"- Mai says as she helps you deliver the placenta

Atsumu hands you the baby as you look at her and start to cry

"Sumu she's perfect"- you say looking at him

"Just like you YN"- atsumu says, kissing you as you head the to hospital

✨️ Bonus ✨️

1 month later...

[michwritesstuff]

Late Nights (The Outer Banks: Rafe Cameron)

This song just gives giant Rafe Cameron enemies to lovers vibes! Also, Holy shit, this is my longest work ever! I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much I enjoyed writing it!

This takes place season 1, before Rafe kills Peterkin. Let’s just pretend he’s not a psychopath. He’s still the resident bad boy of Figure 8, but not a killer…

summary: female reader (she/her) x Rafe Cameron When Y/N finds herself abandoned by her friends at a house party thrown by no other than Kook King, Topper Thornton, she finds odd company in the form of her classmates and neighbors that she has taken very little liking to. She is surprised to learn that her disinterest in all things “kook-related” has sparked the interest of a particular kook. tw: mention of alcohol/drug consumption, slight smut (18+) word count: 4.1k

Y/N might’ve been a kook, but if it wasn’t for her consistent attendance to Figure Eight events you wouldn’t have known. She hated all the superficial bullshit and quickly found herself befriending a certain group of pogues who she would often run into while working on the Cut. Everything in her life had been so easy for her, and although she was grateful, she couldn’t help but feel guilty about the privilege she received while her friends had spent their life fighting for a chance. Being able to find an ally in Kie was all that Y/N had to look forward to as she continued to find a place for herself among the fight between class divisions in her small hometown.

Summer was coming to an end, and with a few weeks left you couldn’t help but just enjoy the moments with your friends. Sitting on the small boat as the sun slowly set, passing the blunt around while you all tried to keep a serious conversation going before blurting out laughing at some stupid shit JJ had said. You had even found an unlikely friend in the form of kook princess, Sarah Cameron. You had known Sarah Cameron for as long as you could remember, always greeting each other’s families at events and having at least one class together every year. But this was different, you had known Sarah but never gave her a chance to hang out. When John B mentioned her a few weeks ago and started to bring her around you and the other pogues were stunned to say the least. You knew that she was dating Topper Thornton, I mean everyone knew that, but what she had with John B was different, at least from what you had seen. “This was great guys, but I promised Topper I would meet him at his party. Keep up appearances, you know?” Sarah said unsurely. Everyone looked around, nodding in understandment, except John B. “I don’t like him,” JJ spoke up, standing up for John B who continued sulking in silence. “Yeah, him and Rafe are always doing some shit,” Pope also spoke up. “You guys have no idea,” Kiara replied while rolling her eyes at the thought of the kook boys she had known so well. You also nodded in response. “Yeah, well I would invite you guys, but I can’t imagine that going over well.” Once again everyone nodded in agreement, except John B. “What if Y/N goes with you,” he suggested. “Thanks for throwing me under the bus!” you exclaimed back at him. Sarah turned to you with a shy smile, “It’s not such a bad idea. I mean you would know almost everyone.” “Yeah, so does Kie, you don’t see her being volunteered to go,” you exclaimed again. “That’s because they actually like you,” Kie replied, smirking when you rolled your eyes at her statement, she was right. “C’mon Y/N it’ll be fun. You’ll have me to hang out with and if you absolutely hate it, we’ll make up an excuse and leave. Besides, it’d be nice to have someone there that I don’t need to be fake with.” You thought for a moment before slowly nodding your head, cursing under your breath as your friends cheered around you. “There’s our little kookie,” JJ stated, jumping away in defense as you attempted to punch his arm.

The bass of the music pounded in your ears as you walked up the driveway. If even possible it got louder once you finally entered the front door, you swore your eardrums were about to rupture. Finding the kitchen, you reached out for two truly’s, your disappointment in the night continuing as feeling they were just room temperature. They weren’t your first choice of alcohol to get through a night like this and seeing as though they weren’t even cold made it worse. You instantly cracked it open, downing as much as you could on the first sip. You handed the other one to Sarah, bumping your open can to her’s in an attempt to say cheers. She laughed at you, “I’m gonna go find Topper. You’ll be okay if I leave you alone for a few minutes?” You took another sip before responding, “Figured this would happen at some point, yeah I’ll be good.” Watching her leave your eyes scanned the kitchen, deciding you needed to loosen up some more you pushed off the counter, “I need something stronger,” you whispered under your breath.

Making your way through the house you scanned the room for unattended bottles you could mooch off. To your surprise you were pulled by the arm, “Omg Y/N, what are you doing here?” a girly high-pitched voice screeched. You turned around, already ready to use your preppy voice, “Hey Claire,” you responded in a mock happy voice matching hers. Claire was sweet, n just not your cup of tea. The two of you had always been civil, sharing a few classes here and there. “Mind if I?” you asked, gesturing to the bottle of Tito’s vodka in her hand. “Oh sure, just be careful. I’ve gotten fucked up with this shit more times than I could remember,” she laughed while handing you the bottle. You lift the bottle up to your lips, the taste on the rim barely making an impact on your tastebuds. But as you thew your head back and lifted the bottle you took one big swig. The alcohol ran down your throat, a warmth following the path it took as it settled in your stomach. “Ugh, Claire, that shit is just straight rubbing alcohol. How the fuck do you drink that?” you exclaimed, handing her the bottle as you wiped the back of your mouth with your hand. She laughed at your reaction, “Believe me, in a little while you won’t even care how it tastes. Just know that you’ll feel it.” You nodded your head while once again scanning your eyes across the room. A few feet away was a coffee table surrounded by teens. Claire noticed your interest and dragged you over. Looking up from the table was Rafe Cameron, Sarah’s brother, who on more than one account you had gotten into a heated argument about your choice of friends. The two of you made eye contact as he wiped the leftover residue from the line of cocaine he had just done. Classy as ever Cameron, you thought as you broke eye contact and examined all the other teens waiting their turn. Rafe greeted Claire with a smirk and half-nod before returning his attention to you. “Awww Y/L/N, get tired of hanging around those boring old pogues, and decided to have some real fun?” he mocked while gesturing to the lines set up in front of him. You scoffed at his suggestion, “Keep dreaming,” you responded. Living in your teenage years and drinking was one thing, but if your parents caught you doing drugs there was a good chance you wouldn’t have much of a life to live. Making eye contact with you he slowly lowered himself closer to the table, quickly doing another line before looking up at you again. Is this kid trying to kill himself? you thought to yourself. You reached out for Claire’s bottle, taking another swig before motioning it up to Rafe. “Always a pleasure Cameron,” you stated before handing Claire her bottle.

Leaving the room, you realized that you hadn’t seen Sarah for a while. Wandering around the house in attempt to find her you bumped into Topper. “Hey Top, seen Sarah anywhere?” you asked. “Uhm a little while ago, she said she went to go find you,” he said quizzingly. “Yeah, right. Just kidding, she went to the bathroom. I’ll go find her,” you quickly spitted out. Nearly running you got away from Topper as fast as you could before finding an empty spot on the wall. Leaning back against the wall, you pulled your phone from your pocket and found a few texts from Sarah and one from John B. “Hey Y/N, John B showed up.” “We just left, please distract Topper.” “I owe you one.” You responded back, “ughh ok, I’m on it.” Clicking on John B’s name you read his message, “sorry kookie, had to steal her. thanks!” You rolled your eyes at the dumb nickname him and the others decided for you, their attempt to always tease you about your kook lifestyle. You sent him the middle finger emoji and a yellow heart before turning your phone off and looking around for Topper. Spotting him talking to Kelce you kept your place on the wall. As long as you could see him and he couldn’t see you, there was no reason to suspect anything about Sarah. Besides, after about half an hour you could probably make a break for the exit, and no one would notice.

As you continued to scroll on your phone you were slightly startled by the presence of another human standing near you. Your eyes looked up to a boy standing in front of you. He was tall, but you couldn’t ignore how young and immature he looked. “Don’t even think about it freshman,” you said before he had the chance. He laughed while nodding his head. “Hey, I had to try. Should’ve known a girl as smart as you wouldn’t give me a chance,” he responded. You gave him a quizzical look as you quickly glanced him up and down. He wasn’t too dumb if he knew to compliment your intelligence over any physical feature. He reached his hand out to shake yours, “I’m Nathan.” You glanced at his hand for a second before reluctantly shaking it “I’m Y/N,” you replied. “I know,” he said a little too quickly making the both of you chuckle. “Mrs. Nichol said you were the captain of the mock trial team. She talked to you the other day about me joining,” he rambled on. You laughed at his apparent nervousness. “Oh yeah, well I guess it’s nice to meet you, Nathan. Not exactly the type of place to bring up extracurriculars,” you laughed while motioning to the number of teens, drugs, and alcohol around you. As you did you could feel the stare from a certain kook, no doubt watching your exchange with the boy in front of you. “Probably not, but it did get you talking to me,” he quirked back. Nodding your head in amusement at his reply you responded, “Touché.” As the volume of the music had apparently increased within the last few seconds of your exchange, Nathan leaned forward slightly so he could hear you better. “Can I get you something to drink?” He asked while leaning down. “I can take it from here,” you heard Rafe speak from behind you as he slid his hand around to the small of your back. Confused by the situation unraveling in front of you, you were quick to speak. “Uhm, actually Cameron, Nathan and I were having a lovely conversation about something you couldn’t possibly be interested in,” you stated attempting to distance yourself away from Rafe and closer to Nathan. “Yeah, I—” Nathan attempted to speak before being interrupted, “Seriously, Miller, beat it or practice on Monday will be hell.” You confusingly looked at Nathan and Rafe before finally understanding. Just like you would be Nathan’s captain, so was Rafe. “Water polo?” you questioned. “Yeah, you’ll catch a game?” he asked in return. “Yeah!” you said sweetly before a mocking scoff turned your attention to Rafe, to which your surprise still had his hand on the small of your back, it almost felt natural that you hadn’t noticed it was still there. Looking at him expectantly he pulled his hands away holding them up in an ‘ok I get it’ way. “Can I help you?” you asked expectantly. “Care to go for a swim?” he asked. You looked at him confused, you weren’t sure if it was your light buzz from your shots of vodka talking but he seemed just as surprised as you were as you answered, “yes!”

As he grabbed your hand, you quietly followed as he led you through the house. “I’m gonna need more alcohol before we do this,” you exclaimed as loud as you could, hoping he would hear you over the volume of the music. He turned to look at you for a moment before turning back and nodding, showing that he had in fact heard your request. Walking through the kitchen he left you at the counter while reaching into one of the cabinets, pulling down a full bottle of Tito’s. He motioned you from your spot and you continued to follow. “My parents got this as a gift for the Thornton’s but it’s not really their style.” You nodded understandingly, Topper’s parents didn’t really seem like the type to be chugging back vodka shots, they were more sophisticated. Following him through the house you were confused as you walked past the sliding glass door that led to the pool and the dozens of other teens who had the same idea you two had, or so you thought. “Where are we going?” you asked. Rafe stayed silent as you continued following him. Opening another set of glass doors, he let you exit first before quickly following. On the side of the house was a hot tub that apparently no one knew about, seeing as though you and Rafe were the only ones out here. “What the hell is this, Cameron?” you asked. He looked at you, confusion evident on his face. “You said we were going swimming. We can’t do that in a hot tub.” He laughed before handing you the now open bottle of Tito’s, watching you take a sip he replied, “What, did you plan on working on your breaststroke or something?” He said jokingly. “No, I actually planned on playing mermaids. Maybe it’s you who needs to work on breaststroke,” you responded wittily. He feigned shock and hurt, taking the bottle from your hand. “My breaststroke is amazing, just ask your friend Claire,” he winked as you scoffed in amusement and disgust. After taking another sip he handed the bottle back to you, removing his clothes he stripped down until he was in his boxers. That left little to the imagination as you could see the outline of his dick printed. Feeling your eyes, he gave you a smirk to which you sheepishly took another sip of vodka, shaking as you felt the liquid burn down your throat. Entering the hot tub, he sat with arms spread out to both his sides, resting on the edge. “Aren’t you going to join me?” he asked. You nodded, feeling your breath catch in your throat. You handed him the bottle, starting to undress as you felt his eyes drawn to your exposed skin where you had begun to lift your shirt. “Hey! Turn around Cameron,” you exclaimed. He put his hands up in defense, turning his head so his attention was drawn to the bubbles and pressure coming from the jets. Folding your shirt and jeans on to the table nearby you turned back around to Rafe examining your exposed body adorning a basic black sports bra and lace thong. You immediately turned red, not knowing how to react under his intense stare. As you entered the hot tub you slipped when placing your foot on the bench to step in, landing you a little closer to Rafe then you planned. He held your arm as you attempted to steady yourself. “You alright?” he asked. You were able to manage out a “mhmm” as you reached for another sip from the bottle. He gladly handed you the bottle, a lazy smile on his face.

You weren’t sure how you always ended up like this but something about being drunk and outside led to you staring at the moon and stars. “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Rafe asked, breaking the silence. You tried to remain calm with his choice of words, not wanting him to know the effect he was having on you. “Just thinking,” you responded quietly. “About what,” you scanned his face for a second, genuine interest radiating off him. “As niche as it sounds, life…I mean doesn’t this all seem so pathetic,” you stated as you continued to stare off into the sky. “Life?” he asked, laughing to mask his confusion. You chuckled along with him, “No, this…pogues vs. kooks. It’s all so fucking dumb. There are so many more problems out there, so many people who need help and we can’t even come together to help people in our own community.” He just hummed as you continued to ramble on, listening to what you had to say. “I can’t help but just feel guilty. I mean what did I do to deserve this type of life. I mean my parents work hard but they’ve had so many opportunities because of their parents and their parents, and it just keeps going. This sort of generational wealth and success…” you quietly trailed off as you realized who you were talking to. “But I mean you probably don’t care,” you said while looking at him. He shook his head with a smirk. “Now I know why Sarah never shuts up about how smart you are.” You looked at him more intently, “what?” you exclaimed. He nodded his head, before turning his attention to the sky like you had before. “I mean, I guess I just never thought of it that way. Kind of blind to the privilege that I have.” “Must be all the coke,” you mumbled to yourself under your breath. He shot you a warning look before chuckling, “might be the coke,” he responded. You laughed along with him before a serious tone washed over him. “I mean it Y/N, you’re just so attuned to the needs of others,” He exclaimed. “Well, you can be like that too,” you reassured him. “Yeah right, there’s not a lot of hope left for me,” he replied sarcastically. “That’s not true. I mean sure you have your flaws, but from what I’ve seen you’re a good friend, loyal and family is important to you. Those are good qualities, and I mean of course you’re not half bad looking.” He laughed at the last part. “Well, Y/L/N, you’re extremely caring, intelligent, and hot as fuck! So, you have that going for you.” It was your turn to laugh and turn red at his comment.  You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol dulling your senses, but as you looked into Rafe’s eyes you felt yourself being drawn closer. You both leaned in, lips barely brushing each other as your breaths slowed. “Can I kiss you,” he asked. You could barely hear him over the sound of your own heart beating in your chest. “Please,” you nearly whined. Your tone making Rafe swoon as he gently pushed his lips onto yours.

As happy as you were with his gentleness, the alcohol you had consumed throughout the night had made you far hornier than you liked to admit. Leaning deeper into the kiss you gently placed your hands onto his chest before lightly pushing him back to so you could straddle his lap. As you did so, Rafe took a large sip from the bottle, as you looked at him expectantly. He gave you a smirk before bringing the bottle close to your lips, tilting your head back, you let him pour some of the alcohol down your throat. Before you could process the liquid once again burning the back your throat you pressed a heated kiss on to his lips. As your hands moved up from their place on his chest to the back of his neck, playing with the ends of his hair, his hands move from where he was setting the bottle down to trailing around your waist and landing on your ass, holding you in place. As your tongues continued to fight for dominance, he pulled away slightly. Kissing down your jaw and starting to suck on your neck you slightly grinded down on to him while continuing to play with the hairs at the nape of his neck. His hands left your waist, guiding your hips back and forth as you continued to grind on him. As he continued to work on your neck you moaned as he found your sweet spot, “Fuck Rafe,” you exclaimed. You could feel him smirk as he continued. Giving him a break, you leaned forward slightly, changing the angle to which you were grinding down on him and leaving marks over his neck and chest. “Fuck babe,” he stated. “Being so good to me,” he continued as he leaned in for another kiss. “Yes, sir,” you said, testing the waters. You could clearly tell that you were starting to drive Rafe crazy as he moaned into your mouth at your response. Roughly grabbing your hip, he speeded the pace of your grinding. As you continued to litter marks along his chest, he reached a hand up to pull your sports bra down far enough so that your boobs were spilling over the top. The pressure of the band along with the added sensation of Rafe’s mouth on your nipple was almost too much. Along with this you could feel how hard he had gotten under you. I mean, you knew he was big, but this was godly. Your makeout session was quickly abrupted as you both snapped your heads to the sound of the glass doors sliding open. Quickly removing yourself from Rafe’s lap and adjusting your bra, you sat silently, reaching for the bottle again. “What’s up Top?” Rafe asked nonchalantly. Topper looked at you both slyly, clearly knowing what he half-witnessed between the two of you. “Not much, I can’t find Sarah anywhere Y/N. And she’s not answering her fucking calls.” “Yeah, she wasn’t feeling well. Said she headed home; her phone probably died. Don’t worry Top,” you said as convincingly as the alcohol would let you. Topper seemed to accept your answer and reentered the house. Rafe looked at you unconvincingly. “She just left you?” he asks. Avoiding his gaze, you let your hands play with the water. Slowly nodding your head, you responded, “guess so…” “That doesn’t sound like Sarah,” he continued. “Well that’s what happened,” you snapped. Thinking about the conversation you would have to have with Sarah about how you failed to keep Topper distracted and the alcohol finally making its presence in your system known was too much to handle. “Ughh back to reality, I guess,” you groaned out. Rafe pulled you into his side so that his arm was around your shoulder and your head resting on his. “What are you up to now?” he asked. “Figuring how to make it home alive,” you chuckled dryly. He hummed in thought next to you. After a second, he spoke, surprising you in the process, “Stay with me.” “Rafe…” you dragged out unsurely. “Seriously Y/N, that way you don’t have to worry about going home right now.” You looked at him for a second before slowly nodding. Getting out of the hot tub he disappeared for a second before returning with a set of towels. As you both dried yourselves off and gathered your clothes you headed to Topper’s guestroom.

Stumbling around in your drunken state, Rafe grabbed the clothes from your hand. Setting them on a nearby table he turned so that you were facing each other. Reaching down slightly he grabbed your legs from under your thighs so that he was now carrying you. Feeling the warmth of his chest you pressed closer, wrapping your legs around his hips in the process. With each step you slightly bounced against him. The sexual tension from earlier quickly returning. Finally reaching the room Rafe laid down so that you were now on your back while he hovered over you. With your legs around his waist and arms around his neck you gently pulled him in, pecking a sweet kiss on your lips. “I need to shower,” you said shyly. He nodded his head, pulling away slightly so he was standing, and you stayed sprawled out on the bed. “I’ll go get us some water,” he stated as he slowly walked out the room. Leaving the door cracked enough so he wouldn’t bother anyone with the sound of it opening and closing you sat up, finally taking in your surroundings. Getting up and heading to the bathroom you folded your towel, pulling off your bra and underwear as you let the water run until it was hot enough. As you let the water run over your body you stood for a minute, just thinking about everything that had happened that night, you rub your hands down your face, muttering “fuck.” You weren’t sure what was happening, but it was a problem future you would just have to deal with later.

a/n: If you like my work please support by liking/reblogging. Also, feel free to message me about ideas. I haven’t written in a while because I don’t have a lot of time, but when inspiration hits i’ll sit down for hours :)

Masterlist

[fixyourwritinghabits]

On Publishing Trends and You: Are You Even Allowed to Write BIPOC Characters Anymore?

Okay I’ve seen this both willfully misinterpreted and unintentionally so, but ultimately it seems to be summarized as thus:

Waaaah, meanies on twitter say white people can’t write stories about people of color!!

Or something to that affect. Look, it’s really hard to have sympathy for this viewpoint because it requires taking things so out of context you’ve twisted yourself into a pretzel. Let’s look at publishing trends and how we got here, starting with:

Own Voices: The #OwnVoices hashtag started as a way for marginalized people to pitch books based on their own experiences. Thanks to the great work of DVPit, Disability in Kidlit, and We Need Diverse Books, and others (please feel free to give shout-outs in comments/reblogs). To say OwnVoices is the main drive is misleading - a lot of great work has been put into increasing diversity in publishing before and after the OwnVoices movement, it’s just one of the more visible marketing techniques for how books are promoted today.

So how did an effort to promote marginalized people writing stories from their own perspective become ‘white people aren’t allow to _____ anymore’? GOOD Question! First, let’s look at some statistics:

Boy, that sure looks bad, huh? Well, wait, I’m sure the statistics have improved immensely -

Huh. Well, that’s some improvement. A whole .1% for Indigenous folks and hey, non-human characters more than doubled what the hell.

So you’ll notice two things right off the bat - first, this conversation is mostly taking place around Children’s/Middle Grade/Young Adult books. While it’s true diversity is also lacking in Adult books, it’s very important to provide young readers with books that not only appeal and reflect their own experiences, but are not actively harmful, unintentional or otherwise.

The bulk of this movement - from what publishers are buying, what agents are looking for, and what the twitter conversations are about - are focused on kidlit, because kidlit tends to be stories focused on finding your identity and yourself. One way to focus these personal stories is to not only promote and encourage BIPOC authors writing BIPOC centered books, but to take a step back from these spaces to allow those opportunities to exist. That’s why #OwnVoices will continue to be a big factor in publishing.

Now, the next reaction tends to swing for the bleaches:

This means all my characters have to be white or twitter will hate me forever!!1!

No, it doesn’t. Publishers/Agents/Readers still want diverse stories. What it does mean is that you have to be mindful of how you’re including BIPOC in your stories. You might have seen some of this discussion (possibly out of context) about the authenticity of dotting your stories with people of color with no thought to why they exist in your story and how they experience events. Or, as a friend of mine put it, making “ambiguously brown” people in fantasy, and both these criticisms have real merit. If you’re not considering how all your characters dwell in the world you create, be it a normal high school or a dragon fighting competition, you’re doing both yourself and your readers a huge disservice. It is worth it to take the effort to make your characters believable people, and not just existing for brownie points.

(Also, twitter can be an absolute pit of vipers and while it’s important to follow publishing conversations there, you must keep in mind that not everyone is acting in good faith and it’s more important to look where there is genuine conversation rather than focus on a small group of people being particularly nasty. If it is negatively affecting your mental health, bail out.)

So, to sum up:

Is it true I can’t ever make my main character a BIPOC if I’m a white author? No one can ever ‘make’ you not do anything. All people are asking is for you to consider why you’re telling this story from this perspective, who you’re telling the story for, and if you might be unintentionally contributing to a wider problem of a lack of diversity in publishing.

Is it true I can’t write ANY BIPOC characters? No. What is true is that you should give all your characters a good level of thought and if you have worries, seek out critique partners or consider hiring a sensitivity reader* for your work (*this is entirely dependent on where you are in the publishing process. It is a waste of money and time to pay someone to do a sensitivity read on a first draft. You might not even consider this step until you have an agent or have gotten a lot of feedback suggesting it.)

What if my story has multiple POV? Again, you’re going to have to cycle back to why you’re making the choices you’re making, and who you’re writing for. There is always room for nuance and you’ll find plenty of multiple POV books written by white authors with BIPOC characters. The question boils down to the story you’re trying to tell, and why.

What if I’m writing Adult fiction? I’ve left Adult fiction out of the above conversation because it is mostly centered on kidlit, but there still is a nuance conversation to have about making space for BIPOC authors. I’ll link some perspectives below.

One last important note is that by focusing this conversation on what white people can’t do, you are once again stripping the focus of the conversation from the BIPOC perspectives on it and centering it on whiteness. You can’t change how many diverse books are published or how we give all readers the narratives they need. You can work on how you contribute to it and hopefully for the better.

READ MORE:

An Updated Look at Diversity in Children’s Books (where the above graphics were sourced from)

Why Do White Writers Keep Fictionalizing Black Experiences?

 The American Dirt Controversy: Lessons for Writers on Getting Cultures Right  (Adult fiction)

Racism vs. Representation: The Missteps of Naomi Novik’s A Deadly Education

Who Gave You the Right to Tell That Story? Ten authors on the most divisive question in fiction, and the times they wrote outside their own identities. (Adult Fiction)

Videos:

Here are some great videos from BookTuber Withcindy, someone I highly recommend following:

Should white authors write non-white characters? *A closer look at the Whiteness of Addie LaRue*

What happens when you try to be inclusive, but mess up anyway? *A closer look at A Deadly Education*

[homieswithhades]

why steve rogers returning to the past was wrong

disclaimer: im clearly a stucky enthusiast, but please, do not be thrown off by that. i admit, there may be undertones of bias because of that in the following, but i did my best with trying to lay out the facts and draw logical conclusions, so do please give me a chance. also, i may have accidentaly omitted some moments and some quotes may not be 100% word for word, as my memory lowkey sucks. ALSO this is NOT a peggy hate post!! i think shes a dope and underrated character and quite frankly she was done dirty. but i also definitely h8 the trope of badass woman falls for the hero.

first and foremost, every sane person knows endgame was complete and utter bullshit when dealing with steves character, so this post will be more for you to maybe show (and hopefully convince) some stubborn friend or family member. nice, concise (not) and including proof from the movies (+a few tweets and stucky undertones, if u dont fw that i respect it but bucky is an integral part to steves character regardless of how u interpret their relationship) here is why steves character development was thrown away at the end of endgame.

let us begin at looking at the cap trilogy.

in ca:tfa it should be noted that steve had no one to return to in the 40s, except bucky. i believe steves relationship with peggy was no where near as developed as it should have been to elicit him returning exclusively for her. as we are aware, steves driving force has absolutely always been bucky. bucky was there for steve after his parents died, when he was sick, and always protected him from whatever trouble he got himself into. "until the end of the line" right? steves relationship with peggy was forced and short lived, literally, we're talking a matter of months here. i need to keep emphasising the important disparity between bucky and peggy, as it is absolutely key in this whole argument. steve dropped everything and went against every order just to even attempt to save bucky. even the slightest chance of him surviving being captured was enough for steve to break into a hydra camp and free the 107th division. steve even had the chance to capture zola, one of the main villains and masterminds of the war, but again, steve prioritised bucky. when theyre trying to escape the exploding hydra camp, the exchange between steve and bucky is critical. steve says "go! get out of here!" as all he wanted was bucky escaping safely. he put bucky's life over his own (this wasnt the first time he did this, nor the last) but bucky rooted himself to the spot, and yelled back "no, not without you!". they both escaped safely as we know, and then steve gathers the howling commandos to take down the red skull. bucky then falls off the train, nd steve blames himself for his death, even visibly crying over it twice. steves morals went from "i dont wanna kill anyone. i dont like bullies, i dont care where theyre from" before buckys death, to "i wont stop until all of hydra are dead or captured" after. stuff happens and steve defeats the red skull and is now in control of the flying ship with the bombs. he connects the comms with peggy and she tries to convince him theres another way to disarm the ship. steve was so dedicated at that point he didnt even want to hear it. he didnt even attempt to do anything to ensure his survival. this alone proves, peggy was not important enough to him to return to.

next is ca:tws. The stevebucky movie. in the museum, peggy confirms that steve saved the man from the 107th division who eventually became her husband (steve was never in the 107th, just to clarify) i believe her husbands name was daniel sousa (as revealed in the marvels agents of shield show) steve then finds out peggy is alive and talks to her. she, in short, tells him she's lived her life, and it was his turn to live his in the time hes in. the "my best girl" line was unnecessary and out of place; again, steve barely knew her. again, shit goes down, and steve finds out the winter soldier is bucky and immediately drops everything, and becomes dead set on saving him. not killing, not imprisoning, but saving him. no matter the cost. "he saw me, and he didnt even know me" "hes not the kind you save, hes the kind you stop. he won't recognise you" "he will." god, steve KNEW bucky would recognise him. regardless of the brainwashing, steve managed to break through the barrier hydra fought so hard to drill into buckys mind. nothing ever broke him out of that state exept for steve. "im not gonna fight you, youre my friend." "youre my mission" "then finish it. cos im with you till the end of the line." [[good fucking lord let me break out of my essay-esque semi professional format here and just say how fucking heartbreaking those lines are. oh my god. read them, over and over until it hits you.]] steve shows us again, that he is willing to not only die for bucky, but literally die by his hand. he would let bucky kill him. he'd dropped his shield. he didnt fight back. steve always, always, ALWAYS got up and fought back. always. exept that time. the time bucky could have killed him. that scene is the essence of "im with you till the end of the line" because then, it was true. it was true because steve was okay with dying at buckys mercy. theres a difference between sacrificing yourself for the greater good (steve going into the ice), willing to die for someone (steve risking his life multiple times in attempts to save bucky) and finally, being willing to let someone kill you, because you love and trust them so much (hellicarier scene). the difference between peggy and bucky's relationship to steve is that steve may be willing to die for either, but only willing to be killed by one. not to mention, bucky pulled steve from the river. he recognised him. steve broke through 70 years of brainwashing with such impact it literally drove bucky away from hydra out of his own free will.

in between ca:tws and ca:cw its confirmed (im p sure sam says it) that him and steve looked for bucky for two. years. even off screen, bucky was steves priority.

im going to squeeze in 2 points from from age of ultron here, for chronology's sake:

steves worst nightmare, as portayed in the movie, is LITERALLY going back to the 40s and being stuck there (with peggy too??lmfao) and also the quote "family, stability, the man who wanted all that went in the ice 75 years ago. i think another one came out." objectively confirms that steve isn't the man he used to be, and doesnt want to return to the past. aou may have sucked, but that doesn't mean the character development should be thrown away.

ca:cw. hoo boy. steve went against 117 countries and half of his closest friends and colleagues because he believed bucky was innocent of the bombing of the un conference. god, steve quite literally, did everything to defend and protect bucky. though i shall acknowledge that steve did attend peggy's funeral, however, there was no real connotations there other than the fact he was mourning her death (understabdibly so). steve then proceeds to protect bucky for 2 hours 27 mins and 41 seconds to the point where they escape together to siberia after the airport fight. "i dont know if im worth all this steve" "what you did all those years... it wasnt you. you didnt have a choice." "i know. but i did it" again, absolutely heartbreaking quotes if you read it a couple of times and truly understand the meaning of them. steve somewhat indirectly tells bucky yes, yes he is worth all of this. otherwise, he wouldn't be doing it. a quote to support that would be "for the longest time, i always did what i thought was right." (disclaimer this is not a direct quote i deadass couldnt find it to save my life, i belive steve said it at some point during civil war or tws, but the point is, bucky is the only thing that could have shaken steves morals so intensely.) and finally, the most important part of cw, the fight at the end with tony. bucky and steve constantly protected each other. steve kept fighting because he was fighting for bucky. to keep him safe from tony and the world. he got up, time and time again. "i can do this all day." the fact that he said that to tony, some people consider them the closest of friends, proves again, a million times over, bucky is more important to steve than literally anything else, INCLUDING his shield. his mantle. he dropped it and left it like it was nothing, because his priority was bucky. as always.

theres not much to discuss for infinity war other than their hug whicg was honestly just adorable.

mmmmm endgame. i will not go into how much i hate that movie because it would be a rant quintuple the length of this one. in the support group, steve dead ass fucking says "you gotta move on. you gotta move on" and that sentiment was literally forgotten at the end. my main point for endgame is this. people tend to tell me, the reason steve abandoned bucky and went back to be with peggy is because he knew that he was finally safe. :/. if you had half a braincell youd know that's not true. the steve we know, never would have left bucky for good, ESPECIALLY after the "dont do anything stupid until i get back" exchange [[god i want to beat the shit out of the r*ssos]] mostly because, bucky had fucking no one in the time he was living in!!! no family, no friends and most heartbreakingly, no one he could trust. (yes sam was there but were just seeing their friendship develop now in tfatws, all that wasnt there in endgame) and secondly, what made steve think bucky was entirely safe??? half of the worlds population just suddenly reappeared, which as we see now, there were massive consequences for that. i simply believe steve is not that stupid. steve going back was disrespectful not only to his character, but to bucky AND peggy. most importantly, the steve we've been watching since 2011 would NEVER abandon bucky, no matter how safe he thought he was (he visited him frequently in wakanda, the safest place on the planet arguably ffs) especially for such a dumbass and quite frankly, nonsensical reason as going back to be with peggy, who clearly stated to him she moved on, and so should he (which he did. idk endgame writers prolly didnt watch the previous movies :/) its not even debatable. bucky is more important to steve than peggy. even in terms of screentime.

now allow some tweets to speak for me, this one being the absolute most important one:

ladies and gentlefolk, all of the stuff ive said can be summarised in that last line. "it would be contrary to who he is."

heres some more:

and now finally, id like to briefly mention steve and tfatws, so beware of spoilers (writing this as of ep 4 coming out; praying it doesn't age badly)

bucky mentions steve, unprompted, fucking constantly. he clearly isnt over steve leaving, and im hoping that gets acknowledged and talked out in the show.

in conclusion, tl:dr, steve shouldn't have returned to the past and stayed there, it is contrary to who he is, as shown to us through his trilogy and other appearances in the mcu. not to mention the timeline bullshit in endgame makes zero sense in the first place.

[itjazzbicch]

Blame

Pairing:  Joey Janela x Fem Reader

Summary: On Television, the reader is a member of the Best Friends, portraying as Trent's girlfriend, but no one knows that she is dating Joey Janela. On her big night, when she wins the title in AEW, Trent professes his love to her, kissing her in front of everyone and Joey does not take it kindly...

Warnings:  SMUT!!!!!!!! (18+ ONLY!)

Requested by:  @hungmanhorsecarriage​ (I hope you enjoy!!)

Word Count:  2400

Tag List: @demonqueen29​ @jessiebean00​ @new-zealand-chic​ @crowleysqueenofhell​ @justamess44​ @thatpanpal​ @hungmanhorsecarriage​ @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch​  @linziland13​ @xxx-jazz-xxx​ @writtingrose​

I DO NOT OWN THIS GIF

“Ladies and gentlemen, your winner and NEW AEW WOMENS CHAMPION, Y/N!!!”

That was something that I thought I would never hear and instantly, tears began to streaming down my cheeks slowly.

Everyone told me that I couldn’t do it. My opponent tried to take me out so many times, but I prevailed and now, I was the champion.

I hugged that title so tightly then raised it up high when the referee raised my hand.

If that wasn’t any better, I had my best friends there.

I was a part of the Best Friends, Trent and I being a couple on television, but we were really just friends. It was a good feeling to know that they were all happy for me, still holding the title in the air when they did our group hug.

There was nothing that could bring me down, everyone growing silent when we noticed that Trent had a microphone.

“I hope you guys don’t mind if I have a moment on the microphone and speak from my heart, ” Trent began, turning to me with a smile, pointing at me when he continued:

“There is nothing that this woman cannot accomplish! Since AEW started, she has busted her ass! Making this women’s division stronger! Having first-time-ever matchups! Facing the men in this industry! Being the best friend that she has always been! Being the best girlfriend that she has always been and now, she is the champion!”

Everyone agreed with Trent and even though we weren’t really dating, his words still meant a lot to me because we were friends.

“Baker tried to injury her! Got her jumped! Played so many mind games, but she prevailed and I want you all to know-” Trent added, coming to me, putting the title around my waist, then standing in front of me, “I want you to know that I am so proud of you and that there is no woman on this earth that I love more than you, Y/N!”

I thought Trent’s, I love you, was a friendly one, but I was wrong because what I thought was going to be a hug, was much more than that.

Trent hugged me like it was the last he would ever have and he kissed me, in front of everyone, on camera.

Everyone was cheering, but I was losing my shit! We were just a couple on television! Trent has never done anything more than hug me or wrap his arm around me!

No offense to Trent, but I didn’t love him. I loved my boyfriend, Joey Janela.

He was my real boyfriend and he was the first person I thought about when I felt Trent’s lips against mine.

I kept my eyes closed, telling myself in my head:

This is just a dream. Just a crazy dream. Haha

Unfortunately, it wasn’t a dream. Trent kissed me one more time after our lips parted, smiling down at me before he picked me up and put me on his shoulder.

It was so hard to pretend to be happy like I was a few moments ago when I won, showing my title to the fans.

The moment we got backstage, I lied and said I needed to use the ladies' room, but I rushed to Sonny and Joey’s locker room, finding Sonny just like I hoped.

“Sonny, I’m gonna die! Trent’s gonna die! Where the fuck is Lance Archer because everybody is going to fucking die?!” I stressed, not holding back the emotions and losing my mind.

“Y/N, deep breath’s, okay?” Sonny sighed, trying to get me to calm down, “You just won the title! You should be happy!”

“Thank you,” I smiled, truly appreciative, but snapping right back into panic mode, “But Trent just professed his love for me and kissed me in front of fucking everyone! Joey is going to lose his shit! I’m losing my shit!”

“Joey is the type,” Sonny admitted, hugging me, but the bit of peace we had didn’t last long when we heard a loud knock on the door, anger in Joey’s voice when he said:

“I know you both are in there!”

Sonny didn’t hesitate to unlock the door, letting him in and god, he looked angrier than he sounded, his face turning ready.

“Joey, please don’t-“ Sonny began, but Joey wasn’t having it, snapping:

“Sonny, don’t even bother!”

“It’s not her fault and you know it!” Sonny snapped back, not taking his shit and standing up for me.

“Can we just have some time alone?” I asked Sonny quietly.

He answered with a smile, but shooting Joey a dirty look and slamming the door shut when he left.

The silence between Joey and I was so damn scary like a horror movie. He was huffing and puffing, his hair frizzing when he began sweating a little from all of the anger.

“I told you that you needed to get out of this storyline and now look!” Joey yelled and at first, I wanted to stay quiet, but I started freaking out again when I yelled:

“How the hell was I supposed to know that was going to happen? Usually,, He always keeps things professional. I’m not a damn mind reader, Joey!”

“Yeah, and it’s pretty obvious that he had enough of being, “professional”!” Joey mocked, “And the first thing you do is run to Sonny and avoid me?!”

“Yeah! Because when you’re jealous, you always lose your shit!” I snapped, “I’m losing my shit too!”

“I have every damn right to be “jealous”!” Joey argued, “How would you feel if another girl kissed me, huh?!”

“Tonight was supposed to be my night,” I cried, holding my title, “You see this Joey? I busted my ass for this!”

It became hard to fight through the tears, but still able to continue:

“Trent can kick rocks! I don’t love him! I love you! He’s the one who did this, not me. All I wanted was to bask in the glory of winning my title, but I guess that’s too much to ask for.”

Finally, Joey calmed down for a moment. He was breathing normally again after a deep breath, realizing that I was right. Even though that was hard for him.

But when I told him that I loved saying quietly:

“You know that I love you too, Y/N. I know how hard you worked for that and I’m proud. Not only are we going to celebrate, but I’m also making sure everyone here knows that the champion is my girl.”

“Please,” I smiled, putting my title down while we almost to each other, my soul about being smacked out of my body when his lips hit mine and hard.

His whole body felt like it was on fire and during every touch, it was like I could feel it, feel how frustrated he was and I couldn’t blame him. I was frustrated too, but this was our time to let that all out and we sure did.

The next thing I knew, clothes were flying all over the locker room, my wrestling boots, and knee pads just being launched in all directions, and when he tried to get on the couch, we were moving too fast and fell on the floor.

“Fuck that couch!” Joey groaned, throwing one of his shoes at it, shoving the small coffee table into the corner, “We can do it on the floor.”

I was just about to spread my legs wide, kind of wanting to tease him, but there was no time for that.

My body followed along when he flipped me over, putting me in a doggy-style position, wasting no time, about splitting me in two when he lined his tip with my entrance, then slamming into me, all of his cock in me with just one thrust.

“Oh,” I whined sharply, being a smartass when I said, “I just wrestled a match you know?”

“Don’t act like this is the first time we fucked after a match,” He groaned, giving me another quick thrust, shutting me up and making me moan.

Joey was definitely dominant, animalistic at times, but this time, with what happened tonight, that was all quadrupled.

Hard, fast, unrelentless.

I couldn’t even have a second to try and collect my thoughts with the way he was giving it to me, hands refusing to leave my hips, pulling me back to make his cock go even deeper.

Not even five minutes and I was being turned into a whining, moaning mess, keeping my ass perked up while my upper body collapsed, trying to take deep breaths, but I ended up burying my face in the floor, smacking it.

“This ain’t no submission match,” Joey chuckled, taking one of my arms and also taking a handful of my hair, pulling my head up.

Both holds gave him more leverage, my back arching hard when I felt hard, pounding shots at my sweet spot that were nonstop.

His hand was tugging at my hair a little harder, pulling me up towards him and since he was kneeling, I could kind of sit on his lap which helped, but with the way he was going, fucking me senseless, it didn’t matter.

“I wanna hear you screaming my name,” Joey growled in my ear, biting at it, the bites falling down to my neck and shoulder, while his hand left my hair and found my throat, giving it a good squeeze, “I can’t hear anything when your face is in the floor.”

“Joey,” I whined loudly, “Baby, you’re so damn good.”

“It’s good when I fuck your brains out, huh?” He snickered, biting my neck again, making sure marks were left behind.

At the same time, his hand let go of my arm, taking a handful of my breast, twisting my nipple and it sent this tingling feeling through my body, my core and walls clamping up.

Joey must’ve liked the feeling, his hand quickly falling to my hip, his forearm pushing my hips down while his fingers were at my clit, going in circles.

“Just know, you’re going to cum more than once,” He smiled against my shoulder with a kiss, pulling down to just his tip and railing my walls on every thrust, with having me up straight and bouncing up and down.

“‘Now, cum all over me,” He commanded, “I wanna be soaked.”

“Joey,” I moaned out, every moan so dirty and it was to the point where I was just about screaming, never experiencing such an overwhelming orgasm.

It about drained me, my body growing tired so quickly when all the heat flushed out of me and soaked all of cock and thighs, even the floor.

Joey lived up to his word but was kind enough to give me a second. I fell to all fours, finally having a moment to breathe properly until I felt a hard smack on my ass, and then another one.

I turned back to look at him with a smile, seeing his eyes still full of fire, unable to control himself again when he picked me up and turned me around.

“Get over here, ” He growled, kissing me hard with so much tongue, wrapped his arms around my waist, picking me up so that I was up straight, my legs wrapped his waist while my arms held onto his neck.

“Oh my, oh my God,” I cried, drooling on his shoulder, taking all of him in a quick, smooth thrust again.

I took a handful of his, holding on tight as he repeated that same cycle, just as fast as before. He knew how good he was, loving the sight of my head falling back, all of the pleasure making my eyes roll back when I felt him in my lower core near my stomach.

Even with my eyes open, my vision started turning white, in a bunch of flashes, my walls clamping tighter than ever. I could feel another orgasm building up more and more as I held onto his neck tightly, turning his red flesh white.

One of his hands went around my neck, the other holding the arch of my back, letting my back fall back to the floor, still keeping my lower half up and arched while he hammered away b

Salacious moans and screams, wet skin, groans were all anyone in the entire place could probably hear because we were going like wild animals.

It was to the point where I couldn't breathe again, looking back at anything to try and distract myself, but then I saw the door and shadows, feet by it, just standing there.

Joey was curious as to what I was looking at, noticing and it put an evil smile on his face.

“Looks like we attracted attention, ” He laughed, slowing down for a moment so I was laid down properly and he could be on top of me.

“Joey!! I’m so close baby,” I whined, but looking back to the feet and they were still there.

“You’re going to get what you want,” He assured, “Just couldn’t help but notice what you were staring at.”

We both looked and then I ended up moaning loudly, unprepared for the crazy thrust I received.

“Everyone is going to know that you’re mine after tonight,” Joey whispered in my ear, smothering me with kisses on top of my wicked moans, working harder than before, “Even if they walked in right now, I’d still keep going, show them who really rocks your world.”

“We all know it’s you, Joey, ” I said quickly, growing frantic, scratching up his back when I felt my orgasm forming up and it was ready, “Joey! Joey!”

My body seized when I latched all around him, holding on for dear life, my whole body pulsating to the point where it was the only thing that I could hear.

“Oh hell yeah, that’s it,” Joey groaned, it rumbling in his chest while he took the time to enjoy it, his cock sure enjoying it when I felt it beginning to throb.

“Baby,” I whispered, still panting, but wanting something.

“Yeah, baby girl?” He asked, his hair falling down when he looked at me.

“If we get in trouble, I am blaming you,” I warned, both of us blurting out in laughter.

“Go ahead,” He smiled devilishly, kissing me, “I’ll gladly take the blame.”

[kohakhearts]

Read FREE on Patreon!

For centuries, the world of Komos has been neatly divided into two categories: Light and Dark, the kingdom of Aether and, beyond the uncrossable border, the kingdom of Erebus. The relic of a great war headed by the royal Evenellis brothers, said to be the first humans blessed with the ability to cast magic, the division between the Light mage Aetherians and the Dark mage Erebusians has been heralded by a long and bloody history of hatred for one another on account of their magical differences.

Sixteen-year-old Nerissa Smith and her younger brother, Poseidon, are Grey mages: a perfect and unheard of mix of Light and Dark. Just months after the Heavens have lost their regular hue to an extraordinary, omnipresent grey, Poseidon is dreaming of the angelic diviners described in myth books across the globe, and their secretive mother is acting even more oddly than usual. When her past unexpectedly collides with their present, the three of them are forced out of hiding and wind up under the protection of a dedicated group of political reformists. Led by a childhood friend of their mother’s, the idealistic ex-noble Adonis Archer, these people want a revolution—and they think Nerissa and Poseidon can be the ones to spark it.

But it is not only the social order of their kingdom that is falling out of balance; the infinite entity Chaos, giver of all the world’s magic and commander of the twelve mythical angels of Poseidon’s dreams, seems to have something to do with the disturbance of the Heavens. By virtue of their hybrid magic, it is suddenly up to Nerissa and Poseidon to find a way to restore stability to their world, even as they prepare for the war they were born to fight.

one year after its initial early access release to my patrons, my fantasy novel Of Storm and Ash is now available to read in full for free! OSA is about 400 pages long, which totals up to 18 chapters and roughly 135k words. it’s the first of a four-part series following 16-year-old Nerissa Smith and her 12-year-old brother, Poseidon. as of today, book 2, Of Earth and Sky, is available to read with a pledge of $1+, ahead of a september 15 release. one year from now, OES will be made free to read as well, alongside the early access release of book 3!

if you’re interested in buying OSA as a paperback, hardcover, or ebook, you can do so here.

i have been touched beyond words at the response OSA has gotten by friends and strangers alike, and i’m so, so grateful for all the support! every piece of fanfiction written or fanart drawn is something i cherish; i have admittedly been moved to tears by some of the reviews and DMs i received from readers. this story is very near to my heart, and it means more to me than i can ever say to know it has impacted others too! i’ve always wanted to just tell stories. it’s not my goal to monetize my writing. i do this for fun, and i post and publish my work to reach others. so, i really hope you enjoy the story with the chance to read it without the need to bypass a paywall!

that being said, writing is my sole source of income as i work towards my bachelor’s degree. despite some chronic health issues and moderate-to-severe adhd, i’m a full-time student - and i pay out-of-pocket to publish my work around rent, tuition, medications, and all my other bills and expenses. if you can and are willing, tips to my ko-fi go a long way, or you can access all my original work at least one year before everyone else with a pledge to my patreon as low as $1. i receive all royalties from my book sales, so if you would like to buy my novels in a real book format, it would be incredibly appreciated! once all my own needs are met, i choose to save any money i make from writing with the end goal of donating as much of it as i can to help mental health initiatives in rural canada, particularly for youths.

thank you so much again for supporting me! if you read OSA, i really hope you enjoy it!

“Here’s to rebirth,” Ada said, and there was no trace of parteam in baella anywhere in her voice.

Here’s to revolution, Nerissa heard. It was singing out all around them, the chants of their fellows. Their brothers in arms. Their family, if they could even be called that.

Those before them had spread their ashes.

Now, they would bring storm unto the kingdom, and finish what they had started.

- Of Storm and Ash, chapter 8

[coffee-prince-kyungsoo]

EMBRACE ME ONE LAST TIME (PREVIEW)

Pairing: Jaehyun x Reader

Genre: Business AU

Summary: Amelia finds herself on a company trip on a beach in Korea with another company and meets a young handsome man named Jaehyun who shares the same values and thoughts. During the week long trip she finds herself being vulnerable and comes out of her shell to a man that she just met. Can this connection last until they have to return back to the city? Will her wall prevent her from truly being able to fall in love with someone? Or will this be another case of leaving a promising relationship before it has time to fully bloom?

Warnings: ANGST, SMUT, FLUFF, SOME CURSE WORDS

<3<3<3

There’s only so much that one can do in order to survive without the need of loving someone. Most are under the control of someone they love romantically, and they don’t even realize it until it’s to late. Amelia had always been aware of how some people had complete power of their loved ones and had always told herself that she would never be under someone’s influence. It was hard for her to grow up in an environment as the only daughter to a single mother. As the youngest of three, it was hard for her to grow up with the expectations that were thrown at her by her mother. The woman that was supposed to take care of her, love her, and most of all support her.

“I’m gonna need these documents filed in the quarterly repost by the end of today. Plus it’s good to note down the decrease this quarter in manufacturing due to the strike the workers in division three caused.” Carrie placed down a box on Amelia’s desk with an apologetic frown.

“I thought Haechan was in charge of division Three?” The girl groaned at the extra work she was given.

“ Haechan called in sick and needed to head back into town due to his mom being hospitalized. I’m sorry, you know I hate handing you work when we’re about to head out but this needs to done. PLUS Anderson said he’s thinking about raising your pay due to the large workers protest going on. Please don’t be mad at me, I’m trying my best too!”

“Fine, only because I’m getting a pay raise and you said you’re treating me to lunch and a few drinks.”

“When did i say I’d cover your lunch?”

With just the glare thrown her way, only one response was given.

“I’m paying for your lunch and drinks” Carrie said with confidence.

“There you go, you just said it. Looked like you were about to protest.” Amelia laughed as she continued to type away on her desktop.

As the hours dragged on Amelia went through the contracts he boss Anderson finalized when he came to to Korea. It wasn’t the best job in the world, but being a foreigner who just moved to Korea, she was ready to take on this job. It was difficult to find a job with so many workers who came of different countries. It wasn’t a traditional company, and for that the girl was thankful. Given that this is one of the best jobs that Korea had to offer her as a foreigner was a big deal. It had amazing pay and benefits. The only problem with just being in the country was being accepted in friend groups and finding relationships. She knew that being a foreigner in Korea wasn’t going to be easy. This was the real world and this wasn’t some k-drama where everyone accepts you and welcomes you with open arms. Yes, there were racist and men that would cat call her, and try to assault her and ask for a one night stand because “Foreign women are more open minded then Korean girls.” As much as the country had it’s downs, it also let her meet amazing people in her company and amazing locals that helped her get accustomed to life in Korea. It was rough to begin with. Living in the United States as a Mexican-American wasn’t exactly the American dream. Being belittled due her just simply being a young Hispanic woman and being told to go back to her country were something the girl had learned to live with. She was to Mexican to be considered American and to white American to be considered Mexican in her home country that she learned to love growing up. There was not in between. But she knew that the world had it’s people who were amazing and wanted to learn about one another’s culture. Anderson, her boss was a big help to her when she moved to Korea and helped the young girl get accustomed in the new country and helped her with finding friends. She met amazing people through him and she was forever thankful to her sweet boss.

“Lia, Anderson said that the filing can be finished this weekend, he read the dates wrong.” Carrie leaned up against her cubical with a smile.

“Good because there was no way i could have finished these today. What time is it?”

“Time to go, with this quarter coming to an end Anderson thought it be best if our division go home early to relax before all the paper work and contracts be finalized and sent to statistics and Joey’s department.” Both girls turned their desktops off and walked to the elevator.

“I wonder how lucky we got with Anderson. When I tell you the last office job I had in the states was a nightmare I mean it. I was in the trenches with corporate America and I swear to you I regretted ever studying business.” Amelia continued to ranted to Carrie as they made their way down to the ground floor.

“What do you want to eat? I was thinking that you can save your pre-paid lunch and make me some of that soup you made me last time, Please?!” Carrie hung onto Lia’s arm as they walked to the subway station.

“Sure why not. I was kinda getting home sick and i think the soup can help me feel better.”

“ Did you pack for the company trip?” Carrier muttered under her breath as they reached the top of the stairs completely winded. Carrie was considering trips to the gym due to the lack of breath after the simple flight of stairs.

“Can’t see how it’s a trip to relax when i have to work on our paper work and the contracts. They couldn’t chose to do this after the quarter ends?” Lia whines as they reach the stations terminal.

“You’d think having such an amazing company you would have n amazing staff to plan things out in a timely fashion but i guess not everyone gets what they want. Even the top of the food chain. BUT imagine they amount of fresh meat we’ll see, he hot men AND women. I honestly can’t wait. I even prepared my hottest swimming suits.” The girls giggled at Carrie’s last statement before hopping on the subway on their way back home to their shared apartment.

—————

AN: This is a small preview for the new fic I’m working on! I hope you like the little that I’ve uploaded so far! I hope you guys look forward to reading the rest!!!

[kaypeace21]

Rebel Robin podcast (ep 3 &4 analysis)

For those who haven’t read them yet. Here’s the analysis for podcast ep 1&2. Analysis of Rebel Robin book-here. And eastereggs from rebel robin novel- here.

So the main things I noticed in ep 3 was how Robin spying was shown as a huge NEGATIVE-and Mr Hauser got upset over her doing so. Robin listens to mr. Hauser’s phone call (like Karen with Mike in s3/ us gov spying on calls in s1) & on a different occasion Robin also eavesdrops on a private convo he is having with someone else in his classroom ( like El spying on Mike talking to Lucas in s3). And when he finds out about this he tells her how wrong it was to spy on other people like that. In the past, I also talked about how the theme of spying is shown for many other st characters ( in the show) and how it  isn’t romanticized like people think it is- here .

Anyways , Ep 3 ends with a call from a h*mophobic teen( Dash) telling Robin to “stay away” from Mr. Hauser cause he’s “dangerous”. Why he thinks he’s dangerous is solely for the fact he’s gay.I think this theme may come into play in s4 Hawkins (in relation to the satanic panic). In ep 4 Robin jokes to (gay) Mr. Hauser  : “ So what are you into... satanism?” (Sadly most queer people have been told over and over we’re going to hell for being gay/lgbt+. it’s sadly an almost universal experience.) For those unaware- the ‘satanic panic’ was a right wing christian movement in the 80′s that WRONGLY associated certain things with supposed satanism.  Just some of the many things they demonized : rock music , stephen king , wearing black,  horror/fantasy media, and of course queer people and d&d (hellfire club - the name is a a xmen ref but in the show it’s probably an inside joke about the satanic panic and people being scared of d&d). We see foreshadowing of the satanic panic hinted in s3 (in relation to d&d)- on tv the narrator asks if “satanism” (pans to d&d set) is to blame for the odd occurrances in Hawkins. And given how the s4 el-trailer had the clock say 3:00am for the “witching hour” also called “the devil’s hour” since it’s supposed to be a subversion of jesus dy*ing at 3:00 pm. And the possibility s4 may take place around Easter.  I think we’ll see that religious (Christian) extre*sm  causes many people in Hawkins to interpret the supernatural as ‘satanic’. And no , I’m obviously not talking poorly about all religious/christian people).

After this Mr. Hauser jokes how Hawkins is like “lord of the flies” and how he “worries” what would happen if teens were left to their own devices-like in the book. The themes in the book mostly focus on the dangers of ‘mob mentality’ and how human beings can become v*olent and turn on each other- if the safety of civilization disappears...

This I believe is foreshadowing - i mentioned in a post a while back (here). How movies on the s4 list had the theme of :  a supernatural event indirectly causing towns people to act irrationally and turn on eachother v*olently. Despite literal monsters attacking them from outside (they chose to turn on eachother instead). In the end some townspeople become the real monsters via mob mentality/v*oence/false witch hunts (the mist, the birds, etc). In ‘the birds’ (while people are hidding in a store)- they wrongly  blame certain characters for the supernatural chaos. Similarly, in ‘the mist’ (crowd of townspeople are trapped in a store) and some  start interpreting the monsters as being sent as punishment by god- some town’s people start quoting the bible and saying the only way to stop the punishment is to start “sacrificing the s*nners and nonbelievers”. BIG YIKES.ST references mapple street (where the wheelers and sinclairs live). It’s based on the twilight zone ep of the same name “The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street” .The ‘monsters’ of that episode -were the townspeople turning on eachother because they incorrectly think their own neighbors are part of an invading supernatural army. The enemy was actually the paranoia/mob mentality-not the supernatural force they feared.  And yes i do think this concept is linked with 80s satanic panic and will cause some town division/obstacles for our heroes to deal with . **I also think the s4 bts of the Hawkins blood clinic-may be used to show h*mophobia (linked to satanic panic) in the town. Like in one s4 movie “paradise lost”the punk rock boys who were into black clothes, rock music , horror/stephen king books- were accused by the town’s people of being gay AND have demonic powers that are k*lling fellow town’s people.

Mr Hauser says he thinks steve Harrington is Ralph from lord of the flies. And Robin disagrees saying he’s Jack. Personally- since this was when Robin didn’t know/hated Steve. I think Mr hauser is right that Steve is Ralph (one of the oldest boys) who’s “commitment to civilization and morality is strong”. But Jack  (perhaps the popular s4 kid Jake?) and his savage crew take control of the group and start trying to attack Ralph and his friends (steve’s crew- over satanic panic?). How this begins is -

 Jack, torments Ralph and others. And some kids begin to develop savage personalities, after someone claims to have seen a Beast (demongorgan?) in the woods. This creates fear among the boys, which allows Jack to access more power.Ralph gets into an argument with Jack, who splits from the tribe. Many of the other boys follow Jack, who uses fear to manipulate the boys into leaving Ralph. And Jack’s crew begin attacking Ralph and his friends.

----------------

Ok, next topic of ep 4- the sentimental part of my brain got emotional when hearing how upset Robin was. And than Mr Hauser-telling her she’s wrong and she’s not “broken” or “rotten” and “nothing about her needs to be fixed’” (got me right in the feels) . As a queer person- I feel like every lgbt+ kid/teen needs to hear what Mr. Hauser said to Robin. 

However,  the analytical part of my brain -did notice some easterggs/ series parallels.

The convo starts with them talking about music Mr hauser likes (such as Bowie). And transitions to Mr Haauser asking about things she likes, whether she’s being bullied, and he later tells her “ DON’T let other people’s small mindedness make you fell bad about yourself. you don’t need to change yourself-no matter what anyone else says” . And Mr Hauser than says him calling her the “weirdest girl in Hawkins” was a compliment (not an insult-like she initially assumed). 

This is remarkably similar to certain scenes in s1/2. In s1, Jonathan mentions musicians he likes such as Bowie, asks Will about what he likes,  and tells Will “don't like things cause people tell you you’re supposed to-especially not him (their dad who called him h*mophobic names)” . In s2, Jonathan tries to cheer Will up after asking if he's being being bullied. And calls Will  “a freak” (and says it’s a good thing) and he should be content with being a “freak “ and compares Will to Bowie ( who was openly queer since the 70s) . 

In ep 4, Robin also mentions how sad she is that her parents won’t let her ride her bike anymore cause their paranoid about her safety  (like what happened to Will in s2).

Robin (before Mr. Hauser comforts her) says she feels like she has a “rot” inside her  . This is a s2 eastergg that could be linked to either Will or El. Will says his now-memories are “growing”, spreading”, and killing.” Later Kali says the emotional pain caused by her father  caused a “wound” to “spread”. Later allusion-Brenner tells El she has a “terrible wound “ (“a rot”) that Will “grow, spread, and kill.”

The reason Robin rants about feeling like she has a “rot” inside her is because she’s being bullied, and  lost all her Hawkins friends and says  “maybe I’m broken maybe there is just something about me that drives people away? I’m the only common denominator-there’s something wrong with me! There’s something inside of me that’s just rotten and there’s nothing i can do to fix it”. Which 1)-poor Robin. 2) I feel like could easily be How Will feels in s4(who will be the same age as Robin is here in the podcast)- his dad abandoned him, all his hawkins friends are gone , the st s4 movies have h*mophobic bullying in them (and he was bullied in the past). In a interview Noah said Will in s4 “doesn’t really get along with people-it’s just him and Mike.”  I think it fits more so with Will than El . But they may feel similar:  it’s implied in s4 audition tapes she’ll be bullied too,  she moved away from her friends,  and her father (Hopper) fake “passed away.” It could easily be how both Will and El feel in s4- that there is  something “broken”/ “rotten” about them . In fact, in the rebel Robin novel there is even a character named Sheena. Sheena reminds me a bit of a mix between Will and el . She is very quiet, queercoded, and is often bullied. And she finds mean notes and other things stuffed  in her locker- placed there by bullies. A bit like how Will found the zombie-boy note in his locker. A teacher doesn’t stop her bullying just blames her and says “ This wouldn’t happen if you made it just a smidgen easier for PEOPLE to understand you.”(sort of reminding me of that Noah quote about s4 Will not getting along with most people/Jonathan saying not to change himself cause “people” say to). But sheena can be another name for Jane (there was also a 80s show character named Sheena who was psychic) so ...maybe foreshadowing of el/jane being bullied in highschool? Along with Will?

*It’s not a eastergg/parallel...just speculation. Unlike the rebel robin book... in the podcast (in multiple episodes) almost every time she opens up to Mr Hauser about her problems she says it’s ok for him to do the same and she’ll be supportive and listen. However, Mr Hauser (so far) always rejects her offer-much to her hurt/frustration. In ep 4, she asks if he has someone his “own age” he can talk to about his problems-which he says he does. Now... since in ep 4 Mr hauser is paralleled to Jonathan maybe Jonathan will have someone his own age to talk to about his problems (maybe his new friend Argyle?) We see similar to Mr Hauser giving advice/pep talks to (gay) Robin. Jonathan is always giving advice/peptalks to our (gay-coded) Will. But so far- Jonathan has no one he really emotionally leaned on in the same way (Will does with Jonathan). I also wonder if Will in s4 starts gets tired of how he always confides in Jonathan (but Jonathan never does the same with Will  in return)? Like Robin with Mr. Hauser?