#this is ominous as fuck tho

[that-unfortunate-crow]

STAY CALM!

EVERYBODY STAY FUCKIN CALM!!!

[motivation-ga-shinderu]

"the person you love isn't real and never was. and even if they were, they've already changed so much since then that you can't love them anymore" -my oomf eve who said this about subkit. here's another relevant reddit comment too

[theanimetrackstar]

I already made a post about this but I made it 10x better:

[mourn-and-watch]

I genuinely think that the best concept mass effect introduced is that your face decomposes in a sexy villainous way when you worsen your mental state by being rude and committing war crimes

[snailfen]

finally catching up on inanimate insanity invitational! i left things off on episode 4 like forEVER ago. and i forgot how much this show kills me

same energy as "youre a nasty little sewage boy, arent you doctor freeman?"

ALSO <:) THEYRE FRIENDDSSSSSSSSSSS FINALLYYYYYY

[softhowerton]

ok abbot ep was great actually i loved that

[kiddokori]

things i like about totk so far: the depths,

i am going to be so completely honest i thought id be able to think of more. um. this is awkward

[future-crab]

requesting a rant about that sweeney todd song 👀

Ooh thank you!

So. Johanna Quartet (which I spelled wrong in my post. Sorry, Johanna.) and why it slaps.

The first thing that deserves a mention is that it’s just absolutely beautiful. I don’t know anything about music theory, so I won’t try to break that element down, but if you haven’t, I’d really recommend giving it a listen. The 2023 revival cast version is excellent imo.

The part I mainly want to talk about is Sweeney’s verses, cause I think they’re really interesting. It’s (arguably) the most introspective we ever see him in the show, and it is (arguably) both the point in the tragedy when it becomes clear that it’s too late for things to turn out well, and the false high where it seems like things might work out.

Like, the beginning of the song makes it pretty clear that at this point, he has become the person he most hates. With his possessiveness over Johanna (“my little lamb, my pet” and all that) and the incestuous overtones in lines like, “And are you beautiful and pale, with yellow hair, like her? I’d want you beautiful and pale, the way I dreamed you were, Johanna” it’s laid bare for the audience that there is no difference, really, between him and Judge Turpin anymore. They both just want to own this woman, because she’s beautiful and reminds them of her mother.

But then the last couple verses come in, and we’re given a tantalizing glimpse at the possibility of character growth with lines like, “And though I’ll think of you I guess until the day I die, I think I miss you less and less as every day goes by, Johanna.” From the second he walked onstage, he’s been single-minded in his focus on his grief and revenge, but in this incongruously honest moment, he’s admitting that he could move on.

And then! And then!!! For (to my memory) the first and only time in the show, he actually acknowledges that his fantasy of getting Johanna back is flawed. Like, earlier he doubted that it would happen (“And I’ll never see Johanna, no I’ll never hug my girl to me,” “I think we shall not meet again, my little dove, my sweet Johanna,” etc) but this is the first time he acknowledges that if it did, it wouldn’t make him happy. “And you’d be beautiful and pale, and look too much like her.” Getting Johanna back would just remind him of everything else he’s lost. There is no going back.

And his last line in the song encapsulates this contradiction – “Wake up, Johanna, another bright red day. We learn, Johanna, to say goodbye.” On the surface it seems like more character growth – he’s going to learn to let go of the past! – but the fact that he can’t help but address this statement to Johanna is a sign that he’s still too deep in his obsession. You get the sense, even at this point where he’s the closest he’s ever gotten acknowledging his fatal flaw, that it’s far too late.

Also probably worth mentioning that the entire time he’s going through all this introspection, he’s just. Slitting people’s throats. Just the whole time.

[sacredjake]

no.

[reitziluz]

Chapter 3 - Workplace Affairs

working around each other. showers of freezing cold rain. clearing up curses. things like this don’t stay hidden for long.

chapter word count: 6,9K (nice)

a/n: you come up with one joke about psychic vampires and suddenly the word count has doubled. oh well. first fully new content in the rewrite, come get your exorcism shenanigans!

(a hanahaki serirei longfic (reboot) - updates monthly)

[ourladyoftheflytrap]

Literally I feel exactly the same way now as I did when I was 13 except that now i have too much to live for to go around trying to kill myself all the time

[rainiiis]

I love uni because you can just sit there being extremely focused in class and suddenly someone walks in casually and just sits there silently half an hour after the beginning of the class and like. The professor just ignores them. Literally no one cares.

And look I know it's a typical college thing but after highschool it's just very different. Like in highschool teachers kick your ass and send you to the office. Here they just royally ignore you. I love it.

[vault81]

so we're just not gonna address the 50ft tar monster thing we just saw before dying Sam?? just gonna move swiftly on from that?? is that thing so normal that you don't care?? do you always see that at a voidout???

[roomba-mangga]

rubber ducking my way through these revisions... i'm at the point where the thing is complete but not polished and the polishing phase never stops driving me nuts

[dickggansey]

i gotta reread the body by stephen king i have to

[astonmartinii]

day one: when you wish upon a star | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem reader

he's been begging max to set him up ... and look who has him in the grid secret santa!

christmas song: my only wish (this year) - britney spears

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

f1

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 1,209,488 others

tagged: carlossainz55, pierregasly & landonorris

f1: it's that time of the year again... it's secret santa time!

view all comments

user1: THE SPEEDOS????

user2: 100% from valterri

user3: what do we have to do to see them on tho ???

user4: HUH?

user3: we're all thinking it??

alexalbon: since you're a blabber mouth @charles_leclerc PLEASE PUT MORE EFFORT INTO YOUR GIFT THIS YEAR

charles_leclerc: my gift was great last year idk what you people are talking about

alexalbon: if i unwrap a calendar i will set horsey on leo

charles_leclerc: @rspca GET HIM

user5: i love with secret santa you can really tell which drivers are actually friends lol

user6: charles... we're looking at you last year

user7: the teaser showed that max got lando ... could be interesting after this season

maxverstappen1: not that i need to ... but i have a plan

user8: really?

maxverstappen1: i have concepts of a plan!

landonorris: please don't like gift wrap like a litter box or something

maxverstappen1: oh i like my cats much more than i like you why would i do that?

maxverstappen1: AHA! I HAVE IT

landonorris: that sounds ominous

carlossainz55: is it something to do with his pathetic crush on a certain someone

landonorris: LALALALALLALALA SHUT THE FUCK UP I DON'T WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW ABOUT THAT MAX PLEASE DON'T I'M SORRY ABOUT AUSTRIA

user9: well now it needs to happen...

user10: whoever came up with the grid secret santa i need to give you a big fat kiss

maxverstappen1: you might not be the only one ....

landonorris: SHUT UP

maxverstappen1: hehehehehee

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 14,055 others

yourusername: gift giving is my love language

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user14: okay lando i kinda get you

user15: she's friends with max and looks like that and hasn't been hooked? where is the hope for all of us

maxverstappen1: hideous personality 👍

yourusername: and you're my best friend so what does that say about you?

maxverstappen1: i have zero standards?

yourusername: girl fuck you

user16: i hate bitches that can actually wrap gifts

user17: leave me alone with my crinkled shit held together with a whole roll of tape

landonorris: my love language is words of affirmation :3

yourusername: okay mr praise kink

landonorris: WHAT? NO?

yourusername: whatever you wanna say babygirl

landonorris: oh i ... um - yes!

user18: oh brother this dude stinks

alexalbon: he is even worse in real life

oscarpiastri: but it is just as entertaining

landonorris: i'm glad my low self esteem is so funny for you guys

yourusername: you're amazing lando - don't think badly of yourself :(

landonorris: did you or did you not call me a 'stumpy, entitled british bum' the other day?

yourusername: well that's because you were fighting max and unfortunately we're two trauma bonded cats and he therefore comes first

yourusername: but i still love you!

landonorris: LOVE?

user19: someone check on him?

oscarpiastri: i just found him passed out in his driver's room

georgerussell63: that's becoming blackmail material

landonorris

liked by alexalbon, yourusername and 803,405 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

landonorris: didn't manage to win the championship this time round but i'm hoping max got me something good in the secret santa to say sorry

view all comments

user20: thank god this season is ending

user21: i think it would've killed me if this title race went to abu dhabi again

user22: it's pookie on pookie crime

user23: i fear one of the pookies may have killed the other if this went on any longer

maxverstappen1: wouldn't you like to know weather boy

landonorris: um yes? i hate surprises

maxverstappen1: i think you might like this one 😈

landonorris: that emoji makes me think you've been scheming

maxverstappen1: maybe i have? you'll just have to wait and see ...

landonorris: STOP I CAN HEAR YOUR EVIL LAUGHTER FROM HERE

landonorris: seriosuly how many of you are in on this it sounds like a pack of hyenas this is meant to be SECRET santa

alexalbon: what do you mean i don't know anything about this ...

landonorris: alex YOU CAN'T STOP LAUGHING AROUND ME

alexalbon: maybe i just find you real funny lando?

landonorris: really?

alexalbon: NO

user24: they are enjoying torturing him way too much

maxverstappen1: call it karma for all the shit he talked throughout the season

landonorris: NOO I THOUGHT I WAS GETTING A NICE GIFT ???

maxverstappen1: oh it's definitely a gift for somone...

landonorris: i deadass won't come to the paddock

yourusername: you'll win it soon lands - just wait for max to retire so i can support you wholeheartedly

landonorris: why not now :((((

yourusername: don't worry babe he's old he'll retire in no time

landonorris: yay 🥳 🙌 😀

maxverstappen1: excuse me?

landonorris: is four championships and y/n not enough?

maxverstappen1: no!

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, alexalbon and 1,302,558 others

tagged: yourusername & landonorris

maxverstappen1: not just because i want another trophy, but i'll pick up my best secret santa award now thanks

view all comments

user25: he didn't ???

user26: i think he did

user27: is that not like prostitution?

maxverstappen1: i don't think giving lando a chance to embarrass himself on a date is prostitution

user28: do you have any faith in him?

maxverstappen1: in him? no. but does y/n also have horrible standards and is easily impressed? yes.

alexalbon: he folded so quickly i hope they got it all on camera

oscarpiastri: that was so humiliating it might have to go on a more x rated website

landonorris: OSCAR????

oscarpiastri: it was harrowing mate but she seemed to like it so go you?

carlossainz55: that was a crazy reaction for it to just be y/n

maxverstappen1: i think you're trying to be funny but it might JUST be a skill issue

landonorris: JUST Y/N? KILL YOURSELF

carlossainz55: woah where is the christmas cheer?

landonorris: i will run you over with my sleigh

landonorris: THIS IS THE BEST GIFT ANYONE HAS EVER GOTTEN ME PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE

user29: bro is so down bad that he just took carlando out back and shot them

user30: bro is so lost in the sauce that he is threatening a festive hit and run

yourusername: okay max we can stop pretending that i wasn't also begging you to set me up with lando

maxverstappen1: but it's so funny watching him make a fool of himself

landonorris: HUH???

yourusername: newsflash baby, i'm just as in love with you as you are with me

landonorris: AHHHHHHHHH <333333333

landonorris: i'm sorry i'll get back to being in love with you one sec

landonorris: @alexalbon @georgerussell63 @oscarpiastri @carlossainz55 SUCK ON THAT

landonorris: okay i love you y/n :3

yourusername: i love you too you crazy boy

landonorris

liked by maxverstappen1, alexalbon and 1,430,973 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: christmas wishes do come true!

view all comments

user34: so how long do you think he's had that shirt in preparation?

landonorris: 18 months at least - i have faith in myself even if the others didn't

user35: i can't tell if that's creepy or?

landonorris: IT'S ROMANTIC

yourusername: kiss me it's christmas!

landonorris: only because it's christmas?

yourusername: i guess i can give you a couple more passes...

landonorris: not to be dramatic but now i know what it feels like i might die without it

yourusername: not dramatic at all !!!

maxverstappen1: it is kinda dramatic ...

yourusername: SHUSH!

maxverstappen1: i knew you were mushy about this (your diary reads like a very badly written romance book) but good lord this is awful THESE ARE PUBLIC COMMENTS

yourusername: I FUCKING KNEW YOU READ MY DIARY

maxverstappen1: duh! how else did you think this little scheme came to be?

yourusername: ugh i guess

user36: so like where do i get an f1 driver bestfriend who will invade my privacy to get me a bf?

user37: might just start throwing my diary in the paddock at this point

alexalbon: ur so pathetic i love you

yourusername: excuse me old man

alexalbon: old? OLD?

yourusername: i don't care to google you but i've seen you try and read a menu and scan a QR code so stop declaring your love for my boyf or i will keep going

landonorris: she's so possessive 😩😩😩

yourusername: i ate too many grapes on new year's eve to not get and keep my man

alexalbon: trust me, no one wants ur man

yourusername: tell that to the teenage girls in my DMs

user38: it's a pleasant surprise to see that y/n is just as down bad as lando

user39: match made in heaven ... this MIGHT make me a max verstappen fan

user40: i fear this will be an f1 custody battle for the ages

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 78,209 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: my only wish this year was to finally get you <3

view all comments

user41: i already liked this queen but a queen who loves britney spears christmas... that's mother

user42: one of these most underrated christmas songs ever

oscarpiastri: ... some people have even witnessed her live rendition of it

yourusername: don't sound too excited about it then

oscarpiastri: i appreciated the enthusiasm but like i feel like it was a PRIVATE moment ... not for the whole of the garage to see

landonorris: someone is missing lily ....

user43: i am trying to be joyful as per the holiday season but i am absolutely seething with jealousy

user44: hey siri play that should be me

yourusername: nope sorry never gonna happen :P

user45: okay girl you've made your point no need to rub it in our faces

yourusername: actually i think i will! my bf is pretty why wouldn't i show that off ?

user46: yall can hate her for this but realistically this is how we'd all be if we pulled lando

landonorris: you guys acting as if i'm the catch when it's literally her...

user47: do we think santa's elves can make me a lando norris? REAL ANSWERS ONLY ...

maxverstappen1: WOW you wouldn't think this was a double date trip ...

yourusername: you can't complain about BOTH of us pining and then be annoyed about us being lovey dovey

maxverstappen1: i can and i WILL

landonorris: you know what max you can complain all you want because this has been the BEST secret santa ever

maxverstappen1: so you won't call me a dirty driver next season?

landonorris: eh?

yourusername: make no mistake lando, i may love you but my loyalties on track remain with max

landonorris: as long as you're still coming home with me i guess i'll deal with it

yourusername: luv u xxxx

landonorris: i love you tooooo xxx

user48: is y/n going to do more for the on track tension than the literal fia?

yourusername: always gotta be a woman sorting everything out

user50: babe i think max is just afraid of you and lando is so in love he'll do anything for you

yourusername: AS THEY SHOULD BE

fin.

note: and on the first day of christmas aston martini gave to me a smau that undos all of our max vs lando tension from the season !! thought i'd treat yall to the first day early <33