#thank you for the ask! sorry this was so long and rambly

[llxferim]

Choose Part 2

a/n: FINALLY a part 2 for yall anddd sorry I wasn't in the mood for smuttt. Also, Should I write a Natasha endgame version?

here's part 1 if you haven't read it!

Pairings: Wanda x Fem!Reader

Summary: After that night, all you could think about was Wanda and Natasha. You took a few days off and holed up in your room to think but then, you got a call.

Warnings: Bad language, fem!reader, no y/n used, fluff, drunk reader, alcohol (tell me if i missed anything)

Word count: 2k

After last night, you stayed holed up in your room, the weight of everything pressing heavily on your chest. You had taken a few days off, hoping the time would help you sort through your tangled thoughts. Going on a date with both Wanda and Natasha was supposed to help you choose between them, Instead, it had only deepened the confusion, leaving you trapped,

You didn’t want to hurt either of them—But avoiding the situation wasn’t helping. Silence would only make things worse, and you knew it.

Lying on your bed, the soft hum of a TV show filled the background, though you weren’t paying attention. Your phone buzzed, the vibrations traveling through the mattress before finally reaching you. You picked it up, heart pounding, hoping—no, expecting—it to be Wanda or Natasha. But the screen read, Kate.

Disappointment flickered for a moment, but you answered anyway.

“We’re going out,” Kate declared, her voice brisk and unapologetic. “Get dressed. I can’t stand you moping around like this anymore.”

You blinked, startled by her abruptness. Before you could get a word in, she added, “You have an hour. Bye,” and hung up without waiting for a response.

For a moment, you just stared at your phone, the call already disconnected. Kate’s words rang in your ears, and you couldn’t ignore the sting of truth in them. Had this whole Wanda-Natasha situation really gotten to you that much?

You sighed, letting the phone drop onto the bed beside you. Maybe Kate was right. Maybe you did need to get out, even if just to clear your head.

***

You were in a bar, one of the more popular spots in town, but on a Wednesday night, it was surprisingly quiet. Most of the regulars seemed to be staying in, leaving you to wallow in your own chaos. You were on your fourth shot of whiskey, the fiery liquid blurring the edges of your thoughts. You were pretty sure the entire bar now knew about your messy situation, thanks to your drunken rambling.

Kate wasn’t much help—she’d long since ditched you to dance with some girl she’d just met. You were left at the counter, propping your head on your hand as you unloaded your woes on the bartender—who seemed so uninterested in anything you had to say, but you were too drunk to care.

“Don’t get me wrong,” you slurred, the whiskey loosening your tongue, “Natasha, she’s… she’s amazing. So strong, so beautiful—” You groaned, dragging your hands down your face. “But Wanda, god…” You trailed off, covering your face entirely with your palms and sighing deeply. “Ugh. Never mind.”

A familiar voice cut through the fog of your thoughts. "No, please, continue," Wanda’s voice was soft, but it had that unmistakable edge that made your pulse spike.

Your heart stuttered as you turned to face her, blinking in disbelief. Wanda. Sitting right next to you, a smirk playing on her lips.

"What—" hic "What are you doing here?" You stammered, your breath catching in your chest.

Her eyes softened, though there was still a playfulness in her gaze. "How much have you had to drink, darling?" she asked, her voice low and teasing as she casually slid your glass from your hand and set it aside, taking money out of her pocket.

“You don’t have to- i have money” You protest, not wanting her to waste hers, but of-course she refuses.

She raised an eyebrow, studying you for a moment. "You good to stand up?"

You blinked, disoriented. "Yeah, sure. Where are we going?"

You tried to stand, but the room swayed beneath you. Just as your knees threatened to buckle, Wanda’s arms slid around your waist, steadying you, her touch firm and warm.

You look up at her as a red blush creeps onto your face. you clear your throat, “thank you”

“You’re really cute when you’re shy, did you know that?” She helps you to your feet, before using her arms around your waist to guide you outside.

“wait- Kate-“ You start to turn around right at the door but Wanda stops you, “i already Called Yelena, she’ll be here any minute, it’s okay” she reassures you.

“oh- okay” You mumble as you follow her lead, outside the door. The cold reaches you immediately, your first instinct being to lean into her warmth, resting your head on her shoulder.

You finally reach Wanda’s car, your head still spinning, but a but better than before.

She helped you into the passenger seat, her hands brushing yours as she fastened your seatbelt. For a moment, the world felt like it was slowing down—the soft scent of her perfume, the way she seemed to be in perfect control, her gaze flicking over you with something unreadable. The closeness of her body, the soft brush of her fingers against your skin...

As she straightened, your eyes locked for just a second, and in that moment, the rest of the world fell away. You couldn't help it. You leaned in, your lips almost brushing hers.

But then she pulled away, her breath warm against your cheek. You blinked, frustrated, and mumbled something incoherent.

"You’re not sober, love," Wanda’s voice was gentle.

She sits down next to you. “C’mon, drink up” she says, giving you a cold bottle of water, which you down in seconds. You lean back into the seat as she starts driving.

You leaned your head back against the seat, trying to will the drunken fog away, but your thoughts kept circling back to her—her touch, the look in her eyes, the way she made you feel like you were the only person in the room. you let your eyes rest for a second, savoring the feeling of being with her.

Next thing you knew, Wanda was helping you out of the car, “Do you feel better, Love?” She asks softly. “Yeah, thank you” You mumble out, embarrassed, The embarrassment of your earlier behavior clawed at you. “I’m sorry i ruined your night,” You apologized, opening the door, and called the Elevator. “What do you mean?” She asks with a confused tone, leaning against the elevator Frame.

“You probably went there to unwind or- have fun-” you start rumbling, the drunken feeling still slightly there. before you could continue you were interrupted with a chuckle coming from Wanda, “What- What’s so funny!” You ask with a pout, frustrated. “You don’t remember texting me?” She asks as your face warms up, “i- what?” you felt dumbfounded, did you text her something weird? Something embarrassi— “You texted me to come and get you because you missed me” She snaps you out of your thoughts with a soft giggle, before heading into the Elevator, dragging you with her, her hand still protectively around your waist, just in case.

“Fuck” You sigh, covering your face with your hands, leaning back on the elevator door. you feel her footsteps getting closer to you, her rough hands grabbing on to yours, pulling them away, revealing your flushed face.

“I’m sorry” You apologize, finally looking her in the eyes. “You don’t have anything to apologize for, Darling.”

After a moment of silence, the elevator dinged, announcing your arrival at your floor. Wanda's hand slid down to intertwine with yours, her touch both grounding and electrifying. "Come on," she murmured, leading you toward your apartment.

You followed her, the world around you fading into the background. All that mattered was the warmth of her hand in yours and the way her presence seemed to anchor you in ways you didn’t fully understand yet.

Once inside, you kicked off your shoes, swaying slightly. Wanda’s hands were immediately on your shoulders, steadying you again. "Alright, sit," she instructed, guiding you to the couch. Her tone left no room for argument, but there was a tenderness in her voice that made you comply without hesitation.

She comes back with a cup of water and aspirin “Take these” she said softly, crouching in front of you and placing the items on the coffee table. Her green eyes met yours. “You know you don’t have to do this, right?”

“Of course i do” she says.

You hadn't even realized how much you craved this—her attention, her care, the way she made everything feel right. You could feel the tension in your chest loosening with each breath.

Wanda sat beside you, her eyes focused on you as you slowly took the water and aspirin she had handed you. The cool liquid slid down your throat, soothing the remnants of the whiskey’s burn. You felt her gaze on you, not judgmental, but understanding. She wasn't in a rush. She wasn't going anywhere.

You shifted on the couch, your hands feeling oddly restless, unsure whether you wanted to speak or just keep your thoughts to yourself. But the silence hung between you like an unspoken question, a question you knew you couldn't avoid forever.

“Wanda...” You started, your voice quieter than you intended. “I’ve been… I’ve been thinking a lot. About all of this.

Her eyes softened, and she shifted closer, the warmth of her body radiating against yours. She didn’t interrupt you, didn’t push you to speak faster.

“I—” You stopped, unsure how to voice the storm of emotions swirling in your chest. You knew what you were about to say, what you needed to say, but the words didn’t come easily. You took a deep breath, steadying yourself. “You make me feel... alive, Wanda. In a way that I never expected. And I—I don’t know how to say it, but…”

You trailed off, letting the silence hang between you as you gathered your courage. The weight of the decision was pressing down on you, and at that moment, it felt like your heart was demanding you make a choice.

Her hand found yours again, her thumb gently brushing across your knuckles, grounding you. “You don’t have to have all the answers right now, love,” she murmured, her voice so soft it was almost a whisper. “But I’m here, no matter what.”

The words felt like a lifeline, and it was like the final piece of the puzzle clicked into place. You didn’t need to explain everything, to find the perfect words. What mattered now was the quiet truth that had been sitting in your heart all along.

Wanda was the one you wanted. She was the one who made you feel safe, and seen, in ways that Natasha couldn’t. It wasn’t that Natasha wasn’t incredible—she was—but it was Wanda’s presence that soothed you, that made everything else feel right.

You squeezed her hand, your heart racing now, the decision clearer than it had been before. “I think... I think I’ve known for a while now,” you said softly, looking directly into her eyes. “I just needed to admit it.”

Wanda tilted her head slightly, studying you with those knowing green eyes. You could see the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of her lips, but she said nothing, waiting.

“I choose you, Wanda. I’ve been scared to admit it,” you whispered, your voice trembling a little. “But I choose you.”

For a moment, she didn’t say anything, just watched you with an intensity that felt like she could see every thought and feeling you were hiding. Then, her lips parted in a soft smile, the kind of smile that felt like home.

“I’m glad,” she said quietly, her voice full of warmth. And just like that, the tension that had been gnawing at you for days melted away. Wanda leaned in then, her forehead gently resting against yours, her breath warm and comforting. “You don’t need to be afraid with me,” she murmured.

You closed your eyes for a moment, basking in the simplicity of the moment—the clarity, the relief, the way it felt like everything was finally falling into place.

“Thank you,” you whispered, the words barely escaping your lips before her hands were cupping your face, drawing you closer, her lips brushing against your forehead.

“Don’t thank me,” she whispered back. “Just... trust me, love.”

And in that moment, you realized you didn’t need to say anything else. You trusted her. You trusted her with everything.

And that was enough.

[saddled-on-stars]

Hey! So for some reason your ask was deleted somehow?? It disappeared from my drafts?! But anyways, here you go lovely <3 @habitabel asked: please write Keatlejuice gifting reader stuffed animals please 🙏 and then listening to reader ramble on about the names, backstories, and how they got the stuffed animals they already have ty 🫶 I’m sorry that this one took me so long!! I hope you enjoy it!!

Happy reading! - Star ★

-★-★-★-★-★-★-★- Trigger Warnings: Explicit Language, Suggestive Themes -★-★-★-★-★-★-★- Key: ★ (Y/N) = Your Name ★ (L/N) = Last Name -★-★-★-★-★-★-★- Requested by: @habitabel (THANK YOU FOR BEING SO PATIENT WITH ME, I'm sorry that this took so long 😭🙏) -★-★-★-★-★-★-★-

- ★ - Stuffing Stories - ★ -

It’s 3AM, and the only sounds in the room are of your own groaning, and the pillows shuffling along your bed. You can’t sleep due to the constant negative thoughts running through your brain, at a million miles a minute.

The day was going great—work was it’s typical busy, but you don’t mind, and you even had a lighthearted chat with your coworker about your shared love for old sitcoms. But then came the side-eyed comment about your ‘Unwilling Service’ from someone who didn’t even know you, and how much it got into your head. You were just trying to answer their question, which was unbelievably bizarre. They asked something about how to get to the park that was thirty minutes away. Hell, you didn’t even know the place existed, and you didn’t work for a directory station.

You are already practically on edge as you walk through your apartment door. Dinner is an afterthought, the thought of eating even something small, sounding like too much of a task. And though you try distracting yourself with a movie, The Exorcist, obviously, the restless energy refuses to fade.

It isn't just today, though. Sleep had been a problem for weeks, a relentless cycle of tossing and turning that left you staring at the ceiling, wondering why you just couldn’t sleep. Tonight is no different. The clock ticked past midnight, then 1AM, now 2AM, each passing minute a reminder that tomorrow would be another day of exhaustion.

Your chest grows tight, your breathing shallower than you’ve experienced, in a LONG time for that matter. The usual distraction techniques aren’t working. Counting sheep, breathing exercises, even scrolling through your phone—all useless.

You pull the covers over your head, but the heaviness of the day’s events looms large. That offhand comment from earlier—’unwilling service…’ Did they mean lazy? Disinterested? Were they secretly annoyed with you? Did everyone at work feel that way? Was it the same with your friends?

The spiraling thoughts claw their way deeper. You clench your fists, nails digging into your palms. You hadn’t meant to start tossing and turning, the pillows shuffling deeper.

"Fuck, what is wrong with me?" you mutter under your breath.

With a shaky breath, you sat up, rubbing your eyes. The weight in your chest hadn’t gone away, but you knew someone who’d make it bearable.

"Beetlejuice," you whispered, voice cracking. "Beetlejuice... Beetlejuice."

The flash of green and black in the corner of the room becomes bright with flair, causing his entrance to be as grand as ever. "It's showtime-”, he begins, but the second he takes one look at you, his demeanor shifts.

“Whoa, whoa. Babes? Fuckin’ hell, you okay?” he says, eyebrows furrowing as he notices your trembling hands and red-puffed eyes, shaking his head as he curses himself for not being there sooner. He’s by your side in an instant, sittiing on the bed with a mix of concern and determination.

“C’mere,” he mutters, pulling you close. His arms wrapped tightly around you, his striped blazer soft against your cheek. “Talk to me, Babes. What’s going on?”

You want to answer, but the lump in your throat won’t let you. Instead, you bury your face into his shoulder, your breaths uneven.

Beej doesn’t press. He doesn’t ask questions. He just shifts back against the headboard, tucking you against his chest, one hand rubbing soothing circles on your back.

“I’ve got you,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Whatever it is, you don’t have to carry it by yourself, okay? I’m here.”

The familiar rasp in his voice, usually cocky and teasing, was softer now, filled with a warmth you didn’t know you needed.

As you start to calm down, the sound of his voice keeps you grounded. “You know what you need, Babes?” he said, pulling back slightly to look at you with a small grin. “Some quality cuddle therapy... and maybe a new friend. One sec.”

Before you could protest, he vanishes with a poof, leaving you in a sense of longing, wondering where he’s gone. Only for him to reappear quickly, holding something behind his back.

“Ta-da!” He reveals a small stuffed bat with button eyes and a goofy grin. It’s actually quite cute, and it’s got a lot of character, it seems. He chuckles, and holds up the little creature, “Meet, uh... Flappy. Thought you might like him.”

The absurdity, yet adoration, of the name makes you laugh, a weak but genuine sound that seems to lift the tension in the room.

“Flappy, huh?” you say, gently taking the plushie in your hands. “What’s he doing here?”

“Oh, you know. He’s a night owl. Bit of a chatterbox. Thinks you’re the coolest guy around.”, Beej says with a large grin.

You smile, turning the toy over in your hands. “Guess he can join the others.”

Beej’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Wait, you’ve got others? Babes, you’ve been holding out on me.”

And just like that, the weight in your chest eases, feeling the utter excitement of getting to share your wholesome obsessions over your stuffed animals, each one having a characterized personality of its own. You find yourself rambling about your collection—each stuffed animal, its backstory, how you’d gotten it.

Beej listens intently, actually seeming interested in what you have to say, throwing in the occasional quip, but mostly just letting you talk.

“And this one’s name is Gemini! My friend named her, since it’s her zodiac sign, but she’s a little fruit bat, who was an orphan from the time she was a baby! She got adopted by a bunch of normal bats, who accepted her into her family, and when she grew up, she went to explore the world!”, you exclaim happily to Beej.

Beej nods with excitement, “Woah, Babes! I had no idea how much you knew about these little guys.”, he says with a joking tone and a wink.

You feel the heat rising to your cheeks, as you blush. “Sorry, I don’t mean to bore you with these little guy-”, but you’re quickly cut off.

Beej’s lips are softly pressed against yours, his eyes closed, as your eyes flutter to do the same. You wonder what made him want to do this, but you’re too shocked to care.

He pulls back slightly to look in your eyes, chuckling softly. “Do not EVER apologize for that, Babes. I think hearing about them is very sweet to hear from you. And besides, what kind of demon would love you if they didn’t hear about your little stories?”, he asks with a smile.

Your face is surely entirely red now. What did he say?

“W-What did you just say?”, you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

His black-circled eyes soften as he gazes at yours, “I love you.”, he says in a whispered tone, his gaze flickering to your lips.

Your gaze follows to his own lips, as you softly whisper back, “I love you too.”. You lean closer slowly, closing the space once again.

Out of all the backstories that you’ve shared tonight, this one will always be your favorite.

- ★ - Written By Saddled_On_Stars - ★ -

[a-star-that-burns-brightly]

so gang....there's this historian...who's only had approximately 21 minutes of screentime...

unhinged rambling over a fictional character under the cut

I have always loved ulysses ever since the prologue came out back in december 2022, but after my recent rewatch in preparation for chapter 1 coming out later this year, my interest in his character has sparked into a full-blown hyperfixation??? it feels like ulysses wilhelm was designed specifically for me I'm going to be so honest. like, there's the surface level being that he's a boyfailure twink and that kind of character always seems to attract me, but everything else about his character from his design, his personality, his voice, the little aspects of him like the fact that him specifically noting down classmate birthdays and him updating a common phrase to sound more modern shows a genuine desire to connect with his class despite his clear social ineptitude, and also just...him having knowledge about the internet enough to know about internet arguments despite disliking computers?? silly ass. I've also like, never really seriously headcannoned a character with a mental disorder before, even ones that I have myself, but I am actually being so serious when I say that ulysses is literally just my inattentive adhd manifested into a person. I have not felt so represented in so long, and its by a character who doesn't even canonically have it, and I think its very special and a testament to how talented the writing crew behind p:eg is that they can make me feel that or anything I'm typing in this post despite, again, this character only being on screen for 21 minutes he is literally just me in every single way possible, actually. we literally even have the same birthday. I'm not a supernatural person, but like..I think me saying that this character was made for me might not be hyperbole after all. ...he's also just so fucking cute. Can I say that?? LOOK at this fucker??

his slightly scruffy hair that looks like he just woke up from one of his naps, his small but silly little smile, his dumb eyebags, his fucking VOICE, his lame as fuck sense of humor, his sprites, his dumbass sleepy noises, the fact that he's the shortest out of all the male characters, his everything?? I want to be his friend and listen to him yap about history, and I also want to make out with him sloppy style. I am sleepy all the time but he is sleepier, which means I can spoon him. I'd imagine his lifestyle of constantly being in his office doesnt really lend itself well to him receiving affection. he is probably very touch-starved... what if he encountered my persona. would he initially think the lack of sleep has finally caused him to hallucinate, considering I doubt you see slutty demons with big wings in real life. when he finally realizes that I am actually there, would he be fascinated at the sight of such a nonhuman creature being right in front of him? a new piece of history he has yet to discover? what if we become best friends. what if we become best boyfriends. my brain is moving at 200 miles an hour and I cannot stop it, I need him so fucking bad. if you have read this far, I'm not sorry and I'm not ashamed for my actions. except if you happen to be doctor pap (ulysses' va), in which case I politely ask you that you forget everything I have said today. thanks for reading

[future-crab]

requesting a rant about that sweeney todd song 👀

Ooh thank you!

So. Johanna Quartet (which I spelled wrong in my post. Sorry, Johanna.) and why it slaps.

The first thing that deserves a mention is that it’s just absolutely beautiful. I don’t know anything about music theory, so I won’t try to break that element down, but if you haven’t, I’d really recommend giving it a listen. The 2023 revival cast version is excellent imo.

The part I mainly want to talk about is Sweeney’s verses, cause I think they’re really interesting. It’s (arguably) the most introspective we ever see him in the show, and it is (arguably) both the point in the tragedy when it becomes clear that it’s too late for things to turn out well, and the false high where it seems like things might work out.

Like, the beginning of the song makes it pretty clear that at this point, he has become the person he most hates. With his possessiveness over Johanna (“my little lamb, my pet” and all that) and the incestuous overtones in lines like, “And are you beautiful and pale, with yellow hair, like her? I’d want you beautiful and pale, the way I dreamed you were, Johanna” it’s laid bare for the audience that there is no difference, really, between him and Judge Turpin anymore. They both just want to own this woman, because she’s beautiful and reminds them of her mother.

But then the last couple verses come in, and we’re given a tantalizing glimpse at the possibility of character growth with lines like, “And though I’ll think of you I guess until the day I die, I think I miss you less and less as every day goes by, Johanna.” From the second he walked onstage, he’s been single-minded in his focus on his grief and revenge, but in this incongruously honest moment, he’s admitting that he could move on.

And then! And then!!! For (to my memory) the first and only time in the show, he actually acknowledges that his fantasy of getting Johanna back is flawed. Like, earlier he doubted that it would happen (“And I’ll never see Johanna, no I’ll never hug my girl to me,” “I think we shall not meet again, my little dove, my sweet Johanna,” etc) but this is the first time he acknowledges that if it did, it wouldn’t make him happy. “And you’d be beautiful and pale, and look too much like her.” Getting Johanna back would just remind him of everything else he’s lost. There is no going back.

And his last line in the song encapsulates this contradiction – “Wake up, Johanna, another bright red day. We learn, Johanna, to say goodbye.” On the surface it seems like more character growth – he’s going to learn to let go of the past! – but the fact that he can’t help but address this statement to Johanna is a sign that he’s still too deep in his obsession. You get the sense, even at this point where he’s the closest he’s ever gotten acknowledging his fatal flaw, that it’s far too late.

Also probably worth mentioning that the entire time he’s going through all this introspection, he’s just. Slitting people’s throats. Just the whole time.

[nachobsns]

Hello - I was impressed and extremely relieved by what you wrote in the post about the cult mentality of the Left RE Israel and accusations of genocide. You mentioned that you bought into the mindset until recently. If it's all right for me to ask, what was it that helped you break out of it? (Please feel free to delete/ignore if you'd rather not answer!)

thank you!! and no worries about asking— i think i put something in my pinned post about how people are welcome to send asks about this stuff, although my story isn’t super interesting. i fell down the typical online rabbithole, a couple weeks after october 7; i knew what had happened, at least vaguely, but the posts trickling onto my dash were all about the (undeniably tragic) loss of life in gaza, with little to no acknowledgment of the hamas atrocities that had started the war, so my narrative was pretty one-sided from the beginning. it just continued to snowball as the months went on and people became more radicalized, calling into question the reality of the 10/7 attacks and the humanity of all israelis. i never went all the way down the pipeline to full-on endorsing hamas or justifying their attacks, at least on a personal level, thank god, but i would reblog other people’s posts referring to hamas as a “resistance movement” and calls to boycott starbucks and mcdonald’s and condemnation of the “zionist media” etc etc etc. what pulled me out of it wasn’t any one thing— if someone had directly called me on my flawed logic and antisemitic biases while i was in this mindset, i doubt it would have done much, just reinforced my belief that i was on the “right side of history” and zionists were aggressors who couldn’t be reasoned with. it was mostly just passive observance and a slow exposure to other perspectives. i’m pretty sure the first post that led me to question my thinking was an ask on jewish-vents, which popped up on my dash in like, late july. this led me down another rabbithole, first scouring every single post on jewish-vents, then moving on to more popular jewish blogs that i had seen on “zionist blocklists” (applesauce42069, xclowniex, and spacelazarwolf were probably some of the blogs that influenced me the most, though i told myself i was just hate-scrolling at first, lol). i felt incredibly guilty seeing all the harm the movement i was a part of had caused to random jews and israelis just trying to live their lives and i realized how it went against everything i believed about how minority groups should be treated. from there, the aspect of actually undoing my thinking and changing my behavior for the better still took several weeks. denial of jewish indigenity to the levant in the face of tantamount archeological and cultural evidence was the first to go, as well as any ambiguity in my feelings about hamas. after that, it’s mostly been a slow process of redefining the idf’s actions from a “genocide” to a “war.” i still believe that what’s happening in gaza is unconscionable and horrific, and that too many innocent civilians have died, but i also understand how difficult it is to fight against a terrorist group that systematically embeds itself in civilian populations, and that the ratio of militant to civilian deaths is incredibly low compared to most urban warfare. i quietly deleted my old blog in early august— if i had directly engaged in harassment against jews, i likely would have kept it to make amends to the harmed parties and put a face to my actions, but as was, i had just contributed to the larger atmosphere of antisemitism on this site, and i felt uncomfortable knowing that i had a blog full of sentiments that no longer matched my values and beliefs. i decided i would be better if i took my endorsement out of the equation entirely, because when you’re looking through the notes of a post, it obviously doesn’t matter if someone who’s reblogged it no longer agrees with what was said— their notes still count as tacit approval, and i did not want approval of this “activism” attached to my online presence. i still have unwanted kneejerk reactions that crop up sometimes, particularly around the fundraiser posts from people “in gaza”; even though i know logically that they have all the markers of scams, there is still a part of me that really wants to believe i could help.

[bloobydabloob]

Holy shit I love your Dirk interpretations, it's so true and I could talk about this shit forever. I feel like another part of his character that people seem to forget (along with Roxy for some reason) is that he's from the future in solitude in an apocalyptic wasteland. I just see that part of his character always removed which is disappointing because I feel like that's a pretty big part, especially regarding his themes around technology, his brother's theme of Time, his own isolation, and how he plays in the vastness of the universe and spacetime.

Art I drew related to the subject because I like to respond to asks with art.

But absolutely. I certainly understand where the lack of discussion over his isolation + upbringing comes from, considering a majority of the fanbase that I have seen builds their ideas based on their own version of postcanon. I’m not entirely sure how that would be fixed, but certainly even in the somewhat recent past I would see a lot more content regarding his upbringing both literally and symbolically. I don’t have much to add regarding the things you’ve mentioned, because they just are what they are. Dirk being confined to a singular room left to him by a father figure he never met, in a future where the only other person left on the planet is someone he cannot pursue a relationship of because of himself, with purely 3 robots to keep him companion, one being an exact replica of his own brain who is *also* trapped inside a pair of glasses, is about as literal as it gets to me.

The contrast to me involving the flooded, organic world in comparison to the little speckle of Dirk’s apartment packed with the dude and his technics is not only a representation of his isolation and entrapment within himself, but also of his lack of control. I think his obsession with & themes of control are a direct product in the case of Dirk specifically *of* this kind of upbringing. His themes of technology are also related to his themes around control. So much of his character is actually revolved around this to me like so much. Dirk is so deeply disconnected from humanity in every way and so much of his character + symbolism is based around that.

It doesn’t even have to be about the symbolism or anything though. It’s just pretty *interesting* in the literal sense that he lives in the middle of the ocean in the future. There’s not only a lot to theorise on to do with his young life there, but on how it might affect him in the way he acts for the rest of his life. The latter part is probably what I see mentioned the most by people talking about Dirk regarding this, I’m surprised I don’t see more discussion on the former too though. I really ought to actually talk more about Homestuck stuff on here. I will do it myself.

Roxy & Dirk’s relationship is largely ignored though because there is a narrative a certain demographic spreads that Dirk resented and blamed Roxy for her interest in him, and thus too many people believe that their relationship was or would continue to be an abusive one. Realistically, I believe it’s important to acknowledge that the way Roxy treated Dirk regarding his homosexuality wasn’t right while still acknowledging the obvious amount of respect and admiration Dirk had for Roxy. I mean we have a huge piece of dialogue from their post trickster mode conversations on the quest beds from Dirk purely stating how he feels about Roxy that people completely ignore somehow. I think this usually happens to characters that are women though. I know everyone says it, but it is true. Jane gets the exact same treatment of boiling her down to solely her negative aspects. The things I see completely mischaracterising both of them are horrific.

I mean how much more explicit can it get that their relationship is obviously very important to Dirk? But I digress. I think the best or I should say “most interesting” interpretations of their relationship usually come from DirkRoxy shippers actually.

I would be interested to hear about Dirk’s relation to his brother’s theme of time though. I don’t have any thoughts on this and I don’t recall ever hearing anyone talk about it before. If you or anyone else would be willing to enlighten me I’d be thrilled.

[leslutdepointedulac]

TELL ME ABOUT LOUSTAT MISSING SCENE PLEASE PLEASE

Omg gladly!! 🥹 It's about something that I think about often and that's the missing scene from Merrick when Lestat gives Louis more of his blood after reviving him. Being that Merrick is from David's pov obviously, we never get to see that bit between Louis and Lestat because David leaves the room. But it seems like such a vital point in Louis and Lestat's relationship.

Lestat wakes up from a several year long coma to find that his lover has died by suicide. Once he's revived him, surely he would have questions. The main one being simply 'Why?' Why would Louis be driven to such a thing?

And I think that Louis would have things he'd want to say to Lestat about his time alone, waiting for him to wake up.

Overall, as well as being a pivotal moment for Louis (getting a major power boost), it's also a vital point in his relationship with Lestat imo. There are many things they have to say to each other after being apart for so long, so to speak, as well as talking about Louis' suicide specifically.

Idk, I just wanted to explore that moment between them because it feels important to them. Louis needs more blood, sure but they also needed to talk. I imagine that emotions were running very high; they were both hurt but also relieved to have each other again. I think their emotions were all over the place, one minute they don't know what to say to one another, the next they're pointing fingers and placing blame and excuses for why certain things happened, then the storm passes and they hold each other tight before Lestat gives his blood to Louis.

There are many missing scenes that I'd love to explore more but this one stands out to me and like I said, I think about it a lot so it made sense to go with this one.

[relaxxattack]

Hi i want to thank you for the QPR vs Moirail venn diagram. Its a rly excellent way of showing the difference. My gripe is about human romance, and how people will either 1- conflate it in a 1:1 ratio with Matesprit, or 2- claim it is “all the quadrants”. I personally feel both are false equivalency, and that the human romance is similar to both pale and red rom* and SO i was wondering if you agreed w that assessment, or if not, if you have the time to explain your thoughts on human traditional romance vs the quadrants (perhaps w another nifty graph)?

* which is why Rose’s destructive tendencies during sburb & her descent into addiction on the meteor were not addressed by kanaya, who feared palezoning herself like she did with vriska

OH MY GOD! YES!!!! why am i getting such great asks today?!

no, you're EXACTLY right. people are constantly conflating matespritship in those two ways; "all of the quadrants" being especially irritating (since Some humans occasionally argue, Occasionally in a kinky way, and i guess that means that they totally have all of kismesissitude covered?? :/).

matespritship is its very own thing. of the two interpretations above, i feel the idea that it's 1:1 to human romance is the closest to true. i mean, that's what they literally say in the comic, for gog's sake.

humans do not truly incorporate moirallegiance, kismesissitude, or auspisticism into their lives in any meaningful way. while it's possible for humans to sometimes have romances that might seem more like one of those than matespritship, they're considered abnormal or toxic-- and they often ARE, because humans do not have the same sort of biological drives or social understanding of these things that trolls do. humans do not understand the true needs and ramifications, or even the ROMANCE of moirallegiance. humans would be hard pressed to understand a kismesissitude in a 'healthy' way. i don't even need to mention how auspisticism flies over people's heads.

so, yes, humans only have the one quadrant. (and karkat vantas, i am sorry to say, is not going to "human date" anyone as the "solution to his quadrant problems". this would literally be the same as him trying to stick only to matespritship, and we all know exactly how that turned out.)

however! matespritship is not an exact 1:1 on human romance either. the direct quote from the comic is;

"[It's] the closest parallel to the human concept of romance trolls have." [x]

this is not really expanded on much in the text, honestly-- the intricacies of the social and biological traits of matespritship aren't shown enough for us to draw clear distinctions between them and human romance.

however, i think you're right that rose and kanaya are the best example we have of that-- despite them both aiming for matespritship, they have cultural misunderstanding quite often from some of rose's flirting, or even just her needs, crossing wires into a pale threshold that kanaya is weary of.

it's entirely possible that the differences between troll and human "hearts" might have made it difficult for kanaya to really connect with rose's problems and discuss them with her.

which might explain why when things go "better" for them in the retcon, they're portrayed reading a book on troll romance together:

it could be implied here that searching for a more in-depth understanding of quadrants actually helped rose with her ability to connect to kanaya-- and maybe, reading into it a little too hard here, this also could have been an opportunity for kanaya to work through her vriska-based hangups with the pale quadrant. that's entirely speculation on my part, though.

at the end of the day, we don't really KNOW enough about the details of quadrants for me to paint a clear picture of how matespritship differs from human romance. i mean, i could try, but it would certainly be more of a headcanon post than an analysis one!

[faithtrickedhope]

hi! do you have any thoughts on athena's dynamics with telemachus and odysseus? because i have We'll Be Fine playing on loop in my head. and i think the differences and similarities between those two friendships are really interesting, so i'd love to hear any thoughts you have on them! :)

bee hii !! thank you for the ask !!

i definitely agree - athena’s dynamics with odysseus and telemachus are super interesting, especially in the ways that they parallel and contrast each other - i’ll try my best to unpack all my feelings coherently.  ��

so, okay, looking at athena-odysseus first. odysseus clearly looks up to athena. i mean, he’s a mortal man and she’s a goddess. that’s a pretty big deal. but right forn the start we see that odysseus is very causal around gods? i mean, he tricks athena into revealing herself to him, he’s obviously comfortable with mingling with the gods - or at least he’s comfortable with her.

(we see this reflected in telemachus, who almost immediately refers to athena as his friend when they meet, but i’ll get to that more later. already a similarity, though).   

to add to to this, we can see odysseus relatively relaxed and causal nature around athena best encapsulated when he says: 

Sounds like a plan Goddess and man Bestest of friends

this furthers the idea that he is very comfortable around her, while also showing that he doesacknowledge the divide between god and mortal, but seems to see it as something to bridge, rather than fear. odysseus has a very positive outlook about their relationship going forwards, and is quick to follow along with athena’s teachings, as signified in the musical by him joining in with her on the second chorus. 

athena, though, she doesn’t share this same view of their dynamic. before odysseus’ above line she says:

If you're looking for a mentor, I'll make sure your time's well spent

this is a mentor-protege dynamic to her, much more than it is a friendship. she also remakes how they’ll “see how it ends” when he suggests them becoming friends. friendship is not a priority for her, not a too priority at least. but, i don’t think that means she doesn’t care about odysseus. quite the contrary, honestly. being his mentor is very important to her. she wants to “change the world” with him. that’s something. that’s not a thing you do with just anyone. 

(putting the rest under the cut because, oops, this got quite long).

i think she did care about odysseus, right from when they met. it’s just that her way of expressing that was a sort of “tough love” approach, which doesn’t always bode well for friendships. but with the release of god games and the revelation of what athena’s relationship with zeus, her father, is like, i think it becomes more apparent why she holds the opinion that a healthy dynamic between two people (be it god and god, or god and mortal) revolves around pride and strength. she wants to shape odysseus into a great warrior, because she saw potential within him when he fought the bore. she wants to reach into his soul and pull out all the parts that make him a great man. all the parts that will keep him alive. 

if the god games are zeus’ attempt to set his daughter on the “right” path, athena’s goodbye to odysseus is her attempt at doing that with him. and, okay, it’s hard not to look at my goodbye when talking about these two. so, odysseus says—

I’ll remind you, I saw you as a friend

where athena laments that—

You’re not looking for a mentor I’m not looking for a friend 

and this sort of encapsulates the whole dynamics that i’ve being trying to capture. odysseus saw this as a friendship, athena saw it as mentorship. and the thing is, the fact that they did get on so well up until this point - the fact they managed to build such a tight bond as a goddess and a mortal- it shows their separate detentions of what their relationship is are kind of the same. i mean, okay, not literally, friendship and mentorship aren’t the same thing. but they clearly both wanted something from the other, and wanted to give something to the other, and they were achieving that. they had a bond. they cared. 

it’s just, athena is a goddess. and just as she warned, they couldn’t be “the bestest of friends”. because, as stated, her definition of what should come out of a meaningful relationship with someone (relationship in the platonic sense here) is heavily swayed by her father and the other gods. she is trying to make odysseus strong, she sees him leaving the cyclops alive (and then revealing his name) as a show of weakness. she cannot help him, then, because he has just damned himself, and in a way has just turned his back on her by ignoring her advice. gods are prideful, after all. it is a deep blow for someone to go against their will (cough cough. see zeus in god games.  cough). 

so they go their separate ways, they end things on pretty sour terms. and then a lot of years go by and a lot of things change. i’m going to leave these two for now, because i think a big aspect of their dynamic post-cyclops saga is best described in reference to athena and telemachus. 

speaking of which! let’s look at athena and telemachus. okay, so, like i mentioned before, a big similarly between their dynamic and athena-odysseus’ right off the bat is how comfortable telemachus is which athena almost immediately. you mentioned we’ll be fine, and i think that has the perfect example of this. because telemachus says:

You're my friend, I couldn't ask for more

there has been no verbal agreement between the two before this that their is any sort of friendship between them; but telemachus clearly believe strongly enough that they are friends, and - more pressingly - athena does not correct him. this shows then that while telemachus is so much like his father, athena has changed since meeting (and then leaving) odysseus. personally, i think part of this is because of odysseus. some of his last words to her were a staunch reminder that she is “alone”, and i think that hit her hard. i think that made her realise that they had been friends, she just hasn’t realised. and then she let that friendship crumble 

(athena also outright refers to odysseus as her friend when she’s lamenting about his to telemachus, which furthers the notion that she has had a change of heart and realises now - albeit too late - that they were friends. more on this in a bit). 

although athena is more accepting of her friendship with telemachus, she hasn’t fully lost her desire to be a mentor. little wolf is her helping telemachus to find his strength, helping him to fight. like odysseus with the boar, she sees his potential and she wants him to realise it. and like odysseus, telemachus takes this as a sign they they are (or could be, in odysseus case) friends. one difference here though is that the boar fight was orchestrated so athena could find a warrior worth her time. her helping telemachus is just that - she’s helping him. he asked for a sign and she showed up to show him his true strength. she wanted to help, rather than evaluate, i suppose. 

also, athena is generally very open with telemachus, and he responds with kindness. i imagine that she may had been a lot more reserved with odysseus, and maybe now has realised the detriments of that. it is also much more akin to a friendship dynamic that she is being so open, rather than sticking with the formalities of a strictly mentor-protege dynamic.  

but, okay, now we need to look at what athena tells telemachus about odysseus. this verse is especially telling:

Maybe if I'd made a different call Maybe if I hadn't missed it all Maybe he'd be fine Maybe we'd unwind Maybe if I help another soul Maybe if I helped you reach your goal Life could be that bright I could sleep at night

there is so much to say about this, but this post is already ridiculously long (sorry) so to sum it up - athena has had seven years to reflect on her time with odysseus, to reflect on their partings words to one another. we can see hear she’s clearly haunted by how things went, clearly wonders if it could have gone differently if she’d only treated him differently. and i think, her interaction with telemachus almost confirms that things could have gone better? because he’s so much like odysseus when she first met him, and it just reminds her how that relationship had started. comparing that to how things ended - how it haunts her now - as she laments to telemachus, it’s just a stark revelation that things could have, should have been handled better. i also believe that her whole interaction with telemachus and how he responds to it after as a sort of switch in her mind that she can still try to repair her relationship with odysseus. or, at the very least, she should see where he is

i think the line that sticks out to me most in relation to both dynamics is when athena tells telemachus:

You’re a good kid 

she does definitely mean it, but also i think in this moment this is something she’s saying to his son what she wishes she had told odysseus. he was her protege, her champion, but at his core he was just a kid. and he was a good kid, and a good friend would have let him know that. this is the biggest difference, then, between odysseus-athena and telemachus-athena - athena is letting telemachus know from the start that she appreciates him as more than just her student. 

athena’s arc in terms of her shifting mindset about friendship is best shown in god games. as mentioned before, the god games are like zeus way of testing his daughter and trying to force her back into the “right” (his) path. if athena was still the athena we see at the start of the musical, who values strength and pride over love, she would have been convinced by the other gods and given up. but she isn’t that same person anymore. 

she has been haunted by odysseus and changed by telemachus and now she is ready to fight for odysseus, not as a mentor but as a friend. she tells her father she is here for the sake of a friend, for the sake of a friendship. and even when the god king himself smites her, even when he tries to use brute force to get her to stand down, she still fights for odysseus.  

because he is her friend. 

i don’t know how well i actually answered this in regards to the similarities and differences - i sort of just went off on a ramble about the general dynamics between them - but i hope this at least answered your question somewhat! i love athena (shocker) and i think having her character progression shown through her friendships with a father and his son is so, so interesting. the three of them mean a lot to me 

[dykedvonte]

what do you think Danse does to keep himself busy after blind betrayal, specifically if he's living in sanctuary? I just love your takes on him a lot haha

I think Danse is very lost in any settlement but especially Sanctuary. It was the first and very close-knit at that with the small group the Sole Survivor founded it with. Each time they would invite a new companion to live there it was like adding a pillar to the community and represented what the Minute Men stood for when it came ot uniting and protecting the commonwealth as one. I am not going to say it's cliquey, in fact I feel like SoSu and Preston/Sturges would go out of their way to make newcomers feel welcome but for Danse that is very different.

He (from my playthrough experience) is one of the later companions. I ran around a lot and got a good portion of the companions and their quest before act one was done. He is also one of the few companions who openly thinks lowly of life in the commonwealth and certain citizens (if not all citizens to an extent). He did not introduce himself to Sanctuary to make friends or roots. So when he gets stuck there under the SoSu's "orders" (not letting him rot in sorrow in some random bunker) he doesn't have any comfort or companionship, in fact, I think he has more tensions and beef tbh.

I imagine the first weeks or even a month or two were rough. I don't think it is stated enough that like Danse went to that bunker intending to follow Brotherhood protocols and kill himself. SoSu may have convinced him not to in the moment but with someone like Danse, so rigid and stuck in an ideology even after it spits in his face, it's not unlikely he has a weird guilt about being alive at first. It doesn't help that I know in my heart that a few of the more petty or insensitive companions or settlers would tease him about it (playful meanness) thinking he was adjusting well (or not caring) to the Sanctuary life and coming to terms with his identity. Sometimes they go too far and it's easy to tell he's gotten back into the headspace, looking at his reflection, trying to remember concrete dates for his memories, etc..

I have this head canon that SoSu recognized this pattern as they had to have immense survivor's guilt (especially after being in Kellogs brain) about surviving the vault. They had the same idea about making things "fair" for the other vault dwellers and Shaun was the only thing between them and those thoughts for a while. For the first weeks it was a lot of SoSu monitoring him and making sure he was adjusting and not falling back into that thinking, y'know the whole "I am a disgrace and abomination against the Brotherhood and humanity. The only thing I can do to no longer sully the honor of either is to kill mys-" Like stopping that with minor distractions.

It would be a lot of small work and building projects and patrols for lost scavengers or to make sure no one is stalking the place. It's nice for him for a while, he's getting social interaction and he's not dead in the eyes of at least one Brotherhood member, especially one of as high rank as the SoSu. But it's also really unhealthy. Danse was trained and raised in a militaristic pseudo-religious faction. As much as there seemed to be casualness towards comrades there was a strict structure and order. He shoves the SoSu into that role and probably gets nick-named as their shadow during this period.

They are his only goal as he has nothing else and it shows bad. The rest of the settlement notices he trails after them and only really does his own thing when it's part of a task he was doing for, with or assigned by the Sole survivor. It's not an obsession with them specifically but he has lost his entire understanding of life and this is the one thing that stayed concrete. He does what he's asked of because following the Sole survivor has at least kept him belonging somewhere and why mess that up?

I am sure SoSu is not oblivious and is actively trying to figure out how to get Danse to start socializing and trying to actually settle into the community but for the time being Danse would treat himself like the machine he perceives himself as; Overworking himself as he believes machines don't need the same amount of rest, isolating himself and mostly trying to not have a mental breakdown every time he get into the power armor that is very much not his issued Brotherhood of Steel tech. He openly does this in respect of the General who hates it and makes everyone else uncomfortable.

this was very long just to say I think Danse just works himself to the bone all day and purposely puts thoughts in his already fragile psyche that everyone hates him and only tolerates his presence to not seem Synth-phobic and the Sole survivor's favor.

[crystallizsch]

Hello! I really like your art and comics with Jamil and your OC. It looks very cute!

I just want your thoughts on this as a Jamil lover. I really like Jamil but Idk why??? I like him so much that I cry whenever I don't get his card or daily greetings at login. He's not usually my type like Izuku or Tanjiro. Just want to know your thoughts since you like Jamil hehe. It's ok if you don't respond!

AAH THANK YOU SO MUCH it means a lot to hear you like them i really appreciate it!! 💖💕💖💕💖

ANYWAYS as a jamil enthusiast i ask myself that question too 🤠;;

dont know what kinda hypnotizing magic he did on me but it worked bc i was incredibly neutral about jamil when i first saw him and now he lives in my head rent-free

okay in all seriousness i ended up rambling about jamil and why i like him personally and it ended up longer than intended so uh proceed with caution under the cut 🧍

(i had to look up the characters you mentioned,,, i know both of the anime but BARELY know the characters so idk how to compare other than they seem to be the benevolent hero/protagonist type???) (so on that note theyre actual opposites??? of jamil 😭)

okay so for me i personally just find jamil’s character really fascinating (and relatable???)

like his character arc drew me in i think, i legit do not recall 100% how i started liking him bc he was NOT my usual type either

i saw him before book 4 and went “okay” 🤷 and moved on 😭

my usual type is kalim actually (the sunshine type with a depressing reason for being all sunshine-y lmao) but. i did not vibe at first with how kalim looks so i didnt really get attached to him either 🤧 (im absolutely fine with him now tho 😭 ive learned to appreciate him more thanks to other kalim enjoyers)

(and tbf a lot of twst characters i didnt think i would like but here we are)

back to jamil. alright maybe it’s his looks. maybe bc he’s a pretty guy idk. but if that’s the case i wouldve been all over vil bc he’s the definition of beautiful gorgeous guy who doesnt fw with gender norms but im NOT. instead it’s JAMIL.

i think it doesn’t help that aladdin is one of my favorite disney movies too 😭 jafar has that two-faced, manipulative disposition with a side of dramatic, and insane and that’s. actually just jamil.

so maybe i guess what drew me in with jamil is that sense of theatrics, the dramatics ;;; that dichotomy of having that level-headed, intelligent front he puts up but then also having this unhinged, unfiltered side that he shows when he is free to be more himself

i’m a sucker for seemingly calm and collected characters on the outside and then their true self being WAY more different and expressive

(i think this would make more sense if you’ve seen aladdin and if you remember how jafar is like in the movie) (i am also choosing to ignore that ONE scene with jafar and jasmine towards the end iykyk) (and the twst characters shouldnt be considered one-to-one with their disney counterparts anyway but i digress)

also scalding sands event my beloved it might be what actually sold me on him bc things like his little sister reveal and his childhood stories wrecked me

(also also i’m obsessed with his canon dynamic with kalim but that’s another thing altogether)

or maybe it’s not that deep and that i just grew attached for no particular reason 🧍 (and that reasoning in of itself should be completely fine as well if that’s your case! just. like who you like, there really doesnt have to be a reason as long as you enjoy them)

uhhhh in conclusion,,, jamil’s a really complex character tbh i could say so much more about his relatability but i feel like im already exposing myself a lot LMAO and i dont think i can properly articulate with words anyway how deeper his character is beyond my surface level thoughts

[amoneki-ramblings]

Also, your 'Amon stays in the CCG and works with Haise' AU is fantastic and should have been canon. Poor Amon misses Eyepatch terribly (he still has QUESTIONS damnit!) but doesn't want to get Haise (or Akira) in trouble, so he can't really say much, but he and Haise get suspicious of the CCG being corrupted. They investigate together, but they have to be discreet and they HATE IT, the CCG is supposed to represent justice! Inner!Kaneki drops hints and nags Haise in the background constantly.

YESSSSS GOD AMON AND HAISE NOT INTERACTING IN :RE WAS SUCH A MISSED OPPORTUNITY TO ME I WAS SO GENUINELY SURPRISED WHEN THEY NEVER DID

In the context of my AU I think Amon would feel so let down by the emergence of the Quinx project. He's spent all this time investigating the CCG's suspicious sides and almost uncovered what they were really aiming to do and then it just gets. Announced, just like that. That they're putting ghoul organs in people to use as weapons. It feels wrong. Everything clicks terribly into place. But he can't say anything. And Eyepatch is gone already (or so he Thinks) It all feels anti-climatic, somehow.

Then he meets this new investigator, who shakes his hand and greets him cheerily. He's being mentored by Akira. They are to treat him as a human unless he loses control, to which they'll treat him as a ghoul. It's Eyepatch. It's Haise Sasaki. Amon has to stomach the thought of both working with him and potentially having to "erase" him if he remembers who he is. He likes Haise, even if he's different from Eyepatch, but Haise might not be around forever, for one reason or another. He's never had to kill a co-worker or friend before. (I think, similar to Akira in canon :re Amon would be assigned a big role in leading squads when the CCG has to keep Haise under control. It only makes sense, he's done significant damage to him before, in half-kakuja form no less, and managed to escape this guy even without a weapon. And he's also like, one of the Only Guys who has ever killed a ghoul with his bare hands before.) Still though, the thought of killing Haise, whether it be with a quinque through the heart or the snap of a neck, is nauseating.

The CCG higher-ups are suspicious, obviously, because Amon is the only one who truly knows Everything about Eyepatch, and he might screw with Haise's memories. They're keeping an eye on him and make sure they don't get too close, unless Amon needs to confront Haise, since Haise, even when losing control, just can't seem to hurt him. Not really at least (if it ever does happen he feels So Guilty) ((Also sidenote but Haise probably visibly winces when he first meets Amon. His head hurts and he's not sure why. He feels melancholic and he doesn't know why. He feels a flood of relief. But he doesn't know why. He likes Amon a lot and wants to get to know him. The white-haired ghoul in his head seems particularly fixated on him, won't stop looking at him. Haise somehow knew Amon's name before he was even told what it was. He surmises that it's just because Amon is so well-known in general. (He knows, deep down, that it might be more than just that)))

Haise has small recollections of memories, but he can't tell anyone, obviously. Sometimes he has nightmares of flower fields and battles under the rain. When he and Amon get closer he tells him a little about them. "It's probably nothing" he laughs, unsure, but Amon knows what they really mean. He sees Eyepatch in Haise and it hurts terribly. He fears the chance that he'll never get to ask the questions he had, almost as much as he fears the chance that one day he suddenly will. The answers he's wanted for so long are so close that they are literally standing right next to him, yet they're so far.

As things move forward they definitely try to investigate and figure out the CCG's corrupt system together. But they have to be careful, on the outside co-workers (including Akira) make comments about how close they are and what a good team they make but within the inner-workings of the CCG they have their careful eyes on them. Maybe Akira's a little weary about it, tells Amon as such sometime and Amon says he knows (but there are things he can't tell even her.) Maybe one time Haise and Amon talk briefly, maybe after or during Haise losing control of himself and he says something and it sounds hauntingly like Eyepatch. Haise had looked at him differently during that moment. His voice sounded different. It was pained, but not in the physical sense. Maybe it wasn't Haise at all, actually.

Haise has a dream once about a man shouting asking him if he really is just a ghoul. Somehow he doesn't feel like it's for him. (But surely it means something to Kaneki Ken). Maybe, like in that comic I drew, Kaneki is incredibly relieved that Amon is alive, but also terribly jealous that all he can do is watch from the shadows LOL

Ough sorry I got SO carried away I've just been meaning to list out some of the details of my AU thoughts for AGES this has been living rent free in my mind for MONTHS it's one of my favorite thoughts Ever

It's insane, how many parallels are setup between Kaneki/Haise and Amon, yet Haise and Amon never meet once, even though Amon is foreshadowed constantly during :re. To be fair there is so much going on in :re already but still, man. Man,

[capn-twitchery]

hi this is @neathyingenue! your drawing of lt. grace and capt. twitchery was so dynamic and i would love to know more about their relationship if you'd like to share 👀

OHOHO rubs my hands together--you've activated my trap card >:3 (also thank you sm!! :D♥︎) SO-

short answer: their relationship is a complicated nightmare at best, and it changes a ton over time. they meet in weird circumstances, things stay weird for a long time, & they end up "together." what that means, i have no idea, bc i think they would die before they talked about it or said they were Actually Dating

long answer: they meet when twitch rescues a very nearly dead grace from the arctic. twitch thinks this poor guy looks very haunted, which is apparently interesting enough for them to reroute the entire ship so they have an extra couple months to hound him for secrets.

upon getting back to london, they want nothing more to do with eachother: twitch got all the secrets they could, grace wants to get far away from this weirdo, preferably as soon as possible, thanks

so they part ways, for a while. grace starts working with the constables (he thinks he can help people there. poor guy) they keep giving him the unwanted jobs: drag bodies back home, sort the paperwork, stand guard outside the cells because this new inmate is chatty and it's annoying everybody else and-oh, it's twitch. of course it is.

they get talking, since there's nothing else to do, and twitch is Very Persistent. they strike a deal: grace can use his connections to get twitch on the good side of the legal records, and in return, twitch will give him free zee trips when he needs it. twitch thinks this will be basically never, since grace has nothing going on, right? so they got the better end of this deal for sure-what do you mean he's on an unhinged revenge mission to murder a fucking master of the bazaar? oh, they have got to see this.

grace is too reluctant to zail himself, has no other contacts & doesn't know anything about the neath. twitch is his only real, consistent source, and they want to see & know everything about how it's going-- this is like the most interesting story in the world to them! so they're spending a lot of time together. a weird amount of time together, really, for two people who don't spend lots of time around any one person in particular.

and it's...kind of fun? sure, twitch is very unreliable, their weirdness is still offputting to grace, sometimes-- but less than it used to be. they're nicer than he gave them credit for, smarter, and their enthusiasm is infectious. and grace is very helpful, it turns out, and it's nice to have company in the captain's cabin, and making him smile instead of looking miserable all the time starts to feel kind of like an accomplishment, and- oh, no.

they both react to their feelings about as well as you would expect: ignore them! or in twitch's case, ask the ship's surgeon to surgically remove them (and get refused. cruel.) they both deny their feelings for a long time. it could never work anyway, right? they're far too different.

except, not really. grace later finishes nemesis, and after parting (somwhat bitterly) with twitch & a brief stint at the grand geode, he realises maybe the laws here fucking suck, actually--maybe he doesn't need to uphold them to help people. lucky for him, twitch has a hell of a rivalry with the admiralty & it's only a matter of time before they cross paths again. he deserts the admiralty in the midst of a naval battle, onto twitch's ship.

til i give either of them an ending, they stay together from that point--at least, as much as they want to. old habits die hard--twitch still likes zailing off to do weird shit, twitch is still a criminal, grace is very much not (more of a vigilante, i guess.) they still can't talk about what they are, they still clash sometimes. but they make it work! captain & (honorary) first mate.

(& twitch's crew breathe a sigh of relief. bc they've been waiting for their emotional brick wall of a captain to semi admit it for at least a year)

[loadinghellsing]

i wanna know more about the 1400-2000 au for andercard. sounds like 600 years of delicious mutual pining and repressed feelings to me

They met when they were kids, Anderson being younger then Alucard by two months and two inches taller.

Alexander's an orphan stowaway on the merchant ships, and Vlad the prince of Wallachia. They became close friends, Vlad helped him figure out how to get to Rome, with the promise that he'd visit when Wallachia is at peace. Shortly after Anderson left, Vlad was made prisoner of the Ottoman Empire.

About two decades later Vlad sends a request to the Vatican requesting for reinforcements. Even though Vlad's request was ignored by the church, Anderson hears about it and returns to Wallachia

The AU is roughly 550 years of Anderson pining and 425 years of Alucard pining (Alucard realized a century after his death)

Additional Note: Anderson has long hair for the first few centuries

(frequently has colorful ribbons and strings braided through it thanks to the kids in town)

[johnny-but-emo]

Draw something🫵‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

But fr tell me abt one of ur aus and we can make fanart of it to show off !!!!!!

YAY YIPPEE :D

ok, i have an au I haven’t talked about yet but it’s kinda underdeveloped so I’m gonna talk more about my ghost au :]

in case you haven’t seen/heard about it before, you can find the posts I’ve made for it here, here, and here! It’s basically a “what-if” scenario where giorno dies during the diavolo fight and becomes a ghost

I’ve already talked about giorno a lot, so I’m gonna share a tiny bit about mista and trish!

Since giorno isnt able to, mista becomes the boss of passione instead of him. Trish also stays to help out a bit more, but is still mostly uninvolved in the mafia side of things. PHF is also canon here, and fugo is in this au, but i haven’t put a whole lot of thought into how he fits into it 🥲 I do have some ideas for their designs, but I haven’t been able to sketch them out yet!

[that-was-anticlimactic]

"can you stay?" + atsushi & kyouka

"can you stay?"

atsushi's voice trembles as they speak, and kyouka freezes.

"nevermind."

atsushi laughs almost immediately, blinking away the impending tears and wavng their hands in front of them. "sorry. you don't... that was stupid of me to say. i'm-"

"stop apologizing."

kyouka slides beside them, curling up against their side. she head plops on their shoulder.

they're warm and shakey, and kyouka feels soft on atsushi's neck.

"i don't mind staying."

honestly, she wanted to stay. no matter how many times she watches atsushi - her sibling by everything but blood - get stabbed, the more she fears for them.

it's a little foolish, she knows; she's been familiar with blood and death and gore since her parents died. limbs being torn off and blood slowly oozing out of the body doesn't scare her.

but it does when she sees it happening to atsushi.

(and she doesn't say anything, but atsushi isn't the only one who gets nightmares - she's just better at keeping them quiet)

"you're just a kid..." atsushi mumbles, breaths shaky and uneven. "you shouldn't have to-to comfort me."

even so, kyouka soon feels the cool pads of their compression gloves rubbing her wrist.

"doesn't matter," she says, because she knows you're still a kid, too only upsets them more.

"okay."

they whisper it so quietly the only reasons kyouka hears it is because of her assassin training.

good.

she snuggles closer still and listens to their heartbeat. it starts off quick, but gradually falls until it's steady.

and kyouka is able to fall asleep with the reminder that her sibling is still alive.

(send me a sentence (+ a ship/character) and i'll write the next five sentences)