#and then tumblr decided there was an ~error~ processing my post

[nachobsns]

Hello - I was impressed and extremely relieved by what you wrote in the post about the cult mentality of the Left RE Israel and accusations of genocide. You mentioned that you bought into the mindset until recently. If it's all right for me to ask, what was it that helped you break out of it? (Please feel free to delete/ignore if you'd rather not answer!)

thank you!! and no worries about asking— i think i put something in my pinned post about how people are welcome to send asks about this stuff, although my story isn’t super interesting. i fell down the typical online rabbithole, a couple weeks after october 7; i knew what had happened, at least vaguely, but the posts trickling onto my dash were all about the (undeniably tragic) loss of life in gaza, with little to no acknowledgment of the hamas atrocities that had started the war, so my narrative was pretty one-sided from the beginning. it just continued to snowball as the months went on and people became more radicalized, calling into question the reality of the 10/7 attacks and the humanity of all israelis. i never went all the way down the pipeline to full-on endorsing hamas or justifying their attacks, at least on a personal level, thank god, but i would reblog other people’s posts referring to hamas as a “resistance movement” and calls to boycott starbucks and mcdonald’s and condemnation of the “zionist media” etc etc etc. what pulled me out of it wasn’t any one thing— if someone had directly called me on my flawed logic and antisemitic biases while i was in this mindset, i doubt it would have done much, just reinforced my belief that i was on the “right side of history” and zionists were aggressors who couldn’t be reasoned with. it was mostly just passive observance and a slow exposure to other perspectives. i’m pretty sure the first post that led me to question my thinking was an ask on jewish-vents, which popped up on my dash in like, late july. this led me down another rabbithole, first scouring every single post on jewish-vents, then moving on to more popular jewish blogs that i had seen on “zionist blocklists” (applesauce42069, xclowniex, and spacelazarwolf were probably some of the blogs that influenced me the most, though i told myself i was just hate-scrolling at first, lol). i felt incredibly guilty seeing all the harm the movement i was a part of had caused to random jews and israelis just trying to live their lives and i realized how it went against everything i believed about how minority groups should be treated. from there, the aspect of actually undoing my thinking and changing my behavior for the better still took several weeks. denial of jewish indigenity to the levant in the face of tantamount archeological and cultural evidence was the first to go, as well as any ambiguity in my feelings about hamas. after that, it’s mostly been a slow process of redefining the idf’s actions from a “genocide” to a “war.” i still believe that what’s happening in gaza is unconscionable and horrific, and that too many innocent civilians have died, but i also understand how difficult it is to fight against a terrorist group that systematically embeds itself in civilian populations, and that the ratio of militant to civilian deaths is incredibly low compared to most urban warfare. i quietly deleted my old blog in early august— if i had directly engaged in harassment against jews, i likely would have kept it to make amends to the harmed parties and put a face to my actions, but as was, i had just contributed to the larger atmosphere of antisemitism on this site, and i felt uncomfortable knowing that i had a blog full of sentiments that no longer matched my values and beliefs. i decided i would be better if i took my endorsement out of the equation entirely, because when you’re looking through the notes of a post, it obviously doesn’t matter if someone who’s reblogged it no longer agrees with what was said— their notes still count as tacit approval, and i did not want approval of this “activism” attached to my online presence. i still have unwanted kneejerk reactions that crop up sometimes, particularly around the fundraiser posts from people “in gaza”; even though i know logically that they have all the markers of scams, there is still a part of me that really wants to believe i could help.

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

...wow, i’m really about to give myself an Existential Crisis about my Existential Crisis book, huh??

[satxnsupreme666]

Even after all these years: Agatha Harkness/Agnes x Fem!Reader

Masterlist

Summary: You´re a witch, your mother was killed by witch-hunters and you end up in New Salem where you meet Agatha, you fall in love with her but what happens when the coven accuses her of practicing dark magic?

Words: 3000+

Warnings: Fem reader, angst (well kind of), but apart from that, I do not think there’s something else.

Author´s notes:

This was one of the first stories I wrote three years ago, I had posted them on Tumblr on my old account, but due to my mental health, I had to take a break from Tumblr and the toxicity and hate that had suddenly increased, I deleted all of my stories and my old account, now I have decided to upload them again here on Tumblr and also on Ao3.

Again, as this was one of the first stories I wrote for Agatha Harkness is a little bit short, I will be uploading the rest of the stories from time to time, I have to edit them and make sure they are legible enough and with not a lot of grammatical errors.

I hope you enjoy!

If you enjoy, could you comment, like or reblog? it would help a lot really ♥️

You were born in 1670, in Massachusetts, and as well as your mother, you were a witch.

While growing up, your mother taught you some basic spells that you could perform without any problem, you were just 6 years old and your mother said you held a lot of power, she was very proud that at such a young age, you could cast spells without making a lot of effort, it was so natural and easy for you.

You were always a curious child, so when your showed signs of wanting to know more, your mother started to teach everything else she knew, from making potions to different spells and to conjure stronger things, she was willing to show and teach you every single thing that she had learnt before.

From your usual spot at the table you always watched her make beverages, different creams, herbal potions and liquids all made out of herbs, she used them to help different people, she made potions that could disappear the effects of a poisoning, and she had a huge knowledge about all different kind of herbs, you were amazed about that, you really admired your mother.

You were just 7 years old when you started to read her herbal books and when you didn’t understand a word you would ask her the meaning, and while you were entertained or doing any other thing, she was always making sure you were alright, and that you were safe, that’s why she had casted a spell all around your hidden cottage, so that no one, not even the witch-hunters could find both of you

On your 9th birthday she gave you a book of spells, the cover of the book was hard, it was made out of leather, you passed your hand through the cover to feel the texture and you smiled, you were amazed, it contained thousands of spells which you started to practice right away, for you it was a dream come true, you were eager to start learning each one of them, so you tried to memorize almost all of them, your mother would always watch you while she read a book in a corner, sitting on a chair, reading out loud in your room or just reading silently outside in the backyard.

In 1690 at night you were preparing an herbal tea that accelerated the healing process of wounds, but in the middle of the preparation you heard gunshots coming from outside your mother’s cottage

Panic filled your entire body but you tried to remain calm, remembering all of the protection and conjuring spells that your mother had taught you, you were not about to back off, ready to attack whoever was outside the once hidden cottage, but before you could conjure a fireball the door flew open, revealing your panicked mother running straight towards you

When your eyes landed on her panicked figure, worry started to grow inside you, you had never seen her in such an altered state, before you could even ask her what was wrong or what had happened to her she spoke first, trying to catch her breath she almost spat her words

 -“You have to run way, I thought I had kept you safe and that they would never find us, I was so wrong, they’re here y/n, there are at least 7 of them on their way” -

 You knew right away of about whom she was talking about, witch-hunters

-“Mom we can leave together! We can run together; I’m not going to leave you here!”-

 - “Oh, my sweet y/n, I can’t, I won’t make it, they will take you too”-

 You frowned in confusion, what was she talking about? You couldn’t understand, until you realized, she had been holding her side with her left hand, she had been shot and tears started to run through your cheeks

- “c'mon mom, we can make it, I- I can give you something to help you heal the wound, I won’t leave you here!”-

 You took you mother’s free hand in your own ones, you were shaking, trembling, and fear was consuming you

 -“It’s too late for me, it was a silver bullet, it will take longer for me to heal, hours and we don’t have time, here take this”-

 She took her hand out of yours and with her shaking hand ripped her necklace and then took the brooch from her lilac collar blouse, and handed them to you

 -“Take this with you and never forget, I will always be with you”-  she put her hand on you face, caressing your cheek, she wiped away the fresh tears that had fallen from your eyes and put her own forehead against yours

 -“I won’t leave you; I can’t leave you here to die”-  You were choking on your own tears and she was sobbing as well as you-

 She shushed you and said that everything was going to be ok

-“I love you y/n”-  your mother said and put her hand in your temple and started to chant something in an unknown language, before you had the chance to ask something you realized what was happening, smoke of a baby blue color surrounded you and before closing your eyes you saw 5 men entering into your cottage yelling to each other to catch the witch, you started to scream and tried to conjure something but suddenly everything went black, you didn’t feel your mother’s grip loosening and then disappearing, but when you opened your eyes again, you were in the middle of a misty forest, hastily you turned your head to the sides and looked for you mother, you were shocked.

Tightening the grip around the necklace and the brooch that you mother gave you, she was nowhere to be seen, you did not know what to do so you started to run through the thick forest.

What had happened? How did you end up in the middle of a forest? But most important where was you mother? suddenly you remembered everything, and images of the witch Hunters entering to your house took your breath away, you gasped for air, everything around you was blurry and you felt dizzy, you tried to keep yourself steady and tried to reach for something, to keep your balance and not to fall, but you tripped over something and lost your balance, you were too tired to even try to hold onto something, so you just let yourself fall, you waited for the hard hit against the rough surface, but the hit never came, instead you felt  two strong arms catching you and tightened around your waist, you tried to see who had caught you and lifted your head a little but the only thing that you had caught a glimpse of was of some long strands of dark-brown hair before you passed away.

The sunrays started to bother you, why had your mother opened the shutters, you were sure it was 7 in the morning because of the way you felt, your body ached and you didn’t want to rise from bed, it was weird, a smell of lavender and vanilla filled your nostrils, it was so good, something you had never smelled before, it was calming and you felt relaxed, you turned yourself to the other side of the bed to hug your pillow, but you found nothing, it was strange, you didn’t remember your mother taking your pillow to be washed, but it was at that instant, in which you remembered everything that had happened the day before, you opened your eyes and hastily sat down on the bed, ready to leave but you felt a hand against your shoulder and you were greeted by a pair of piercing baby blue eyes. The woman in front of you gently pushed you back against the soft purple mattress and you laid back.

-“ You need to calm down, sweetheart you fainted last night, I caught you before you could hit the ground, why were you alone in the woods at night?”-

-“ My mother! I need to go back to look for her, she’s in danger, some witch hunters shot her and I do not know what happened, she said something in another language and the next thing I knew I was standing in the middle of a forest and…” -  You stopped rambling and started to touch your clothes and you hair, Agatha understood that you were looking for something and took something out of her pocket dress, she gently touched your face to catch your attention and showed you her hand, your eyes became glossy, you stopped for a moment and slowly reached her hand with yours, she handed you the brooch and the pendant.

- “Sweetheart I’m sorry about what happened, those witch-hunters keep looking for us…” -  Before she kept talking, she looked at your palm and hers, she could feel your soft hand against hers and she changed what she was going to say next

  - “ I noticed you had this with you and I supposed it was yours, even though you fainted you still had a tight grip around this so I took it from your hand to keep it safe” -

 She looked at you in a curious way, you were mesmerized by her beauty, you had never seen such a beautiful woman like her, she radiated something else even though you could tell what it was, but you could feel it, before you could keep staring at her, you remembered her first words about the witch Hunters looking for you, you were surprised, did that mean that she was a witch too?

-“Are you a witch too?”-

She laughed about your question, her laugh was a little bit loud but at the same time it was kind of soothing, but you did not understand why she was laughing, she saw you frowning and stopped, she looked right in your eyes before speaking again with a serious look

- “We´re in New Salem, only witches with great power can enter this place, New Salem has been hidden for centuries, people who don’t have powers can´t enter, this place is totally invisible for humans, only witches like you and me can enter this place”- She stopped for a moment

- “So, you’ve never heard of New Salem?”-  She asked and you just shook your head

She looked surprised for a moment and gave you a quick look, a witch as powerful as you who could enter New Salem only could come from a mother or should have descendants with great power too, how came that you’ve never heard of the place, every powerful witch had been there before, the older witch in charge of the Coven had registered every witch that had been in New Salem

- “What is your name?”-  She asked

- “My name´s Y/N Le Fay, why do you ask?”- Your told her, confused in why she was suddenly interested in knowing your name

She seemed to be deep in her thoughts before talking again

“I was curious, and now that you told me your name, I will tell you mine, the name´s Agatha Harkness and now that we have introduced each other properly, it´s a pleasure to finally meet you dear”-

You smiled, she was very charming and you felt your face becoming hotter because you realised both of you had been holding hands all this time, you started to blush and Agatha found the fact interesting and cute.

-“What am I going to do now? – You asked, you still did not know what to do or what to think, by this time the witch-hunters had already taken your mother, and again you felt tears in the corner of your eyes threatening to fall, before you could do anything, Agatha pushed you to her chest, she was hugging you, and even if Agatha had just met you, she wanted to give you some comfort, her action only made you close your eyes and cry into her chest, she put her hand in your hair and stroke it, Agatha told you that everything was going to be ok, that the witch-hunters could not enter New Salem and that she would take care of you, by the time you had calmed down, you withdrew yourself from her and looked right into her eyes, she had no malice in her eyes and she had saved you, you felt safe with her and decided to give her a smile, maybe not everything was bad.

Since that day Agatha and you were inseparable, she presented you to the other witches and to the one in charge of everything, they let you stay and also gave you a room to sleep in, plus your room was next to Agatha´s room.

You still remembered the exact day when the older witch Madam Lane, the one in charge,  took you to your room and gave you new clothes, after examining every corner of the room and the ceiling you heard a slight knock on you door and went to answer, Agatha was standing right in front of you with some flowers and greeted you, again  –“Hi, I´m Agatha, your neighbour to the right”-  You started to laugh, she always had the power to make you smile even on your worse days, and that was one of the many things you loved about her, she was always so carefree, and she stood for herself, for you and for the things she believed in.

From time to time you would shut down remembering your mother and how much you missed her and you just wanted to lie on your bed and sleep without nobody interrupting you, but on those days Agatha had been there, all of the bad days, she would held you and stroke your hair or your back, she was so attentive, always asking if you were ok or if you needed something, without knowing you started to fall in love with her.

One day when you were studying some spells on a bench in the huge garden, one of the older witches of the coven came to your side, you tensed, you knew the other witches did not like you, Agatha was the one who made you feel safe and showed you how much she cared for you, you decided it would be better to leave the bench and as you were about to leave not wanting to bother the older witch, she grabbed the book you were reading, you tried to reach for it but she was stronger, she stood in front of you, blocking your sight

- “What are you going to do? How is it that a witch like you can be here anyway? You have never casted any powerful spells, you´re the weakest, also why Agatha would hang with someone like you though- “

She did not finish her last sentence because Agatha sent her flying to the other side of the garden, you were shocked, you watched her body colliding against the ground and before you knew Agatha was standing in front of her

She said something to her, you couldn’t hear what she said but when the girl finally stood, she tried to run, Agatha then came flying to your side, and hold your hand closer to her chest

“Are you alright? Did she do something to you?”-

She started to check for any injuries and when she did not find any injuries, she sighed in relief

-“Agatha what did you do? She´s going to tell to Madam Lane, she will ground you”-

You put your hand against her cheek and stroke it, you were so in love with her, you put your free hand on her neck and caressed the softness of her skin, she noticed you looking at her lips and took this as chance, she was a tad taller than you and she leaned her face to kiss you.

The kiss was soft and you loved the feeling of her lips against yours, you returned the kiss and she put her hands on your waist and brought you closer to her, when you feel the need to breathe again you separated a little and looked at her

-“I love you Agatha and I think I´ve done it since I first met you even if it sounds impossible”- You smiled at her and with your hand hooked one strand of her hair behind her ear, and then you caressed her cheek

“I love you too y/n and I think I´ve done it since I caught you stopping you from falling to the ground”-

You felt your heart full of love for this woman, you loved her with every piece of your heart

“Let me love you till the end of our lives; I will fix your heart and I will fill every empty space of it”

She whispered to you and you found yourself blushing, just as many other times when you were with her, she could not believe that you returned her feelings

-“Of course, I will let you love me, and I promised I will fill every part of your heart with my love too, what I feel for you I´ve never felt it before and it´s real” – You said back to her and you kissed her again

-“Also, thanks for saving me from that girl, you shouldn’t have done it, you will get yourself in trouble”- you said while stroking her cheek

-“Do not thank me my love, I will always have your back and I won´t let anyone hurt you, I will protect you with my life”- saying that she kissed you again, that was for sure the best day of your life.

On 1693 was the worst day of your life, the coven had taken Agatha for a trial, they said that Agatha had been playing with dark magic, you knew that was false, she had never told you anything related to dark magic, she could never, someone had said lies about her to madam Lane.

While she was been taken to the post, you were behind all of them yelling and begging them to let your girlfriend free, it was all a mistake.

Two witches were stopping you from getting free and also had put magical ropes to your hands, to prevent you from using your magic, you watched in horror as they tied you girlfriend to the post and while she was grunting with pain they tied their hands with magic too, you saw 10 witches surrounding your girlfriend and making a circle around her, in front of her was Madam Lane, you heard her asking if she was a witch, Agatha  said yes but Madam Lane said to her that she had betrayed the coven, but that was a lie, she could never! You tried to remove yourself from the two witches holding you, but they had a strong grip around both of your arms.

Before you could move again you heard Madam Lane accusing Agatha of practicing dark magic, your girlfriend said that she did not know anything of that crimes but Madam Lane told her to stop, you looked Agatha staying quiet for a moment before speaking again

-“I did not break your rules, they simply bent to my power”-

You gasped in shock; has she been lying to you all this time?

You looked at her with a lot of sadness in your eyes you could not believe, you told one another every single thing!

She looked at you and she could not stand the look in your face – “I´m sorry my love, I´m sorry I couldn’t help myself!”-

Tears started to run through your face, you were scared, even though she had lied to you, she did not deserve to die, you couldn’t stand the idea of her dying

- “Please Madam Lane, untie her, she´s sorry it was all mistake! You can´t burn her, she´s one of us!-

Before you could keep talking all the witches started to chant in Latin, you were confused, what were they doing? You saw your girlfriend struggling against the wooden post, and you began to worry too

Agatha looked at you and yelled to you “Do not worry my love, I will be ok, nothing will happen to me, we will be together just as we planned”- You saw the tears running through her cheeks and you couldn’t stop yourself from sobbing harder.

Your worry begins to grow harder when you saw the blue magic emanating from the hands of the witches

-“Stop! What are you doing!?”-

When your heard Agatha calling Madam Lane “mother” you felt yourself getting lost for words, Agatha never told you that she was her mother, she never mentioned it, and you never suspected anything, they rarely talk to each other, how was possible, how did you miss all of those things? However, your thoughts stopped and you screamed in horror as you watched the witches throwing their blue magic hurting Agatha, your girlfriend started to scream, she was in pain, you couldn’t stand watching her in pain, but when the blue magic turned purple, you were perplexed, was Agatha doing that? She stopped screaming and turned her head to look around her, the purple magic touched the witches and all of them started to agonize, they were starting to look like corpses, was Agatha consuming their power and their life? Her mother rose from the ground and she attacked Agatha, when her mother´s powers got to her, it was as if they were making her more powerful, she freed herself from the magical ropes and her hand and eyes glowed purple she released a huge amount of the power and all of the witches fell to the floor looking like corpses, one thing she did not realized it was that her magic had thrown you away hitting really hard a tree, you fell to the ground without her noticing.

When she was done with her mother, she turned her head hastily at her sides, she looked for you and you were nowhere to be seen, she panicked, so she ran and looked between the corpses, had you run away from her? Were you afraid of her now? She did not know what had happened, but when she took a glimpse of your dress, lying down on the ground she could not stop herself from screaming, she crouched down to take your body into her arms she could not believe it, she sobbed, she hugged and pressed your body against hers and told you how much she loved you, she had sworn to protect you and on the contrary she had hurt you, she could not believe it, she thought she had killed you, she thought you were dead because of her, she could not stand watching you like this because of her.

She took your face with her hands and caressed your face one more time, kissed your lips for the last time and stood up, she left your body on the ground and left, she would not love again.

｡ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ｡˚｡ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ｡˚

Agatha arrived to Westview, she had rehearsed her script one time, she was ready to knock on Wanda´s door, she changed her purple drees into a beautiful plaid dress, which matched exactly to the 50´s era, she even changed her hairstyle, when she decided she was ready she went straight to knock on Wanda´s, she was not looking when the door was opened, she was distracted by the plant she had in her hands, so she started to talk before looking at the person in front of her.

 - “Hello, dear, I´m Agnes, your neighbor to the right”-

However she stopped death in her tracks when she realized who was the person in front of her, she saw you, the person she thought she would never see again, a lot of thoughts passed through her head and she for once in her life did not know what to do, you the love of her life, you were right in front of her, was this faith to let her mend what she had done and get you back? You smiled at her, it was obvious that you were under Wanda´s mind control, and she wanted to cry, you were suffering on the inside and she could not do anything for now, Wanda would notice if someone broke away from her mind control so she decided she would help you, but how? Even after all these years, she still loved you the same.

[griddymasterr]

SECRET LOVE SONG ♡

pairings: Bada x fem!reader

cw: angst, bada in her late 20s and reader in her mid 20s, a little suggestive.

synopsis: You and Bada first met at her studio until one day she confessed her feelings for you. Both of you decided to keep your relationship a secret but you wanted to be comfortable with her in public too. until…

note: this is my first work being published on tumblr (also sorry for grammar errors I'm still working on it)

♫ Secret Love Song - Little Mix ft. Jason Derulo ♫

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

~why can't you hold me in the street? why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor~

It’s been a year since the day the two of you met at Bada’s studio when you attended one of her classes. Your presence and your dance style was the reason why Bada was interested in you, or so she thought. It took quite some time and support from her teammates for Bada to gather up her courage and ask you out for dinner. The scene that took place at the studio was confusing for some of her students but since they knew about the way Bada kept eyeing you in her classes, they knew you had a very special charm that only Bada saw.

The process of Bada taking you out on friendly dates didn’t last long as she confessed her feelings for you late in the afternoon after finishing one of her classes at the same studio where you two met for the first time. The two of you promised to keep your relationship a secret for now, since telling everyone that Bada, a very famous dance teacher and choreographer is dating one of her students would cause some trouble in the industry. 

A year passed by quickly, now you're a choreographer alongside Bada and still the two of you are still keeping your relationship a secret, even when Bada’s team, Bebe, which included you, was invited to be in a dance show. You kept your relationship professional as teammates and friends. But in private the two of you would spend time together watching a movie, snuggled up at Bada’s place or talk about the little things in your life and Bada would always be there to listen to your stories. You two would share sweet kisses and laugh at each other's corny jokes. Sometimes, things would get a little heated up at Bada’s place and you’d wake up with her cuddled up close to your chest and a slight sting to your legs but you loved every second you spent with her.

But these past few days you’ve been seeing your teammate publicly dating and posting pictures on social media with their significant others and you wanted the same thing for both you and Bada. You introduced Bada to the idea of making your relationship public but lowkey, she quickly declined saying that it would bother her and your schedules as team Bebe became popular in the media due to them attending the competition.

“Babe, can we at least tell our teammates about us?”.

“We can, but I already told you they would bother us non stop and you know how fast news spread these days, everyone would be asking us questions”

“But you said you trust our teammates.”

“I do, it's just not the right time y/n.. Also can we talk about this later? I’m trying to focus on this new choreo.”

You left her to continue her dance routine as you walked home, alone in the streets of Seoul. Everything was bright here at night, restaurants were filled with people. Couples walking alongside the street while they had their fingers brushing against each other's hand. Scenes like this occurred often, but after having Bada telling you to leave her alone, a small pang in your chest was felt as you continued walking home.

At home, you waited for Bada to come back home as you cooked her dinner. Replaying your thoughts you had when walking back home you started to think that maybe you were jealous of your teammates, jealous of other people. Deep in your thoughts, you felt hands coming to your waist and a soft, breathy “hello” was heard near your left ear. It was Bada.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Oh.. Nothing, I was just trying to find the salt..”

“But it's in front of you?”

“Y-yeah.. I didn't see it. Anyways you should clean up.”

Bada was worried about your actions and the way you spoke to her. “Did I do something wrong?” was the question her mind kept asking to herself. Knowing that she isn’t the expert in relationships, she called Tatter, her close friend and also a member of Bebe to figure things out.

Days gone by and as one of her teammates, you two would often find yourself performing together as a group. You loved the way she shined as the spotlight illuminates her skin and the way her eyes sparkled as she hits every beat to the choreo she made. At times, you imagined how it would feel to have your lips against hers in the dancefloor and call her “mine”, you imagined how it would feel to have her hands intertwined with yours as you two danced to the dance routine you two created together at Bada’s apartment under the refrigerator light.

But as her girlfriend, you couldn't just throw away the trust she has made with you just to fulfil your own selfish wants. So, instead you steal glances towards each other as the curtain falls but as you knew, it was never enough.

“Hey.. babe, that performance was amazing”, you say, walking into her private dressing room backstage.

“Thanks, I loved your solo performance as well”, Bada said as she leaned in for a quick peck on your lips. It was fast but sweet and you could taste her sweet strawberry lipsti- wait..

“Bada?? Someone could see us!”

“It’s okay.. No one is here and also I wanted us to finally be comfortable being outside together.. I mean, if you want to..”, As a soft smile appeared on her lips.

“Yes!! I love that idea”

“Oh.. and I wanted to apologise for the way I’ve been acting these past few weeks. I pushed you away and never listened to your ideas.. So, please let me fix this and make it up to you.”

A small laugh left your lips. “It’s okay babe, I understand.”

“Let’s go to an ice cream shop after this, my treat”

“Should we ask if the others want to join us?”

“No, it's only us’’, She said as she smiled and gave you a soft peck on your cheek as she walked outside of her dressing room.

“By the way you better get changed quickly or else I'm buying ice cream for myself”.

“YA! BADA, WAIT UP!!”.

From there, your relationship was no longer a secret but you still kept it lowkey so people wouldn't bother you two as much. Though your teammates now knew of your relationship, most were surprised and supportive but Tatter on the other hand was laughing at Bada’s speech about you two.

“See.. Lusher, you owe me 100 now.”

[maskedteaser]

i find myself really wishing there was more reader x Javier fluff in the rdr2 fandom (or...fluff in general. there's so much smut.) so i was wondering if you could cook something up! :D (Preferably masc reader, but beggars can't be choosers LOL)

ofc i got you! beggars can be choosers on my page :)) I TRIED TO POST IT 3 TIMES AND TUMBLR IS JUST GIVING ME "SOMETHING WENT WRONG WHILE POSTING THIS.." ERROR!!! HELP!!! not proofread!

warnings: male reader written by a girl, teeth rotting fluff lmk if i missed something

CEREZO ROSA - JAVIER ESCUELLA X MALE READER

The silence between you two was not uncomfortable, it was needed as you two were almost out of breath. You two were running around the cute meadow you recently found and decided to ask Javier to join you on a little picnic. He was not sure at first, since he was scared that people around the camp might need him and that it was not okay to just leave without anyone knowing, but after some time of you almost begging him to just come with you on a little walk… Just on a little walk! He agreed, sighing heavily. But it was all but a little walk. You left early, right after you both had your first meal of the day, and before you could even notice the sun was going down already! Oh, how time flies when you're with the good company, huh? Chores already forgotten, whole camp not being important when you two were sitting, looking at each other, since you were each other's most precious, important things in the whole world. His soft, dark eyes slowly moving around, looking at you, trying his best to remember every detail of this moment. His hair was being gently moved by wind, and you just couldn't be happier. You got up, feeling a bit hungry, and Javier followed your moves with his soft gaze.

⎯⎯⎯⎯ where are you going, lindo? ⎯⎯⎯⎯ he asked, a bit unsure, clearly curious. Single strand of his hair fell on his nose, which he quickly fixed.

⎯⎯⎯⎯ we packed some fruits to eat while we're here, remember? ⎯⎯⎯⎯ you replied, smiling. Bending over, reaching to a little bag that was laying on the ground. You took two cans of your favorite canned fruits, one for you and one for him, obviously. When you got back, you sat next to him, even closer than last time. Leaning on his arm, you tried to open your can, but it was harder than you'd imagine, so you just sighed, giving it to Javier. He quickly picked up his favorite knife and opened it without a problem, he just spilled some juice on his hands. When you saw that, you giggled, thanking him for opening your food. Soft mutter escaped your lips when you felt the melting flavors on your tongue, sweet, a bit sour but definitely delicious. You closed your eyes for a bit, tired, you knew you were safe, since you were with Javier. If you looked up, you would see how red his cheeks got, the feeling of your body being so close to him was so much to process, you were close to each others, of course, but he was not sure how close. Could he call you his? How could he ask you for permission to be his partner, his boyfriend? Everyone around always told him how weird were people that liked the same gender, but he never thought that he'd have to experience it on his own skin. But when Javier falls, he falls HARD, that's why he was so nervous back then, scared to move a muscle, scared — because he didn't want to scare you away. He realized he loved you at the beginning of that summer, days went by, but the summer showed no sign of ending, as if that magical summer would last all year until another one finally took its place. For some reason he felt scared, he didn't want this time to end, because what if you distance yourself from him when autumn comes? What if the magical moments you two lived through will get erased withing a blink of an eye? Your future was uncertain, everything about it. But there was one thing Javier Escuella was sure of — the fact that he loved you, that no matter what people will say, he will love you, no matter what slurs he'll get called out by others, his love for you will only bloom more. Because when he looked at you, his little amorsito, he felt that nothing else matters anymore. You were not only the person he gave his heart to, but also a friend that understood him well and was always there to hear him out. Javier wanted to hug you, to put his arm around your shoulder and just sit there in silence. He knew he had to confess to you sooner or later, but it was so hard for him. His love was confessed around once or twice in his life, he was not experienced at all, especially not with guys. But as soon as he was close to making up his mind and finally speaking, feeling like this might be the right moment, you moved, your body moved, and he got distracted, by your smell, the warmth you shared with him. Oh, he looked down at the top of your head, and he couldn't believe that you didn't do that on purpose. There was no way you were that oblivious! He felt his heart race, so he put his hands on his face, trying to calm down.

⎯⎯⎯⎯ what's wrong? ⎯⎯⎯⎯ you said, feeling the arm you were leaning on moving slightly. You sat back up, looking at him, covering his face. You put your food aside and gave you the worried look. He peeked through his fingers, and god how he hated that look on you, because he knew that you truly cared for him, yet you for some reason still weren't his? It made him feel so guilty of not confessing earlier, but he was literally scared.

⎯⎯⎯⎯ I just… ⎯⎯⎯⎯ he started, but sighed, not knowing what to say. ⎯⎯⎯⎯ I… I just think that… Do you think there is any chance for us to be… Um… More than friends? I- I'm really sorry if that's too out of the blue and!- ⎯⎯⎯⎯ he was silenced by your face moving closer to him, by you leaning closer, putting both of your hands at each side of his hips, gently touching the green grass.

⎯⎯⎯⎯ … Oh, Javier… ⎯⎯⎯⎯ your voice showed a mix of emotions that went through your head, and that's the reaction he feared the most. He'd actually prefer if you just slapped him or called him a slur, but now… What were you? ⎯⎯⎯⎯ I always thought I was wrong for feeling this way for you… I was so sure that you'd never like me back… ⎯⎯⎯⎯ and then he heard… Relief. His eyes went wide, and his first instinct was to grasp your shoulders, which he did, not thinking much of it. His smile was precious, almost filled with child-like joy, as he replied: ⎯⎯⎯⎯ If we're weird, then let us be weird together, flor, I'll never let you be weird by yourself. ⎯⎯⎯⎯ he said, leaning to kiss you. His lips were dry, hungry, but the kiss was still so soft and full of love, full of happiness. Will you return that kiss...?

SIGNED TEASER IF THIS POST WILL NOT GET POSTED CAUSE OF THIS ERROR ONCE AGAIN I'M GIVING UP!!!

[gryficowa]

Boycott!

I think I succeeded before Tumblr suddenly decided to give me a message saying that it couldn't process the post…

Now that I have your attention:

---------------------------------------

Yes, this error can be irritating, especially when you want to reblog a post and the message keeps popping up and you have to wait…

But don't forget about collections!

[ficyorick]

"the original ending to the ch3 looked like this. before the very painstaking edit process the whole HL-on-Butchers-lap scene was WAY more... you know. more handsy. i decided to downplay it considerably bc I felt i was jumping the gun too early and im glad i did, i prefer butcher more tortured about the whole thing"

Would you ever consider posting this version on your tumblr? It seems interesting though i agree it would probably be too early

hi anon! i wish i could but unfortunately this wasn't the case of me just cutting out a bit and moving it to "deleted scenes" folder, this was a thorough re-edit, meaning i had to change multiple parts, multiple sentences or just a few words there and there... basically a lot of small changes that aren't as easy to save as a whole scene getting cut . the best i can do is post some excerpts that are from the pre-final edit version of the chapter which is after some editing already :( sorry if there's errors or even editing comments from me to me HEHE i tried to remove all of them

Butcher put out another cigarette in his old drink and patted Homelander’s knee then his own. 

"C’mere." 

"No." A whine. 

"Come sit on my lap." 

"Sssicko." 

Butcher grabbed his arm and pulled him with force. Another hand on his hip, the cheap costume rustled underneath his grip. Homelander made another undignified noise but he was so pliable, it felt like moving a big pillow on top of him. He was straddling his thighs, hands hanging loose from his sides, far away from Butcher. His eyes were closed as if he couldn’t stand to look at what was happening now.

"You’re ssso sick." Homelander protested but he could only sway back and forth.

"What did you say to her?" Butcher asked, looking up into his face. His heart was beating fast now. The main event. 

"Who…" 

"Becca."

"Oh Jesus…" Not this again, said Homelander’s tone. He took a deep breath. "Just do it…" 

"Do what." 

"I dunno, whatever it is you’re going to…." The colorful mess in his lap was slightly swaying back and forth, unable to find balance. Then all of a sudden, he tried to get away but Butcher grabbed him by his hip again, forcing him down. A little gasp: "You’re sick. Sssick." 

"Are you scared?" Butcher asked through his clenched teeth. 

Homelander shook his head but something wet clung to his lashes anyway. 

"I’m not gonna hurt ya." Butcher’s hands moved from the hips to his thighs. A strangled keen from Homelander. "I just want you to feel what she felt." 

He shifted his palms further in, moving to the inner side of the splayed, costumed thighs. Homelander tensed up, as much as he could while pumped full of booze. Only one of his eyes was open, peeking at him underneath clumped lashes. He was breathing fast. Butcher huffed out a hot breath of his own that couldn't stay in his lungs anymore. Homelander flinched as if the sound itself was enough to send him into a panic. The palms on his thighs moved up and down, going deeper, further up, with each shifting movement. Butcher absent-mindedly noted that the hands pressing into the cheap fabric didn't even feel like his anymore. The swaying man on his lap was still now, leaning back unnaturally. He was still watching him with just one eye, the other one blind to everything that was happening.

"What are you thinking about?" Butcher asked, no tone, no inclination to his voice. Just a neutral command. 

"Wish I could… choke the life out of you." Homelander confessed.

Butcher kept his hands where they were, his fingertips pressed into the spot where the thighs met the pelvis. He wasn’t sure if Homelander could even feel his touch through the foamy muscle padding, but judging by how frozen he still was, he could feel it. Every second of it. 

"Okay." Butcher canted his head. "Go ahead. Give it a try."

Homelander didn’t move but Butcher heard him inhale. 

"I mean it. Do it."

Suddenly, a pair of clammy hands was closing on his throat. A familiar Homelander snarl rang out above his head. The grasp on his neck didn’t obstruct his breathing in any way, it was struggling to even fully squeeze at him. All it did was make him laugh in a slightly strained way. HLs hands cant even fully close around his throat

"C’mon, put your back into it." He groaned out.

Homelander sunk his fingertips as deep as he could, putting on claw-like pressure. That, he could almost feel. 

"There we go, good lad." Butcher grunted and smiled at him.

"Want to kill you so bad." Homelander whined out, his breathing devolving into an open-mouthed panting. "So, so, so bad." 

"You can’t. Not anymore." Billy laughed. His hands moved from Homelander’s thighs to the wrists. He could feel zip-tie scars underneath his palms and he swiped over them with pride. 

"So bad…" Homelander’s grip was waning, there was no strength left in his drunk arms. He kept slurring words out, just one eye open, his pupil completely blown out: "Kill you so fuckin’ bad… rip your head off… then crush… it."

Butcher grinned, wild-eyed. He was untouchable and the scared little cunt in his lap couldn’t even do anything to fight back.

A hiccup interrupted them and just like that Homelander's entire body wobbled and he collapsed to the side like a felled tree, letting go of Butcher’s throat. 

"Fuck…" He complained. 

Butcher shoved the limp legs off his lap and got up from the couch. Homelander’s knees were on the floor now and he stepped away from him like he was on fire. Homelander was face down on the green fabric, looking like a doll abandoned mid-play, its limbs bent at weird angles.

"You can’t do anything anymore, cunt." Butcher fumbled for his cigarettes, basically smashing one of them into his mouth and lighting it up. He had to do something with his hands, his limbs were like a live wire now. One puff, two puffs. Fuck. 

_____

there was more stuff that i removed... there was actual groping i cut out, i think the choking scene had HL moving closer to Butcher, huffing and puffing at each other and then during the bathroom moment Butcher had more sexually charged revelations about how vulnerable and utterly his HL is and how THAT was making him even more into everything that was happening but i chose to replace all of that with Guilt.

[lunar-years]

THESE TAGS YES.

i loooove jamiekeeley (whichever way u wanna read that) however i think jamie was firmly over her in a romantic way by then. also re roy i just think of that one post like “everything is about football except for jamie except jamie is actually about keeley. but keeley is also about jamie so.”

and then we kinda cement royjamie’s relationship as positive with roy forgiving jamie and by the end 100% they are friends. roy getting close to jamie and being vulnerable with him and then saying he’s proud of him only to follow with “btw back off from keeley”….. [jamie voice] ok! awesome! i feel so great about myself and whatever we have going on. which is fucking nothing. apparently. cuz u were just buttering me up

this is so poorly written and nothing no one hasn’t already said. i just needed to rant -_- and then roy comes out looking like the bad guy but he’s literally not. he’s just repressed & even with keeley being the one to choose she’s still just a prop. which ok tbf with rj i can see how that happens ngl,, but that doesn’t mean i have to like it LOL

Me forced to look at my own spelling /grammar errors because its so annoying to add tags on this damn tumblr app 🫣 *roy springS

Anyway YEAH!! The only thing I don’t agree with you about is that I do very much think Jamie is still in love with Keeley romantically in the finale and I think he was being genuine to Roy when he told him as such. I just also think he’s in love Roy!

To me that scene is entirely about royjamie rather than keeley at its core. The whole reason Roy arranges it is because he loves keeley and wants to get back with her but he also loves Jamie (and probably doesn’t realize it yet, but DOES know he can’t stand the thought of Jamie not being in his life). he’s downright terrified being with keeley is going to change his relationship with Jamie and he quite essentially Can’t Deal With That. So he’s trying to preemptively tell Jamie how it’s going to be, because it NEEDS to be that way in Roys head since he wants to have both Keeley AND jamie as part of his life and this is the only way he can see himself getting that. He’s not intentionally trying to hurt Jamie (well, up until Jamie rightfully pushes back and Roy gets egotistical and pissy about it!). I think he really thinks he’s doing the right thing and being the bigger person by asking Jamie to back off?? Which is obviously so absurd and misguided but also so very Roy. Of course it doesn’t go well because he’s a repressed AND entitled asshole about it and thereby hurts Jamie in the process. But like. I think the intentions were warped but coming from a good place?

Meanwhile from Jamie’s POV he thought he was having literally the best day of his life, where crush #1 Keeley agreed (and was extremely excited about) going to Brazil with him AND crush #2 Roy finally asked him to hang out outside of training!! On possibly a date!!! And then he’s telling Jamie he’s PROUD of him, which is like, literally what Jamie has been waiting to hear from him!! Jamie must fully think he’s dreaming because DAMN. But then Roy (seemingly randomly) pivots to talking about Keeley and acting like his relationship with her was so much more Important and Real than Jamie’s (which. It wasn’t. Not in Jamie’s mind, certainly). I think Jamie is SO hurt because he thought he and Roy were really friends on the verge of more and then Roy instead decided to like. Be a giant dick again! Out of nowhere! So Jamie says what he says to hurt him back just as much.

It’s about keeley but it’s not about keeley, if you will. And the lines are all crossed.

Which is to say, I don’t hate that scene as much as most people. I think it actually exemplifies (in the messiest way imaginable) how deeply royjamie care about each other and how goddamn terrible they are at successfully communicating it to each other, let alone learning how to navigate those feelings together.

I do hate that Keeley lacks onscreen agency in her big “choice,” because there really IS no choice with royjamie behaving like that (though I think she’d have turned them both down regardless). And her telling them as much happens offscreen with no follow up!! Which sucks!!

[sydney-carton-of-sour-milk]

The Many Illustrators of A Tale of Two Cities 6: Max Cowper

...& some frustration from faulty sources...

"Lucy (sic) Bids Farewell to Sydney Carton"

As we've come to see here, not all sources for these many illustrations are, put simply, all that great or reliable.

To start off, the ↑ above illustration is excellent example: A) Obviously, the name of this illustration doesn't match up with any scene in A Tale of Two Cities! My guess is that it's actually depicting Charles being taken away in "Dusk" (pretty major thing to get wrong!). Multiple online sources cite this as the name, but is that really what Max Cowper himself named it? B) I honestly didn't know until recently that this was, in fact, by Max Cowper! I've had this illustration stored in the archives for years and was only able to confirm it by - you guessed it - looking at that faint signature below the main character's feet and checking it off another color illustration by him (poetically, for Barnaby Rudge).

This is something that happens often in my research: Many illustrators for this novel will have a one-off piece not necessarily related to the work they did for the novel itself, and it's usually much more difficult to connect that piece to their book illustrations (when we get to Fred Barnard eventually...oof!). Oftentimes, the image just gets passed around over decades of republication - sometimes even traced / redrawn - and used as a cover or frontispiece without credit.

There are other forms of unreliability, though - including one I just encountered for the first time: Here are Cowper's eight 1902* illustrations for the novel. One of these is not like the others - see if you can tell which!

If you guessed the fourth ("Monsieur le Marquis"), you'd be correct!

Basically, when I originally downloaded this set from the Internet Archive, I hadn't downloaded them as individual images but rather the entire book as a PDF which I then picked the images off of - and what I hadn't realized until recently was that this compresses the images in a strange way.

Here is what the PDF compression looks like:

See how much beautiful linework and detail gets crunched?

And so, today, to make this post, I went out to that source again and downloaded each individually - only to find that this exact source no longer had the Marquis illustration! Basically, I think that someone working at the Internet Archive rescanned the exact same copy of the book - accidentally skipping one of the illustrations in the process - and then replaced the old scan with this new (honestly really nice) one. Human error strikes again, both on my part and on theirs!

Ultimately, I decided not to try to find these from any other source and to just include the one with the compression error that doesn't quite match the quality of the rest - which will tie in well with the next edition of this series anyway (you'll see)!

And regardless, I'm grateful we have access to these beautiful, humanistic character designs and illustrations at all, no matter the image quality🖼️

*To round it all out, the copy from which I downloaded these is from 1904, but I also read a source that said the first version of this edition was maybe from 1902, so, once again, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

& the standard endnote for all posts in this series:

This post is intended to act as the start of a forum on the given illustrator, so if anyone has anything to add - requests to see certain drawings in higher definition (since Tumblr compresses images), corrections to factual errors, sources for better-quality versions of the illustrations, further reading, fun facts, any questions, or just general commentary - simply do so on this post, be it in a comment/tags or the replies!💫

[charmwasjess]

🧮💩 any random recipes you'd like to share? or gardening tips mayhaps?

(signed, tumblr user count doodoo, master of burning food and killing plants)

Count-y DD, my beloved, I've been sitting on this ask forever because I LOVED it so much, I really thought I was gonna make a big recipe post with heavily filtered pictures (I used to write a fake lifestyle blog as a joke) --and I probably still will sometime when I'm procrastinating at work.

BUT I was reminded of the plant tip question as I was wandering around the complete mess of my garden after leaving it for two weeks and thinking how much of gardening is failure. It's a real exercise in trying something, it not working, and trying something differently, trying something else, or just trying again. I am a plant serial killer. If that were a crime, I would go to jail for a thousand years for all the plants I killed. But it's part of the process! You don't know what's going to work in your yard until you've experimented, had some duds, and felt out what works for your light and soil situation, and what doesn't. And of course, research is good, but the best thing is just trying - experimenting and paying attention to the results.

I think a lot of new gardeners get excited about a new plant or garden bed, kill one, or hell, all of their plants, and then get discouraged and decide they're just not good at it. This false idea that you have a green thumb or you don't. But I think the real thing is trial and error and not getting discouraged when you face setbacks in the garden. Sunflower seeds didn't come up, or they did, but then some idiot went to France and didn't water them for two weeks? Okay, there are like a hundred seeds in those little packs! Plant them again! All plants have natural lifespans, even perennials that come back year after year. Even your most successful, beautiful plants can just up and die on you and that's okay. You didn't do anything wrong, it's part of gardening.

[elderberries-and-honey]

hey idk if youve answered this but whats ur writing process like? im think of doing a story like decades challenge but ive never anything outside of gameplay really. also how far in advance do you plan is it like this gen or gens in the future? sorry for rambling

Hello! First, you don't ever have to apologize for rambling to me; I love a good ramble! And second, if you're wanting to do the decades challenge, I suggest going for it! It has really helped me find a medium to channel my love for writing and learn history along the way.

To answer your second question of how far in advance I plan, I do plan multiple generations at once. I have a basic outline from 1890 to the mid 1920's already planned out, and this includes Ozzy, Atticus and future children and most of the side characters as well like Beth, Millie and Valerie.

As for my process, it's a little more in-depth and I use a website called Milanote for note taking and tracking birthdays and Google Docs for a bigger spreadsheet and writing the story.

Sometimes I have the full scene already written out in advance, but most of the time, it will be few sentences to get the juices flowing or something I wrote down at a different time. I write small things all the time, like little pieces of dialogue, or a good prose that I don't want to forget.

I personally need to see what the scene will look like before I write it out. Mostly because if I write something, and then can't find a pose for it, I get frustrated. So I shoot the scene first, edit the photos, put them into a Tumblr draft, and then finish the writing with the photos there for me to look at. Lately, I've been taking a few photos and then the rest of the scene comes to me while I'm shooting, so I stop taking photos and write it down before I forget.

Anyway, once all the photos are taken and the first draft is finished, I copy and paste what I've just written into my Google Docs. From there, I let it do it's grammar / spell check thing (mostly because I have it set to British-English so I want to catch American spellings of things and change them for me), reread it and put it back into the draft on Tumblr.

After that, I read the scene outloud back to myself. This helps me catch any weird grammar errors that the computer missed, or any repetitive use of a word & then I replace them (I have an extension that looks for synonms for me). I also just feel reading it outloud back to yourself, helps you read it like it's a story vs you just like...saying what's happening, if that makes sense? Like if I'm finding myself bored just by saying it outloud, it will probably be boring to read.

I do this multiple times over before I decide I'm satisfied, and I usually do it one more time before I publish the post. After I like what I've written, I copy and paste that back into my Google Doc because I consider this "my hard copy".

There is also a lot more organization that goes into it than just this, so if you want to know how I organize things, I'd be happy to explain that as well. It's a lot of spreadsheets and notetaking, but you don't have to do that if you don't want to.

And, this is just what works for me, I can't stress that enough! Other people write the scene before they shoot, and that's perfectly fine too. My process has changed overtime and it's taken a bit of trial and error, but this is just what feels the most natural for me.

I hope this helps somewhat and isn't too overwhelming. You can always do more gameplay than writing if that's what works for you, or build a story with gameplay. So don't let this scare or intimidate you! Either way, good luck with your decades challenge!

[echobx]

saw this ask game and decided to answer all so you guys can get to know me better

1. Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

it depends. I usually have my multi-chapterdd fics already done before posting them, so in my head they are stored as one shots. I know, weird. anyway...

I think oneshots are easier for me bc it's all fix and I don't get the urge to want to go back and change things. but I'm trying out the chaptered way with Timeloop and I can fix him (no really I can) and we'll see how I like it... but I'm only doing it like that bc idk how long they'll be and I wanted to post something and not wait months for them to be done before I post it all.

so maybe one-shots when it comes to [tumblr]

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

I usually write as I go. I have a few points that I have to get to but I let it flow, let the characters choose their path to make it feel more natural when things go down.

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

I usually have something in my head that needs to happen and then I sit down when I feel like I'll be able to write it and just try.

I don't always look for playlists but sometimes it helps to listen to my sex playlist for smut or my falling in love playlist for slowburns or something.

I mostly just let inspiration hit me ig, idk how to explain it 😭

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

songs, tv shows, movies, other written work (books or stuff I read on here) my dreams... anything really. a lot of times it's just daydreaming.

5. Do you like constructive criticism?

yes, I love it, I get way too little of it.

as long as you are being respectful please tell me off lol, especially when it comes to grammar and sentence structures bc I'm not native in English and I'll be happy to learn and change things when you tell ne that something is wrong.

6. Do you have your work beta'd? How important is this to your process?

I tried beta-ing one of my fics with my friends, but life gets in the way and they didn't have much time to read and give me feedback, so I decided to not do it for whole fics anymore and just sporadically

7. How do you choose which POV to write from?

ig that fully depends on how the scene feels to me. I once got halfway in a chapter and had to rewrite the whole thing bc I realized it didn't make much sense to tell it from that pov and not the other. and now it feels so much more natural than before. but that is just as much trial and error at times as everything else.

8. Do you prefer the beginning, middle, or end of a story?

i don't really have a preference there. for some fics I can very clearly see the middle, but not the end or beginning, for others I see the start and end but not the in between and it gets a bit messy on the way. but all in all I'd say I'm just happy to be allowed to be there as these stories play in my head and that I get to write them down is even better.

9. Do you comment on stories you read?

yes, usually on ao3 on tumblr if I like it enough I'll reblog it, if I love it I reblog with comments or tags, that depends on my daily mood tho.

10. Cltr+f "blinks" on your WIP & copy paste the first sentence/paragraph that comes up

“What?” I cleared my throat and blinked a few times to get my mind cleared up.

aaaaah I love the scene this is from, also had to used blinked cause I usually write in past tense unless it's tumblr...

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

Safety Net by @mvybanks

The Blue by @quin-ns

Watch and Learn by @nadvs

12. how does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

a good feedback makes my day, literally

not getting any or getting barely any likes and no reblogs on my work, especially when it's something I've worked hard on, it's devastating really. I wish there was more appreciation for it, but I can't do much about it either.

13. what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

writer's block isn't really an issue to me anymore. when I have time to write but my mind blocks I'll just start writing anything and when it's shit I put it to the side and write something else or if I'm working on a chapter and it won't flow I go into a new document and try and write the chapter again from scratch and see how it goes. always in a new doc tho when I do that so I don't use anything I've written.

14. how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

okay, I write them, especially sad ones, when I myself am already sad af so I can exactly describe the bodily bs that happens to me when I'm sad

I do feel how they feel, especially when I later go to edit it, and then I have to take a break bc I'll start crying again lol

I mostly draw from personal experience when it gets to emotions, especially sad ones, bc it's just easier ig. it's waaay easier for me to write angst and hurt/comfort than anything else bc most of my life has been filled with those rather than fluff or even smut (idk how I write that, bc there's no experience there...)

15. How do you write smut scenes? Do you get very visual or detailed? How important is it to be realistic?

I try my best to keep it visually accurate, like, so you can try and imagine it bc I hate when I read something and go "wait, how did they end up here?" yk? and I think it should have some sort of realism to it. but I can't really be 100% accurate bc I only know my own body and whatever I've seen online. I don't trust porn obvs bc it's not really reliable when it comes to normal sizes and shit (iykwim) but it does help with figuring out some of the positions. that's literally the only reason I look at it too, for research purposes 💀

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

2 that are being posted (timeloop and icfhnric)

15 that are just ideas (listen, my head never stands still)

1 that is like my heart child, and I'm scared to let it go but I will eventually

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

a complete lack of inspiration hasn't really happened to me yet, and I'm scared of the day it will. what I do have issues with is the type of writers block where I wanna write but my head feels too overwhelmed or too tired to process any thoughts so I'll see the fic in my head but my brain won't let me form sentences to put it on the screen. I've yet to figure out how to deal with that.

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

song inspired ones are always named after the song, so that's easy

anything else is either a good line that I discovered while writing or a quick quip that I came up with, most times during the end of it.

I still don't have proper titles for my Lovebirds fic, I have one for the second installment of it, but the other three are still only under their working title and I don't know if I'll even give the first one a title or if it'll just be "Before Lovebirds" which is bs and I hate it but idk what else to name it... (although that part has been done for months now)

19. What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

smut... lol I haven't used any funny tags yet

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

I use "just" way too much. and I keep starting sentences with And a lot. and I feel like once I find a bew word I'll keep using it until my brain grows bored of it.

21. Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story?

definitely, if they wanted to.

22. Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

I don't think I'm a dark romance girlie. I'm never gonna write mlm smut, because I just don't think it's my place to do that.

23. Best writing advice for other writers?

use placeholders for words you can't pinpoint, I usually go like this [walking slowly, dragging feet] and then I look up a synonym

when you get an idea, put it down, you'll think you're gonna remember later but you won't

24. Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?

to put chapter contents down in a pointed list instead of writing it out immediately

25. What fic do you wish you got more of a response on?

the It's... complicated one bc I worked hard on it and it's probably my best work yet imo

26. Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

my three part series the one with the abortion, notes and letter

27. What is your most and least favorite part of writing?

most favorite: describing angsty feelings

least: chit-chat bc I'm bad at it irl and idk how to write it to seem natural 😭

28. On average, how much writing do you get done in a day?

idk, some days I write so much and others I don't at all, so maybe 500-800 days on average daily

29. What’s your revision or editing process like?

first I do grammar checks, then I reread and see if the words are correct. most times I do the big parts of editing while writing bc I noticed that that's easier for me

30. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished?

I usually wait until it's polished, unless it's something I would have deleted from a bigger fic and don't want it to go to waste.

31. Do you start with the characters or the plot when writing?

plot, always.

32. Name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

from the top of my head: @princessmaybank @redhead1180 @mvybanks

33. Do you want to be published some day?

yes. but not my fanfic. I'd rather write something by myself and then get it published than go and write fanfic and change it later on to be able to publish it.

34. Five years from now, where do you see yourself as a writer?

finishing my first novel and maybe finding a publisher for it

35. What is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain?

that they don't need to be redeemable, I'd much rather keep some villains for true evil and not because they had a bad childhood or whatever

36. How do you write kissing scenes?

I try to write about how it affects the person who's pov it is, their emotions and physical sensations. I don't like dragging it out too much tho unless it's a big moment, like a first kiss.

37. How do you choose where to end a chapter?

I tend to do cliffhangers quite a lot bc I'm just prone to that bc of my love of television. but usually I end on a moment that feels like a natural stop while writing or sometimes I write without chapters in mind and when I add them later I make stops in between where it feels like the reading flow could stop and be picked up, but then I make sure that the chapters aren't too short or too long still

38. Would you ever write commissions?

oh definitely, I already take prompts and idk if it counts but I did write two private commissions for a friend in return for some art of my favorite character a scribble of my oc

39. Share a snippet from a WIP

“I don't want you to feel any pressure to do anything,” he brushed a few hair from my face and I nodded. “You're my dream girl, [redacted].” He pulled me closer into him, nuzzling his head into my neck and breathing lower. “My pretty girl.” I placed a kiss on his head and listened to his shallow breaths as I fell asleep. “Love you too,” I whispered while drifting off and hoping that he hadn't actually heard me.

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

I have a very specific scene in my head, but it not in the fic, it's only mentioned as a picture that they took and have set as their background picture. so to see that come to life would be incredible.

but I don't really have a preference other than that, when I write I see it all play out in my head like a movie scene so literally any moment can work as long as I described it well enough. and if needed I would go and give a lengthy description of every single detail if someone wabted me to

41. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

I reread a lot! it's part of how I try and get better at my work (apart from reading published books)

I especially reread a lot of my lovebirds fic so I can get back into writing when I haven't had worked on it in a while

42. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

The Charter by @blueicequeen19 and I'd tell the whole world to read it because it's just that good

43. Do you take a sadistic joy in whumping your characters, or are you more the "If you hurt them I would kill everyone and then myself" kind of person?

I whump too much tbh. like, especially my OC has had so much pain already in her life, but I feel like a few set backs are normal and it wouldn't feel natural to me if everything was just happy and perfect akl the time. to me these characters are people and people are messy by default.

I'm still very protective of them tho, and I wouldn't let any body go and fuck them other unless it has a purpose of some kind, either for the bad guy or them.

44. What mistakes do you keep making no matter how many times your beta corrects you?

I keep writing my when I mean me and vice versa, that's just a typing issue tho. I forgot prepositions and "the"s a lot. idk how to do comma shit. and I keep catching myself writing bearly instead of barely. bc they sound the same and I'm also dyslexic 😔

45. Do you want to break your readers‘ heart or make them laugh?

both if I can. but a part of me wants to know that I'm capable of making someone cry their eyes out. that feels pretty powerful to me bc I don't really cry too much when I read or watch something myself.

46. How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

emotions primarily ig, then characters. ig those two are very neatly intertwined bc most of the decisions they make are based on emotions or on the fact that they try to not let their emotions control them.

47. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

at least two times. even when I say it's not edited, I at least read it twice to get most mistakes out.

48. What do you look for in a beta?

that they are native English speaker probably, but I don't really do betas at the moment

49. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

I've never gotten one and if I would I'd probably just block the person and try to forget about it.

50. How long is your longest fic?

not posted and still working on it: around 500k

posted one shot: 19k

posted series: 16k

51. What’s your total AO3 word count?

38.4k on ao3 / 100k+ on tumblr

52. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I respond to most comments but I always feel a bit awkward bc I never know what to say

53. How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both?

primarily I write, I'd say 65/35 writing to reading ratio of the time I use on fanfic

54. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

being able to put the vision that I have in my head on screen, being allowed to use as much or as little details as I wish to. but most of all the fact that I know more about the whole narrative than the characters in it, the fact that I know when they are being unreliable or are lying to themselves or just don't know better.

55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

I'm definitely a JJ girlie, I'll always be even tho I noticed that people are more into Rafe...

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

a friend of mine keeps asking how the fuck I write so much and I honestly don't know. I just do. and I personally always feel like anything below 2k is not enough but I don't try to drag things out too much just to get more words in. so maybe that's it.

57. Do you prefer editing as you write, or waiting until it’s finished?

while writing for sure because it just makes the whole process faster than if I did it the other way round. but it took some time for me to get to the point where my in-writing editing makes the post-writing editing almost obsolete

58. What part of the writing process do you enjoy the most? (Brainstorming, outlining, writing, editing, etc)

writing for the most part. but I also love researching stuff.

59. Does anyone in your personal life know you write fic? if not, would you tell anyone?

only my friends. I wouldn't tell my parents and I'm glad they don't understand English bc if they did and found this blog I wouldn't be allowed to leave the house forever or they'd kick me out. which is ridiculous bc I'm an adult :'(

60. Have you had a writer you admire comment on your fic? What was that like?

yeah and it was the best feeling ever. makes me happy just thinking about it.

61. Why do you continue writing fics?

simply because I love writing and I choose to write for myself, not for anyone else. that's also why some prompts stay in my inbox for longer, because I need to find the right moment where I am content with writing it in a way that makes me feel happy about what I created.

62. Thoughts on cliffhangers?

love love love. can't get enough of them. use them all the time.

63. Something you hate to see in smut.

personally, I have mommy and daddy issues, so seeing it being sexualized is always weird to me. but I try to look past it and even when I write it bc it fits the character, it's still weird to me. but I would never tell anyone to not write it. I know a lot of ppl enjoy it a lot. it's just not my personal piece of cake.

another thing, which is just formatting ig, is when there's no warnings list. I think it's important to put at least a warnings list, especially for smut.

64. Something you love to see in smut.

aftercare. always. Even if it's just a quick scene of them lying in bed or something and just being soft with each other or talking about random things to cool down. I think it's really important.

65. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

right now I'm looking extremely heavily towards kinktober and starting on those projects and then seeing people read them in October.

I'm also super hyped over my oc lore bc I recently had a big breakthrough with the help of a friend, and now everything I had before makes so much more sense. it feels like I had always had known but the information was hidden and now I have it and I can see a crystal clear picture of her life and the life of her parents and grandparents and basically the whole family past and possible future.

66. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie. pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc.)?

I hate it. I'm trying to not let it get to me, I can only write when my brain let's me. But I do know that no matter how long it takes I will finish started projects.

67. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

I don't mind either. I love when it's a prompt or challenge that gives me creative freedom. like just a sentence or a single word prompt with a character is top notch bc I can go crazy on it all I want.

68. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

I listen to music mostly, sometimes tiktoks inspire me too. It's really anything that can give me inspiration.

69. What work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

the ghostface one. I don't even know why I posted it, but I'm not gonna delete it bc I think it's important for ppl to see the progress you made over time.

70. When asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

depends on the person. if it's my friends who I hold near and dear I'm not really embarrassed at all. I sometimes talk too much about writing and think I annoy them with it, but they always say it's okay so I guess I should believe them.

I think it's needs some type of connection and mutual respect for me to even be able to talk about it, so I wouldn't really talk to someone who I think would nake me feel embarrassed.

71. When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

I only put down dates, the rest is more or less stored in my brain. unless I write lore down somewhere for someone to read and give me feedback. then I take that and put it in a separate lore doc but I wouldn't really need to bc, like I said, mostly my brain will remember lore

72. What order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

when I started writing I did chronological, then I started to jump in between but that caused a lot of fuck ups and I couldn't remember what happened where, so I decided to rewrite my whole fic chronologically before posting it.

for prompts or just stuff that I post on here I always do linear/chronological if the narrative let's me

73. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

I don't really know. I guess I use a few phrases and words more than others would, and sometimes my sentences sound very german bc that's my native tongue. but those don't show up to me as mistakes when editing bc to my brain the sentences structure makes sense. that's probably all, but I don't really know.

74. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

maybe if they are familiar with my writing style, with the way I use certain words only in certain situations. or how I nickname some of the characters.

[cindylouwho-2]

RECENT ECOMMERCE NEWS (INCLUDING ETSY), Early June 2024

I am really slammed at the moment, so instead of a long intro, I'll hop right into the latest ecommerce news, including a ton of things going on at Etsy.

TOP NEWS & ARTICLES 

Incorrect Etsy shop suspensions continue at a hot pace right now; I wrote about another one here on LinkedIn, and made an Etsy forum thread. The shop was reopened within 24 hours of my post. There was also good news in the story of HeatherJordanJewelry. Etsy has decided to refund her the money she lost on the 2 cases opened after Etsy closed her shop. 

Still think Etsy isn’t serious about sellers who ship after their processing times? The corporation is now sending shop owners warnings that they will be deindexed in a month if they do not improve their shipping metrics before then.  

I’ve reached out to the seller for more details but haven’t yet heard back. 

eBay is testing Venmo as a payment option. They are also removing American Express as a credit card option.

ETSY NEWS 

A small number of Etsy sellers are reporting their items showing as sold out when they are actually available; Etsy is looking into it, but upping the quantity (when available) seems to fix the issue. 

In what may have been an accidental early release of a new Etsy feature, sharp-eyed sellers noticed that Etsy was inserting a video slot into some shops’ listings even when there was no video. Here is a screenshot (courtesy PriddeyThings):

When sellers clicked the “Request a video” button, they were told a request had been sent, but the seller did not receive anything. This is such a bad way to encourage more videos. Some sellers already receive pretty disgusting Messages asking for shots of them posing with/wearing the product for sale, and now they get to deal with video requests as well? 

Etsy Ads costs are all over the place for some sellers recently, oscillating back and forth by day [post by me on Patreon]. 

Etsy is testing AI overviews of reviews, and they are about as popular with sellers as you might guess [Reddit thread; includes screenshot]. The good news for OOAK and most vintage sellers is that they only appear on items that are listed in multiples. 

While non-US sellers have been reporting issues with Etsy’s new listing page and the domestic pricing tool for a year now, there are now some US sellers complaining of both listing price changes not sticking, and of shipping profile errors. 

No, the Etsy "new shop boost" does not last very long - and I have the citations to prove it. [post by me on Tumblr]

If you are having trouble installing the latest version of the Sell on Etsy app, make sure all previous versions have been removed from your phone 

Sellers in the EU who have been unable to opt out of Offsite Ads should try again, as this seller in France managed to get Support to help out.

Etsy is surveying sellers on their shipping practices and marking items shipped, but it is unclear why [post by me on LinkedIn]. Some sellers who were asked about specific orders are concerned they might be in trouble due to carrier delays or errors.

An Etsy staff member posted what can be described as a “newbie guide to Etsy Messages” in the Etsy forum. About a year too late to prevent many of the scams…

Sadly, this NPR podcast [podcast with transcript] has a lot of errors in it - e.g., vintage and supplies were on Etsy since the beginning - but it is correct that the fight between investors and sellers is at the core of what is wrong with the site today. 

Any Canadian seller wondering how Etsy deals with GST/HST, provincial sales taxes and even income taxes will find this article useful. My older blog post on the GST debacle is still valid on the GST/HST questions, but it is rather long due to highlighting the issues rather than just explaining what a seller needs to do. 

Is Josh Silverman overpaid compared to CEOs of similar-sized companies? We’ll see what happens at the next AGM. 

ECOMMERCE NEWS (minus social media)

Amazon

Amazon has FAA approval for flying its delivery drones longer distances. “Amazon is set to “immediately” scale its operations in College Station, Texas, so it can fly more drones and make deliveries in more densely populated areas that are farther out.”

eBay

eBay is testing AI searches; at least they admit it may be inaccurate. 

As of July 8, eBay is banning use of Bluecare Express and Aquiline as shipping carriers, which some sellers have used to circumvent dropshipping rules. 

Coming soon: the ability for US sellers to use eBay’s International Shipping services to ship domestically to Hawaii, Alaska, and Puerto Rico. 

Shopify

Shopify’s “Shop” app - which allows consumers to look through many different sites that run through Shopify - had  a “Shop Cash” promotion in the US last week, allowing users to earn extra credits towards future purchases. The Shop app is getting successful enough to start being counted as a marketplace-equivalent. 

Shopify now owns “Checkout Blocks”, an app that helps with easy customization of the checkout process. It will now be free to all Shopify Plus members. 

All Other Marketplaces

GoImagine has been sending out invites to lapsed sellers, boasting of better dashboards, and offering 2 months free. They still do not seem that interested in seller concerns about poor traffic, as this Reddit thread demonstrates. [It's worth noting that Etsy had only 7 million sellers in the first quarter; GoImagine seems to be using figures based on all 3 of Etsy's marketplaces (including Depop & Reverb), but badly out of date ones, as active sellers on all 3 marketplaces were 9.1 million in the first quarter, not 8.3 million. Not exactly inspiring confidence!] 

Temu’s user numbers mean it now will have to comply with the EU’s Digital Services Act as a Very Large Online Platform (VLOP). “DSA obligations for VLOPs include assessing and mitigating systemic risks related to their services such as the listing and sale of counterfeit goods, unsafe or illegal products, and items that infringe intellectual property rights.” This might be good news for businesses who have had their photos stolen and posted there.

Payment Processing

PayPal is building its own ad network. “The company plans to expand [“Advanced Offers”] to sell ads to brands outside of its merchant network that could be displayed across the web and connected TV.”

Do you have any hot ecommerce and Etsy news you would like to see me cover? Email me, and I promise to keep the source confidential if you want me to!

Get these updates plus my website blog posts via email: http://bit.ly/CindyLouWho2Blog Get all of the most timely updates plus exclusive content by supporting my Patreon: patreon.com/CindyLouWho2

[okthatsgreat]

20, 22, 29, 40, 56, and 75-77 for ODIETLG specifically

Picking your brain is one of my favourite Tumblr hobbies

ITS GREAT THATS ONE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES BC IM A BIG FAN OF TALKING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

20. have you noticed any patterns in your fics? words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc? UMMMM call me the forgetter the way i forget..... there are definitely words/expressions that show up a lot definitely. im sure if i looked hard enough id be able to see them GHFDJGSDFKG aaaaaannnnd as for themes i noticed ive been writing a lot on trauma and some of the uglier side effects of it ESPECIALLY when put in a situation that does not encourage healing or anything like that other than that I AM REALLY BLANKING THERE ARE DEFINITELY SO MANY MORE COMPARISONS TO BE DRAWN LMFAOOOO

22. are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc) hmmmmm i do a LOT of genfics and im not that much of a purely romantic type of guy yknow..... i dont see myself doing anything like that in the future i reckon! unless its a gift or something :). in the same vein i dont think ill be posting smut on my main ao3 either just bc i feel like itd really come out of left field ghfjkdgshdjkfgh.

29. what’s your revision or editing process like? i stare at it. hope google docs caught any spelling errors. convert it into ao3. hope ao3 caught any spelling errors. send it out. wake up the next morning and grimace so hard

40. if someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see? IF ANYBODY MAKES FANART OF MY WORK I CRY IMMEDIATELY YOU HAVE NO IDEAAA HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME SERIOUSLY. ohhhh there are a lot of big scenes in fics ooooo............. if youre looking for a dramatic piece of fanart then the miu+kokichi confrontation in lgowab is a good one. the sonia+akane conversation in opddmh could be cute........... like them on the floor looking up yknow. like a little comic. i can see it in my brain. and oooo a lot of interactions from that second last chapter of odietlg when the whole place is falling apart ................................

56. what’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on? BWAH uhm the characterisation :) i try to keep them in character but also make them feel a little more real if that makes senseee

75. what scene in odietlg took the longest to write? what was difficult about it?  ooo its been a while hm. odietlg was during a time i had a LOTT of time on my hands so i was whipping through chapters so fast it was crazy. um. maybe the finale???? just because it was a lot longer than most chapters and i kept going back to flip a few things around and all of that :))

76. did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of odietlg?  I DONT HAVE A DISCORD CHANNEL FOR THIS ONE SO THERE ISNT A LOT OF EVIDENCCEEEEEE let me think let me think. because this story was more interactive there were a few scenes that didnt make the cut solely because it wasnt voted for!!!!! i know there were MULTIPLE executions that were avoided during that miu gonta trial. there were a few more scenes including a tsumugi conversation that got cut in favour of the tenko/himiko chat in the bunker. ummmmmm unrelated to any sort of poll im really unsure!!! odietlg had a lot less planning which means a lot of initial ideas made the final cut!! i think tenko nearly started hearing other "voices" other than angie but i decided against that just bc it was never supposed to be supernatural or anything

77. do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from odietlg story/chapter?  OOOO THERE ARE A FEW SCENES I ENJOYED WRITING i think one of my favorites has to be the final 3am encounter with shuichi and tenko. it really just felt like all of those conversations were building up to this last one and i loved writing the setting and loved writing their interaction bc it just felt like a great culmination of their character development up until that point but ESPECIALLY tenkos :)

ASK GAME!!!

[ajaywithcrowfeathers]

There are many benefits to being a marine herpetologist

This is my gift to @justanerdwithatablet as part of the DCA Secret Santa 2022! I was mostly inspired by a mix of: enemies to friends (speed-run edition), Unhinged Sun™, and hurt/comfort. Also, Song of a Siren Mer!AU by SolarRush (which I absolutely loved reading) herpetology/sea snakes, and the tumblr post by theaimfiles he reblogged which said “sharp canines and glowing eyes are top tier character design” (which is absolutely true)

Sorry about any errors, I tried to catch as many as I could but there still might be a couple hiding somewhere that I missed.

Here are the pronouns used: Sun: It/It’s in the beginning then they/them Moon: They/Them and He/Him Reader: He/Him  (I tried to use pronouns to show how connected to Sun and Moon the reader feels/how he feels like Sun is less like an animal later in the fic, I’m not sure if that shows through, but that’s what I intended)

If dialogue is in italics “like this” it means Sun or Moon are communicating telepathically.

I will also post this on AO3, if you would prefer to read it there

Without further ado, here is the fic, hope you enjoy!

Alright, just one more look around, then I’ll head back.” You tell yourself as you wade through the shallow ocean water. It’s been a long day of exploring these tide pools and cave systems, looking for the aquatic snakes you’re researching. Unfortunately you haven’t been able to find any today. 

Suddenly, a glimmer of orange scales catches your attention. You turn and look into the cave entrance where you think you saw the end of a tail. The color was odd though, as far as you know none of the snakes or other aquatic reptiles in this area have such bright orange scales. The possibility of discovering a new species or color morph replaces your exhaustion from a hard day of exploring with determination. You crouch down, peering into the cave entrance. It’s one of the largest you’ve seen in this area, definitely big enough for you to fit into even with the proper diving and safety equipment. 

At first you think your haste may have scared away the animal, but as you look deeper in the cave you see something glowing faintly. Something is looking back. Eyes, human eyes. Or mostly human, except for the lack of pupil and iris, and the lightly glowing milky sclera. The eyes are part of a similarly mostly-human face. The general shape looks human, but instead of skin it’s covered in small scales, yellow on the right and off-white on the left in the rough shape of a crescent moon. The nose looks very flat, mostly a small raised bump with two nostrils that seem to have flaps covering them while the creature is underwater. 

You know you shouldn’t project human emotions onto non-human things, but this creature looks a lot more human than most, and it definitely looks scared. 

The tense moment of eye contact swiftly breaks as the creature turns and dives smoothly into the cave. At least you get to see more of it as it flees. It definitely has a tail, and a massive one at that. It reminds you of a Naga, a mythical half-man half-snake creature you read about several years ago. Its tail is yellow-orange with splotches of red, but most concerning you notice several fresh wounds. 

You stand frozen in shock for a few moments, you’re still struggling to process the last few seconds and figure out if you slept in today and are currently dreaming. Only one thing is clear in your mind: whatever that creature was, it was clearly injured. 

Determined not to allow this strange being to suffer, you rush back to your base to gather the supplies you will need. 

After gathering your med kit and the salmon you were planning on eating for dinner you made your way back to the cave entrance. 

You gaze down into the cave and hold the salmon out in the water. You're hoping the smell of easy prey will lure the creature back out, and it accepts the salmon as a peace offering instead of deciding to eat you instead. 

You search the dark waters for those mysterious glowing eyes, or a glimmer of warm scales. Unfortunately, the sun has started to set, making it even more difficult to see into the cave. 

Thankfully, the darkness makes the glowing eyes even more apparent when the creature finally emerges a few minutes later. 

You hold the salmon out as far away as you can, and try to keep your fingers tucked away. You’re only just realizing how potentially stupid this is. Then again, you never were one to think much about your own safety when others were in danger. 

All you can see from the depths of the cave is the movement of the creature's eyes, which seem to be completely ignoring the fish. That's not a good sign. 

If only you had brought your head light, you may have had more warning. You may have been able to see the great tail coiling into position, the slim but strong arms grabbing an outcropping of rock for leverage. You may have seen the triangular fins around the creature's face flare as it bares its sharp fangs. 

Your weak human ears can not hear the warning hiss over the gentle ocean waves. 

If only you had brought your head light. 

In the split second it takes you to blink, the creature lunges from the depths of the caves. Your heart pounds in your chest and you sputter on salt water as you are instantly pinned by the hissing beast, its razor sharp fangs only inches from your vulnerable throat. 

You stare into its pearlescent eyes, trying to determine your fate. As you process the shock of nearly being killed you are fully aware that if the creature wanted you dead you would not still be breathing. You try to calm yourself, and look as non-threatening as possible. 

Slowly the hissing quiets, until it fades back into the sounds of the waves. Its jaw closes, but its teeth remain bared. The warning is quite clear: I won’t hurt you if you won’t hurt me. 

You start to speak, but your voice cracks both from lingering fear and dryness from the salt water you accidentally swallowed. 

“I-I don’t want to hurt you, I just want to help.” You try to keep your voice level and calm. You slowly bring your hand holding the salmon forward, taking care not to make any sudden movements. 

“This is for you, I wasn’t sure if you could hunt with those slashes on your tail.” You know the creature probably can’t understand your words, but you’ve been working with animals for long enough to know most can at least understand tone. 

Softly glowing eyes stare deeply into your own, they seem to see right to the core of you. Without breaking eye contact they grab the fish. Soft scaled fingers brush against your own, you can feel razor sharp claws carefully kept out of the way. 

The moment breaks, and the creature's eyes snap down to the piece of fish as they snatch it away from you. They inspect the filet closely, looking at all sides and flicking their long forked tongue out to sniff at it. Finally, they seem to deem it safe and take a small bite. The fins on their head ripple and they make a sort of trilling sound, then they unhinge their jaw and swallow it whole. 

With that distraction out of the way they focus on the med kit in your other hand. They tilt their head to the side, trying to figure out what the strange box is. 

“It’s a med kit, I saw the wounds on your tail earlier and I think I can use the supplies in it to help you heal.” You use the same calm tone as before and gesture slowly to their wounds. They look at their tail, then back to the med kit, then up at you. They then look back between you and the med kit several times, as if waiting for you to do something. 

A bit confused, you open up the kit, and allow them to look inside. They glide closer and inspect the contents of the kit, careful to not get any water inside. You can see their tongue up close as they sniff at the various supplies. It looks exactly like a sea snake tongue, except much, much larger than any you have seen. Of course, you’re never seen one attached to a human sized snake before either, so it was probably proportional. 

They seemed satisfied after a few moments of sniffing and examining, and closed the kit. They then took it from you and carefully held the handle between their jaws. 

“Wait! I don’t think you know how to use - ah!” Suddenly the creature reached out and grabbed you as well, thankfully not with their jaws this time. 

“What are you - ?!” Before you can finish the creature hugs you against their chest and dives into the water. 

Fortunately, they resurface quickly and you gasp in air instinctively. You struggle to free yourself, but the creature's hold is much too strong. You try to kick back behind you, but their tail easily dodges out of the way. 

The creature lowers back towards the surface and you quickly fill your lungs, hoping you’ll have enough oxygen to last until they resurface. They dive down, the only thing you can see is the cave entrance growing closer before you must close your eyes against the burning of the salt water. You can feel the smooth scales of the creature's stomach pressing against your back, and it's easy to feel the power within the muscles just below those scales.

After a panic filled minute you finally emerge. You wipe the salt from your eyes and look around, determining the creature took you to an air filled section deeper in the cave system. They gently set you down on a smooth rock ledge then clumsily shimmy out of the water to join you. You're so distracted by your lingering adrenaline and the somewhat ridiculous sight you don't even notice you're not alone. 

Without the ocean waves to disguise the warning hiss, it is easy to hear this time. It is deeper than before, and comes not from the creature in front of you, but from behind. 

You rapidly turn, and see a second creature. This one looks similar to the first, but is all blues and blacks with spots of yellow on their tail instead of oranges and reds. They also lack the triangular head fins of the other creature, and instead seem to have some kind of tattered hat. They are also covered in wounds, and seem extremely weak. 

They attempt to rear up and bear their fangs, but stumble and hiss in pain. The orange one immediately rushes to their side, seeming to try to comfort them. 

“Why did you bring a human here?!” You gasp in surprise as a low, rasping voice fills your mind. 

“Because he can help you, he has supplies, look!” A higher voice this time, it somehow reminds you of woodwind instruments. The orange creature holds out the med kit, the blue one glares and hisses at it. You decide you should probably try to help, you don't want his condition to deteriorate any further. 

“They're right, I just want to help you.” You try to sound as reassuring as possible. 

“He can, understand us?” Asks the blue one, he does not seem happy about this development. 

“I…may have connected with him earlier…” The orange one seems a bit sheepish as they admit this. 

“You… WHAT?” 

“I needed to see if he was trustworthy, and he is! We need his help Moon, you know you won’t last much longer, especially if infection catches...”  They look deep into the others eyes, trying to make him understand. “You're all I have left brother, I can't lose you too.” 

The blue one, presumably Moon, looks away with a hiss. He turns his attention to you. In only a few seconds he has you pinned, his bared fangs barely an inch from your nose. For the second time today inhuman eyes stare deeply into your own. The sclera in his right eye is pearlescent white like his brothers, but his left is pitch black. His pupils are glowing red slits. After what seems like an eternity, he looks away. 

“Fine. But if he betrays us, I'm blaming you.” The orange creature seems to grin at this, or they could be baring their fangs again. It's hard to tell with all the teeth. 

“Good! I suppose introductions are in order then. My name is Sun, and this is my brother Moon.”

I hope you enjoyed reading and have a lovely day, - AJ

[afreakingdork]

What's Next?

Hey, everybody! Gosh, I was really hoping I would have polls to make this more interactive, but sadly tumblr said that is not to be! Since Crush Too Much has ended, I was hoping to ask y'all how you wanted it to be posted up on ao3, but without polls I'll just have to decide.

Therefore, starting tomorrow and for the next 22 days I'm going to be throwing up the chapters of Crush Too Much on ao3!

To celebrate the occasion and hopefully make it fun for people who have already read, I'll be doing a daily post here that include bonus content from thoughts to a timeline and whatever notes I had been pouring over when i was writing! I'm also going through and re-editing the fic because I definitely missed a bunch of dumb technical errors. While I can't promise they'll all be totally eradicated (editing 😩), I can hopefully say that it will confidently read a little better in some ways! Sadly, we'll be losing the color with an ao3 posting, but I hope the chapter titles make up for that.

What's next?

I once stated in an ask that my timeline didn't include anymore rottmntxreader fanfiction because I needed to finish my incomplete kacchako fics and start my original story. That is still the plan, but.... well.... since then I... may or may not have.... uh.... written pages and pages and pages for a new donniexreader fic.... Willpower be damned... I'm still putting it together and I am not allowing myself to really get into it without at least STARTING to finish my other fics, but may I present to you:

Weak Spot

A RotTMNT Donatello x Fem!Reader explicit fanfiction that will explore romance and love when your partner just so happens to be a villain.

That's right! it's going to be a villain!Donniexreader fanfic! It's going to be porn with plot and way more freeform than Crush Too Much. To clarify, they are totally unrelated and unlike it's predecessor, it does not have a single overarching story to tell. Instead, as I said, I just want to languidly explore the many facets of love and self when it comes to good and evil. Since I'll be writing it concurrently while finishing my other fanfics, please note that updates will be longer in between and I still have no schedule. I can tell you that I think about it constantly so expect the first chapter starting next month without a doubt.

I also want to address the shift to a fem!reader. I feel like I'm letting down my audience by not continuing to make reader gender neutral. There's been an ongoing discussion of how to write gender neutral sex and though I know I should push myself, I also find myself leaning back into the comfort of what I know. I going to really push to skirt the line as much as possible tthough, so reader will be generic as possible most of the time. I do truly apologize for the shift and will continue to work to improve my writing.

If you're curious about the process, I have a membership tier on my ko-fi where I'll be throwing up WIPs and other details/notes about Weak Spot as I write! Otherwise, all posted chapters will be going up on there/here/ao3 generally as well. If you're curious, a follow is always free~

Speaking of follows...?

I am less than 50 followers away from 1000! I'm still on track to hold that giveaway contest and write that one-shot when we hit it! Thank you so much for following along and I can't wait until we can celebrate!!! 🎉

I think that clears everything up! I'm always open to hearing your thoughts and I'm super excited for what this year seems to be bringing 😃 I seriously cannot thank each and every one of you enough. My life is different now and truly for the better because of all of you!