#this is not even half the fics i love
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âŠ..I should be working rn but one of the songs in my playlist hit harder than usual so
#maccadam#transformers#deadlock#idw deadlock#drift#ratchet#idw ratchet#dratchet#ratchlock#also#this kind of fics that makes them run into each other during the war#while Ratchet is younger and Drift is still Deadlock#i love them#*stops shooting* oh hey Doc#*stops shooting* oh hey kid#both proceed to just casually ignoring each otherâs fractions#Deadlock would never even think of killing Ratchet and Ratchet would never betray this trust#âŠâŠ.sometimes I like to think that tfp Ratchet doesnât like being called âdocâ because that was how tfp Deadlock called him#one day I gather enough motivation to draw that one comic I was thinking about for half a year now#about tfp Deadlock arriving to earth to rejoin Megatron#and then humans and Autobots at some point discovering his fucked up romantic situation with Ratchet#âŠ.I just thought I probably would need to make Deadlock flying alt mode so heâs not completely useless in space and sky#eh idk#I just wanna draw everyoneâs O_O faces when Decepticonâs high in command just casually calls Ratchet doc or Ratch or smth#oh wow I got carried away with these tags
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Sauron, Galadriel, & Tolkien's Theology of Repentance - Part One
Summary: Character meta analysis on Sauron (and Galadriel, through the lens of Sauron). Based on both Silmarillion & RoP canon. 3.5k words. Discussion of Catholic theology involved. Blanket TW for discussion of violence, manipulation, etc., because Sauron. Spoilers for S1 & S2 and the Silmarillion, of course. The tragedy of Sauron is that he gets offered so many legitimate chances at redemption and forgiveness, and he denies them every single time. But we know he wants absolution, because thatâs what he sees Galadriel as: his chance to bind himself back to the light, to be Mairon again, to heal the pain that he caused and that was caused to him under Morgoth. But because he has such a warped view of himself and his actions, he dismisses genuine extensions of compassion, forgiveness, and care as simultaneously beneath him and too good for him. And yet, he still pursues redemption, but through none of the channels offered to him.
In The Rings of Power, heâs given the explicit instruction to change for the good in the village after heâs reborn. Heâs given the chance leave his past behind and work meaningfully in NĂșmenor. Heâs given the chance to redeem himself by Galadriel's offer of friendship (or love, depending on your interpretation). In the Silmarillion, he's even given the chance by EönwĂ« himself, and comes close to leaving Morgoth behind completely!
Let's look at this passage from Of the Rings of Power and the Third Age (emphasis mine):
When Thangorodrim was broken and Morgoth overthrown, Sauron put on his fair hue again and did obeisance to Eönwë the herald of Manwë, and abjured all his evil deeds. And some hold that this was not at first falsely done, but that Sauron in truth repented, if only out of fear, being dismayed by the fall of Morgoth and the great wrath of the Lords of the West. But it was not in the power of Eönwë to pardon those of his own order, and he commanded Sauron to return to Aman and there receive the judgement of Manwë. Then Sauron was ashamed, and he was unwilling to return in humiliation to receive from the Valar a sentence, it might be, of long servitude in proof of his good faith; for under Morgoth his power had been great. Therefore when Eönwë departed he hid himself in Middle-earth; and he fell back into evil, for the bonds that Morgoth had laid upon him were very strong.
This passage is clear that Eönwë is willing to pardon Sauron--he simply did not posses the power to do so. But when Sauron was told he must appeal directly Manwë, he gave up entirely and skulked back to Middle-earth. There are a few ways to read this:
1. He was not wholly repentant
Sauron simply wanted the protection of a new master in the absence of Melkor. i.e., he was rather fickle and simply wanted to be on whatever the "winning" side was. This is supported by the text literally saying that at least some of his obeisance was completely false, and that he only made a point of feeling bad about anything once his master had been chucked into the Void and his armies and strongholds were being destroyed (Thangorodrim). In this reading, perhaps Eönwë saw Sauron's treachery and referred him to Manwë knowing that it would be a test of his true intent. However, while a valid interpretation, I believe this to be the less holistic of the two.
2. He was truly repentant
Sauron did truly feel badly and "abjured all his evil deeds," but he was unwilling/unable to humble himself after being so fundamentally broken by Melkor and developing an insatiable power lust (hey, he isn't defined in the narrative by lust and pride for nothing).
Earlier in this same chapter, Tolkien wrote that Sauron could "...deceive all but the most wary." This is in the specific context of his physical shapeshifting. But, I would argue that this can also be tied to his lies. Tolkien has a specific ethic of beauty, where physical perfection is equated with moral goodness. Sauron completely inverts what is otherwise a hard and fast rule within Tolkien's writings by being the character most frequently described as "fair"--seven times to LĂșthien's six, and she was the most beautiful woman to have ever lived!
(Side note: I have another post on Tolkien & beauty in the works where I'll get more into this idea)
Why does this matter? Even though this interaction with Eönwë takes place in the First Age, Sauron could at this point be in the demonic form Mirdania describes in the forge. And, I am inclined to believe that Eönwë, as the head Maiar and herald of Manwë, would be a pretty wary guy, and thus able to sense any of Sauron's trickery. I read this to mean that Eönwë looked at Sauron and saw his potential to be Mairon again, either in absence of his evil form or in spite of it.
Because Sauron is incredibly beautiful. And even if it is a disguise of the true, depreciated form of his spiritual essence, he presented himself to Eönwë at his most beautiful. He wanted, even in his act of repentance, to make himself more favorable in Eönwë's eyes. To show up as Mairon (who was likely close friends with Eönwë before everything went down, since they are considered to be two of the most powerful Maia and would have worked closely together).
But I don't think this was all manipulation on Sauron's end. I agree with the scholars mentioned in the text who believed that Sauron was truly repentant--which is why Eönwë even bothered referring him to Manwë instead of kicking him into the Void with Melkor.
And this is the tragedy: Sauron is told exactly how to repent, and believes fundamentally that it is an impossible path for him. And yet, he still longs so intrinsically for it! He was, under Aulë, a Maia of precision, perfection, and order. Under Morgoth, he feels disordered, dis-regulated. He needs to correct the fundamental imbalance within him, so why does he flee Eönwë?
It comes back to Sauron's pride.
If he follows through with this path of reconciliation, there is no way he can hide or pretend his actions away. If he cannot trick his fellow Maiar, he certainly cannot trick the Valar. And he cannot stand the idea of submitting himself back under their rule, especially now that he has tasted power. This is a pride wound; it is why the idea of confessing to Manwë would be humiliating to him as opposed to just upsetting/uncomfortable.
Again, the pivotal moment: he is told how to make amends for crimes and determines that he cannot do it. So he returns to Middle-earth and stews in his own self-hated and self-pity for a few years. In that time, he consciously or subconsciously latches onto Eönwë's offer--forgiveness from penance. It is the way forward. And if he cannot earn penance at Manwë's hand, he will do it on his own.
The Prodigal Son
This is where we have to talk about the Catholic roots of Tolkien's work for a moment. The scene where Sauron approaches Eönwë mirrors the biblical parable of the prodigal son. In this story, a man abandons his family, spends all his money, and falls into ruin. But when he recognizes his failings and returns to his father to get help, he is welcomed back into the family without question--in other words, he is forgiven and restored to his former position.
17Â But when he [the prodigal son] came to himself he said, âHow many of my fatherâs hired hands have bread enough and to spare, but here I am dying of hunger! 18Â I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, âFather, I have sinned against heaven and before you; 19Â I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me like one of your hired hands.ââ 20Â So he set off and went to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him. - Luke 15:11-32, NRSV CE (emphasis mine)
The parallel is clear; Mairon, the repentant Maia, returns home with hopes of reconciliation. He is prescribed the same task that the prodigal son offered to his father: he must be bound in servitude to his father/creator in order to pay off his debts. This is a deliberate allusion from Tolkien. The story of the prodigal son models the path of reconciliation that Eönwë describes. Tolkien seems to be drawing a line in the sand with this: Sauron is unwilling to do the work required by the Valar for repentance, so he is unable to receive the grace of a warm welcome back into the fold of the Ainur. Since he did not humble himself, he has to be told to do it. And he does not want to! He wants to be loved, but he also wants his power--evidence, in a way, of how his character was fundamentally altered in his time with Morgoth.
His pride--and his fear--cut him off from the potential of grace. He does not know for certain that Manwë would subject him to servitude (though I would argue that it's textually evident that it is a custom), but this assumption leads him to flee, which allows him to slip back into his old ways.
He wants to be Mairon (admirable) again, not Sauron (abhorrent). He wants to be accepted and loved, but not punished. He wants the benefits of reconciliation without the work he would have to do to earn it or the shame he would feel as he did. It's pride, but it's also deep shame--the flip side of his extreme ego is an implicit self-hatred, one that we can see in the subtext of how he speaks about himself and about his time with Morgoth.
Even the language Tolkien uses is heavily shame-coded, especially in a Catholic context; Mairon did not go willingly, he was "seduced." He admits to Celebrimbor that he was "tortured by a god". It becomes exceedingly clear through both text and on-screen canon that Sauron was routinely broken and abused for centuries. This has fundamentally damaged his self-perception, which is ultimately what leads him to "[fall] back into evil"--whether due to pride or shame, he hides, perhaps because he consciously or subconsciously does not believe that he deserves forgiveness, no matter how much he craves it.
Naked in the Garden
His flight back to Middle-earth after meeting Eönwë is reminiscent of another biblical scene, where Adam and Eve, after committing the first sin, hide from God in shame and fear (emphasis mine):
7 Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked...9 But the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, âWhere are you?â 10Â He said, âI heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.â -Genesis 7-10, NRSV CE
The image of nakedness is, here, one of vulnerability, and Tolkien establishes that Sauron fears that which he cannot control. He needs the Rings under his power. He needs his armies and his enemies under his watchful eye. He is petrified of letting his power slip away (possibly due to never wanting to feel powerless in the hands of a Vala, fallen or not, again).
The biblical allusion here hearkens back to the fear Tolkien describes Sauron as feeling regarding his return to the Ainur. In the religious system Tolkien has established, which is likely inspired by his own religious beliefs, Sauron has sinned, and must make penance. But he is afraid of God/Manwë, and does not want to "let go" of his sin. In other words, he is not truly repentant. This reflects the Catholic sacrament of confession, which requires self-reflection and resolve to never commit the sin again.
Instead of shame driving him to contrition, it drives him to isolation.
But he still wants forgiveness. So, in his years of hiding in Middle-earth, he decides to earn it himself. His own way.
Enter the Rings.
Sauron wants to perfect the wrong he wreaked so that he can both earn his way back into the Ainur and keep his power. But what he does not realize is that this does not work. Eönwë is clear that he must forsake his true temptation--absolute power--through penance by submission. Yet Sauron in his pride thinks he can have it all. Sauron is a very carefully controlled villain, and the only times he snaps or makes significant mistakes are when his inflated self-perception is challenged, revealing the self-loathing and/or self-pity underneath. The best example of this is when he kills Celebrimbor prematurely, and cries afterwards. Why? Because Celebrimbor was right about him, and he hates it. He hates knowing that he is nothing more than the Morgoth's shadow, because Morgoth was his master as much as he was his tormentor. As Sauron puts it, his relationship with Morgoth was often defined by pain as a test to see "whose will was the mightier":
This image carries more shame, both in its implicit sexual connotations and in the simple power dynamic of it. Sauron, even though misguided, is rallying against Morgoth. He wants to break what Morgoth has created and build something new, something better, something apart from his old master entirely. But Celebrimbor confronts him with reality: he has not created something new, and perfect, and special, as he so wanted to--he can only act in imitation, not in generation. And when he got close with the Rings, it cost him everything. It's almost like he wants the power of a Vala, and loathes that he cannot attain it.
And this is why he becomes so singularly obsessed with Galadriel.
Sheâs his foil. They both crave power and adoration, but in the end of things, she does not fold under his temptation. She turns down everything she has ever wanted for the greater good and for the sake of her own soul. Sauron looks at Galadriel and perceives that she would have succeeded at EönwĂ«'s test because she is willing and able to humble herself. This maddens him to the point of both desiring her and desiring to break her.
She learns that she is easily tempted and becomes strong enough to handle it (through a lot of tough love from Elrond & co.). She has to learn how to do it, but she is able to.
She grows from someone who resisted and rejected authority to someone who is trusted as an authority because of her ability to wield it wisely (see: Gil-galad allowing her to answer for him in 2x08).
In other words, she earns the trust, love, and support of her community. Sauron has to force his to complyâit is an illusion of love.
His possessive obsession with her also stems from her fairness. She was the object of her uncle FĂ«anor's obsessive desire for creation as well. Her hair was the inspiration of the Silmarils (see: The History of Galadriel and Celeborn; The Shibboleth of FĂ«anor - source with page #s here), which Morgoth desired more than anything to possess.
Sauron, wanting to spite his master, wants one better--to own that which inspired the Silmarils, to own the image of fairness (and thus of moral good) completely. This is why he wants to bind himself to her. This is why he needs her. He sees Galadriel as his mechanism of repentance, and his last triumph over Morgoth. Winning her is his salvation as much as it is proving that his will is the mightier. It is his way of dominating Morgoth. This starts, I think, as a genuine effort at proving himself to the Valar, but quickly consumes him entirely. He is overcome with the desire for revenge, just as Galadriel was at the beginning of the First Age.
And he sees this in her. Sees their similarities. Sees that she, too, is angry and lonely and so afraid of losing her power. And he leverages that to befriend her. This is where it gets ambiguous and you can read RoP as either painting the image of Sauron being earnest but completely misguided in his proposal, or you can see it as him being entirely manipulative.
I think the truth of that scene probably falls somewhere in the middle; just like when he presents himself to Eönwë, he is sincere in his desire, but only knows how to present it in an inherently contriving way. He does want to bind her to him, so he tries to only reveal to her the good aspect of that desire (and also of his desire for power, which he allows her to see because he believes that it is good and also because she understands it), and not the ugly underside of his internal struggle against Morgoth, the Valar, and himself.
And I do think, in his own way, he cared about her. Galadriel consistently shows kindness and compassion to him. In S1, they grow to know each other's minds and souls, and she considers him a close friend. He finds comfort in this, that someone could see the blackness of his heart and care for him anyway. He thought, in his isolation, that he lost that chance when he fled back to Middle-earth. And here is the very picture of the light itself telling him that she supports him, that she sees the good in him, that she wants to help him set the world to rights! Of course he is infatuated by this. Of course he also wants to use it. He is Sauron.
But Galadriel succeeds where he fails, so he stops playing nice and tries to forcibly drag her down with him. First, by baiting her with the image of the man she cared deeply for:
Then, by reminding her of all she is losing by rejecting him:
And she is still strong enough to say no. And not just to say no, but to shut the door completely. To look in the face of everything she has desired for centuries and turn it down, understanding that it will ruin her. Yes, she hesitates. Yes, she still wants it (wants him). But she wins the day by holding fast to the light that Sauron wishes so badly to bind himself to.
Because she has lost everything--her brother, her husband, the station as commander, the trust of her high king and best friend--and earns it back only through her resistance of her greatest temptation. It is a struggle, it is painful, it nearly kills her--but she does it. She wins the test that Sauron could not even bear to face.
In their headlong, self-sacrificial tendencies, they are the same. Both view themselves as fundamentally stronger/better than their peers while also being deeply lonely due to their self-imposed isolation (Galadriel's laser-focused hunt for revenge, Sauron's exile in Middle-earth). But to Galadriel, the light is more important than her pride.
For Sauron, the light is his source of pride. He desires it more than anything, but condemns himself to never being able to touch it due to his rejection of Eönwë's offer. Paradoxically, he tries to grasp at it through Galadriel, the living silmaril, and succeeds only in darkening her. We learn from Gil-galad in 2x08 that his crown piercing her flesh in an act of brutal domination nearly strips her soul from her and pitches it into the unseen world. In this, Sauron is saying: If I cannot have you, I will force you to need me. I will break you into loving me.
He says this to Celebrimbor as well. He no longer knows how to love properly. He only knows how to inflict pain until this object of his obessive desire needs him--just like how his immortal spirit was broken into submission by Morgoth. And isn't this revealing of his own sense of self? He refuses to suffer the path of light, but willingly suffers the maddening path of darkness because it is a comfortable, familiar suffering. One, he tells Celebrimbor, he even grew to enjoy (2x08). As the path of the Rings drive him madder and madder, his desire for the light (Galadriel) and the return of his power (Celebrimbor) become further disordered and corrupted until they culminate in him destroying them--and his chance at earning/owning them--entirely.
And this is Sauron's ultimate point of no return (which we will hopefully see in S3 đ€). The razing of Eregion and slaying of Celebrimbor were acts of petty rage he committed when his pride was injured. This was the final nail in the coffin. Galadriel, in her rejection of him, ruins what he sees as his true chance for redemption.
Galadriel, now stepping into the role of Eönwë, re-opens the invitation: "Heal yourself!" (2x08). But in rage and shame and stubborn pride, he turns it down again. I believe this is where his desire to heal Middle-earth shifts fundamentally into desire to dominate Middle-earth. He always wanted to rule, but now he wants to own.
#fae speaks#I spent hours pouring thru the Silm and RoP for this so if you enjoyed please let me know I'd love love love to talk about it more <33#sauron is my favorite freak in all of tolkien's lore rn I want to study him like a bug#btw this is saurondriel (and even silvergifting? if u squint) positive but with loads of nuance. i see haladriel as love and saurondriel as#possession. both are fun in fiction of course but I want to acknowledge how deeply messed up the dynamic is#but also! it's fiction! do whatever you want with it! if you want saurondriel to get a happy ending then do it <3#and send me the fic so i can read it because i'm team half-maia celebrian hehe#also if there are any glaring gaps in my knowledge of the silm pls lemme know it's been a minute since i've read it all the way through#part two will be on beauty and evil in tolkien's cosmology :)#tolkien#the silmarillion#the rings of power#rings of power#trop#rop#sauron#halbrand#annatar#galadriel#sauron x galadriel#saurondriel#haladriel#trop spoilers#trop season 2#trop meta#rop meta#rop theory#trop theory#celebrimbor#my metas
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Football AU: In which Carlos is a Premier League football player and Lando is his long-term boyfriend who owns a pottery business.
#football au#carlando#spent the afternoon making some socials for the boys and this au after spending yesterday brainstorming the setup with phebes#even though only half of it will be going into a fic because i want it established relationship and not getting together#but i've got thoughts on how/when they get together. you know... for lore purposes obviously#i just love the idea of long-term carlando always just being a thing and lando supporting carlos through much of his career#lando#carlos sainz#husbandsâą
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You gave those wounds to your god, Enki. Did you think they would heal so easily?
(Uh Oh! Someone gave the priest catholic guilt!)
#fear and hunger#enki ankarian#fear and hunger enki#funger#digital art#csp#illustration#my art#pixel art#enki#hiiiiiiiiiiii so fear and hunger is great!#played it for 4 hours last night for the first time and I love it đ„° Iâve made a half hours progress lol#I keep losing the save coin tosses#I canât believe this is what it took to make my art brain turn back on smh itâs patho all over again đ€Ł#not surprisingly enki is my fav immediately a sickly rude wizard priest? yeah thatâs my number lol#fun fact I edited a wiki for the first time while making this#his page didnât have his crucifixion dialogue and I couldnât find a transcript anywhere#so I had to go find a video with the scene so I could transcribe it myself#and I was so annoyed by the end I added it to the wiki đ hopefully I did it right I copied the format of the rest of the page#(note that I didnât even own the game at this point akkajdksdj)#also! this is partially based on a fic I read! it got me thinking about how heâs walking around w stigmata#also part of why I even knew there was crucifixtion dialogue#Iâll link it in a reblog I donât remember the name rn#oh wait should I tag this for blood? idk#tw blood#insects
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[Desmond Miles has successfully saved a Levantine village during the Third Crusaders after waking up in the past.]
Grateful civilian: Thank you, stranger! You have saved our village from the cruelty of war. May we ask who you are so we may know the name of our savior?
[Desmond Miles believes he cannot say âDesmond Milesâ because that might accidentally create a ripple effect in the future.]
[Desmond Miles believes he cannot use any of the names of the ancestors who havenât been born yet especially the Kenways because of how important they are to his history.]
[Desmond Miles has not yet processed the shock of dying a painful death and waking up in the past and his brain is blanking.]
Desmond: AltaĂŻr Ibn-La'Ahad.
[The people Desmond Miles have saved now believed their saviorâs name is AltaĂŻr Ibn-La'Ahad.]
[Desmond Miles has committed identity fraud.]
[⊠and he will continue to commit identity fraud.]
#we interrupt teecupâs attempts to replying to all the pending replies + asks#to post this half-crack(?) idea#brought by joongdok identity fraud love language#im sorry guess ive been taken in by orv#one day i might even get an actual orv x ac idea#for nowâŠ#assassin's creed#desmond miles#teecup writes/has a plot#fic idea: assassin's creed#altaĂŻr ibn la'ahad
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I'm gonna be shitting and screaming and starting fights if Sera becomes a villain. I can't take sibling angst, Sera loves Emily I swear guys believe meeee.
#im making a fanfic of two and a half halos and the mc is Emily and it focuses alot on her and sera's dynamic#ill probablg send it here when im done. in 100 years because i havent finished a fic in 20 centuries#hazbin hotel sera#seraphim#hazbin sera#emily hazbin hotel#hazbin emily#hazbin hotel emily#emily seraphim#hazbin hotel#PLEASE DONT MENTION HAND PLACEMENF PLEASE /S#I WAS DRAWINF THIS AT 3 AM AND I KEPT BLACKINF OUT BUT I KNEW ID LOSE MOTIVATION IF I DIDNT FINISH#I DIDNT NOTICE UNTIL I WAS DONE SO PLS JST- IDK. JST LOOK AT MY BABIES#i headcanon Sera as trans. for pride month i have the idea of putting every ship and character under their pride flags#sooo sera is gonna be covered with a trans flag and emily... also trans becauze everyone is trans becauze o said so#charlie is ALSO trans because i said so#i came up wit trans sera on my own(idk if it existed be4 but i jst thot of it and got all happy cuz she is so trans idc) but#i freaking love trans emoly and trans charlie so for a bit i felt wrong for hc so many characters as trans#rhen i woke up one day and was loke. yeah idgaf they all trans cuz theres not enoigh#like im not gonna ALAAYS depict them as trans except sera(she is 100% trans to me) i like the other hcs for fun. im so srs for sera i đ her#sera just wants to hug her huggable sister sometimes and thats ok! đđ#art#fanart#artists on tumblr#digital art#*in stupid egg boy voice* i wish Sera would hold ME in her arms... đ#gave them snouts because i cannot deal with the no noses. it genuinely disturbs me. have yall SEEN velvettes side profile omfg đš#my babies... i just want them to be happy. why must there be sibling angst... they jst want to do whats right âčïž#im gonna fight to protect Sera from spme of yall fr fr cuz she do not deserve to be SO hated. JST. JST GET TO KNO HER I SWEAR SHE COOL#like i get it. what she doin is wrong. but if you was in her shoes you know you would do the same dont even lieeee đš
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Inspired by an idea from another fandom but; Danny has obvious trauma concerning adoption and is already aged out anyway- but for once every single sibling wants a new family member because Danny is... Danny.
He doesn't get upset over their wacky schedules, doesn't even blink at their chaotic dinners and family times, and manages to handle each of their unique ways of communicating without getting too confused or misunderstanding.
So when adoption is out of the picture? So begins the fight to marry Danny and make him a Wayne.
#danny phantom#batfam#dc comics#fic idea#i just imagine this started out as an innocent query on how to make danny family and ended in a brawl#i also like that danny would probably click with a lot of the batfamily#and also manage to handle their communication issues#because he handles ghost and also manages sam and tucker#damian is out of the running almost instantly as he only tries the once#danny turns him down gently and invites him to play with cujo anytime#half the contestants arent even fighting seriously they're just fighting for fun or on principal#side eye stephanie and tim here#duke tries the normal approach and gets whacked by danny being dense#alfred almost sets them all in timeout when he catches wind of this#but really would love to have his new grandson-in-law over more often#bruce has no clue whats happening
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wish you were here
#persona 3#kotone shiomi#akihiko sanada#akiham#Cubey's Art#drew this a while ago and forgot to post it lol#I realized that akihikoâŠâŠ.. probably doesnât have many pictures of his family#and heâs a shy kid too#one of those people who likely doesnât love having his picture taken even at the best of times#he probably humoured Kotone when she wanted to goof around in a random shitty photo booth at the local strip mall#an old analog one where the film is all expired and the colours are slightly off#and then he just kind of forgot about it until the girls were cleaning out her room and found the strip in an overdue library book#I wrote about half of that ficâŠâŠâŠâŠ.. maybe Iâll finish it one dayâŠâŠ..#hamuko arisato#minako arisato#persona 3 femc#persona 3 fanart#persona 3 portable#p3#p3 femc#illustration#digital art
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new amangela fic!
"Two cheez-it packets and an apple is not dinner. You don't have any leftovers or anything in your house?"
Angela groans, leaning forward and balancing her forehead on the edge of her laptop screen. "I don't even have groceries right now, because I didn't have time to do a grocery run on Tuesday. I think the last time I looked in the fridge it was literally just condiments and a jar of martini olives." She pauses, and then, continuing to not look at Amanda, adds. "...And half a lemon."
"Half- why is it only half a lemon. What happened to- okay, you know what, not the important thing here. Babe, what the hell."
AKA: I said i was going to write a fic about the half lemon in Angela's fridge and i meant it.
It started from "i want this specific scene as a result of Angela kind of Going Thru It" and quickly turned into "how many acts of love and service can i feasibly cram into the before and after of this". Its VERY fluffy, consider it an exploration of "what can you do when your friend is overworking themselves to the point of being stretched very thin + a healthy dose of Amangela banter and love".
Its written in a way that I think is arguably platonic, but I mean, you all can decide that. enjoy!
also, a huge thank you to the other amangela fic/content writers on here- for directly or indirectly discussing, providing encouragement, motivation, etc, and also making their own stuff! Cool stuff makes more cool stuff.
#me having this idea and then slowly writing the first half of it while i was also going thru my own extremely questionable work schedule#might have played a part in how INCREDIBLY fluffy and affectionate this got towards the end#anyway i took a number of logistical liberties in this fic- i hope it all feels realistic/justified enough. and in character!#amanda lehan canto#angela giarratana#smosh rpf#amangela#smosh fic#smosh au#smosh fanfic#my fic#honestly i wrote almost all of this with the intention of it being platonic but the nap scene even i was like. hmmm. amanda you didnt have#to do it Like That....#and then the rest of the story just kind of continued with amanda having So Much Love for angela.#which i enjoyed immensely but đ€·ââïž#anyway ill stop yapping. enjoy!#wait no one more funny story: i wrote the entire greenroom scene with a clear visual in my head before belatedly realizing 'oh. not everyon#is left handed.' and i had to go back and add some indicators to clear that up bc otherwise when I was reading it i kept visualizing amanda#as using her left hand to eat which i think wouldnt have bothered anyone else but bothered ME
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trying to not complain about the discrepancy between how much content fictional women and poc have vs the white dudes in every fucking fandom im in, because no one owes me fanart/fic and i can make shit myself, but holy fuck can any of you name a woman?
#despite this mentioning women specifically its actually inspired by the ao3 tag for lucy and the guy who waterboarded her having 500+ fics#while her with her canon black love interest has 36.....#yanno. in a way its still 'name a woman' because none of these writers see her as a full character with thoughts and feelings that#may not align with their own. shes a named y/n to 80% of the fandom instead of. oh i dunno. an interesting canon character#ugh#sorry that you wouldnt wanna kiss max but lucy is built different + dont care + she didnt ask + L#(unfortunately i am the one getting ratioed because lesbians with correct opinions suffer more than jesus)#AND ANOTHER THING!#her tag is literally (i fucking counted) over half just shipping content with the white guy. unusable without a blacklist i stg#its not enough that she has so much less content than him. she ALSO has to share half of hers as primarily focused on him#UGH.#im allowed to bitch a full novel in the tags because its my fucking post and you can reblog it without this commentary#im not even using full names so it wont show up in their tags. i dont have to further justify shit about fuck to anyone
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Okay Iâm. Usually. Usually I donât enjoy human aus and usually I hate drawing transformers as humans because it feels so wrong to my brain.
But then I stumbled upon Dream of something more by Gemma_Inkyboots and aaauuuhh fuck. Hereâs the pile of the most vague and unspecific and undetailed fanart. Because Iâm being torn between âI canât drawing human designsâ and âIf donât draw something for this fic I dieâ.
#maccadam#transformers#dratchet#ratchlock#drift#deadlock#ratchet#itâs kind of mermaid au#but I âŠ.auuhh I canât design mer Deadlock spare ne#*me#Iâm struggling haha#at first I was like#oh okay I see. This is about mer falling in love with a human and then deciding that he needs to be a human too so he can be with his love#but something#SOMETHING was so interestingly off#and then I realised thatâŠ.oh fuck#itâs not about âfinding your loveâ#itâs about finding your way back to your love even though you have a fucking amnesia and donât remember you are loved#Deadlock is so damn confused half of the time because he jUSt found Ratchet#but Ratchet already knows him and loves him and cares about him and he missed him so much and he thought Deadlock was dead???#âŠâŠâŠyeahâŠ.great fic#fic fanart#Deadlock thinking that Ratchetâs clothes smells like home and Ratchetâs food tastes like home isâŠ..#*dies*#the fic is unfinished#thereâs 2 chapters left I think? But itâs SO worth reading eheheh
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thirteen update đ đč đ đ»
chapter 2: November
chapter summary:
She was in a good mood. If she was ever going to take it well, it would be now.
âMaman, what if I went to school this year?â
excerpt:
âHeh.â Adrien flicked a finger beneath his chin and strutted the length of his bathroom floor, glancing at himself in the mirror. He twirled a roseâa red one, one heâd grabbed from the vase downstairsâbetween his fingers and then presented it to the mirror with a flourish.
âHaruhi!â he declared, âthe spring of my heart surges upon the sight of your fresh smile, my love. My heart beats at the command of your drum! Your face is the fierce longing of my soul, and I present to you now this token of my lavish, undyingââ
A sharp knock clicked against the bedroom door and Adrien froze, his hand still passionately hovering over his heart.
âAdrien?â Nathalieâs voice called, and Adrienâtrue to character, if he did say so himselfâstartled so hard that he slipped and fell onto his butt on the tile.
âYeah?â he called, hastily pulling himself up and trying to find a place to set down the rose.
Nathalie peeked her head through the bathroom door and took him in, his rumpled hair and the too-small blue blazer heâd saved in the back of his closet for occasions such asâŠthis.
âYou have a guest,â she said flatly, and Adrien could not for the life of him figure out whether she was making fun of him.
She left before he could decide, and then it was only a matter of seconds before his bathroom door was thrown all the way open and a blonde ponytail bobbed into view.
âAdrikins!â ChloĂ© crashed into him, wrapping him up in a hug that nearly knocked him over again. âItâs been way too long. Youâve been neglecting me. Aw, did you get me a rose?â She plucked it from his hands and then scrunched up her nose. âEw, is this real?â
âAs real as the current that springs from the well of my heart,â Adrien invented, and ChloĂ© frowned at him like heâd just spoken Greek. âNevermind.â
She looked him up and down and scrunched her nose up even more. âWhat did you do to your hair?â
Adrien frowned at his reflection in the mirror and pushed his hair further over to the side.
âI was trying to make it look cool.â Heâd been trying to make it look like Tamaki from Ouran High School Host Club.
âIt looks like you just rolled out of bed.â
read on ao3
#ml#miraculous ladybug#ml fic#miraculous#thirteen#adrien agreste#emilie agreste#my art#HAPPY NOVEMBER(<-girl who procrastinates. it is the last day of november)#still. it counts.#shout out to me for deciding to draw a title card at midnight last night.#a weird thing abt me is that I have such a hard time drawing emilie. even here I had to cut half her face off.#something something ghost of a person. not tangible enough to pin down not even while she's still alive. just the idea of a perfect mother#a beautiful memory#what is it like to be the dead wife before she's dead?#etc etc. anyway there's endless tamaki suoh references in here. sorry#(<-isn't sorry)#I love fact checking myself in my own tags#okay happy thursday everybody I gotta do my work now
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Sitting Pretty
This is just pure filth like barely a plot ok đ«đ„Ž
Eddie Munson x Female!reader
18+ONLY
Warnings: pet names (baby, pretty girl), slight degradation and condescending language (use of slut) (this really isn't degradation in my mind but that's cause I'm used to a lot worse so technically it is but), boot riding, squirting
Eddie dropped the box on the coffee table with a loud thud. It landed next to the other boxes he had carried, and the one you had. After a long day of work, he was tired. He wanted to sit down, relax, and do absolutely nothing. Of course, when you called and said you needed help moving boxes, he came. He knew he was entirely fucked. Wrapped around your fingers. You could tell him to jump and he'd ask how high.
Eddie pushed a strand of hair out of his face, it briefly getting caught on his fingers, making him shake his hand to get it unstuck. He glared at the partially grey hair still wound around his fingers (you said it made him look distinguished and metal. He couldn't complain too much at that). You set your own box on the table and smiled at him,"Thanks Eds, I know you're tired. It means a lot to me you would do this." Eddie hummed,"mhm. What is this stuff anyways?" "Oh, my uncle and aunt were getting rid of a bunch of stuff, so they gave it to my parents, who got rid of more stuff, aaaannnd dumped it on me," you shrugged," I'll go through it and see if there is anything good, then send it to the secondhand store."
Together, you and Eddie started going through the boxes. Eddie pretended to be wounded finding a dungeon master's guide, you found a harmonica and attempted to play a Corroded Coffin song (which had Eddie wheeze laughing and joking about adding a harmonica solo to their next single), he had tried on a pink jacket at your insistence while you had put on a hat that didn't fit (both of you traded items and agreed they looked better on each other then yourselves before promptly tossing the items back in the box), and then you struck gold.
You pulled out a pair of light brown leather cowboy boots. The intricate stitching on the side had caught your eye at the bottom of the box. The tips of the shoes slightly pointed and squared off. You blink at them and hand them to Eddie. Eddie looks at them before scoffing," Nope, those will squish my feet. You see the ends of them?" You roll your eyes," Eddie, if they hurt people's feet why would cowboys wear them? They work on their feet all day!" Eddie was tempted to tease you and say cowboys aren't real, but then you pout at him. The pout making your lips stand out caused him to hesitate. "Please?" He sighed and couldn't help but give you a quick kiss before grumbling and sitting to put the boots on. He could hear your faint cheers as he sat on the recliner.
Your focus was on the box in front of you until you heard Eddie clear his throat and ask,"Well, what do ya think?" You turned and-
Damn.
Eddie stood there with his hands on his hips. Your eyes trailed over him. His curly hair was frizzy from the humidity and a long day of working and sweating at the auto shop. His skin pale, save for a smear of oil on his cheekbone. His tank top showed off his arms beautifully, muscles straining, his bicep wrapped from a new tattoo he had gotten. The tank top tight against his skin, showing you his waist. You could see the bump at his belly button where his piercing was. His jeans were slightly loose, the only light wash pair he owned that he threw on when he hadn't done the laundry. Those stupid cowboy boots sat on his feet, the slight heel giving him extra height. He turned and held his arms out, striking a few poses. They weren't heels, but they made his ass pop (God, now you wanted to see him in heels). The light jeans making his ass look bigger, perfect to hold. Slap even.
"Ya know, they actually are kinda comfortable," Eddie turned back to face you with a smile," they don't- oof!" Eddie lands on the recliner with a grunt from you pushing him. He glares at you," you have to quit doing that! You're gonna strain my back or some shit." "Hm...stop being so fuckable then," you climb on top of his lap and lean close to his ear to whisper," besides, you like it." Eddie clears his throat and grasps your hips. You roll your hips slightly into his, watching him inhale sharply. The scruff of his unshaved jaw beckons you forward, kissing it lightly before trailing down his neck.
You nip and suck at his neck, smirking as he tilts his head to give you better access. His hands that firmly grasp your hips, shift to grab your ass instead. You hum as you pull back, staring at the glistening neck and the lovely purple mark you left. It may be childish to leave a hickey, but you couldn't help but want to mark Eddie up, adding shades of purple and red near his existing tattoos. Eddie's eyes are blown, his pale face flushed a deep red. You shift on top of him, rolling your hips into his again, feeling his hardening length. The feeling of you grinding against him makes him groan. Unbuttoning his jeans, you awkwardly try to unzip them, leaning back into Eddie's hands. He takes that moment to squeeze your ass. You whimper at the feeling and lean forward to kiss him, thoughts of removing his pants forgotten.
His lips are soft, slightly chapped, but still so plush against yours. Your mouths move in tandem, tongues darting out. Eddie licks into your mouth, groaning as he takes control. He sucks on the tip of your tongue before pulling back. Both of you taking deep breaths. "Take these off baby," Eddie mumbles, tugging at the hem of your shorts. You nod and clamber off him.
You push your shorts and panties down, balancing a hand on Eddie's knee as you step out of them. You go to get back on Eddie but he stops you," Now hold on, baby." You let out a whine in annoyance. Eddie chuckles and clicks his tongue at you," You seem all pent up, what's got you like this?" "You, now let me on-" "Nah, I think it's something else. Like my boots, Baby?" You nod emphatically, attempting to straddle Eddie again, but he puts his leg out in front of you. The sole of his boot presses against your stomach, and he pushes you back lightly. "Prove it pretty girl."
You pause and tilt your head slightly before grasping Eddie's boot covered ankle. Eddie nods to his foot and taps your stomach with the sole. You step back and bend at the hips, eyes locked with Eddie's, and kiss the tip of the boot. He chuckles and motions you with a finger to continue. You give the boot another kiss, and another. The leather firm against your mouth. Eddie smirks," You can do better then that." "I'm not licking the boot." You stand up and drop Eddie's foot with a thud. Eddie relaxes back spreading his legs, "Who said anything about licking? What's that saying...save a horse, ride a cowboy?"
You blink at him as your mouth falls open. Eddie taps the boot against the hardwood ground, causing clicks to echo. "Go on pretty girl." You can feel your arousal slowly drip down your thighs at the thought of Eddie's request. It was demeaning, dirty, and damn if it didn't delight you. You slowly kneel at Eddie's feet, lowering yourself until your core hit the leather.
The fabric was stiff and slightly rough against your pussy. Your arousal dripping onto the boot, causing it to slicken and make it easier to move. You look up from where you're situated to look at Eddie. You can't help the moan that escapes at the site of him. The once slightly baggy jeans are now very filled out from his bulge. One hand resting on it, squeezing lightly. The top of his unbuttoned jeans showing off his happy trail. The opal belly button piercing glinting in the light. The tattoo of the dragon above the jewelry moving with every deep breath he takes. A hickey on his pec from last week. The rest of his tattoos scattered about, glistening from sweat. The scruff on his jaw and neck. The grey hairs at his temples. The smirk on his face, even though it is flushed. The demeaning look he gives you.
You grind against the boot, faltering slightly under his gaze. "Look at you, sitting pretty," Eddie coos at you, patting your head. He knows you hate that, making you feel small. Stupid. "Such a good slut, making my boots all wet." His words make you clench around nothing, throbbing with want.
You buck your hips quicker against his boot. You shift angles slightly and moan as the boot rubs against your clit. The sensation is too much. The pleasure invades your brain, coherent thoughts gone. You feel the pressure building in your lower stomach. A tingly warmth spreading out from your core. "Fuck I'm-" your breath hitches and your hips fumble losing rhythm. "Come for me baby," Eddie grasps your jaw firmly, tilting your head up to face him," Drench my boots like the good slut you are, pretty girl." You gasp as the pressure builds to a crescendo. Your eyes close and you moan head falling back in pleasure. Lights flash behind your eyes as euphoria spreads throughout your limbs. You distantly feel the wetness gush as your hips buck wantonly. Your brain goes fuzzy with static from euphoria. You briefly hear Eddie moan a fuck.
You come back down to earth, loosening your grip on Eddie's thighs. You hadn't even realized you were gripping them. You scoot away from his boot, still on your knees. The light brown leather is soaked, turning a dark brown. A puddle of your release is on the boot, making you feel warm from embarrassment.
"Fucking hell...you squirted," Eddie shakes his head and chuckles. You stand on shaky legs, Eddie helping hold you in place. You glance down at the puddle slowly dripping off his shoe and onto the floor. "Can I ride you now?" You ask saccharinely.
"You're gonna have to give me a minute," Eddie's eyes dart away from yours, clearing his throat. He shifts and you glance at the movement. His jeans are slightly loose again. The light denim jeans having turned dark at a wet spot. "Made me come like a fucking teenager," Eddie stands grabbing your hand. He tugs on your arm, leading you towards the bedroom.
You were definitely keeping the cowboy boots.
#Is this the same Eddie from Wrecked yes yes it is will I ever write a part 2 to that uh maybe#I love this older Eddie with a belly button piercing he has invaded my brain and taken up residence in my heart#I realized after I finished this you are basically doing a Winnie the Pooh in over half of this#You really did soak his shoes making them shine#Anyways no Eddie isnt a cowboy but he could be he has the swagger for one#This isn't even really degradation in my mind but I know it is to some so#eddie munson x you#Eddie Munson x y/n#Eddie Munson x reader#Eddie Munson/you#Eddie Munson/reader#Eddie Munson x female!reader#Eddie Munson smut#Eddie Munson/female!reader#Stranger Things#Also please go read and enjoy cowboy Eddie fics cause they are so good#ALSO if anyone is reading this I did try to make like a header picture thing but it kept deleting paragraphs when it was added#So I went without cause really we dont need that we need the words#Is this well done no but it is done and I am well so#Jade is Talking
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My. Sounds like a love story.
#justified#raylan givens#boyd crowder#that's it that's the show#ok so my love language is making gifs of otps even if there are likely to be a million gifsets out there already#am I only just now watching this show from 2011 you bet I am#have I plunged headlong into obsession already after only one and a half series oh HELL YEAH#conversation with my pal who recced this to me after I'd watched three eps#me: 'did you make me watch this so you can talk about your crush on timothy oliphant? because thanks now I have one TOO'#him: 'I have such a crush on him. He's Chris Isaak hot!'#which from him is the highest compliment#(solidifying my long term suspicion that my bestie is not 100% straight but then again didn't everyone want to shag 90s ewan macgregor??)#anyway thank you all the fic writers for au-ing the hell out of this and giving me raylan/boyd for days#also fucking 1000% credit to walton goggins for making boyd so INSANELY MAGNETIC
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does anyone even go here anymoreâŠ.
#jily#lily evans#james potter#jily fic#been sitting on this one for a few daysâŠ.been writing and whatnotâŠ.#have been alternating between loving and hating the thing but started the second draft and editing things and realized itâs not half as bad#as it could be. so#finally stuck with a title too from the billions i tried and i think it fits nicely#not sure if anyone even cares about these losers anymore but i do! so yours soon if anyone wants it!!
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Fic-to-Art #39: Gladiator's ELEVENTH Anniversary! (+ BONUS: Fic-to-Art #36...)
And here we are! March 26th arrived and I did not forget about it, but I paid for my ambitious madness with my wrist and forearm. Somehow, I finished my intended pieces on time, but I do not advise that you ever try to make 9 artworks in 3 days. No, sir. Bad life decisions, that's what that was... but this fic, as anyone knows, moves me to do things I never thought possible, starting with writing the fic itself!
It's really crazy every time it hits me that I've been doing this for as long as I have. It's been a complicated, chaotic journey, with its many ups and downs, but ultimately, it has been our journey. For some people, this is just one more fic in the pile: for me, it's been the best adventure of my life so far. Everyone who has ever been touched by Gladiator, who has ever cherished this story, who's looking forward to the big conclusion, who wants to see how the chaotic war is going to end... you're all part of this crazy adventure along with me, and I can only thank you for joining me.
This year, I had no time to make as big a project as I usually go for. Thus, I did a sort of free-for-all edition of Fic-to-Art over at Patreon and challenged myself to draw as many scenes as I could, out of their suggestions. I even sprinkled in a few scenes I impulsively wanted to draw because I loved writing them or because I look forward to writing them... and this is the result!
In order, the scenes are as follow:
Sokka combing Azula's hair, a common occurrence throughout the story.
Azula watching over a convalescing Sokka in the Chase of Jeong Jeong arc.
The outcome of Sokka's final battle in the Superior Gladiator League, namely a moment where Sokka and Azula more or less gave away their relationship's true nature to the public by raising their hands towards each other...
And now, spoiler territory! Some were by my choice, some by Patreon requests:
An important moment shortly after Sokka and Azula reunite.
Azula confronting her father, with a LOT of backup.
Xin Long's long-awaited freedom.
The aftermath of the final battle.
The full-blown confirmation of their relationship to the general Fire Nation populace.
Sokka, Azula and Hotaru's first night together
And the big final one is ACTUALLY Fic-to-Art #36 but hahaha woops I didn't post it here on time because it was super hard to finish since I had a LOT of things going on... but here it is now! :'D it's a glimpse VERY far into the future of this fic's timeline!
Alright, that should be enough talking and explaining. Some things are vague, some things aren't, but ultimately I really hope you guys will be looking forward to the scenes you haven't seen yet, and to Gladiator's eventual outcome.
So now... with all this being said and done, I'm gonna go take a trip down memory lane and watch my Tenth Anniversary video once more! Feel free to do the same thing if you'd like to commemorate the fic, I think it's a good way to experience Gladiator all over again, hahaha.
Thank you if you read all this, and if you read all THAT: 5 million word landmark, here we come! Thanks for hanging out with me across ELEVEN years of Gladiator!
#sokkla#sokka#azula#gladiator#fic-to-art project#zuko#aang#katara#rui shi#fei li#tai wei#and a rando#yes that guy is a rando he's there to symbolize all the randos in that scene#do not look too deep into it it isn't deep at all hahahahahaha#Xin Long continues to be the bane of my existence I love him I hate drawing him#I don't know if he's good enough but I hope the emotional punch of THAT MOMENT#is enough to make up for any flaws ahahahaha welp#... also yes I'm not even sorry this was my excuse to go wild drawing as much Sokkla as I could#and my patrons were so damn nice to give me so many excuses to do just that!#how could I refuse? :'D#anyway I really hope you guys enjoy#the new pieces are glazed#nightshade killed itself when I asked it to work with them#I got annoyed and left it as it was#the last one did get both things#OKAY! DONE!#I HAVE AN HOUR AND A HALF LEFT OF ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION IN THIS TIMEZONE#Seyary out (?)
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