#SOMETHING was so interestingly off
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Okay I’m. Usually. Usually I don’t enjoy human aus and usually I hate drawing transformers as humans because it feels so wrong to my brain.
But then I stumbled upon Dream of something more by Gemma_Inkyboots and aaauuuhh fuck. Here’s the pile of the most vague and unspecific and undetailed fanart. Because I’m being torn between “I can’t drawing human designs” and “If don’t draw something for this fic I die”.
#maccadam#transformers#dratchet#ratchlock#drift#deadlock#ratchet#it’s kind of mermaid au#but I ….auuhh I can’t design mer Deadlock spare ne#*me#I’m struggling haha#at first I was like#oh okay I see. This is about mer falling in love with a human and then deciding that he needs to be a human too so he can be with his love#but something#SOMETHING was so interestingly off#and then I realised that….oh fuck#it’s not about ‘finding your love’#it’s about finding your way back to your love even though you have a fucking amnesia and don’t remember you are loved#Deadlock is so damn confused half of the time because he jUSt found Ratchet#but Ratchet already knows him and loves him and cares about him and he missed him so much and he thought Deadlock was dead???#………yeah….great fic#fic fanart#Deadlock thinking that Ratchet’s clothes smells like home and Ratchet’s food tastes like home is…..#*dies*#the fic is unfinished#there’s 2 chapters left I think? But it’s SO worth reading eheheh
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SOCIETY KEEPS KILLING ONE OF THEM BCS THEIR FRIENDSHIP WOULD BE INCAPABLE FOR GALAXIES TO HANDLE !!!!!
#theyre actually the same height but cliffjumper's pedes are made for climbing leaping causing pain to others#so he has spikes that sheath and unsheath from the soles and he keeps them out pretty much all the time which gives him height#fuzzy fat bumblebee and ANT#cliffjumper#i want cliffjumper sounds just like Miss SecondOpinionson but monotone & says everything like it's a fact#he keeps a permanent judgemental and suspicious expression and will tell you all of his surface level judgement of u#which js A Lot as he is Very observant and skeptical of Everything#mirage loves him bcs he doesnt play nice. he tells u how he sees it when he sees it#meanwhile bee is mewing from the amount of hatred secretly boiling inside him & is constantly changing himself for others#when they have time to reunite as old best friends .. the girlies have fun which means cliff is smiling for once & bee is not#everybody feels bad for bee when they see this bcs they think cliff is boring him or something & ruining his good mood#but actually bee is having the time of his life venting finally abt all his 'mean thoughts' which are just His thoughts but he cant say that#and cliff loves violence & is uncomfortable with social etiquette upkeep so of course hes indulging#i need the world to stop pitting my girlbosses against each other like just get creative with their designs lol#characters can have depth without merging personalities together into 1 and killing off the other half to cover up ur stealing lol#bee def has anger issues too but it's an after effect from his overthinking backfiring#while cliff has anger issues that flares b4 actions due to not wanting to think in favor of pure Doing#i think they are lovely foils which should be explored and can be done rlly interestingly if they were friends#who keep getting pit against each other by life but refuse to lose that friendship .. it's just a little cracked now.. & keeps cracking#bumblebee#transformers#maccadam
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thinkign about faye
#— nox lupus.#oughdjfkfh#she REALLY does not like neuvillette#or any of the fontaine justice system tbh#also does not like furina#faye very much thinks furina is a shitty person and a shitty actress (which is objectively untrue but faye is NASTY. +#+ when she digs at people she doesn't like she does it *nastily.* she isn't graceful about it at all. it's her worst chara trait i think. +#+ however she doesn't often hate people that much. that level of nastiness is reserved for furina and neuvillette. even the general +#+ population is saved from her nastiness. because she knows they don't deserve it deep down. because what could a normal person +#+ have done to save her and her mother? nothing. but *furina* and *neuvi?* they could have done something. but they did not. +#+ so faye is nasty towards them any chance she gets.)#faye is the kind of person who has blinding destructive rage#she's so polite and warm and friendly but then you piss her off and it's all +#“that's why your mother never loved you 🤷♀️ ELECTRO DELUSION RAHH ⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️🌩🌩🌩🌩🌩🌩🌩🌩”#interestingly emilio is actually... not nasty. at all. if he's going to degrade you he's going to say you suck at your job or smth#NOTHINGGGG like faye LMAO
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[warning: post about my ‘personal’ ‘romantic’ ‘life’, got a little mopey and oversharey. This Is Tumblr, So Im Posting It Anyway]
I sometimes conceptualize of myself as getting online crushes at the drop of a hat, but in fact that is not true. i develop a vague attraction to some online acquaintance about once every one to two years (and then do nothing about this since the idea of such a thing being mutual is…i mean, i’m not delusional, i’m aware it’s zero. stats irl bear this sort of thing out as far as anyone ever “liking me back.” I also can’t bear the humiliation and indignity of expressing such a thing and how pathetic and presumptuous I’d feel doing so, like a crawling worm that thinks it’s a human. Anyway,)
once every couple years …objectively isn’t “often”! most probably the reason I think “oh that happens so often” is that it, uh, does happen ‘often’ compared to the frequency with which I fall for people in real life. crushes number in the single digits and falling in love happened once, ever, catastrophically and extremely badly, for about four years, pathetically and unrequitedly, until it was finally snuffed out by lack of proximity, like suffocating a fire for lack of oxygen.
I’m slightly afraid it never ended and mostly try not to think about it. I accidentally did something really strange to myself a couple weeks ago by (hilariously, it was thru finding my old homestuck art and then thinking about my life at the time) remembering the wrong memories — Like, it was…trigger-adjacent? Idk I don’t like to use that word about myself I’ve never felt like I had a right — Anyway it was really bad I was in bed like shaking and crying and thinking, it never ended, it never ended, it will never end, I just achieve denial, that’s all I can do, I just wrap myself up in the comfort of imagining A&N or B&V and filling my heart with imagining their love but you idiot it’s all just lying to yourself and forgetting that I’ll never again know the peace and happiness I felt at [redacted]’s side and how that was so much better than nothing even if it would never be returned and ten years going by proves that, just like I knew then, it was once in a lifetime
…this was supposed to be a lighthearted post. Oops! Aaanyway, yes, your local Ebil develops some kind of vague online attraction every so often and then does not do anything about it ever. I think the part of my brain that does that kind of refocuses onto fictional love in a weird way? we’re going to go down a really weird path if i try to explore that further though and I didn’t like the way my mind went there when I —let’s say Mentally Stepped On a Rake as described above
tangent: one of the reasons i can get irrationally hurt over people being dicks about my handful of treasured ships is that part of me is like “you won’t even let me have THAT????” yeah yes i know that doesn’t make any fucking sense. christ. no i swear this post was meant to be lighthearted. oh man
#anyway. net crushes. can think of four examples in the 10yrs since the ((gestures)) ended. so it might be even less than every 1-2 years#ive resigned myself to a life without relationships bc the process of seeking them is simply not something i can bear#that’s a conscious trade off i know i am making.maybe one wil magically happen someday anyway. idk where I was going with this#interestingly none of my online crushes have ever been men??? but the brain destroying love thing was a man. make of that what you will#my feelings towards a healthy variety of fictional men keep me convinced of my persisting bisexuality ((thumbs up))
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mylene is so interesting to me bc like. she just chucks elico out as soon as she gets a mechanical replacement with macubass. and i think she's the only villain so callous about their guardian bakugan???
most villains still care about their bakugan and usually actually share the same goals and are on the same wavelength, birds of a feather and all that. like even characters like kazarina, cruel as she is, still are fond of their guardian bakugan. and theres characters like spectra and barodius who's plans center around their guardian bakugan, and are actively encouraged by those bakugan.
even characters who's guardian bakugan dont necessarily get along with them all the time, like avior and mason's constant bickering, are still friends. meanwhile mylene just. throws elico out. and also takes brontes from volt and throws him out as well. i think whats also interesting, since the show likes to bring up spectra and mylene parallels, is how spectra uses machines to upgrade and evolve helios, while mylene outright replaces elico with a machine.
but it's not like she's shown to be like. completely heartless either. she calls volt her friend even though she threw out brontes beforehand. she stands up for hydron when zenoheld takes his anger out on him. she has some weird friendship with shadow prove.
i think she was the vehicle to show the general vestal opinion on bakugan, since mylene only sees her bakugan as weapons and when she loses she blames the loss on them. (meanwhile i think volt is supposed to show that not all vestals are THAT bad, even if they are part of the king's entourage of fucked up teenage celebrity theatre kids). and i think she's very interesting bc of that. anyways i love mylene.
#mylene farrow#bakugan new vestroia#lync and shadow prove can also be considered this to a lesser extent??? but they've never had a guardian bakugan#so the comparisons aren't as strong#they probs dont have guardian bakugan for the same reason mylene threw elico out#i think lync is more representative of nv's overarching theme of loyalty. as is shadow prove.#and obvs spectra gus and hydron too#obvs mylene and volt are too but like i dont think that's their main purpose#i think they're more supposed to represent vestal society as a whole#i feel like this went off on a slight tangent or something?? this is just how my thoughts work im adhd#interestingly i think the time when spectra is at his worst is when he steals drago#after he steals drago he kinda sorta starts ignoring helios a little?? kinda replaces helios with drago???#so he replaces one bakugan with another thats seemingly more powerful and can only follow orders. sounds familiar??#love that tbh. i love villains. they're so interesting.#also i could probably write a post even longer than this about nv's theme of loyalty regarding the vestals#but thats neither here nor there lmao. always happy to ramble#anyways also happy lesbian visibility day from ur local bakugan loving aro lesbian#also this post ended up being far longer than i expected but i have brainrot sooooo#ANYWAYS BYEEEEEEEEE might go watch nv i love that season if u cant tell
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he has stood under the sun for so long that time begins to collapse into itself. she makes me experience the strangest colors. and how is everyone else today
#random thoughts#if you can't tell. i'm doing interestingly#it's not as hot as yesterday. i am still. relatively normal. just. very tired#not in great condition. feeling. unwell. what is wrong with me? i've wanted to be friends with the sun for so long#but. she does not like me. oh well. have i done something to put her off? i should hope not#h. anyway. back to normalposting
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hm ok so interestingly, bdubs’s courthouse is built on an odd number of blocks. note the roof of the facade coming to a point, but more importantly, the nine pillars….
you don’t use an odd number of pillars. like ever.
let me get this out of the way first: i get why you’d build with odd numbers in minecraft. i usually do it myself, to not run into problems like double doors or two-wide pointed roofs or frustrating spacing/symmetry between decorative elements. however. to not even out the design of something so unequivocally done in every other example of columns and pillars…. fascinating implications…
every other example guys. every other building with columns like this has an even number of them.
doing so sets the line of symmetry at an invisible point between two pillars, an even number on each side. but an odd total number of pillars makes the central pillar itself the line of symmetry. this does a couple things.
one, it upends the sense of community and equality. which i know sounds crazy, but really, a group of columns are all put there to hold up a structure. there’s no focus on one because they are all are working as supports.
symbolically, at least when first used in ancient greece, pillars represented people. and it makes sense for courthouses, especially, to want to show an even, fair, equal number of people on each side. no focus on any one, no inherent bias right off the bat just looking at it.
with an odd number of pillars, though, one will always be placed front and center.
and THEN. and then you walk in the courtroom itself (also odd-numbered blocks) and you are immediately opposite the judge, bdubs, located exactly centrally. and true, courtrooms are often set up like this anyway. but bdubs ups the ante and reaffirms that no, focus is on him by staging it all as a daytime court show, boom mic just over his head, cameras pointed in, spotlights on him.
literally by design, it was not built for justice. it’s built for show, for entertainment. and just look at the credits to know exactly what sort of message you’re supposed to be getting from this show.
the biblical story he used, with king solomon. it’s about king solomon. isn’t really about the trial itself, or the babies, or the women. it’s about showing (off) how wise and just he is. that’s the point. hm. interesting.
now, getting to the second point that etho also picked up on: it feels like a prison.
it’s not just the color palette. when your eyes naturally draw to the center point, you aren’t seeing an open space. instead of feeling like an arch or gateway or otherwise some kind of opening, the pillar there makes it feel closed off. the overall effect is that of prison bars. not pillars lining the entrance to a place of order or a temple. bars of a cage, a cell.
imagine the lincoln memorial were set up with 11 or 13 pillars. he’d look so much more trapped in there.
having a central pillar blocks the entrance. it’s not welcoming. you have to go around it; it’s immediately inconveniencing you. and when you go to leave, it’s there blocking you again.
this courthouse was not designed and built to be fair, nor accomodating, nor equitable, on any terms. even if unintentional, i wouldn’t call it so much coincidental as i would… subconscious.
after all, y’know. form follows function.
#this came about by me being like ew why are there an odd number of pillars that’s such a faux pas and just overall odd (haha) choice#but then i was like oh wait. there’s something to this#i dont think it looks BAD. i just think that odd number of pillars causes problems and maybe it doesnt stick out to other people as much#but it bothers ME. okay#bdubs#bdoubleo100#hc10#hermitcraft#mightaswellspeak
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Conversations with Leviathan #8, Purusha + the Expanse 23/4/23
Late night hours had us talking lying on my bed. I've had a theory for a while now, one that I know budded from the muddied water of past experiences with him (and through crawling inside his brain, possession is a two way door), that he was immensely present in... Something outside his bodies. Actually, my theory was that he was present in other states of consciousness, but a week or so ago he was sitting across from me in my desk chair as I laid here and he... Showed me himself in the very fabric of the air between us. It was like a curtain was pulled back, if that curtain was the instanced and singular dots of Reality itself dissolving like grains of salt into water, revealing what my mind translates into those eyes like those at the top of my blog, the eyes I associate with him for reasons I still don't fully understand.
He was there, though. Atoms withdrawing into themselves like dancers off a stage through a fourth dimension. I think I'm understanding the relationship of Maya and Shiva now... Maybe. The reason I started writing, well, we were discussing getting something done and this is what we eventually decided, plain and simple, but I'll pretend that the reason was my excitement at seeing him reconfirm this for me because that excitement was strong enough to spark this by itself.
Relaxing in bed, as I said, and one instant he was on one side of me and then next on the other. This is common by itself, yes, spirits flit about and go where they please and I'm familiar with doing so myself in the Astral, but not only did he linger in two instances on either side of me confirming my understanding of him in multiple bodies, but he was within the air itself around me. He showed me, peeking through, as if he were a veiled being that only ever showed fingertips of his played down and disguised as human-sized bodies and he pulled back his veil to show me himself; as if he were, like he keeps saying to me in terms I hear but apparently don't grasp, in the fabric of existence, like he were really bigger than everything I've ever seen, like he were - a song I associate with his energy starts playing, Sedation, by Council of Nine - absolutely huge and frayed from his core being-hood into concept and causality and Mind as much as he extends outwards in his planet-dwarfing body.
This is where we are now, patiently he let me catch up in writing.
-
He told me I should open the curtain to the night air, a relief physically, but now it's so clearly matched and overlapping with his energy. It's strange, as if opening the Sky leads to the Night which emanates down from it, well, nothingness, but the experience my brain gives to it is night air. There is no natural experience to it.
"And now you're getting it."
I can see him off somewhere distant lounging as if on a chaise lounge, but I can't see what it is he's on. The scene is bright, iced in whites and yellows and sunlight - or fire? I forget what the Sun is made of. So many instances of himself... I go to look for more bodies of his since I presume this lounging form is him somewhere else in the world concurrently, but I'm greeted by the vision of an oddly green-coded library, not actually green but its energies are, the familiar stacks of cubes in cubby hole shelves though it's not the library from before. A different library, one that metaphorically fits inside the outline of a body. It's an informational library? It's like scales on a lizard.
I prod at him for more information on his omnipresence, he tells me to have patience.
This body library of cubes... He asks in energy: "What is in the middle of all of them?" I'm presuming - "No presuming. What is it?" his voice is faint and much more like three-dimensional swirling fog than spoken words. I see lines of white making up edges but not all edges of the cubes. Impulses between points but not travelling between them, not moving at least, maybe they travel around the cubes... I see huge impulses of black too. As if where there is one, light or shadow, the other is magnetised to it, not a lack but a partnership. Huge swathes of full-empty dark following empty-full light - that's to say the dark feels so present like the night sky when technically it's a vacuum, the light feels so full when technically it should be particles... These cubes are strange. Yes, the light moves, but it doesn't move how I thought it would. It doesn't move with time (or at least it's not currently programmed to in this vision by him), it seems to move with my position to it in a nonlinear way. It progresses away from me if I go back and up, if I move to the left the furthest part away from me shrinks back down towards me, it's hard to know what it's doing.
"Such is the nature of the fourth dimension."
He's before me now, though deeply shrouded in shadow, as what seems to be an unexpectedly rather matte black snake thicker than I am tall (he laughs: "Oh, much bigger than you."), a form I've never seen him take. His form and body are obscured by the shadows that, while as dark as shadows of this magnitude generally are, seem lighter than him, and cut through his silhouette and obscure connections between his body and face and so all that really tells me he's a snake is like an incomplete set of puzzle pieces on a board giving impressions of a finished picture. I can't see his eyes. In fact, really, if I keep looking at the image its apparent sense is purposely obscured by nonsensical arrangements as if I dreamt of a snake and then in the morning, telling someone about it, I slowly realised it didn't make sense at all. His mouth isn't where its supposed to be, his scales are paradoxically both pointed and flat, his head is dissected by one of the god-ray-esque shadow lines that doesn't line up with how the same ray is cast over his body...
Hermes told me a while ago something about the importance of sleep and dreams to me. I've been scared of the concepts and energies of sleep and dreams for a few years now, but they are indeed important to me. The connection I knew Leviathan has to them was on the tip of the tongue of the mouth of my trauma for a long time now - accidentally I switch my keyboard to Hindi input, a reminder from him to see this outside of what I was then since I had no interest in Hindi back then, and a reminder to see this through the eyes of what Indian thought he's pulling me into - time to take a break.
-
A series of visions:
Someone is writing but they're surrounded by bright but slightly dulled red, like red fabric tends to be. As if they were writing on a red tablecloth on a red table on a red floor in a red room on a red chair and all that red was blurred together like soft taffy and filling space like insulation foam. Red everywhere, a sea of it. The word Maya spelled with five letters, cryptically attempting to undo itself or otherwise wriggling like pupae in casings, the concept straining against the letters like it's a being restrained in latex in playful anti-captivity.
The red gives way to a sight of a blue ocean with a sailboat and mountains in the back left of the background, but it remains red. The red is a host to a dream, the synonymity is immense. Like a cinema screen but three - no, four-dimensional - like it sells cheap tickets to see the impulses of synapses suspended like spider webs between points in creation.
A voice, Leviathan's voice, from the absolute pervading center of Nowhere and therefore Everywhere in the scene: "I am inside the points. I am the snake."
Physically I feel a presence in my room, obviously it's him since I knew he was there listening and communicating with me, but now I feel him. He makes me feel him. I see those stylised eyes, I see an expanse far longer than it is wide of pure outer space, like a huge book seen from it's spine extended outwards far, far away. I feel him physically touch the place my centre forehead meets my hairline. I know I can see him, but he is in-between presence and outside of physical body. A storm on the horizon except the Sky - he tells me to capitalise it - is upside-down. The night air creeps in physically. It looks like grass.
He touches my hand, I feel like I'm drawn somewhere. The red simulates on its cinema screen the ocean which simulates on its cinema screen a Mental scene that I visit privately with Hermes, a sunlit clearing in a forest, but no, again, it's dreamlike nonsense registered as Real sense. It's an interpretative splash of the same specific colours laid out so they'd spark familiarity. It's not anything real.
"The further in you go," he makes sure to energetically point out something I saw but didn't mention, that the colours are specifically like impressionist painting or more like a mosaic without gaps, separate from one another. Not blended. "The further in you go, the more abstracted it becomes. This is the process of 1 from 0. 0 to 10."
Leviathan said:
From just below the top left of the page, white, bleached, A4 or whatever rectangular shape you confine it to long side up. A square line. Draw, follow the exact lines of the page parallel. A spiral in red ink. The white of the paper left must be the exact width of the red line, therefore really you draw with two lines. One, the red, is the purposeful decoration and confines the white that remains, though the white will remain beneath the red. That is what gives the red ink its colour, after all, you couldn't do this on a black paper could you. White is 10. Red is 3. The number of loops on this spiral should be 33.
Imagining it in your head is as real as it existing on paper.
What was that about AI writing? What does your mind do when it thinks of things? The same thing taste does when it curls with smell, inner sight - the simulation on the simulation of the red - is a dance between impulses and understanding. A dream is a Mental task.
#A reminder that I am new to these concepts and I asked him to teach me so not only am I learning about them but I am learning#how to learn about them AND learning how to learn from my teacher. Thanks in advance for understanding.#ramblings //#Everything on this blog is like this but I'm a little anxious about getting into hindu concepts but like. I am also being pushed to because#at some stage. My least favourite stage in learning. I have to start practicing the new language I'm learning to speak w my teachers#Worst stage in anything ever#Cubes //#For emotional support I'm tagging this with the cubes tag bc I like when he talks about the cubes#leviathan //#Conversations //#Channellings //#Although interestingly he was like ''say SHEE-va'' regarding omnipresent him essence as in emphasis on the ee where usually#It's more even between the i and the va#Might be a once off thing to illustrate something that I'll get eventually but osmehting about that ee sound
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VERY INTERESTING
One thing I did like about the ending of Gotham War is that I feel like there's some potentially interesting analysis of Bruce's character to be had here, because I find this whole thing 1000% more interesting viewed through the lens of Bruce backsliding on his core classic issue: He's terrified out of his mind at how much he loves these people around him and he struggles with having relationships with people who have fundamental differences to him. I keep thinking of that Tini Howard quote about this arc and about how it's not about whether or not Bruce and Selina can get together, but that he doesn't really know how to agree to disagree with someone he loves when it comes to something deeply foundational to him. And I think that's the entire point of including everything with Jason--that it's Bruce at a low point, after too much stress coming too quickly, too many major psychological pummelings over the last several arcs, and hitting a point where he can't deal with shoving aside his fundamental disagreements with Jason anymore. But he can't just write Jason off either, because Jason is his son, so his ten simultaneous mental breakdowns all get together and decide that the only option he can live with, is to try to force Jason out of this life. That's why he tries to talk himself into forcing Dick and Tim and Damian to be caught by the police, so they'd be forced out of this life. That's why he crumbles in an alley and tries to talk himself out of loving these people. Because he doesn't know how to agree to disagree with them and still keep loving them, keep having a relationship with them.
Because everything that happened with Selina, that he really let himself believe that he could be with her, marry her, and still be Batman, that really fucked him up and I think Gotham War is more of the aftermath of that. That's how I'm (admittedly doggedly) interpreting the bit about Selina and him being the "parents" of this group, despite that Selina was never in that role--I think Bruce wanted them to be the "parents" of the group and let himself believe in it and, when it went pear-shaped, something in him backslid terribly and now we're all here. "I'm okay with me not having happiness." is a direct call-back to Bruce in the car with Alfred on the way to the wedding, asking with surprising vulnerability, "Am I allowed to be happy?" He opened his heart and got hurt again and it's been stewing for awhile and so much has happened since then--Zur-En-Arrh, Tim getting his throat cut, Dick coming to cheer him up after Selina and getting shot in the head and Bruce almost losing him, Failsafe, Insomnia, everything that's going on over in Gotham Nocturne, etc.--that it fractured something in him and the cracks have finally grown deep enough that it fell apart in this story. So now all of this is just mounting tragedies to him. Which means he can't stay connected to it because he's too afraid of losing them and he's unwilling to try after what his fracturing led him to do. He can't stop them from living this life, despite everything he tried. He can't stop loving them, despite how hard he tried. So, all he can do is walk away before he gets hurt again, trying to leave everything in Dick's hands. Dick who is "better than Batman", who is better than Bruce. That he wants Dick and Barbara to be the "parents", because that's what he was trying to be and felt he failed at it, like to me this ending isn't really resolution, this is a low point for Bruce as a character in his bigger arc, because I think Batman's character arc always has to come back to his trauma of losing his family when he was young, working to let a new family in, coming to love them, and struggling against how much it terrifies him that he might lose them, too, because he doesn't think he can survive that kind of pain again. He'll still be in Damian's life, still be Batman and Robin there, but I think he's making an exception there because so much of it comes back to being able to live with fundamentally disagreeing with someone--Dick and Jason and Tim are adults, he can't tell them what to do anymore. Damian is young enough that, even if they clash, he's still directly in charge of raising him.
Zur-En-Arrh does hang over this entire storyline, he's part of what's taking up too much space to allow Bruce any mental breathing room, but fundamentally I see this storyline as part of Bruce's issues: That he's terrified of losing those he loves, but he can't control them, he desperately tries to and it doesn't work, and he can't live with them taking different paths from his ideals, so he walks away, rather than get hurt further. Bruce is probably going to dig himself further down into this hole and he's being incredibly dumb about it, but I can see how this fits all things that he has always struggled with--and sometimes he loses that fight against himself. This event wasn't really about fighting with Selina or Vandal Savage or even his kids--this was Bruce's love versus his fears, and today his fears won.
#DC#Gotham War#Bruce Wayne#Very brief correction that Bruce was unconscious for a whole Eight /Weeks/ instead of Days after Knight Terrors (Gotham War Battle Lines)#And it's also technically the second time Bruce went into a recovery coma in recent times. First time (Failsafe arc) lasted Two Weeks#And yeah. At least for Bruce's angle of him having The Worst Emotional and Mental Time Ever is consistent with Zdarsky's writing#Meanwhile I'm not familiar with or aware how Tini Howard's been handling Catwoman. Interestingly‚ I did skim it to check a fact or so#And learned that Gotham War had more of a proper built up on Catwoman's side. Or at least the built up from there felt more Organic#My further speculations about Gotham War in a meta level (as in‚ What The Fuck Was DC Thinking?) is that this was... an experiment of sorts#Because this story was spread out across 3 titles in its entirely. Batman book‚ Catwoman book‚ and the Batman/Catwoman Gotham War thing#This feels rather odd for me‚ but that can be because I'm relatively new and unfamiliar with how DC tries to farm money from Comics#The closest I can think of as a comparison would be Knight Terrors‚ which was self contained and the side stories were indeed just sides#Would I call it a successful experiment? Depends because it feels like everyone involved had their own goal in mind#Zdarsky has mentioned that Mindbomb is a story he's thought about for at least a /year/‚ and the built up towards it is very visible#Meanwhile the fact that a magic‚ immortality granting‚ parasitic-like meteor hit Gotham and became a Lazarus Pit (or Something Close to it)#That Amanda Waller has access to and is Studying‚ which ties with whatever she's been doing at each event finale#Is just briefly mentioned like a bare minimum to check off a box of sorts. Which ties with the idea of the Dawn of DC (Inter-connectivity)#(Not going to try to speculate what Tini Howard's goal might've been since not reading Catwoman and all)#But yeah. Before‚ I was skeptical that Mindbomb would be rough as it claimed to be‚ but now I'm. Afraid of what Zdarsky has planned#batman meta#dc comics#addition
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I mean?
Synopsis: On a press tour with your co-star Sebastian Stan, the interviewer asks you a question about another film he did and the answer surprises him.
Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Actress!Y/N
Word Count: IDK I'm too sleep deprived to count.
A/N: Bro I am on a resurgence. Might just fuck around and continue writing more fanfics or whatever.
It’s another busy day promoting your new movie with Sebastian, The Road Trip. It's a funny romcom about two best friends going on a long trip to see another friend who your character is dating. Interestingly enough, the guy who plays him is Chris Evans. The interviews are currently being done in pairs, and you're with Sebastian.
You've always been candid, speaking your mind without feeling shy. Deep down, you're a bit of a pessimist, accepting things as they are. When you first heard from your agent that you were cast in The Road Trip alongside Sebastian Stan and Chris Evans, you laughed hysterically. The idea that you, an unconventional beauty, were chosen to be on screen with those two seemed surreal. You never really think about dating co-stars, which helps with acting in general. The media is impressed with how chill you are around A-list actors, and even though it hasn’t fully sunk in yet, the industry has started promoting you to that list.
The interview has been going on for about 15 minutes when another journalist joins, mostly asking about the experience of working with the cast.
“It’s my first romcom, can you believe it?” you say.
“First?!” Sebastian stares in mock disbelief.
“I know, right?!” You feign surprise.
The interviewer continues, “How does it feel to do something lighter and a bit comedic for once?”
“You mean, a movie where no one dies?” Sebastian covers his mouth at your response.
“I mean essentially,” the interviewer laughs. “Wait, no one dies?!” They nudge you playfully.
“I mean, I’m not sure, no spoilers,” you say, breaking the fourth wall and looking into the camera. Sebastian cackles. “It’s definitely refreshing. It feels like going to school for some reason. Like I don’t want to miss a class just because I might miss something wild happening.”
“What?” Sebastian glares. “What school did you go to?”
“I mean, aside from the learning stuff…” You grimace. “It’s fun, honestly. I’d love to do more romcoms. It’s very down-to-earth and just resonates with you so much. I don’t wanna get too cheesy, but I’m such a hopeless romantic—this is my jam.”
“Sebastian, how’s your experience working with Chris again, this time outside of the Marvel universe?”
“Wait, this isn’t in the Marvel Universe?!” you butt in. Sebastian again, fakes a loud gasp. You two laugh. This interview feels like it’s going nowhere.
“It’s totally fun, as Y/N mentioned—it really is like going to class. But most of my scenes are with Y/N, so she’s like the lab partner I’ve never had. Chris was always texting us, checking which location we’re going to be at, making sure we’re scheduled on the same day. It’s fun when we’re both on set.”
You nod in agreement. “Yeah, we’ve got a good rhythm going. It’s like having a little family on set. Plus, Chris is always the one who brings snacks, so that’s a bonus.”
Sebastian laughs. “Oh, absolutely. Chris and his endless supply of trail mix.”
The interviewer chuckles. “Sounds like you all have a great dynamic. Was there a favorite scene you both enjoyed filming together?”
You think for a moment. “I really loved the scene where we’re stuck in the car during that rainstorm. It was so chaotic, but we had a blast improvising and just playing off each other.”
Sebastian nods. “Yeah, that was a good one. The rain machine was going full blast, and we were just trying not to crack up the entire time.”
The interviewer smiles. “It sounds like it was a lot of fun. And the chemistry definitely shows on screen. Speaking of different roles, Y/N, Sebastian’s been in the movie Fresh where he plays a sociopathic killer who preys on lonely women pretending to be a genuine guy.”
“I don’t like where this is going,” you say, laughing, as Sebastian shakes his head.
“Would you, like Noa, fall prey to Steve’s antics?” This question gets a louder laugh from Sebastian as your face shows pure shock. You hold him back with your hand and say,
“I’ve thought about this, to be honest,” you start, looking at Sebastian as he raises his eyebrows, impressed.
“Oh, you have?”
You laugh and continue, patting his thigh and looking back at the interviewer. “Me and my friend talked about it a while back. And it’s frightening because I would’ve probably ended up on a chopping block.”
“Noooo!” Sebastian shouts, “I was rooting for you.”
“No! But, like, you are incredibly good-looking and charismatic. It would be hard not to give my number at the grocery aisle.”
He tilts his head at your response. “Surely not good enough to get yourself killed?!”
“You’d be surprised how far I’d even go,” you say, as the interviewer laughs with you both. “Oh god, I need to call my therapist,” you add, ending the topic with the three of you gagging.
“Might just have to talk to mine too, after hearing that.”
You can already feel TikTok saving this clip and turning it into a meme.
You notice, after you call Sebastian good-looking, he’s been eyeing you sideways and biting his lip. As if he’s suddenly gone bashful. You can’t help but feel a boost in your ego. Could it be that Stan is shy? You make it a point to tease him for the remainder of the interview.
“What’s something funny or unexpected that happened on set?”
“Oh, there were so many moments,” you start. “One time, we were filming this really serious scene, and out of nowhere, a bird flew into the set and landed right on Sebastian’s shoulder.”
Sebastian laughs. “Yeah, I had no idea what to do. I just froze, and then Y/N started making bird noises to try and get it to fly away.”
You laugh, nodding. “It took a good ten minutes to get back into character after that. Everyone was cracking up.”
The interviewer grins. “That sounds hilarious. It’s great to hear that you all had such a good time. Speaking of moments on set, were there any funny or awkward moments while filming the more romantic or intimate scenes?”
Sebastian raises an eyebrow, smirking. “Oh, plenty. Like the time we were shooting that kiss scene in the rain, and Y/N kept slipping on the wet pavement.”
You roll your eyes playfully. “Hey, it was slippery! You were the one who can’t stop laughing during takes.”
Sebastian laughs. “True, true. But come on, we both know it was because you were so nervous about kissing me.” You notice him biting back.
You gasp in mock offense. “Excuse me, I was not nervous! I was just...distracted by how ridiculously good-looking you are. It’s hard to concentrate when you have that face right in front of you.” He smiles uncontrollably again, feeling defeated by your nonchalance. He wonders, how are you so good at this?
The interviewer laughs, clearly enjoying the banter. “So, who do you think had the hardest time keeping a straight face during those scenes?”
You both point at each other simultaneously, then laugh.
Sebastian leans back, shaking his head. “Definitely Y/N. There was this one scene where we were supposed to be having this deep, romantic conversation, and she just couldn’t stop giggling.”
You nudge him playfully. “Well, you weren’t helping with all your ad-libs! You kept whispering things like, ‘Is that your stomach growling or are you just happy to see me?’”
Sebastian laughs. “Hey, I was trying to lighten the mood! And let’s not forget the scene where we had to stare into each other’s eyes for what felt like an eternity. I swear, Y/N, you blink more than anyone I know.”
You smirk. “Only because I was trying to avoid getting lost in those baby blues of yours.” At this point, Sebastian was laughing hard, but feeling nervous at your jokes. He secretly wished it were all real, his ears were red and hot. He’s already thinking of how to approach you after the interview and get himself out of the friend zone which he didn’t even thought he’d be in, having found a new interest in you.
The interviewer looks between the two of you, amused. “It sounds like you both had a lot of fun with it. Do you think all that chemistry will translate to the screen?”
Sebastian nods. “Oh, definitely. I think our off-screen dynamic really helped make the on-screen relationship feel more genuine. Plus, Y/N here is an amazing actress. She made it easy.”
You smile, feeling a bit bashful. “Well, Sebastian’s not too bad himself. It’s hard not to enjoy working with someone who’s so talented and, let’s be honest, ridiculously attractive.”
Here she goes again .Sebastian grins. “Right back at you. But let’s be real, we’re both just incredibly good-looking people trying to make a movie here.” The internet is gonna have a field day.
The interviewer laughs. “Sounds like a tough job! Any last funny or romantic moments you’d like to share?”
You think for a moment. “There was this one scene where we had to dance together. Neither of us are professional dancers, so there were a lot of missteps and toe-stepping. But it ended up being one of the sweetest scenes because it felt so real and unpolished.”
Sebastian nods. “Yeah, that was a great scene. It was supposed to be this perfectly choreographed dance, but it turned into us just goofing around and having fun. I think it really captured the essence of our characters' relationship.”
The interviewer smiles, clearly delighted by your stories. “Well, thank you both for sharing these wonderful moments. It’s been a pleasure talking with you.”
As you and Sebastian leave the interview room, you head towards the lobby where a few other cast members are mingling. The energy is still high from the fun and laughter of the interview. Sebastian nudges you playfully as you walk.
“Hey, remember in the interview when you called me incredibly good-looking and charismatic?” he teases, a mischievous glint in his eye.
You roll your eyes, grinning. “Oh, come on. Don’t let it go to your head, Stan.”
He chuckles. “Too late. I’m pretty sure I’m going to bring that up every chance I get now.”
“You would,” you laugh, shaking your head. “ It’s not like I was lying.”
Sebastian stops walking, turning to face you. “Well, thank you. And for the record, you’re pretty incredible yourself. Both on screen and off.”
You feel a warm blush creeping up your cheeks, putting a palm to your chest as if to continue the gag. “Thanks, Seb. That means a lot.”
He smiles, his eyes softening. “No, really, it’s been really great working with you. I think we make a pretty good team.”
“I think so too,” you agree, feeling a flutter in your stomach, you realize he’s actually serious now. There’s a moment of silence as you both just look at each other, the playful teasing from earlier now replaced with something more tender.
Sebastian breaks the silence first. “So, what do you say we celebrate wrapping up the promotion tour? Maybe dinner tonight?”
You raise an eyebrow, teasingly. “Is this your way of asking me out, Stan?”
He grins, a little sheepishly. “Maybe it is. What do you think?”
You pretend to think about it for a moment, then nod. “I think it sounds like a great idea.”
“Perfect,” he says, looking genuinely pleased. “I’ll pick you up at eight?”
“Eight it is."
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#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#sebastian stan#sebastian stan x reader#marvel#sebastian stan fanfic#actress!reader#bucky barnes imagine#bucky x reader
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Finally~
I wanted to make a little something to say "Thank you for reading" to cap off WYS! Excuse me while I get mushy for a second-
Y’all are the reason this was able to get done. Your enthusiasm for updates and how the story unfolded really means so much to me. It was the little things that kept me motivated, even during the long hiatus. Seeing you guys pick up and point out little details sprinkled throughout the comic always made my day and gave me a sense of validation. Reactions to things like the surprise of Sans’ nightmare or Grillby’s comfort all made me super happy. And you guys gave the finale pages the sweetest reception I could ask for. l'm so grateful that you stuck around for the whole thing!
Overall, I’m very pleased with how this turned out! Interestingly, the main thing I’d want to change if given the chance is how I wrote Sans and Grillby themselves. Especially Sans’ dialogue. My characterization of them has changed quite a bit over the years (hard to tell bc I don’t draw them a lot atm). But that can’t really be helped. Just like the way that my art style changed over time. Hindsight does that stuff all the time. Nitpicking aside, I stand by the creative decisions made by 2019 Me
The funny part is that the original comic was 17 pages and I got them all done before hand so I wouldn't run into the issue of falling into a hiatus between pages!!! If y'all are interested in a bts post, I’ll try to dig up those og pages from my old computer. And maybe I'll show the even rougher epilogue draft I threw together for shits and giggles to see if I could get the page count to 69
Sansby has already been super special to me for a long time, finally getting this done and seeing the response strengthened that. I’ve had so many people find me through WYS over the years, it blows my mind. The messages from people who hold it dear really means the world! Without you guys this comic wouldn’t be what it is now. Thanks for Staying~
#undertale#sans#grillby#sansby#will you stay comic#fanart#digital art#procreate#artists on tumblr#long post
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every week there are things to do, and the next week will have more things to be done.... sometimes even have to do things multiple times a week. it's awful!! so terrible!!!! i keep going though
#this year has been kinda busy for me so far. doing a lot#the funny thing about having been a sedentary socially isolated shut-in for almost 20 years#is that every time i do lots for a few consecutive weeks i start to feel like i'll die if i don't take a couple weeks off to do nothing#but interestingly every time i try to specifically take a day or 2 off i always end up working on something else#so my baseline has shifted. now a do nothing day means still getting something done#like cooking dinner or going for a walk or doing some sketching#and the coolest part is that i'm having fun. like i'm going out and being active and social and doing new things and i'm enjoying it a lot#even though i feel so tired i keep finding the energy and will to do stuff in the moment#i think it's more about tricking myself and telling myself i'll take the week off so i can recalibrate#when what i'm really looking for is the freedom from commitment and the room to breathe that i get from telling myself i'm just gonna relax
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We all love the beach, right? I sure do. Where the sea meets the land is a magical place. It is the overlap of two very different worlds; our sunny, sandy, beautiful home and the alien waves that beckon you into the inhospitable wilderness of the ocean. When crossing that foam-fringed boundary, one must remember that you are no longer in your world. You are entering the sea, and the sea is vast and dark and dangerous. It is more untamed than the wildest jungle and full of creatures that can kill you in a hundred different gruesome ways. Every wave whispers to you that you do not belong here, you may only visit for a brief time if you want to leave with your life. Hold tight to the warm sunlit sand that fringes the barrier of this place, or you may never see it again. Welcome to the beach. Enter at your own risk.
1. Tamarama beach, Australia
This is know as both the smallest and the most dangerous beach in NSW. There is a permanent rip current that runs along the rocky northern shore, but at any given time there could be more hidden in the surf. Large waves break just a little ways offshore, posing a hazard to swimmers but an attraction for surfers. Although there are rarely deaths here, lifeguards have to rescue multiple people a day. Interestingly, this beach is only around sometimes! Occasionally all the sand will wash away and all that’s left is a rocky outcrop. There’s no way to be certain when the beach will come back or how big it will be or what it might look like. I guess it never gets boring to visit.
2. Isle of Ré, France
This island is not the only place you can go to see square waves, but it is one of the places most famous for this strange phenomenon. This is called a cross sea, and occurs when two opposing wave patterns intersect. Although this is certainly a tourist attraction, it is best to observe from a distance, as cross seas can be very dangerous to both ships and swimmers. Cross seas can cause powerful rip currents and walls of water up to 10 feet high, rolling ships and dragging people underwater. (As a side note, my mother thought I had made up cross seas as a freaky supernatural event in my book. Unfortunately, I did not.)
3. Dumas Beach, India
This is supposedly one of the most haunted places in India. Although this beach is full of tourists during the daytime, no one remains after dark, for fear that they will become the next ghost to wander the sand. Apparently, this beach was once used as a burial ground, and said to be black due to the human ashes mixed in. At night, people report hearing voices and seeing apparitions, and even dogs behave strangely once the sun goes down. There have also been multiple unexplained disappearances and at least one recorded death. Whether you believe in ghosts or not, there definitely seems to be something eerie happening on this beach.
4. Morecambe Bay, UK
This is an interesting one, as it’s not technically the water that’s dangerous. The ground is. This estuary features extreme tides, with the water level dropping and rising up to 32 feet twice a day. This exposes an expanse of mud flats and channels which are composed of loose, wet material that can absolutely suck you in and trap you. If this happens when the tide is coming in, it can quickly turn deadly. This has happened many times going back through history, including one incident in 2004 where 23 people died. Yes, all at the same time. No, I don’t want to delve into that incident too deeply in this list as it’s extremely horrifying and tragic. Feel free to research it yourself.
5. Monastery Beach, Oregon
This has earned its nickname “mortuary beach” by being extremely dangerous. Over 30 people have died here, including people who weren’t even in the water. In 2015, a woman walking along the beach was dragged in by a wave and drowned. The beach has multiple factors that make it so deadly, including a steep drop off, unpredictable waves, and strong undertows. This beach isn’t even safe to walk on. I um. Don’t like that.
6. Hanakapiai Beach, Hawaii
Despite its beauty, this Hawaiian beach is not recommended for swimming except for expert surfers. During the summer, this beach is a popular place for hiking, sunbathing and sightseeing, but during the winter the sand is washed away and the waves crash against the cliffs directly. Even in the relatively safe summer months, this beach has no barrier reef to break up the strong waves and powerful currents, which leads to a dangerous situation where swimmers can quickly be swept out into the open ocean and drown. At least 30 people have died here, and 15 of the bodies have never been recovered.
7. Lake Michigan. Just, all of it.
Despite all the Great Lakes being somewhat terrifying, Michigan takes the title of the most dangerous lake in the country. Yearly, Lake Michigan has more drownings than all four other Great Lakes combined. The reason that Michigan is especially hazardous is that, well, it’s kind of weirdly shaped. Thanks to its 300+ miles of uninterrupted parallel shorelines running north-south, it forms huge waves and strong riptides and long shore currents. It is also a question of numbers; Lake Michigan has more public beaches and large population centers than the other Great Lakes. All in all, a recipe for disaster.
8. Playa Zipolite, Mexico
This is also called the “beach of the dead”, so it’s inclusion on this list seems pretty self-explanatory. These waters have strong undercurrents that rotate in a circular pattern, either pushing you into shore or pulling you out to sea. There is a pervasive rumor that 50 people drown at this beach a year, although this is… somewhat exaggerated. In fact, very few people drown at this beach these days, as it has actually gotten less dangerous over the years. There used to be a steep drop-off that would catch people by surprise, but due to several severe storms in the early 2000s, the beach has eroded back and now gently slopes down instead. Although very few people die at this beach nowadays, multiple rescues are performed every day due to the dangerous currents.
9. Cyclops, Australia
This is a particular type of wave that forms off the coast of Esperance, Australia, as the sea floor rapidly goes from deep, open water to a very very shallow reef. It is… unsettling. The longer I look at it, the weirder it gets. It’s like an ai generated image. I couldn’t even pick one picture of it so I made you a collage.
It is considered one of the most dangerous surf spots in the world, and can only be accessed by boat. To quote pacific surf dot com, “the reason the wave is dangerous is because it does not act like any other wave in the world. It engulfs itself due to the massive change in the ocean floor when the wave rolls up.”
10. Nazare, Portugal
This area of Portugal is home to some of the biggest waves in the world. Just offshore is an underwater canyon, plunging down to 16,000 ft deep. This allows large, fast deep-water waves to move into shore unimpeded, and when they hit the shallows close to shore all the water gets suddenly pushed up, resulting in waves up to 80 ft tall. I think the picture speaks for itself in this case. Probably best to not get in the water if you see that shit.
That was fun, wasn’t it? Before I go, let me end this on a different note than the rest of my lists; some actual advice for if you should you ever decide to visit these beaches (or any beach, really). Rip currents are incredibly strong (believe me, I know) but very narrow currents that run perpendicular to shore. To get out of a rip current, swim parallel to shore. Trying to fight the current will just tire you out and eventually leave you exhausted and way the fuck out in the ocean, which is typically when you die. Swimming parallel to shore will get you out of the current, and once you’re free you can swim back in at your leisure. And, just in general, never fight the sea. The sea will win.
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☆ fluff, with mha spoilers about hawks’ fate (ch. 385&426)
“c’mon, stay still, keigo,” you remind him softly, adjusting the angle of his head with a hand at his chin. “i’m not gonna poke your eye out, don’t worry.”
“it looks really . . pointed,” keigo replies, eyeing the tip of the eyeliner pen cautiously. “and anyway, how’re your hands not shaking that bad?”
“practice,” you shrug, “but your talking is breaking up my concentration, y’know.”
“okay, okay,” he zips his lips and pretends to toss a key over his shoulder. you simply shake your head at keigo’s antics, bringing the tip of the pen to his eye again. this time, he manages to control his flinch enough to not mess up the wing you’re drawing.
keigo had been born with his birdlike quirk, fierce wings, which came along with many other avian characteristics. his astute, piercing golden eyes were a good example of what came along with his quirk. more interestingly, his eyes had always had dark markings around them—sharp lines and wings to further add to his birdlike appearance.
since losing his quirk to all for one on that vile day, in a battle that should’ve been won, keigo lost most of those odd little characteristics, the markings around his eyes being one of them. (of course, he never lost his penchant for fried chicken.) now, as the president of the hero public safety commission, he’s tasked with talking to all kinds of different heroes who certainly know who he used to be.
“you okay, kei? i’m gonna move onto the next eye, baby,” you whisper, so as not to startle him when he’s already gotten this relaxed. he nods, lost in thought.
not long after getting the job, keigo rushed to tell you the excellent news, and ask a simple request of you. he’d looked at you with his striking eyes, the skin around them empty and bare.
“so, y’know the marks i had around my eyes? the black birdie ones?” keigo seriously described it to you as if you’d never seen them a day in your life.
“of course, kei. why . . ?”
“so, i’ve gotta go into work and talk to people every day. i’m still hawks, the cool cool cool retired number two prohero, just without the wings and eye makeup.” his voice drifted off as he patted around behind him, momentarily expecting to be met with the softness of his downy vermillion feathers.
you nodded silently, heart squeezing sadly for him. he chuckled awkwardly and cleared his throat, “anyway, i’d like you to do the eyeliner for me each day. i know, i know, it’s kinda ridiculous, but it would really mean a lot to me.”
keigo looks back wistfully, turning the memory over in his head a few times while you color in the wing and prepare to add the detail to his inner corner, all from memory. as the tip of the pen strokes over the delicate skin, he loosens up more, letting you nudge his face left and right without that nervous stiffness from before.
he notices the way your brows knit in concentration, the tight grip you’ve got on the eyeliner pen, and the lightness in which you use it on him. it’s ridiculous how something so small can mean this much—warmth rises to his cheeks and colors them something rosy.
“and . . done!” you exclaim, stepping back to admire your handiwork. “kei, you’ll love this.”
“lemme see the mirror, dovey,” keigo chuckles happily, gesturing for you to step to the side. as he stares into his reflection in the vanity, he can see red feathers surrounding his shoulders and the space behind them. a squint of his eyes has them fading away, and he clears his throat shakily to focus on the makeup.
behind him, you rest your hands on his shoulders, rubbing them soothingly as though you know what he’s thinking. the black makeup around his eyes and in the inner corners looks natural, complimenting his face perfectly. you’d managed to pull something this accurate off, just from memory—keigo sniffles, rising to his feet from the chair. he envelops you in a strong hug, tucking his face into your neck carefully so as not to smear your work.
“you did such a great job, dovey,” keigo whispers into your skin, fingers squeezing you. “i can’t wait for you to do this for me every morning.”
“really?” you ask, swaying a little with him in your arms. “my makeup skills are that good?”
“of course they are!” he exclaims, “but seriously though, thank you. i felt naked without the eyeliner.”
your cheeks warm and you giggle; keigo’s heart flutters with adoration, no longer grounded. he doesn’t want to let you go just yet, but he steps back curiously, fiddling around with the eyeliner pen. you gasp accusingly—he’d swiped it from you without letting you notice.
he flashes you a silly smile, dangling the pen from his fingertips with mirth sparkling in his gold eyes. “hey, mind if i try on you? we can match!”
#kurooh#he’s so cutie#hawks x reader#hawks fluff#hawks x you#mha hawks#keigo x reader#keigo x you#mha x reader#mha fluff#mha x you#mha headcanons#mha fanfiction#fluff#hawks#bnha fluff#bnha x you#bnha x reader
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Second Chances
Summary: It’s not common knowledge that you have a superpower: regeneration. You didn’t think that would be a problem... Jason and Damian think otherwise.
Relationships: Jason Todd x Vigilante!Reader, Damian Wayne & Jason Todd & Reader (platonic because they’re brothers duh)
DAMIAN WAYNE IS MY SON I LOVE HIM SO MUCH (I just watched the Supersons movie he makes me smile so hard)
Word Count: 4.8k
Content warning for temporary character death. Reader’s vigilante name is Ghoul, BTW.
Jason is in the shower when he hears someone break into his apartment.
He groans, makes sure all the shampoo is rinsed out of his hair, then grabs the knife mounted to his curtain rod. It’s not the first time someone has attacked him in the shower, and it probably won’t be the last. Still, Jason wishes they would at least give him time to grab a towel. It’s just as uncomfortable for him as it is for them.
This time, they actually do. Maybe they’re going to be polite enough to wait for him to finish cleaning all of Gotham’s sludge off his body. Jason would appreciate the sentiment more if the upcoming fight wouldn’t immediately dirty his body again with their blood.
He doesn’t turn off the shower when he steps out, dries his feet on the bath mat. He’s reaching for his towel when he hears one of the intruders say something.
He recognizes that voice.
Jason sticks his head out of the bathroom and glowers. “What are you doing here, brat?”
Damian Wayne, one of Bruce Wayne’s many children and the current Robin, scowls right back. “Why is your shower still running, Todd? Do you not care for conservation efforts? There are people in Michigan who would—”
“Okay, Dami,” interrupts another voice.
Jason’s whole body flushes. He makes sure every part of him except his face is hidden behind the door when a second person comes into view.
Your vigilante costume is zipped halfway, the top pulled down and sleeves tied around your waist, exposing the compression shirt with kevlar-like weave you wore beneath it. A large bandage is wrapped around your upper arm, growing redder by the second.
“Hi, Y/N,” Jason says. Does he sound too excited? Does he not sound excited enough?
You just smile. “Hey, Jace. Sorry, we came by for first aid supplies. We’ll be out of your hair in just a sec.”
“No, don’t rush on my account,” Jason says. Does he sound too desperate? “Just give me a—”
He ducks back into the bathroom to turn off the shower after making sure he’s clean and one hundred percent soap-free. Not expecting company, he’d only brought a pair of boxers and military-style shorts in with him. Rushing, hoping you don’t leave before he gets out (Damian can leave, though) he pulls both on and slams the door open.
It hits the wall so hard it rebounds back into Jason’s hand. You jump at the sound, nearly poking Damian with the needle in your hand.
“Watch it, idiot!” Damian snaps. To Jason, he says, “You just dented your wall. Moron.”
“Don’t talk to them like that,” Jason says sternly. God, he knows why the brat is so prickly, but he still got on Jason’s last nerves. He checks the wall, hoping the brat exaggerated, but nope. Another dent to match the nicks, scrapes, and bullet holes that already littered his apartment.
He is never getting back his security deposit.
You’re about to stitch up a cut on Damian’s arm when Jason clucks his tongue. “That doesn’t look good.” The bandage around your arm is sodden with blood.
“It’s not as bad as it looks,” you say dismissively. “Ready, Dami?”
Interestingly enough, the brat doesn’t tell you off for giving him a nickname. It seems to be a privilege reserved exclusively for you and Dick; every time Jason tries, he’s vehemently told off.
Then again, his nicknames are usually derogatory. That might contribute to it a little bit.
Damian sets his jaw and you stitch him up quickly, murmuring, “I’m sorry,” every time his fingers twitch—the only indication of pain he’ll show. Jason eyes the bandage around your arm with worry, but the blood stain doesn’t grow any more in the interim.
As soon as you tie off the thread, Damian hops to his feet and scurries for the bathroom. You start to get up, brow pinched with worry, but Jason says, “Let me look at your arm.”
Your eyes take a while to slide from the shut bathroom door to Jason’s face, but then you say, “Yeah, okay,” and sink back into your chair.
To distract you as he unpeels the sticky bandage from your arm, Jason asks, “So you’re on babysitting duty now, huh?”
“Oh, no, Damian and I patrol together every Friday night.” You use finger quotes with the other hand and say, “B think it ‘promotes more accountability’ when someone gets injured during patrol if they have a partner.”
Jason frowns at the sight of the cut. It’s obviously from a knife, and not pretty, exactly, but also not big enough to let out as much blood as soaked through the bandage. “Who did this to you?”
“Just a typical goon. It’s really not a big deal.” Your eyes follow Jason’s gaze. “I guess it bled a lot, huh? Like a head wound. You know, disproportionate.” You tug your sleeve over the wound.
“Y/N is not as weak as the rest of you,” Damian sneers, having vacated the bathroom on silent feet. You jump, and so does Jason, even though he has Batman-honed instincts.
There’s just something intoxicating about your presence. You’re… distracting.
It was manageable back before Jason was Robin and you were one of his classmates. You were obsessed with Batman and crimefighting, and Jason was a bookworm, so your friendship shouldn’t have worked, but it did.
Then, ironically, Bruce Wayne adopted him and Jason became the crimefighter. He never told you about his identity to protect Bruce’s, but you figured it out when he died.
Then he came back to Gotham, hellbent on revenge, and burned every bridge he’d ever built. Including the one with you.
Jason still could barely believe you give him the time of day after all the awful things he’d said and done. But you’re just as obsessed with redemption and forgiveness as Bruce, and he will never take that for granted.
His fascination with you was manageable before Jason died, but it’s downright consuming now.
Jason can’t believe how you’d grown up to be so… so flat-out amazing. Graceful, and maybe not as skilled at hand-to-hand as the rest of Gotham’s vigilantes, but you adapt with a long-range fighting style. You’re strong, and self-assured, and really, seriously gorgeous.
Jason realizes his hand is still on your arm, touching the soft skin, and he yanks it away as if burnt. He doesn’t understand how you remain so scar-free despite years of crimefighting, and he’s abruptly self-conscious about the marks that litter his torso, arms, and legs. Your eyes roam over them, lingering on his chest and stomach
He’s most self-conscious about the jagged ‘J’ carved into his cheek, and Jason tries to cover it with his hand without drawing attention. That doesn’t work—he looks like a weirdo waving his hands around—so he tilts his cheek away so you don’t have to see it anymore.
You clear your throat and look away, as if embarrassed for some reason.
Damian’s gaze pingpongs between the two of you before he rolls his eyes, sighing dramatically. “Are you two finished?”
You push away from the table and make a grabby hand. Damian rolls his eyes again, but he sidles closer, and you check his stitched cut. Your thumb rubs over the raised line of stitches like you’re trying to wipe his pain away.
Jason realizes he’s staring at the bottom lip you’re jutting out in sympathy. He flushes again.
After everything he did, he can’t expect anything more than friendship from you. If that’s what you’re willing to give, he’ll never push for more.
“I am fine, Y/N,” Damian said, pushing your hand away, albeit gently. A hint of whine entered his voice and Jason blinked. It wasn’t often that he heard Damian sound like an actual kid. “Can we resume patrol now?”
“Wait,” Jason hears someone say, and it’s—him, he’s the one saying it. “Are you hungry? I have a casserole in the oven.”
Damian snorts. “My apologies. I did not know you had adopted the personality of a middle-aged white wom—”
You cover Damian’s mouth with your hand and say, “That sounds great, Jay. Thanks.”
Jason’s greedy. He’ll take whatever scraps he can get from you.
The three of you eat, the conversation pleasant whenever Damian isn’t threatening Jason because Jason taunted him. You laugh as they bicker, used to the antics of Gotham’s vigilantes by now.
Once everyone is done, it’s just about time for the Red Hood to start his patrol, so with a little cajoling from you, Damian agrees to let Jason tag along until your patrol ends. Jason suits up, and you lead the charge out of his apartment window, followed by Damian. Jason is last out, stopping briefly to make sure the window latches before stepping off the fire escape.
The sensation of his stomach rising is familiar from so many years of grappling through the city, but no less exhilarating. He follows your and Robin’s flipping shapes as the two of you tear through the city. The bright primary color accents on Robin’s suit and the pale gray color of your own shouldn’t blend in so well with Gotham’s shadows, but you and Damian manage pretty well. It turns into kind of a game of tag, and whenever he gets close enough, you grin and twist away, muffling laughter behind one hand.
He could definitely catch you, but he thinks you’re enjoying the game of cat-and-mouse just as much as he, if not more.
Jason’s just thinking to himself that there’s not much crime tonight when the Batsignal lights up the sky.
“Way to ruin the mood,” he grumbles. The game is over. The three of you grapple toward the giant light without any more flipping or laughter.
Jim Gordon obviously isn’t expecting them when they land. After all, it’s common knowledge that Ghoul is a Bat-affiliate, but Red Hood’s alliance with the Batclan is still relatively new. Shaky.
And a lot of people still think the Red Hood hates Ghoul. Admittedly, the way Jason tried to kill you when he returned hadn’t helped the rumors.
It made sense at the time. He’d also tried to kill Batman, Nightwing, and Robin, so it’s not like it was entirely personal. You don’t hold a grudge.
“Where’s Batman?” is his first question.
You shrug. “Running late.”
Jason’s not sure if that’s true. With you and Robin patrolling Newtown and Otisburg, Spoiler and Red Robin handling everything from the Coventry to the Upper East Side, and Black Bat and Batwing watching over everything else but the Tricorner, the city is in pretty good hands for the night.
And yes, Jason’s knowledge about patrol schedules is from his days as a crime lord, but it still comes in handy as a reformed vigilante.
“Why did you summon us here, Commissioner?” Robin asks.
“Bane escaped Arkham earlier tonight,” says the Commissioner. “We have reason to believe he’s hiding out in Amusement Mile. The Joker’s not out, for one, and we have a… witness… that claims to have seen Bane in the park.”
“Where is this witness?” Robin demands.
“In our holding cell, sobering up,” Gordon says with a long-suffering sigh.
“Oh, great,” Jason says. “So it might have been Bane, or it might have been one of those giant stuffed bears at every amusement park.”
You elbow him in the side and promise Gordon, “We’ll check it out, Commish. Let you know when he’s handled again!”
You and Robin balance on the edge of the roof. Jason asks in a low tone, “Batman’s not coming tonight, is he?” He would have already been here.
You and Robin share a guilty look.
Jason sighs. Bane is a tough opponent, possibly their strongest rogue. It’ll take a lot of force to bring him down… force he’s not sure you and Robin can muster. You’re good vigilantes, don’t get him wrong, but Robin is a prepubescent boy and has the height and muscle mass to show for it. You’re strong and graceful and should be fine as long as you keep your distance, but Jason’s the only one that comes close to Bane in terms of muscle mass.
It’ll be up to him to keep the two of you safe.
“I think I parked my bike somewhere around here,” you say. “It’ll get us there faster than grappling.”
Jason thinks something is stuck in his throat. He croaks, “You have a motorcycle?”
You nod. He can’t see your face beneath the mask, but he’s pretty sure you’re smiling. “Got it just a couple weeks ago, but I needed Earl to paint it over.”
“It is parked in that alley.” Robin points.
“Okay,” Jason says. “You two drive to my apartment. I’ll follow above, then we’ll head to Amusement Mile.”
“Aye-aye,” you joke. “Come on, bud.”
You and Robin swing away, the younger boy loudly complaining about the myriad nicknames you think up for him. Jason swings away to get a headstart. A minute later, the sound of a bike engine revving hits Jason’s ears, and it isn’t long after that he looks down to see you and Robin on a pale bike painted in the same colors as your suit.
You look up and wave.
Jason almost misses his next swing. He swallows and has to look away. Seeing you on a motorcycle…
As soon as he puts the key in his bike’s ignition, you speed away, tires squealing against the asphalt. Jason grins and twists the throttle. He shoots onto the street and hunches low to decrease wind resistance, pushing the bike hard to catch up to you.
You wear no helmet, but you’d forced Robin to wear one. He sits behind you on the bike, arms locked around your waist. At the sight of Jason, he makes a rude gesture, but Jason just huffs out a laugh. The brat likes to aggravate him on purpose, but it’s hard to feel annoyed when he drives next to you, racing side-by-side.
It doesn’t take long to reach Amusement Mile. You and Jason shift gears, rolling to a stop.
“You and Robin go high,” Jason instructs. “I’ll go low.”
“Roger.” You kick the stand for your bike, then you and Robin shoot your grapples for the nearest roof.
In seconds, the two of you are out of sight.
Jason swallows. He hates this strip of clown-themed land. The Joker isn’t in it currently, but it still reminds him of that madman.
Come on. He shakes himself. Jason can’t afford to get distracted. Bane is dangerous.
Jason makes no effort to muffle the sounds of his footsteps as he strolls through the park. A plastic bag drifts along the path with a gust of wind, and a couple bowling pins on the ground roll. But apart from that, the park is empty and quiet.
Too quiet.
Jason turns just in time to avoid a crushing blow to his head.
He hits the ground rolling and comes up with guns blazing. Bullets deflect off Bane’s armor, and he doesn’t seem to feel the ones that burrow into his skin.
“You will not stop me, Red Hood,” says the mechanized voice. “No one will stop me in my pursuit to break Batman, even though he sent you in his place.”
“He didn’t send me,” says Jason.
Help comes from above. A steel bola—one of your weapons of choice—whips through the air and wraps around Bane’s throat. He chokes and reaches up to untangle it. At the same time, a Batarang slices through the air and cuts straight through one of the hoses pumping super-steroid into his body.
He groans. Drops to one knee.
Jason spares a glance to the rooftops, but he only sees Robin.
That moment of distraction costs him. Bane surges back to his feet and tackles him. Jason hits the ground, the back of his head colliding against the pavement so hard his vision blacks out for a moment.
He blinks away the darkness in time to see a punishing fist aimed right for his head. There’s not enough time to dodge. Jason can only brace for an impact… that never comes.
The hook of a grapple is embedded into Bane’s wrist. Its line is taught. On the roof of a decrepit popcorn stand, Robin yanks back with all his might.
Jason knees Bane in the crotch, then elbows him in the face.
Bane grunts and yanks his arm forward, pulling Robin right to the ground in a flutter of cape, but Jason slips out from beneath him and rolls to his feet. Bane may be strong, and his hits may hurt, but that’s only if they connect. And Bane isn’t very fast.
The engine of a bike roars, and your voice shouts, “Hood, out of the way!”
Jason obeys without thinking. It’s a good thing he doesn’t hesitate, because he barely dodges your motorcycle before you ram it full-speed into Bane.
Not even the giant can resist a motorcycle going full-throttle. He topples back, and you keep driving, treating his body like a ramp.
Jason laughs despite himself. “I can see tire tracks on your face, ugly!” He and Robin throw knives at the same time. Robin’s slices off another steroid line. Jason’s lodges in Bane’s shoulder. It should have severed his deltoid, leaving his arms useless, but the man doesn’t react to the pain at all.
Getting run over pisses Bane off. You turn in a sharp circle on the bike and rev your engine, obviously ready to try the same trick twice.
But Jason sees the tension in Bane’s legs, and he’s shouting for you to stop after you start.
You don’t listen. You just drive.
Bane sidesteps your bike at the last possible second, and his arm shoots out. His hand is large enough to wrap around your entire throat, and it yanks you off your bike, which skids away with a screech of tire and metal. You choke, scrabbling at the iron fingers around your throat.
Jason has his gun out in a second, but Bane holds your body in front of his. So Jason shoots his foot. It doesn't have an effect.
“Ghoul!” Robin shouts. He unsheathes his katana.
“I tire of this,” Bane says through his modulator.
He snaps your neck.
“NO!”
It’s like the world slows down. Jason can only watch as Bane carelessly drops your lifeless body.
He sees Robin lunge with his sword. He sees Bane casually backhand him so hard he drops his katana. Robin flies backward, hits the popcorn stand, and slumps to the ground, motionless.
Bane steps on you—your body—and something in your spine cracks. Something in Jason’s chest cracks, too, and he sees green.
The Pit surges.
After it recedes, Robin’s katana is lodged firmly in a moaning Bane’s side. Every one of his steroid pumps is severed, and his mask is cracked. He’s weak enough without his Venom that three Bat-restraints and a set of handcuffs can hold him.
Huh. Jason’s surprised he didn’t kill him.
His knuckles are bleeding; they’re slick inside his gloves. When he flexes his fingers, pain screams up his nerves, through his arm all the way to his heart. At least two are broken, and another knuckle might be dislocated. His jaw hurts, his brain is pounding—concussion, probably—and his knee feels swollen. But he can put pressure on it, at least, and he limps to a stirring Robin.
“Hey,” Jason says. His voice is rough. He doesn’t remember yelling. He tries to crouch, but can’t with the stiff knee, so he just kind of collapses in front of the kid. “Robin. Status report.”
The kid looks at him, wobbling even though he’s sitting down. One hand goes up to touch the back of his head, and the tips of his gloves gleam with dark blood when he pulls it back. “Possible concussion,” he says with a wavering voice. “Ribs—”
Robin gasps and stumbles to his feet.
“Don’t—”
Jason tries to grab him, but Robin wobbles out of his reach. He walks hunched over in a zigzag, limping to your—
Jason grunts and stands back up. “Hey, hey, Robin.” He gets between the kid and you. “Don’t. Don’t—don’t look.”
“Do not stop me, Todd,” hisses the kid, and wow, he must be seriously out of it to use Jason’s civilian name. “Let me see them.”
“You don’t want to,” Jason says grimly. He’s seen snapped necks before, and they’re… Well, they’re as unnatural-looking as they sound.
He hears a rushing in his ears. A wave of grief is cresting, ready to sweep him away, but Jason has to keep it together for Robin. He barely hears his own voice when he says, “Ghoul’s gone.” He can’t say the ‘D’ word. Not when he feels like puking.
“Unhand me, you blackguard,” Robin hissed. “You do not understand. They might be—”
“They’re not.”
“Todd!” the kid says, voice rising into a shrill.
Something clicks behind them.
Jason whirls around to make sure Bane hasn’t broken out of his restraints.
He hasn’t.
So what made the noise?
He and Robin are looking right at the body when some invisible force takes your head and—and wrenches it.
Robin lets out a low cry.
Jason feels frozen. He doesn’t stop the kid when he stumbles forward and collapses next to the body. His shoulders shake, head bowed with grief.
Jason is still watching when he sees your chest rise and fall with a breath.
“Oh, what the fuck,” he whispers, stumbling back. “What the fuck, what the fuck, what the—”
Your head raises, and you reach to your neck with a wince.
Robin freezes.
“Ow,” you grumble, pushing up to your elbows. “That sucked.”
“What the fuck?” Jason exclaims.
“What is going on?” Robin demands.
You look between the two vigilantes. “Sorry to freak you out, guys.” Which is a completely underwhelming thing to say when you just died and then unsnapped your own neck.
Robin makes a low, wounded sound, then throws himself at you, wrapping his arms around your neck and squeezing hard. You hug him back just as tight, murmuring low things that Jason tries not to hear. It’s a personal moment, and he feels like an intruder, but he can’t move. His feet are planted to the ground.
Seconds ago, you’d been dead. No doubt about it. Bane had snapped your neck and you had crumbled like paper.
Now you’re breathing and alive.
It doesn’t compute. It doesn’t make any sense.
Robin comes to the same conclusion, because he pulls away and pinches your arm. “How is this possible?”
“Bud, do you remember when… you remember when Pyg got me, right?”
“Of course.”
“Well, I don’t,” says Jason. Professor Pyg kidnapped you? What the fuck? When did that happen?
You look up at him, still holding Robin close. “We weren’t exactly on speaking terms when it happened, Hood.”
Oh.
“But Father ran his tests and said his experimentation just gave you advanced healing,” says Robin.
“Which is technically true—”
“Resurrection is quite different from healing!” the kid says.
“Wait, you knew they had powers?” Jason asks Robin.
The kid sneers at him. “Of course. I was the one that found Ghoul, and I patrol with them at least once a week. It would take an unobservant fool to miss their obvious healing abilities."
Jason bristles with indignation.
Robin's head turns on a swivel to glare at you. "It was less obvious that you have nothing to fear from physical injuries. Informing me of this fact would have greatly reduced the chances of experiencing emotional distress at the sight of your dead, mangled body."
"I know," you say, cupping his chin in your hand. "I'm really, really sorry, Dami."
"Do not address me as such," he says, "we are in costume." Robin huffs and scrambles out of your lap, brushing debris off his suit. Then he wobbles and nearly falls over, and you lunge to catch him.
"Woah, bud, you okay?"
"He's concussed," Jason says.
"Too concussed to ride on the back of my bike?"
"Of course not," says Robin. Then he leans over and pukes.
"Oh, Batman's gonna kill me," you mutter.
It's a much tamer drive to the Batcave, in case Robin rolls off the bike accidentally. He doesn't, but you do have to stop a couple of times so he can lean over the side and retch.
When all is said and done and you're back at the Cave and Alfred and Bruce are fussing over Damian, you and Jason hang back a bit. He can't stop sneaking glances at you. Your Ghoul mask is off, and there's a little dried blood around your nostrils, and your hair is a little sweaty, but you're the most beautiful thing Jason's ever seen.
You're alive. He can hardly believe it.
You suddenly sigh and mutter, "I guess you're mad at me, too?"
"What?" Jason startles.
"For not telling you about my abilities."
"Y/N—"
"I just didn't want you guys to think of me differently. Duke has his powers, yeah, but he was born with them. I got mine from Pyg. I didn't want everyone to start treating me like a victim."
All things considered, you're remarkably well-adjusted for someone that survived Professor Pyg's experimentation. "You're the strongest person I've ever met, Y/N," says Jason. "Your powers don't change that. They make me feel a little better about you patrolling at night, anyway. They're basically like... a second chance."
You snort. "I think I'm on my fifth chance by this point."
Jason shakes his head. "How did you keep your powers a secret, again?"
"Well, the first time, Pyg shut off my heart, but that didn't shut down my body. When I actually noticed that I couldn't die, though, was that time one of Cobblepot's goons stabbed me in the neck and I woke up in the middle of a shootout. Now that wasn't fun." You grimace. "A bullet caught me in the head and I died as soon as I sat up. The Bats were too preoccupied to notice me, luckily. Then there was that time with the poison dart that I kept a secret, and now this time." You smirk, cross your arms, and bump Jason's hip with your own. "I'm beating you in the resurrection department, aren't I?"
Jason huffs, pretending to be offended, and your eyes widen. "Oh, my God. That was in such poor taste. I'm so sorry."
"No," he says, trying to hide the twist of his lips. If it was anyone else saying it, Jason would probably kill them. "No, it's okay. I'm just glad you're all right. It would have been awful if you'd died and I never took the chance to..."
"Chance to what?" You look up at him through your eyelashes.
Jason's breath catches in his throat. He's never done this before, dammit, but seeing you die today made him remember just how limited their time is as vigilantes.
Well, maybe not yours, but he walks a thin line.
"Doyouwanttogetcoffeewithme?"
You blink. "What?"
"Do you," Jason says slowly, feeling sweat prickle on his hairline, "want to... Um. Get coffee? With me. As in, like—"
"A date?"
"Only if you want to."
You nod, eyes sparkling. "Hell yeah I want to!"
Damian, Bruce, and Alfred look over at your raised voice. Their disapproving smiles are all eerily similar.
"Sorry," you whisper. You look back at Jason and say, "Yeah, I'd like that. I've been waiting ages for you to ask."
Yes. You said yes. Adrenaline rushes through Jason's veins, and he only barely resists the urge to pump his fist in the air like a moron. He's brave enough to tease, "Well, why didn't you ask me?"
Your face flushes and you look away.
It's at that moment that Damian calls, "Y/N. Stop twittering with Todd and come here. Your presence is required."
"Seriously," Jason said under his breath, "the way he talks like a Victorian child doesn't bother you at all?"
You're smiling. "I think he's adorable." You walk backwards to the brat, making a phone gesture with your hand and mouthing to Jason, Call me.
He definitely will.
"Master Jason," comes Alfred's disapproving voice when he turns back to his bike. "Don't think I didn't notice that you have your own injuries to tend to."
Of course, that sets off Bruce's worry alert even more.
Jason groans. He won't be able to sneak out for coffee with you for an entire week after this whole debacle.
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Forever tag list
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Let me know if there's anything you guys want to see with Jason in the future. My requests are open!
#jason todd x y/n#reader insert#jason todd#jason todd fic#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#damian wayne#damian wayne & reader#vigilante reader
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fwb, relationships, small angst, smut. long fic alert, not proof read, some fluff and some jokey jokes :p worked on this since 11 am.
katsuki bakugou didnt do the whole relationship thing. he felt like it was.. too intimate, too intense for him. a mere distraction for him and his career.
he thinks hes the only one who thinks that, seeing how shitty hair and pinky got together. the way that idiot and the emo chick were always together— fuck, chargebolt made her his whole life, which was fucking ridiculous.
he was more fond of the casual fucking, either going on tinder or hinge or whatever fucking apps there were. his account was booming though, several thousand of messages every five minutes. it annoyed him, shockingly.
“dude, can i get a fuckin’ minute of peace?” he barks out, silencing his phone and pinching his bridge.
“bro, you literally downloaded a dating slash fucking app, and you are the second pro hero.” kirishima reminded him, feet on the coffee table and swigging his soda. “get what you paid for.”
“get your fucking feet off’a my damn table, are you a caveman?”
he hated how kirishima was right, thinking he wouldnt get some kind of attention from an app when he was a hero, an attractive one at that.
so he deleted it, he’ll try going out more than possibly be stalked on a dating app.
he hated how every woman threw themselves at him when they saw him, he doesnt like that much attention. even in highschool, it overwhelms him. every girl in this damned bar was all over him.
well… excepting one. which so happened to be you, you just wanted to be left alone and drink to your hearts content. bakugou can clearly see that, and keeps an eye on your for a bit. later on though? oh he’s gotten loose enough to finally come up to you with ease.
“what’cha drinkin?” he asks, an arm supporting his weight on the bar table.. his cheeks were a slight pink, but he doesnt drink enough to make himself so tipsy or drunk.
“strawberry mimosa?” you chuckle, it literally says it on the can. “you must be blind or drunk to not be able to see that.”
an eyebrow of his quirks up, he’s intrigued. “i ain’t drunk, hon’.” he chuckles, “and do you even know who i am?”
“even if you are the ‘great explosion murder god, dynamight,’ yer off duty.” you snark back, hearing a baritone laugh come from his throat.
“and how would you know that?”
“well, pretty sure they wouldnt let you drink onna’ job.” you retort, turning to him now and crossing your legs. you hear a ‘yeah?’ and you nod.
“you sure, sweetheart?” he asks, taking another sip of his ‘oktober fest’. he sees you nod, and he hums. “how are you so sure?”
“pretty sure its common knowledge, but, common sense aint common no more.” you pull the final last word, dynamight nodding and tilting his drink to yours. you both clink your drinks together, holding the eye contact that he initiated.
the drive home was hell, the way he had struggled to keep his eyes on the road, your foot sliding across his lap and feeling him slowly get solid by the second.. you were a little vixen werent you? and to open the door without dropping you was more smooth than anything.
he practically ripped your clothes off, a nipple becoming his first victim and you arching into his mouth. he chuckled, youre so sensitive, arent you baby?
god, he hasnt had a good pussy in a long time.
his body molded into yours, kissing your neck and then lying you down and dragging his tongue down your supple skin until he got to your ankles, then back up to your nipples.
he never kissed your lips though, yet, he also didnt taste you.
the crack of the morning dawn showed its ass bright and early, your frame still within the bed and he was on the other side. interestingly, you both groan groggily and flutter your eyes open, head peering up and looking around.
lucky for you both, you werent hung over. you both peak over to each other.
one blink, two blinks, three blinks… bitch, say something!
“uh—“ you both say, redirecting your gazes and chuckling.
“you wanna go or me go?” he asks, watching you point to him and he nods. “did you like last night?” he asks, just a common courtesy to ask. he sometimes cared. it just depended on how you were in bed.
“i liked it,” you said, getting up and putting your panties on. “i did sleep with the second pro hero.”
he hums only.
“did you walk or drive to the bar?” he asks, pulling up ‘uber’ and looking to you. you mutter a ‘walk.’ and you give him the addresses to your house.
“you just randomly give out your address?” he asks, an eyebrow raised and hes hunched over.
“you just sleep with random people you dont know?”
he sucks his teeth, “you got such a mouth on you.” he taps on the confirmation button, “your uber will be here in thirty.”
“you seemed to love it last night, dynamight.” you glares at you for a second, you putting your dress back on and smirking. “but thank you, sir.”
sir?
you both make small talk, until the uber gets here and dynamight walks you to the car. he leans against the door frame, watching you strap in and take off.
katsuki bakugou wasnt a relationship type man. no, those were distracting and too intense for him. but yet, he invited you over again after exchanging numbers.
this was just casual sex, nothing more nothing less.
“you mean to fuckin tell me—“ he cuts himself off, pausing the show that you both were watching. “you ain’t never had your pussy eaten?”
“well.. no? thats bad?” you ask, taking a sip of the apple cider he brought from his fridge. “you cant get mad either, you haven’t either.”
“i had eaten something spicy, you want burnin’ pussy?” he retorts, taking a sip of water to cleanse his palette. “dont answer that, just lie the fuck back.” he shakes his head, softly pushing you back.
“sir, yes sir.” you joke, feeling his body weight hover over you and kiss your neck. you moan, feeling your shirt be pushed up and shorts be pulled down. he kisses your inner thigh, licking a long stripe up your bare clit— you pulling back for a second.
he peers up at you, heavy and lidded eye’s looking at you. “you good?” he asks, pausing all movement. you nod, feeling him hum and then slowly and softly kiss your clit again. you settle down, moaning his hero name, thats all you know him by.
“call me katsuki, hon’.” he mumbles in your pussy, spreading your lower lips apart and putting your clit in his mouth. he suckles on it like the sweetest candy he’s tasted, his cock starting to get harder by the second.
your breath is starting to hitch, a hand flying to his hair and gripping at the root. he grunts, eyes rolling back for a second and then hips bucking into the couch.
“fuck— mhm.. pull my shit, baby.” he groans, moving down your slit and putting your legs onto his shoulders. his tongue alone is making you clamp down on nothing, he can feel it.
your hips move on their own, grinding down against his lips and chin and he lets you use him, use him to make you feel good and cum on his face like no other. he takes pride in this, being the only one whos ever made you writhe in pleasure because of him.
“go ‘head, come on my face, mama.” and that only set you off, legs trying to close as your orgasm ripples through you in waves and he laughs, rubbing circles in your clit to add more to it. you try to close your legs, you try to push his hands away, only for him to swat at them. “aht aht, dont you fuckin’ go anywhere.”
you lie limp, feeling drained and youre trying to come down from your high and how good it feels to be devoured by him. “you said.. katsuki?” you whisper, and he finishes cleaning up the spit that dribbled down your cheeks and up your back.
“yeah.” he reiterated, pulling your shorts back up and patting your clothed cunt, watching you jerk.
katsuki bakugou wasnt into relationships, no, fuck that. he wasnt into the intense stuff and was damn sure not really intimate.
but yet, he finds himself liking the little things on social media, primarily tiktok. he hates the way people look so happy within relationships, some of them even being heros in different countries or even just here. but, he hates the way it gives him ideas, and brings a smile to his face.
ping!
he looks back at your messages, a small smile on his face and he feels his heart race—
the fuck was his heart racing for?
“do you want to go out for dinner tonight?” he replies back, feeling a pang in his chest, but it wasnt out of fear or anything. he watches the three bubbles pop up, and your response is all he wanted to read.
‘sure, surprise me.’
and he does, taking you to a michelin starred restaurant and making you order the most expensive thing. because he would feel bad if he only order the most expensive things, right?
“do you like it?” he asks, cutting into the steak that he ordered and watching you eat your food.
“yeah, i do. i just sometimes eat slow.” you reply, him nodding and then tapping his foot. “do you mind if i take it home?”
“… why would i be mad if you took food home, stupid?” he asks, like you just asked him if he claps with shitty hands.
“just askin..” you say, watching him wave over the waiter and ask for a box and the check. “we can split the bill if you want.”
he darts his eyes back to you, scrunching his face up and giving you a once over.
“what?”
“split the bill?” he asks, making sure he heard you right. you nod, and he nods with you. “give me yo fuckin’ wallet.”
“because i asked if you want to split the—?”
“did i speak japanese? give me your damn wallet.” he snarks back, snatching your wallet from your fingers and putting his metal card on the check book. “some damn split the bill.”
“well sorry..” you mumble, putting the left over food in the box.
“you can tell me how sorry you are later when we get home.” he suggests, an eyebrow raised at you and a smirk. “you can choose how much to tip.”
“deal.”
both of you could barely get up the stairs, him slamming you against the walls of the corridor that lead to upstairs, but hes already on his knees and shoving your panties to the side, spitting and licking on your pussy.
“wrap this around— yeah, good job.” he praises, holding you up by your legs and thrusting into your soppy walls. “fuck, yer tight tonight.”
your fingers pull at the root of his hair, open mouth moaning against his neck and kissing at it. you feel his groans reverberate in your body. “katsukiiii..” you moan, biting your lip.
“yeah, yeah, yeah, there ya’ goo..” he strews out praises, pressing his head against yours and kissing your neck back. “make me proud, thats it.”
“gunna cum.. gonna cum, kats—“ you say, feeling you clamp and feeling your walls contract against his walls of the house. he grunts, spilling his seed within the condom and growls in your neck.
“hey.. katsuki?” you asked, lying next to him in his bed. he opens his eyes, looking down to you.. “can i ask you something?”
“ask away.” he says, patting your rear and focusing in on you.
“why dont you ever kiss me?” you ask, he furrows his eyebrows, leaning up a bit.
“i do kiss you?” he retorts, something that he doesnt understand. the fuck were you talking about? he kisses you.. he kisses your neck, your head, your fucking pussy for crying out loud.
“yeah, everywhere but my lips.” you reject, sitting up and watching his movements.
he tilts his head for a bit, clicking his tongue. “thats just too intense and intimate for me. and, quite frankly, im not into it.” he admits, then he watches you frown. “what you frowin’ for?”
“we are literally laying in the bed, in nothing but boxers and a shirt and panties.” you remind him of your situation, the fuck did he mean it was ‘too intimate?’ “how can this not be intimate, but a kiss is?”
“this..” he circles to you and himself, “this is just casual fucking.” he tries to remind you, but he starts to grow agitated when you get up and start clothing yourself. “the fuck you doin?”
“this is just casual? but yet you took me on a fucking date.” you say, growing agitated and frustrated yourself.
“that was dinner, not a date.” hes starting to get annoyed, thats why he didnt do this shit often. “i am in no fucking bounds to you, youre not fucking special.” he says, running his fingers through his hair and breathing through his nose.
you stare at him, putting your shoes on and then grabbing your purse. “youre right, im sorry.” you say, grabbing your phone as well and then looking back to katsuki. “ill see you later, ‘kay?”
he stays quiet, getting up to open the door for you and then closing it behind. “for fucking christs sakes..”
he goes back to the king sized bed, closing his eyes and turning the television off. this night already went to shit, and he just wanted to sleep it off.
he wakes up the next day, he’s got another two hours before he goes into patrol. he figured he could just text you to come over, its a new day and apologize, have you stay for a couple hours until he came home and fix something.
“hey, you wanna come over and talk about it?” he typed, sending it to you and waiting for your reply.
twenty minutes had past, its weird. usually youd be up by this hour, but eventually you did respond a thumbs up, and he tided up the living room and waits on you.
“hey.” he gruffly says, letting you in and closing the door behind you. he smells something strong. “did you use incense or some shit?”
“no, its body spray.” you say, plopping on the couch and he smells it again, then it wakes him up even more.
“you wanna try again?” he asks, folding his arms and holding his scowl. “did you just come from someone else’s house?”
you stay quiet, staring at him. the fuck did he want from you?
“you fucked another guy?” he asked again, caging you in and staring into you. “because im not in the fucking mood for these fucking games.”
“am i not allowed to?” you ask, getting to his level as well and then matching his scowl. “im in no fucking bounds to you.”
“so you want to be fucking petty, thats what the fuck this is?”
“to the fuckin’ t.” you respond, grabbing your things and shoving past him. he grabs your arm, pulling you back and staring into your soul.
“who the fuck was it?”
“none of your fucking business, i didnt ask you about the bitches you be fucking that’s not me.” you retort, but it only deepens his scowl, into a face filled with venom.
“i dont be fuckin other bitches.” he growls, then scoffs when you laugh softly. “the fuck is funny?”
“you dont be fuckin other girls?”
“why the fuck would i?” he asks, putting his hands in the air in confusion. “you think i just spread my legs to anyone and everything?”
“wow, i must be so special to know and have that.” you snarkily say, walking to the door.
he groans in agitation and yells. “bitch, fuck you!”
“fuck you, too bitch!” you shout back as he makes his way to you and you slam the door behind you.
the fuck were you both even arguing for?
bakugou wasnt the same after that, he was more stressed at work, feeling the after effects of the argument and not hearing from you in weeks. its shown in the way he fights the villains on the job, a tad bit— no, alot more aggressively than usual.
and he wasn’t going out anymore, just work, gym, then home. he wasnt in the mood, he felt… alone, depressed, like he was missing something.
he had everything that hes had, so what could possibly be fucking missing?
he scrolls on his timeline, seeing that you posted another story at work. he felt his heart pang, a knee bouncing, and like he wanted to reach out.
was he seriously missing you right now?
he sucks his teeth, his head dropping and he’s feeling like such a fucking idiot. he felt it, like he couldnt go a couple of days without you. he needed relief, a certain one.
you both meet up at the bar, the same very place you met and then flirted hard. he watches you sit down, a new dress, huh?
you looked so damn gorgeous, it genuinely pissed him off.
“what do you want?” you ask, telling the bartender for a strawberry mimosa, your usual.
“i..” he tries to say, he hasnt done the whole ‘im sorry’ thing since highschool. “i was wrong.” he admits, staring back at you and watching your face. “was wrong fer callin’ you a bitch, and saying you werent special. and fer gettin’ mad that you slept with someone else.”
“hm.” you hum, tapping your foot and holding your drink. “ill let you in on a secret through the grape vine.” you say, watching him raise a single eyebrow.
“i didnt sleep with some other dude, it was your old cologne.” you say, watching his face contort into confusion. “you showed me an old cologne you used to wear when you were scrolling on tiktok with me. you were half asleep though.”
it all finally clicks when he remembers, and he rubs his face in pure embarrassment and anger. “im going to fucking kill you, bitch.” he says, not truly angry, but embarrassed.
you laugh, and his chest feels less tight. “im sorry for doing that, just tried to show you that what you said wasnt cool.”
“i respect that.” he says, drinking his moonshine.
“thats such a bitch drink..” you watch him swig, and he growls.
“says the one drinking a gotdamn mimosa.” he retorts, and you both finally have a good laugh after about thirteen minutes in.
he feels good, better.
katsuki bakugou wasnt the relationship guy, its too much for him.
but with the way he has you laying ontop of him, a discarded used condom in the trash bin next to his bed. he liked where he was at, the way the sun shined on your face and skin.. he pondered at the earliest hours of the morning. he didnt have to work today, that was good for him since he had you to spend time with. might even a plan a date for you tonight—
a date? the fuck?
he feels himself inclined to you, watching tiktok on the lowest volume so you dont awaken. he keeps seeing these couple tiktoks, watching how they go from tinder, to being married and shit.
could.. could that happen to you? he feels sick, like he was getting clammy and his heart pounded, a imaginative feeling that he finally proposes to you, gives you a couple brats that run around the house he just bought—
…aw fuck no.
“which dress fits me more?” you rummage through the hangers of dresses in the store, he only watches you and picks one out in particular. a split thigh dress with sleeves, since it was about to be fall. “oh, so you want my ass to fall out?”
“your ass aint going to fall out.” he chuckles, pulling it and putting it against you. “youd look good though.”
“would i really?”
he tilts your head up to his, looking into your eyes instead of your soul this time. “always.” he watches you get heated in the face, pulling away out of flustering and scramble to the next aisle.
once you finally start to check out everything, which was just a mere dress that he suggested and some more shirts, you pull your wallet out, just for him to slap it out of your grasps.
“the fuck?!” you say, picking it up and the cashier was already inserting his card.
“told you that when youre with me, i pay.” he reminds, taking the receipt and bag and then holding the door for you.
“did you have to slap my wallet out my hand, though? couldve been robbed!” you say, putting it back in your purse and grumbling.
“anyone trying to rob you infront of me is just stupid.”
“i guess..”
eventually when you got home, katsuki put the goods down onto the couch and then headed to the kitchen, cranking up the flames on his stove. “oh em gee, youre going to cook for me?”
“why did you say it like that, you dumbass?” he turns to you, a confused but laughing face. “yes, im cooking. you need to stop eating out as much.”
“i eat out maybe twice a week.” you say, and he purses his lips. “what? you saying im big?”
“i did not say that.” he growls, tossing the pan and sautéing the veggies. “what?” he asks, seeing your concerned face.
“you have no care for your pans or pots..” you say, watching his shrug and mock you. “on tonight’s episode of hells kitchen..”
“gordon ramsey wouldnt last thirty minutes with me.” he comments, shaking his head and sighing. “im the best cook.”
“no objections.”
and he was, making you a chicken bowl with rice, sautéed vegetables and toasted brioche bread. “thank you, katsu.” you say, the nickname rolling off of your tongue and you didn’t really think of it, but kissing his cheek.
he freezes, staring at you and an eye twitches.
“…what? did i have to brush my teeth after every meal too?”
“katsukii katsuki katsuki!” you moan out, legs pressed to your ears as he pounded away into your cervix. he growls into your ear and pulls you back up, flipping you onto your stomach and wrapping his arm around your throat, holding you in a headlock.
he groans, drilling his cock into your gummy spot that made you see stars like no other. this was more rougher, deeper, and fast paced than any other of your fucks. this one felt.. different.
all because of a fucking kiss on the cheek.
“katsuki!” you squealed strained, eyes rolling back and gritting your teeth trying to endure his cock inside of your fluttering walls.
“fuckin cum, beg me to let you cum.” he growls with venom, and desperation runs him completely now. he hears you, crying out his name and then fucking him back. “fucking god—hah!”
you cream along his shaft, his cock starting to twitch and he drags you up again, putting you back into missionary to slip away into your spasming cunt to just still inside and keep going.
“k-katsuki what are you?—“ he cuts you off by crashing his lips onto yours, a pang into your chest and arms wrap around his neck to pull him closer. he groans in the kiss, stopping his hips.
he pulls away, looking down to you with a narrowed gaze. “what?” you ask, his face getting a little bit softer.
“i dont want to just casually fuck with you anymore.” he says, getting closer to you. “think… think im in love with you.”
“..so.. because i have sex with you, youre in love with me?” you ask, his face dropping and he flicks your head. “ow— fucker!”
“no, stupid..” he says, “i like the moments we dont fuck. like dinner dates and the.. domestic shit i guess.” he says, biting his lip.
“so you admit that they were dates?” you snicker, and he chuckles in defeat.
“whatever you wanna call them, baby.” he says, but puts a hand on your cheek and. “i love you.”
you try to take it serious, but one factor. “can you tell me this without your cock being in me?” you ask, he shakes his head and pulls his hips back, allowing you to sit up.
“love you.” he says, his heart beating out of his ass.. or so it feels like it.
“i love you too, dummy.”
“now you fuckin ruined my moment.”
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