#this is a different level than anything i’ve ever experienced

[seriial]

tw suicidal ideation

i’m not gonna lie, my suicidality is like, intense as shit right. like, i can see a reel or video of a meme about the chattahoochee and start sobbing because i wish i was dead in a river… because i did see that reel and start sobbing… anyways. it keeps happening though. like, i am weirdly emotional? and it’s a bit too much to even classify it as an episode fr, like something else is going on

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[cowboybeepboop]

Could you do something with Scott and Reader where the reader is a virgin. I like how soft you write Scott. Kate and reader are like sisters and one night while everyone is drinking the topic of sex comes up and Kate let's it slip the reader is a virgin (shes super drunk). The reader is so embarrassed she runs out crying so Scott goes after her. He ask why she never told him and she told him she was scared he wouldn't want her anymore since she was experienced to that Scott tells her that's anything from the truth that he loves her and says when she's ready they can take the next step she tells him she is and has been that he is the first guy she has ever loved and felt safe with enough to take that step. Scott also makes a comment that it's hot and it's sexy she's a virgin and a turn on. Feel free to add to the idea or take things away to make it make sense.

Pairing: Scott Miller x fem! Reader

Genre: Smut, fluffy and romantic

Word count: 4.3k

Warnings: Virgin reader, possessive/jealous scott, oral fem receiving, unprotected sex.

a/n: Not gonna lie, I just now realized you said “like” sisters and not just sisters, but I’ve decided to leave it anyway. I hope you enjoy! As always my requests are open <3

You and Scott have been dating for a few months. And he has made *no* effort to make any moves sexually, other than some hand stuff here and there in recent times. On the one hand, this comes as a relief because you’re still a virgin (something he isn't exactly aware of) but at the same time you really wish he would take things to the next level.

As Kate's younger, more outgoing sister, she's always made an effort to keep you away from her friends. Not wanting you to get involved with anyone romantically, unfortunately her plan failed when it came to Scott. She has been a little less than supportive of this relationship since she doesn't want to see him break your heart and doesn't want it to affect her friend group.

While you understand Kate’s wariness, you feel exhausted with her obsessive worry. It first started when she introduced you to Javi, perhaps because you immediately started to crush on him.

Either way, you’ve completely involved yourself in her friend group, regardless of her disdain for it. The two of you have a rocky sibling relationship at times, but it usually doesn't come up/out in front of your friends.

Today, however, things have been different. You're all hanging out at Tylers place, playing games and drinking. The tension between you and Kate has been building after an argument you had earlier regarding your relationship with Scott.

Kate has been frustrated with you for dating him, even though she had told you not to get romantically involved with any of her friends. You get why but at the same time it's not like you can control who you fall for, right?

“Hey, Y/N?” Scott presses his hand to your shoulder, “Is everything okay?” he shakes you out of your thoughts.

“Hm?” you turn to look up at him with a dazed smile. “Oh, yeah everythings fine, I was just lost in thought.” Scott is slightly amused at how distracted you are, he finds your spacey nature endearing. He takes a seat next to you, a smirk on his lips.

He can tell that something is bothering you, he raises an eyebrow, a little doubtful of your half-truth. His thumb gently strokes the skin of your upper arm idly. “What’re you thinkin’ about, ‘sweetheart’?”

“Nothing important,” your smile grows as you lean into Scotts warm body, “I’ll tell you later.” He chuckles as you practically curl up on him, he finds it adorable how clingy you get. He drapes an arm over your shoulder, pulling you in closer as he gives you a smirk, he can tell that something's off.

He doesn’t say anything at first, just lets his hand wander to your waist. “Is that right? It doesn’t have anything to do with that little argument you got into with Kate…?” you groan.

“You know me too well.” you sigh, hand falling to his thigh, fingers rubbing soft patterns into his leg.

His eyes follow your fingers and he lets out a soft sigh, his mind drifting to other places. He gives you a slight nudge. “Cmon, talk. What was the argument about?” you shake your head in protest.

“I don’t wanna talk about it right now,” you pout your lips at him, chin resting on his chest. His eyes lock in on your lips, he gently cups your chin, his thumb softly stroking your lower lip.

Kate can't help but hear the conversation from a separate table where she's sitting and talking with Tyler. Her eyes drift over to you and Scott, watching the two of you sitting pretty close together. She gets annoyed, watching the way you're clinging to Scott and leaning into him.

She frowns, turning to Tyler who's watching her and you with a raised eyebrow. "You know, it might do you some good to just chill out. Let her have a little freedom." You glance over at Kate and Tyler, seeing her stern stare causes you to straighten in your seat, pulling away from Scott ever so slightly.

Boone’s loud voice breaks up all the side conversations, “We should all play truth or dare.” he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

Kate lets out a groan, "We're not teenagers." Scott frowns and gives your waist a gentle squeeze. He can tell that you’re pulling away from him because of Kate. He really doesn’t like her meddling in your relationship, when it so obviously isn't her concern.

Boone smiles, "Just cause we're not teens doesn't mean we can't have *fun*."

Kate rolls her eyes, despite her reservations she does think it could be a fun game. She's already a little bit drunk from the couple of beers she's had yet she continues sipping on one.

“It really could be fun,” you grin at Boone, encouraging his proposition.

"See, someone gets me." he smiles back at you.

Tyler is also on board for the game, he grabs another drink. "Alright, I'm game. Should we do dares or no dares?"

Kate thinks for a second, she isn't in the mood to do some stupid dare. "No dares, just truths." you roll your eyes at her boring suggestion, everyone knows the dares are the best part of the game.

As the game draws on the conversation drifts to everyone's worst experiences and first times. Kate can see how quiet and anxious you're getting as everyone starts to share their experiences. She's also dreading someone will ask her to spill some of her secrets. You're starting to get restless in your seat, heart pounding fast as you pray no one asks you anything about sex.

Boone seems to be a little annoyed at how no one has been asked anything difficult yet and turns to Kate. "Alright, Kate. Your turn, when did you lose your virginity?" As Boone asks his question Kate can see your eyes on her.

She finishes off the last of her beer and is starting to feel more than just tipsy and a little bit out of it. She's trying to avoid spilling any of her own secrets and takes her time before answering. Javi, noticing her discomfort, turns to ask you a question.

"Hey, Y/N. What about you? When did yo-" Javi is cut off as Kate abruptly interrupts him, a little tipsy.

"She's a *virgin*." Your cheeks turn a dark red as the words leave her mouth. You can feel all the eyes on you, most importantly, Scotts eyes on you.

Scott can’t help the way his eyes widen as Katie blurts out that you’re a virgin. *Of course* he had his suspicions, but they were just suspicions, it’s why he's so cautious about taking things further. But now, now he knows it’s true.

Scott can feel your body tense and his hand on your waist clenches involuntarily. The words ring through his mind as he processes it. “You’re… a virgin…?”

You abruptly stand off the couch, Scotts hand falling from your body as you glare over at your sister. “What the fuck Kate?” tears begin to pool in your eyes as you glare at her before quickly leaving the house.

The rest of the group stays quiet after your exit, not quite sure what just happened. Scott jumps to his feet and dashes out the door after you. He knows he has to do damage control fast, he has to make sure you don’t take this to heart.

He steps outside, the cool air making the blood rush to his cheeks as he spots you near the edge of the porch. “Hey, Sweetheart?”

You don't respond, instead you bury your face into your hands, body trembling as you silently sob. “Hey, hey… ” Scott reaches you quickly and pulls you into his arms. He can feel your shaking, he can see the way your shoulders are shuddering and it makes his heart ache.

He pulls you onto his lap as he takes a seat on the steps of the porch, his hands are gently rubbing your back, trying to soothe you as he pulls you in tighter. “Don’t cry… sweetheart, don’t cry…”

You hide your face in his chest, “I’m sorry,” you murmur, voice muffled by his shirt.

“Hey, don’t apologize. There’s nothing to apologize for.” Scott gently takes your chin with his hand and lifts you up to look at him. He can see the trail of tears running down your cheeks. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

You avert your gaze, eyes lowering. “I…” your words get stuck in your throat as more tears spill from your eyes.

“Hey, look at me,” he grips your chin a little tighter, forcing you to look at him, “Why didn’t you tell me?” He asks again, more sternly this time. He’s not angry with you, he’s just confused, a hundred thoughts all running through his head.

“I just, *really* liked you,” you begin, eyes searching his, “and I thought that you wouldn't want me if you knew I was..” your voice breaks as you speak.

Scott gently strokes your cheek with his thumb, wiping away the tears, “Sweetheart, look at me, I’m going to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me, alright?”

“Okay..” you bite down on your lips, worried about what he’s going to ask. “What is it?” you hiccup, cheeks still flushed with your embarrassment.

Scott takes a moment to collect his thoughts, he chooses his words carefully. “Are you… saving yourself…?” He’s pretty sure you’ll catch his drift.

“I, no,” you start, trying to find the words to explain, “I’ve just never. You know, felt like it was the right time..” you trail off.

Scott nods slowly, his eyes scanning your face as his thumb moves to the corner of your lip. His mind is still processing all of this information, and now he just has even more questions. “Have you ever even kissed someone before me?”

“A few times,” you murmur, hands moving to his sides.

Scott furrows his eyebrows, his head tilted curiously as he looks at you. “How far have you gone with other guys?”

You groan, pressing your head to his shoulder, embarrassed with the question. “I’ve uhm, you know..” you trail your fingers up and down his back, “I’ve done hand stuff and other things.” you whisper.

“Things like…?” Scott can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy as you start to tell him about your past.

“Scott,” you breathe out his name with a soft whine.

Scott’s hand on your back clenches involuntarily at the way you whine his name. He can sense your hesitation. “C’mon sweetheart, tell me more.”

“Well, I’m not entirely inexperienced.” you sigh, “Like I’ve done oral too.. Just never actual sex..”

Scott’s heart clenches as you confess this information. His mind starts to wander to thoughts of you with other guys. “How many guys have you done these things with?”

“A few..” you keep your answer vague, unwilling to let him know all the details.

Scott can clearly tell you’re uncomfortable discussing these topics with him, and the thought of you with other guys has him almost upset. He clears his throat, trying to get the image of you in some other guy's arms out of his head.

“Okay, enough questions, let's get out of here.” He slowly stands up, “I’m taking you home.” you nod and follow him to his car, settling into the passenger seat as he starts the engine.

Scott starts the drive back to your house, the ride is mostly silent as he’s still thinking everything over. He tries to steal a glance at you a few times, still processing everything that just happened.

After a few minutes, Scott breaks the silence. “Sweetheart, can I ask you something?”

“Mhm,” you turn to face him, “Ask away.”

Scott’s quiet for a moment, his eyes focused on the road. “You’ve never… wanted to…?” Scott trails off as he struggles to phrase the question.

Your hand finds its way to his lap, “Do you mean in general?” your gaze going out the window, “Or with you?”

“With me…” Scott feels your hand on his lap and it makes his heart skip a beat for a moment. He glances over at you, a hint of vulnerability in his eyes.

He pulls into your driveway, the tension in the cab growing with every second you stay quiet “Scott..”

Scott slowly parks the car and turns to you. His eyes lock on yours, his heart beating fast as he waits for the answer to his question. “Yeah, sweetheart?”

Your fingers trace circles into his thigh, hand growing closer to his crotch. “I’ve only ever thought about going all the way with you..” you whisper the last part, cheeks turning pink with the confession.

Scott's breath catches in his chest as your fingers trace closer and closer, his mind races with the information you've just given him. The words you whisper send a shiver down his spine, and he can't help but watch your hand. "You... you thought about it?"

“I’ve thought about it,” you confirm, “You're the first guy I’ve ever loved..” you gulp, this is the first time you’ve uttered the word to him.

Scott's mind reels as he processes your words. This is the first time you’ve confessed your feelings to him. He swallows the lump forming in his throat, his heart beating faster with every passing second as a warm feeling settles in his chest.

He reaches down and gently grabs your hand, stilling it from its wandering. His voice is low and gravelly as he speaks, “Say it again.”

“Scott, I love you.” His breath hitches and he closes his eyes for a moment, soaking in the sound of your voice. He opens his eyes and looks over at you, gaze filled with warmth and affection.

“I love you too, sweetheart.” he softly tugs you closer to him, his hand gently cupping your chin and guiding your lips to his. The kiss quickly turns heated as you move to straddle his lap, hands tangling in his hair.

Scott moans into your mouth, his arms wrapping around your waist as you straddle his lap. His hands glide up and under your shirt, feeling the skin between your hips and your ribs. He feels the heat coursing through his veins as you tangle your hands in his hair, tugging just slightly and he bites your bottom lip in response, a stifled gasp escaping his lips.

Your lips move to his neck, pressing hot kisses into his skin as his fingers send shivers down your spine. Scott groans as you move to his neck, his head tilting back giving you more access as your hot lips work over the skin.

His fingers trail up to the base of your spine, lightly tracing up and down in slow motions, feeling the bumps of your spine under his fingertips. His breaths come out raspy and uneven, his breathing quickening as you kiss along his collarbone.

“Scott, should we go inside?” you murmur between kisses, feeling his hand slip into your shorts.

Scott’s mind is so clouded with desire that he has to take a moment to register your words. He can feel your lips moving against his skin and his breath hitches as your words finally register in his mind. “Yeah, yeah… let’s go inside…”

He gently sets you back in your seat and hops out of the car, almost tripping on his feet in his haste to get to your side of the car and open the door for you. You smile at him as you get out, taking his hand as you lead him to your door and unlock it.

Scott follows you inside your house, his heart still racing and body buzzing with heat. He closes the door behind him as soon as you step inside.

Scott steps up behind you, hands finding their way to your sides as he nuzzles his face into your neck, his hot breath on your skin. You press back into him, guiding his hands down your sides, silently asking him to take things further.

Scott’s breath hitches as you press into him, his hands skimming over your hips and down to your thighs. He leaves a trail of hot kisses along the side of your neck, his teeth gently grazing against your skin.

He spins you around, pushing your back against the door as he moves to press his body flush against you, his hands moving to grip your hips. “You’re driving me crazy, sweetheart…” he whispers into your ear.

“Scott, please.” you moan out, hands going to unbutton his jeans, “I need you,”

Scott stumbles back as you start to unbutton his jeans, his hands roaming over your body, desperate to feel you. The thought of you *needing* him sends a shot of heat straight to his core and he groans, pushing you towards your room.

His hands move desperately over your body as you walk, discarding clothes in a messy trail behind you. Sitting down on the edge of your bed, you unclasp your bra, making you entirely nude in front of him. You look up at him, eyes full of lust and desire.

Scott is completely captivated as you sit down and finally reveal yourself to him. His eyes trail up and down your body, taking in every inch of your skin. He can feel his heart beating faster in his chest, his breath quickening as his eyes roam over your body.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he mutters, his voice husky with desire. He takes a step towards you, his hands reaching out to touch you, to feel your soft skin.

A low growl escapes his lips as he moves to kneel between your legs, his hands roaming over your body, tracing every contour. You spread your legs wider for him, welcoming his movements as you moan at his needy hands.

Scott settles between your legs, his hands roaming up your thighs, feeling the skin as he looks up at you. His eyes are almost black with desire as he looks up at you from his position between your legs. He swallows, his throat dry as he takes in the sight of you, spread out on the bed before him.

His hands move up to your hips, gripping them and pulling you closer to him, his thumbs tracing small circles into your skin. “You’re so perfect, sweetheart.” he says, his voice low and rough.

Your fingers tangle in his hair as you move your hips closer to him, “Please, I need you..” you bite on your lip.

With trembling hands, he gently pushed your legs apart, his gaze never leaving yours. The sight of you, laying bare before him, sent a rush of heat to his cheeks and a thrill through his body. He leaned in, his breath hot against your inner thighs as he whispered, "I've been waiting for this."

His voice was a mix of excitement and nerves, a testament to the importance of this moment. The soft caress of his tongue on your skin was like an electric shock, sending waves of pleasure through your body.

He took his time, savoring every inch of you with the finesse of a man who'd been waiting for this moment for a lifetime. His kisses grew more urgent as he found your sweet spot, making you gasp and arch your back. You could feel his passion, his need to make this first time perfect for you.

As he tasted you, Scott felt as if he'd found home. Each moan and whimper from your lips was like a symphony to his ears, guiding him in his exploration. His hands held you firmly, supporting your hips as he devoured you, eager to give you the pleasure that had been building between you both for so long.

Your legs wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer as the intensity grew, your body begging for more. He could feel you getting closer, the tension in your muscles tightening as you approached the edge.

His mouth worked faster, his tongue flicking and sucking with purpose. You were so wet, so ready for him, and the thought of finally being inside you was almost too much to bear. But he didn't rush, not wanting to miss a single second of this intimate dance.

And then, with a sharp cry, you fell over the edge, your body convulsing as wave after wave of pleasure washed over you. Scott held you firmly, his mouth never leaving your sex, as he drew out every last tremor of your orgasm.

You collapsed against the bed, limp and trembling, your nails digging into his scalp as you tried to process the intensity of what had just happened.

He kissed his way up your body, his hands gliding over your skin as he moved over you, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.

His eyes searched yours for permission, and finding it, he settled between your legs once more, his erection pressing against your entrance. You were so sensitive now, so open to him. "Are you sure about this Y/N?" His voice is husky and full of caution.

"Fuck, yes, please." You moan, begging for more. He pushed in gently, feeling the resistance of your body as it clung to its innocence. You gasped, your eyes widening with a mix of pain and pleasure.

Scott paused, waiting for you to adjust, to tell him if you needed him to stop. But you just nodded, urging him on with a whisper, "More." So he did, inch by inch, filling you up until he was fully sheathed within you. The connection was overwhelming, a bond stronger than any he'd ever felt.

He started to move, his hips rocking slowly, giving you time to get used to the feeling of him inside you. You moaned, your hands gripping the bed sheets as he picked up the pace. Each stroke sent a jolt of electricity through you, making your toes curl and your back arch. He watched your face intently, reading every expression, making sure he was giving you what you needed.

Scott leaned down to kiss you, his mouth hungry and desperate as he claimed yours. The room was filled with the sound of your ragged breaths and the wet slap of skin on skin.

He could feel your muscles tightening around him, your body preparing for another release. He whispered sweet nothings into your ear, telling you how much he loved you, how perfect you were, how much he needed this.

You moaned against his mouth, your nails digging into his back as the pleasure grew. "Scott," you breathed, "You're so hot." The words slipped out without thought, but the truth was undeniable.

His body was a work of art, and having him take your virginity was the most erotic experience you could imagine. He pulled back to look at you, his eyes dark and intense.

"You have no idea how much I love you," he whispered, his voice filled with passion. "It’s such a turn on for me to be the one claiming you like this." He thrust deeper, making you gasp. "Only me, sweetheart."

You could feel the heat building between you, your body tightening around him as he hit that perfect spot over and over again. His words sent shivers down your spine, the realization that he truly cared for you and was just as invested in this moment as you were.

It was more than just sex; it was a declaration of love, a promise of forever. Scott's pace grew faster, his breaths coming in ragged gasps as he felt his own climax approaching. "You're mine," he growled, his teeth sinking into your neck as he claimed you. "All mine."

You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer as you felt yourself teetering on the brink. "I love you," you whispered, your voice breaking with emotion.

With a final, powerful thrust, Scott released inside you, his body shaking with the force of his orgasm. You followed quickly, your own pleasure crashing over you like a wave, leaving you trembling and gasping for air.

He collapsed on top of you, his weight comforting and reassuring as your hearts hammered together. The room was quiet except for your heavy breaths and the sound of your hearts beating as one. He kissed your neck, his hands never leaving your body as you both came down from the intense high.

You nodded, unable to form words as the gravity of the moment settled over you. You'd given him something precious, something no one else would ever have. And in return, he'd given you an experience that would be burned into your memory forever.

As you lay there, sweat-soaked and utterly spent, you couldn't help but feel a sense of peace. Despite Kate's earlier betrayal, you knew that this was where you were meant to be, in Scott's arms, sharing something beautiful and life-changing.

Scott pulled out slowly, his eyes never leaving yours as he looked at you with a mix of love and awe. He leaned over to kiss you softly, his hand cupping your cheek.

You gave him a small smile, your eyes shining with unshed tears of pleasure. "Thank you," you murmur, "For making it so perfect."

He kissed you again, a gentle brush of his lips against yours. "It's only the beginning, sweetheart." He stood up, pulling you with him to tuck you into bed, your bodies still entwined.

You snuggled closer, feeling safe and loved. For the first time in a long time, you felt like everything was going to be okay. Kate's cruelty was forgotten in the face of Scott's gentle touch and the warmth of his love. Tonight, you had found your place in the world, and it was in his arms.

[the-moon-ate-my-stardust]

Okay literally no one asked but as a former Hobbit movie hater who has since experienced character growth, I feel compelled to share my thoughts on the movies on my gay little blog.

Listen. There are legit reasons to be critical of these movies. They were made on a rushed timeline, at time where CGI overuse was the thing and there are definitely unnecessary moments. But despite those issues, these movies still have a lot of heart and character and some really wonderful acting! To compare them to LOTR, is unfair I think because LOTR was such an unimaginable success and I truly believe no other movie franchise can do what those movies did. To expect the Hobbit movies to be the same caliber considering the behind the scenes drama and massive difference in timeline is just not it.

Truly I think that the Hobbit could have been much more than it was and it’s sad to see the amazing moments and realize that we could have had movies that were maybe closer to the level of LOTR, but that doesn’t take away from all of the great things that the movies gave us! Despite what he may be like irl, Martin Freeman was a great young Bilbo, Richard Armitage was insanely good as Thorin (despite the change in age) and the other dwarf actors brought a great sense of loyalty, brotherhood and shared loss to their roles. The music is still dope as hell and there are some beautiful shots despite all the CGI.

This is way too long and I’ve not said anything that hasn’t been said before but honestly, I’m so glad that I stopped hating on these movies and have seen the special things about them. Nothing will ever compare to LOTR, but that doesn’t make these movies bad. They’re fun, they’re emotional, they have great characterization and it’s super valid to enjoy them.

Final gay thoughts because I’m obligated, but I struggle with people who argue against Bagginshield with the whole “why does everyone have to make everything gay?” thing. Because Hollywood is so deeply homophobic that we see so little genuine queer representation, so forgive us for enjoying the chemistry we find and making it our own since our society gives us breadcrumbs. If you’re not into Bagginshield, totally legit and fine, but don’t hate on other people (especially queer people) trying to find some romantic love in media that we enjoy. Also no one can convince me that Richard Armitage wasn’t at least somewhat intentionally putting his queer energy into this role, I will die on this hill.

Anyway, TL;DR there’s no shame in liking or loving the Hobbit movies despite their faults and there are lots of things to appreciate and enjoy and I for one, am glad to leave my LOTR purist hater days behind me

[blkgirl-writing]

hey i’m a bit embarrassed because this is the first i’ve ever asked for something like this, but in terms of bg3 fic i think dwarven tavs are super under represented lmao i’d love to see something written for an afab dwarven tav, a lady who is short and stocky and strong!!!! i’m a gale enthusiast but honestly any ideas you may have of like, how the different companions accommodate the difference in body type would be cool :)

you’re work is phenomenal btw!!

Do NOT be embarrassed, anon! This is a beautiful ask and i'm more than happy to make these. I'm sorry they're shorter, I'm more than happy to expand later I'm just out of brain power and have 200+ requests atm!

Fem!Dwarven reader x Baldurs Gate 3 Companions

Astarion

Astarion fucks and he knows how to handle anyone of any shape, size, race, and much more

so he's not phased and treats you no differently, really. And in a way it's nice to not get any special special treatment, though how experienced he is, everything seems like special treatment

I also think dwarves value strength over looks and because of that Astarion wouldn't feel the pressure to seduce as much as normal

Shadowheart

I think shadowheart has a little bit of a bias sometimes, like something or someone she sees as weak may not get her full attention, so some may think she'd e a bit...racist, but NO, she knows how hard dwarves work and how fierce they are in battle and immediately knows she's in safe hands

She may ask a few questions about your history on the battlefield if you have any, power is definitely a huge turn on for her so

to kiss she would get down on your level by kneeling down

Gale

Gale just wants love and sex tbh he'd be unphased and probably into dwarves

I mean he is a wizard who fucks and reads books on fucking in his spare time, are those books really only going to be focused on humans and stuff? nah those books go deep into anatomy on all races

We but he's also just a sweetie and would love to be the big spoon and have room to share his bedroll with you, etc

Wyll

Being the prince charming he is, you're his pretty little princess and will pamper you as much as possible

he doesn't see you as anything but the strongest woman in the world that he also wants to make everything easier for

my mans will go out of the way to be your biggest advocate

he will NOT take slander or racism towards you as a dwarf, even though you could handle it yourself, he just wants you to feel protected, even if really, you protect him more than anything

Karlach

I'll be real karlach will toss you a lot

one time she literally just carried you on her right shoulder for like three hours because your feet got sore, it was wild, you kinda just stayed there because how long could she actually carry you? the answer was forever, but you got sore from sitting for too long so you asked her to put you down

she was kinda disappointed

"awe, we were having so much fun you and i!"

I feel like she'd also pick you up and twirl you around when she's super super happy

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Tag list, tell me if you want to be added!

@shyminnie07 @makers-breath @claryvoyantfray @black-sapphic

[princessasmosprincess]

I saw your asks were open and I ran right here! Could you write something about Asmodeus finding out that adult!mc is inexperienced in love and still hasn’t had their first kiss yet?

I’m not very experienced in the romance department myself, so this is something I’ve thought about quite a bit since Asmo is my fav. It would be so intimidating to be with Asmo, just because he is so experienced and he’s probably done EVERYTHING. At the same time it might be nice to let him take the lead? I think he'd be very gentle and reassuring as your “first,” whether that means kisses or something more intimate. I also don’t think he’d be judgmental, he’s been with all different types of people so nothing would surprise him.

I don't know what spirit possessed me, Anon, but I saw your ask and the words just kept coming. I do hope you like it ^ ♡ ^

***

Taboo

Genre: A little fluff, a little angst.

Warnings: Nonsexual nudity, not really suggestive but it does dance around the topic of sex, MC is a virgin and has never been kissed and feels embarrassed about it.

***

“...And can you believe, no one had ever told Marchosias that he was a bad kisser! Now, I don't mind if it’s a little rough but I’d prefer any hickies to be lower than jaw level, do you know how hard it is to cover them up even with magic? I swear, it was like making out with a suckerfish.”

Asmo slipped off his robe before folding it and setting it at the edge of the tub, smiling when you laughed at his description of the kiss. He did love an audience, and you hadn't heard most of his stories yet.

You were already in the tub, basking in the warmth and the light floral scent that wafted up with the steam.

Every once in a while Asmo would invite you for an evening bath to relax and gossip. Before you knew him well, you’d been wary of his intentions, but eventually you figured out his motives were relatively pure. He never once crossed your boundaries or made you feel uncomfortable. By now, you barely even acknowledged each other's nudity.

Asmo stepped into the tub, sinking into the cloud-like froth of bubbles, “I know he’s got that whole innocent 'I only give true answers to all questions’ thing going, so you don't want to hurt his feelings, but someone had to tell him.”

“Poor guy.” You laughed.

Asmo was usually the one who did most of the talking, but you didn't mind as long as you were able to get in a word from time to time. He always had a lot to say, so unless something particularly interesting happened to you at RAD, you’d let him go on for as long as he wanted.

“Oh, don't worry, I was gentle with him. I even gave him a private lesson, if you know what I mean.” He smirked, “But we never really talked again after that.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah… I'm pretty sure he was just trying to use me to get to the Celestial Realm anyway, as if I wasn't disgraced and cast down. Like, Solomon probably has more sway with my Father than I do at this point.” Asmo sighed and stretched, leaning back against the tub. “But that's enough about me and all of that… What about you?”

“Me?”

“Yeah,” Asmo's amber eyes brightened, “I wanna hear about your romantic escapades, so spill.”

You hadn’t quite gotten to revealing many of the intimate details of your past to him or any of the brothers.

Your cheeks warmed, “I don't think any of my stories will be as interesting as yours.”

Asmo laughed, “Well of course not, dear, but that doesn't mean I don't want to hear about them.”

“I don't know, Asmo, I don’t really-”

“I won’t ask you to share anything too personal, if that's what you’re worried about,” He lifted a handful of bubbles to his face and blew them in your direction, “Ooh, what about your first kiss, you could at least tell me about that!”

You broke eye contact with him, chewing your bottom lip as you tried to come up with the right words to say, and when they did, they caught in your throat, “I- I can’t.”

A sly grin stole across his lips, “Darling, don’t be silly. Is it that embarrassing of a story? You can tell me, I promise I won’t share it with a soul.”

“That’s not it, Asmo.”

“Hmm?” He raised an eyebrow. “I don’t understand.”

Your voice came out barely above a whisper, “I haven't had my first kiss yet.”

Asmo blinked a few times, the air felt heavy around you, though he didn't seem to notice. He was more surprised than anything.

You’d never had your first kiss?

“Does that mean you're also a-”

You turned your head, willing away the tears pricking at your eyes. It was stupid, you knew. There were lots of people like you. But you felt so ashamed. So unloved.

You knew the question was bound to come up sooner or later, but you still felt unprepared.

“Oh.” Asmo’s gaze softened, not that you could see it. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed-”

This was you, after all, adored by the future Demon King and the Avatars of Sin alike. He didn't think it was possible you could have lived for this long without so much as a kiss.

“It’s ok, Asmo, you didn't know.” You sighed, tilting your head back against the edge of the tub and closing your eyes. You needed a moment.

Asmo sank lower in the water, so his head sat just above the bubbles, his eyes never leaving you.

Asmo’s whole world for the longest time had revolved around himself and sex and carnal desire. That was just what it meant to be the Avatar of Lust. But in the grand scheme of things, experience in those areas didn't matter much at all. Passion was more important, whether it lasted a moment or centuries.

His heart ached for you. From your reaction, this was clearly beyond you simply not having an interest in intimacy. Asmo didn't understand how the opportunity hadn't come about for you. It infuriated him that other humans hadn't seen what he saw in you. How could anyone not love you?

Asmo hardly remembered his first, a face faded from millennia past, a kiss that hadn't made much of an impression after millions more, new and exciting feelings that had overwhelmed his senses at one point but would feel so tame to him now. But he did know that doing something new was always scary at first.

He could offer to help you take that step. To be your first. Of anyone in the entire universe, wouldn't the Avatar of Lust be the best possible first kiss? Wouldn't your first time with an expert make future opportunities feel less intimidating?

And if he was your first kiss, maybe he could be your first in other ways…

His gaze flickered to your lips.

But it didn't seem like the right time. Asmo had made a mess of things as it was. He knew he shouldn't have pressed you, but he had been too curious. Your feelings were already hurt.

He would talk to you about it some other time. Asmo didn't want you to think he pitied you and he didn't want to pressure you either. There was nothing shameful about your situation, whether you felt that way or not. It would do you no good to rush things when you were feeling so vulnerable.

No, he would wait for the right moment, and if you chose someone else as your first he would gracefully accept your decision.

Until then, he would show you how precious you truly were.

***

Cross-posted on AO3

[coralinnii]

“It really was just a song”  feat: Malleus, Azul, Sebek genre: fluff, humor note: sequel to "singing a break-up song while dating" no pronouns or gender mentioned

He’s feeling a mix of emotions right now. On one hand, he’s relieved that you weren’t upset with him nor did you feel lonely during his absence. On the other hand, he’s astonished how he foolishly led himself to believe in such a misunderstanding (Lilia didn’t help with that either). 

If it were Malleus in his prior years before enrolling in NRC, he would never let himself fret over such a ridiculous misjudgment on his part. He’s too level-headed and above all this emotional mishaps that he has seen humans commit countless of times. He is a logical man. 

Or at least he was, before he met you. 

He found himself plagued with thoughts of you, wondering what you were doing when he’s not around or if you were thinking of him as much as he does with you? His defenses are down, he’s vulnerable to thoughts that fill him with anxiety he has never known. 

You made him more human. Now, prepare to face the consequences of such an incredible feat. 

“I’ve never experienced fear quite like this, and I would rather not be forced to contend with such emotions again. If I’m called to Briar Valley once more, would you be interested in joining me?” 

His face is red for many reasons. He’s beating himself for allowing the mindless babbles of others lead him to such a pointless worry. He should have known. What would a bunch of random plebs understand about his relationship with you? 

He’s also just super embarrassed at his actions. Even though you assured him of your feelings for him, to know how truly misled he was by the rumours left him a little humiliated. 

He does take this as a lesson to communicate with you more instead of bottling his worries up or acting on his own without taking your thoughts in consideration. He’s new to this so he’s learning. 

“I will never let the words of others sway me so easily ever again!…If Lord Malleus were to tell me something? W-Well, that’s different!” 

Not only will he turn red, this man might just spill his ink. But he won’t, he already has enough embarrassment to last him the whole semester. 

He will vehemently refuse to acknowledge that this misunderstanding ever happened. If you bring it up, he’s gonna act like he has no idea what you’re talking about, because such an event never existed. 

Secretly, he is thankful that this mishap (if it ever happened) brought the two of you closer as now he got to share and make more time together. Even the most mundane of chores or the most frustrating of concerns seem less so when you’re standing next to him. He’s truly happy for your company. 

A downside Azul realised from all of this however, is that he wants nothing more than to dock the mischievous eels' paychecks for their vague words that caused all of this confusion to happen (but it didn’t, Azul insisted). But to do so, he will have to accept the embarrassing events. What a conundrum.

“I was not worried, as you say. I simply felt like spending more time with you as any loving boyfriend would want to. I did not fall for anything! Do not listen to those cursed twins!” 

[eddiediazismyhusband]

the weponizing of gayness is getting out of hand. you're called a homophobe if you don't ship two people. you're called a homophobe if you don't like a gay character because of their racist and misogynistic past. i genuinely don't believe that a lot of these people have ever been exposed to real bigotry in their entire lives, or they're just straight

Like i’ve said most of the people I’ve seen making these takes are either straight white cis women or white cis gay men who both have an insane amount of privilege in the community to the point that the plights of others aren’t on their radar….

like im not saying they haven’t experienced any kind of discrimination, i am sure they have, but being cisgender white people, there is a level of privilege there that refracts their view of what bigotry actually looks like to a certain degree that they view anything critical of their interests as being violently homophobic.

i myself am a white gay amab person (i’m nonbinary, but I am passing for male) so I definitely have a certain level of privilege that has protected me from being directly discriminated against in ways I’ve seen my non-white queer friends be treated. that being said (and i am by no means perfect) i do my best to check my privilege before blowing something out of proportion just because it inconveniences or annoys me.

i’ve mentioned on here briefly before that i have faced a lot of discrimination from others growing up in church. my mother sent me to a doctor asking him to try and “fix” me when she found out i was gay. i have been called slurs by people who claim to be “god-loving christians” for just existing within that space. i have been harassed and berated by family members over my queerness because they think the jokes don’t sting (and they don’t care if they do). I’m not saying this to ask for sympathy and pity; I have worked through this in therapy, and I have moved on and attempt to rebuild relationships and salvage what I can. But I say this to provide context of my own experiences as s queer person.

A lot of white queer people have experienced this, but a lot haven’t. A lot of them have grown up in far more accepting environments and only know of bigotry towards queer people from reading/seeing it in media. They see these events and in their inability to understand them within the context of their own experience, they equate their own everyday inconveniences to these things because as humans we often have a desire to be coddled and pitied, so when we aren’t the center of attention for pity, we try to force ourselves into it by blowing things out of proportion, or claiming bigotry and homophobia when that is not the case. The “give me sympathy” card is a staple in the white queer person’s wallet.

Unfortunately, for poc queer people, and non-cisgender people who aren’t ‘passing’ they experience a different level of discrimination and violent bigotry that a lot of white queer people have never experienced. Now that is not to say that white cis queer people have never been the victims of violence, they absolutely have and there are plenty of cases out there to prove it. The fact is that for poc queer people, violent bigotry is often the standard for discrimination they experience. And that is something that unless you have experienced it yourself, you will never really understand the affects that has on a person.

so this idea that disliking a queer character is somehow homophobic comes from a place of blatant privilege. it comes from people who want you to look at them and say “ohhh poor ____, they’re being discriminated against because this fictional character is being criticized for his own bigotry within canon” rather than acknowledging that queer people are not inexcusable of bad behavior. they don’t understand that calling other queer people homophobic for having valid criticisms of a character and the way their story has been handled only shows queer people as this melodramatic clump of people who cry wolf over things that are not im fact actually conducive of homophobia.

I’m sorry I kind of turned this into a discussion of the hierarchy of queer privilege and how it negatively affects the entire community when the privileged minority are loudly complaining about things they don’t like by throwing around the word “homophobic” but unfortunately that seems to be where we are at in this fandom. I didn’t touch much on the straight white cis women of it all, but unfortunately straight white cis women are always trying to steamroll queer people when it comes to discussing queer issues so this is just par for the course.

[guzhufuren]

Favourite VegasPete Fics pt.2 (pt.1) (in alphabetical order)

1. Black Velvet by @kerrikins https://archiveofourown.org/series/3158706

Vegas notices Pete watching him during the torture scene. Intrigued and more tempted than he expected to be, he stalks Pete and succeeds in taunting him into coming with Vegas so they can fuck.

It starts off as a cat and mouse game for sex, but when the two of them are finally forced to reckon with the fact that they're on opposite sides, they both find themselves more conflicted and drawn to each other than ever.

2. cause and effect by @sapphicblight https://archiveofourown.org/series/3234285

“Don’t you have better things to do with your time? Other virgins for example,” Pete asks him one time over a guerrilla warfare style lunch date. “Not until next semester,” Vegas laments. “I’ve already exhausted our current student body.” Pete doesn’t even know where to begin unpacking everything wrong with that statement.

Or: the college au in which Vegas is a manwhore with a weird innocence kink and Pete is an inexperienced painslut.

3. Drowning, and other Metaphors https://archiveofourown.org/works/44171761

Vegas has never experienced an afterglow that burns like an oil fire, a sudden and dangerous thing that he can’t quite remember how best to put out past the panic. It doesn’t help that Pete’s smile is like a torrent of cool water on his feverish skin, making the flames jump higher. It makes Vegas want to do something dangerous that he’s never really been good at before – it makes him want to take care of Pete. Problem is, he doesn’t really know how.

4. Holy Palmer's Kiss https://archiveofourown.org/works/41273907

"By the way," says Vegas in English. "Interesting scars you’ve got on your chest." Pete doesn’t tense – he doesn’t – but the leveled manner his gaze slides back up must be enough of a tell because Vegas… "What ? Don’t tell me you thought it wouldn’t come up."

The begining of episode 11 but Vegas zeroes in on Pete's top surgery scars instead of his hip tattoo.

5. i want to wear his initial on a chain round my neck by @dage-mingjue & @stratumgermanitivum https://archiveofourown.org/series/3352987

Pete picks up the chain leash and offers it to Vegas. “So, you never did tell me what you were getting this for.” Vegas takes the chain from Pete’s hands and fixes a dark and sultry look on him. “This? Oh, it’s for bad boys who misbehave.” And with that he gives one last smirk before walking out the front door, leaving Pete an absolute mess behind the counter. *** “Pete,” Porsche says, in a very slow voice, like Pete is a particularly small child. “He was hitting on you.” Pete blinks. “He what now?” — Or; Vegas adopts a puppy.

6. Sharing Different Heartbeats by @raelle-writing https://archiveofourown.org/works/40549581

Of course Vegas noticed Pete. But not with much weight. Sure, Pete was hot. But so were all of the rest of Kinn’s bodyguards. That wasn’t notable. It wasn’t worth more than a passing once-over, or an absent glance at the man’s ass in those suits they insisted on wearing. He had a nice ass, but it didn’t stick in Vegas’ mind. It was passing lust, nothing more. And he certainly wasn’t hotter than the other bodyguards– not Porsche, for example. The only thing notable about Pete was that he had a surprisingly soft, cute face, and a sunny, disarming smile. He looked far too soft for his job. But he was Tankhun’s head bodyguard, and one of the men that Kinn often tapped for important missions. Which meant that the cute, soft face was hiding real talent and skill. So yes, Vegas noticed Pete. But it didn’t mean anything.

OR: a retelling of the story from Vegas' POV, from first impressions until after the hospital.

7. The King Must Die https://archiveofourown.org/works/41144892

“It’s fine,” Macau assures Vegas, whose very soul feels plunged into turmoil. Tear-bright eyes, a faint handprint on his sheltered face, and Macau tries to comfort Vegas. “It’s fine, I promise.” Vegas would kill for his brother, indiscriminately. He’s just now realising quite what that means.

(The queer experience of having an ill-advised one night stand with your cousin's head bodyguard and then ending up in hiding with him while you plot to kill your father.)

8. The Last Thing Left to Break by @blackwatervial https://archiveofourown.org/works/41053809

Hatred ran deep between the Theerapanyakul and the Saengtham family. It was common knowledge that the two leaders, Khun Vegas and Khun Pete, despised each other and used every small excuse to initiate yet another bloody conflict. Only that no one was really aware what happened behind closed doors…

9. the mortifying ordeal of falling in love by @dage-mingjue https://archiveofourown.org/works/41659146

“If I had to rate you?” Pete pauses and tilts his head with a low hum, considering. “I dunno, a six out of ten? I thought you were a sadist, but you didn’t really give that impression. Are you actually kinky? That didn’t feel kinky. It didn’t do it for me.” Vegas looks like someone punched him. Hard. His cock is still out and his hair is rumpled and he looks devastatingly disheveled, like Pete was the one who just took Vegas apart and not the other way around. “I’d worry that it was just a fluke,” Pete continues, ignoring Vegas’s flabbergasted sputters, “but I also don’t think I’d give you a second time to prove me wrong.” Pete shrugs and fixes his shirt, petting back his hair. “Anyway, see you around.” — Or a fic in which Vegas fucks through all of Kinn’s bodyguards and lands on Pete, but Pete uno reverses it on Vegas leaving Vegas wanting so much more. Vegas gets humiliated and has to work for it.

[merlintheactor]

Yeah okay so I scrolled through the alexithmyia tag and I don’t think it has this in any recent posts. I tend to be very dynamic while explaining stuff, so I’ll try and add that to the list

So, my aspiring students, what is this thing that you’ve probably never heard of, and why am I telling you about it?

Well, first let’s explain what it is. In the broadest possible sense, alexithmyia is basically a null condition. (Such as asexual, agender, aromantic) What I mean is it’s something describing the lack of something, which in this case is emotion. Alexithmyia is the inability to describe emotions or in some cases, not even feel them properly.

Have you ever experienced things like burning rage, or butterflies in your stomach, or the coiled rope of guilt deep in your stomach, or panic in your throat?

Alexithmeics (?) don’t have that. Or some do, it’s complicated. We’ll get to it.

I’m not a professional, this is all just my (and others) lived experience but I’ve seen the condition broken down into two categories, cognitive & affective. I saw this first on the reddit community for alexithmyia but I like it so I’m yoinking it.

Mu main source for this is an article by Zoe Blade (http://notebook.zoeblade.com/Alexithymia.html). It has sources, and is generally a better breakdown than what I’m going to do. Please check it out, it’s very good.

I’m writing my own thing on tumblr because most people won’t find it on reddit, don’t use it, or just won’t click a link on a random post. Itll probably sound very similar.

Cognitive alexithmyia is basically the original definition , where people with it have a great deal of difficulty describing their emotions. Sometimes it takes time to study the emotion, or sometimes you find out what the emotion was days later. This one isn’t really my lived in experience, but I have felt it occasionally.

Affective alexithmyia is the second definition, which I am a part of (yay!). It’s the inability to feel emotions on a visceral level. The way I’ve described it before is that metaphors about emotions don’t apply to me. I have never felt burning rage, I have never felt my stomach have butterflies, only once have I felt proper guilt.

This is mainly gonna focus on the second, because it’s the one I have.

Affective alexithmyia is complicated, as is anything that describes a null. I’m going to break it down into questions. So, in my best attempt to break it down, let’s begin.

How do you experience things like emotions, then? Are you unfeeling?

Yes and no. Affective alexithmyia means you can’t really feel things on a conscious level. As said before,the whole metaphor things about emotions don’t hit me. They’re just words. I usually have to infer how I feel from my body; if I listening to music, which I do enjoy, I can feel like bopping to the music, tapping my foot to the beat, stuff like that. From that, I can infer I’m enjoying it. If I’m very snappish and rude and it’s around six pm, I can usually tell it’s because I’m either overwhelmed from work, or I haven’t ate. If I read a hateful message, or a sad one, I can simply ignore it. I don’t feel angry. I can look forward to deleting the message, but I don’t get any emotion from it itself.

This is all to say that I’m not unfeeling, usually. I can express emotions, but they don’t come out the same way as everyone else, nor am I usually aware of them. Sometimes, I can just not feel emotions. I went to my mother’s funeral, and didn’t shed a single tear, not really feel the loss. This is to say it really depends. Sometimes my emotions don’t manifest, sometimes they do. The overarching point is that alexithmiacs with the affective side of things experience things almost fundamentally different to most people.

I am basically incapable of holding a grudge. What little emotion I do feel fades quickly, like a summer storm. I can’t be angry at someone for more than like an hour, most.

Why does this matter? How does it affect things?

Well, having the condition of alexithymia can cause a hell of a lot of social problems, especially as it’s usually paired with things like autism. People don’t generally like unemotive people. They’re hard to read and understand which can lead to a harder social life, harder times relating to people, hell even parenting. I haven’t conducted any research, obviously, but there’s a chance not having a broad social life might not really matter to people with alexithmyia. It doesn’t to me, anyway.

It can also lead to internal problems, physical or emotional. Because your signals aren’t properly getting to your brain, you can have issues with feeling hunger or thirst, bowels or bladder. You’ll probably still feel the signals, but only when your body is screaming at you. I wouldn’t say this is a uniquely alexithmyia related issue as, like I said, it’s comorbid with a lot of neurodivergent conditions. This could be due to ADHD, or autism, etc. it also leads to motivational problems, at least for me. I can’t feel invested in things easily. I’m always aware that I’m reading a book, playing a game, and when it comes to being creative, it’s hard to put my pen to paper.

On an emotional level, like I said, it can cause social problems. I personally don’t experience things like most people. It can make me seem cold and unfeeling. It can also lead to a lot of questioning and mental problems, because I mean. You’re fundamentally different to your peers. That will screw you up. It’s why alexithmyia needs more study and needs to be better known.

Things like raising kids and having partners is also pretty hard, from what I’ve seen. How does one understand a kid’s emotions when you don’t experience any? Some links for parenting are here, here and here. Partner links are here, here and here.

It also matters because I, god mage of everything, decided it does. Can’t refute that, now can you!

How does one get alexithmyia? When does it affect you?

My understanding is it’s broadly a genetic thing. I have it, my dad has it. It can also apparently be caused by trauma, repressing of emotions.

Does it manifest in kids? No idea. I was a fairly bubbly kid, apparently, but that changed as I started to approach teenage hood. I assume it has something to do with signals being too weak to reach the body, similar to depression with serotonin and adhd, but I have no clue. I haven’t done detailed research.

How does this affect creativity? Are you all maths people?

No. Much like anyone else, we have a variety of jobs and desires. There are actors with alexithmyia, writers, scientists etc. no one is bound to one job because of their conditions. I am bad at maths, I like writing and acting. I know another who doesn’t really read or watch things too often but loves maths and wants to do farming.

People are unique, no matter what.

Who’s got alexithmyia in media?

Far as I’m aware? No one. No characters have my condition. I assume it’s due to a few factors.

One, this is very unknown. You can’t write something you’ve never heard about, at least not intentionally.

Two, it’s extremely difficult to write someone with an inability to feel emotions. Characters are often emotionally different. Can you imagine FitzChivalry without his rage and emotion, or Kaladin without his deep sense of honour, drive for change and depression?

I hope to one day write a story with an alexithmyic character, but it’s a long way off.

Conclusion

Alright, finished! If you have questions, send me an ask or something. I’ll try and answer.

Please note a lot of these links, all of them except for Zoe’s, are anecdotal. There are a few science links within the subreddit itself, and Zoe has a lot of sources for her stuff. I’m not going to do a research kind of post until I have a firm grasp of said research. This is merely my experience, and people who exist on reddit because that’s the only place I’ve found an alexithmyia community.

I’m also interested in hearing from creatives about this stuff, and how it affects your work. God knows it affects mine.

[thetravelerwrites]

The Hunt (DuMont)

Rating: Explicit  Relationship: Female Elf/Male Tiefling/Female Tiefling Additional Tags: Exophilia, Tiefling, Elf, D&D, Dungeons & Dragons, Sex, Biting, Marking, Group Sex, Dom, Size Difference  Words: 5228

Enania includes Kharis in The Hunt, a special event where DuMont gets to let loose and follow his instincts. Please reblog and leave feedback!

“I don’t know about this, all of a sudden,” Kharis said, hoisting the pack higher onto her back. 

“This was your idea!” Enania shot back, tightening the straps of her own. “As soon as you heard about the hunt, you immediately begged to join the next one! You can’t back out now, we’ve already left the group!” 

“I know, but I don’t know the first thing about camping or survival!” Kharis said, wearing new hiking clothes and a pair of sturdy boots. She had thankfully forgone wearing the normal flowy gowns she preferred to wear around her wings and tail. She liked unrestricted movement. “I’m a city girl, I’ve never been in the great outdoors before. I’m completely out of my element. I don’t know what I’m doing!”

“Well, I do, so quit your bellyaching,” Enania replied. “We’ve only got a day’s head start, and we’re going to need every second of it. DuMont is relentless when he gets into a hunting headspace, so we need to be just as relentless if we want to try to beat him to the summit.” 

“Why do we want to beat him?” Kharis asked. “Since when was this a competition?” 

“Trust me, it’s not,” Enania said. “We were never going to win against DuMont, but the chase is the part he likes the most. We have to give it our all or he won’t have any fun. Plus, the big guy likes to cheer us on, in his own way. If we were, by some miracle, able to reach the summit first, he’d be even happier than we would be, I’d wager.” 

Kharis smirked in a fond way. “He has seemed kind of down lately. I wonder why.” 

“It’s the anniversary of his foster father’s death,” Enania informed her. “The first anniversary, in fact. I knew it was going to be a rough day for him, so I suggested a hunt to take his mind off things. I was surprised he agreed.”

“Hm,” Kharis said. “Strange. I wonder what it’s like to feel close to family. Never experienced it.” 

“Likewise,” Enania said with a sigh. 

“What about your brother? Weren’t you close with him?” 

“My brother was much older than me, more than ten years older. We got along better than anyone else in my family, but we were too far apart in age to have anything in common. Our relationship was good because it was surface level. I suppose that’s why: we didn’t know each other well enough to hate each other.” 

Enania’s older brother and eldest sibling, the former crown prince Heron, ran away several years ago after expressing that he had no desire to ascend the throne. He was declared officially exiled from the capital as punishment for his desertion, not that he would have cared, and was believed by most to be dead. He, like Enania after him, had grown bored of political intrigue and tired of the bloody backstabbing between the many warring factions of court, all desperate to put the puppet they supported in power in the effort to keep power for themselves. 

Kharis had been desperately in love with Enania’s brother before he left, and though she said she was over him now, Enania couldn’t help but notice the wistful glitter in Kharis’s eye whenever he was brought up.

“I see,” Kharis said, looking thoughtful. “I didn’t have any siblings to either fight with or get along with, sadly. Considering how much my parents hate each other, it’s kind of a miracle I exist at all. I couldn’t possibly be a worse mother than my own was, that’s for certain. Maybe we could make better families for ourselves, now that we’re away from court.” 

“Speak for yourself,” Enania said with a derisive snort. “I’m having way too much fun to settle down and start popping out kids. Honestly, I don’t know if I’d be any better of a parent than my own were, and I doubt I’ll ever be in a mood to find out.” 

“Yeah…” Kharis said distantly. “But… a real family could be nice. Maybe. Being loved could be nice.” 

Enania looked at Kharis and smiled sadly. “It is. I hope you get to find out one day.” 

Kharis blew a dry laugh through her nose. “Me too.” 

Enania took Kharis’s hand, and together, the two of them entered the treeline, making their way toward the summit. 

DuMont stepped into the forest, tamping down every sense besides smell, and lowered his head to the forest floor. His quarry had come through this path, no doubt, but it had detoured off the trodden path into the overgrown brush. If DuMont could have smiled, he would have. They were going easy on him to start, it seemed. Well, he’d have to teach them a firm lesson about underestimating him, then, wouldn’t he? 

Crouching, he launched himself into the greenery, disappearing among the trees.

Part of the reason Enania had agreed to take Kharis on this hunting expedition was to teach her some survival skills so she could manage if she got separated from the group. As the moments passed, however, Enania was growing more and more concerned about Kharis’s ability to survive on her own in the wild. In less than an hour, she had tripped over nothing twice, almost accidentally eaten poisonous mushrooms, having mistook them for edible ones, and had come close to knocking down a low-hanging beehive with her long tail. It didn’t help that her tiny wings, an artifact that alluded to possible fae heritage deep in her genes, dropped magical fireflower seeds that bloomed and wilted within seconds of touching the ground, leaving a trail that was both visible and detectable through smell. 

Stealth was not going to work. They were going to have to rely on speed instead.

“I need a break!” Kharis said, huffing a large breath and setting down her pack. 

“Kharis, come on, we don’t have time for this!” Enania said, looking over her shoulder at the underbrush. “We’ve already wasted too much time! Our head start was over two hours ago!” 

“Do you really think he can cover that much ground in two hours?” Kharis said, sitting on a tree stump and pulling a canteen from her hip. 

“Are you kidding me?” Enania said. “I’m surprised he hasn’t caught us already!” She shook her head at Kharis. “I love you, babe, but you are not suited to this kind of thing at all. I don’t know how we’re supposed to take you on quests or into dungeons.” .

“I volunteer to be the party treasurer,” She said, holding up her hand as she took a large gulp of water from the canteen. 

“You’re gonna have to fight Norman for it, but sure,” Enania said.

Kharis sighed and closed her eyes, letting her head fall back. 

“Do you think I should take up juggling?” She asked Enania. “Maybe I can make money as an entertainer instead of an adventurer.”

Enania didn’t answer, and Kharis opened her eyes to find that she wasn’t there. She was instead sitting on a stump by herself, surrounded by the tall trees. Panicked, she got to her feet and spun, looking for her friend. 

She heard a sudden moaning and followed the sound, coming around a particularly large tree to see that Enania was on her hands and knees, her face pressed into the grass, her eyes half-lidded and her mouth open, a giant smile plastered across her face as if she were the happiest she’d ever been. Her clothes were in tatters, the pieces of it strewn around her body. Kneeling behind her, holding her down with bits of Enania’s clothes in his teeth, was DuMont, his jaws open and drooling, fucking her mercilessly. 

Before she could move, DuMont’s tongue lashed out like a whip and wrapped itself around her ankle, pulling her legs out from under her and dragging her toward him. A momentary panic gripped her until she remembered why she was here, and then she gave over to it and submitted to the experience. 

With one giant hand, DuMont picked her up and pushed her against a tree, not necessarily roughly but certainly not gently. With his hips still pistoning against Enania’s body, DuMont lifted his head and used his teeth to rip out the crotch of her pants. Whimpering with both anticipation and a hint of fear, Kharis spread her legs wide, resting her feet on his horns. DuMont’s long, long tongue slithered out of his mouth and licked a clean stripe from her back to front. She moaned at the sudden sensation, her head hitting the tree behind her. His tongue entered her, thrusting in time with his thrusts into Enania. The moaning from both women shook the birds out of the trees. 

Enania came once: Kharis could tell from the pitch and frequency of her moaning–and also by the swearing–but DuMont did not stop, his pace relentless. She came a second time, and then a third, before DuMont arched his back and roared, his tongue still embedded inside of Kharis. Ribbons of his seed splurted out of Enania, over and over. Kharis came after they were done, drenching her thighs in her cum, and DuMont withdrew his tongue, setting her back on her feet, although she fell to the ground, since her legs had no feeling in them. She rolled onto her back and gulped air. 

DuMont sat back on his haunches, now out of his hunting space and meekly watching the women recover, before setting up camp while they were starfished on the ground. 

“Are we resting already?” Enania asked, heaving breaths. “It’s not even midday yet.”

“Are you really in any state to keep going?” Kharis asked sardonically, sitting up and brushing the dirt and leaves out of her hair. 

Enania groaned, rubbing her legs as if to get the feeling back. “Shut your face.” 

“I’m hungry anyway,” Kharis said, standing and helping DuMont lay out the stones to build a fire. “That took it out of me.” 

“You gotta build up some stamina, otherwise you’ll never survive this week,” Enania said, finally sitting up and watching Kharis and DuMont set up. 

“Big talk for someone who’s basically naked right now,” Kharis retorted. 

“Hey, you’re not much better, you know,” Enania shot back, standing up and wandering drunkenly toward her pack. 

“At least my tits aren’t out,” Kharis said.

“Pfft, that just means I got more out of it than you,” Enania insisted, stripping off what remained of her clothing and digging around to find replacements while completely nude. 

“I shall go get lunch for us,” DuMont said abruptly, and sauntered off into the woods, looking for prey. 

“He really likes hunting, huh?” Kharis asked. 

“He really likes hunting,” Enania said. “I guess it’s partly his nature and partly being locked up his entire life. I wish I had known it sooner, we could have had so much fun.” 

“You’re a pervert,” Kharis mused with a laugh. 

“Hey, you’re right here next to me, what does that say about you?” 

“That I’m a follower, clearly,” She said. Enania snorted. 

Shortly, DuMont returned carrying a wild pig on his shoulder. 

“At least we know we’ll never starve with this big lug around,” Kharis said, impressed. “He wasn’t even gone five minutes.” 

“Yeah, we’ll always be good on food as long as he stays healthy and we have access to the forest,” Enania agreed. “Our food budget is pretty low. Which is great, because he eats like a bear.” 

“Can you blame him? Look at the size of him,” Kharis said, gesturing at him. “Can you even imagine how much energy he burns by just breathing?” 

“I know how much he burns by fucking,” Enania said. “I’ve done plenty of research on it.”

“You’re a pervert,” Kharis repeated.

“Yes, that’s been well established.” 

DuMont made quick work of gutting the pig and butchering it, and had it roasting on a spit while the girls drooled. He kept gently knocking their hands away as they tried to sneak a piece or two off of the spit. Once it was done, he cut the girls generous portions before inhaling the rest himself as if it were fresh mountain air.

Finally fed and suddenly exhausted, all three of them fell asleep. However, Kharis was shaken awake sometime just before nightfall by Enania. The sky was pink and purple, and she couldn’t see any beams of sunlight through the trees. 

“Shh!” Enania said. “He drank an entire bottle of whiskey, so he’s a little buzzed and sleeping pretty hard, but he’ll wake up soon. We gotta get going now.” 

“But he caught us,” Kharis said, getting her things together. 

Enania snorted, and then held a hand over her mouth, glancing at DuMont, who was curled up like a puppy, sleeping. 

“So what? It doesn’t stop just because we got caught, you quitter. The hunt is still going. It goes until we reach the summit, no matter how many times we get caught.” 

“Oh, gods, I’m gonna need a month to recover after this,” Kharis said, groaning. 

“Don’t worry,” Enania said quietly as they stalked into the brush. “DuMont will take very good care of us when this is over. Very good care.”

“The way you said that does not make me feel very confident that I’ll recover at all,” Kharis grumbled. 

“Let’s just get going,” Enania said. 

“But I’m hungry,” Kharis said, her stomach grumbling. 

“Don’t whine,” Enania said. “I’ll teach you how to forage if it kills me. We may not always have DuMont hunting wild pigs for our convenience, and we shouldn’t expect him to, either, so we need to know how to do it ourselves. Do you still have your daggers?” 

“Yeah,” Kharis said, reaching into her pack and taking out a belt with throwing daggers on it. “I don’t know why you insisted I get these. I’m hopeless at hand to hand.” 

“You won’t be using it for that,” Enania said. “The best you can hope for at your size is defensive or ranged weapons. If you could wield a bow, that would be even better, but that attempt ended badly. I don’t know if Sanoh will ever really forgive you for ruining her favorite veil, but what can you do?” She gestured to the daggers. “ I can teach you to hunt small game with those. Hopefully.” She looked up at the darkening sky and crinkled her forehead. “We’ll have to table that for now, though. I can’t teach you much while we’re moving in the dark. Let’s go, and keep your eyes open, will you? You’ve got better dark vision than me.” 

Kharis snickered. “All those trees running up to hit you in the face and all.” 

“Hey, it’s not my fault I’m mildly colorblind. It’s the trees’ fault for being a weird color in the dark.” 

“Sure, sure,” Kharis said, strapping the belt to her waist.

Another day of travel brought them to the base of the mountain they’d be climbing. It wasn’t a large mountain; climbing it would only take a day or so to an experienced climber, which in fairness, neither of them were. It was specifically chosen for how easy it was to traverse. 

Knowing the climb would slow them down, they wasted no time in starting the hike, looking behind them for any signs of DuMont. He needed less sleep than his companions, so they both knew he was hot on their heels already. He’d always give them a full day simply out of courtesy and love of the hunt. He was very aware that nearly every normal bipedal person of humanoid size was at a disadvantage against him, and he adjusted accordingly.

“I hate climbing!” Kharis yelled around dusk. The shadows were cast long on the floor of the forest, and Kharis was praying they would make camp soon. 

“Shh!” Enania replied, looking around. “There’s a cave just ahead. We can scout it and take a break there if it’s clear.” 

“Thank the gods,” Kharis groaned, though she balked at the word break . “I almost regret suggesting this.” 

“Almost,” Enania said with a grin. “Keep your voice down when we get inside. The cave will amplify our voices. And don’t light a fire. Oh!” Enania pointed into the distance. Kharis saw a small dog, possibly a farm dog from the village to the west, poking around the underbrush. She crouched down and clicked her tongue, beckoning the dog toward her. Reaching into her pack, she took out a biscuit and offered it to the dog. The dog came close and took the biscuit from her hand, and while he was munching on it, Enania took a tiny bottle from her pocket and used a small amount of twine to affix the bottle around the dog’s neck. Then, she took another biscuit from her pack and threw it pretty far. The dog bolted, and Enania stood back up, smiling. 

“That was my perfume,” Enania said. “It’ll buy us time.” 

“Smart,” Kharis said, and pulled Enania’s sleeve. “Let’s get to the cave. My legs feel like jelly.” 

Inside, they both sat down, let go of their packs, and stretched out on the ground, letting the coolness of the rock ease their tense muscles. 

“Let’s go ahead and get a snack in while we’re resting,” Enania said, sitting up. “We’re gonna need it to get up this mountain.” 

“Fine by me,” Kharis said, sitting up as well. “I could go for a pastry right now. I want something sweet so badly. I almost miss living in my mansion. At least then, I could eat whatever I wanted and didn’t have to subsist on jerky and trail mix.”

“You like trail mix,” Enania insisted. 

“Well, sure, as a novelty, but not every day,” She rebutted. 

“Stop complaining, we’ll get you a nice feast once we regroup with the others,” Enania promised. “Get you some donuts and some cinnamon rolls…” 

“Stop it, I’m starving!” Kharis cried. 

“Don’t be a baby. We’ll reach the summit by tomorrow afternoon at the latest, and it’ll be much easier getting down the mountain than it was going up. DuMont may even let you ride on his shoulders all the way down.”

“Ugh, that would be great, my legs are going to fall off.” 

A growling sound issued from the deepest part of the cave, and the two turned to look. They recognized the sound: no bear, no wildcat, no wolf sounded like that. They knew exactly who that growl belonged to. 

“Enania…” Kharis asked. “Is there another entrance to this cave?” 

“I don’t know…” She replied, hastily snatching up her gear. “Go, go!” 

Kharis stood just in time to see a red blur blow past her and skid to a stop near Enania, kicking up the dust from the stone floor. DuMont towered over Enania with a rope in his hand, deftly tying Enania up and flipping her over, ripping at her clothes again. She seemed delighted by the prospect, but that was all Kharis saw before she turned, abandoning her own gear, and ran out of the cave and down the slope. She had to admit, as much as she hated the climb, the chase was exhilarating. She could do this part of the hunt all day long.

He must have been occupied with Enania, since he hadn’t chased after Kharis, but she knew that wouldn’t last long. Outrunning him was impossible, but hiding and evading could be an option. Being light and on the short side, only 4 foot 11, she could shimmy up a tree pretty well and leap from branch to branch, using her tail as a counterbalance. DuMont, with his massive size and height, being over nine feet, and possessing no tail to help him, would be at a disadvantage up in the branches.

Climbing like a spider up the side of a tree, she climbed as high as she felt comfortable doing, which was pretty high, cloaked herself in the leaves, grateful that she had worn a more neutral colored outfit for the hike. It would only be a matter of time before he caught her scent and nabbed her, but the camouflage would help. 

At some point, though, she started to grow bored, wondering what was keeping him. As she was contemplating coming down to check on them, she felt herself being snatched out of her perch and falling, in the arms of a giant red tiefling. 

“How?!” She asked incredulously. “I didn’t even hear you!” 

DuMont didn’t answer, still in his hunting space. He pinned her to the ground, swiping her pants and undergarments off in one fluid motion, and entering her slowly despite snarling and struggling to keep himself still. He was so large that she could feel him in all corners over her body. Pleasure burst through her body as she moaned. He sped up, his tongue finding its way into her shirt to tease her nipples. His wide, lidless eyes wild and intense, staring down at her as he salivated, breathing heavily with each thrust inside of her.

“Oh, fuck, harder,” She gasped, and he obliged, ramming into her hard enough to sting but not enough to really injure her. She hissed in a breath, her brow furrowing and her mouth open as he slammed into her over and over. Her moaning echoed throughout the trees as he railed her on the forest floor… until she felt something fall into her eyes, immediately stinging the left one. 

“Ow, ow!” She cried out, pulling away from DuMont and cradling her face.

“Let me see it,” He said, instantly out of the hunting space. DuMont took his role as the protector of the group very seriously, especially when it concerned any of the girls, and any injury they sustained was enough to pull him out of any rage or aggressive headspace he may have been in. Enania loved to talk about him like a guard dog, but in reality, he was the biggest puppy that ever lived. 

He gently lifted her hands away from her face and studied her eye. 

“You’ve got something in there,” He said. “It looks like a piece of bark.”

“Can you get it out?” She said plaintively. “It really hurts!” 

“Be still, please,” He said, carefully using the smooth side of his claw to gingerly nudge the bark out. Using his canteen that hung from his belt, which again caused her to wonder how he’d managed to sneak up on her, he poured water into the eye to clean it of any remaining debris. 

Now that her eye was better and the mood had clearly been ruined, she pulled her clothes back on and DuMont allowed her to climb on his back so that she didn’t have to trudge back up the slope. He was thoughtful like that. 

Enania was still tied up, her clothing in absolute ribbons, and she looked up from where she was trussed curiously. There were bite marks all over her shoulders, some of which were bleeding slightly.

“That was fast,” She remarked, looking completely unbothered. 

“A bit of bark decided to plant itself in my eye, and it kind of killed the moment,” Kharis said. 

She shrugged as best she could. “It happens.” 

DuMont untied her, removed her ragged clothes, and began fussing over her bites, apologizing for being so rough.

“Stop saying you’re sorry,” She said, waving at him dismissively. “I told you to do it, so it’s not like you did it against my will.”

“Even so,” He said, gently applying ointment to the bites. “I do not enjoy seeing you injured, nor do I enjoy knowing it was I who injured you.” 

Enania sighed a little guiltily. “I know, big guy. It’s not your fault. If it makes you feel any better, I really like it.” 

“I feel only slightly better,” He said, massaging the areas. “But no more biting until these heal.” 

“Sure, sure,” She assured him. She allowed DuMont to redress her with fresh clothing from her pack, which was something he did when she couldn’t be bothered to do it herself. She liked using him to be as lazy as she wanted, and it worked out perfectly for DuMont, since he enjoyed pampering her whenever he could get the rare chance to do so.

“Can we just make camp, since he’s caught us? I’m so done for the day,” Kharis weedled. 

“Alright, alright,” Enania said. “I’m feeling a bit sore anyway. But no bitching when we get up in the morning. We’re in the last leg, so I won’t hear any bellyaching from you.”

“I won’t, I promise,” Kharis replied, picking up the bag of trail mix she’d dropped when she ran. 

The next morning, they set out in the same way as they had before, in the dark while DuMont was sleeping. They weren’t very far from the summit at this point, and they were likely to reach it by midday. They were mostly quiet, as even Enania was starting to get tired, but just as the sun reached the apex of the sky, she shouted out loud.

“The summit!” Enania said, pointing. “We’re almost there! Run for it!” 

Before they had even taken the first running step, Kharis could hear the sound of something charging them, and turned to see Dumont gaining on them fast, down on all fours and breathing like an overheated dog.

“Oh shit!” She exclaimed, and took off, straining the muscles in her legs. “Go!” 

As they went, they passed a young elf man going the opposite direction. He seemed to have been on a pilgrimage to the summit himself and was on his way back down the mountain.

“Everything alright, ladies?” He called just as they passed, only to swear and drop his pack when he saw DuMont hurtling toward them. He somehow produced a short sword and pointed it at DuMont, who skidded to a stop upon seeing the silver blade pointed at him, tilting his head much like a dog who didn’t understand the command. The two didn’t stop to help either of them, both reaching the expanse just before the peak of the mountain, Kharis shortly after Enania.

“We made it!” Kharis said, jumping in triumph. “We made it to the summit! He didn’t get us!” She stopped jumping. “Well… he didn’t get us the third time.”

“Actually, I think he needs some help over there,” Enania said, trying not to laugh. 

DuMont was standing at the incline, looking down in bemused helplessness at the elven man, who was threatening the over-large tiefling with the sword and shouting about “leaving these poor women alone”. Well, “threatening” would be an overstatement: he barely reached DuMont’s chest, despite being rather tall, and his arms were noodles by comparison. At one point, DuMont grabbed the blade of the sword, completely unfazed since his skin was inexplicably as tough as troll hide, and said something to the effect of, “You oughtn’t play with knives. You’ll get hurt, you know.” 

“Let’s stop that poor man before he injures himself.” 

“DuMont?” 

“Pfft, no, that other fellow. He’s more likely to break his bones trying to fight DuMont than do any harm to him.” 

Snorting, Kharis followed Enania down the hill, shouting over the elven man, who was going absolutely feral at this point, though looking much like an angry kitten. 

“Give off!” Enania shouted at the well-intentioned but confused man. “He’s ours!”

“Ours?” The man said, bemused, ceasing to struggle against DuMont’s grip. DuMont released him once he went still. 

“We’re playing a game!” She called back. “Don’t interfere!” 

“Oh!” The elven man said, mollified. “Well… Carry on, then!” 

Sheathing his sword, he waved at the three of them and quick-marched down the slope, seemingly embarrassed by his own actions. 

“Poor thing,” Kharis said with a laugh.

“You made it!” DuMont said, jumping back and forth happily. “You have both made it to the summit! I only caught you twice! You did so well!” 

“Aww, thanks, big guy,” Enania said, grinning. “To be fair, you’d have caught us if it wasn’t for that lout.” 

“He’s not a lout,” DuMont replied, cocking his head. “Just… over-enthusiastic, perhaps.” 

“You’re too nice, big guy,” Enania said. “Come on. Let’s have a party up here. I saved a bottle of the good stuff in my bag.” 

“You can’t leave me when I sleep this time,” DuMont said, sitting and beginning to build up a fire from the sticks he’d carried on his back. The women figured he had done it when he was giving them a head start and found himself bored. 

“I won’t,” Enania said. “The game is over, We leave together. Hell, I’ll probably ride you back down the mountain.” 

“Ooh, would you let us do that, DuMont? My legs are sooooo sore.”

“Of course,” He said. 

Kharis threw an arm around his waist and pulled him down to kiss his cheek. “Always the gentleman.” 

They proceeded to get very drunk, or as drunk as DuMont was capable of getting with the size of the bottle, and slept the rest of the day away right there at the base camp. Waking in the night,  DuMont woke both women by nudging them with his boney nose. He was breathing hard and grunting, and Enania realized he was hard. She grinned. He never initiated: it was usually her who took charge in that respect. He must have felt frustrated when they were cut short earlier and hadn’t realized it. 

Enania pulled Kharis to her feet and placed her so that she was sitting on DuMont’s chest, and pulled her to lay down, her back to DuMont’s front, with her pussy presented for licking. DuMont’s arms wrapped around Kharis, holding her in place as his tongue entered her, and she moaned. Enania sat between DuMont’s legs, pulling the tip of his cock into her mouth and sucking it, using her hands to stroke the length of him that wouldn’t fit. He groaned and growled, and he came quickly, painting the ground in cum. 

Without waiting, as he was still rock hard, Enania climbed on top of him and eased him into her. He bucked and she gasped, grinning. She bounced hard and fast over him and braced her hands against Kharis’s shoulders, bending to kiss her. Enania moaned wildly, heedless of who might hear her, while playing with Kharis’s breasts and stomach. Roaring as he came a second time, DuMont reared up and pulled both women off him, spinning Enania around on her knees and re-entering her roughly from behind. Kharis wound up under Enania, who took up the task of sucking Kharis’s pearl and pressing her fingers inside her. 

Enania’s body shook while she came, howling. DuMont pulled out of her and gently knocked her out of the way and entered Kharis, still raring to go. Kharis cried out and gripped DuMont’s wrists as he took her hips in his hands and rammed himself into her. Kharis had been brought to the edge by both Enania and DuMont’s talented tongues, so it took no time at all for her to cum as well. DuMont came again one final time before relinquishing Kharis’s body.

Satiated, DuMont fell onto his back and the women curled up under his arms, one on each side, and they fell into a well earned sleep.

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My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

[siriuslysatorusimping]

Teasing and Techniques (Another Level - Installment 2, Part 1)

Summary:

“Gojo Satoru,” she called, watching his lips quirk upward into a smirk. “What’s a Tokyo boy such as yourself doing all the way out in Kyoto?” “Kurisaki Rinko,” he replied easily, hands in his pockets as he walked towards her slowly until he stood directly in front of her. “You never did tell me how your cursed technique works. How about it?" - “You’re a Zenin.” More like an unwanted mistake. Which, funny enough, had actually been the first words she ever heard her father say to her.

AN: I decided to combine the first two parts of the original, so this is Part 1 and 2 from the AO3 version :)

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Teasing and Techniques - Part 1 (and 2) 2010

“Gojo Satoru,” Rinko called, watching his lips quirk upward into a smirk. “What’s a Tokyo boy such as yourself doing all the way out in Kyoto?”

It had been almost four years since they’d first met at the exchange event when they were in school. Their paths hadn’t had reason to cross since.

She never imagined she’d come across him in an abandoned warehouse in the middle of Kyoto, exorcizing the curse she’d been tracking. It was a Grade 3 at most, so it surprised her that he was wasting his Special Grade time on something so weak.

A different kind of confidence oozed from him, a result of his obvious growth.

She’d heard about his achievements through the grapevine, never surprised that he was excelling. After all, she’d experienced his power before he reached his full potential and barely survived.

Part of her shuddered at the thought of another fight like that now, with him at his full strength. Another part craved it more than anything else.

He’d exchanged his sunglasses for white bandages to cover his eyes, but even still, she knew he could see clear as day. The makeshift blindfold covered most of his forehead too, pushing his hair up so it stood in uneven spikes.

“Kurisaki Rinko,” he replied easily. His hands were in his pockets as he walked towards her slowly until he stood directly in front of her. He was somehow taller than he had been in school, towering over her even more than their first meeting. “Guess I shouldn’t be surprised to run into you.” He tilted his head to the side, obviously staring at her even if she couldn’t see for herself. “What am I doing here? Dealing with your messes, of course.”

His reply caused her to roll her eyes, watching the small smirk grow into a grin.

“You never did tell me how your cursed technique works,” he said, leaning down so his face was level with hers. “How about it?”

She could tell his eyes were narrowing behind the bandages as he stared down at her, unable to sense her energy. It was how she’d snuck up on him to begin with.

“Don’t tell me you’ve been obsessing over me and my technique for the past four years?”

She kept her voice teasing, but she knew he’d made inquiries about her abilities since they’d met and even more after they’d graduated. He was a man who didn’t like not being in the loop, and she was sure it drove him crazy not getting answers.

Unlucky for him, her records were sealed tight.

“Of course not. But your energy output,” he continued, “reminds me of someone else I’ve met.”

Releasing the tight hold on her cursed energy, she poured it into her duplicates and prepared for the fight she knew was coming. The fight she was asking for.

“Ah,” she replied, letting her smirk grow. “I heard you had a bit of a run-in with Toji-kun.”

Just as she’d thought, the name made his energy spike, bloodlust filling her senses and she barely had enough time to swap with her closest duplicate before he annihilated her.

“A friend of yours?” he called, not turning to look at where she’d moved to. “Fushiguro Toji was a friend of yours?”

She knew better than to tempt fate, to taunt Gojo Satoru. But just like the first time, it was too much fun to resist. Still, she knew that if she wasn’t careful, he would kill her with ease. Last time she made him angry enough, she’d barely survived. With his power levels now? She didn’t stand a chance. And this time she didn’t have the luxury of teachers and witnesses stopping him if she actually pushed him too far.

If only he wasn’t so much fun to tease.

The strongest in the world was predictable when it came to how to rile him up.

“I only met Toji a few times,” she admitted, holding her hands up. “Heard he gave you a bit of a problem-”

He was barely containing his rage, but she knew that he could tell she wasn’t a real threat. That knowledge didn’t stop him from rushing towards her, his entire body buzzing with his cursed energy.

He’s faster than I remember, she thought to herself.

But of course he would be. His fight with Toji had supposedly unlocked something in him that had laid dormant until then. Allowed him to harness techniques he’d been unable to tap into before.

Her adrenaline spiked just like it had during their first fight years ago. She forced the excitement down and focused on ensuring she had a duplicate ready to swap with.

Staying on the defense was going to be harder this time, seeing as she knew his senses were stronger. He’d see through pretty much anything she threw at him now. Getting any cheap hits was extremely unlikely. With that thought at the forefront of her mind, she struggled to keep up with replacing her duplicates as he destroyed them. He was using just a smidge of cursed energy with each hit, meaning it was harder for her to create another.

Avoiding his hits was proving to be nearly impossible. He grew faster with each miss, a sadistic smile on his face the entire time.

“How did you know Fushiguro?” he asked casually as she physically dodged one of his punches. Her heart stuttered in her chest when she realized how close he’d been to hitting. A millisecond slower and her brains were painting the walls behind her. “And I am still so curious about this technique of yours-”

It was a display of his strength, how easily he could carry a conversation while she focused every ounce of energy on avoiding his inhuman barrage. And he was doing it on purpose. He knew exactly what he was doing.

Playing with her, just like she had with him.

Pouring energy into another set of duplicates, she instantly swapped with the furthest, watching as he exerted more cursed energy than before to demolish it.

He had learned how to tell the difference immediately, she realized. In fact, she paused, assessing the situation. Eyes narrowing slightly, she noticed that he was pulling his punches when he knew the her in front of him was real. The second she swapped away, he destroyed it.

It was true that he had surpassed his former self and even more true that she was in over her head in a fight against him. She’d always known she was no match. But now it was painfully obvious as he toyed with her.

Whispering to herself, she allowed her energy to flow freely, knowing it was a stupid risk. But picking a fight with Gojo Satoru had also been a stupid risk.

“Cursed Technique,” she murmured, taking control of her duplicates and allowing them to multiply. “Shadow Step.”

The echoes of her movement surrounded them now, and Gojo paused his assault to let out a loud laugh. Turning around slowly, he saw the dozens of copies, all mimicking her movements as she wanted. Releasing her grip, she allowed them to act independently, repeating past actions as she focused on masking her own energy to blend in.

But the level of concentration needed to keep the echoes going at the same time as her duplicates was quickly draining her energy.

A low whistle escaped Gojo’s mouth, his grin still in place as he reached up to pull his bandage blindfold down. Revealing his icy bright irises, he observed her technique with the full weight of his Six Eyes.

With those, he’d find her in seconds, she knew he would.

“You’re full of surprises, Kurisaki,” he called, searching the shadows for her. “Which one is real, hm?”

Without another word, he set to work destroying her echoes, letting out a laugh with each one that disappeared. Struggling to keep up with how quickly he got rid of them, she felt her energy waning as he enhanced his fists with cursed energy.

“Gotcha,” he suddenly said, turning and staring directly at her. He anticipated her dodge, fist shooting out faster than she could react and throwing her backward. Her technique fell, and she released a heavy grunt when her back met the hard concrete wall. It knocked the breath from her chest, and she struggled to push herself back to her feet.

Breathing was harder for more reasons than the shock of the impact. She’d felt some distinct cracks when his fist came in contact with her chest; and another crack when she slammed into the wall. 

Letting out a somewhat unhinged laugh, Gojo appeared in front of her again and grabbed her the front of her shirt.

“How many more techniques you got in that pretty head of yours?”

His breath was fanning across her face as he leaned down, his bright eyes staring straight through her. Destroying her echoes hadn’t been an attempt to find her, it was meant to weaken her.

“Guess you’ll have to wait and see,” she breathed, still trying to force the air back into her lungs. Her ribs creaked in response to her shaky inhale, a groan of pain almost escaping. “Or, you can buy me dinner as repayment for cracking a few ribs.”

Another smirk pulled the corners of his mouth, and he chuckled quietly. Releasing his grip on her shirt, he braced his hands against the wall behind her so she was caged in. He leaned even closer, his lips inches away from hers as his eyes stared into her soul.

“You asking me on a date, Kurisaki?”

It was her turn to laugh, watching his eyes flit down to her lips as the air wheezed out of her.

“Wouldn’t you love that, Gojo?” she teased, tilting her head to the side. “No, I’m offering to tell you about my technique. But you have to buy me sobayaki dan okonomiyaki first. I know a great place not too far from here.”

He had put his blindfold back in place as they walked to the izakaya, shoving his hands back in his pockets nonchalantly.

Now, he stared at her through it as their food was placed in front of them. His expression had been neutral when she returned the owner’s cheerful greeting. But when she snapped her chopsticks apart and sighed happily, his indifference began to crack. The amused smile broke free as he watched her barely resist the urge to inhale the steaming food.

She let out a quiet, delighted groan when the taste of the fluffy pancake and sauces exploded on her tongue.

“Ugh,” she moaned, ignoring how his amusement shifted into a smirk at the noise. “Nothing better than some delicious food after a long day and a few cracked ribs.”

He hummed quietly in agreement, digging into his own food while he continued to stare at her expectantly.

“How did you know Fushiguro?” he asked, his voice serious. Pulling part of the bandage down, he stared at her with one eye. “How would you know the Sorcerer Killer?”

“Cousins tend to know each other,” she stated vaguely, shoving a giant bite into her mouth.

Partially true. She hadn’t actually met most of her cousins.

But as she spoke, his eyebrows met his hairline.

“You’re a Zenin.”

More like an unwanted mistake. Which, funny enough, had actually been the first words she ever heard her father say to her.

Swallowing, she tutted, motioning with her chopsticks.

“Ah ah,” she began, forcing herself to pause to take a sip of her tea. “Fushiguro willingly gave up the name. Took his wife’s instead because of how much he hated the family.”

“But you didn’t.” Gojo’s voice was even as he set his chopsticks down, still staring at her intently. Clearly, seeing as she wasn’t married. But she’d let that slide. “Then what’s your story? You related to the Fushiguro family? They’re not related to the Zenin clan outside of-”

“Not Fushiguro,” she snorted. “I’ve never met any of them, at least outside of Toji.”

“Kurisaki isn’t a known family. And it isn’t associated with Zenin either-”

“Nope,” she stated, watching his face twitch when she cut him off. He was getting irritated, she could tell. “Kurisaki is a family with zero cursed energy, zero Jujutsu Sorcerers before me. Zero knowledge of curses-”

“Then how the fuck-”

“Someone is impatient,” she teased, feeling a thrill when he scowled. “Kurisaki is my mother’s name. My father, however-” she trailed off, feeling a small spike of fear at her almost slip up. She was already telling him too much.

At her pause, Gojo only quirked an eyebrow.

“Wanted nothing to do with me,” she continued flatly. “A bastard from a non-sorcerer family. My mother raised me away from the Zenin clan.”

“Then how’d you end up at Kyoto Tech?”

“Gakuganji,” she replied, pausing to slurp up some noodles. “Zenin may not acknowledge or want anything to do with me, but they couldn’t just let me run around untrained. Too much risk. So, when I hit the right age, they sent him to collect me. According to him, I was technically enrolled the day I was born under the stipulation that I displayed any signs of cursed energy when I got older.”

“Doesn’t explain how you ever met Fushiguro,” he said, leaning back. “He was a legitimate kid. Just didn’t have cursed energy. And if you were raised away from the main clan-”

“You’re so curious about Toji,” she said, her mouth still full of noodles. “S’pose he made an impression, huh?”

His mouth pressed into a thin line, and she quickly swallowed her bite as she realized that one was probably too far.

Toji had killed him, after all.

“Toji came and found me,” she admitted, placing her chopsticks down beside her plate. Gojo looked like he wanted to say something, but she held her finger up to silence him as she turned and called out, “Oi, could I get a beer?”

Upon confirmation, she turned back to see Gojo still leaning back as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Toji found me before Gakuganji came to get me,” she said, accepting her beer and taking a huge gulp. “I was twelve, I think? Maybe thirteen. I knew of the Zenins. Knew my father was one. But I didn’t know anything else.”

Except that one phone call, where her father had addressed her as the ‘unwanted mistake.’

“I was just starting to understand what I could do, or at least understand that I had the potential to do something. And had just found out I was lucky I’d been allowed to be born. He’d heard about me through whispers. Wanted to see what the fuss was about.” Pursing her lips to the side, she remembered what he’d asked her. “And he wanted me to keep him informed of clan happenings. He thought I’d be more involved with them once I started school.”

“And?”

“At the time, I considered it,” she admitted, shrugging. “I’d never met anyone else from the clan in person, I hated them already, and his ask wasn’t that difficult.”

She’d been bitter and angry. Hated that her only conversation with her father had started with him asking if she was the mistake.

“So you helped him-?”

“No,” she snapped defensively before deflating slightly. “Not really. I agreed that I’d let him know if and when the clan reached out to me. That was why I ended up meeting him more than once. But- after Yoshinobu took me to school, it didn’t take me long to tell him Toji had contacted me. Made me realize how stupid I’d been.” Pausing again, she took a deep breath, feeling her ribs protest. “Probably saved my life, though, agreeing the way I did.”

Gojo released a quiet grunt at that, a small frown on his face.

“He’d have killed you as a kid?” he asked, tilting his head to the side slightly. “Cold.”

“Pretty sure you already knew that,” she retorted. “Found out first hand, yeah? This was before he only cared about a paycheck, too. I have little doubt he’d have killed me that day to keep me from talking. Luckily, he never learned about my technique. But now, I obviously don’t have to worry about that-”

“So you’re telling me you owe me for getting rid of him,” Gojo said, an almost predatory grin forming. “Kurisaki Rinko in my debt?”

“Hardly,” she scoffed, staring at his blindfold now. “Toji’s only concern by the time you killed him was a paycheck. It’s why he killed you in the first place, remember? The only reason Toji ever would have targeted me was if it would have made him money.”

Though, she thought darkly, the Zenins would have paid him well.

“Last I heard from him was almost a year before you met him-”

“Oh?” Gojo leaned forward as he pulled his blindfold down slightly, revealing his left eye to her. “And why was that?”

“He’d heard I’d been to the estate for the first time,” she replied, her side aching. The scar under her ribs was a fun reminder of the only time she’d visited. “He wanted to know about the kid that was like him, the other one born without cursed energy.”

“Ogi’s kid.”

Everyone knew how much the Zenins despised that Ogi’s kids were ‘weak.’

“Thought that my visit was my introduction to clan activities,” she continued. “It wasn’t. I haven’t been back since. Too bad for him, he didn’t get his insider. He was honestly surprised I wasn’t welcome at the estate. Said he figured I would be with how strong I seemed. Think he was bullshitting me to get me to do what he wanted, though. He said he thought my father would want me around, which I know was bullshit-”

“Your father-?”

“I’ll leave that one as a mystery,” she said evasively, her gut dropping at the thought of him knowing. She knew better than to talk about him. “Anyway, yeah, as you pointed out earlier though, Toji had no cursed energy, and I can mask mine. Noticed how easily he could sneak up on people, thought it might come in handy.”

“Neat trick,” Gojo mused, tilting his head to the side. His blindfold was back in place. “So,” he was grinning again. “A Zenin bastard, eh? What a concept. They’re pretty traditional-”

“One reason I’m not welcome,” she agreed, watching him smirk. “One of the many reasons I’m not welcome.”

Taking another, longer pull of her beer, she felt the cool alcohol soothe her throat and her anxiety.

She hated the Zenins. But she also knew that she could get in huge trouble for telling Gojo as much as she had. While she wasn’t privy to details, she knew tensions were high between the two clans, and she’d technically just handed the Head of the Gojo clan a trump card.

Her stomach dropped as the weight of what she’d told him hit her, and she fought the panic that began to rise in her chest. At the very least, she hadn’t revealed her father’s name. But she assumed it couldn’t be that hard for him to figure out.

Rinko hated that old man, but she feared him more.

She feared that entire clan more, really.

That first and only visit to the estate had ended with a brawl that resulted in her being rushed away, barely breathing as the threat whispered in her ear echoed in her head.

And now, she’d just willingly told Gojo more than she’d ever told anyone about her family. Especially her relation to Toji. But for some reason, as she watched him, part of her believed she could at least trust him to not broadcast the information.

At least she hoped he wouldn’t.

The Gojo and Zenin clans didn’t get along, and tensions were high, but she hoped he didn’t care enough to use the information.

Plus, she’d promised she’d explain how she knew Toji after teasing him. Admittedly, it had probably been too much, poking fun at the fact that he’d quite literally died.

Not even a week after Rinko had met Gojo Satoru for the first time, he and Geto Suguru were escorting the Plasma Star Vessel. It wasn’t well known exactly what happened that night, but she knew enough to know that Toji had killed the girl and Gojo had killed Toji. And Gojo Satoru had died and risen again, calling himself the one and only blessed.

Hime knew more than she did because she’d been assigned to Tokyo at the time. And Shoko was there. But neither told her anything. And she hadn’t asked. It had been a sensitive subject, to say the least. Amanai Riko had only been thirteen, after all.

The one thing Rinko did know about that was that Gojo had been a terror in the few days leading up to them receiving the assignment for the escort. Hime had called her, saying that Gojo was grilling her about who Rinko was. She realized later that he had no idea she knew Shoko beyond her healing her injuries after he’d almost killed her.

“What did you do to him?” Hime had asked, her voice filled with amusement. “I’ve never seen him so worked up.”

She’d utterly humiliated him at the exchange event.

Well, humiliated was probably too strong a term. But she still reveled in the look of shock on his face when she’d landed that first blow. And the cold look in his eyes when she’d refused to tell him anything about her or her technique.

She hid her smirk at the memory by taking another drink, draining the rest of her beer, and letting out a small sigh of contentment.

Gojo had tried to find out more, she remembered the lecture she’d gotten for her display because of how many questions he’d asked. The more resistance he was met with, the harder he pushed, still coming up empty.

He’d inquired about her after they graduated, too. Tried to access her records. But, just like she’d discovered early on, he found they were sealed tighter than the higher-ups’ assholes.

“The great Six Eyes of the Gojo clan was bested by a Zenin bastard,” she stated, knowing she was once again poking a much larger, stronger bear. But she just couldn’t resist. “And not even just a bastard, a half-breed.”

As she spoke, Gojo’s jaw clenched. She watched his brow furrow, knowing now that meant he was narrowing his eyes at her.

To her surprise, though, he didn’t take the bait.

“Zenins are strong,” he stated, shrugging his shoulders. “Not surprising you’re stronger than you look.” He tilted his head towards her empty glass. “Indulging, I see.”

It was her turn to shrug, grinning at him as his face slipped into a bored expression.

“Might as well if you’re paying, right?” she teased, somehow just knowing that he was rolling his eyes. “Also helps numb the throbbing pain in my chest,” she said dramatically, and he let out a scoff. “Because you definitely cracked a few of my ribs.”

“Just means you still need to get stronger.”

There was no sympathy in his voice but also no malice. To him, he was just stating a fact.

Because to him, to the strongest, cracking someone's ribs like toothpicks was nothing.

They sat in silence for a few moments, before he was suddenly letting out a quiet hum. Leaning forward, he pulled the bandages down again so she could see his left eye staring at her intensely as he asked:

“You wanna get outta here?”

-

Next - Teasing and Techniques: Part 2

-

AN: Thoughts on the lil headers I'm making for these so far?

[xiubaek-13]

Chapter 47 - Do It Together

Requested: No

Genre: Canon-AU, smut

Pairing: ? (at this stage undecided) x Reader or is it Baekhyun x Reader ?

Warnings: 18+ fic, minors DNI! Smut, power play, pet names, dom/sub dynamics (if you squint), oral (m & f receiving), threesome mfm, unprotected sex (don't be like them), overstimulation, restraint, vaginal fingering, face fucking, vaginal sex, creampie, masturbation (m), dirty talk, like the entire chapter is smut ok? You've been warned.

Word Count: 10,350

A/N: Oh boy, ok so this took some time but also, these are my two EXO biases so writing this put me through it. There is only one chapter left after this and then this story will finally come to a close. It's been a labour of love (and took many more years to complete than I ever anticipated) and I'm thankful to each and every one of you who read and interact with this.

“Ok but like, if he comes back are we really doing this?” Baekhyun asked as soon as Minseok had left the room.

“Only if we all agree to the terms of the reward and are willing. He likes to be in charge so I dare say he’ll have rules about what you can and cannot do. So if you aren’t ok with being instructed by Xiumin then probably mention it sooner rather than later.” You replied. You paused for a moment then added. “I cannot tell you how nervous he has been to bring it up with you Baek. He was so certain that you would laugh and reject him. So like, let him down easy if you don’t want to do this.” The last thing you wanted was for him to come back only for Baek to change his mind. Minseok would be so embarrassed.

He shook his head and moved his chair closer to yours. “No, like I said, I’m completely down for this and I don’t mind if I’m in charge or if someone else is when sex is concerned.” 

“So versatile.” You smirked.

“You love it.” He winked.

“Actually, I don’t think I’ve experienced you not being in charge like that.” You let your mind drift as you imagined the different possibilities. Would Xiumin lay down a few generalised rules or would he direct the whole experience? Would he make Baek watch? Would he watch you and Baek? 

Baekhyun hummed in response, obviously also letting his imagination run wild with the opportunities this night might bring. 

You laughed as you caught him lost in thought. “I can always leave if you want him to yourself Baek.” 

Baekhyun raised a brow at you before smirking. “If that was something I was down for, why do I feel like you’d want to watch?” You blushed at the thought.

“Moving on.” You murmured. Why was your face so warm?

Your embarrassment was not missed by Baek. “Oh we are most definitely discussing that later.” He grinned. 

“I said moving on.” You repeated. That wasn’t something you were going to unpack right now but there was no denying that the image in your brain was anything other than hot. 

“Mmmhmm, for now.” He agreed. Baekhyun’s face took on an inquisitive expression as he asked. “Did he have someone else in mind or was I really his first choice for this?”

You nodded. “As far as he told me, which stretches back to before these lessons began, you were his choice.” The man across from you preened at this. “Don’t let it go to your head Baek.”

He smiled softly. “Bit hard not to, if I'm being honest.” Byun Baekhyun sounded genuinely flattered. For all of his bravado and confidence in all other areas of his life somehow Minseok choosing him made him coy? He then added. “I don’t know who I thought he’d pick, but I wasn’t expecting to be his first choice for something like this.”

You levelled your gaze at him. “You are literally the mood maker of the group. He trusts you to listen to him when he’s serious about something but also to keep any situation light hearted and not let things get awkward.” You paused, then shrugged. “If you think about it, you’re kind of the perfect choice for this.”

His small smile started to turn smug. “So many compliments for me in such a short time. You should stop feeding my ego noona.” He leant forward so his lips could brush your ear. “Especially after our earlier conversation.” You felt his hand glide over your waist, sending a shiver through your body. You were so responsive and ready for the night to proceed, certain that you’d fall apart quickly for them. “Whilst that particular activity was a very pleasant surprise - and came with a happy ending - I can’t honestly say I’m completely satisfied. I got to hear all the pretty noises you make for me but I didn’t get to touch you.” His hand gripped your waist as he spoke, his thumb rubbing small circles, the motion coupled with his words caused your breath to shudder.

“So many things I want to do to you noona,” Baekhyun leaned down, his soft lips peppering kisses on your shoulder, working his way up your neck. “I don’t know what I want more, to fuck you and have him watch.” His teeth grazed over your collarbone, sending even more shivers as you gasped aloud this time. “To watch him fuck you.” You felt him smile against your skin as he let out a soft chuckle as your body betrayed you with another shudder before he continued his path and kissed up your neck, “Or both of us take you at the same time, until you’re so fucked out you can’t form a single.” to your chin, “coherent.” then to your jaw. “thought.” He brought your face to his, locking your lips together in a searing, hunger filled kiss. Your hands moved to cup his cheeks as his grip on your waist pulled you closer towards him. 

“Baek,” You murmured through the haze of lust that was threatening to take over your senses. You were barely keeping your desire restrained and Baekhyun’s lips on your body and the words coming out of his mouth were in no way helping ground you for what was to come. You also didn’t want the first thing for Xiumin to see when he returned was that the two of you didn’t even wait for him before you got started. You could see the look of disapproval he’d give you and it was enough to break through the sinful feeling of Baekhyun’s lips and wandering hands on you. You pushed him with just enough force to separate yourself from him. “We need to wait. This is his reward, we can’t ruin it for him.”

He pouted at you, almost sulking. “Well hyung needs to hurry the fuck up then, because I want more of you.” 

You laughed softly. “Did you or did you not say less than ten minutes ago that you were good at taking direction? You’re sounding like a real brat right now.” 

“Shut up. I’m horny. My brain is like 85% not in use right now okay?” He made a point of shoving his hands under his thighs, basically sitting on them, in order to stop himself from reaching out to touch you.

You weren’t faring much better, holding on to your self control by tattered threads. You needed Xiumin to come back and take control of this whole situation before Baekhyun and you could no longer resist the temptation. “Yeah, well you aren’t the only horny one Baek.” You sighed. “But we need to control ourselves. You have no idea how nervous he’s been about discussing this. Without me slipping up I don’t know if he’d ever have actually discussed it with you.”

Baekhyun took a few deep breaths as he tried his best to put his lust in check and wait. He knew you were right, and that he also wanted this reward to be everything Minseok hoped it would be. He didn’t have to be happy about waiting though. “Fine,” he conceded at last. “We wait.”

Thankfully neither of you would have to wait much longer.

***

You could feel the shift in the air when he returned to the room. Minseok had taken time to calm himself, and you assumed, mentally prepared himself for the role he was about to play. The switch into his more dominant side was always fascinating to you. It was always there but when he turned it towards the bedroom it was just so damn sexy. The others got to see him tap into a sexy persona during choreo and take charge in certain situations but most of the time he was just their cute, nagging hyung. 

Sure, they’d all shared a living space for many years and had no doubt seen and heard everything more times than they wanted to count. There was no one who could convince you that if you placed a group of guys in their late teens to early twenties together that they were never caught masturbating or having sex by any of the others. But actively including one of those guys in your own sexual experiences? Now that was something you were less sure they had done - and if any had, clearly the two men you were currently with had not been involved. Regardless, it was happening tonight and you had a front row seat, or rather, you were on the stage with them, a very active and willing participant. 

Xiumin walked towards the two of you but didn't take a seat. Instead he picked up one of the arm chairs and moved it so that it was facing the end of the bed, then pushed it to the left until he was satisfied with the off centre view of the bed whoever sat in it would have. The new angle would definitely provide a better view of whatever happened on the bed. So he wanted someone to watch? He turned to face the two of you, motioning for you to move towards the bed. “Noona, please take a seat.” He gestured to the armchair, so you did as you were told and took a seat. He took a seat at the end of the bed, tapping the spot next to him for Baekhyun to follow suit.

Once Baekhyun was also seated he began to speak. Gone was the nervous wreck that was Minseok, replaced by the very self assured, confident and in control Xiumin who was ready to receive his reward. “Before we begin we need to go over some ground rules.” Both Baek and you nodded in agreement causing Xiu to chuckle. “Firstly, words are required. If you are asked a question, want something or are spoken to, I expect it to be conveyed verbally.” He paused as he waited for the two of you to realise that he was waiting for confirmation that you each understood him.

“Got it.” Baek replied. “Uh, do I have to call you anything in particular? Or can I stick with hyung?” He asked. 

“Hyung or a variation of Xiumin is fine for you to use Baek.” He replied. His eyes turned to you. “You, however, will refer to me as Xiumin, Xiu or Sir tonight. Am I clear?”

Instinctively you began to nod, catching yourself when he raised a brow at you. “Very clear Xiumin.” You replied, doing your best to mask the desire that was building in you again. You and Minseok had engaged in power play on more than one occasion, but most of the time it was simply him taking control as you lost yourself to pleasure. Xiumin was going to control what all of you got to experience tonight, and you could tell that if you didn’t do as you were told then you weren’t getting any relief. Your thighs rubbed together in anticipation.

“Secondly, we need to discuss how this will play out, everyone’s limits and a safe word.” He looked at each of you and smiled softly. “I think we start with each of your limits.”

Baekhyun smiled and gestured for you to go first. “Ok, well I guess as far as my own limits go, I don’t like extreme pain. Light stuff like restraints and spanking is fine but actual pain crosses the line for me. Uh, I’m also not ok with any bodily fluids that aren’t cum or saliva. Oh, and I’m not a fan of anal. I think that’s all?” There were probably more but as far as ones that might come into play tonight, those were all you could think of. 

Xiumin nodded. “Pity about the last one, but noted. Baek, what about you?”

Baek shrugged. “Uh honestly? Apart from the same bodily fluids thing as noona, I don’t think I have any. I will let you know if I’m not ok with anything as it happens - though I kind of doubt that I’ll have to.” 

You thought of one almost immediately and cocked your head as you spoke. “You don’t like degradation.” 

He nodded. “Oh yeah, I don’t like it, it’s not a hard limit for me but praise is far more effective for me.” He thought hard for a few more moments before deciding that no, there were no other limits he thought needed mentioning. “What about you hyung?”

Xiumin didn’t miss a beat. “I have a few but I think the only relevant ones for tonight are degradation and causing actual pain. If I hurt either of you, you need to tell me immediately. I wouldn’t forgive myself if I caused you pain without any pleasure. I like to play rough but not at the expense of the other person, or in this case, people’s enjoyment.” He sighed. “But essentially, that’s all for me.” He looked at each of you earnestly as he summarised. “Ok so no inflicting pain, no degradation and no anal for noona. All of that should be easy enough to work around.”

Baekhyun raised his hand. You choked back a laugh as Xiumin raised one brow at him. “Yes Baek?” 

“I still have questions.” He said.

“Of course you do.” Xiumin sighed. “Go ahead and ask then.” Baekhyun’s eyes lit up but before he could utter a word Xiumin added on with some exasperation. “Don’t make me regret this.”

Baek shook his head. “It’s nothing strange, just how will this work? Are we going with the flow or are you telling us what to do? If you’re telling us what to do, can we also make suggestions? Are we fucking her at the same time, one after the other, is there anything that’s off the table for you? Is -” He stopped speaking when Xiumin held up a hand.

“Ok that’s all the questions you get to ask. What was that, seven in like 5 seconds? I was getting to all of this you impatient fuck.” He shook his head, trust Baek to always find a way to test his patience. “To answer pretty much all of it, I like being in control so I’ll tell you what to do in a broad sense, and you’ll do that until I give further instructions. You can make suggestions but I reserve the right to deny said requests.” Baek nodded, remembering at the last second to verbalise his understanding. Xiumin acknowledged him then  turned his head and locked eyes with you. “Any questions before we begin?” 

“No.” You replied. 

He stared at you, as if he was waiting for you to say something else, but for the life of you, you couldn’t think of what that was. He shook his head ever so slightly then spoke. “No?”

You paused. You’d forgotten something, but what was it? He wanted you to speak in response to him rather than rely on non verbal cues. You’d done that, so what else was there? You could feel his eyes on you as he waited for you to reply again. You glanced at Baek, hoping he would provide insight into what you’d missed but all he did was give you a little salute. Weird. Why would he be saluting you? There was no context for that, and even as strange as his gestures could be at times, they always fitted in contextually with what was going on. Oh. OH. You realised 5 seconds later than it should have taken you to. Xiumin told you to refer to him in specific ways tonight. You returned your eyes to his expectant gaze. “No sir.”

It seemed to do the trick, as you saw him let out a breath that you weren’t aware he’d been holding. “That’s more like it.” He licked his lips, his eyes flitting between yours and your lips. The desire he was holding back was evident, but as the three of you stood on the precipice of beginning this thing, you could see the fire building in him. This was his fantasy, and he was about to make it a reality. After months and months of build up, and weeks of him fearing he’d be rejected for even suggesting it, it was happening, he just had to take the final step over the precipice and set everything in motion. You couldn’t help but smile at him as you waited for him to give the first instruction, knowing he was having one final internal debate about the entire thing, and probably on some level fretting about the cleanup afterwards. 

You didn’t want to be disobedient but if he took too long to get things going you weren’t sure you’d be able to stop yourself from throwing yourself at him. It had been too long since you’d felt his lips on yours. He took a deep breath, squared his shoulders and took the leap. “Baek, I want you to move up to the other end of the bed and sit against the headboard.”

“Ok hyung.” He replied eagerly. “Clothes on or off at this stage?”

“Leave them on for now.” He replied. Baek obeyed, pushed himself to the other end of the bed and leant against the headboard as instructed. He looked comfortable, but the desire in his eyes told you he was desperate to touch you, or himself. He spread his legs and smirked at you, your joke about his manspreading replaying in your mind. You failed to keep the small laugh in. Xiumin looked at you then at Baek and sighed. “What?” He asked.

A look of apprehension appeared on his face and you wanted to squash any growing doubts immediately. Of course you laughed at the worst time, right as he decided to start his rewards. Naturally he now thought the two of you were mocking him, which was absolutely not the case. “I once made an observation about Baek’s chronic manspreading. His reply was that there was a lot of room for activities between his thighs.” You explained. Relief and annoyance flooded him. 

Baek scoffed. “That particular observation was made via text, in a room full of staff and you guys on the day of a concert.”

Xiumin sighed to himself. “Oh my god, you are both such brats.” He reached forward and grabbed your hand gently, tugging you toward the bed. “Baby, go sit between his legs, with your back facing him.” 

You placed a chaste kiss on his hand as you stood. “Can I offer a suggestion hyung?” Baek asked as you moved on the bed towards him.

“Go ahead.” He replied.

You felt Baek’s chest against your back as you leant back against him. “She should place her legs over mine, leaving you sufficient room,” He smirked. “For activities.” 

Xiumin shook his head as a laugh escaped him. “You know what, terrible joke aside, that’s a good idea.” He nodded at you. “Baby, do as Baek suggested.” You couldn’t help the blush as you did as you were told. You felt exposed, even though you were still fully clothed. Xiumin sat back and looked at the two of you, taking in the sight before him, his eyes practically shining as he did so. Baek hadn’t touched you since Xiumin had entered the room. He was behaving and doing as he was told, a rare sight to behold. His eyes travelled down your body, satisfied with how you were spread open for him, unable to close your legs when he got closer. 

Xiumin swallowed thickly as he crawled up the bed towards the two of you. He made his way into the space left for him between your legs. Once there he hooked a finger under your chin as he guided your face closer to his. He absentmindedly parted his lips the closer you got to him. You licked yours in response. You heard Baek suck in a breath when Xiumin leaned in, capturing your lips in a soft but sure kiss. You felt your body relax at the familiar feeling of his lips on yours. You sighed into it, your hands moving up to cup behind Xiumin’s neck and pull him forward, closer to you. He allowed you to control the kiss for a moment before pushing you as far back as he could without losing his balance. You could feel Baekhyun breathing erratically behind you, unable to do anything but watch as you and Xiumin made out. The kiss had started soft as the two of you got reacquainted with each other but it was rapidly growing more passionate as your tongues collided with each other.

“Fuck.” You heard Baek murmur from behind you. You felt an unmistakable hardness forming against the small of your back as the kiss grew more heated. You moaned into Xiumin’s mouth as he pulled your bottom lip between his teeth and bit. He pulled back to survey his work, taking in your dilated pupils and flushed face. 

“That gone after one kiss?” He remarked, though not entirely faring much better himself. “How wrecked are you going to look after Baek has his turn?” You tried to respond but all of the pent up desire from the day chose to flood your system. All you could feel was your desire for each of them and the fact that at that exact moment, no one was touching you. A whimper escaped you, making Xiumin chuckle. “You want Baek to kiss you baby?”

“Please.” You sounded far more desperate than you wanted to, but you needed it. It was difficult to describe the feelings you were experiencing but the overwhelming desire was clouding everything in its path. Logic and reason were locked away for the night, and you were going to indulge in Xiumin’s fantasy and love every moment of it. As long as someone touched you, right away. Otherwise you felt like you might implode. “Xiu please,”

“Go on Baek, give her what she wants.” He instructed, his eyes never leaving yours. Baek didn’t need to be told twice. You felt the soft press of his lips on your neck which made your eyes flutter as you gasped. You felt Baek smile against your skin as he continued peppering kisses along your neck and jaw before his hand turned your face towards his so he could capture your lips in a searing kiss. His other hand held you firmly against him as the two of you made out. Xiumin took advantage of your neck being bared to him and, not to be outdone by Baek, began peppering it with kisses. You let out a soft moan, and it was as if the tension in the room snapped, taking everyone’s restraint with it. You felt Baekhyun pressing against you as his body sought out any friction he could get, at the same time Xiumin’s soft kisses to your neck became deeper. Every time you felt the scrape of his teeth on your neck you moaned, each one louder than the last. 

Baekhyun noticed what his hyung was doing and took the opportunity to short circuit your brain by doing the exact same thing as Xiumin was. The feeling of having your neck ravished by both men was making you light headed. You were pretty sure that Baek was leaving marks all over the expanse of your neck. The previous marks he’d left had only just faded, not that you cared one bit in that moment. It was nothing an oversized scarf and hoodie couldn’t cover. 

Both men managed to detach themselves from you long enough for Xiumin to utter “Help me strip her.” Baek removed all the clothing on your upper body while he removed your pants, leaving you in just your panties while they were still fully clothed. 

Xiumin scowled at the dark hickey on your hip - the one that had yet to fade, asking who left that mark on you. “That would be me hyung.” Baek replied, “I couldn’t help myself.” He shrugged. He might not have noticed the way Xiumin’s jaw clenched as he stared at the mark, but you sure had, even through the haze of lust clouding your mind. He wasn’t the jealous type but something about them was making him tense. It was on your hip, hidden by clothing but for anyone who got you undressed enough to see it, it was left as a clear reminder of who had been there before them. Of who had claimed you as theirs.

You moved your hand up to cup his jaw softly. His sharp eyes, darkened with lust and something else, something carnal, lifted to yours, and stared at you. “Xiumin, are you jealous that he left marks there?” His gaze swirled with something dangerous, but not dangerous enough to deter you. 

“Careful.” He murmured. His piercing gaze made you feel like prey about to be devoured. Something you were absolutely not against. You steeled your resolve, wanting to make him let loose like you knew he could. If you pushed him just the right amount, he’d forget every insecurity he had about this reward and lose himself to dominating everyone's pleasure. You’d never regretted it in the past so you figured giving him that little push now would result in you getting fucked within an inch of your life before the night was over.

You leant forward, until your mouth ghosted his ear as you whispered. “Would you like to leave your own marks on me Sir?” You heard the hitch in his breath as you spoke. “I’d love it if you left your mark on me. Every time I see it I’d be reminded of exactly what you did to me.” You pulled back, kissing the corner of his lips as you settled back against Baekhyun’s body. From deep within his throat, it sounded like Xiumin growled.

“Hold her hands behind her back. Both of you are going to sit there and watch,” He rasped. “And you,” he said as his eyes locked back onto yours. “Will not cum until I allow you to.” 

“Yes, Sir.” You replied as Baekhyun pulled your hands behind your back and held them in place. 

Xiumin kissed you harshly, the force of him pushing you further back into Baekhyun. You had to arch your back slightly to remain as comfortable as you could in his hold. He broke the kiss and began his descent down your body. He took your request to heart, nipping and sucking your flesh as he moved from your mouth, to your neck, your chest, and stomach before settling between your thighs. Your head was becoming fuzzy from the stimulation, and your body was responding in kind. You could feel the heat running from your neck, down through your chest and settling in your stomach. You weren’t going to be able to look in a mirror and not think of Xiumin for weeks at this rate. 

Your body felt like a live wire. If no one touched you properly soon, you might just cry from how turned on you were. Xiumin’s eyes connected with Baekhyun’s as he clamped his jaw onto your upper thigh, and sucked hard. Baekhyun’s breath hitched and you felt him roll his hips against your lower back, his now hard length grazing your hands. You moaned loudly at the sensation. These two were going to be the death of you tonight, you were this far gone and you’d barely even begun. 

“Look at you, soaking through your panties. We haven’t even touched you properly yet.” He licked his lips as he hooked your legs back over Baekhyun’s, spreading you wide for him. You whimpered, so turned on and desperate for one of them to touch you where you needed it. Xiumin was an excruciatingly patient man though, you knew this as a fact. He would touch you when he was good and ready, and not a moment before that. He probably wanted to get you so worked up that you cried when he finally did give you what you wanted. “Does noona want me to touch her?” He asked condescendingly. Without waiting for your answer he pressed a finger over your clothed pussy, rubbing the digit over the wet spot of your soaked panties. You gasped at the feeling, your hands grasping behind your back, not realising until he whimpered in your ear that you’d palmed Baek’s hard length. Xiumin smirked up at both of you. “I honestly can’t tell if I’m about to ruin both of you or if you’re about to ruin me.” 

“Hyung.” Baekhyun sounded breathless as he stared down at Xiumin between your legs, the elder toying with your panties as he drew out whines from you. Unbeknownst to him, every time he drew a whine from you, your hand clenched around Baekhyun’s cock. Baekhyun’s eyes were beginning to glaze over with want. He was doing everything in his power to not run his mouth or rut up into your hands. “Hyung please, god, please touch her.” 

Xiumin gave him a shit eating grin as he continued playing with your clothed pussy, the fabric now completely soaked through as it all but stuck to you. “I thought I was touching her.” He leant forward and licked a stripe up your ruined panties, making you moan desperately. “See how responsive she is to my touches?”

“Please,” You all but sobbed. “Please, I need more.” Your chest heaved as you tried to regulate your breathing. You felt trapped between their two bodies, your own screaming with desire. “Sir, please.” 

Apparently your near broken plea coupled with calling him Sir was all it took for Xiumin to crack. His control wavered, his patience almost lost as he ripped your panties off of you. You barely even registered the fabric tearing. His eyes floated down, taking in the soaking mess in between your legs. “You’re so fucking wet noona, just for us.” He licked his lips, that devilish smile back. You didn’t have time to breathe before he moved forward, his tongue licking a thick stripe through your folds. His voice deepened with a moan. “You taste so fucking good.” His hot breath joined in the sensational overload as his tongue ran over your clit, brushing little strokes of varying pressure and sending little shocks through your core and up your spine. “You always taste so fucking good.” He murmured against you, the vibrations sending jolts of pleasure through you. “Could eat you out all day, shit.”

Words failed you when he addressed Baek. “Doesn’t she taste divine?” His face still buried in your folds, teasing you with his skillful tongue.

Baekhyun hummed as he rolled his hips into your hand, unable to stop himself from seeking the friction. “Always hyung.” He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight of Xiumin all but making out with your pussy. “Makes it hard to stop eating her out.” He groaned as you flattened your palm against the head of his cock. It wasn’t enough, the layers of clothing separating you from him prevented the pleasure from feeling anything but teasing. Still it was better than nothing.

“You’re not wrong. I could stay here for hours.” Xiumin replied. You cried out as his tongue entered your needy hole, lapping at your juices, and you clenched around the muscle. He ate you out like a man starved. He latched onto your clit and sucked while his skilled tongue flicked over it with desperate movements. You knew it wouldn’t take you long to reach your peak, not with all the anticipation and teasing that had led to this point. You felt your legs tremble as your orgasm built inside you. But you weren’t allowed to cum yet, Xiumin hadn’t said you could. You didn’t know how you could possibly stop yourself from teetering over the edge but you tried your best to last as long as you could for him. You didn’t want to disobey him today, you wanted to be good for him. 

The two of you had dabbled in having him be a brat tamer before, and whilst that was a very very fond memory, it was not fitting for today. His low voice pulled you from your thoughts. “Are you ok baby?” The pressure within you was mounting and your body shook from every flick of his tongue over your clit. You couldn’t speak, as much as you wanted to, all you could do was let out broken moans as Xiumin brought you closer and closer to your peak. A peak you didn’t want to cross without being given permission to. 

Baek answered for you. “I think she wants to cum hyung. She’s practically vibrating against me.” He was enthralled with watching you fall apart on another man’s tongue, a sight he didn’t think he’d ever erase from his memory, but he wanted to keep things moving as he grew more and more desperate to be actively involved. “She’s done so well for us so far, and I can’t lie hyung. I think it’ll be really fucking hot to watch her cum all over your face.” 

Xiumin had to pause at Baekhyun’s brazenness. He’d expected the dirty talk to extend to you but was rapidly finding out that the filthy exchanges they were having were only turning him on more. “Well, when you put it like that, how could I resist?” He replied. He gave you no notice as he closed his mouth over your clit, taking it between his teeth and sucked hard, the pressure that had been building exploded as your orgasm slammed into you. The force of it knocked the air from you, a loud and desperate moan left your lips, your legs shook from the intensity of it. He massaged your legs, gently lapping at your pussy while you came down. Your body twitched with the residual aftershocks he continued to draw from you with every swipe of his tongue.

As you recovered from your intense high you felt the soft press of Baekhyun’s lips on your neck. You shivered at the sensation, coupled with Xiumin rubbing his hands over your thighs, up to your waist and back down in a soothing motion. Your breathing was still laboured as you opened your eyes only to find Xiumin staring up at you, his mouth and chin glistening with your juices as he stopped overstimulating you. His gaze was still intense as he watched Baekhyun continue to leave little butterfly kisses along your neck, causing your body to shiver with need. 

Your movement did not go unnoticed by Xiumin, who chuckled. “You still need more huh? Nearly passed out from your first orgasm but you already want more don’t you?” 

Baekhyun smirked against your neck. “Noona, so needy for us. Was hyungs mouth not enough to fully satisfy you? Do you need something to fill you up?” He brought his hands to your breasts and tweaked your nipples as he sucked another mark into your neck.

You cried out. “God, yes. Please.” There was no denying that the orgasm Xiumin had just coaxed from you was mind blowing. Despite that, you could feel your pussy clenching around nothing. You needed more, needed something inside you.

“All in good time, can’t have you being selfish and getting all the pleasure now can we?” Xiumin said. “I think it’s time you did something for us.” He continued, as he stood from the bed and pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his toned torso to you. “To show that you deserve what we can give you.” He crooked his fingers and beckoned you to come to him. You leant forward and crawled towards him, removing yourself from Baek’s reach. Behind you Baekhyun bit his bottom lip as he watched your naked form move away from him. 

You popped the button on his jeans and slowly unzipped his pants, his bulge tenting his underwear. He let out a soft grunt as you let your hand roam over his underwear. “Do not fucking tease me right now. You know better than that baby.” You smiled to yourself as memories flooded you, the times you had pushed his patience over the edge, of how roughly he took you, not letting you cum until you were a mess of tears, begging him for your release. But tonight, you were going to do as you were told, even though it was becoming evident that your bratty side wanted to play. You were doing your best to keep her in check. You pulled his pants and underwear down, letting them pool at his ankles, his cock slapped against his stomach as it was finally freed from the confines of his clothing, your mouth watered at the sight. You looked up at him and he raised a brow at you. “Why don’t you show our Baekhyun how well you suck cock?” You said. Heat flooded you at the thought of being watched while you had another man’s cock in your mouth. 

He lifted his head and made eye contact with the younger, very horny man behind you. “And Baek, be a good boy and strip. You’re only allowed to watch now, no touching yourself.” You heard Baekhyun whine behind you, the poor guy was needy. He’d been rutting his hips into your lower back and hands for friction just moments ago and now he had to sit and watch, and wasn’t even allowed to relieve some of the tension he was clearly feeling. 

“Do not make me wait noona.” Xiumin’s commanding tone brought you back to the present. He was hard, very hard. You didn’t want to tease but you also didn’t want to rush this so you slowly spread the precum over his cock, running your fingers up his shaft, around the head, and down again. Xiumin opened his mouth to scold you for teasing him but his words were replaced by a groan of pleasure as you wrapped your fingers around his length and started moving your hand up and down, varying the pressure as you pumped his cock. “Fuck,” He all but whispered. 

He was always so responsive to your touches, so much so that it only spurred you on. You wanted, no needed to taste him. Part of you also wanted to ruin Baekhyun by making him such a horny mess that he might just cum untouched from watching you and Xiumin. You licked the tip of his swollen cock before bringing your lips to it and sucking softly. Xiumin let out a gasp, his hips bucking involuntarily as you finally took him into your mouth. You moved slowly, relishing in the feel of him in your mouth, filling it up. You blinked your eyes slowly as you gazed up at him as your mouth enveloped his cock. A sheen of sweat covered his forehead as he stared back at you through heavily lidded eyes.

He praised with a rough voice, as his fingers gripped your hair. “That’s right, baby, just like that. You look so good with my cock stuffed in your mouth.” You didn’t break eye contact as you moved down his length, curling one hand around his base as you bobbed your head, taking more of him in each time you made your descent. You flattened your tongue against the underside of his cock and felt his hands hold your head in a vice grip as his resolve started to wane, a deep groan emitting from his throat. He let his head roll back, his breathing growing erratic as short pants mixed with small groans flow out of his mouth.

He held your head in place as he rolled his hips into you, fucking into your mouth. His first strokes were slow and languid, letting you get used to the fullness in you, but he soon began pushing further and further. His cock started hitting the back of your throat, and on one deep thrust he had your nose pressed up against him as he bottomed out. He held it there for a few seconds. “Fucking hell. Look at you, taking me all the way. You love this don’t you? Choking on my cock in front of another man.” You shivered, as you felt your arousal leak from you. You hadn’t expected to be this turned on from just sucking his cock but you felt light you were on fire with need. You wanted to be used by them so thoroughly that you couldn’t move at the end of the night. 

You let yourself relax around him, trusting yourself in his hands, after all Xiumin had never once hurt you. He’d been the one you’d played the roughest with but he’d always taken care of you. When he felt you relax he began thrusting again, this time his strokes were getting faster, but still just as deep. “Love fucking your face noona, you, shit, you feel so good.” You struggled to hold yourself up as he used you, his hand in your hair the only anchor holding you up as you became a puppet for his use.

You knew he was approaching his climax when he began to move with less concern for the wellbeing of your throat, gagging you with his cock every few thrusts. You did your best to keep your jaw slack, as your throat was being rubbed raw, drool and precum fell down your chin in streams. “So messy, fuck, look at you. I’m almost there baby, you can take a bit more.” You moved your spare hand to massage his balls, rolling them in your palm as he thrusted into your mouth. Your action makes him groan louder than before, needier too. Your thighs clenched together, desperate in your need for friction. But you were being good, you didn’t touch or move. You choked a few times, tears falling down your cheeks to mix with the other fluids on your chin as he came. “Such a good girl for me, took me so well, let me use you to get off.” He stroked your face gently, wiping the tears away as he smiled down at you. “Wasn’t she such a good girl Baek?” He asked.

“Fuck, yes hyung, she was.” Baekhyun’s reply was strained with desire. 

“Did you touch yourself Baek?” He asked bluntly. You turned to look at him and felt a jolt through your core at just how wrecked he looked. He was breathing heavily, his chest flushed as his hands had a death grip on the sheets to stop him from touching himself. He looked so painfully hard, his rigid cock practically weeping with pre cum, twitching with need, it was so messy, and you knew how he loved it messy.

Baekhyun shook his head. “N-no. Fuck if you could see how much wetter she got from you throat fucking her hyung, my god. Please, let her touch me or let me touch myself I’m fucking dying over here.” You felt heat wash over you as you clenched around nothing. You should have felt some type of shame about how lewdly they were talking about you but you didn’t. You trusted these two men with your entire being and knew that they would never speak ill of you. Plus you were a little too fucked out to care.

Xiumin caught you staring at Baekhyun and smiled. “Baby, why don’t you treat him to your filthy mouth?” He gave you a little push to set you in motion as you crawled between Baekhyun’s legs. “Holy fuck, you weren’t wrong Baek. She is so fucking wet.” You turned your head to look back at Xiumin, who was now kneeling on the bed as he stared between your legs. His eyes flicked up to yours understanding what you wanted. “If you’re good I’ll give you what you want.” He gave your ass a light tap to direct your attention back to Baek.

“Please don’t tease me noona.” Baekhyun whimpered as you slowly grasped his length in your hand.

“You don’t want me to take my time with you?” You asked playfully. Baekhyun was always putty in your hands when it came to having his cock in your mouth. He got too eager, enjoyed it too much and never lasted that long. You guessed tonight would be no different especially since he’d had to watch you and not relieve himself while doing so. 

“Fuck. No. I’m just too fucking horny to endure it.” You heard the need in his voice, the normally even tone pitching up slightly as he tried to hold himself together. “I’m doing my best to not grab your head and shove my cock in your mouth right now. Watching you with hyung, holy fuck it was so hot, I don’t know if I’m going to last very long after watching him rail your throat.” He panted.

“I’ll make you feel good Baek, I promise.” You said. He let his head fall back against the headboard as you took the head of his cock into your mouth and sucked gently. He moaned loudly at finally being touched, his eyes wide with pleasure.

“Hyung, can - fuck - can I touch her?” He sounded so broken as he tried to speak, his breath hitching every time you moved your tongue around his swollen head.

You felt Xiumin shift on the bed until he was kneeling behind you. He rubbed his hand down your spine as you took Baekhyun into your mouth once more. “You may.” Baekhyun gripped your hair as he watched his cock disappear into your mouth. You shuddered when you felt Xiumin’s fingers drag through your slick folds. “Noona, you are so fucking wet. Does it turn you on this much to be with two men?” 

You lifted your head from Baekhyun’s cock, much to his disdain. “Yes, fuck” you rasped, your throat raw from the abuse Xiumin had inflicted upon it. “Sir, please touch me.” 

“Why should I?” He teased as one finger circled your clit.

You moaned loudly. “I’ve been so good.” 

“Do you want your noona to suck your cock Baekhyun?” Xiumin said as you lowered yourself back towards his cock. You stared into his fucked out eyes and waited for him to respond. He nodded and you shifted down, placing a kitten lick to the tip of his leaking cock, causing him to whimper at the feeling. You don’t break eye contact with him as Xiumin spoke again. “You want your noona to suck your thick cock and make you fall apart while your hyung stuffs noona with his fingers?”

Baekhyun’s eyes almost rolled in the back of his head as Xiumin spoke, his hips bucking up towards you with need. “Jesusfuckingchrist hyung, holy shit, yes. Yes I want that. Please.”

Xiumin waited for you to take Baekhyun back into your mouth before he plunged two fingers into your aching pussy. You moaned around Baekhyun’s cock at the feeling, finally being touched and having your mouth filled at the same time. You swirled your tongue on the underside of his cock as you took more of him in, finding your rhythm so you could rock back onto Xiumin’s fingers and forward onto Baekhyun’s cock. 

You ran your nails down his thighs as you let your jaw relax, allowing Baekhyun to begin thrusting up into it. “Holy shit this is hot, you should see yourself noona, gonna make you choke on my cock while hyung makes you cum on his fingers.”

“You liked that didn’t you?” Xiumin remarked. “I felt you clench around me, you needy little thing. If you want to cum then you’d better hold still and let us use you.” Your eyes widened as you clenched around his fingers again.

Baekhyun began to fuck your throat as you held yourself in position, your hands gripping his thighs. You moaned around his cock as you felt Xiumin's hand match the pace Baekhyun was setting. They were both entering you at the same time, you’d never felt so full. The pressure was building within you at an alarming pace and you knew you’d snap if they kept up this momentum. Baekhyun’s moans became higher pitched and more frequent as he started to really enjoy the feeling of your throat sucking him in every time he fucked into it. The vibrations from your moans were only adding to the pleasure he was feeling. “Fuck, I’m close.” He panted.

Xiumin removed his fingers from you. You whined at the loss only to let out a strangled cry as he began to vigorously circle and tap your clit. “Then cum. Both of you.” Both of you came undone at his words, your orgasm slamming into you as Baekhyun thrusted once more and held himself in your throat as he came while you writhed against Xiumin’s relentless fingers, tears streaming down your face at the combination of choking on Baekhyun’s cock and being overstimulated by Xiumin. 

You pulled off Baekhyun as you tried to get away from Xiumin’s relentless fingers. “Xiu please, I need a minute. Too sensitive.” You whined. He acquiesced and released you from his wandering hands. 

Baekhyun was immobile, his chest heaving as he recovered from his own high. He somehow looked even more fucked out than he had before. “Holy shit.” He said to himself. 

Xiumin pulled him from his daze by telling him to move to the chair at the end of the bed and watch. Baekhyun stood on slightly wobbly legs, walked over and threw himself down on the comfy chair facing the bed, leant back and got as comfortable as a naked man could in a hotel chair, as his eyes roamed over the bed as they sought you out. “I know this is your reward hyung but I feel like we’re all reaping this reward.” He grinned. 

He had a moment where the facade cracked and you saw the excitement in Xiumin’s eyes as he took a beat to take in that he was actually experiencing one of his largest fantasies right now. Not only that, but it was going well. He only let that slip last for a second before he was back, moving to sit in the position Baekhyun had been in on the bed. You stared at him as you waited for him to tell you where he wanted you. He was lazily stroking his hard length as he let his eyes roam over your body. “Come here noona.” You made your way over to him, and climbed onto his lap.

“Are you enjoying your reward Xiu?” You asked softly as you wrapped your arms around his neck. 

He let his forehead fall forward and press against yours. “It is everything I imagined and more. Thank you for helping make it happen.” He smiled genuinely at you, that beautiful gummy smile that you adored, before he kissed you. He let his hands run over your shoulders, ghosting past your breasts, running down the sides of your waist so gently it made you shiver, before coming to rest on your hips, kneading the skin there as he deepened the kiss. He sighed into you, pressing his lips down harder, hungrier. You gasped into his mouth as he pulled your hips against his cock. “Turn around. Want you to ride me while facing him. Make him watch you fuck yourself on my cock. You’ll ruin him, and I’ll get to watch your ass bounce on my cock so we both win.” Xiumin gave you another one of his annoying little smirks. 

You gave him one more heat filled kiss before you turned in his lap. Baekhyun’s eyes widened as he figured out what was happening, his hands gripping his thighs in anticipation. You didn’t have much time to focus on the look on his face because Xiumin suddenly dipped his finger into your sopping entrance, using your juices to coat his cock. You let out a shaky moan as he moved you into position and waited for you to begin. He let you know you were taking too long by delivering a swift smack to you ass, which caught you by surprise as you cried out.

Slowly you lifted yourself up, aligned his cock with your core and sunk down to the hilt. You both moaned out at the feeling of your wet, hot walls moulding around him and pulling him in. You stayed like that for a second, head thrown back and nails digging into his thighs as you got used to the stretch. “Fuuuuck, that’s hot.” You heard Baekhyun groan. You locked eyes with him as you started to move, setting a steady pace to begin with as you relished in the feel of Xiumin’s cock hitting you in all the right places from this angle. Xiumin’s hands rubbed up and down your sides as he helped guide you up and down on his length. He threw his head back in pleasure at how deep you were taking him.

Baekhyun couldn’t help himself any more as he was hard again. The sight of you bouncing on Xiumin’s cock, your tits bouncing, the sounds you were making, all of it was too much. He wrapped his fingers around himself and squeezed hard. He bit back a moan, as his head tipped back as the relief of his own touch spread through his body and pre cum leaked from his tip. You moaned at the sight of him touching himself as you fucked yourself on Xiumin’s cock, quickening your pace. You heard Xiumin moaning and cursing behind you as your pace became increasingly desperate. 

“Hyung,” Baekhyun’s voice was strained with need.

“Wh-fuck, what?” He grunted.

“How does she feel?”

“She feels amazing, fucking herself on me so good.” He moaned as you changed the angle of your pelvis, desperate to feel him hit that specific spot inside you. “Our baby is desperate to get off aren’t you?”

“I can’t, Xiu-” You cried out. 

“Baek, get up and kneel in front of her.” He said as he pushed you off his cock, moving you onto all fours. “Baby, think you can take both of us at the same time? One fucking this pretty pussy and one using that skilled mouth of yours?”

You whimpered at his question, too overwhelmed with the prospect of being filled so wonderfully by them that you forgot to answer. “All you need to do is say yes, baby.” He said. “But I will not do anything until you tell me how much you want it.” He slowly dragged his cock through your folds.

“Yes, oh god, yes, please sir, I need it.” When he didn’t move a muscle you tried again. “Xiumin, please.”  

“Sorry baby, I was just savouring my fantasy. Trust me, we want nothing more than to give you exactly what you need.” He entered you in one thrust, bottoming out with a grunt. Your hands grasped onto Baekhyun’’s arm for dear life as your body went rigid. A loud moan and gasp left your lips and when Baekhyun grabbed your jaw and brought his cock to your lips an honest to god whine came out. You were completely lost to their ministrations, theirs to use as they saw fit. As long as you came you didn’t care what they did. Baekhyun pressed his length into your mouth and began to thrust into your mouth at the same pace that Xiumin pounded into you from behind. You had never felt so full in your life.

"Look so good with our cocks inside you, noona," Baekhyun praised, his voice huskier than you’d ever heard it before, which made you clench around Xiumin, who let out a loud moan.

"Fuck, yeah," he breathed, as he snapped his hips into you even harder, working himself in and out of your pussy. "Keep talking to her like that, Baek," he grunted the younger man, "Her sweet little pussy's tightening up so fucking perfectly."

"You like when I talk dirty to you don’t you noona?" He teased as he fisted your hair into a makeshift ponytail as he matched Xiumin’s new pace. “Noona is just greedy and cock-hungry for us aren’t you? You like having hyung and I inside those needy holes of yours don’t you?" You could barely think straight as one cock entered you the other pulled back, alternating their thrusts to ensure there was never not a cock filling you.

You moaned in agreement around his cock as you let them stuff you full, telling you exactly how you felt around them and how good you’re being for them. Xiumin’s cock brushed against that spot inside you that made you cry out in pleasure, the sound muffled by Baekhyun’s cock filling your mouth. Your thighs shook as Xiumin brought you to another climax. You felt Baekhyun pull out of your mouth as he watched you fall apart on Xiumin’s cock. He kept thrusting into you as he chased his own high, his pace somehow becoming harder and faster. “Fuck noona, you’re sucking me back in. Your tight pussy is taking me so well. FUCK.” He snapped his hips into you at a brutal pace, his hands gripped your hips hard enough to leave bruises.

“You’re gonna let Baek fuck you as soon as I’m done with you. He’s been so patient, waiting to fucking ruin you on his cock.” He groaned as his pace grew erratic, a clear sign that he was going to cum soon.

“Yes Xiu, I’ll let him fuck me. He can fuck your cum back into me.” You moaned, the overstimulation beginning to turn into pleasure once more. “Please Xiu, want you to cum inside, want you to fill me up.” He growled as he thrusted into you once more as he came inside you. He held himself in you as he panted, trying to catch his breath and come back down from his dizzying high.

“Baek, your turn.” He said as he pulled out of you and flipped you on your back. His hair was stuck to his face from the exertion of fucking you. He looked spent as he moved to your side and leant down to kiss you passionately. “You look so fucking hot noona, being so good for us.” He whispered in between kisses.

Baekhyun moved so that he was between your legs and groaned at the sight before him. “Oh baby, you have no idea how much I want to wreck you now.” His first thrust was deep and slow, moving with purpose as he enjoyed the feel of being inside you. “You look so filthy with hyung’s cum dripping out of you. You wanted me to fuck it back into you?” The next thrust had more force behind it and you felt him. Your head fell back as he fucked you, his grunts and moans increasing in volume. 

His hair stuck to his forehead from the exertion, his eyes alternating their focus from your face to watching his cock disappear into your pussy. He leant forward, effectively folding you in half as he sped up, his thrusts becoming more erratic. “Fuck, how are you this hot? I am not going to last long baby.”

“Shit, me either Baek.” You moaned as Xiumin moved from kissing your lips to your neck, down your chest until his mouth attached to your nipple. He used his hands to massage your breasts as his tongue laved at your nipples. He watched you intently as you cried out for them both to keep touching and fucking you. “Oh fuck, I’m gonna, Baek, I’m gonna cum.”

Baekhyun picked up his pace, slamming into you with vigour as you clamped down on his cock, milking him for all he was worth, your final orgasm of the night hitting you so hard that you almost blacked out. You felt utterly spent, in the best way, but you could do very little as the two men praised you, Baekhyun carrying you to the bathroom to clean you both up while Xiumin went to his room to steal the sheets from the bed. It didn’t matter how spent he was, he’d rather die before sleeping on cum stained sheets. When they’d finished cleaning you up all three of you fell into your bed together, a tangled mess of limbs. You had one man on either side of you. The two that had started this whole thing. 

“Well that was better than my drunk texts.” You murmured. Both men burst into laughter on either side of you. 

Silence settled over the room again as you all began to give in to the call of sleep, comfy, clean and warm. Baekhyun hummed. “I wish you’d had that cheerleader outfit with you.”

“Shut the fuck up.” You replied with a laugh.

“No, he’s onto something there.” Minseok reasoned as he giggled. “That outfit was really hot. Do you still own it?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at them, even though you wanted to sound pissed off. “I hate both of you, and if my legs worked I’d get up and leave this room right now.”

“Hyung high five, we broke her.” Baekhyun continued laughing.

“Shut up!” Both you and Minseok yelled happily.

You let your laughs die down as you snuggled into each other, exhausted both physically and mentally. You realised now that all the rewards had been completed. You’d think on what that meant moving forward later. Right now you just wanted to pass out, and maybe wake up to some continued fun, but you’d understand if Minseok considered the threesome request completed now.

Minseok chose that moment to speak up. “Thank you both for this. It’s uh, it’s weird to thank you for it but you know, it feels necessary. But I’m glad it was the two of you.” Minseok was doing his best to stay awake long enough to thank you both, something he really didn't need to do.

“Talk later, sleep now.” You mumbled as you felt yourself succumb to post coital exhaustion.

A/N: Um so yeah, that happened. Did the smut get away from me? Yes. Are we ok? Can I hand out fans and refreshments to any of you? Real talk, thank you for reading and sticking with me over the insanely long time it's taken to write this fic. I'd love to hear who you want her to end up with, I've got 3 endings penned and I'm still picking which one feels right so your feedback would help :)

Masterpost | Chapter 46 | Chapter 48 (coming soon)

[alexandraisyes]

i’ve been thinking about dark sun for a while now so i’m dropping my thoughts into your ask box

when dark sun was first introduced i took ONE look at that mf and went “this man is def schizoid.”

i’m gonna dump the dsm criteria for szpd in here real quick

DSM-5 Criteria

- A pervasive pattern of detachment from social relationships and a restricted range of expression of emotions in interpersonal settings, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:

1. Neither desires nor enjoys close relationships, including being part of a family.

2. Almost always chooses solitary activities.

3. Has little, if any, interest in having intimate experiences with another person. (note: i changed the wording from sexual to intimate here because it can be seen as an attempt to pathologize asexuality, and that’s not very cool of the DSM)

4. Takes pleasure in few, if any, activities.

5. Lacks close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives.

6. Appears indifferent to the praise or criticism of others.

7. Shows emotional coldness, detachment, or flattened affectivity.

disclaimer here, considering the recent lore on dark sun, i don’t think he’s Entirely Schizoid anymore, but he def has Some Traits. I’ll mostly just be talking about my earlier thoughts on him before all the shit with Ruin, Nexus, and Eclipse happened

when he was first introduced (and through some of his subsequent interactions) i could SMELL the apathy and anhedonia on this bitch. i mean LOOK at this man

dark sun was obviously Very Detached and seemed unbothered by his solitude/overall Lack of Social Relationships, in fact i think he preferred it

i can’t say anything about him enjoying any activities (even with current lore) (which in it of itself might say something about him) i’m not sure if this guy truly Enjoys anything he does, he seems quite apathetic to it all

him lacking close confidents is. kind of self explanatory, he was very much Alone in his dimension (moon does not count, i’m not sure if that guy was even functional). his indifference is also self explanatory i think

i already mentioned his Detachment, but he definitely experiences flattened activity, i don’t think we’ve ever seen him sound/be remotely emotional

he also does appear to experience some level of grandiosity/superiority complex, which is actually something that can be experienced with SZPD (not to be confused with grandiosity in NPD)

for SZPD, they may experience grandiosity as a defense mechanism. it should be noted that people with SZPD who display these behaviors may not believe they are a “great” person. rather it’s a mask to protect themselves. think of it as a means to maintain their independence (avoid being “controlled”) or cover up their own emotional inavailability.

here’s a tumblr post with some screenshots about SZPD & grandiosity (from a book about SZPD) that you may find useful: https://hauntedselves.tumblr.com/post/715822672943202304/schizoid-defences-omnipotence-and-grandiosity

now, does dark sun genuinely believe he’s great/superior? honestly idk LMAO if anyone has any idea lmk

ANYWAYS, this is probably really jumbled (rip) but i tried my best. i’m just a guy with szpd who thinks it’s Really Neat when characters display symptoms of a disorder i have

i hope you enjoyed my Thoughts 🐐

Hi and thanks for the ask! And it actually makes a lot of sense as to why you would think he has ScPD considering it's commonly mixed up with ASPD by the general public.

Firstly, I think it's important to recognize that ScPD is a Cluster A disorder, and ASPD (his canon diagnosis) is a Cluster B disorder. The two clusters have similar but different criteria and generalized behaviors.

Both disorders involve difficulties in social interactions. ScPD individuals have discomfort in close relationships and may exhibit eccentric behaviors, while those with ASPD may disregard others' rights and engage in manipulative or deceitful behavior. People with ScPD may exhibit paranoid thoughts and suspiciousness, which can superficially resemble the manipulative and distrustful behaviors seen in ASPD.

ScPD is characterized by eccentric behavior, odd beliefs, and social anxiety. In contrast, ASPD involves a lack of empathy, disregard for social norms, and manipulative or anti-social behavior. Individuals with ScPD often behave oddly due to cognitive distortions and discomfort in social situations, not intending harm. Those with ASPD often act with intentional disregard for others' rights and may engage in harmful behavior without remorse.

Mental health professionals use structured diagnostic tools and criteria (like those in the DSM-5) to distinguish between these disorders accurately. This process includes detailed interviews, psychological assessments, and consideration of the individual's history and behavior patterns. This second part is especially important because if you look at the DSM-5 criteria a lot of behaviors are generalized and therefore a lot of different specific behaviors get glossed over. This is how I ended up with an autism diagnosis (I am not autistic in the slightest) and almost got shackled with a BPD diagnosis too because the people diagnosing me weren't taking the time to figure out what I was actually like and listening to the general behaviors.

Misunderstanding can occur in non-clinical settings due to a lack of detailed knowledge about the specific features of each disorder. The term "personality disorder" itself can lead to confusion, as people might assume all personality disorders have similar characteristics. Media often portrays individuals with personality disorders in a sensationalized manner. For example, characters with ASPD are frequently depicted in media as violent criminals or masterminds, while those with SCPD might be shown as eccentric loners or “weirdos.” These portrayals lack the nuance of real-life experiences and can lead to stereotypical views that do not accurately represent the spectrum of symptoms or the daily challenges faced by individuals with these disorders.

Some symptoms can appear similar across different personality disorders, leading to confusion. For instance, both ASPD and SCPD can involve social difficulties, but for very different reasons. Without a thorough understanding of the specific criteria for each disorder, people might conflate the two or misinterpret behaviors.

I think it's important to remember that as far as canon goes, he was labeled with ASPD from the get-go, and they have been extremely consistent with portraying ASPD traits in his character. However, as far as fanon goes, do whatever you want bro. I'm in full support of having headcanons and such.

As far as superiority, survey says yes. However, not in the sense of grandiosity that comes with arrogance or the belief that one is better than others which is commonly associated with disorders like NPD and ScPD, as well as others. I actually talked about what it's like for someone with ASPD/low empathy in this regard and I'll go ahead and grab that.

Fourthly, as someone who believes themself to be both superior and inferior of their peers at most all times, but never an equal, as well as having experience with other's who are similar to myself in nature, I will have to debunk that last statement entirely. You cannot feel superior to something if you do not understand it, because how else are you able to make that judgement. Most often people who genuinely know that they are above their peers understand their peers more than their peers understand themselves, and it is not a snobbish, arrogant superiority, but rather a knowledge, deep and lonesome in nature, that you will be lucky to chance upon another who can match your own understanding. It is not a cruel, vindictive behavior, but rather the turn of pages and the avoidance of others because they exhaust you by being overly concerned with things that you know have no real importance. People around you are tedious at worst, and amusing at best. There is a difference between genuinely being superior and being casted in this knowledge that is fact, and considering yourself better than another person. More often than not those who are genuinely above others in their understanding are the ones who are most aware that they are then rendered as less than, for they can no longer comfortably exist among their peers, and as humans are social creatures, one who cannot do such at ease are cast aside by the crowds as well. It creates both a hermit and a pariah out of a being.

This specific snippet was from a debate about Gemini having low empathy but also applies to characters (and people) with ASPD.

Also thank you for coming in here to share! I think you raise a lot of good points that would have been extremely relevant and informative, and still are extremely informative. Maybe not as relevant however since we already know that Helios is canonically ASPD, haha. However, it was so nice to hear your thoughts and about you're experiences (indirectly), so thank you so much for sharing (again)!

[myseungsunglove]

Unexpected | Ksm

Pairing: Seungmin x Reader

Warnings: fluffy angst adjacent

Word Count: 1k

𖠫Summary: MC finds herself writing a letter to her boyfriend Kim Seungmin to tell him all of the seemingly small and insightful ways and not so small ways she has felt loved by him when she never expected to feel truly loved by anyone.

Thoughts: This is another odd one. It comes from a very personal place, and it just kind of manifested without me meaning for it to. Hopefully it will reach someone who feels all of these things too.

✎WIP✎: working on a few Han pieces and Seungmin as well that are a bit more fluffy than my most recent pieces.

◠ ◡ ◠᭚ιαᵕ̈

「© July 25, 2023 by mysweethannie」

I’ve never been one to love hard and trust fast. I judge hard and trust slow. It takes a lot for someone to break down my walls, or for me to hand them the key to my seemingly impenetrable heart. I don’t think there’s anyone who really knows me.

Until I met you, Kim Seungmin.

I didn’t expect to fall in love with you, but there is something about you that makes me feel safe. Makes me feel like I don’t have to keep up the walls that I’ve so expertly built around myself. I can be me and you’ll be you and everything‘s okay. Everything is more than okay.

Before you, I had told myself that I was content with the dull loneliness that had become my constant companion in life. I was sure I wasn’t capable of giving love to anyone. This was something I was told each time a relationship inevitably crumbled. And because I loved so differently from other people, it made me unlovable. I somehow convinced myself that I was actually happy with this kind of life, not being loved, and that I couldn’t really find any kind of joy in a relationship because of my inability to love someone like they wanted or deserved. I really believed it to be true.

You changed all of that, Kim Seungmin.

I hate it when people say that love finds you when you least expect it. I hate it so much because that’s exactly what happened with you. I never expected to find you. I certainly wasn’t looking. I guess it was a good thing you were literally right in front of me. Sometimes I swear my life is one big romantic comedy where the writer forgot to give me the script, so I’m not sure when to laugh at how ridiculous my life seems sometimes.

I didn’t expect for you to be the only thing I think about on the dark nights that I don’t see you when our schedules don’t align or I don’t get to fall asleep in your arms. That’s so unlike anything I’ve ever experienced in love before. When I really think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever actually experienced love before you.

I never knew love could be so all consuming, at least not for someone like me. Not for someone who appears physically cold and distant at times and doesn’t know how to connect with people on a physical level. I was certain for a long time that I must be broken because I’ve never felt the things that other people had talked about when they talked about love. I’m still not always sure I convey my love for you adequately but you tell me you love me. Those three words are words you don’t use frequently or utter lightly so I know you must feel some kind of love from me or you wouldn’t risk the vulnerability of telling me you love me. It’s ironic how learning about you and how you love actually helps me learn about myself.

Funnily enough, the love we share, it’s still somehow different from the love I see between other people around me. You love me quietly in your own way yet I’ve never felt more loved, more seen, more known. You don’t have to say those three words every day for me to understand how deeply you feel about me.

I didn’t expect to feel loved when you give me a knowing side eye from the corner of the room when I’m stuck in a conversation with Chan or Changbin.

I didn’t expect to feel loved when you sit down beside me, your thighs pressing close to mine, your hand running soothingly along my back as I work on lyrics for a new song.

I didn’t expect to feel loved, and maybe I should have, when your fingers intertwined with mine, your thumb rubbing gently against my skin the first time I had a panic attack while I’m with you in public.

I didn’t expect to feel loved when you wrote and sang a song just for me. Your voice feels like the safest place on earth, and I know I don’t tell you that enough so this is me telling you.

I didn’t expect to feel loved the first time our lips met. This one may blow people away, but I’d never felt it before so why should I have thought this time would be any different? I guess my first clue should have been that everything was different with you, but somehow I still managed to be surprised.

Finally, and maybe this one is the saddest, but I didn’t expect to feel so loved the first time we made love or even every time after that. My connection with people is always emotional first, and that doesn’t always translate to physical attraction or deep connection. In fact, it very rarely does. Even when it does, my body doesn’t keep up with what my mind wants if that even makes sense. With you, every time you touch me intimately, my body is alight in a way I have never experienced before with anyone and honestly I had no idea it was even possible. No one has ever made me feel every emotion imaginable all at once, but Seungmin when you press closely to me, your long arms wrapping around me safely, my brain fires in a way I’m not sure it even learned to until you. It’s like you were a missing piece my brain needed to finally be whole.

I didn’t expect to fall in love with you, Kim Seungmin, but I'm certain I couldn’t do life without you now.

[bluemoonpunch]

Relationship Reading for Choi San and Jung Wooyoung - Tarot Reading

[This reading covers the relationship dynamic between Choi San and Jung Wooyoung on a subconscious and energetic level. This particular reading can cover romantic, platonic, and familial relationships and is designed to put a connection between two people into perspective, showcasing what is gained from the relationship and what the highest potential of the connection is. I used The Linestrider’s Journey Tarot for this reading. This spread is an original design by me. This reading lasted less than 1 hour.]

Reading Performed: July 4, 2024

Posted: July 13, 2024

Back in November/December of 2023, I had random hyperfixation on ATEEZ for a solid month or so — I heard Bouncy and it was all downhill from there. My dumb ass, as always, started reading in on their energy and there were some interesting things that came through the first time I watched the MV for Bouncy, and came to find out, I did readings on a couple of the members back in 2018 and some of that same energy was coming through. It was really interesting because I recognized it, saw it so clearly, and then found out I wrote about the exact same imagery years ago. That led to me SPIRALING and basically breaking down the entire group's current state, purpose, past lives, bla bla bla, the whole thing. Like, I was going to write a 50-page report on all of it because it was genuinely fascinating what was coming through and how it was seemingly showing up in their personal development and work now.

Depression and physical health issues hit, so I never did write anything, but I saw some really, really, really interesting stuff for San and Wooyoung that suggests an isolated lifetime centered on healing and protection that stems from issues that arose in a past life where Wooyoung would have been on his own due to necessary soul development that was needed in order to occupy the same space as San on a higher level. Quite literally, it looked like they were just casually fucking around on Earth for centuries, popped out, and realized they couldn’t go where they wanted to go together without Wooyoung’s soul experiencing more development, so they threw him back in on his own in a hyper-compressed incarnation cycle and things just didn't go well.

That lifetime, which was actually an incarnation cycle of three lifetimes back to back, ended up being quite negative and left “scars” on the souls of everyone involved. I really could write a whole other thing about all of this, I have a ridiculous amount of notes on it because out of everyone, they have the most interestingly deep soul connection I have ever seen out of all the readings I have ever done. Like, they are literally here to do nothing else but heal Wooyoung’s soul and balance energy — balancing energy and healing seems to be the group’s collective “purpose,” although they seem to have given themselves this purpose. They are not, as I’ve seen it, “on the roster,” but are to be influential, especially as individuals.

For San and Wooyoung, when I first watched the video I was like, oh they definitely have some vibes together, don’t they? And then I found out that San is a Cancer and Wooyoung is a Sagittarius. I have, FOR YEARSSSS, wanted to analyze a pair made up of a Cancer and Sagittarius because I’ve always found their reflective energies together to be so interesting. You have Cancer, Cardinal Water, Firery Water, boiling water, a spewing geyser, and Sagittarius, Mutable Fire, Watery Fire, flowing fire, an erupting volcano. They’re quite literally the SAME energies, visually they line up, they just erupt from different spaces. Fire and Water are the most difficult elements to balance, but Cancer and Sagittarius have an inherent balance within them between Water and Fire, although it can make them a bit temperamental and sensitive.

To me, it always felt like a Cancer and Sagittarius would simply have to hate each other until there was just one split second where they both happened to “erupt” at the same time, express something from within at the same time, and suddenly they’re like, “oh, you’re me, i’m you” and then it’s just best friends forever. And that’s basically what I saw between them when looking at their energetic connections now within this lifetime.

For the sake of not getting too wild off the bat, I will just focus on what came through in this reading alone, but if anyone is interested, I will GLADLY unload all of what I have for ATEEZ down the line.

Overall Energy

As expected, Healing and Regeneration are at the head of the overall energy between them. Healing and protection are extremely strong links for them that are rooted in the soul. So deeply rooted that this may feel more instinctual for them at this point than emotional or mental. Healing represents the energy, while Regeneration marks where and how that energy is being used. It gives me the sense of the souls re-expanding after experiencing a few downfalls, especially on Wooyoung’s side where, as I mentioned, he has acquired some pretty deep soul scars from past lifetimes.

Discovery (Mercury in Sagittarius) and the Lunar Eclipse both give this incredible sense of conscious level expansion to match with the expansion of their souls. They could explore spiritual things together, or discuss personal philosophy with each other. This is very focused between the two of them and gives me the sense of them being able to holds a “birs’s eye view” when they ponder things together, as if their vision becomes clearer through the other, allowing them to understand themselves, each other, and the world much easier when they seek it out together.

The Queen of Cups at the end there grounds a lot of this energy into a more physical and conscious place, but still highlights the strong soul connection and suggests tightly woven emotional bonds as well. One of the keywords with this card is “devotion” which suits them well on all levels of connection.

Before we get to the main reading, I just want to point out how INSANE it is that the mirrored state of their souls showed up in this reading so clearly. I really do want to do a deepdive post on them at some point because everything that I’ve seen for them has honestly blown my mind, and their cards here just add to that.

San’s Projection: Ten of Wands (rev.) Wooyoung’s Projection: Ten of Swords (rev.)

This set marks the energy that San and Wooyoung individually project into their relationship with each other. This is purely an energetic projection and may not reflect emotional or mental connections. Here, San is projecting the reversed Ten of Wands while Wooyoung is projecting the reversed Ten of Swords. These are the “bad 10s” in tarot, both holding quite a lot of pain, frustration and even death in their upright positions. There may be a display here of conflict between the soul and the conscious level aspects as both of these cards essentially are in denial of themselves, but seemingly for the sake of each other.

Tens mark the end, and when reversed, that end is being denied or something isn’t being brought to completion. On San’s end, the focus is on Wands, Fire, energy, and matters of the body, while Wooyoung’s focuses on Swords, Air, thoughts and communication, and matters of the mind. It displays a set dynamic where San is the body and Wooyoung is the mind, which is somewhat similar to what I saw of their souls in a state before they started incarnating on Earth. On a conscious and physical level, this settles more as physical and mental burdens they both share partially being withheld from the other.

Essentially, it’s like the reversed state of these cards came by two hands. For example, if San is feeling physically unwell he may hide it from Wooyoung to not worry him, but Wooyoung may also be someone he wants to be around when he’s not feeling well. Therefore there could be a kind of secret nurturing where sometimes they have to ask each other or very directly express their negative states to each other, and other times they can care for each other without much talking at all. So, in some aspects, they reverse their own cards, and in others, they reverse each other. Either way, they will never get to a breaking point, they will never hit a physical or mental “rock bottom” so long as they have the other to balance them.

To explain the cards more, the Ten of Wands, when upright, traditionally features someone carrying a lot of sticks (Wands/Fire/Energy) towards a destination that is quite far away in the background of the image. In the Rider-Waite deck, the man in the image is shown to really be struggling, hunched over with his face buried in the sticks as he tries to keep hold of them. In the image in this deck, it’s shown as a young girl who has collapsed on the ground with a bag of sticks on her back as she stares at her destination in the background.

It’s physical overwhelm or overexertion that puts a lot of strain on the body. This card can have a positive side to it as it can suggest that whatever overwhelming or strenuous situation you are in right now may come to an end soon, but when it is reversed, it’s more so allowing yourself to drop those sticks and take a breather. This can be positive as you can catch your breath and regain some energy, but in other situations, reversals here could line up with someone giving up just before they’re about to hit their finish line.

For San, I really feel this in a literal way where there is overexertion on the body, or a tendency to overdo physical activity, especially in a stressed state, and either for Wooyoung’s sake, or with the help of Wooyoung, he pulls that energy down, grounds himself, and sort of tempers his own Fire. It’s making me think of someone who would work out quite hard for hours, and then finish up with a grounding meditation. I will say that San’s soul, where it stems from, is a very high place, his energy is very high frequency and with that, it can be quite hard to hold that energy in the body. A lot of movement or bodily focus is necessary for him to stay grounded, so this may be connected to that as well.

The Ten of Swords, when upright, traditionally shows a man lying dead on a shoreline with ten swords in his back. In the background, we can see the sky either clearing or gathering in a storm, and the sun either rising or setting in the background. As Swords relate to Air energy, thoughts and communication, logic, and harsh reality, the Ten of Swords marks an undeniable end, one you can’t alleviate or run from. This can have a lot to do with anxiety and depression, as well as negative self-image if you can imagine the swords as your own thoughts and the body as yourself.

As I’ve seen in past explorations with them, both in past lives (and out-of-body lives) and the current lifetime, Wooyoung seems to have quite a bit of mental weight to him, but it’s not necessarily observational, as in it’s not so much that he’s thinking a lot, it’s like he takes in a lot of what is around him, what he hears, what he sees, and he holds onto it. The image of the Ten of Swords here in this deck is more so accurate to what I feel for Wooyoung.

In the image, a deer (I think) is shown to have been shot by many arrows and is twisted in pain. Those arrows could be equated to the words and actions of other people that Wooyoung carries with him. This can reflect his soul state with the soul scarring, as well as his current state where there does seem to be some sensitivity and maybe some personal insecurity to him.

They hide from each other a little bit, they hide this stress from each other, but at the same time it’s kind of impossible to do such a thing when they are so closely linked that you could argue they may be able to read each other's minds. They hide these states from each other, but at the same time, they each help the other to maintain and balance these quite heavy energies and keep them from ever reaching a true breaking point.

How San Sees Wooyoung: Nine of Cups + Ace of Cups How Wooyoung Sees San: Ace of Pentacles + Nine of Pentacles

This was the most insane part of the reading for me. The mirrored Tens already had me like O.O, and then this shit came out and I was like, what the fuck am I even supposed to do with this??

This set covers how, based on the current state and their projections, they see each other within their relationship. San sees Wooyoung as the Nine of Cups and the Ace of Cups, while Wooyoung sees San as the Nine of Pentacles and Ace of Pentacles. I find it interesting that while they are “hiding” their Tens from each other, they actively acknowledge and seem to praise each other at their peaks with these Nines. What’s even more fun is that in these suits, Cups and Pentacles, the Tens are some of the most positive cards in the deck, and with these Aces here, it almost feels like they look at each other as if they have the ingredients to make the Ten of Pentacles and the Ten of Cups — Ace (1) + Nine.

Here, they also seem to really acknowledge each other as a counterpart, someone they balance with, or someone who has what they are missing. Wooyoung, who may experience a bit more emotional and mental turmoil, looks to San as this space of stability and support, a strong foundation based in Earth energy with the Pentacles. There’s an admiration through the Nine of Pentacles for how independent he is and how well he is able to accomplish what he sets out to do. San, who seems to be a bit more physically oriented for the sake of staying grounded, sees Wooyoung as this flowing energy, seeing him as having more Water to him. A strong, open sensitivity that he finds fulfilling and relaxing. There’s an appreciation here for creativity and fluidity as well.

My favorite thing about this, is that as they acknowledge each other as counterparts through these energies, they are essentially blending Earth and Water energy. Similar to Water and Fire, Water and Earth can be a bit tricky to mix as you can destabilize Earth with Water, or dry out and absorb Water with Earth. In its perfect balance, however, as it is displayed here with these mirrored energies, Water and Earth come together to create clay. Something, energy, that can be shaped and molded at will into anything. Combining that with an element of balance between Divine Masculine energy on San’s side and Divine Feminine energy on Wooyoung’s side, you basically have two people who, when working together, are a magic wand away from being The Magician, a master manifestor.

In other words, anything they create together or work on together where they can focus on each other could be considered magic in the sense that they would have quite a lot of ease in bringing their visions to life while working together.

Current State of The Relationship: The Lovers Highest Potential: Ten of Pentacles

Here, The Lovers came out to represent the current state of their relationship, while the Ten of Pentacles popped out to showcase the highest potential of their relationship going forward. I put them together because what it looks like to me is that the Lovers represent the soul connection while the Ten of Pentacles represent that soul connection being completely integrated into the physical and conscious levels. They’re already there pretty much, perhaps that’s the significance of the Nines and Aces combos, but this suggests that they’re supposed to get to that higher state and integrate more of those higher aspects.

In one of the many readings I did for them, I did see, especially for San as his soul is quite BIG energetically speaking, that there were multiple stages of soul integration that he would experience in this lifetime that would be marked by alterations of the body — found out a bit later that he did bulk up quite a bit over the last few years, so I assume, especially when it comes to the need to ground into the physical through the actual body, that this is reflective of that. Wooyoung doesn’t have as much to integrate, but his soul is still occupying a much higher state than he is right now on a conscious level. The integration for Wooyoung may be noticeable in drastic changes regarding self-perception, self-esteem, and how he operates or expresses himself artistically.

As this entire lifetime is very self-focused (focused on each other) for the two of them, specifically in the realm of healing Wooyoung and progressing his soul a bit more so that he can join San out of body on a more well-matched level, it makes sense that potentially the Ten of Pentacles here marks, in its entirety, the completion of this lifetime with all that they set out to do being accomplished. The current state of The Lovers implies personal alignment, but in this context, reflects their deep soul unity and recognition of each other as soul counterparts (the term "soulmate" doesn’t quite capture how significant this connection actually is).

The Lovers, on a soul level, based on the traditional Rider-Waite image, showcases personal inner alignment of the layers of consciousness — conscious, subconscious, unconscious — through the images of Adam, Eve, and the Angel Raphael. Adam represents the conscious mind that looks to Eve, the receptive, intuitive subconscious, who looks to the Higher Self, the higher unconscious mind represented by the Angel.

In addition to that, Adam and Eve stand in as representatives of the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine as Eve, the force of Life, stands in front of a flourishing tree and Adam, the force of destruction or deconstruction, stands in front of a burning tree. When they are in balance, Life and Death dance happily, but if Adam looks away from Eve, if the Divine Masculine loses sight of the Divine Feminine, it loses connection to its own soul, stagnates, and becomes destructive toward the surrounding environment. If Eve disconnects from either side, she can become destructive toward herself.

The Lovers card in this deck here shows San and Wooyoung as these counterparts, Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine, being in perfect sync with each other, implying that within themselves they hold that personal alignment, and are able to meet each other on all levels. This is what makes soul integration possible for them and is what is fueling the soul healing that Wooyoung is experiencing in this lifetime.

*More readings at bluemoonpunch.com!