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nanawritesit · 1 year ago

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Being EXO’s fem!idol crush who gets shipped with them - Hyung Line Ver.

Maknae Line Ver.

a/n: this is based on the SM girl group idol au that i wrote a while back, please read that first so that the writing will make sense :) ALSO chen’s will be written platonically bc as i’ve stated before, i don’t feel comfortable writing romantic scenarios for someone who has a wife and two kids 💀 AND these scenarios are LONG so i’m splitting this into two parts! enjoy :)

TW: kissing, being held, crying, mentions of food

Xiumin:

You and Xiumin had been growing close as colleagues and friends for a few months now. You began hanging out on a semi-regular basis, and today he was guest starring on a live video for Etoile Clubhouse.

“You ready?” you asked him, finger hovering over mouse to click the “live” button. You were actually asking yourself if you would be able to get through a whole video with him without making a fool of yourself. Lately you had been developing the biggest crush on him, and it was highly embarrassing. Not even your members knew about it. You knew that Nabi and Marie would just tease you mercilessly, and that Iseul and Kaori would never stop bothering you with questions, so you decided to keep it to yourself.

“You know it.” he winked, leaning forward in his chair with a grin.

You nodded, letting out a small gulp as you clicked the button. In just a few seconds, fans and comments were pouring in.

“Hi Starlight! It’s your main vocalist Y/N!” you greeted your fans lovingly. Xiumin glanced over at you with an admiring sparkle in his eyes, which you didn’t seem to notice.

“Today I’m joined by my good friend, Xiumin of EXO!” you announced, gesturing over to him.

Xiumin waved at the camera. “Hi Starlight! It’s good to see you!”

You began scrolling through some of the comments.

ugh, my two biases together, my heart can’t take it 😭

OLDEST MEMBERS ON TOP!

look at the way he’s looking at her 🥺💞

You tried to control the blush smile that threatened to make its way onto your face, leaning back in your chair. “Well, they’re certainly happy to see you too!”

He smiled appreciatively, giving the camera a small bow. “Thank you, Starlight. It’s an honor to be here with the lovely Y/N.”

You hit his arm playfully. “Stop trying to butter me up! You’re not stealing any of my fans!”

He laughed at you, ruffling your hair slightly. “Awh, you know I wouldn’t do that to you. Besides, I could never betray EXO-L like that.” He flashed a finger heart at the camera with a cute wink.

You rolled your eyes, then went back to reading some of the comments.

just ask her out already xiumin 😑

the banter??? they’re so cute omg

oh they’re definitely dating 👀

“Wow, you guys really have a lot to say today.” you chuckled nervously.

Xiumin glanced over at you again with a reassuring smile, his eyes so full of compassion that you could melt. “We do make a pretty good team, Y/N. You can’t blame them for being honest.”

You laughed at his comment, easing up a bit. As the live went on, you both just answered some questions and talked about the projects you’d been working on lately. There were a lot of laughs, and overall you were very satisfied with the fan turnout. A lot of EXO-L’s had heard that Xiumin was on your live, and popped over to say hi as well.

“Well, we’re approaching our hour mark, so unfortunately it’s time to say goodbye.” you huffed disappointedly. You always hated saying goodbye to your fans.

“I suppose so…” Xiumin sighed. He pouted at the camera, making you chuckle.

“Alright, until next time, stay twinkly!” you smiled at the camera, pressing you hand to your lips to do your signature ending. You always blew a kiss to the camera at the end of a live.

However, as you did, Xiumin pressed a kiss to your cheek. You froze, hand falling away from your lips slowly.

“Did you just…?” you asked in bewilderment, looking over at him with doe eyes.

He just sat there with a content shit-eating grin on his face, looking at you innocently.

You looked over at the monitor to see what the fans were saying.

OH MY GOD Y/N-MIN IS HAPPENING !!!

XIUMIN IS BOLD AF

KISS! KISS! KISS!

“ALRIGHT, it’s time to say goodbye Starlight!” you chuckled anxiously, quickly blowing a kiss before exiting out of the live. You swiveled around in your chair to face Xiumin. “What was that?”

“It was just a kiss on the cheek.” he chirped, resting his chin on his hand.

“Yes, but on live? That could’ve been a disaster! What if the fans-“

“What if the fans what?” he interrupted, grabbing your hand and rubbing his thumb long the back of it. “They obviously liked us together. And so do I.”

Your heart stopped, and you looked up at him in disbelief. “You… you do?”

He nodded, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. “I do. I really do. I want something more with you Y/N.”

You gave him a small smile, placing your hand over his. “I do too Xiumin. I’ve wanted it for a while now. I’m sorry I freaked out.”

“It’s understandable. What I did was kind of risky.” he chuckled.

“You think?” you replied sarcastically.

“Come here…” he grumbled, tugging you closer to him. He brought his hands up to the sides of your face and pulled you in for a kiss. It was sweet and delicate, and everything you had been hoping for. You placed your hands on his shoulders as you leaned into it, deepening it slightly. As you pulled away, your foreheads came to rest against each other.

“You make me so happy, Y/N.” he whispered, squinting his eyes.

“Ditto.” you replied, pecking his lips again.

Suho:

It was the long anticipated MAMA awards, and you and your group were all dressed up in matching indigo gowns. You were all sitting together in your row, watching the performances and applauding as the awards were presented. You were especially entertained by one of the hosts… Suho from EXO.

“Wow, you’re really engrossed in the ceremony Y/N.” Nabi commented, leaning over and nudging you in your side.

“Oh, shut up!” you grunted, slapping her arm away. “I’m just excited to see all our colleagues get rewarded for how hard they’ve worked this year.”

“Yeah, and it has nothing to do with how you’ve had a crush on Suho since the day he accidentally walked in on our dance practice back when we were trainees.” Marie teased you from your other side.

“I’m feeling very ganged up on right now.” you grumbled, crossing your arms. “At least the maknaes respect me enough not to make fun of me.”

“That’s only because they’re such big STAYS that they can’t take their eyes off the stage long enough to realize you’re making googly eyes at the host.” Nabi retorted.

You glanced over at Iseul and Kaori who were totally immersed in Stray Kids’ performance. They were totally in love with Felix and Changbin respectively, and were so jealous when you got to make a cameo in one of their music videos. You promised to get them autographs, but it only eased the pain a little bit.

Everyone broke out into applause as Stray Kids exited the stage and returned to their seats. Suho and Irene walked back to the center of the stage to announce the next award, and a hush fell upon the audience. You looked up at the stage with bright eyes, trying to act as if you were looking at both the hosts, and not just Suho.

“What a wonderful performance from Stray Kids!” he congratulated. “It’s no wonder they’ve already received three awards tonight.”

You laughed along with everyone else, making Nabi and Marie share a knowing glance. You hit them both lightly on the thigh, making them snap away from each other quickly. Sometimes your unni-card came in handy.

“That’s true, but now it’s time to announce the winner of best female group!” Irene beamed, waving the envelope in her hands.

The crowd erupted in cheers, and all five of you looked at each other with wide eyes. It was your first year in the running, and while you weren’t expecting to win, the anticipation was killing you all. Etoile had really taken off last year after Andromeda was released, and was already considered in the realms of Twice and Red Velvet. It was certainly going to be a tense moment, and the whole audience knew it.

You grabbed onto Nabi and Marie’s hands, immediately forgetting about how frustrated they had made you earlier. Marie reached over to hold Iseul and Kaori’s hands. It was a tradition you all started after you won your first award with Andromeda. Even if you weren’t expecting to win, you all held hands to signify your unity. Irene began to unfold the envelope, and everyone was on the edge of their seats.

You glanced up at the stage, and for a moment, you could swear that Suho was looking at you. His eyes were full of admiration and joy. Your heart stopped, and you gripped onto your members hands even harder. Suddenly, Suho glanced over at the envelope in Irene’s hands. His eyebrows raised and his mouth fell open slightly. Forgetting himself, he looked back over at you in the crowd and gave you a small wink. Did that mean that…?

“And the MAMA award for best female group goes to Etoile!” Irene cheered, clapping her hands together excitedly.

The five of you sprung up from your seats, eyes wide with shock and disbelief. There was no way! This had to be a joke. But when you looked behind you and saw nearly all your colleagues, senior and junior, looking at you with praise and pride, you knew it was real.

You looked over at Nabi, who already had tears streaming down your face. You giggled at her emotional reaction, putting a hand on her shoulder. “You okay?”

She shook her head, wiping her tears. “I’m… I’m…”

You chuckled at her, taking her hands in your own. “Come on, we have to go accept the award.”

As you led your leader out into the aisle way, you glanced back to see Marie clinging onto her, then Iseul clinging onto Marie, and Kaori clinging onto Iseul. They were all sobbing and barely making it out of their seats without passing out. You shook your head with an amused smile. This always happened. Your members would all be blubbering messes and you were always the only calm one, leading them up the stage like a mother hen.

As you reached the stairs, you looked up to see Suho rushing over to help you up. You couldn’t help the giddy smile that was plastered on your face as his eyes met yours. You took his hand and allowed him to lead you up the steps, with him taking extra care to move slowly enough so that you wouldn’t trip in your heels. As you ascended the last step, he gingerly placed a kiss over the back of your hand. Your eyes went wide, and you could hear your members giggling behind you.

“Congratulations. You deserve this.” he told you, gesturing over to Irene, who was waiting to give you your award.

You gave him an excited, blushy smile and rushed over to Irene, who already had her arms extended to give you a huge hug. As she pulled away, she handed you your award. “I knew you could do it, little sis.” she grinned admiringly.

“Thank you, big sis.” you replied with a small bow, leading your girls over to the microphone to give the speech.

—————

Later that night, you were all at the after party, and everyone there was treating you like the guests of honor. Your friends from Stray Kids came over to congratulate you, making Iseul and Kaori’s millennium.

“Did you see the way Changbin looked at me?” your maknae squealed, clutching the award to her chest. She hadn’t let go of it all night long, treating it like it was her own child. You had to admit, it was adorable to see your “daughter” so excited about your groups’ achievement.

“Yeah, it was the same way Suho was looking at our Y/N during the ceremony.” Nabi teased you once again.

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, well you couldn’t look at anything during the ceremony because your eyes were flooded with tears.”

The other girls laughed along with you, except Nabi, who scoffed annoyedly.

“I still can’t believe he kissed your hand though.” Iseul commented, shaking your shoulders excitedly. “I really think you should shoot your shot with him!”

“All I want to do right now is go get some air.” you shut her down, patting her shoulder lovingly. “All this interrogation is making me feel suffocated.”

The four girls chuckled at you, waving you off as you made your way to a secluded hallway. You knew they meant well, but god they were insufferable sometimes.

However as you turnt the corner, lost in thought, you came face first with a solid brick wall. At least, that’s what you thought it was until you looked up to see Suho’s eyes locked in on yours.

“Oh, forgive me, I’m so clumsy!” you apologized frantically, feeling your cheeks heat up.

“No, it’s alright!” he reassured you, placing his hands gingerly on your arms to stabilize you. “Are you okay?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I just had to get some air.”

“I get it. Being so successful is exhausting.” he replied.

You smiled at him before glancing down at the ground nervously. “We really weren’t expecting to win.”

“What?” he asked you, furrowing his brows in confusion. “Why not? I thought you guys were an absolute shoo-in.”

“Is that why you were staring at me in the crowd?” you asked, feeling a bit more bold.

Now it was his turn to blush and glance down at his shoes. “Maybe. I just knew that my favorite junior group had worked really hard this year and deserved to win the award.”

Your heart slipped a beat. “We’re your favorite junior group?”

He nodded with a playful grin. “Absolutely. And you’re my bias.”

Your mouth impulsively dropped open, making you feel like an idiot. You quickly slapped it shut, adjusting your hair anxiously. “That’s really funny, because you happen to be my bias.”

“Really?” he gaped, copying the same actions you had just taken. You giggled with a nod, making him chuckle. “I guess EXO-L and Starlight are right, we do make a good pairing.”

You squinted your eyes in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, you must have been so busy out there that you haven’t had the chance to check social media!” he realized, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. He pulled up a popular fanpage and handed it to you. “It’s all anyone can talk about. Along with how adorable you were leading your group down the aisle.”

You scrolled through the comments, eyes bulging out of your head at how many there were.

suho was so cute kissing Y/N’s hand 🥺 i’m so jealous but i think they’d make an adorable couple

suho rushing over to help Y/N up the stage was the cutest thing ever! he definitely has a lil crush on her <3

did anyone else notice how Suho winked at Y/N in the audience??? and how Y/N was looking at Suho the whole time he was hosting??? they’re literally so in love idc 😤

You fought back the tugging at the corner of your lips, handing Suho back his phone. “That’s amazing.”

“I know. I guess the only thing left for us to do is go out on a date.”

You nodded. “I’d like that very much.”

You both exchanged numbers, then said your goodbyes as he made his way back out into the party. As you got to the bathroom, you shut the door behind you and pressed your back against it, clutching your chest. You had just gotten the award of your dreams and the man of your dreams, all in the same night. How much more lucky could you get?

Lay:

You were having a great time in China with Marie, being chosen as guest mentors for an idol training program. A lot of the girls on the show were fans, and your appearances were bringing in a lot of new Chinese Starlights.

You were reaching the end of your filming, running through the last steps of your dance practice with the girls. You and Marie were standing at the front of the room with your backs’ to the door, and you were so entranced with watching your girls’ practice that you didn’t even hear the door open behind you.

Suddenly, a strong pair of arms was thrown around the two of you, making you both jump. Your head whipped around quickly, and your eyes widened as you realized who it was.

“Yixing!” you both cheered, turning around in his arms to hug him.

He flashed a smile at you before wrapping his arms around the two of you tightly.

The girls all finished their dance and cheered at the arrival of another mentor, one that they had been working with for quite a while now.

“Alright girls, I think it’s time for a break!” you announced. They all thanked you and bowed before filing out, leaving the three of you alone in the dance practice room.

“I didn’t know you guys’ were going to be on the show!” Yixing beamed, putting his hands on his hips. “I came in to do the dance practice with the girls today and they were all gone, then the producers told me you were guest mentoring today, and I just had to come say hi.”

“Yes you did!” you agreed. “We’ve missed you so much at SM! You were our favorite senior!”

He blushed slightly, running a hand through his hair. “I’ve missed you guys too. But I really like the work I’m doing over here.”

“Of course, we understand that.” Marie reassured him. “It just gets hard without your expertise sometimes.”

You all laughed, shifting slightly.

“Alright, I think that’s enough footage for now.” the camera man announced. “The main focus of the episode is going to be the vocal practice so you guys are good to go.”

You and Marie thanked him, then turned back to Yixing.

“So, if you guys aren’t doing anything tonight, do you wanna get dinner together? It’ll be my treat.” he offered with a cute smile.

You blushed slightly. “I’d love to.”

“Thank you, but I’ll pass. I think I pulled something in my shoulder today.” Marie grumbled, rolling her shoulder back a few times. “But you guys have fun.”

“Okay, no worries. Y/N and I will have a great time together without you.” Yixing teased her, ruffling her hair. She pushed him away with a scowl. He had always treated Marie like a little sister, which made you laugh because she was usually so tough and headstrong.

He turned back towards you. “Text me which hotel you’re at, and we can meet up around 7 if that’s okay?”

You nodded, smiling brightly at him. “It’s a date!” You cringed internally. Why would you say that?

He said his goodbyes and left the room, leaving you and Marie to yourselves.

“You’re welcome, by the way.” she huffed, punching you on the arm lightly.

“For what?” you asked, grabbing your purse.

“For making up that lie about my shoulder so you could have a dinner alone with Yixing.” she grinned, taking a few swigs from her water bottle before continuing. “I’m missing out on a great dinner just so you can make a move with your crush, so you better not waste it.”

—————

“And so I’m standing there in the middle of the subway in a Sailor Moon costume, looking around for my members, and they’re just nowhere to be seen! I had to take the subway all the way back to the dorms in that ridiculous outfit!”

Yixing threw his head back in laughter at your story, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth. “Oh my gosh, they did not leave you there by yourself!”

“Yes they did! And that’s why you don’t leave the group to get coffee after shooting a music video.” you concluded, rolling your eyes.

He was rolling, small tears forming in the corners of his eyes from how hard he was laughing. “Ah, that’s too funny. I mean, not for you, but… as a listener.”

You nodded, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear. “No it’s okay. It’s unfortunate, but hilarious.”

“I’m so glad I asked you out to dinner tonight.” he commented, eyes looking into yours and sparkling with sincerity. “I meant it when I said I’ve missed you.”

“I did too. It’s not the same without you there.” you replied.

He seemed to be reaching across the table for your hand. Your heart stopped in anticipation.

Ring! Ring! Ring!

You squinted your eyes and exhaled an annoyed sigh. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, go ahead and answer it.” he chuckled awkwardly.

You practically ripped your phone out of your purse and hit the answer button, hardly even looking at who it was. “What?!” you spat.

“Y/N! For the love of god check your phone!” Nabi screeched on the other end of the line.

“Nabi? Why, what’s going on? Are the girls okay?” you asked worriedly.

“Yeah, we’re all fine! Just check your phone!” your leader demanded, then hung up the phone.

You looked over at Yixing in confusion.

“Everything okay?” he asked, concerned.

“I don’t know. Nabi just screamed at me to check my phone.” you shrugged, beginning to scroll through your text messages. First was the group chat you had with the members.

Nabi 🦋: “Y/N Y/L/N YOUVE GOT SOME EXPLAINING TO DO”

Marie 🐈‍⬛: “Relax, I just ditched dinner so she could be alone with Yixing. They’re not dating yet. No one call her, you’ll ruin their date.”

Iseul 🐶: “YES! FINALLY!”

Kaori 🐥: “Wait, Y/N and Yixing are dating???”

Iseul 🐶: “Y/N? Who asked who out?”

Kaori 🐥: “I’m so glad my parents are finally together :)”

Nabi 🦋: “CALL ME RN.”

Marie 🐈‍⬛: “You guys are literal idiots.”

You knit your brows in confusion before switching over to your other text messages. Why were they talking about you and Yixing dating? And how did they even know you were out with him?

Yeri 💜: “bestie, have you seen this?” *article attached*

Taeyong 🌹: “Y/N, have you been on twitter recently? There’s some stuff you might wanna see…”

Ten 🐱: “WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME YOU WERE GOING OUT WITH YIXING?! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS 😭”

Karina ❤️: “yessss get it girl!” *photo attached*

Manager 🫡: “Call me when you get a chance. It’s important.”

Yixing reached for your hand again, actually holding it this time. “Y/N… what’s going on?”

You looked at him helplessly, feeling your heart swell with anxiety. “There’s dating rumors about us. I’m guessing the fans saw us on that tv show and then saw us here together.”

He looked like he was about to say something, but was interrupted by his own cell phone ringing loudly in his pocket.

He sighed, grabbing his coat. “Let’s go to my place. I have a feeling we’ll be sorting this out all night.”

—————

You had just gotten back to Yixing’s place, and were currently sitting on the sofa waiting for your manager to pick up his phone. He had gone into his bedroom to talk to his own manager, telling you to just make yourself comfortable.

You tapped your foot anxiously as your phone rang. You had no idea what your manager was going to say. Would he be angry? Understanding? Just as confused as you were?

“Hey Y/N.” he finally answered.

“Hey.” you sighed, feeling your stomach turn. You prepared yourself for the worst.

“How are you holding up kid?” he asked, seemingly genuinely concerned.

“About as good as I can. I still don’t really know what’s going on.” you replied.

“Well, I just got done talking to the company. They said the response is mostly positive. They’ve given you the okay to confirm the relationship.”

Your eyes widened in disbelief. That was pretty much the opposite of what you were expecting to hear. “Really?”

“Yeah, it’s really interesting. Apparently they saw the two of you hugging and bantering on that idol show you’re on right now and thought it was really sweet. Then someone posted that picture of the two of you at that restaurant and the comments were just flooded with approval.” he laughed, seemingly just as perplexed as you were. “I’ve gotta say, I have to agree with them. You guys do look good together.”

You chuckled, pushing your hair back in amazement. “Oh my gosh. I have no idea what to do now.”

“Are you with Yixing right now?” your manager asked.

“Mmhm. He’s in the other room talking to his manager.” you replied.

“Okay. You two can talk it over for a bit. Let me know what decision you come to.” he instructed. “Take care, kid.”

“Okay, I will. Talk to you in a bit.” you told him, hanging up the phone. You sighed in relief, tossing your phone onto the coffee table. You sunk down onto the sofa and shut your eyes, rubbing them slightly.

Suddenly, Yixing emerged from the hallway. He chuckled at your disheveled appearance, walking over to sit down next to you. “You good?”

“Honestly, I’m better off than I thought I would be.” you answered with an amused smirk. “My manager just told me the response is mostly positive.

“Mine said the same thing.” he nodded. “Now it’s just up to us.”

You sat up, folding your hands in your lap. “So, what do we want to do?”

He shrugged casually. “I’d like to confirm it.”

Your heart stopped. “You do?”

He smiled, dimples showing prominently. “Y/N, I’ve had a crush on you for years. Now thanks to the fans, I might actually have a chance with you.

Your face broke out into an enormous grin, and you began to feel butterflies in your stomach. This was really too good to be true.

“Alright, I’ll call my manager and tell him to confirm it.” you beamed, reaching for your phone.

He grabbed your wrist delicately, stopping you. “Wait, just a second…” He then leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on your cheek.

Your face heated up, and you touched your hand to your cheek lightly, looking at him perplexedly. “What was that for?”

“For giving me a night I’ll never forget.”

Baekhyun:

It was the fans’ dream come true. A collab between SuperM and GOT the Beat. All the male and female legends of SM were going to be together in one music video.

You were all currently shooting the music video. The director’s vision was to mix up the different ages and genders in individual cuts to showcase the true unity of the super groups. Taemin, Hyoyeon, and Kai were put together since they were a fan favorite grouping. Taeyong and Taeyeon were another paring. Ten and Seulgi were partners, as well as Mark and Iseul. Then, Karina and Winter did their section together. BoA, Wendy, and Lucas were the last trio. That left you and Baekhyun, who had been your idol and celebrity crush since you were 16.

Karina and Iseul winked at you before walking off into their own groupings, making you scowl and roll your eyes. You turned back to Baekhyun with a weak smile, bowing politely.

“It’s so nice to meet you formally.” you stammered meekly. “I’m a huge fan. You’re actually one of my biggest inspirations as a main vocalist.”

Damnit, you thought, that probably made me sound like such a nerd.

Baekhyun’s face lit up in the most genuine smile, he was practically giggling in contentment at your confession. “That’s so wonderful to hear! I’m honored to have inspired the best female vocalist at this company.”

You gasped, eyes going wide. “Oh I’d hardly call myself the best, especially considering what powerhouses I get to work with in GTB!”

He chuckled, crossing his arms and leaning closer to you. “Your nickname is ‘angel voice’ for a reason.” He seemed to be getting more and more comfortable with you by the second. The two of you seemed to just click instantly.

“Would you like to hear a secret?” he practically whispered. You nodded and turnt your ear towards his lips with an intrigued grin. “You give quite a bit of inspiration to me as well Y/N. I might just be your biggest Starlight.”

You gasped again, this time out of excitement. “You’re kidding!” you exclaimed.

He shook his head, playful smile still wide on his face. “Why would I lie to my favorite junior?”

You rolled your eyes and blushed, looking away in embarrassment. He really knew how to fluster you. Luckily, the director had just walked over to you and was about to start shooting.

“Alright Y/N and Baekhyun! We’ve got a lot of good visuals and vocals between the two of you so I’m very excited to shoot these cuts!” she beamed, clapping her hands together. “We’re going to take a teaser photo first, then we’re just going to roll the cameras to get some b roll for the music video.” The both of you nodded understandingly before moving over to the shooting area.

“Let’s start by having Y/N stand in the foreground looking straight at the camera.” the director ordered. “Baekhyun, how about you put an arm around her chest and place the other hand delicately on her waist. Now, tilt your head towards her as if you’re whispering in her ear.”

Your heart stopped as you both assumed the position. You had filmed music videos with other male artists before, so the intimacy wasn’t the issue. It was the fact that Byun Baekhyun was going to be just inches away from your ear and holding you close to him.

You froze as he placed his hand on your waist.

“Is this okay?” he asked softly enough that only you could hear him.

You smiled appreciatively and nodded slightly. He then placed the other arm around your chest and gripped his fingers securely onto your shoulder as if to comfort you. He was really making it easy to lean into his touch, and soon you were comfortably standing there in his arms, giving the camera your best smize.

“You’re breathtaking, Y/N.” he murmured, a wholesome smirk evident on his face. You couldn’t help but flash a huge, toothy grin at his compliment. As soon as you did, the cameras flashed, signaling that your photo had been taken.

“Beautiful, you guys! That was a perfect photo!” the director praised. “We don’t even need to take a second one. Now just do your thing while we roll the cameras for some b roll.”

“The camera loves us together.” Baekhyun commented, resting his head on your shoulder with a sigh.

You glanced down at him with a teasing side eye, clamping your hands onto the arm he had around your chest. “Well, the camera’s apparantley not the only one.”

“Ah, so sassy for a junior.” he scoffed, leaning closer to your ear. “Someone should teach you a thing or two about respecting your elders.” he hissed out teasingly.

“And are you going to be that someone?” you chuckled, an amused grin making its way onto your expression despite how hard you tried to fight it.

“I might be.” he grinned, rocking you in his arms a bit. “But I’d have to take you out first.”

You turned around to face him, forgetting about the cameras in front of you for a second. “Are you genuinely asking me out on a date?” you inquired.

“That’s usually what someone means when they say they’d like to take you out. Unless they’re an assassin.” he chuckled, placing his hands on your hips.

You laughed nervously, gripping onto his arms with your hands. “Baekhyun, I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I mean, we’re idols. I know we don’t have a dating ban anymore, but it’s still risky.”

“I’m willing to take that chance.” he reassured you, staring into your eyes with a carefree smile. “You’d be worth it, without question.”

You grinned uncontrollably wide, glancing down at the floor bashfully. “I… I just don’t know.”

“Think about it, okay?” he practically pleaded.

You looked up into his big brown puppy dog eyes, which were glimmering with hope and sincerity. It was impossible to say no. “Okay, I will. I promise.”

“That was incredible guys!” the director suddenly interrupted your intimate moment, making you spring away from each other. “Now let’s do some lip synching to the lyrics!”

—————

The fans’ response the collab was amazing. Many were calling it a shoo-in for song of the year, and one of the best decisions SM had ever made.

“Hey Y/N! Have you read the comments on our music video?” Karina asked you as she approached you in the SM hallway on your way back from vocal practice.

“No, I haven’t gotten the chance to yet.” you explained. “Why?”

She raised her eyebrows at you suggestively. “Well, you definitely should. Apparantley there’s a lot about you and a certain main vocalist you were paired up with.”

Your heart sunk. “Oh no, are the fans upset?”

“No, not at all!” your junior chuckled. “In fact, they’re shipping you guys together.”

You couldn’t help the idiotic smile that flashed onto your face. “Really?”

“Yes, so why don’t you just go out with him already? Taeyong and Ten told me he’s absolutely smitten with you!” Karina whined, tugging on your arm slightly.

You rolled your eyes, pushing her away. “Shouldn’t you be getting to your dance practice, Miss Leader?”

She gasped and began to take off down the hall. “Shoot, you’re right! See you later, Y/N!”

You chuckled at her silliness, then leaned up against the wall and whipped out your phone. You pulled up the music video and began scrolling through the comments.

Wow, Y/N and Baekhyun look really good together <3

Y/N-hyun is my new favorite ship 👀

Anyone else think Baekhyun and Y/N would make the best power couple in kpop history???

You let out a baffled scoff at the positive response. Maybe it was silly to be so worried about dating him. Suddenly, you took off down the hallway with renewed purpose, knowing exactly where you had to go.

As you arrived at Baekhyun’s studio, you knocked on the door and waited for him to answer. And he did, peering out with a smile and fixing his hair at the sight of you.

“Y/N? What are you-“

He was cut off by you grabbing his face and delicately pressing your lips against his. It was just a small peck, but it was ever so sweet, and let him know just how you felt about him.

“I thought about it.” you said once you pulled away. “Let’s go out.”

He put his hands on your hips, grinning from ear to ear. “Thank god. I was starting to think you didn’t like me.” He leaned down to kiss you again, longer and more passionately than the last time.

Chen:

“That was awesome, Kaori!” you complimented your maknae from the other side of the recording booth. She had just finished her rap feature for one of the songs on your solo album. “You’re good to go, kid.”

“You sure?” she asked, removing her headphones. “I can stay and help you with the rest if you want.”

“Nah it’s cool, you’re a growing girl. You need your sleep.” you told her with a reassuring smile. “Besides, you know how particular I am about things.”

“Alright mom.” she chuckled, rolling her eyes playfully. “Just don’t pass out in the studio again. Nabi ran all over like a mad woman trying to find you last time.”

“I promise I won’t. I’ll see you back at the dorms in the morning.” you replied, waving her off.

You sighed as the door shut behind her, slumping down in your chair. You moved on to organizing all your tracks and adjusting them to your liking. It was a tedious process, but you knew it would be worth it when your solo album was finally out. You wanted to do this, for yourself and for your fans.

After what felt like a few hours of working, someone came through the door. You huffed irritatedly.

“Kaori, I told you to go to sleep…” you stopped mid-sentence as you realized the person at the door was definitely not Kaori. “Oh, Chen! What are you doing here?”

He chuckled at your sudden change of attitude. “Oh, I was working in the studio at the end of the hall and heard someone tinkering around on my way out. I thought I’d check it out.” He sat down in the chair next to yours. “How long have you been at this?”

You glanced at the clock. How the hell was it 3 am? You sighed before answering him. “Five hours, I suppose”

He pressed his lips together and nodded understandingly. “Yeah, that’s about what I figured. Come on, we’re taking a break.” He patted your shoulder and stood up from his chair.

“What? No, I can’t…” you protested, gesturing to the monitor in front of you.

“You most certainly can.” he retorted, putting his hands on his hips assertively, but still keeping a smile on his face. “Let’s go get you some food and water, and we’ll come right back. It won’t take more than ten minutes.”

You sat there for a moment, just staring at him blankly, not quite knowing what else to say that might make him give up.

“Don’t make me use my dad voice.” he threatened.

“Alright, I’m going…” you sighed defeatedly, grabbing your coat as you stood up and followed him out into the hallway.

—————

He was true to his word, the walk to the convenience store and back only took about ten minutes. You were now back in the recording room, snacks strewn about everywhere, going over your tracks with Chen.

“I think this is really solid!” he complimented you. “Obviously you’ll want to do a few tweaks here and there, but this is really good. You should be proud.”

“Awh, thanks Chen!” you replied gratefully. “One of the things I was thinking about doing was…”

The two of you went back and forth bouncing ideas between each other, adjusting parts of the songs and making them perfect.

“Okay, I’m gonna save your original, but I’ll tweak it how I would do it, and then I’ll show it to you.” he proposed, taking over the sound board. “Just hang tight for a sec, okay?”

“Roger that.” you told him, giving him a thumbs up. You rested your head against your arms, which were folded up on the desk in front of you. Suddenly it hit you how tired you were. Your eyelids felt like they weighed 100 pounds, and the soft clicks of Chen using the keyboard seemed to be lulling you off to sleep like a metronome. Before you could stop yourself, your eyes closed for the last time, and you were dozing off right there in the studio.

“Okay, I’m done…” he stated, swiveling around to face you. He chuckled as he realized you had fallen asleep right next to him. “This kid…” he laughed, shaking his head. He pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of you, posting it on instagram and tagging Etoile’s account.

Hey Starlight, just thought you’d like to know how hard your main vocal is working on her solo album! I know I can’t wait for it to come out!

He clicked the post button, then shoved his phone back in his pocket. He saved all your work, then shut off all the lights and machines. Once everything was taken care of, he grabbed one of your arms and threw you over his back, beginning to carry you back to the dorms.

—————

Needless to say, you were highly confused when you woke up in your own bed the next day. Furrowing your brows, you threw on your slippers and walked out into the dining room to see Nabi and Kaori at the table eating breakfast.

“There’s our sleeping beauty.” Nabi teased with a loving smirk. “Got in pretty late last night, huh?”

“Dude, I don’t even know how I got home.” you yawned, trudging over to the coffee pot.

“Oh, you don’t remember? Chen brought you home!” Kaori told you. “He said you passed out in the studio again.

“Yeah, the fans are talking about the picture he posted. They think it’s super cute.” Nabi explained, pulling up the post on her phone.

You took a sip of your coffee before grabbing the phone from her hand. You smiled as you read the caption, then began scrolling through the comments.

awh, chen is such a good big brother to our y/n! 🥺

thank you for saving y/n from nabi’s wrath XD

look at chen being a proud dad, i’m sobbing 😭

i love the wholesome sibling vibes these two have!

You grinned as you gave Nabi her phone back. “He is kind of like an older brother. That was really sweet of him to bring me home. I should thank him.”

You sat down at the table with your coffee and pulled out your phone, only to see that he had already texted you.

Chen ✌🏻: “Just so you know, I’m making you feature in one of MY solo songs sometime soon. I can already tell your album is going to be huge, and I need your talents 👀”

You laughed at his demanding tone, typing up your own reply.

Y/N 🦢: “aye aye cap’n 🫡 also thanks for getting me home last night :)”

Chen ✌🏻: “No problem, just don’t pass out in the studio again or Nabi and I will BOTH come after you 👊🏻”

“So if you’re my mom, and Chen is your big brother, does that make him my uncle?” Kaori asked with a confused expression.

“I guess so.” you shrugged with a smile. Your found family at SM just seemed to keep growing and growing, but you couldn’t complain. It was nice to work with people who cared about you, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

#exo x reader #exo imagines #exo request #exo reactions #exo writing #exo fluff #exo fanfic #exo scenarios #xiumin x reader #xiumin imagines #suho imagine #suho x reader #lay x reader #lay imagines #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun fluff #chen exo

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paintingwhiteceilings · 1 year ago

Text

❃How EXO acts around their crush❃

a/n: This is 10000% just for my own pleasure. I may have had this in my drafts for weeks... I am totally okay with all the Kyungsoo solo content and EXO ladder dropping. Totally. Super functional, delusional who?

ALSO to any EXO-L that are sharing Chen's LEAKED wedding photos. Please be respectful and either delete them or, at the very least, blur out his wife's face. Chen has gone to great lengths to safeguard her privacy, as she is not famous nor wants to be in the spotlight. Not to mention that there could be crazy sasaengs out there with ill intent. Sharing her info is basically doxing, and it is insane to me how many people shared these posts without much thought. Anyway, I needed to share my frustrations.

Xiumin/Minseok:

✾ He is a lot shyer than the other members; where most of EXO probably feels comfortable enough to act on their crushes, he is a bit more reserved. He wants to test the waters first, ascertaining whether the feeling is mutual. Whenever you are around and are talking to other people, he sits back silently, observing your reactions.

✾ Xiumin is smiling so widely around you that the other members worry that his muscles might start cramping up soon. The moment he sees you, his bubbly personality starts to really shine through, and sometimes you can't help but wonder whether this man truly is 33.

✾ That being said, from the moment that anyone offers Xiumin a couple of drinks, his confidence spikes, and he will start flirting with you. His flirting is still extremely sweet and cute; Xiumin can be incredibly charming when he wants to be.

Suho/Junmyeon

✾ He is such a gentleman around you, trying to make you feel at ease with his kind gestures. Whether it is him pulling back a chair or opening a door for you, he will do anything to make you feel like a princess.

✾ Being one of EXO's proud black card owners, he will casually buy you whatever you need. He keeps repeating that he wants to treat his friends when you try to interject. You can't completely refute it; he does spend a lot of money on the members. Yet, you can't help but feel like his gifts are slightly too expensive and excessive for 'just friends'.

✾ So. Many. Soft. Glances. Suho looks at you like you hung the moon and the stars; you catch him staring at you almost every time you look over. Conversations with him can, therefore, be a tad awkward. He doesn't always register what you are saying; he is so absorbed in watching you that he forgets to listen.

✾ The other members relentlessly tease him for it. If you don't catch on based on Suho's actions, you will definitely catch on due to his members' relentless teasing. Whenever he does anything remotely romantic around you, their faces light up like Christmas came early. The members are not subtle about it whatsoever, thoroughly enjoying putting their leader in a slightly uncomfortable position.

Baekhyun:

✾ The members didn't think it was possible, but Baekhyun somehow became louder. It is as if he wants to draw your attention simply by screaming, as he no longer has any volume control when you are around. Everyone can hear your conversation from across the room, and his laughter becomes borderline obnoxious as it overpowers any other sound.

✾ He is such a tease and a suggestive one at that. Considering he has no problem revealing intimate, not suitable to be aired on national TV, details about the members' bodies, he won't have any trouble suggestively flirting with you. Where Xiumin's pick-up lines are cute, Baekhyun's are far from it. Give this man some holy water, Jesus.

✾ He is so intense with his flirting that it sometimes crosses the line of sexy to parody, coming off as a joke. Baekyhyun has a very flirty personality and isn't above flirting with his friends. Even though he isn't subtle about his crush, he can accidentally fall into the "he flirts with everyone" category, making you question whether he genuinely likes you or is just being friendly.

✾ He really enjoys the chase when it comes to relationships. Thus, it will take him quite some time before he asks you out, simply because he likes the push-and-pull game.

Chanyeol

✾ There is nothing subtle about Mr. Park Chanyeol. The moment he sees someone he wants to date, he is going for it full steam ahead. Puppy Chanyeol is momentarily retired as he makes his way over to you; Chanyeol knows that he is handsome and sexy, and he is ready to show it to you. I hope you weren't interested in anyone else because the moment you return any of his interest, he will be flirting with you like there is no tomorrow.

✾ Internally, he is so excited to be talking to you, and sometimes, you will see glimpses of his cute puppy-like persona, especially once he feels like you are just as interested. Still, the words coming out of this man's mouth, Jesus part two. Please go and ask Baekyhun to pass the holy water.

✾ That being said, he will get embarrassed when the other members are around or slightly bashful when you return his flirting at full force. I don't think Chanyeol is used to anyone sharing his level of intensity, so once you do, he gets a bit flustered. He absolutely loves it, though. Your compliments got him grinning from ear to ear.

D.O./Kyungsoo

✾ Don't get me wrong, I adore this man to a delusional extent, but he is absolutely hopeless when it comes to communicating with his crush. He won't go anywhere near you if he can't help it; he prefers looking at you from afar. He is someone who favours being approached first over approaching you himself. It isn't that he doesn't want to talk to you; he simply isn't the type of person to initiate contact with his crush and tends to stay back when he can tell that someone else is interested, too.

✾ Even if he finds himself near you, don't expect him to have a full-blown conversation with you. He already tends to be a man of little words, but when it comes to you, he is a man of not a single word. Being around you is enough to make him happy; he doesn't really need to have a deep conversation.

✾ Nevertheless, his actions make more than up for it. He is such a gentleman, being the definition of preferential treatment. You don't have a chair to sit on? He will quietly offer you his. Your sweater got caught on something? He will silently help you get it out. Although he may not say much to you, he communicates his feelings through his actions.

Kai/Jongin

✾ If you think Xiumin or Kyungsoo are shy, you have not yet met Kai with a crush. He turns into absolute mush the moment he sees you, giggling and blushing whenever you do as much as breathing. You can't even see him because he has resorted to hiding behind the other members, preferably Sehun or Chanyeol, as they are tall enough to obscure him completely.

✾ If he somehow musters up the courage to talk to you, good luck having it go anywhere because he can barely make it through a sentence without giggling. It is obvious to everyone around him that he is smitten with you; his laughs are awkwardly loud, and his eyes are literally shooting hearts.

✾ The moment he manages to ask you to dance, his shy demeanour completely changes. His movement… His expressions… The way he is smirking at you… Maybe you should go and ask Chanyeol whether there is anything left of the holy water he borrowed from Baekyhun.

Sehun

✾ He has one of two ways of acting around his crush: either he acts super bratty or becomes painfully shy. It depends on whether he has met and talked to you before. But, if you are complete strangers, he would be so quiet, hiding in the furthest corner he can find.

✾ He will pester the members to go over and collect as much information as they can about you. They will do it because he will whine the entire night about it if they don't and, repeat with me, what Sehun wants, Sehun gets. The members try to convince Sehun to go talk to you himself, but Sehun stubbornly refuses. Bro will be playing the Maknae card harder than he ever has in his entire life.

✾ In the end, he will drag Suho with him, trying to 'casually' strike up a conversation with you. The small talk is painful, and in all honesty, Suho, with his dad jokes, isn't helping in the slightest. At the very least, it provides the two of you with a new conversational topic: the teasing of Suho.

masterlist

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xiubaek-13 · 2 months ago

Text

Requested: No

Genre: Canon-AU, smut

Pairing: ? (at this stage undecided) x Reader or is it Baekhyun x Reader ?

Warnings: 18+ fic, minors DNI! angst, fluff, suggestive text, making out, confessions of feelings. Not many warnings for this one but she's deeply in her head for a decent portion of this chapter.

Word Count: 22,599

A/N: Here it is. The final chapter. Like most of my writing in the back half of this fic, it was supposed to be considerable shorter but then I let the brain worms control my fingers and now you get this behemoth of an ending. It's only had one very quick edit so I hope it makes sense and isn't a let down.

7 years ago I knew the ending for this fic, but when I was plotting out the chapter that ending simply didn't fit anymore so we've got a new ending and I hope it doesn't let you down.

The flight home left you with a lot of time to think. You had asked Minseok and Baekhyun to let the rest of the guys know about your meeting, telling them that Junmyeon could probably fill in more of the details that you’d left out when you’d broken the news to them. Your mind had been focused on getting to Minseok’s reward at the time, so discussing the feedback you’d received in great detail was not front of mind.

Feeling overwhelmed with your own thoughts, you’d also asked them to tell everyone that you had requested some space. From them. You just couldn’t handle any of them right now. You’d assured Minseok & Baek when you’d all woken up the next morning that they hadn’t overstepped or done anything, but that your mind was too busy and too much for you right now. The internal storm had been brewing for quite some time but you’d constantly pushed it down, too busy to deal with silly things like the future, feelings and relationships. But once the tour ended and the rewards were completed (inconveniently on the same night) it all came crashing down on you. The floodgates had been opened and you didn’t know how to act normal and not drown in your own mind at the same time. You needed space to simply exist. Space to sort out your mind before you did something utterly stupid and reckless. You’d promised to never disappear on them again without talking to them, and whilst you felt a bit guilty for withdrawing from them like that you had provided warning, and as much context as you could. Baekhyun refused to let you leave until you promised him you weren’t self-destructing. That you weren’t going to disappear and not respond to them.

“You said you wouldn’t do that again. You said you’d lean on at least one of us when you were struggling.” He said, his eyes full of concern as he watched you nervously pace around the room.

“It’s different this time. I’m not sad, or feeling lonely or headed to a dark place mentally.” You stopped in the middle of the room as you tried to hold off the panic attack that you could feel building within you. You needed to go. You needed to be away from it all. You needed them to understand. “It’s just loud. And overwhelming. And I need time to be by myself to sort through everything.”

“But you’re asking us to not contact you.” He looked down at his hands. “How will we know if you’re ok?”

“It won’t be for long. I hope. Just give me a week, then Minseok or Kyungsoo can check in to make sure I’m ok.” You said.

“Why not me?” He asked so quietly that you barely heard the words.

“Because I know they’ll just check in with me and nothing more until I’m ready to chat.” You smiled at him. “You wouldn’t be able to help yourself. You yap. It’s just part of who you are.”

“I hate this.” He grumbled.

“I don’t like it either, but I’ll do it.” Minseok replied. He looked worried for you as well, but he could tell you weren’t going to bend on this request. He didn’t want to back you into a corner. He knew if any of them did that, they ran the risk of you running from them. He hated to see you struggle with your thoughts but he hoped he knew you well enough to know that you’d reach out if you needed to lean on them. Even if you weren’t ready.

“Fine. I’ll do it as well, but know that I truly do not like this. Not one bit.” He sighed, resigned to your decision. He realised his words may have come across too harsh when he saw guilt flash across your features. “I’m sorry. I’m not mad. I’m just worried and wish I, or any of us, could help.”

You nodded. “I get it. I would hate it if any of you did this to me. Trust me I feel shitty about it, but I need to go deal with some stuff that I’ve been putting to the side because I simply didn’t have time to process it.” You shifted nervously on your feet, itching to leave the room. You felt your heart rate increase, and breathing was becoming difficult. You had to leave before your panic was obvious to them. You weren’t sure why you were so wound up this morning, but you knew you just needed to get away from the people who paid too much attention to you. “I’m sorry, but I have to go.”

You knew that they had conveyed your wishes when the group chat you’d been added to, one that had been busy that morning with members arguing over the best American breakfast sandwich, just stopped. The messages just abruptly ended. It left a bittersweet feeling in your heart. On one hand, they were only respecting your request for space to think, but on the other, having nine large personalities all fall quiet at the same time made you feel lonely. You hadn’t realised how much they had integrated themselves into your life, and you theirs until then. You might not see them every day but their presence was always felt. Through messages bickering with each other, reminding you to eat, dumb selfies, silly jokes, recommendations for movies or tv shows, unflattering photos of the others. They were always there. Until now. Now it was as though they’d all simply ceased to exist. It was weird. It felt wrong.

You’d travelled back to Korea with the other staff members. No one found that strange as there was no reason for any of the guys to request your presence for a lesson - the tour was over. You mindlessly watched movies until you fell asleep. Dealing with the onslaught of thoughts and feelings was not something you were going to do on a long haul flight. Having a breakdown 30,000 feet above the ocean was not on your bucket list. Did you shed a tear or two at certain scenes in the movies you watched because they reminded you of certain people? Maybe. But lucky for you the staff were all equally exhausted and happy to sleep for the majority of the return trip. Once you landed the guys were called to the company whilst you and multiple other staff members were told to go home and rest. You were beyond thankful to be told to go home because that was the only thing you wanted to do. You wanted the safety of the familiar four walls of your apartment. The comfort of your bed. Maybe all you needed was a really long sleep and then you’d be less of an emotional wreck. You didn’t think you’d overworked yourself but maybe you were wrong?

It was quiet in your apartment. Not that that was a new thing. No, the new thing was that you knew it would remain quiet. There would not be a knock on your door from a bored neighbour who wanted to raid your snack cupboard and hide from their roommates. There would be no flurry of messages to your phone or late night calls. It was probably a good thing. If this feeling that you were experiencing, like teetering on the edge of an abyss of panic, was anything to go by then you were probably deluding yourself if you thought it was purely related to being exhausted from work.

No, if you actually thought about it, you realised that it was the culmination of a few things. First there was the fact that your contract was over and you didn’t know what was next for you, or how their CEO would respond to the work you’d done. Second was the fact that you had been sexually intimate with each of the members. You thought you’d kept the interpersonal relationship side of things separate from the sex but now your mind was throwing every ‘what if’ in the book at you. Were they your friends?, were they colleagues?, did any of them now want nothing to do with you because you’d been with the others?, did any of them want more from you?, did you want more from any of them?, did you ruin everything? Your mind was in full spiral mode, with no exits in sight. You were unfortunately in for the ride, even if you did not want to be.

You knew you needed to sit down and dwell in your thoughts and work out what to do about the nine very special men who were woven into your heart, each one you had slept with, but did you feel something more than friendship and attraction to any of them? Was it simply a working relationship that you’d sprinkled some highly unprofessional fun into or did you have romantic interest in any or all of them? You’d avoided thinking about this very thing for weeks now, always telling yourself that you were too busy with lessons. Now you were forced to address it. No one would come distract you, and there was no work to be done, and if you didn’t address it? Well it seemed like you were destined for a full blown mental breakdown if you left it to fester.

You were officially off the clock until the CEO summoned you so you had nothing but time to sit and dwell on your thoughts and feelings. Naturally you decided to clean your apartment instead. Then reorganise the kitchen, do all of your washing, make your bed and organise your desk. It was when your thumb was hovering over the call button for your parents that you snapped out of your procrastination spiral and forced your brain to start unraveling the mess that was your relationship with the EXO members.

Like every other time you’d had to solve a seemingly large problem, you took out a notebook and pen and began to make notes. It wasn’t a pros and cons list, rather, it was your jumbled thoughts spewed out onto a page. You’d always worked best with problem solving when you had something to annotate. You needed visual logic cues if you were to concentrate on this long enough to deal with it. When you looked down at the page it was one very messy web of unfiltered thoughts. Seeing it all on the page didn’t ease your worries like it usually did. For some reason this felt bigger, like it was more important than you could perceive.

The crux of the issue still seemed to be that they were your friends before you took on the role of teaching them English, then after they became colleagues you rather quickly implemented the reward system. Then came the issue of involving sex, but honestly, apart from some prying and joking the guys hadn’t changed in how they acted towards you. If anything some were more affectionate with you but that was never in a sexual way. They understood that the system was there for the lessons and if you excluded Minseok and Baekhyun - all sex acts were contained within the lesson rewards or punishments. Yixing was playful, but only because he knew he could get away with it. He never tried for more than being close to you, and you knew he cared about you (especially since the day at the Han River, and because he wasn’t always around), but you didn’t think he was pining for you though it was sometimes difficult to gauge what he was feeling. Junmyeon was a gentleman and rarely brought up anything to do with the reward arrangement. Chanyeol, Jongdae and Sehun liked to make suggestive comments and jokes but that was mostly in. Sehun had been clingy before all of this anyway. Kyungsoo was another who was difficult to read. He’d never tried anything after the reward, but he was sweet to you, and very familiar with you in a way he hadn’t been beforehand. Jongin was a sweetheart before and after, and you were pretty sure his reward was just an experience for him and nothing more. Minseok and you… well that has basically been a friends with benefits situation however neither of you appeared to be trying to push that arrangement into something more at present. You were both more than capable of hanging out and not fucking.

Baekhyun presented a whole other problem. Your relationship with him had never been normal. The sexually charged banter had been there from the very beginning and only built as things went on. The day at the Han River proved that he cared about you enough to find you and help you. You enjoyed his company which wasn’t to say you didn’t enjoy all of their company, but with him it was different. Wasn’t it? You weren’t sure. The relationship that grew between the two of you had been sexually charged thanks to your drunken flirting very early on in the scheme of things but he’d never shied away from it - as long as you weren’t a drunken mess. The flirting had continued and your encounters always seemed to teeter on the precipice of taking that next step, but ended in delayed gratification so it was impossible for you to decipher if you had felt so strongly because you’d craved his body and his touch or if it was something more.

You paused in your deliberations to order some food. All this thinking was making you hungry and your mother had always told you to never make important decisions while hungry. It was something you’d lived by and you weren't about to stray from it now. A decision made while hungry could very well just be the impulsive choice rather than the choice you might make once hunger wasn’t making you impatient. Hangry was never a helpful state to be in.

What were you even trying to figure out? Did you want to date all of them? Was that even a possibility? It would be hard enough to date one idol, let alone nine of them. How would that work? You knew people back home who were in successful polycules but like, they were on the smaller side and had a more even split of gender. That and the fact that they weren’t also hugely famous in a highly conservative country and would receive backlash for anyone they dated. If you dated all nine of them, you would be the only woman and as far as you were aware, none of them were all that interested in exploring each other in that way. Did you feel that way about them? I felt like it had to be an all or nothing situation for it to be fair. You didn’t ask your brain what kind of logic that was because it made sense to you at the time. So would you be ok if you didn’t pursue anything more with any of them? Would remaining close friends with them be enough for you, or them? God you hadn’t even considered if any of them were romantically interested in you. How embarrassing would it be to make a decision only for it to be the opposite of their decision? Could your heart handle that rejection if you were dealing with freshly discovered feelings? You stood up and did a full body shake in a feeble attempt at releasing the building anxiety from your body. You needed to focus on one question at a time. Were you romantically interested in all of them?

You weren’t sure. It was complicated.

If you didn’t want all of them, would you be fine with just being friends with them?

Again, you weren’t sure. All this thinking was making your head hurt. The lack of answers you were providing yourself wasn’t helping your anxiety in the slightest. Maybe you should just finish your food, go to bed and try again in the morning? You probably had jet lag. That couldn’t be helping.

Did you want any of them in that way? Did any of them want you in that way? If you were just friends with them, would you be ok watching them date other people? Could you be happy for them? Your heart felt heavy and you were no closer to working out why. You closed your notebook and got into bed, hoping the cocoon of your blankets could wash away some of the worries and panic.

Sleep was elusive. You tossed and turned for what felt like the entire night because you could not switch your brain off. It wasn’t supplying any new information nor was it being productive in any way. No, instead it was showing you all of the worst case scenario outcomes from your possible decisions. Thoughts of being doxxed for dating any of them, sasaengs hurting you or any of them, calls from antis to have the group disband or certain members thrown out. All of it haunted your sleep deprived brain. When your thoughts drifted to the possibility of you being deported over dating any of them, you finally heaved a sigh, called your mind an idiot and somehow fell asleep. It was more likely that you passed out from exhaustion at that point, too drained mentally to remain conscious. The dreams were just snapshots of all these awful thoughts. Your subconscious must have felt bad for you as it sprinkled in small glimpses of the happy endings where everything worked out. Little bursts of colour surrounded these moments, like it was really trying its best to show you there could be good outcomes.

Warmth and laughter in their company, locked lips and entwined limbs, waking up in someone’s arms, secretive dates, happy smiles. Small glimpses of building a happy home together, of not dating but still hanging out and enjoying being with your friends. Feeling whole, and loved. Even dreaming you were no closer to a resolution than before.

A new day brought distractions. So be it if those distractions were ones you forced upon yourself, they were still distractions dammit. You took yourself out for a walk in a feeble attempt at clearing your mind only to find yourself standing in front of an aquarium in Gangnam. Water always grounded you when your thoughts became too loud, and since you couldn’t sit at the beach, staring out at the waves for hours like you could in your hometown, an aquarium was the next best thing. Something about walking through enclosures below the water with sea life surrounding you was calming. It was serene and quiet. You allowed your mind to go blank as you made your way through the different exhibits, reading the fun facts that were put next to each enclosure.

You learned about the sharks that could reproduce asexually, never needing the company of others to keep themselves afloat. Sharks were always so interesting to watch. A terrifying predator who seemingly feared nothing, but to you they were also these goofy looking creatures because of their teeth. There were too many and they were too sharp but it also made them look kind of ridiculous when they were simply existing. You had an appreciation for them. They were unbothered creatures, content to simply exist, only attacking for survival whether that be for sustenance or to defend themselves. They let specific creatures into their personal space, never attacking them, but seeming to simply coexist. Those suckerfish - that you now found out were actually called Remora - helped the sharks and in turn the sharks helped them. It seemed like a simple relationship. You imagined that one day they just attached themselves to the sharks and never let go and for some reason, the shark just let it happen.

The tropical exhibit was vibrant and massive. You had to stop yourself from reciting lines from Finding Nemo lest you appear like a crazy foreigner talking to themselves. You knew a lot of the facts about these creatures from your studies at school but there were some things they had left out of your textbooks, probably to avoid teachers having to explain certain concepts to children. Concepts like polyamorous fish. Yeah, those existed. Well, technically the marine biologists simply documented that certain species of tropical fish mated with multiple partners. So one couldn’t explicitly state that the fish were polyamorous, but maybe that term was better than saying the fish were swingers. It was a ridiculous concept to think about. The inner working relationships of fish. Maybe you were losing your mind.

You moved on to see the seals being fed. You always found them to be a deceptive creature. ‘Looks like a friend but is most definitely not a friend’ was the label you’d always associated with them. Growing up you’d been to a marine park and been in awe of the cute seals who did tricks for rewards in the form of fish. You even had a photo with a seal posed next to you. You remembered that it was heavy, very wet and its breath stank of fish, but it was pretty chill. Your cousin snuck you into a section you weren’t supposed to go to, where they were rehabilitating other animals - mainly dolphins and seals. He knew about a specific seal species that looked adorable and said he wanted to show it to you. He left out the part where this particular species ate penguins and other seals. He waited until you were home, talking to anyone who would listen about the world’s prettiest seal, about how they must be the sweetest and most amazing seals to ever exist. He waited until you were so enamoured by them that you were almost going to claim them as your new favourite animal to show you a section of a documentary of that specific species hunting. You had nightmares for weeks. Thankfully the seals in this enclosure were not the leopard seals of your childhood nightmares. It did remind you to call your cousin to catch up and remind him of how much he terrorised you as a child.

You spent way too long watching the penguins in the arctic exhibit. They appeared to be nesting, at least that was the conclusion you arrived at. There were penguins lying in little circles made of rocks and ice, a nest you supposed, while their mate searched the enclosure for the perfect pieces of ice and rocks before bringing them back and placing them in the nest (you assumed they were mates since they kept returning to the same nest, never straying to a different penguin. That and you knew penguins mated for life, so if they weren’t mates then they were definitely courting the penguin they thought could be their mate). It was such a simple act but you found that you simply couldn’t leave the viewing window, entranced by such a simple act of love.

When you finally left the aquarium a few hours later you felt more at peace than you had in weeks. By no means was your mind clear, but the chaotic tornado that had taken up residence in there was now more of a light breeze as all your worries quietened down, allowing you to logically sift through them. You allowed yourself to believe that you had in fact, been successful at teaching EXO English. The tour was successful and you hadn’t been required to step in very often during their ments or interviews. For a group with poor prior experience with learning English you had basically done the impossible. You managed to let go of the stigma that had clouded your mind for the past few weeks that was constantly telling you they were only succeeding because of the sex, but really if all they took from your lessons was the sex then they still would have failed miserably at their ments and interviews. Something you did stuck, and whether it was because you were someone they knew and trusted was kind of beside the point. You took the time to learn how each of them would learn the best from you, and tailored sessions to maximise their recall of their ments. And it fucking worked. You should really allow yourself to feel your oats more often than you did. The cloud of self depreciation that had been looming and trying to take root was dissolved. You did a good job. Others had told you so, you knew it to be true. You just had to be consistent in telling your self doubt to go fuck itself when it next tried to diminish your achievements. You felt a little lighter than you had this morning, one less voice causing chaos in your mind.

Riding on your good mood, you decided to take a walk through the nearby night markets, enjoying food from the street vendors and looking at the pretty wares others had on offer. You resisted the urge to buy gifts for the guys - this was a day for you, not a day for you to revert to stressing over if you would be giving a gift as a friend, as a romantic partner, or as a farewell. For now you simply took in the craftsmanship of the trinkets, clothing and jewellery on offer - deciding that you would go to more night markets in the future. The streets were so full of life, bustling with a palpable energy that was infectious. You loved it. The streets were illuminated with soft and pretty lights, making you feel like you were walking through a little fairytale rather than the streets of Seoul. It was an impressive feat for this small section of such a bright and bustling city to achieve.

Eventually you decided it was time to begin the journey back towards your apartment. You wanted to call your family, possibly a friend as well, just to update them on your life as a translator overseas. Now that you actually recognised the work that you had done you knew you could feel confident talking to them about it. Talking about it to someone outside of the business might also help bring other things you were worried about into focus. You headed home with your head held high, finally feeling good about the work you had done these past months.

Speaking with your parents and your closest friend back home helped you unpack more of your thoughts. Ones you wouldn’t have realised if you hadn’t had to conceal certain aspects of your life over here. Describing the boys as acquaintances then colleagues felt weird and wrong, but you knew you had to hide the friendship to an extent. After all, they didn’t know how damaging that kind of news could be if it got out and they would not feel the need to keep that information to themselves. You knew they’d just say you were overreacting if you told them not to tell anyone about it, so you simply kept that from them. It was easier this way even if it felt off. They meant more than you could tell your parents.

You’d always worried that your family wouldn’t be proud of you for taking a job in a foreign country and leaving as quickly as you did. You’d expected to cop an earful from your mother for not calling her more often but you were pleasantly surprised to hear how many questions she had about your work - how was your boss, how did they assign clients, were they treating you well, were the hours humane, were the conditions fair, did you get sufficient pay and time off. The list was endless. You answered all of her questions to the best of your ability without breaching your contract or giving away incriminating details. Your father wanted to know all about your living conditions, was it in a good neighbourhood, was the security good, were you safe, were you being smart when you left the house. You allowed him to nag you since that was his love language - fretting about his daughter's safety. He even convinced you to hang up and call again on video so you could show him your apartment and so they could see your face, to make sure you were being truthful about eating and sleeping well. Definitely not because they also missed you terribly. Once you had appeased them, promising no less than five times that you were keeping out of trouble, were eating well and getting enough sleep, did they allow you to ask them questions about life after you left home. It was comforting to talk to them, even if it made you miss them terribly - you longed for a warm hug from each of them more than you wanted to admit. You dodged questions of romance, citing that you were far too busy with work to date. You also had to explain how dating culture was different here, and once they knew how much faster relationships began your father was much happier to know that you weren’t dating. You’d die if he knew what you had been doing though.

You eventually told them that you were at the end of the current contract you were on and that you were awaiting a final evaluation to see if the company you had been on contract with wanted to keep you on for other projects or if your boss would be assigning you to a new company to work with new artists. Your father could tell from your voice that you were feeling anxious about being in limbo. He told you to rest assured that you did the best work you could, and that your successes would be noticed. He told you that if they renewed your contract that would be great because you already had rapport and knew your way around the company building, feeling comfortable with that environment but he also told you that if they didn’t, that it wouldn’t take long for your boss to find you a new company because of your achievements on your current contract, and that change wasn’t a bad thing. It could lead to bigger and brighter things. Your mother was always good at talking out the minutiae of a problem with you but your father could pinpoint what you needed to hear and ease your busy mind. It was a trait you were thankful he had because it was what you needed right now. You talked for a long time after that, catching up on everything you had missed in their lives, on tv shows, the news, gossip around town. Your mother could harp on about anything if you let her. Eventually you had to try and wind up the conversation, you did have another call to make after all. After promising to call more often they let you go so you could call your closest friend.

Speaking with her went exactly as you thought it would. First there was a lot of nagging about how you never called or told her anything, how you’d abandoned her for the rich and famous clients you had. That you’d probably snagged some uber rich and hot guy and forgotten all about little old her. Then came the endless I miss you’s followed by all the things she’d been dying to tell you. You got wildly sidetracked as you caught up on her life, her new boyfriend, her work, her plans and seemingly endless tangents. She was the kind of friend who could easily take over a conversation, something she had often had to do in the past. There were times where you just preferred to go quiet and let others lead the small talk. You preferred topics that interested you when meeting new people because you had something to contribute, and surface level conversation kind of bored you. You could do it, and did when work required it of you, but in your personal life you were often much more reserved in conversation with strangers. There was probably something to unpack there but you chose to ignore that for now.

You went through a similar interrogation about work and life in Korea with her, though she pressed for far more details than your parents did since she had some idea that you were working with idols. You managed to avoid incriminating yourself in any way but you knew this would not be the last time she pressed you for information. She had a knack for knowing when things were left unsaid, and boy did you leave a lot of things about your situation unsaid. When you got to the topic of your current employment potentially coming to an end she made similar points to your father, though she added that the more people you worked for in the entertainment sector, the more likely it was for you to meet some amazing guy. You almost choked on your laughter at that. Once again you had to promise to contact her more often before she would let you get off the phone with her.

[9:21PM] Your bestest friend in the world: Don’t think for a moment that I didn’t pick up on the fact that something is going on with you.

[9:21PM] Your bestest friend in the world: I won’t push you for an explanation yet, but know that I’m here for you love. Anytime.

She was too perceptive for her own good. You hated and loved her for it.

[9:21PM] You: Nothing gets past you does it? I should have known you’d pick up on it. I’m not ready to talk about it yet, still wading through my thoughts etc. But thank you bby. ILYSM <3

[9:21PM] Your bestest friend in the world: <3 Talk to me when you’re ready to unpack everything in that pretty little head of yours. ILYSM2

The calls left you feeling even more grounded and settled in your emotions. Your mind continued to be quiet and calm as you got ready for bed, hoping you would get a decent night's sleep and continue your ‘me’ time tomorrow. After all you still had to wade through your feelings about the guys, where everything between the lot of you stood now and where things were going. You weren’t sure that you could fully work out your feelings without talking to them, which could go horribly wrong but you were just too confused. You knew one thing for certain, you had to tell them that there had to be no more sex related things between any of you until this whole thing was worked out. That obviously meant no stress relief fucking with Minseok, but also had to include suggestive comments and jokes. You just weren’t sure if anything could be taken at face value, or if there was more to it.

You promised yourself that if you still felt calm and clear in your thoughts by tomorrow afternoon that you would reach out to the guys. Sure they were giving you space now, but you weren’t so naive to believe that this would continue if you reached a week with zero contact. Sure Minseok or Kyungsoo would message you but you’d rather not let it reach that point if you could help it. You knew them well enough to know that they’d start to worry, and then they’d jump to conclusions that it was somehow their fault that you weren’t talking to them. That was something you wanted to avoid. You weren’t the only one capable of spiralling in your thoughts.

***

Thankfully sleep came easily for you. The bed was comfy, the sheets a perfect texture and the room was cool, allowing you to snuggle into a blanket burrito and sleep deeply. You awoke the next day feeling well rested and more at peace than you’d felt in weeks. You promised to give yourself until the afternoon to make contact and you planned on honoring that self imposed promise so you headed out on another stroll since the weather was yet again pleasant. First stop was the coffee shop for your daily dose of sugar in liquid form (also known as an iced chocolate) and a flaky pastry. Today that was a blueberry danish. With your tasty treats in hand, you set off through the closest park, hoping to find a duck pond to sit by while you ate. There was no reason or tradition for the dunk pond, you just liked being near water when you wanted to get lost in thought.

As luck would have it, you did find a pond, sadly barren, with no ducks, but it still had the desired effect of being an idyllic backdrop for you. You made a mental list of the things you needed to complete before returning to your apartment. 1. Get groceries so you could cook yourself some meals for the next week. 2. Buy some new clothes and accessories before the season changes so you wouldn’t be caught out. 3. Visit a nearby corgi cafe so you could give some fluffballs your love. 4. Buy a couple of gifts to send home to your parents and closest friend. It wasn’t too overwhelming, but it should keep you occupied until it was time to reach out to the guys. You probably wouldn’t check off the final item today, that would require a future visit to the night markets.

Groceries were reasonably simple. After talking with your family you suddenly craved a simple western meal so you’d decided on some pan cooked chicken with roasted vegetables and a salad. If you seasoned each chicken breast slightly different it would change up your meals enough each night for you to not grow bored of them. You managed to successfully buy some new clothes and accessories to put away for the next season and then spent two blissfully happy hours at the corgi cafe. You were constantly being prodded with little paws or wet noses asking for pats and treats. You were quite literally covered in fur but you didn’t care. They were so cute and getting to spend time with them really filled the part of you that desperately wanted a pet. You’d have one one day, when the time was right and you could dedicate yourself to training and giving them all the affection in your being.

With a little tri-coloured corgi resting his head on your lap you let your thoughts drift. When would you get the call from Mr. Kim? At this point you just wanted to have your meeting so you could stop weighing up the uncertainty of your professional future. Once that was set then you knew you could much more easily discuss where things either should or should not progress with the guys. That moment of clarity for what you wanted in that respect remained elusive. You knew that you wanted them in your life, and whilst the thought of nothing more than friendship didn’t entirely sit well with you (you still couldn’t pinpoint why that was), you knew you could do that if that’s all they wanted from you. You felt something for each of them but you hadn’t fallen hard for anyone, a feat that you thanked your guarded heart for immensely. There was closeness, attraction and lust but no deep romantic love. You could see yourself falling if you opened your heart to it and if it was reciprocated by them, but for now you were safe from heartbreak if they didn’t have interest in you like that.

You’d thought about what you’d do if more than one, or oddly if all of them wanted some sort of arrangement with you. You’d decided that you weren’t opposed to the idea, but only if certain ground rules were in place to keep everyone safe. If they were opposed to a more polyamorous relationship then you would step back and remain their friend. You refused to allow them to fight and potentially damage their relationships with each other - both personally and professionally - over dating you. It could be seen as a clinical approach but the reality was that they were at the peak of their careers right now and you would not allow the prospect of dating you to get in the way of that. You weren’t that important, you couldn’t be. There was also the secretive nature of whatever relationship you all moved forward with. Male idols were not supposed to be close with other women, that only led to dating scandals which was another thing you wanted to avoid at all costs.

Ultimately you had to talk to the guys and lay all of your thoughts out for them. They had to know where you stood and then you had to give them time to work out where they stood and what they wanted. Would that be an awkward as fuck conversation? Yes. Was it necessary? Also yes. It was time. No more radio silence. No more dwelling. You quickly sent off a message before you could talk yourself into taking another day to sit with your thoughts.

[6:13PM] You: Are you guys busy?

The response was almost instantaneous. You hoped that didn’t mean they were hanging out by their phones waiting to hear from you.

[6:13PM] Junmyeon: Noona! It’s nice to hear from you :)

[6:13PM] Junmyeon: We all just got home. Do you need something?

His words calmed you a little. It was his usual routine to check his phone as soon as he got home. Then he did his best to ignore it for a few hours, only answering if a manager or family member called.

[6:14PM] You: I was hoping I could come up and have a chat with everyone?

[6:14PM] You: But like, only if you’re all free and ok to have me over. I’m sure you’re all still tired.

You might be offering to have this meeting but that did not mean you weren’t incredibly anxious about it. You’d kept your thoughts at bay for almost two days but as soon as you put the talk on the table all of your fears resurfaced. What if they were mad at you? What if you’d read too much into this relationship? What if you caused a rift in the group? You didn’t want to be EXO’s Yoko.

[6:14PM] Junmyeon: Nonsense. Come on up.

[6:14PM] Junmyeon: They’d kill me if I didn’t invite you up here and you know it.

[6:14PM] Junmyeon: All I’ve heard since we boarded the plane is whiny men. Get your ass up here and put me out of my misery!

You laughed at that. You could practically see him pouting as he typed the messages out to you. It didn’t seem like they were mad, but a small part of you also began to worry that they were too prone to overreacting. You shut that down when you reminded yourself that you’d basically cut them off cold turkey right at the end of the tour. The only people who had spent time with you after that final concert were Minseok and Baekhyun, and only them and Junmyeon knew about your meeting, unless they’d told the others about it. After all you had said they could do that.

[6:15PM] You: It’s barely been 36 hours. You guys are maybe a little too codependent on me.

[6:15PM] You: But fine, I’ll be up in like 30 mins. Is that enough time for you to round everyone up?

[6:15PM] Junmyeon: You know we love you, but it was the radio silence and request to not contact you that sent them in a tailspin.

[6:15PM] Junmyeon: Not that I’m mad, just to be clear. I get it, but they lowkey freaked out.

Yeah, that checked out. You needed to just get home and go see your ragtag bunch of idiots who seemed to care about you more than you ever thought they would. However you also need to stop whatever attempt at ‘down with the cool kids’ lingo Junmyeon was trying to achieve. He already got teased enough for being the old man of the group and poorly inserting lingo that was clearly out of place in his vernacular was not going to help him.

[6:15PM] You: Don’t say lowkey, that’s not who you are.

[6:15PM] You: Sehun is probably the only one of you who can get away with saying that. Chanyeol and Baekhyun think they can, but the jury is out on whether or not they can.

[6:15PM] Junmyeon: I’m going to ignore that slander of my character. I’m up on current slang.

You actually facepalmed. Why was he like this? WHY.

[6:16PM] You: Seriously. STOP. You are in no way helping yourself here.

[6:16PM] Junmyeon: 30 minutes is fine. See you soon.

[6:16PM] Junmyeon: Just to check though, should I be emotionally prepared for some heartbreaking and serious talk? You rarely ask to speak to all of us at once.

You supposed it could come off as a we need to talk moment given the lack of context you’d provided. And it kind of was that, but also not? You really didn’t want them to freak out. Nine guys fretting would be too overwhelming for you.

[6:16PM] You: Semi serious, but nothing heavy. I just want to explain myself and where my head has been at so you all understand why I kind of just disappeared.

[6:16PM] Junmyeon: Bet. See you soon then <3

[6:17PM] You: You are too old to be saying bet. Who is teaching you this shit? You know what. Don’t answer that. Just stop saying ‘trend’ words. We both know you’re not cool enough to pull them off. No offence.

[6:17PM] You: See you soon. <3

[6:17PM] Junmyeon: Wow noona. Harsh. My lingo is on fleek, it's rude of you to not realise that.

[6:17PM] You: I’m never going to speak to you again.

[6:17PM] You: And I might have to cause bodily harm to whoever taught you this lingo.

You locked your phone before you cringed at any further attempts at current slang were sent to you. It was go time for you. Whether you were ready or not (you were not), the conversation was happening. Time to get your butt home and face the music. So to speak. You just hoped you weren’t about to fuck it all up.

***

Nine pairs of eyes stared back at you from the various spots in the living room. You stood awkwardly in front of the tv as you contemplated whether or not to find yourself a chair or if you were just going to stand here and speak. The choice ended up being made for you as Yixing brought a chair in for you to sit on. It was still placed in the centre of the room facing all of them, but it felt a little less intimidating to sit before speaking. Yixing’s fingers brushed over your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze, before he moved back towards his place on the lounge.

You cleared your throat and decided to approach this as you would remove a bandaid - quickly. You knew the guys were all wondering what the cause of your no contact rule was and the sooner you put them out of their misery the better. It would be better for you as well because you would get at least this part of the conversation out of your brain. Your time at the aquarium had helped clear your thoughts, as had your walk through the city. You weren’t so sure if the evening sitting in your apartment spiralling in your thoughts helped, so this was your attempt at preventing that from happening again tonight while still putting some space between them and you while you sorted your shit out.

“I uh, I want to apologise for not speaking with any of you properly before we flew back from the tour.” You held up a hand to stop the immediate chorus of responses that were coming from the guys. “Please let me get all of this out before any of you speak otherwise I don’t know if I’ll be able to get through it.” Nine heads nodded at you and waited for you to continue.

“I got really in my head about everything and needed to take a step away from all of it, from everyone, while I tried to settle my thoughts.” You started. “First I worried that I hadn’t done a good job because I’d been unprofessional, but after I let myself spiral I realised that wasn’t true and that I had done a great job. I didn’t get to tell you after the last show ended but I could not be more proud of each and every one of you. Your English improved SO much and whilst a certain amount of that is on me, a huge part of that is on you for applying yourselves to the lessons and the study in order to make those improvements. You should also all be really proud of yourselves for the progress you’ve all made.” You couldn’t help but smile at them, pride shining through you. You were truly impressed at the work they’d put in and the results they’d shown in such a small timeframe. “Were part of the lessons and some of my conduct unprofessional? Yes, but I now believe that none of those things hindered your progress, nor were they the sole motivation for your improvements. Whether I’m wrong or right about this, I’m now choosing to believe that they were a pleasant bonus to all of this.”

Time for the big reveal. The thing that had been weighing on you, causing you to nearly have multiple panic attacks. The thing you were most scared about admitting to them. Would they thing you were overreacting or crazy? Would they understand? “My relationship with all of you also began to get muddled in my head by the end of the tour. We all met before I took on the role of teacher and prior to that we were all friends, and with more than one of you there was also an undercurrent of flirtation - regardless of whether any of us were going to act on it or not. Then I became someone who worked for you, who was quite literally on call for if you needed a lesson, in any setting and at any time of day. We were still friends but it did alter the relationship with you. Then I added in the reward/punishment system and that kind of threw a spanner in the works. We were all close, but inevitably when you add physical intimacy or sex to the equation it blurs the lines. My brain kept spiralling between ‘are we friends, colleagues, fuck buddies, in a relationship, did you never want to see me again, were you going to fight if any of us wanted a romantic relationship…’ so yeah, after the last night in America I withdrew into my head and just needed to be with my thoughts - as much as I really really really did not want to sift through them. I knew I needed to for the sake of my mental wellbeing. I hadn’t realised it but those thoughts had been building for quite some time and after all the lessons were over and all rewards or punishments received, those thoughts were relentless and overwhelming. I couldn’t ignore them any longer.”

You couldn’t stop talking. If you did, you were pretty sure you’d bottle everything up until you did what you were best at, running. It wasn’t a fair thought to have, but sadly you were in no state to control the cruelty of your thoughts. You just had to keep speaking and once you finished you hoped they understood. “As I’m sure Minseok and Baek told you, I had a meeting with the managers and Junmyeon to discuss my work and for feedback to be provided. Without going into too much detail, the meeting went well, but my future with SM hangs on your CEO. He was sent video of your ments and interviews while overseas to review as well as feedback from the managers, staff and yourselves. I will either be let go and my boss will find me a contract with another company - which will mean we won’t see each other as much or as freely - or I’ll be kept on one of two contracts with SM. Either an exclusive contract with EXO with allowances for freelance tutoring in my free time within SM, or a contract with SM where I would not be assigned any specific group but would be available at the company to provide lessons for existing artists and trainees. Either of those options would mean we would see more of each other, but the latter would mean we would not be able to speak as freely as we do now with each other.”

“I spent a lot of time stressing about what I wanted to happen and what possible scenarios could happen but I guess professionally any option is good for me as all options mean I remain working in this field and helping others improve their language skills. I stress over large changes in my life, not sure if that is something I’ve ever mentioned, but it’s a thing. Obviously.” You scoffed as you made a vague gesture at yourself and the clear state of stress you were in. “Personally, I don’t want to lose what we have. I cherish each of you and love that we’ve still been able to hang out and play around while we’re all working. I know we’d make it work if I have to go to another company but I know we would see each other significantly less than we do now.”

You took a deep breath. You hadn’t looked at any of them while you spoke. You knew if you saw their eyes you’d stop speaking. So you just couldn’t. Not yet. What if they looked at you with pity, anger, happiness, disgust, or worse - indifference. You could rationalise it if they felt something, but seeing them feel nothing when your mind had been fucking chaos might just be the straw that broke the camels back. You didn’t look at them. “So to sum up, I overthought everything, stressed, spiralled and withdrew from all of you which may or may not have been the right thing to do but I’m here now. I should know in a few days where my future lies work-wise but wanted to open the floor to discuss whatever this relationship we all have now is because I don’t think it is something I can resolve by myself. We don’t have to discuss it now, but I want you to think about it. I don’t know if you view me as a friend or as someone you want to pursue something with, or someone you no longer wish to see. I’m sorry to just dump all of this on you but I need to put it all out there, as much as I can right now anyway.”

You’d done it. You’d told them what had been going on in your mind. Mostly. You hadn’t discussed your feelings but you’d mentioned all possibilities so that had to count for something. You really just wanted to run and hide, to become invisible rather than be perceived right now, but you knew you had to remain in your spot and hear what they had to say. No matter what it was.

Chanyeol was the first to speak. He ran his hands through his hair as he tried to keep his tone even. “Not going to lie, this is a lot. I think I speak for all of us when I say that, and I think you know that. I appreciate you opening up to us about what was going on in your head, I'm sure we all do, even if it does leave us with more questions and discussions to have.”

You nodded. It was a lot. You knew it. You’d lived with all of it in your brain. It was only fair to give them time as well. That’s why you’d said you didn’t need to discuss it now.

Minseok was next to speak, he smiled softly at you, his own way of trying to calm your nerves even now. “I don’t think it’s something we should talk about tonight. You know as well as we do that we can be impulsive and that discussions can get heated quickly if we haven’t had time to choose our words. As weird as it will be I think we all need to take some time to think about what we want, and what will work best moving forward.”

You nodded again. You’d used all your words in speaking to them and now could bring yourself to speak.

“This is going to sound shitty noona, and for that I’m sorry but I don’t think there is a diplomatic way to put it, well at least not one that I can think of right now,” Junmyeon said, sighing as he had to be the guy to say it. “but we do need to consider how it might affect the group if one or more of us are interested in pursuing you, especially if it means some may be rejected. At the end of the day, EXO has to come first, and god I know that’s a shitty thing to say, but it’s something we need to think about and probably talk about amongst ourselves. No offence.” You knew someone would have to raise that point, and it was a valid one, one you’d thought about as well. It did make sense that it was their leader who was the one to say it. After all, he always did put the group above everything else.

You had to speak, nodding wouldn’t suffice in response to that. It would only make him feel like a jerk and that was the last thing you wanted him to feel. You cleared your throat and hoped you said the right things. “All valid points, and don’t worry, there’s no offence taken, Junmyeon. I’d also thought that you should all take some time away from me to think over what you want and to discuss with the group. If one or more of you wanting to pursue me would negatively affect the group then I don’t think anything more than friendship is possible.”

You paused. Would they think of this option if you didn’t raise it? You weren’t sure. But if it helped them with their deliberations then it was worth the level of embarrassment you were about to feel by simply suggesting it. “I guess the last thing for me to put out there is that after some thinking, I’m not opposed to exploring the possibility of a polyamorous type of situation if that is something you guys land on. However, I’m also not opposed to monogamy or just friendship with all of you. It might sound like I either don’t care that much or that I don’t know what I want, and the latter is somewhat true, but I did draw a line between what we were doing in the rewards versus hanging out outside of that and it prevented me from allowing too many feelings to take root. I’m not sure where any of you stand and I don’t want to know right now either since all of this” You gestured with your hand, waving it vaguely to indicate all of you. “Is so fresh and we all have a lot to consider, or not consider. I don’t know.” Breathe you told yourself. You had to breathe or you’d panic before this conversation ended. “I’ll hopefully have a follow up meeting in a couple of days and then will know what will be happening with the work aspect of my life. I think we should meet once I know that side of things and chat again? But if you need more time, I would completely understand.”

Not much was said after that. The air was tense and awkward as you all kind of forgot how to act around each other. You stayed for a little while to hear about the plans for their encore concert but as soon as that conversation topic dwindled, you said your goodbyes and headed back to your apartment.

It might be time to call your friend. You were more confused after that meeting and once again on the precipice of a breakdown. You couldn’t wade through this on your own and you couldn’t ask one of the guys for help because this was about them. You couldn’t tell your friend every detail, but you could tell her enough.

[10:49PM] You: So uh, are you free for that chat?

[10:49PM] Your bestest friend in the whole world: For you? Always.

***

You awoke the next morning to the sound of a text message notification on your phone. You rubbed your eyes as you tried to focus on the name of the contact who sent the message. You sat up in your bed as soon as your eyes managed to make out that the message was from your boss. Hopefully it was the message you’d been waiting for.

[7:42AM] Mr. Kim: Good morning, I hope you have had sufficient time to relax since returning from the overseas tour with EXO. I had a meeting this morning with SM’s CEO, Lee Soo Man about your performance under the current contract you have with SM and what his thoughts were for your potential future prospects at the company. I’ve scheduled a meeting for us at midday at my office. I’ll see you in a few hours to discuss.

If you were half awake at the start of that message, you were wide awake now. Of course a meeting is called the day after you dropped what felt like a literal bomb on your nine upstairs neighbours. You had just over four hours to freshen up and get yourself over to his office. Not that you were nervous… not at all… not even a little bit. It wasn’t like the outcome of this meeting determined the future of your career or anything. No, shut up. You tried telling your mind as it attempted to spiral before any form of carb or sugar entered your system. You repeated your father’s words over in your head as you picked out clothes for the meeting, a simple and professional outfit that you would not anxiety sweat through before you even reached Mr. Kim’s office. You showered and got yourself ready for the day and whatever it would bring. Maybe it would be better once it was all over, then you could stop overthinking and fretting about every possible outcome. That wasn’t how you liked doing things but it seemed to be what happened whenever it was important to you. When you cared.

Just before you left the apartment you sent a message to the group chat so that everyone was kept up to date.

[10:25AM] You: Hey, just a heads up that I’m on my way to a meeting now. LSM has made his decision and I’ll know my work fate in a couple of hours. I know I suggested meeting again after I had my meeting but given I literally only proposed everything to you last night, I’ll bench our talk until you guys have had time to deliberate and all that. Just reach out when you want to chat and I’ll make myself available.

It felt clinical and not how you’d ever spoken to them when there was no one to overhear your conversations. It felt like how you spoke to them when one of their managers was present. It felt wrong and something in your heart hurt. There was no response, but you could see the members slowly reading your message. Sehun reacted to it with a thumbs up message which then spurred everyone into chatting, mainly to scold Sehun but seeing the chat alive again felt right.

You put your phone on do not disturb mode as you approached Mr. Kim’s office, coffee in hand. Not the iced variety that was so popular among idols. No, the purpose of this coffee was not to keep you awake, rather it was to give you a caffeine hit as well as comfort you with its warmth. You were always nervous when it came time for a performance review, but unlike last time with Blackpink, you were a lot closer with the members of EXO and their staff. Unlike last time you knew that you had done your job successfully, you’d been present to witness the members grow in their language skills and watched them deliver their ments to their American audiences with little to no translation required. The only slip was the night Baekhyun forgot his lines, but the following shows he required no assistance.

Once you arrived, Mr. Kim’s secretary ushered you into his office, telling you he was just finishing up a meeting in another room and would be with you shortly. Thankfully you did not have to wait long before he entered the room. He smiled and greeted you warmly then moved to sit at his desk. You’d been in this room a few times now and it was always nerve wracking.

“Once again I can tell that you are eager to hear your evaluation.” He chuckled.

You nodded. “Apparently my face hides nothing from you.”

“Actually your face is not what gave you away, it was the fidgeting fingers this time.” He pointed at your free hand which was unfortunately fidgeting with the buckle on your handbag.

Your fingers stilled, but you itched to keep busy with something. Anything to get the frenetic energy out of your system. “You got me. Now please put me out of my misery already and give me my evaluation.”

Lucky for you, he prided himself on business and got right to it. You never had to endure too much small talk with him. It was a much more pleasant experience than the managers you had back before moving here. They seemed to want to spend up to ten minutes chatting about nothing before switching to business mode. That was not the Mr. Kim way. His way was better. For you at least. Mr. Kim pulled a file up on his computer and turned the screen so that you could see it as well. “As you already know from the last time we did this, we assess you in three areas. 1. How well the tasks were performed 2. How you worked with the clients and 3. Work ethic/professionalism. I’ve reviewed the recording of the last meeting you had during the tour as well as received feedback from the SM CEO.”

He clicked on a file and opened it. “This is a review of the tasks performed. As you can see, it was unanimous across the board that you have excelled in this area. You successfully prepared the members for their interviews and concert ments, improving their English significantly. You joined the group on tour and no issues were reported by staff or the members, nor did you appear in any fan reports or cause any scandals.” He paused to look at you, a knowing smile on his face. “But you already know this from your meeting with the managers and Junmyeon. I’ll only add the feedback from their CEO. He said he was impressed that someone of your young age was able to successfully complete these tasks to the level that you did, he made special mention of the tailored lessons as a genius move on your part. He noted that whilst it would be an arduous task for all clients, it worked for EXO in ways no one expected. They have not had this level of success in teaching a group that didn’t already have a member with a decent grasp on English or a native English speaker. He was also very impressed that you were able to fit in and work seamlessly with a well established team.” Mr Kim paused, signalling that you could now speak before he addressed the next criterion.

So far things were going well. Logically you knew that you had succeeded in your role, but it was always a relief to hear it. Hearing from your boss and the head of the group's company eradicated the last of the anxiety you felt about your ability as a teacher. “Thank you Mr Kim. I felt that I was succeeding in my role and I am glad to have that confirmed by the head of their company, but I do have to ask what he meant about my age?”

“Most translators or teaching staff that are brought in are older than you. Especially when it comes to English. There is a greater risk when idols are involved and most companies specifically request someone over 40 to be assigned so that there could never be any misunderstandings around the nature of the relationship.” He replied.

Your brow furrowed. “Then how did I get the job? I’m significantly younger than that, even if I’m still older than the members.”

He smiled smugly. “Ah well that was me. I know companies prefer older staff, especially when they are working with the opposite sex, but I had a hunch that you would succeed where others had failed with EXO. Their CEO reluctantly agreed to trial you and had to admit he was pleasantly surprised after receiving the one month evaluations of the members progress.”

Noticing that you weren’t going to add any more to that discussion, Mr. Kim moved on. He scrolled through the document until he reached the heading indicating the second criterion. “Before I move into discussing the external evaluations I would like to say that I am personally very impressed that you took on the feedback provided after your time with Blackpink and applied it to EXO. You managed to become more familiar with them and it shows in the reviews from the others. I strongly believe that this improvement is what made this job such a success for you.” He gestured towards you. “So I wanted to commend you on the large improvement in this area.”

You smiled. “Thank you Mr. Kim. Your advice was intrinsic to the development of the tailored lessons as well as my comfortability in becoming closer with the members so that we could work together to the best of our abilities.”

“As you know from the feedback from both managers and members, you exceeded expectations in this area, and everyone benefited from your approach. The CEO questioned whose idea it was for you to become closer to the members and expressed the concerns he had about it. Once I explained that it was feedback that you had been given from myself and the reasons why I felt it would improve outcomes, especially given your closeness in age to any 2nd or 3rd gen idols in comparison to the on staff teachers who were usually around the same age as the idols parents he understood. He stated that whilst he had his reservations about that kind of approach given the potential issues that could arise, dating scandals, sasaeng accusations, unprofessionalism etc. he could see how it worked in the members favour. The group had undergone quite a few hardships prior to this comeback, with members leaving and dating scandals damaging their public image. He stated that they were likely to be quite reserved and untrustworthy of someone new to their staff and that it would take a long time for them to begin to trust a new staff member. However, you managed to make them feel comfortable and not lose the authority you had over them as their teacher, whilst remaining respectful at all times. He said he was very pleasantly surprised by this.” He sat back in his chair while you processed his words. Mr. Kim had only had meetings with you a handful of times before this, but he already knew to let you take a moment while his words sunk in before having you respond.

A weight lifted off your shoulders. Yes, you recalled the nature of the meeting you had with the managers and Junmyeon whilst overseas, but your brain had managed to twist their inarguably positive feedback into statements that you had turned over in your mind repeatedly as you second guessed every moment you’d spent with the members. Knowing that the CEO was reviewing all of the work you had completed overseas had stressed you more than you had realised. It was as if you could feel the tension leaving your body every time Mr. Kim read out his feedback.

“I’m glad my efforts have been recognised, and that I’ve shown improvement in this area. I also understand the concerns their CEO had. We had meetings with the members and their managers regarding safety and security of both the members and myself to ensure no photos were snapped if we were not on a schedule. The last thing any of us wanted to do was bring negative attention to this working relationship. We also discussed at length the boundaries we should draw in order to not become overly familiar with each other and I believe that assisted greatly.” It wasn’t a lie as such. You really did have those meetings and you really did discuss those boundaries. It was just the managers weren’t present for the third meeting which involved you and the members working out how to put each other in line if any of you slipped and a glimpse of how close you really were slipped through. It was a miracle nothing ever happened in view of other staff or the public, but there were a couple of close calls. You’d all been very lucky in that regard.

Mr. Kim powered on. “On to the final point, we’ve never had any issues with your work ethic or professionalism, and neither have the members or managers. Their feedback was passed on to the CEO, who praised you for being available at short notice in order to fit with the members busy schedules. He was also very happy that the members did not abuse this clause in your contract but rather made sure the others were aware if one of them had required you early in the morning or late at night so that they could avoid overworking you.” Mr. Kim closed the document. “I’ll be honest, he got rather sidetracked at this point and spent a good ten minutes praising his EXO boys. I can assure you that he was very pleased with both your work ethic and professionalism. He agreed with the manager's statements that you clearly succeeded at your role, exceeding all expectations that were had of you.” He chuckled as he shook his head. “But once he starts talking about those boys it is hard to shut him up. You’d think they were his sons sometimes.”

You allowed yourself a pleased hum at the feedback you’d received. High marks in all areas of assessment. Exceeded expectations, exemplary results. “Thank you Mr. Kim. I’m very glad that my hard work paid off and that my approach was successful for the members.” You paused. “However, as much as I want to just bask in this feedback, I am too curious about my contract. Did their CEO happen to mention if he planned to renew my contract, or are you finding me a new group to work with?” You needed to know, and you needed to know like two weeks ago at this point.

Mr. Kim, to his credit, did not outright laugh at your impatience. Instead he opened a drawer and pulled out a manila folder. “I understand that this must have been weighing on your mind these past few weeks.”

You nodded. “You would be very correct.”

“He did come to a decision. I won’t draw this out as I can tell you just want me to get to the point. He was incredibly impressed by your determination and competency, and as we all know, the results speak for themselves. He does want to offer another contract, however it would differ from your current one.” He stated.

“How so?” You asked.

“Firstly, this contract would not commence until three months from now.” He explained. “They want you to continue your work with the company, working with all of their artists. EXO would take priority if and when they have any overseas schedules that would require them to speak English. The rest of the time you would assist whichever groups or artists he deems in need of your skills. You would also offer lessons in the company like you did whilst EXO were in Japan during your contract.” Mr. Kim slid the folder across the table for you to pick up and look over.

“I am grateful to have the opportunity to continue to work with SM. Like I said in my meeting overseas, I have been treated exceptionally well by their company, its staff and idols and welcomed the opportunity to continue working with EXO, be assigned to another group within the company or as an in-house teacher/translator.” Well there it was, they had offered another contract. You could keep working for SM, potentially with the guys as long as their schedules required English, but you’d still be in the same building as them. There was a decent break before commencement which was nice, but you did have concerns about your income. Not working for three months would be a struggle for you financially. “I do have questions regarding the three month break in between contracts though.”

“I believe my next statement should cover whatever concerns you have.” He directed your attention to another section of the new contract. “During that time, SM has stated that they will contact you for freelance work if/when required but that you are also not exclusively bound to the label during that time, so you can assist other companies and artists. This will allow you to continue to earn income and gain further experience in this field. I will also say that you will find in the proposed contract that your fees have increased. I did not consult you on that, but felt that you had every right to request a higher rate given the success of your work thus far. I would encourage you to take a break for a couple of weeks, more if you wanted to take this opportunity to visit home, before letting me know you are ready for some more work with other artists. I do have one group in particular that I think would work for this short timeframe. They have not yet debuted but they do have varying levels of proficiency in English, varying from fluency to what is taught in our schools here.” He waved a hand in front of his face as he realised he’d said too much. “But that is a discussion for another date, I’m getting ahead of myself.”

You smiled, genuinely too. This was wonderful news and it settled a large part of your anxiety to have secured more work, especially work that would require little change. “Thank you Mr. Kim. I’ll take this contract home to review but it sounds promising. I think I will take a couple of weeks off to rest and recuperate, but I would like to request a clause be added to this contract. I understand that I may have some further changes to request, but I’m reasonably certain this one won’t already be in there.”

“What would that request be?” He asked.

“An allowance for one or two weeks of consecutive leave within the next 6 months for me to visit my family. I’m not ready to make a trip home yet, but I know I will be during that time period and I don’t wish to be told that I cannot go. I would provide sufficient notice for the leave, unless there was an emergency, so as to not hinder the progress of their artists' lessons.” In your mind it sounded reasonable, and you’d heard of difficulties with obtaining leave from work in Korea, so you wanted to safeguard yourself as best as you could.

“I’ll have our lawyers make the addition. We’ll hold off sending it to SM until you’ve read through the contract and made any other amendments.” He stood and shook your hand. “You’ve done well so far, and I continue to be impressed with your work.”

The meeting ended shortly after that which you were glad for. The feedback was self esteem boosting, and proved to yourself that you had done a great job, that your hard work had not only paid off but had been noticed. You also managed to tell yourself that your closeness with the guys wasn’t the sole factor for your success, they really did suck at English before your lessons and whilst the sex during the rewards and punishments was great, you were pretty sure you couldn’t learn a language purely from fucking. Somewhere along the lines, your lessons struck a chord with them and they wanted to learn, so they did, and it stuck. That was a job well done by you.

After you left Mr. Kim’s office you put your phone back in normal mode.The group chat had been busy these past few hours. Message notifications flooded your phone as you began the commute home. They had pinned a message so that you wouldn’t miss it once you finally checked your phone.

[11:48AM] Minseok: Please tell us when you finish your meeting. Kyungsoo wants you to come up for dinner so you can tell all of us what the outcome was.

The messages after were a chorus of predictions and bickering.

[11:51AM] Jongin: I think SM will do another contract.

[11:51AM] Sehun: Well duh. They’d be stupid to let her help our competitors.

[11:52AM] Jongdae: Noona could make some sweet demands if they offer a new contract.

[11:52AM] Kyungsoo: Yeah, make SM work for it. Lord knows they’ve fucked over too many idols in contracts. If they offer a new one MAKE A LAWYER LOOK AT IT.

[11:53AM] Yixing: Make demands of your own too. Make that thing benefit you, coz if they offer a new contract it means they want to stop you from working with other companies.

[11:53AM] Chanyeol: MAKE. SM. WORK. FOR. YOU. You’ll have the upper hand and they don’t want you to know that.

[11:54AM] Baekhyun: Yeah, fuck SM!!!

[11:54AM] Junmyeon: Guys…

[11:54AM] Minseok: Idk man, all I see is valid points being made.

[11:55AM] Junmyeon: I… you were meant to be on my side Minseok.

[11:55AM] Minseok: I never promised that.

[11:55AM] Minseok: Fuck SM.

[11:56AM] Kyungsoo: So I think we might be doing the opposite of encouraging you to consider taking another contract with them if they offer. What we mean to say is, have someone look over the contract, make some demands (because they have to acknowledge your worth now) and know that our disdain for our company comes from the nature of idol contracts which are VERY different to the kind of contract you would be offered.

[11:56AM] Junmyeon: Thank you!

[11:57AM] Kyungsoo: Stop making me do your job man.

There were another 500 messages after that (which you did not read), but you made sure to send one as requested

[3:30PM] You: Holy crap that is a lot of messages. No offence but I am not reading through all of them. As requested, I’m letting you know that I’ve finished my meeting. I’m heading back to the apartment now. What time do you want me up there for dinner?

[3:30PM] Kyungsoo: Food should be ready at 7 PM.

[3:30PM] You: I’ll see everyone then.

***

“Noona, can we talk before you come up for dinner?” You’d picked up on the first ring when you’d seen Baekhyun’s name pop up.

He sounded unsure of himself, which was a rarity. “Sure Baek. Is everything ok?”

“I think so? I hope so.” He groaned in frustration. “Ugh I don’t know.”

Now you were getting concerned. Was he ok? “What’s going on?”

“I’ve been thinking about everything you talked about last night and I think I understand why you had to just unload everything all at once to us.” He took a deep breath. “My brain has been working too much and making too many scenarios for me to keep up with.”

Well that you could relate to. You really didn’t wish the clusterfuck that had been your thoughts over this past week on anyone, so you empathised with Baek if he was suffering with the downward spiral that too many thoughts inevitably brought. “I get that. Would it help if you just tell me everything?”

He was quiet for a moment as he thought over his options. Quite likely he was worried that speaking to you would only make things worse. That’s precisely what made you a nervous wreck before you word vomited all over their living room last night. “Maybe. Might make everything worse, I don’t know.”

You tried to sound reassuring. It was always easier for you to provide comfort in person or via text. Over the phone was some strange middle ground where you didn’t always stick the landing. “It’s just me. Since when have we ever not been able to talk to each other?”

“You’re right.” He said. “Fuck. Ok.” Yeah, he was nervous. Should you be nervous? Was he about to reject you? Was he going to confess? No. You needed to remain as calm as possible. He was the one allowed to freak out right now, not you.

You pushed your growing anxiety down and said as reassuringly as you could. “I’m right here. Promise.”

You heard him take a steadying breath before he started speaking. “I guess I’ve been trying to work out where things stand between us.” He said. “It’s never just been friendship between you and I. There was always flirtation and we only got bolder with it as time went on until we had sex, which I know was as a result of my lesson, but I don’t know, we only had the lesson because we were about to fuck and you stopped it from happening until after that. I guess it felt like more than just because of the reward stuff I guess. It felt like something that was inevitable, like we were orbiting each other until we would ultimately collide.” He took a breath, meanwhile your heart was hammering in your chest.

“I know we’ve discussed it and both agreed that there was something more there, some kind of feelings neither of us had addressed. I don’t know how you feel now, but for me, after we slept together those feelings only intensified. I still didn’t know what they were so I just assumed they were born from lust but when you asked for space and then went silent for days I realised that they weren’t feelings of lust. I realised that I care deeply for you and the very thought of you not being in my life hurt me to my very core. I know it was just sex for you and everyone else but for me, I can’t say for sure, but I think I like you as far more than a friend and would not be satisfied just being a fuck buddy. I know I said I would never entertain us ever being able to actually be a real thing but I want that so much that it is physically painful. I needed to tell you before we all talked tonight because I want to be selfish and pursue you myself but I don’t know where you stand. I don’t know if I’m making a fool of myself right now and you’re thinking of the nicest way to reject me or if you don’t know how you feel or if you feel the same. All I know is that I barely slept last night after I realised all of this and I had to say something.”

“Baek,” You started.

He didn’t let you get the words out, not that you even knew what those words would be. So maybe him interrupting you was for the best right now. “I know this is a lot to dump on you, I know that, but I needed to say it.”

You weren’t sure if you were ready to tell him everything you realised on your call last night. It was still too confusing. Still too fresh. But you also couldn’t leave him hanging with nothing after he just poured his heart out to you. “You know I have feelings for you, just that at the time I didn’t know what those feelings were.”

“Have you worked it out since then?” He all but whispered, as though he was scared of what your response would be.

You couldn’t say it yet. You couldn’t say it until you believed it yourself. It wasn’t fair to him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to utter the words back to him. Not yet. “I think so but I’m not sure. I am so scared of ruining everything Baek.”

“I’ll let you think some more, but I want you to know that for me it is about much more than sex now. So think about how you feel and ask yourself if you feel the way you feel about me with anyone else?” He tried his best not to sound deflated, but you didn’t miss the pang of hurt in his voice as he spoke. He’d just confessed to you and whilst you hadn’t rejected him, you hadn’t reciprocated his feelings. You felt overwhelmed. You needed to say something, but what? What could you possibly say when you weren’t ready to admit how you felt, when you were too terrified to ask for what you wanted.”

You had to say something. For him, you couldn’t just leave him with nothing. “I -”

He cut you off again, though this time it was probably out of fear that you would reject his confession. “Don’t answer now. Just think about it and we’ll talk later. Bye noona.” He hung up before you could attempt to speak again.

You hung your head in shame. Why couldn’t you just tell him? You didn’t realise you were crying until you felt a tear hit your hand. You sank to the floor and let yourself cry for a few minutes, too overwhelmed with emotion to even try to stop the tears from falling. You felt guilty for not being able to tell him how you felt, for feeling like you were toying with his heart. This sweet, funny and endearing man, who had been so good to you. When he needed you the most, you’d choked. You didn’t deserve the feelings he harboured for you, how could you if you couldn’t even respond to him. How could you be deserving of that love when you all but pushed him away.

By some stroke of luck your eyes weren’t too red or puffy when you checked them before leaving your apartment. You really hoped your night didn’t end with you returning to this apartment to cry over a ruined relationship. There was only one way to find out, and in order to do that, you needed to walk out your front door and head upstairs.

***

“Alright, how did the meeting go?” Sehun broke the silence that was permeating the dinner table. Everyone had greeted you when you’d arrived, and made some small talk about their day. That felt strange. You’d never lacked for conversation with these men, but now they seemed to be walking on eggshells around you and you weren’t sure if it was because they were trying to protect themselves or you from where this evening went.

Regardless, you decided to put on a brave face and do your best to hear them out without breaking down. You felt exposed, fragile and breakable. But you pretended otherwise as best as you could. You just hoped they couldn’t see through the facade. “Really well. The feedback was all very positive and everyone agreed that I did an excellent job. Your CEO expressed his concerns about my boss and the managers suggesting that we be more personable but he agreed that the fact that we did that probably served as a catalyst for the success of the lessons.”

“That’s fantastic news!” Jongin said, far louder than he or anyone else at the table were prepared for. Everyone, Jongin included, jumped a little at his volume. He muttered a bashful apology afterwards, stating that he was just really happy for you.

You smiled at him. He was so very different to what the general public saw when he was onstage. He was soft spoken and endearing beyond words. “I’m also really grateful for the feedback you guys provided. I didn’t get a chance to say it before so I’ll say it now, thank you. Your words meant so much to me.” It was the honest truth. You had no idea that they would be asked for feedback about your work, and while they could have provided generic positive feedback they didn’t. Instead they provided in depth feedback about your abilities and how well you had worked with them. You would be forever grateful for the kind words contained in their feedback.

Kyungsoo decided to add to the conversation, his soft yet commanding voice cutting through your thoughts. “Bias aside, you earned that feedback. We did our best to only give the facts and not let our friendship cloud our opinions of you.”

“You cannot deny that we sucked at English before you noona.” Chanyeol quipped, laughing as he spoke.

Junmyeon looked personally attacked by his words. “Speak for yourself!”

“No, he’s right. We were bad at it.” Minseok laughed. “Like really fucking awful.”

Yixing pushed the food around on his plate with his chopsticks. “Anyway, uh, not to be pushy or anything but did you talk about what’s next for you?” He briefly locked eyes with you before diverting his gaze back to his plate.

“Yeah we did. Uh, they offered me another contract.” You saw all nine heads suddenly turn towards you and felt their gazes on you. “I do have to read over it and make sure it's fair but essentially they want to put me on contract for another 2 years. If EXO has schedules requiring English, then me teaching you takes priority over other groups, otherwise I’m free to work with any artists under the SM umbrella. Your CEO may assign me a group to work with, or managers may request my help. If no one requests then I’m kind of an in-house teacher/translator.”

Jongdae grinned. “I’m not going to lie, I’m glad they offered you more work, they would have been idiots not to, but it does mean you won’t be a stranger.”

Minseok was more hesitant as he spoke.“What are your thoughts on it, just based on the offer given you haven’t read it yet.”

You sat back in your chair, contemplating your response. “I’ve only had good experiences with SM so far, so the offer sounds good to me. I know a lot of the staff, I know the building, the resources, I know some of the artists, obviously I know all of you and work well with you. It feels like a good choice over starting anew elsewhere and hoping that I’m treated as well as I am here.” You smiled a little. “Plus, I get to see you guys if I’m still here, that’s a bonus.”

A smile finally formed on Minseok’s face. “I know we may have come across a bit brash earlier but,”

“Oh don’t worry. I already had a copy sent to a lawyer to look over it, and I also made a request for a leave allotment to be added into the contract.” You cut him off, already guessing what he was referring to from the earlier flood of messages. “Once I read through it myself I’ll discuss it with my lawyer and make any other changes that need doing then return it to Mr. Kim to negotiate for me.”

The unanimous response that came from all of them was creepily synchronised. “Good.”

You thanked all of them for their kind words again. “The contract won’t start for a few months, so until then I’m likely going to be freelancing. Mr. Kim has an idea of another group I can work with briefly before I become exclusive to SM. I think I’m going to take a couple of weeks off before committing to any of that though. I need some time to recalibrate.”

“Uh I guess that brings us to the elephant in the room.” Junmyeon said.

You waved your hands in front of you, not sure you would ever be ready for this conversation, but after how well the contract renewal offer had just gone you were apprehensive about the ‘what are we’ conversation. “Oh, we really don’t have to talk about it yet. I only mentally unloaded on all of you last night so if you need to take more time before discussing with me, please do.”

He chuckled awkwardly. “That’s the funny thing I think. Without really realising it we have discussed it over the past few months as things progressed.”

“Oh.”

He straightened in his seat and looked directly at you. “Yeah. We kind of realised that last night when we started trying to discuss it.” He shifted, trying to get comfortable in his head. That was the only sign you had that he was equally as nervous about this conversation as you were. “I think we should each just speak for ourselves and then go from there?” He offered.

All you could do was nod. “That seems fair.” This was happening. You weren’t sure you were prepared for it, regardless of what they said.

“As the leader I’ll go first.” He shifted again, this time his eyes looked everywhere but you as he spoke. “I, well, uh, I’ve actually just started seeing someone. It’s very early days but I really like her and want to pursue things with her. My parents introduced us and weirdly we kind of hit it off, which is not what usually happens when my parents play matchmaker.”

You thought you’d feel sad at being told someone wasn’t romantically interested in you, because that’s what this was right? He was dating someone and he really liked them. But rather than feeling like you’d been stabbed in the heart you felt happy for him. “So at present, pursuing anything other than friendship with you isn’t something I’m interested in. I also think we work better as friends and don’t want to lose the relationship we’ve got. We did have the least amount of sexual interaction so I don’t think it will have any impact on our friendship moving forward.” Once he finished speaking he lifted his gaze to you, apprehensively since he wasn’t sure how you’d react, but he visibly relaxed when he saw you beaming at him. “As long as a potential relationship with another member or members doesn’t leave anyone unsatisfied from the start then I give my blessings.”

“Are we going in age order?” Sehun asked.

Chanyeol replied. “That’s boring, just go in seating order.”

“Fine.” Sehun sighed, resigned to his fate of being the next to speak. “Noona, I cannot deny that my punishment was fun and that I experienced more than I ever thought I would. But for me it was never that deep I guess.” He shrugged. “The punishment/reward was an opportunity to explore some fantasies with no strings attached with a person who I trusted. I think I’d be a shitty boyfriend to you as well, I can barely take care of myself, and it wouldn’t be fair to you to put up with that burden. I’m not boyfriend material yet.” He wasn’t wrong about that. He always turned up unannounced, never read the room, stole all your chocolates and sulked if he wasn’t the centre of attention. Well, not always, but it happened more than it probably should. Maknae privileges. “However, I am excellent bestie material. So I’d like to remain a very good friend to you.” You’d been rejected as a romantic partner but once again, you didn’t feel sad. Sehun was an excellent friend to have. He loved chatting so he always had good gossip and he was so beloved that he could almost get away with murder. He smiled softly at you, hoping you weren’t disappointed in his choice.

Kyungsoo took a sip from his glass of water before grounding himself and speaking. “There are circumstances where I could see myself truly falling for you. You have a lot of the qualities that I look for in a partner. But I have to be truly honest with myself, and if I do that then I have to say that right now, I am so insanely career driven - both with music and acting. It doesn’t leave much time to fit in a relationship in a way that is fair to either person.” Logical reasoning. You understood that, but much like you had forced yourself to do last night, you wondered where his heart lay in this. “Our reward was incredibly fun, and something I would do again in a heartbeat, but it would be with no strings attached. I value your friendship above everything else and I also think that whilst you put poly on the table as an option, and it is not something I’m opposed to, I can’t ignore the fact that Baekhyun clearly has feelings for you that run deeper than I originally thought. So I think it would be unfair to pursue anything with you to see if feelings develop when one of us is already carrying that torch for you.”

You were shocked. Baekhyun barely even reacted to Kyungsoo’s words, something that unnerved you. You could feel him staring at you. Was he that obvious to them? Had he told them? Kyungsoo wanted to simply remain friends, and if he wasn’t so aware of how Baekhyun felt then he would have been fine to have a friends with benefits kind of situationship going on. You weren’t really sure what to do with that information. It was very flattering, but did you want to entertain someone who wasn’t sure if they had feelings for you?

Too impatient to wait to see if you were going to respond to anything that had just been said, Jongin began speaking. “You have been one of my closest friends since the start. You looked after me when the guys were on tour while I was injured and we hung out so much. I think we bonded over fried chicken and movies.” He smiled fondly at the memory. “You were one of the first people that I’ve met since we debuted who wanted to know me for me, not for who I was as an idol. I agree with hyung, there is a future where I could see myself falling for you under the right circumstances, you’re kind of loveable like that noona, but I would trade that possibility in an instant for your friendship. It means the world to me. I also think there’s one of us who has real feelings for you and it makes me giddy to think of the two of you together.” Did he also mean Baekhyun or was there another member harbouring feelings for you?

The chair next to Jongin scraped on the floor as Jongdae tried to adjust his sitting position. If he’d been going to cool, calm and collected - he’d failed. He looked stressed beyond belief. Was it him? Did he have feelings for you? “Ok so, like the others I cannot deny how highly I value your friendship,” Ok so not him then. “or the fact that I am a person with two working eyes and have spent too much time around Baekhyun to not notice his feelings for you.” You glanced at Baekhyun who still seemed to be checked out of the conversation, even with his eyes locked on you. His gaze was somehow blank and intense at the same time. Did he not care what anyone else was saying about you? Was he really going to be that selfish? He said he wanted you to himself but did that mean that if anyone else at this table confessed that you’d have to reject both of them? Because if he was going to be this indifferent, especially when they kept talking about his feelings for you, then surely picking one person would only lead to a rift forming within the group. “All of that said, I’ve also kind of been seeing someone. And I like her, like a lot, like an insufferable amount.

Minseok saw the opportunity to chime in. “He dreamt about having kids with her last night.” He smirked.

Jongdae looked mortified. “SHUT UP. Um, yeah. So that’s a thing and I just want my friend who I can ask questions to when I’m about to fuck everything up with my possible future wife. God I sound lame, I’m just going to stop talking now.” He sunk down in his chair, put his forehead on the table and banged it against the wood a few times. Minseok and a few others tried really hard not to laugh at him, but they failed miserably.

Chanyeol’s eyes darted around the table as he decided to try and pull focus from Jongdae, who appeared like he was waiting for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. “I uh, yeah I’m not dating anyone per se, but I’m also not looking to be tied down in a relationship right now.” Sehun snorted. “God, I sound like such a fuckboy saying that, but I think you kind of awoke some sort of confidence in me and I just want to play the field.” You heard a muttered “And absolutely no one is surprised you moron.” from Kyungsoo and had to stifle a laugh as Chanyeol continued to speak.

“I care for you a lot, and I know one of us cares deeply for you so I want to leave things with us as friends. You’re interesting and fun to be around, you’re competitive in silly games and aren’t a sore loser. Hah, I could probably learn a thing or two from you there. Anyway, yeah. That’s me done.” Again someone saying that another member had feelings for you, but not specifying who. So did he mean Baek or did Yixing or Minseok also harbour feelings for you? You were surprised how at peace you felt with everyone only wanting friendship from you - so far. Kyungsoo admitting he’d fuck you again in a heartbeat had shocked you. That man was usually much more reserved than that.

Yixing was sitting next to you so he turned to you as he spoke. “Ah my sweet lady. I like you a lot,” He took your hand, his thumb caressing the back of your palm gently. “and honestly if I let myself I could so easily fall for you, but I’m also a workaholic to a fault. I have such high ambitions and drive for myself that I tend to fill up every minute I’m not on a schedule with more work.” He laughed. “If it weren’t for these guys, I’d probably forget to sleep.” He paused and you felt the room somehow grow even quieter. What the fuck was he about to drop on you that everyone else this still? “I’m also headed back to China in a few weeks and, ah this sucks,” He hung his head, clearly upset about having to leave Korea again. “I don’t know when I’ll get to come back this time. The political climate has never been great between our two countries but right now it is really tense.”

Ah, that explained the feeling in the room. He was leaving and no one knew when or if he would return. You felt sad. You were going to miss him a lot, as were the rest of the guys. He always worked too hard when he was away from the group because no one on his team in China seemed to grasp how hard he would work himself unless they forced him to stop and take a rest. You returned your attention to the man in front of you. He sighed sadly. “So I’m going back and working on music as a soloist, working on some acting projects and would hopefully be back next year for our new album, but it's all kind of up in the air. I couldn’t burden you with any of the long distance crap and it wouldn’t be fair to either of us to even try to date and explore any feelings we may have when there would be such difficulty actually seeing each other. It will be a big enough strain on our friendship so whoever does end up dating you has my full support as long as they let me smother you with hugs when I return.” You were confused. His words made it seem like if it weren’t for returning to China, that he would want to date you, but he hadn’t said that he had feelings for you, just that he could see himself having feelings. Was it kind of like Kyungsoo’s situation? You let go of his hand as Chanyeol pulled him backwards into a big hug.

Minseok tapped you on the shoulder to get you to turn towards him. He smiled softly at you then took a deep breath. “Alright then.” He started. You knew he hated airing his business in front of others so regardless of what he was about to say, it was likely stressing him out. “Ah, well you and I probably had the most sex out of the group given the fuck buddy arrangement we’ve had going on. It was mostly stress relief and if we weren’t to have a physical relationship anymore, I don’t think it would drastically change our relationship. I value my movie nights with you over sex so ultimately I don’t want to lose my friendship with you. I trust you implicitly and we’ve both seen each other's ugly sides and haven’t run away from them. I could see circumstances where we pursue a romantic relationship, but like yourself, I haven’t really allowed my feelings to come into play so I’d be content just being your friend.” He glanced towards Baekhyun, who was staring at you. “Like the others, I also cannot ignore Baekhyun’s feelings towards you. I in no way want to come between what could be something beautiful between the two of you.”

Baekhyun doesn’t speak. He hasn’t said a word since you set foot in the dorm and he hasn’t averted his gaze from you the entire time. You could feel it boring into you while everyone spoke. He hadn’t said anything to correct anyone about his feelings for you and it seemed like he had no plans to speak in front of them either. You gave him a few moments to see if he was going to say anything, and noticed the way the others all looked towards him when he chose to remain silent.

You decided to respond to everyone else. Just because Baekhyun was choosing to be silent for the first time in his life didn’t mean it was fair to leave the eight other men in the lurch after they had all just told you how they felt. They needed to know how you were feeling about everything. “Well ok, this makes everything easier. After we spoke last night I did a lot more thinking about our relationships and where I wanted to stand with each of you. I came to the conclusion that your friendship means more to me than anything else and so with that, I was going to say that I think it is for the best that we don’t sleep together anymore. It kind of worked out well that all of you landed on that conclusion as well. Like some of you said, there are circumstances where I could see myself falling for you, but I’m also aware of how that would not be fair to explore, given everything. I love each of you in my own way, and I’m so happy that I get to keep my friends.” You could actually hear the en masse exhale that they let out once they heard you speak. They hadn’t hurt your feelings and everything was going to be ok. “The only thing I’ll ask, actually no - it’s more of a demand at this point - is that you stop being so awkward around me now. Things can go back to how they were, just don’t cross the line into being too inappropriate.”

They all laugh and agree, and just like that the strange tension that had surrounded the dorm disappears. However, one cloud of tension remains, concentrated solely around Baekhyun. He dropped his gaze when you’d spoken and hadn’t lifted it from the floor since. If anyone was worried about Baekhyun’s silence, they didn’t show it. You’d have to take him aside and speak with him soon enough. You’d promised to talk to him tonight.

You continued to tell everyone how happy you were that they all wanted to remain friends with you, whilst also pressing Junmyeon and Jongdae for details about their dating life. You can practically see the hearts in their eyes when they talk about the new women in their lives and honestly, you couldn’t be happier for them. Poly was a fun idea to put on the table but it was never going to work long term for these guys. Logistically, emotionally or publicly. So it was for the best that none of you decided to venture down that path.

Once everyone began to disperse you moved towards Baek and asked “Baek, can we speak privately?.” He shrugged but didn’t say no. He didn’t say anything. You walked towards his room and he followed you. You weren’t sure what the shift in him was from earlier this evening. Earlier he seemed like he wanted to date you, but now he wouldn’t even look at you and he looked so dejected and sullen, like he was fighting off tears. “Hey, Baek. Are you ok?” You asked. You wanted to reach out to comfort him but you weren’t sure if that would make matters worse. You had no idea what he was feeling.

He nodded in response, still not uttering a word.

“Sweetie, you need to speak to me if you want me to believe you.”

“I’m just.” He sighed, “I guess I’m just struggling. Like of course I want to keep you as a friend, not having you in my life would be too hard, but I guess I was really hoping you’d work out your feelings for me as more than that.” He stared at the ceiling as he tried to remain calm but you could tell he was beginning to crack. “I know it wouldn’t be easy dating me, not because of who I am as a person, but because I’m an idol. Like we’d have to be secretive and couldn’t be all couply and go on normal dates like normal couples and maybe you don’t want to date someone who has to hide you. It’s just hard coz I realised all these feelings recently and now I’ve gotta reconcile with them and stuff them away. Which I will do, you are too important to me to not still be friends, but not gonna lie, it’ll be hard for me for a while I think.”

He just wanted to be friends now? But when he’d spoken to you earlier, he said he wanted so much more than that. You were so confused. “Baek, what are you on about?”

His head snapped back to stare at you incredulously. “What am I on about?!” He exclaimed, clearly frustrated and hurt. “You just told all of us that you want to remain friends with us. After I told you about how I felt earlier. So I guess I am not doing great with the rejection ok?”

Oh. Oh. Oh no. He’d misunderstood horribly. You’d responded to the others because they’d spoken. None of what you said at the table was for him because he hadn’t spoken. “No, oh my god no, you’ve misunderstood.”

He looked so hurt, close to breaking as he responded. “What?”

You tried to remain calm, hoping it would make him calm. “Baek, I want to remain friends with the eight of them. I didn’t want to announce my feelings for you in front of them because you weren’t speaking. I didn’t know if you’d told any of them how you felt or if they’d all just worked it out, but then you didn’t speak. You stared at me the entire time but then you said nothing.” You paused as you took a step closer to him. “Plus my confession should be for your ears only first.”

He staggered backwards, not at all prepared for the words you’d said. “Wait, what are you saying?”

You locked eyes with him and did not break eye contact as you spoke. You needed to be certain that he heard you loud and clear. You’d been too weak to say it earlier, even though you knew how you felt. He deserved to hear it hours ago, but you couldn’t turn back time, so hearing it now would have to do. “Byun Baekhyun, I like you, a lot. Way more than is healthy for me I think. I want you in my life, I want to have you as one of my closest friends but I also want so much more. I want to be able to hold you, flirt with you, do domestic as fuck things with you, date you in whatever capacity we can date. I know that won’t be easy, I’m not naive about the secrecy that dating would require but to me you’re worth it. I want all of you, and I don’t want to share my romance with anyone but you. I’m not against bedroom scenarios that involve guests but I want you and only you as the person I fall even further for.”

“Fuck.” He whispered.

“Yeah. I want to do a lot of that too. You have no idea, but this is supposed to be romantic, not a confession from a horny teenager.” You both laughed. “I don’t know when my feelings changed or if I’d just ignored the way I felt about you for a long time but once I sat down and thought about my options with all of you, and spoke very discreetly with my best friend back home, I realised how sad I was every time I thought of not being able to be anything other than a friend to you. For every other member I was fine with the prospect of just friendship, but with you, it made me inexplicably sad.”

“Are you sure? Because don’t get me wrong, I want this, but it would be stupid of me to not understand the reality of it. Like you said, we won’t be able to go out on dates like a normal couple. We would have to be so careful. So unbelievably careful.” He paused as he took a couple of steps towards you, closing the distance between the two of you. “I think at this point a dating scandal wouldn’t ruin my career nor would it ruin EXO, but I’d be so worried about you.” He reached out to brush a stray strand of hair behind your ear, his hand lightly resting on your cheek afterwards. His eyes shone bright with emotion. He cared so much about you. “People can be so cruel, and I don’t want to see you hurt by their words should anything leak.”

You placed your hand over his, your eyes glistening with emotion. You knew his feelings for you, and he knew how you felt about him yet he still took the time to worry when he could be kissing you. “I don’t know that there is any way to prepare for the hate that would come my way if something got out about us, but I think that unless there was evidence of us in some compromising position it would be easy for SM to deny the rumours. In some ways working for the company and with the group allows for us to be seen together. We’d just have to keep things very work oriented when we aren’t in the safety of our homes.”

Baekhyun let out a shuddering breath. “I’m, fuck, why am I scared?”

You smiled. “Because. We really like each other. Fear is natural when you have something to lose but I think that just means trying to hang on to that special thing, or person in this instance, is worth anything that could be thrown at us. I’d like to think you wouldn’t just abandon me the moment a rumour comes out.”

He shook his head instantly. “I wouldn’t. I promise.”

“Then yeah, I’m all in on trying this thing. You and I. Exclusive. Together.”

His eyes widened at your words, like he still couldn’t quite believe this was happening. All the bravado you’d seen throughout the rest of your relationship with him was gone. The man who stood before you now was Baekhyun stripped bare. He was beautiful, inside and out. You don’t know how you denied yourself these feelings for so long, but if you continued to do so the sheer weight of what you felt might just consume you. “Is this really happening?” He asked.

“It is if you agree to it.” You replied. You stared up at him as you waited for him to accept your feelings and close the gap between you.

He leant in. “I can’t believe you actually like me. Didn’t you once say I was the most annoying person in the world?” He whispered. He was so close you could feel the ghost of the movement of his lips as he spoke.

“Maybe you’ll be less annoying if I get to call you mine.” Did he expect you to kiss him? Was he waiting for you to make the first move like you were waiting for him to do?

“Oh. No. That’s where you’re wrong.” He smiled against your lips, the sensation of them touching but not kissing you was driving you insane. “I will be even more annoying if I’m yours.” His hand moved from your cheek to the back of your head, holding you in place.

“Still a risk I’m willing to take.” Baekhyun’s fingers tightened against your neck, stretching up into the edges of your hairline. He felt like he was trying to bring his own body as close to yours as possible.

You waited for him to agree to date you, but he kept seemingly dodging a response. It was beginning to make your anxiety spike. What if he really liked you, admitted his feelings, yet still did not want to date you? Could you handle that? You didn’t think you could, not after laying your heart on the table for him like that. “Baek?” You asked.

“Yeah?” He replied as his free hand snaked around your waist, pressing your bodies against each other. You could feel your heart hammering in your chest as your breath hitched.

“Please don’t leave me hanging.” You pleaded. You needed to hear him say it now that he knew how you felt. You felt light headed, and like your knees might buckle.

“What?” He sounded confused. The butterflies in your stomach felt like they were caught in a hurricane for how tingly you felt.

“I’ve told you what I want, confessed my feelings to you. B-but, you. You haven’t -” You struggled to get the words out.

He must have realised what you were trying to say as his grip on you tightened. “Fuck! Sorry noona, shit. I want to date the hell out of you.” You could feel how hard he was miling against your mouth as he spoke. “I’m excited for all the silly domestic things we can do. I want to buy couple pyjamas for us. I want to smother you with kisses and affection as much as I can when we are alone. If I don’t, I don’t think I’ll be able to handle my shit in public. I’m scared. I’m so so soooo happy, also a bit horny but that’s nothing new, mostly I’m just waiting to wake up from this dream.” You could feel yourself tremble, all the pent-up anxiety and fear and self-loathing having no other way to exit your body. The physical manifestation of the nerves wasn’t something you could control.

“Well could you hurry up and kiss me then?”

“Gladly.” Baekhyun closed the nonexistent gap between you as he pressed his lips against yours. The kiss started out softly, carefully and full of what could be referred to as love. He was kissing you with all the pent up emotion that he was now allowed to set free. You’d never been kissed like this before. Never been kissed in such a way where you could feel the emotion being poured into you. You felt desperate for him. It felt so good.

Baekhyun pressed harder against you as he kissed away all of your worries and doubts. You could feel how much he wanted you, more than just sexually, as his tongue swept across your lips, requesting entrance. You granted it readily, equally needing to devour him and reciprocate how you felt about him through the kiss. The raging butterflies in your stomach had morphed into tingling sensations that fluttered across every nerve ending.

He pulled back just enough to cradle your face in his hands as he gazed at you with so much affection that you felt like you might combust. “I feel like I’ve gone crazy,” he chucked. “He didn’t allow you space to speak before jumping in to continue kissing you.

You continued to kiss and hold each other for a while, trying to make up for lost time as you attempted to express every emotion via kisses. Some soft and loving, others rough and demanding. It’s you who pulled away the next time, as you both tried to catch your respective breaths. “We should tell the others.”

Baekhyun nodded. “Yeah, and then can we please go to your apartment? I just want to spend time with you. I don’t care if we just hold each other and make out or if we do more, I just want to be close to you.”

“That sounds perfect to me.” You pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before you grabbed his hand. “Let’s go before we change our minds and they find us in here.”

The two of you headed back out towards the living area hand in hand. The others all appeared to be caught up in various discussions but they stop once someone notices yours and Baekhyun’s intertwined hands. Baekhyun cleared his throat, unable to keep the smile off his face as he exclaimed. “We’re dating, and I hope all of you can be happy for us because, speaking for myself here, I’m really happy right now. I thought I’d lost her earlier tonight but as usual I misunderstood.” He smiled down at you. “Thank fuck it was a misunderstanding, otherwise all of you would be dealing with me being mopey and heartbroken.”

One by one the members got up and came forward to embrace the two of you. You were over the moon with the outcome from this evening. You’d secured a new contract, didn’t have to move companies, got to keep some of the best friends you’d ever had and gained a boyfriend. Pretty productive night if you said so yourself. However, you couldn’t help but notice that neither Minseok or Kyungsoo had approached the two of you since Baekhyun’s announcement.

In fact, neither of them were even in the room. Suddenly the lights dimmed and the two missing members entered the room, holding a cake. It wasn’t anyone’s birthday. What was the cake for? As they got closer you heard the other members giggling and grew suspicious. Any of these men giggling was never a good sign. Finally the cake came into view as the two of them stood before you and Baekhyun. “Yah!” Baekhyun laughed as he tried his hardest to sound mad. “Did you fucking plan this?!”

“Dude, you could not have been more obvious in your affections as far as we were concerned. “Kyungsoo deadpanned. “After we all talked last night it became pretty obvious that none of us felt the same way you did, and whilst some of us could see ourselves reaching that point, we weren’t there now. We were always expecting you to confess, and well, noona, you were always closer to Baek than any of us. There was always something brewing under the surface there so we had faith that you’d reciprocate his feelings. So we figured baking a cake for the occasion was a sure bet.”

“You did have us worried when you didn’t say a single word at the table but I’m glad to see it all worked out. We did change the message on the cake just in case you hadn’t confessed to each other by the time you came back out of the room.” Minseok smirked. You finally diverted your gaze to the cake. And laughed. You laughed so hard that you struggled to breathe.

Hurry up and confess to each other so we can celebrate.

“This was your amendment?!” You managed to splutter in between laughs.

Kyungsoo grinned. “Yeah. The original message said Congratulations on realising your feelings.”

“I hate all of you, just so you know.” Baekhyun grumbled, though it was not even remotely convincing what with the huge smile on his face.

“You love us.” Minseok said. “And we’re very happy for you.”

“Now eat the damn cake. I baked it with love.” Kyungsoo said as he thrust the cake towards the two of you.

“You baked for us?” You asked as you smiled.

“Of course I did. I’d only let the others bake if I wanted you to be poisoned. I don’t know how he’d manage it but Junmyeon could give you food poisoning even if all the ingredients were in date. What do you take me for, a monster?” He replied, unable to wipe the smile off his face.

***

After the cake had been eaten,you and Baekhyun decided that it was time to take your leave and head down to your apartment for the night. You made your way around the room to bid each of the members goodnight, and to give each of them a warm hug. You held Yixing extra tight, promising to come have a movie day with him before he had to return to China. You also made him promise to schedule video calls with you so you could keep in touch. He swore that we would and you planned to hold him to that promise.

Minseok walked the two of you to the door. The three of you chatted easily as you and Baekhyun put your shoes on. You were enveloped in a strong embrace as Minseok held you and told Baekhyun to take good care of you because you now had eight friends who would gut him if he hurt you. The weight of his words was diminished when he posed the exact same threat to you. Baekhyun laughed at his protective hyung, cooing at how cute he was for threatening the two of you.

He didn’t let go of you as he reached out to playfully slap Baekhyun. To his credit, Baekhyun let the two of you have your moment as he watched you both silently.

You should have known better. Silence and Baekhyun were never a good mix. “So what if I want Minseok to join in every now and again?” He said as though he was talking about the weather.

“What?!” You both spluttered.

Baekhyun shrugged. “Noona, Hyung, you should see your faces.” He giggled. “I’m only half kidding though.”

“Yeah, you are going to have to say more than that dude.” Minseok groaned.

Baekhyun smiled at both of you. “I don’t know about either of you, but if I had to take a wild guess - we all had a better than good time during hyung’s reward. I’m just not opposed to something like that happening again, obviously not a frequent thing, but yeah. I’m sure you are more than capable of taking charge in the bedroom noona but it was really fucking hot watching both of you and being told what to do. So uh, yeah, just saying I’m happy to leave that door open for a future session.”

“Baek, you can’t just say things like that as though it's normal conversation.” You replied.

“What made you decide to bring that up now of all times?” Minseok asked as you spoke.

“To answer noona - Is that a no to my idea then? Coz like, that’s also fine. To answer hyung - I was reminded of it when the two of you were hugging.”

Minseok shook his head at the younger man. “You’re fucking weird dude.”

“You like it.” Baekhyun quipped.

“I don’t dislike it.” He agreed. “Look, I’m down as long as it doesn’t become weird. It was fun, it was deeply satisfying and it was hot, but not something I’d be willing to ruin our friendships over.”

You finally found some words, not quite believing where the night had taken you. “I feel the same. So uh, I guess at such a time when we want to involve a third, we know who to call…”

“This cannot be my life.” Minseok shook his head in disbelief and pointed towards the door. “Can you two leave already so I don’t get sprung with any more headache inducing conversation topics?”

Baekhyun grabbed your hand and led you through the door. “Let’s go angel.”

You were content, more than content as you stepped across the threshold with Baekhyun, who was now your boyfriend, you supposed. You’d have to discuss labels later. You wanted to spend the entire night in his arms, and like him you did not care if that was while you watched movies, played games, talked, or expressed your feelings for each other in a much more physical manner. All you knew was you felt right, you felt loved and cherished and you felt like you were in a state of utter bliss.

A/N: Thank you if you've stuck with me over the course of the past 7 years. I simply don't have the words to express my gratitude to everyone who made it to this point of my lil fic. Well it was supposed to be little. It was supposed to be 9 chapter of pwp and only take me a couple of months to write but then all of this happened. I grew as a writer through this fic and explored different aspects of what I could write. I'm proud of this fic and glad that it didn't become another one of those unfinished fics on the internet.

It would mean the world to me if you could leave a comment. I love you all.

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proudahgase-exol · 1 year ago

Text

Exo reacting to the boys telling him he’s whipped for you

Minseok:

He was at home and had Jongdae and Baekhyun over he was doing the laundry when Baekhyun noticed some of your clothes so he took the opportunity to tease his hyung

“Hey that y/n clothes did she make you do her laundry now,” baekhyun said teasing

“Umm yes I’m doing my laundry and I saw she left some of her dirty clothes here from the last time she stayed over so I’m cleaning it” Minseok replied unbothered

“What else does she get you doing for her? Do you buy her pads too?” Baek asked again laughing now jongdae laughing as well

“Yes I have gone to get her some of her pads why is that funny Jongdae I know you have done the same or worse,” Minseok said rolling his eyes and smiling

“Eww I will never do that it will be so embarrassing,” Baek said making gagging noises

“I will be the one laughing when it’s you that does that,” Minseok said as he walked up to the laundry room.

Miseok didn’t mind doing your laundry because he knew you did him as well, he was just being the sweet boyfriend he is and didn’t care if his members made fun of him.

Junmyeon:

He was in London with the boys for a concert and they had a few days off so they went to explore when they got to a jewelry store junmyeon saw some earrings that thought would look good on you so he went and purchased them.

“You buying her more stuff? First, it was the keychain then the red dress now earrings. She got you whipped” Baekhyun said as he stood next to his leader

“I just the she will look good with them they go perfectly with her dress,” Junmyeon said smiling

“Yeah are you her sugar daddy too you have spent so much money on her,” Baekhyun said smiling

“She deserves everything and I want to give her a little gift anyway,” Junmyeon said as he gave the guy his credit card

“I wash it was her to have you spending money on me… she has you wrapped around her fingers,” Baekhyun said walking away

Who can blame the guy who loves to spoil you he might be whipped and he’s okay with it.

Yixing:

Lay loved sharing his stuff with everyone he didn’t mind letting the guy or you grab his clothes it was something normal for him but when Sehun came to complain about his favorite jacket being missing and then later found it on your body it got Lay laughing.

“Hyung why is y/n wearing my favorite jacket? I was supposed to use it tonight I’m going out with some friends and that jacket goes perfectly with my outfit tell her to give it back” Sehun said in a whiny tone

“Sorry but she got it first you can use any other jacket you like though,” Lay said smiling

“Oh come on if it was any of the other guys you would have asked them to take it off why does she get a free pass that’s so unfair,” Sehun said annoyed

“That’s because she’s the girlfriend he can’t say no to her and what she wants she gets that’s how whipped he is for her,” Jongdae said as he was walking past the two of them

“Yeah but that’s our jacket not hers so tell her to give it back” Sehun demanded like the spoiled brat he is

“Yeah that’s not happening he doesn’t have the heart to tell her to take it off plus she has more right to his clothes than you do,” Junmyeon said when he arias to Lay’s room

“That’s not fair hyung why did you have to be so whipped for a girl they are so annoying when I get a girlfriend I won’t let her use my stuff,” Sehun said walking over to Lay’s clothes and picking another jacket

“You will be like Lay or worst Mark my words Sehun,” Jongdae said walking away

Baekhyun:

The guys were at the mall buying new clothes and Chanyeol noticed that Baekhyun had a lot of matching clothes and he automatically knew who the other clothes were for.

“Hey Baekhyun are you buying matching clothes for your little girlfriend” the tall man teased

“Yeah way,” Baekhyun asked unbothered

“Aww that’s cute I remember you said that you will never be the type of couple,” Yeol said giggling

“Yeah well she asked if I could get this so I said why not” Bakhyeun said shy

“What else does she got you to do you have matching pajamas? Or matching phone case” Yeol said as he got Kai to make fun of Baekhyun too

“I’m sure he has matching phone cases or at last a shirt that says my queen,” Jongin said laughing

“Whatever if she’s happy then that’s all that matters,” Baekhyun said with a proud grin

Baekhyun knew he was whipped but he didn’t care if you said jump he would because your happiness is all that matters to him.

Jongdae:

Jongdae was at the dance practice texting you, you have been feeling sick for the past few days so he was worried about you. when you didn’t answer his texts he was so worried he called you and the boys heard him and when he got back they didn’t waste time and started to tease him.

“Is my baby okay do you want me to bring you medicine do you want chicken soup oppa can make it for you” Sehun said trying to mimic Jongdae’s voice

“It’s okay baby I’ll cuddle you lost when I get home make sure to drink water I love you darling” Junmyeon followed

“What’s with you guys,” Jongdae asked laughing

“Oh, you know just making fun of you, since when did you become whipped?” Kyungsoo asked

“Can’t I take care of my girlfriend?” He asked

“Yeah but you take it the extra mile you treat her like a baby she has you wrapped around her fingers,” Minseok said as he laughed

“That’s not true plus if you guys had a girlfriend you wouldn’t be talking,” Jongdae said smiling

Jongdae is whipped but he was only whipped for you he would do anything to make you smile he will give up everything if you ask him to that’s how much he loves you

Chanyeol:

Everyone knows he’s whipped he writes music about you but that’s what the boys know what they don’t is that his car and house are full of your stuff. You don’t live together but someone who didn’t know you guys would think that you do. Chanyeol makes sure he haves your toothbrush, hair products, and skincare products at his place in his car he haves hair ties and your fave lipgloss, and when the guys found out they were laughing their asses off.

“WOW Chanyeol you are something else you have everything you need for your girl that’s cute,” Sehun said as he got out of the car

“Wait till you see his bathroom he has her favorite hand soap, her skincare, and other stupid girl stuff,” Baekhyun said slapping Sehun back

“Ewww she has you so whipped,” Jongin said clapping his hands

“He’s so whipped he does everything she asks him to. If she wants him to carry her purse he will it’s cute but gross” Baekhyun said as he made kissing sounds

“Yeah yeah laugh all you want I’m just being a good boyfriend and a gentleman,” Chanyeol said blushing

“You wired dude that’s what you bring but go off,” Shun said smiling

After the guys were gone he called you to complain but you also agreed with them but you liked the fact he was whipped so now he doesn’t mind it too much.

Kyungsoo:

He was in the kitchen making your favorite food when Jongin walked in and whined about what he was cooking.

“Hyung were eating that? I was hoping to eat something like chicken,” Jongin said annoyed

“I'm cooking this for y/n not for you and if you want Chicken make it yourself,” Kyungsoo said

“ Lately you have only been cooking what y/n likes but not what I like or what the boys like” Jongin complain

“Well she’s asked if I could make her some of her favorite foods and I said yes so shut it,” Kyungsoo said annoyed

“You never do what I ask you to she does have you whipped chanyeol was right,” Jongin said disappoint

“What was he right about” Kyungsoo asked as he turned around

“That every since you started dating her she has you eating from the palm of her hand,” Jongin said

“I’ll kick his ass then I’ll kick yours now leave my kitchen before I smack you,” Kyungsoo said in a fake angry tone

Yes, he was whipped but didn't care he loves you and the boys have to deal with it.

Jongin:

He hates shearing his clothes specialty his fancy expensive ones he doesn't let anyone touch them and the boys knew it but when they saw you in Jongin’s Gucci hoodie they were quick to complain

“Hey that’s not fair why does she get to wear your clothes but not us?” Sehun asked in disbelief

“Yeah what’s so good about her that she gets the privilege to use your clothes” Baekhyun followed

“She’s my girlfriend there for she gets the privilege to wear whatever she pleases,” Jongin said happily

“Every since you started dating her you become so whipped it’s like you're a whole new person,” Chanyeol said eyeing him

“Yeah she got you so whipped it’s disgusting we want the old jongin back,” Kyungsoo said laughing

“You guys are just jealous she gets to wear what you can’t so stray jealous,” Jongin said sticking his tongue out to them and walking away

He is whipped and he loves it, it makes him feel like a good boyfriend like he’s doing everything right.

Sehun:

Junmyeon was hanging out with Sehun and he noticed how you were scolding him for making a mess and not cleaning up after himself he apologized and kissed you and even made Aegyo for you he thought it was funny and cute he didn’t know Sehun had this soft side. he knew by the way he looked at you that he was so in love that he was whipped for you so what did Junmyeon do? He teased him.

“Aww Jagiya sorry I’ll clean up don’t be angry,” Junmyeon said trying to mock him

“Stop it’s not funny,” Sehun said whining

“Oh you so whipped you didn’t even try to fight back like you usually do she told you to do the dishes and you almost said Yes ma’am it's so cute how whipped you are for that girl,” Junmyeon said laughing

“I’m not whipped and I’m only doing it because she asked me nicely,” Sehun said as he rolled his eyes

“Keep denying it you and I both know how in love you are and that you will do anything she asks you to,” Junmyeon said laughing hard

Yes, Sehun was whipped but he will deny it if anyone asks him.

—Well this was trash 😸 if you like any of my work please like and reblog 💕

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marvelous-llama · 2 years ago

Text

EXO recs

most of the mentioned works is 18+ NSFW, MINORS DNI

tumblr is based on reblogs not likes, so please reblog and comment under works you like. Show love to the authors and appreciate their hard work

<<next chapters

pls don´t hesitate to hmu, if any of mentioned links doesn´t work or you have suggestions for more fics... thank you so much for all the love and comments

OT9

Exordia Academy by @kpopfanfictrash

Welcome to the Exodus Mall by @yehet-me-up

12 days of lust by @kwanisms

Gaurdian angel series by @marshmallow-phd (Kyungsoo, Sehun, Baekhyun, Jongin, Chanyeol, Junmeon)

Vampire series by @marshmallow-phd (Tao, Chanyeol, Yixing, Luhan, Minseok, Jongin, Kyungsoo, Baekhyun)

Crimson Aurora Hotel & Spa collab by @myeoning-call

meant to be by @galactichen

Kim Minseok

Kim Junmyeon

Zhang Yixing

Byun Baekhyun

Kim Jongdae

Park Chanyeol

Do Kyungsoo

Kim Jongin

Oh Sehun

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eomayas · 2 years ago

Text

in the morning • kms [req]

request: can we get a morning sex fix with xiumin where he is both very sweet and very thirsty please and thank you

pairing: minseok x f!reader, established relationship

genre: SMUT 18+ MINORS DNI!!!!

synopsis: reader is late to work because minseok is hard to resist in the morning.

warnings: SMUT!! p in v, praise, unprotected s**, oral (f receiving)

a/n: hehe i told anon that id consider writing this and i did! i hope u like it, thank you for all of the support thus far <3 ps xiumin is a munch heheheheehhe

you shouldn’t have been surprised when his lips found purchase on your neck the moment he felt you stir awake. his hands on your hips, rubbing across your stomach and pulling you flush against his hard member.

last night, drunkenly, he had asked (and you thought he was joking) if he could hit it in the morning. you assumed he was singing the song, teasing you mostly, but you had said yes in your drunken state. in all honesty, neither of you were that drunk, and your saying yes was mostly because you don’t give a shit where or when he fucks you, as long as he does it right and often.

“min,” you murmur, voice laced heavily with sleep. minseok slides a hand underneath your shirt, fingers splaying across your stomach and toying with the tie on your sleep shorts. “i have work.” you say, but it’s like placing a stop sign on a highway the way he doesn’t budge.

“i know,” he mumbles, pressing himself into you. “you told me i could hit it in the morning.” minseok nearly whines when he says it, his mouth by your ear. all you can do is chuckle softly, mildly shocked at his upfront-ness. he kisses underneath your earlobe and goosebumps arise on your skin.

“did i?” you ask rhetorically, moving your head to give him more skin to kiss. “i’m gonna be late.” your complaint falls on deaf ears, your boyfriend slipping his hand underneath your sleep shorts. you can’t help but open your legs wider for him.

minseok removes himself from behind you and crawls on top of you, quickly capturing your lips in a heated kiss. it’s not long before he’s kissing down your neck and shoving your shirt up to rub his hands over your skin. “min,” you say, threading your fingers through his hair, urging him to keep kissing and touching you, though he really shouldn’t if you want to make it to work on time.

“what?” he asks, cutting his eyes to the clock on your bedside table. “at least let me eat it.” he says, already sliding between your legs. you look down at him, lip caught between your teeth. his eyes are pleading, if his fingers digging into the soft skin near your core wasn’t enough indication that he’s starving for it, you don’t know what was.

“if you’re quick,” you say, running a hand through his hair. he quickly tugs at your bottoms and you help him take them off. minseok lowers himself to your exposed core and kisses your clit like the sweetheart that he is. he drags his tongue up your slit experimentally, paying attention to the way you suck in a sharp breath and tense up.

minseok eases your legs open when you try to close them around his head, resting his palms on the inside of your thighs and applying pressure so you don’t move. he makes out with your core, for lack of better imagery, taking his time with you as he sucks on your nub and pokes his tongue into your hole. you cry out his name and throw an arm across your eyes, your back arching off of the bed. “fuck!” you sputter, mouth falling open as you let out moans and whimpers.

he rubs your clit with his fingers when he pokes his tongue in your hole, your legs starting to shake when the pleasure gets to be too much. minseok like when you get like this, when he drives you over the edge and overstimulates you until you can barely talk or think straight. he relishes in seeing your legs shake because he knows he’s doing his job right every time. “you’re close, huh?” he mumbles against you, looking up at you with wide eyes.

“yes!” you whine, drawing him closer by wrapping your legs around his shoulders and holding his face to your core. minseok groans and grinds himself down into the mistress, wanting to be trapped by you in another way. “fuckfuckfuckfuck!” you chant when he starts sucking and licking at you without mercy. he slurps you up like soup, quickly getting you to orgasm all over his face and the bedding.

minseok unhooks your legs from around his head and kisses the inside of your thigh. your eyes flutter open and you sit up to look at him over the rapid rise and fall of your chest. “min,” you say, curling a finger and beckoning him to you. he crawls up your body, kissing your stomach and then kissing you lips, spreading your arousal on your lips. you don’t mind, not right now when you need him lecherously.

your hands quickly work to pull down his sweats, and your start to turn your body around so you can get on all fours, but he stops you. “i wanna see your pretty face,” minseok grouches, gently pulling at your waist to flip you onto your back. “better.” he kisses your neck softly and hooks one of your legs onto his shoulders, checking with you to make sure it’s comfortable before lining himself up with your entrance.

work is lost on you, the time long forgotten the moment he sheathes himself inside of you, burying himself to the hilt and slowly rocking himself inside of you. you cry out his name and hold onto his shoulders, your acrylics creating shallow indents in his skin. “ah, fuck, y/n,” minseok moans, his eyes squeezing shit.

you slide one of your hands into his hair and tug at his roots, your chest arching into his as his thrusts speed up. “minseok, baby, please!” you whimper. what you’re begging for, you don’t know. he’s stretching you wide and hitting it so deep that your brain can’t fully process how you’re feeling. “min!”

“i-i’m right here,” he pants, kissing your jaw. “do you want me to stop?”

“no!” your tone takes on one of offense and you harshly pull at his hair, making him hiss at the action. you gasp when he lifts his chest up and plants his right hand by the side of your head while the left holds your thigh against his shoulder. “oh, m-minseok!” you mewl, your mouth falling open as you look look down at where you two connect.

“so beautiful,” he praises, his voice breathless. “and so tight. always s-so tight a-and pretty for me. i-i could stay here a-all day.” he stammers, pulling his bottom lip in between his teeth and hanging his head as his thrusts start to become less rhythmic.

“i love you,” you choke out, putting a hand on his cheek. minseok turns his head and kisses your palm, mumbling an ‘i love you too’ into your hand. you buck your hips when a knot forms in your core, tightening as he keeps up with his strokes despite being near his own release. “min! i-i’m gonna come!” you gasp out and throw your head back onto the pillows.

eyes rolling back into your head, your body convulses as your orgasm takes over. you squirt onto the bed sheets and onto his bare abdomen, calling out his name as he stills momentarily before releasing inside of you. minseok pants removes your leg from his shoulder and collapses next to you, his arm slinging across your abdomen.

minseok lifts his head to glance at the clock and lets out a chuckle. “fast enough for you?” he mutters, rolling onto his back and covering himself with the bed sheets. you lean over him to check the time and nod.

“perfect,” you mumble, kissing his lips with more passion than necessary, especially since you’re cutting it close to being late for work.

“babe,” minseok whines when you pull the sheets back and crawl on top of him and settle your bare core over his lap. surely your boss could handle you being a few minutes late, just this once.

#exo imagines #exo scenarios #exo x reader #exo x you #exo smut #xiumin x you #xiumin x reader #xiumin smut #minseok fan fiction #minseok x reader #minseok x you #minseok smut #xiumin fic #xiumin fanfic

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jongbross · 2 years ago

Note

A headcanon with Exo:

How would they express their feelings for the reader?

a/n: thank you for requesting <3 i did this thinking about love languages, i hope it's okay!

minseok:

acts of service.

minseok has a beautiful way with words, but most of the times he gets awkward to say them out loud, so he learned his love language is acts of service. whenever he sees you're feeling down, he'll do something nice for you, so more often than not you'll get home to him cleaning up the house, finishing that task you've been trying to do for weeks but work just wouldn't let you, or all dressed up waiting for you so he can take you out and treat you with a nice meal.

he always says "i love you" at the end of a phone call or before leaving, but more than that, he tends to show you he loves you through his acts.

junmyeon:

gifts.

i know we all (fans and members) joke about junmyeon being rich and spending all his money as he wants, but somehow he learned that giving gifts is also a love language.

don't get me wrong, he doesn't think he can win people over with that. but if you see and like a nice little pair of earrings, what's the matter with him buying it for you? if you complain to him that you're having a shitty day, is really that bad for him to buy you your favorite desert and get it delivered at your work? if you're the love of his life, the one he's sure he wants to spend the eternity with, can't he buy a new house for the two of you where you can start a family together?

think about it...

yixing:

physical touch.

zhang yixing is one of the softest boys out there. he has a busy schedule and he always puts work first, so sometimes he can't be around you as much as he'd want. so whenever he has some time to spend with you, believe me - he'll be all over you. he will kiss you every chance he have, hug you even if all you're doing is brushing your teeth, lean on your shoulder while you're watching your favorite show.

yixing always makes you feel loved, wanted. he's forever grateful for all the support you give him, for all the times you let him go with a smile on your face because he needed to persue his dreams. he may write a few songs about the way he feels about you, but he rather show you through his touch.

baekhyun:

quality time.

baekhyun knows exactly what he wants and how he wants, so he has confessed to you before. but the funny thing you've realized is, baekhyun is so full of love but has been hurt so many times, that he tries not to talk about his feelings a lot - he's lowkey scared it will all happen again if he wear them on his sleeve.

so, to always remind you how much he loves you and how he cares about you, he learned to just spend some time with you. and it's so natural to him, to turn off the world and just focus on you, give you his full attention; watching your every move, listening to your every word, doing whatever makes you happy - always with a smile on his lips and eyes overflowing with tenderness.

jongdae:

words of affirmation.

have you seen jongdae? he's the walking form of words of affirmation. he is always reminding you how amazing you are, how he's grateful for all the things you do for him, how he knows you're capable of anything you want.

he might not be the one to give you the best birthday gift ever, for an example, but he will always be the one to make you cry at his beautiful words. he might not always be around when you need a hug, but he's always just a call away whenever you're facing some trouble and needs someone to tell you "i love you" and "i believe in you" - and jongdae does, from the bottom of his heart.

chanyeol:

acts of service & physical thouch.

chanyeol is a mix of both, i think. he's the human definition of a golden retriever, i swear! whenever you're sad or need some reassurance, chanyeol hugs you and pulls you closer to his chest because he solemly believe - but won't ever admit it - that how much he loves you emanates from his body and it can heal you.

apart from that, he also likes to shows you that he loves you through his actions rather than words, so don't be surprised if you ever come home and oh, that photo you two took together last month on a trip is now hanging on your wall. (:

kyungsoo:

acts of service.

if you think kyungsoo isn't good with his words, you're right. he has some trouble talking about his feelings, so very early on his life he learned that he can show gratitude and love through his actions. he tends to care for those around him, especially the ones who has done a lot for him too, so of course it wouldn't be different with you.

you also realized this as soon as you two got together. it isn't unusual for kyungsoo to only smile and nod when you tell him you love him, followed by either him bringing you food because you're so busy with work or letting you sleep till noon even though it's his day off and you were supposed to be together - you deserve that rest and he worries about your health because he loves you, so it's okay.

jongin:

physical touch.

there's a very specific moment in one of superm's lives that jongin holds baekhyun's fingers and keeps playing with them for such a long time... that's how he acts with you too.

jongin does say he loves you, very often actually, but you feel that everytime he touches you - which he also does a lot. he's always touching you somehow, from pulling you close everytime he laughs to just touching shoulders while watching something on the couch. he needs that warmth, he craves that from his lover, and he can only hope that it's enough to show you that hey, he's so in love with you (spoiler alert: it is more than enough).

sehun:

gifts.

poor baby doesn't know how to show love. perhaps, since he's not only exo's maknae but also the youngest from his family, he has always been spoiled and showered with love in so many ways that he doesn't know how to pay back. the only way he gets to do it, and that's also a little bit of junmyeon's fault, is through gift giving.

sehun showers you with gifts every chance he gets. anything you want, name it and it's yours - or don't name it, because sehun learned how to read you so everytime you see something, check the price and be like "hm, that's too expansive" DO NOT be fooled, give sehun barely two weeks and the thing you wanted it's on your hands. he'll spoil you rotten if you let him, but don't blame him, it's his way to say "i love you so much, thank you for taking care of me".

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kjmcotton · 1 year ago

Text

✧*ૂ༄bee’s masterlist

PN: ❀ fluff ; ☾ angst ; ♢ sad ; ✩ for adults ; ♤ smut ; ♡ request

For any request ,please,check the guideline

✧ EXO

✧ Kim Junmyeon

December on the couch ♤

✧ Byun Baekhyun

Metanoia ✩ ♡

Commitment issues ☾ ♡

Unexpected gift ❀ ♡

✧ Park Chanyeol

What we did in the library ♤

A good action can change your life ❀ ♡

✧ Kim Jongdae

coming soon…

✧ Kim Minseok

coming soon…

✧ Kim Jongin

coming soon…

✧ Oh Sehun

Have a soft spot for me ❀♡

✧ Zhang Yixing

Ray of sunshine,the clouds are vanishing ❀ ♡

✧ D.O. Kyungsoo

coming soon…

✧ Specials

Halloween advent calendar🎃

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dilxcc · 11 months ago

Note

Boyfriend Xiumin pleaseee 🙈🙈🙈

boyfriend!minseok headcanon

okay but like, you'd be lucky to date him

why, you're asking me?

he cook, keeps the house clean and does almost everything that you barely had anything to do around the house.

we all know how active he is these days.

so when he gets home, seeing how messy the house is, he will nag at you while cleaning the house

i think he loves it if you clean the house with him

he's a clean freak 🙁

ALSOOO I THINK WITH HIM IT WOULD BE LIKE, he's there with you but both of you are doing your own things (just having him around is nice. the same goes to him)

would buy you a nice gift out of nowhere

though im sorry to say, eris might be his top priority while you're the second 😔

dates with him are probably fun

he would laugh at almost every joke you make (lies. he laughed at every joke)

he's very easy to amuse

even if you suddenly came up with a silly idea to surprise him, he would laugh first before saying thank you for the surprise

i feel like if he thinks you're the one, he would go for a ring hunt

and then probably a nice candlelight dinner before popping the question

i think he might be like jongdae and would tell his fans that he's dating

ooh and also he's 50/50 pda

might be clingy to you if he's in the mood

might not but still hold your hand

not to forget that he's like most asian moms ever

will nag and scold you to the point you thought you were dating your mom

when sleeping, i feel like he likes it better if he has his own space (no cuddles or stuff like that)

he might indulge in cuddling you sometimes though

please get married soon

#minseok 🐱#minseok x reader #minseok #xiumin #xiumin x reader #xiumin x you #exo m #exo l #exo #exo fanfic #fluff #exo imagines #exo imagine #xiumin imagine #xiumin imagines #minseok imagine #minseok imagines

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baekhyunsbestie · 22 days ago

Note

girl hear me out ‼️

how the exos react when they see you… play w yourself? 🫠🥵

exo x f!reader ; ty for this spicy req nonnie babie <3333333

content: 18+/mdni 5.1k+ words. explicit language. established relationships. voyeurism. mild humiliation kink. power dynamics. dirty talk. pet names. light degradation. teasing. filthy praise. mutual masturbation (sehun omGGGG). overstimulation. sensory play. edging.

⟢ jongin

the door creaks open.

“hey baby, i’m home—”

he stops.

the sound of his voice shatters the silence, and your entire body locks up.

fuck.

your breath catches, the pleasure that had been coiling in your belly instantly snapping into something else—shock, panic, raw, pulsing heat.

your fingers freeze in place. your body tenses.

your heart is pounding, slamming against your ribs, so loud you swear he can hear it.

you were so close. so lost in it, wrapped in the slow, building pleasure, drowning in it—so deep that you hadn’t even heard him come in.

but now?

now, he’s here.

watching.

jongin stands in the doorway, one hand clenched around the doorknob, the other still gripping his phone, his entire body frozen mid-step—stuck between hesitation and realization.

his expression is unreadable, his dark eyes dragging over you in a slow, deliberate sweep, taking in everything.

the way your chest rises and falls in uneven breaths.

the sheen of heat still clinging to your skin.

the trembling in your thighs that betrays just how deep into it you were.

his silence is suffocating, thick with an unspoken tension that coils tighter with every second he just stands there.

your breath catches.

heat rushes up your neck, shame wrapping around your ribs like a vice, crashing over you in heavy, suffocating waves.

your body reacts on instinct.

move. hide. disappear.

but the moment your fingers twitch toward the sheets—before you can even think about yanking them over yourself—

he moves first.

his lips curl.

slow. knowing. lethal.

the kind of smirk that doesn’t just see through you—it sees into you.

shit.

“you expect me to just stand here and watch?”

his voice is low—thick, weighted, dripping with something dark and hungry.

the air shifts, suddenly too hot, too heavy, too thick, wrapping around you like a second skin, making your breath stutter in your throat.

your entire body burns.

his name barely makes it past your lips, voice weak, trembling, unsure.

“i—”

you don’t even know what you’re trying to say. an excuse? an apology? a plea?

but it doesn’t matter.

because he moves.

slow. deliberate. calculated.

the soft click of the door shutting behind him feels final. like a lock turning. like a decision already made.

his head tilts slightly, dark eyes tracing over every inch of you, his gaze heavy, consuming, like he’s already imagining how you’ll come undone beneath him.

like he’s deciding where to start.

his fingers drop to the buckle of his belt, toying with it, his smirk never wavering. never softening.

“nah, baby,” he murmurs, taking another step forward, his voice a slow, lazy drawl—amused. teasing. dangerous.

“you don’t get to act shy now.”

his knee presses against the edge of the bed, sinking slightly into the mattress as he looms over you.

he’s too close. too much.

his presence fills the space, thick and all-consuming, until it’s the only thing you can feel, the only thing you can breathe.

you don’t move. can’t move.

his lips hover just above your ear, so close you can feel the warmth of his breath ghosting over your skin—hot, teasing, intoxicating.

“since you already got started without me…”

his voice is low, a slow, deliberate drawl, dripping with mocking amusement.

his fingers lift, tracing the curve of your jaw, soft, teasing, possessive, tilting your face up until you’re forced to look at him.

nowhere to hide.

no escape.

only him.

his smirk deepens, dark eyes flickering downward—straight to where your hand still lingers between your thighs.

you should pull away. you should close your legs, turn away, do something.

but your body betrays you.

your fingers twitch, hesitating.

your thighs tremble, still aching for more.

his smirk widens.

“i think it’s only fair,” he murmurs, his voice smooth, smug, dangerous, “that i help you finish.”

his fingers slide in, replacing yours.

hotter. crueler. devastatingly better.

your breath catches—sharp, broken.

his control is maddening. he doesn’t rush, doesn’t give in to urgency.

instead, he takes his time.

dragging it out. making you beg. making you his.

⟢ chanyeol

the moment he steps into the room, he freezes.

his hand tightens around the doorknob, knuckles going white as his gaze locks onto the sight in front of him—you.

sprawled out on the bed, legs parted, fingers buried deep between your thighs. your body writhing, breathy little whimpers spilling from your lips, eyes squeezed shut as you chase your high.

fuck.

for a second, he just stands there, blinking, like his brain is short-circuiting.

like he’s struggling to process the fact that his girl is lying there, touching herself, completely lost in pleasure—without him.

and that?

yeah, that’s not gonna fly.

“you really couldn't wait for me, huh?”

his voice comes out lower than he expected, gravelly, dripping with something dangerous.

your entire body jolts, a sharp gasp escaping your lips as your head snaps up.

“ch-chanyeol? i-i didn’t hear you come in—”

his eyes drag over you, slow, deliberate, drinking in every ruined inch of you.

your thighs still twitching.

your chest rising and falling in shallow, uneven breaths.

your fingers, still coated in your own slick.

fucking hell.

you already look wrecked, and he hasn’t even touched you yet.

“please, continue.”

he steps closer, slowly, deliberately, savoring the way you shudder under his gaze.

like a predator closing in on his prey.

“since you were so eager to do it without me…”

he smirks, tilting his head, watching the way your fingers hesitate between your thighs.

“finish what you started.”

your breath catches.

“i—”

his tongue flicks out, swiping over his bottom lip as he watches you struggle.

teasing. taunting. testing you.

“what?” his voice is deep, laced with amusement.

“you were just so into it a second ago.”

his gaze is relentless, unyielding, burning straight through you.

“don’t get all shy now.”

your entire body flushes, heat spreading across your skin like a wildfire.

but the way he’s watching you—waiting—daring you to keep going...

it’s too much.

your fingers tremble, but you do it.

hesitant, slow, just a little embarrassed, but when you touch yourself again—

he groans.

low and deep in his throat.

like watching you is physically affecting him.

“fuck,” he mutters under his breath, running a hand through his hair, the muscles in his jaw tensing.

he doesn’t even hesitate.

his hands move to the hem of his shirt, tugging it over his head in one swift motion, tossing it aside carelessly.

your breath catches as your eyes trail over him—broad shoulders, toned chest, the deep ridges of his abs, the sharp dip of his v-line disappearing beneath the waistband of his jeans.

his fingers work quickly, unbuckling his belt, unzipping his pants, freeing himself.

“goddamn,” he mutters, palming himself, already so achingly hard.

“you're gonna make me lose my fucking mind.”

before you can react, he’s climbing onto the bed, hovering over you, his body radiating heat.

his eyes burn with something wild. something primal.

he watches your fingers move against yourself, his lips parting slightly, his breathing heavier.

and then—his hand wraps around your wrist.

firm. possessive. grounding.

“lemme help, baby,” he murmurs, brushing your hand away to take over.

his fingers replace yours, slipping between your folds, teasing, exploring.

“since you clearly need me so bad.”

you’re completely at his mercy now.

⟢ sehun

he was just coming to grab his phone charger.

but when he steps inside and sees you, everything stills.

his breath. his movements. his entire body.

holy shit.

the lazy, indifferent air that usually surrounds him is gone. in its place, something sharper. darker. hungrier.

his expression shifts, amusement flickering in his eyes as they darken, dragging over your bare skin, the way your chest rises and falls in sharp, uneven breaths.

the way your thighs tremble, still parted, still aching.

caught. helpless. ruined.

“tsk.”

the sound clicks from his tongue, disappointed. teasing. entertained.

you barely have time to react before he’s moving closer.

your pulse jumps. panic and heat war inside you as you scramble to yank the sheets over yourself, but before you can, his fingers wrap firmly around your wrist.

stopping you. grounding you. owning you.

“don’t.”

his voice is low. steady. final.

your breath catches, heart pounding in your chest.

his grip is warm, firm, inescapable.

he tilts your chin up with his other hand, forcing you to meet his gaze.

your stomach flips at what you see there—control. amusement. something more dangerous simmering beneath the surface.

his thumb brushes your bottom lip, voice silk and steel as he murmurs:

“keep going.”

your pulse stutters.

“w-what?” your voice barely makes it out.

his smirk deepens. slow. devastating.

“i said, keep going,” he repeats, his grip on your wrist tightening just slightly—a warning, a command.

“i wanna see how desperate you are before i touch you.”

your entire body burns.

heat curls in your stomach as you lower your trembling hand back between your thighs, your fingers brushing against the soft pink silicone of your favorite toy.

sehun sees it, and his smirk twists into something even darker.

“that one, huh?” he muses, stepping back just slightly, his arms crossing as he settles in to watch.

“figured you'd use that pretty pink one when i'm not around.”

your breath shudders.

his words shouldn’t make you hotter, wetter, needier. but they do.

with shaky hands, you press the toy back against yourself, the first buzz sending a sharp jolt of pleasure through you.

your legs twitch, and sehun chuckles, tilting his head.

“good girl,” he murmurs. “just like that. don’t be shy, baby, let me hear you.”

your lips part as a soft moan slips free, hips rolling against the vibrations.

“fuck,” he exhales, eyes glued to you.

but then—he moves.

his hands drop to the waistband of his sweats, loosening them.

your breath stutters as he shoves them down just enough, his boxers slipping along with them, freeing his already aching length.

your stomach tightens.

he wraps a hand around himself, slow, lazy strokes, matching your pace.

his jaw tightens, a quiet groan slipping past his lips.

“shit, baby,” he mutters, voice deeper now, rougher. “you really were desperate, huh?”

your fingers tighten around the toy, the pleasure building, coiling tighter, hotter, deeper.

sehun notices.

his strokes speed up, his breathing heavier, his free hand moving to grip your thigh.

"you’re close," he murmurs, watching the way your body tenses, trembles.

his thumb brushes over your knee, almost gentle, almost cruel.

“let me hear you, baby. tell me how good it feels.”

“so—so good,” you gasp, legs trembling.

his smirk deepens, his strokes getting sloppier.

“that’s it,” he groans, eyes flickering between where the toy is pressed against you and the way your lips part with every moan.

“cum for me, baby,” he whispers, voice dripping with control, command, absolute possession.

“cum while i watch you fall apart.”

and you do.

the pleasure crashes over you, your back arching, your thighs quaking as the orgasm rips through you.

sehun groans, watching every second, every shudder, every moan.

his grip tightens, his pace stutters, and then—

“ah—fuck,” he growls, breath hitching, head tipping back as he follows you over the edge.

your body twitches, your breathing ragged, still caught in the aftermath of pleasure.

sehun licks his lips, eyes still locked on you.

his thumb swipes lazily over your sensitive, overstimulated skin, his smirk returning.

“next time?” he exhales, leaning down, his lips brushing your ear.

“that toy’s staying in the drawer.”

⟢ kyungsoo

the room is dim, the only light coming from the soft glow of your laptop screen. the air is thick, heavy with something intimate, something forbidden—something that shouldn’t have been interrupted.

but it is.

the door clicks open, and you freeze.

your fingers instantly still, your breath catching in your throat.

kyungsoo stands at the threshold, silent, unmoving, unreadable. his dark eyes flick to the screen first, and that’s when you see it—recognition. his jaw tightens, his lips part slightly, and his gaze shifts to you.

you’re sprawled out, legs trembling, still holding the toy between your thighs.

still playing the video.

his voice. his hands. his body.

the kyungsoo on the screen is behind you, voice thick with pleasure as he murmurs filthy things into your ear, his hands gripping your waist. it’s one of the videos from your hidden folder—the one you made in that hotel room, the one where you begged for him over and over until your voice was raw.

and now, kyungsoo—the real kyungsoo—is watching you watch him.

his adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, slow and deliberate.

“you couldn’t wait for me?”

his voice is low, deceptively calm, but there’s a dangerous edge to it.

your face burns as you scramble to shut the laptop, but his voice stops you.

“don’t.”

it’s not a request.

your body tenses, eyes flickering up to meet his. he’s still by the door, arms crossed, but there’s a shift—something dark, something possessive coiling beneath his controlled exterior.

“start it over.”

your stomach flips. “w-what?”

his gaze doesn’t waver. “i said, start it over.”

your fingers tremble as you drag the cursor back to the beginning of the video.

the screen flickers, and suddenly, it’s you again. your moans, your hands grasping at his back, the wet sounds of skin against skin.

kyungsoo watches, completely still, his breathing deep and controlled. then, his eyes lower—to you.

“keep going.”

your breath stutters. “kyungsoo, i—”

his head tilts slightly, dark eyes narrowing.

“you started without me. now finish.”

a shiver racks your spine.

you hesitate for only a second, but the way he’s looking at you—like he’s waiting, like he’s testing you, like he wants to see how far you’ll go—has you reaching for the toy again.

your fingers tremble as you press it back against yourself.

the first vibration makes you gasp, thighs twitching, and kyungsoo notices everything. the flicker in your expression. the way your body responds. the way you try to contain your sounds as the video plays in the background.

his eyes stay locked onto you, but his fingers twitch at his sides.

“you do this a lot?” his voice is smooth, but there’s something dangerous beneath it.

You shake your head, breathless. “n-no.”

“liar.”

your stomach clenches.

on the screen, his voice cuts through the room—a deep groan, a curse, the sound of him thrusting deeper.

your entire body trembles.

kyungsoo’s eyes darken. he’s watching everything.

“faster.”

your breath hitches. “kyungsoo—”

his jaw clenches, and he steps closer.

“you wanna cum, don’t you?” his voice is softer now, but no less commanding.

your fingers twitch, and he notices.

“you were close before i got here,” he murmurs. “weren’t you, sweets?”

you nod, barely holding yourself together.

“then don’t stop now.”

your entire body tightens, your thighs trembling as you obey. the toy moves faster, the pleasure building, mounting, suffocating—and he watches every second of it.

kyungsoo doesn’t touch you.

doesn’t need to.

his presence alone—his dark, knowing eyes, the deep timbre of his voice, the weight of his control—is enough to unravel you.

the pleasure builds and builds, coiling tight in your core, a burning, aching need that pushes you closer, closer—until finally, it snaps.

your body jerks, back arching, thighs quivering as the orgasm rips through you. a choked moan spills from your lips, and you barely manage to catch your breath before—

kyungsoo moves.

finally.

his hand grips your chin, firm but controlled, tilting your face up until your dazed, wrecked eyes meet his.

and fuck, his gaze.

dark. heavy. intense.

like he’s memorizing the way you come undone for him. like he’s already planning the next time.

“that’s my good girl,” he murmurs, voice low, deep, possessive.

before you can catch your breath, his tongue swipes up your bottom lip, slow and deliberate, tasting the shaky, desperate whimper that slips from your throat.

your pulse jumps, heat surging through your already sensitive body.

when he pulls back, his eyes flick down—not at your trembling thighs, not at the way your chest still rises and falls in sharp gasps.

but lower.

to the tent in his grey boxers, where a dark spot of precum stains the fabric.

he exhales slowly, jaw tight, muscles flexing as he peels off his white tee, tossing it carelessly onto the floor.

your breath catches.

the soft glow of your laptop screen casts shadows over the lines of his body, highlighting every ridge, every muscle, every sharp dip of his toned stomach.

but your eyes keep drifting lower.

the way his sweats hang low on his hips, how the thick outline of him strains against the fabric of his boxers.

how much he’s already aching for you.

kyungsoo watches you, watches your gaze dip lower, watches the way your thighs instinctively press together despite the way your body is still trembling.

a slow, satisfied smirk curves at the corner of his lips.

“you really think we’re done?” his voice is smooth, calm—too calm.

your breath stutters.

his fingers hook into the waistband of his sweats, pushing them down in one slow, fluid motion, his boxers following right after.

and when he steps forward, pressing hot, solid, burning skin against your still-sensitive body, his hand cups your jaw, thumb brushing over your lip.

“you made a mess of yourself for me,” he murmurs, tilting his head, his mouth hovering just over yours.

“now let me return the favor.”

⟢ junmyeon

he blinks.

once.

twice.

his lips part, but no words come out at first.

then, after a slow exhale—

“oh.”

your stomach plummets.

your entire body burns with humiliation as you scramble, yanking the sheets up to cover yourself, as if that could somehow erase what he just saw.

as if that could make it go away.

your heart is pounding, a frantic, erratic rhythm that drowns out everything else.

“i—i can explain—”

suho exhales slowly, rubbing the back of his neck, his jaw tight. tense.

“explain what?”

his voice is calm. too calm. dangerously calm.

but his eyes?

his eyes tell a different story.

dark. sharp. heated. hungry.

his gaze drops, flickering down to where you’re still clutching the sheets, hiding what he already saw.

what he already knows.

“explain how you’re touching yourself thinking about me?”

oh fuck.

your breath stutters, your grip tightening around the fabric, but before you can even think of an answer, he moves.

he steps closer, his presence heavy, intoxicating, overwhelming.

you don’t move. can’t move.

his fingers brush against your wrist, the touch so light, so teasing, so effortless—but it sends a fresh wave of heat rolling through your already trembling body.

your thighs press together, a futile attempt to calm the ache between them, but his eyes catch the movement.

he sees everything.

his lips curve into a small, knowing smirk.

“baby,” he murmurs, voice smooth, dipping into something lower, deeper, more dangerous.

“you don’t have to do that yourself, ya know?”

his thumb traces lazy circles over your pulse, feeling how frantic, how desperate it is beneath his touch.

his voice dips, softer, teasing.

“that’s my job.”

before you can process what’s happening, his hand moves.

the sheets are torn away, discarded, leaving you exposed beneath him.

his fingers trail down, over your stomach, lower, lower—until they brush against your still-sensitive core.

you shudder. gasp.

“so wet,” he murmurs, more to himself than to you.

his fingers slip between your folds, slow, deliberate strokes, just barely touching you, teasing.

“you got this worked up all by yourself?”

you whimper, hips instinctively rolling into his touch, desperate for more.

“answer me, baby.”

your breath is uneven, every nerve in your body on fire.

“y-yes,” you gasp.

suho exhales sharply, a soft chuckle slipping past his lips, but his fingers don’t stop.

if anything, they slow down.

“bet you were picturing my hands instead of yours.”

his fingers finally press in deeper, curling, sending a sharp jolt of pleasure through you.

your head tips back, a broken moan falling from your lips.

“oh?” his smirk deepens, his tone dipping into something more satisfied. pleased. knowing.

“that’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”

your thighs tremble as the pleasure climbs, builds, intensifies, your body completely at his mercy.

“jun—”

his thumb brushes over your clit, and your words cut off into a whimper.

“shhh,” he soothes, his other hand sliding up to cup your jaw, tilting your face toward him.

forcing you to look at him.

his forehead nearly brushes against yours, his breath warm against your lips as his fingers work you faster, deeper.

“look at me when you cum, baby,” he murmurs, voice dropping to something silky, sinful, commanding.

“wanna see exactly what i do to you.”

and when your orgasm finally crashes over you, when your body tenses and trembles beneath his touch, when your moan breaks apart in his name, he watches it all.

memorizes it. savors it. owns it.

his fingers slow, drawing out every last tremor of pleasure before he finally pulls away.

you’re still shaking, your breath still ragged, but his touch remains—his fingers tracing soft, lazy circles over your overstimulated skin.

his lips brush against your ear, his voice a satisfied hum.

“next time?”

his tongue flicks against your earlobe, teasing.

“just wait for me, baby.”

⟢ baekhyun

baekhyun swears he feels something in him fracture—a jagged, searing break that splinters straight through his chest the moment he steps into the bedroom.

and sees you.

spread out on the bed, bathed in the low, hazy glow of the bedside lamp, your head tipped back against the pillows, lips parted around soft, breathy moans that make his cock throb in his jeans. but it isn’t for him. not for his fingers, his mouth, his cock.

no, it’s for that.

the tiny, pulsing toy nestled between your trembling thighs, the rhythmic buzz of it filling the room, echoing alongside the quiet whimpers slipping from your lips. your fingers grip it like a lifeline, knuckles whitening as your hips roll, chasing something he should be the one giving you.

a muscle in his jaw ticks. something dark coils inside him, a mix of possessiveness and simmering irritation.

he doesn’t hesitate.

“well, well, well. what do we have here?”

his voice is smooth as silk, deep and rich, yet dripping with something venomous—jealousy wrapped in velvet.

your eyes snap open, a sharp gasp catching in your throat. your grip falters, but the vibrator keeps going, relentless against your swollen, sensitive flesh. baekhyun watches with narrowed eyes, drinking in the way your thighs tremble, the way your breath stutters in your chest as his presence fully registers.

“b-baekhyun—”

he doesn’t let you finish. doesn’t let you explain. instead, he moves. a slow, deliberate stride toward you, the weight of his gaze pinning you in place. his fingers wrap around the toy—your precious little lifeline—and pluck it from your grasp without effort. your lips part in protest, eyes wide, a petulant whine slipping past them as he studies the thing between his fingers like it personally offended him.

and then—he tosses it aside.

like it’s nothing.

like it never mattered.

“h-hey!” your voice is high-pitched, laced with frustration. “i wasn’t—i wasn’t finished yet!”

baekhyun clicks his tongue, the sound thick with condescension. he doesn’t look the least bit apologetic. if anything, he looks amused.

“oh, i know you weren’t, sweetheart.” he smirks, watching as your thighs press together instinctively, your body still wound tight from the high that was just within reach. “but, baby, were you really about to cum without me? without my fingers stretching you open first? without my tongue teasing you, getting you all soft and wet for me?”

you glare at him, heat flushing up your chest, but it’s impossible to ignore the way your breath shudders at his words, how the ache between your legs only intensifies under his scrutiny.

“i have something much better for you,” he purrs as he crawls onto the bed, settling between your legs with unbearable ease. his warmth sinks into you, hands gripping your thighs, spreading you open beneath him. his lips ghost over your inner thigh—soft, teasing kisses that leave a scorching path in their wake. his fingers dig in, kneading, possessive.

he glances up at you, amusement flickering in the darkness of his gaze. “so, baby,” he murmurs, lips brushing against your sensitive skin, sending a shiver up your spine, “what’s it gonna be? hmm?”

his voice is thick, dripping with promise.

“my tongue?” a teasing lick just there makes your breath hitch.

“my fingers?” his hand trails upward, fingertips barely grazing over your slick heat before pulling away.

“or do you want my cock instead?” the last words are spoken like a temptation, a promise, a guarantee of ruin.

the choice is yours, but it’s not really a choice at all—because once he’s done, once he’s wrung every last cry and moan from your lips, once he’s torn you apart and put you back together with nothing but his mouth, his hands, and his unyielding determination to remind you exactly who you belong to—

those toys?

they’ll be nothing more than a distant memory.

⟢ minseok

his smirk.

that’s the first thing you see.

slow. knowing. dripping with amusement.

he leans against the doorway, arms crossed over his chest, exuding the kind of effortless dominance that makes your stomach tighten. his gaze pins you in place, dragging over your body—your parted lips, the way your thighs are still twitching, the way your chest rises and falls as you struggle to catch your breath.

he caught you. completely. utterly. helplessly.

“that desperate, baby?”

his voice is low, filthy, teasing in a way that makes your skin burn.

your breath catches, your stomach drops, and panic flares through you as you scramble to yank the sheets over yourself.

but he’s faster.

before you can so much as blink, he’s on you.

strong hands. firm grip. unshakable control.

his fingers wrap around your wrists, yanking them away, pinning them down against the mattress with ease.

“mm, no,” he hums, voice dripping with amusement.

his grip tightens, just enough to make your pulse jump.

“that’s not how you do it, baby.”

he pushes you down, his weight settling between your legs, the heat of his body pressing into yours. he’s so close. too close. but not close enough.

his breath brushes over your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

“if you’re gonna touch yourself thinking about me…”

his knee nudges between your thighs, spreading them wider.

his lips graze over your jaw, not quite kissing, just teasing.

“...at least do it right.”

your breathing is ragged, chest heaving as his hands wander.

one hand trailing down your stomach.

the other pinning you still, making sure you don’t move.

his fingers ghost over your skin, featherlight, tantalizing.

“let me teach you,” he whispers, his smirk pressing against your throat.

“let me show you how good it feels when you do it my way.”

his fingers slide lower.

his grip tightens.

his voice drops to something almost dangerous.

“and this time…”

his tongue flicks over the pulse at your neck, teasing, hot, deliberate.

“you don’t get to finish until i say so.”

⟢ yixing

your breath comes in shaky gasps, your body thrumming, heat coiling tighter and tighter in your belly.

you’re so close.

your fingers work quickly, desperately, rubbing slick, frantic circles against your swollen clit, your legs trembling as the pleasure builds—higher, hotter, almost too much.

just a little more—just a little more.

and then—

the door opens.

fuck.

your entire body jolts, a startled gasp escaping your lips as your head snaps up.

yixing.

he stands frozen in the doorway, his dark eyes locked onto you, lips parted just slightly—like he just walked in on something forbidden. intoxicating. devastatingly hot.

his gaze flickers down, taking in everything.

the way your fingers are still pressed against your soaked folds, the way your body still quivers, trembling from how close you had been.

your stomach drops, embarrassment crashing over you like a tidal wave.

“yixing, i—”

“no need to explain yourself, sweetheart.”

his voice is soft, but firm.

your breath stutters.

“keep going.”

your brows furrow, heat creeping up your cheeks. “huh?”

he takes a slow, deliberate step closer, letting the door click shut behind him.

his tongue swipes over his bottom lip, watching you. calculating. deciding.

“don’t stop now, baby,” he murmurs, his voice low, knowing, teasing.

“you were so close.”

your stomach flips, the burn of embarrassment warring with something hotter, deeper, dirtier.

his eyes never leave yours as he lowers himself onto the bed, settling between your legs.

too close. too much. too overwhelming.

his lips curve into a lazy smirk, eyes flicking down between your thighs.

“so pretty,” he murmurs. “all soaked for me.”

a sharp, embarrassed whimper leaves your throat, and he just smirks deeper.

“keep going, baby,” he urges, his fingers dragging slow, teasing strokes up and down your thighs, his touch featherlight.

“wanna see you get yourself there again.”

your body shudders, still aching, still needing.

your fingers find your clit again, tentative, hesitant, embarrassed.

his eyes darken.

“more,” he exhales, “i want you as desperate as you were before i walked in, angel.”

your fingers press down, working slow but steady, trying to chase the pleasure you had lost.

yixing hums, watching intently, his head lowering until his lips graze the inside of your thigh.

you twitch.

his smirk returns.

“so sensitive,” he murmurs, lips pressing soft, teasing kisses along your inner thigh.

his fingers press against your skin, holding you still, holding you open.

“feels good?” he murmurs, nipping at the sensitive skin, sucking just enough to leave a faint mark.

your breath hitches.

“y-yeah. so good,”

his teeth scrape lightly, his tongue flicking out to soothe the sting.

“good girl.”

his lips trail higher, his breath hot against your skin as he watches your fingers slick with your arousal.

“you look so fucking pretty like this,” he murmurs.

his teeth sink in just slightly, sending a sharp jolt of pleasure-pain through you.

your fingers move faster, circling your clit, thighs trembling as the pleasure climbs again.

yixing hums against your skin, his breath hot, teasing, knowing.

“that’s it, baby,” he murmurs.

“cum for me.”

his teeth scrape against the softest part of your thigh, his fingers digging into your flesh, his voice low, hypnotic, filthy.

“cum for me like a good girl.”

and you do.

pleasure slams into you, your body arching, your mouth falling open in a choked, broken moan.

yixing groans softly, his grip tightening as he holds you through it, watching every shake, every tremor, every twitch of your thighs as you unravel for him.

he licks his lips, watching the way your body twitches, your breath still ragged, your clit still aching.

his smirk turns dangerous.

“‘kay,” he breathes, his fingers spreading you open.

“let’s see if you can cum again for me.”

before you can catch your breath, his lips lock around your still-sensitive bud, his tongue lapping, flicking, teasing.

you’re fucked.

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byuntrash101 · 2 years ago

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being sandwiched between minseok & baekhyun after they’ve just got done finishing a show 😖 lord have mercy

oh my g- sdklsldkslkmdskmdklds

this checks all of the boxes!!!! the original muscle daddy + the orignal slut (baekhyun is a whore i just know it) is THE combo.

god damn i almost passed out writing this... im 🥵🥵🥵

tags: double penetration (vaginal and anal), sweat kink (typical me because im nasty like that), squirting, unprotected sex, creampie, getting caught kink, dirty talk

You have no choice but to claw at Baekhyun's back as Minseok slips his thick member inside you by the only hole still available. The two men holding you up in the air, you wrap your legs around Baekhyun's waist as the two men hover you above their hard and dripping cocks. You don't know if you'll be able to keep quiet for long given how good and full you feel from front to back.

But it seems like the boys notice your struggle and Baekhyun wraps his pretty hand around your mouth the muffle your little whimpers of pleasure.

"Be quiet baby" he whispers in your ear as you feel him slowly pull out of you, making your wet cunt gush out and produce lewd squelshing noises. "We don't want the manager to find out you're letting us use your body like this right baby girl?"

"You could definetely lose your job over this you know" Minseok adds. And you shook your head in horror to the idea. Being a makeup artist was your calling but what you were most afraid of right now was to lose the opportunity to be squeezed between the two men like you have been countless times.

After a show they always needed a way to relieve tension and what better way than to fuck their favourite little cock sleeve stupid until you can't think straight or walk for days?

"Fuckkkk" you whisper as Baekhyun lets his hand slip from your mouth to your throat. Pushing his dick back into your throbbing cunt. Just as Minseok pushed himself inside your little rim.

"You're clenching so hard baby" Minseok moans in your ear as his sweaty chest is pressed on your bare back. "You want my cum that bad?" he chuckles picking up the pace.

"Yes!" you gasp. "Yes please cum inside me" you beg.

"What a little cum hungry whore you are" Baekhyun says as you catch a bead of sweat running down his long neck. You wrap your lips around his collarbone licking the sweat all the way up his ear. The bitter taste fills your head making you forget about everyhting that is not them their two cocks rubbing against each other inside you right now.

Baekhyun smashes his hips inside you, setting the pace and Minseok follows also adopting the unfirgiving pace.

"Fuck I'm gonna cum" you squeak trying to make as little noise as possible, immediatly biting Baekhyun's neck to keep yourself from screaming.

"Cum on both our dicks, baby" Baekhyun urges as his hips start to stutter.

Your worn out little pussy and shapeless asshole start to pulse around their cocks as you reach your climax. And it's the last straw for them. Your orgasming holes milk them dry, draining their balls to the last drop of precious cum that is over flowing your holes and dripping down the dark changing room's floor as you uncontrollably shake in their arms, eyes rolled back, breath short and toes curled. The pleasure is so overwhelming that you spray your cum in a powerful stream completely soaking the two men before your body goes limp.

"I'm so glad we get to do this all over again tomorrow" Baekhyun says, zipping his soaked pants up.

"I'm taking her pussy tomorrow!" Minseok concludes

a/n: almost did not survive this.

#baekhyun smut #xiumin smut #minseok smut #exo smut #exo drabble #hard hours #exo hard hours #baekhyun x reader #xiumin x reader

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paintingwhiteceilings · 8 months ago

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can you make exo members as your childhood best friend? and with fem reader please! love your writing <3

❃EXO members as your childhood best friend❃

A/N: Hiii thank you so much for this ask! I am so sorry that it has taken me months to finally respond to it :’) I spent the last few months birthing a 35.000-word, 65-page thesis so I didn’t have any time/energy left to do any creative writing. Regardless, thank you for this cute ask! It was fun reminiscing over my memories with my childhood friend that I have known since I was four months old. Thank you for being so patient with me the very long wait, hopefully, this makes up for it!

Xiumin/Minseok:

✾ Xiumin and you became friends during recess in primary school. He noticed your classmates constantly picked you last whenever you played a game together during recess. Thus, whenever he was chosen to be a team captain, he made sure to pick you first, resulting in you two becoming close friends.

✾ Your mom adores him; heck, she prefers him over you. Xiumin has always been the perfect son; he got perfect grades, is polite, is handsome, cleans up after himself, etc. Whenever you call her, she asks whether you can pass the phone to him so she can ask her favourite child how he is doing.

✾ He is a very consistent friend. Regardless of how busy his schedule is, he makes sure to drop by your place regularly. If he can't visit you in person, he will have a four-hour phone call with you instead, where you two talk about everything and anything happening in your lives.

✾ At some point during your friendship, he had a massive crush on you. He never told you -and you might not have noticed it- but it was incredibly obvious to everyone around you as they watched him follow you with puppy dog eyes. Your mother still holds out hope that you will end up together.

Suho/Junmyeon:

✾ You guys became friends all the way back in pre-school when Suho noticed you were having trouble learning how to tie your shoelaces. Five-year-old Suho wasted no time and offered to help you out, patiently teaching you how to do it. You have stuck together ever since, remaining close throughout your teenage years.

✾ Suho dragged you through secondary school; if it hadn't been for him functioning as your tutor throughout your educational career, you would not have had the grades you ended up graduating with. Nowadays, he mostly gives you advice on work and will look over contract details with you when needed.

✾ He was 1000% your wealthy, rich best friend growing up. His childhood birthday parties were incredibly lavish; he would take all his friends to theme parks when he was younger, his parents paying for every expense. Even nowadays, he never misses a chance to spoil you rotten, taking you on already-paid-for trips whenever he is able to.

✾ You guys have stayed at each other's places so often that you call each other's parents mom and dad. It is not unusual for one of you to have dinner with the other's parents without the other present.

✾ Compared to the other members, he is less consistent with meetups, not minding it too much when a lot of time passes between phone calls. You can go months without talking to each other before sending the other a random TikTok or stopping by each other's place unannounced.

Baekhyun:

✾ The two of you have a crazy story of how you met. You met Baekyhun shortly after moving into the same street. At the time, you were convinced mermaids were real, so you decided it was perfectly reasonable to dive into the river running next to your house to introduce yourself to them without actually being able to swim. Luckily for you, Baekyhun happened to be playing nearby and jumped in after you without a second thought, rescuing you from drowning. He still holds it over you whenever he needs a favour.

✾ You have so many weird stories of when you were growing up together. You two would constantly get into trouble, most of it initiated by Baekyhun. It got to the point where your teachers decided to put you in different classes to prevent you two from pulling pranks during class.

✾ Your place is his place, and vice versa. On one occasion, you accidentally switched apartments; Baekyhun had gone over to yours whilst you had visited him. You still complain that he should cover your grocery bills as he tends to eat most of the food in your fridge whenever he is over.

✾ Baekyhun is such a loyal friend; he will always have your back and drop everything to come running when you tell him you need him. Baekyhun has friends he has known for over 20 years; he is a friend for life.

Chen/Jongdae:

✾ Your dad and his dad were best friends, introducing you to one another when you were two years old in the hopes you would become best friends, too. At first, you two were painfully shy, hiding behind your fathers to stare at the other strange kid, but after leaving you two alone for an hour, you two became quick friends.

✾ He acts very much like a brother. Chen can be super annoying, teasing you whenever he gets a chance, but he will drop everything and anything when you call him. He will not let anyone else -not even his members- tease you; it is only okay if he does it.

✾ You two give each other the best advice. You guys regularly call each other to talk about whatever problems and hardships you are going through.

✾ Chen wasted no time in asking you to be one of the bridesmaids at his wedding. God knows how much you contributed to the two getting together and how much time you spent helping Chen plan the proposal.

✾ Chen and his wife immediately called you to ask whether you wanted to be the godmother the moment they discovered she was pregnant. He cannot wait for you to have a child of your own so they can become best friends, too.

Chanyeol:

✾ You two met in primary school when you were six, and your teacher decided to have you sit together. Chanyeol got super competitive when he discovered you had gotten a higher grade than him on a spelling test, resulting in a friendly rivalry. To this day, you two get along perfectly well, but the moment that grades or board games are involved, a war will break out.

✾ He 1000% bullied you into playing video games with him. Chanyeol even bought you a gaming laptop, trying to convince you to join him. Regardless of his schedule or location, you have a regular game night where you play random multiplayer games, affectionately yelling at each other.

✾ You developed a tiny crush on Chanyeol when you first saw him after he got his growth spurt. It did not last very long, however; you remembered he was the same Chayeol who once ate a crayon on a dare and puked the contents of his stomach all over your shoes.

✾ Chanyeol is the worst wingman. He is very protective over you, and, according to his opinion, nobody is good enough to date you. Whenever you go out drinking, he will lurk behind you, attempting to intimidate whoever dares to come up to you. This man might be secretly in love with you and absolutely in denial about his feelings.

✾ Chanyeol once wrote a song about your friendship, but he has not yet made up his mind on whether he wants to release it. Part of him feels he should save it for a solo album.

D.O./Kyungsoo:

✾ You met Kyungsoo as he is the son of your mother's best friend. His mother had asked yours to introduce you two as Kyungsoo was a painfully shy child, and she wanted him to have more friends his age. Initially, he was quiet around you, hiding behind his mother whenever she brought him over. However, he slowly came out of his shell the more you played together.

✾ You two didn’t attend the same schools but remained good friends nonetheless. Whenever school would end, you would rush to meet up underneath a big old tree in the park near your house. You would sit there for hours, talking about your day or doing your homework together, until it got dark.

✾ Kyungsoo never told you, but you were the main reason why he pursued a career in acting and singing. You never failed to hype him up, giving him the confidence to put himself out there. He fondly remembers the countless karaoke nights where you would be his biggest fan, praising his skills when the song would end.

✾ He definitely developed a crush on you somewhere during your teenage years. Kyungsoo never felt the need to act on it, finding your friendship too precious to risk anything. His friends were very aware of it, though, teasing him whenever he would rush out the moment school ended to meet up with you.

Kai/Jongin:

✾ You two met on a playground when you were three years old. Someone had pushed you off the wigwam, and Kai, seeing you cry, stood up for you as much as a three-year-old can stand up for someone else. He refused to leave your side after, playing with you until it was time to go home. You two have been close friends ever since.

✾ He insisted on you taking dance classes with him, thinking it was fun to have something to do together. It became your regular weekly meetup point, enabling you to stay connected even when you went to different schools. You would show up an hour before class would start, just so you could talk without being scolded by the teacher, and would take your sweet time walking home, squeezing out as much time as you could.

✾ You recognize that Kai is incredibly handsome whenever you see him perform, but all you are able to see when he thrusts his hips is the same kid who once fell into a pond when he was collecting a bunch of rocks because he thought they were pretty and cried over a feather because he felt bad for the bird that lost it. Having so many embarrassing childhood memories of him is why you are still sane and not drooling over him.

✾ Kai bombards you with messages throughout the day; you once had over fifty notifications from him as he sent you every video and photo of a dog or cat he stumbled upon.

Sehun:

✾ You and Sehun met during daycare and initially did not get along whatsoever. You two got into a fight when Sehun stole the stuffed animal you were playing with, resulting in the caretaker putting the both of you in time-out. Weirdly enough, you bonded over your time in toddler jail, becoming inseparable after you were set free.

✾ Sehun and you constantly bicker with one another, having no problem calling the other one out or, as you like to put it, keeping the other person humble. To those who know you well, they liken your dynamic to that of an old married couple. However, people who do not know your friendship tend to assume you hate each other.

✾ Sehun gets insanely jealous when you hang out with his members or other friends of his. You are his friend, and as much as he likes his friends getting along, the bratty part of him hates when you do not have time for him. He will become incredibly whiny when too much time has passed between meetups and when he feels like you are ditching him for your friends.

✾ Sehun is your favourite gossip buddy. He will randomly call you to tell you whatever drama he witnessed or caught wind of. If calling is not an option, he will instead send you a thirty-minute voice note explaining the situation in full detail. Your chat is basically a podcast where you update one another about people you do not know and drama that does not concern you.

Masterlist

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dibidibidismynameisleeknow · 3 months ago

Text

Do people still write for exo?

Sure, I got into them 'late' but even when I started listening to them and looking for fics it's like the writing fandom was barren. I NEED Baekhyun fics, I NEED Xiumin fics

#baekhyun x reader #xiumin x reader #exo fic

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aceri1485 · 1 year ago

Text

Fired

Xiumin x reader

key words: backstage, concert, stage hand, smut (18+, read at own risk — consensual, oral, penetration, some dom/sub, unprotected), fluff (does this count as fluff?), slow burn

authors note: (1) this is purely fiction, please don’t be delusional and no I don’t think this would ever happen irl (2) protagonist (ie. the reader) gender is ambiguous on purpose, I want anyone to be able to read this and enjoy (3) I wrote this at 3am please don’t judge me too harshly

————————-

After seeing them perform live for the 7th time in a row, you finally concluded that it would never get old. After the euphoria of the first concert, you had worried that it would get monotonous - watching the same songs, the flashing lights, the screaming fans, same videos, costumes, jokes, sentiments, and on and on… but it was magic every time.

Maybe it was because the concerts were spaced out and in different arenas, making the experience feel fresh with some time between and new scenery. Maybe it was the lack of sleep from touring for a month straight.

Or maybe it was because you had a different job at each concert, so you could enjoy it from different angles; your first night, you were on selling merch at a booth and got to watch the concert in the nosebleed section; the second night you were on water bottle duty and watched from literally right below the front of the stage, cracking open water bottles to hand up to the men between sections; the third night, you were helping in wardrobe, backstage with extra shoes, outfit changes and hairspray at the ready to hand to the stylists; the fourth and fifth night you were back on merchandise sales, but in different sections of the arena; the sixth night you assisted one of the photographers, handing them different lenses and running to get them water, sprinting around the entire arena and backstage the whole night; and finally, tonight - tonight, you are on water bottle duty but backstage, not out in front of the stage.

“Hey - are you alright?” Sam asks, touching your shoulder gently, “You spaced out there for a minute.”

“Oh,” you startle slightly, turning to Sam with a smile, feeling your cheeks and the ends of your ears get warm “Sorry! I guess I was lost in thought! Were you saying something?”

Sam covers the end of the mouthpiece to the headset that is so crucial to the role of stage manager and leans in close to your ear so you can hear over the music, “I said they’ll be coming off stage soon, can you go grab a new pack of water bottles from the fridge?”

“Yes, I’ll go!” you give Sam a thumbs up to indicate you heard and turn to dash down the hallway away from the stage.

“WAIT!” you hear and turn back to see Sam holding out a radio “Take this!”

You hesitate only a minute - usually only the senior staff members have a radio on them - but the song changes and you realize you don’t have much more time left. With a bright smile and another thumbs up, you grab the radio and run down the hall.

Sam had spoken to you that afternoon, saying that the team was impressed with your work ethic and clear excitement to be involved. You hadn’t thought about if you wanted this to be a permanent position past this tour. The short term contract for a stage hand had looked like a fun opportunity and good experience, but you hadn’t considered turning it into a career, leaving behind the corporate grind for a different kind - a more fulfilling kind - of stress.. until Sam’s compliments earlier today.

Now, you clip the radio to the waistband of your jeans, this small show of confidence from Sam making pride blossom in your chest and a smile form on your face in a way no compliment from your old boss ever had.

Good god, why is the green room so far away from the stage? you think, a little embarrassed by your shortness of breath and the sweat forming on your brow as you enter the communal waiting area, startling another staff member on break enjoying some coffee. You give them a smile and a little wave, beelining straight for the fridge.

Pack of water bottles now in hand, you hear the song change again and swear lightly under your breath.

“Need that water ASAP please!” Sam’s voice crackles over your radio.

Balancing the water on one arm, you radio back “On the way, boss!”

Other voices chime in, “wait, who’s voice was that?” “Oh hoo big shot now with a walkie?” “Ah they grow up so fast!” the team teases you. You laugh, but regret it as a stitch in your side forms from running back to the stage with the pack of water bottles.

That’s it, you think to yourself, No more skipping cardio day at the gym.. or skipping the gym altogether!

You make it back to Sam just as the song ends, setting the pack down on a little table and ripping it open. Laughing at your flushed face, Sam helps you open the pack and hands you the first bottle.

You smile even broader, mouthing THANK YOU at Sam - the screaming from the crowd now too loud to be heard over - and hold the cool bottle against the back of your neck. Turning your attention to the stage, you see the dancers bounding over to you, adrenaline mixed with joy and an almost manic energy reverberating off of them onto the rest of the staff backstage.

They each say a quick “thank you” as they take a water bottle from you before running off to their next positions or to wardrobe. You take care to smile at each of them, praise them and encourage them as you pass them a water bottle. You know they probably can’t hear you over the noise and their own buzz of excitement, but you do it anyway.

Once the last dancer has grabbed their water, you crack open your own water bottle and look to the stage to see them.

The 9 men you were all there to support. The 9 men that sold out this and the 6 venues you had been to before this. The 9 men whom were the recipients of all the screaming, all the love from strangers who filled the arena. The 9 men who set the standard for their industry and the example for their juniors. The 9 men who, while they’re dancers were off stage recovering, changing into new outfits and retying their shoelaces, were still on stage, talking to the captivated audience.

Immediately, though, your eyes are drawn to him.

Him, who’s name was screamed by thousands at every show, but always acted humbled and almost embarrassed by the attention. Him, who somehow managed to say everything he needed to in very few words, letting the other members talk as much as they wanted. Him, who was clearly respected and adored by his members, the staff and fans alike.

Him, who locked eyes with you on your second night as you handed a water bottle up to the stage and squinted curiously, his fingers brushing yours and sending an electric spark down your arm. Him, who saw you after your third show backstage and came over to say hi, saying he had been expecting you to hand him water that night, who said hello to you at your fifth show and introduced you to the other members, even remembering your name, and who, at your sixth show, blushed furiously for some reason when you complimented a pose he did for the photographer you assisted.

Him. Xiumin. Him, who you couldn’t get off your fucking mind.

Him, standing on stage now in suit pants and suit jacket with no shirt underneath, sweat running down his face and chest, holding a water bottle to the back of his neck just like you had done a few minutes prior, but much more warranted given the amount of work he had just done.

Almost as if he can sense your eyes drilling holes into him as you memorize every little detail, Xiumin turns to look backstage. You swear he looks right at you and smiles, but then you realize the members are thanking the stage crew - and anyways, it’s much too dark back here for him to have singled you out. It doesn’t stop you from smiling back, nor can you bring yourself to look away.

Instead, barely blinking, you take a big drink of water. On stage, you see Xiumin swallow hard and turn his attention back to the crowd.

Just then, someone over the radio asks for some towels - a water bottle was spilled by the makeup station and if it doesn’t get cleaned up quickly you’ll have an angry makeup artist and a disgruntled manager to deal with - and you radio back quickly, turning from the stage to run to the dressing rooms.

You run away, missing Xiumin’s not-so-covert glance backstage again, his brows furrowing as he squints into the darkness, not seeing what he is looking for while he moves to the next stage position and the next song starts.

—-

“Right, everyone, well done tonight!” Sam yells, waving at the stage crew to get everyone’s attention, “Well done, well done! Round of applause for yourselves and your hard work!”

The stage crew all clap, and some of the more rowdy lightning technicians start cheering. The good energy is contagious, despite how exaughsted everyone is.

You stifle a yawn that threatens to break your smile as you clap along with the team. It’s nearly 1am; the fans have all cleared out ages ago, but the stage crew has just finished resetting the stage for tomorrow night - No, later tonight you correct yourself drowsily.

This is the first time since you started that you didn’t need to pack up the stage completely to move to a new location.

“All technicians, you’re free to go! Go get some rest, because I expect you back here by 1pm!” Sam says once the applause dies out, “Stage hands and assistants, check in with your assigned leaders or managers before you go - there are still a few things that need to be wrapped up. Understood?”

A unified “yes boss!” is the response, much less energetic than the applause before.

The team breaks into their different departments and groups, and you head over to where Sam is waiting with a few other stage hands. Sam quickly gives the others their assignments, sending them to make sure various sections are reset and ready for the next day, checking inventory, tidying up, etcetera.

You wait patiently, watching the time creep past 1am, getting the sense that Sam is leaving you for last on purpose. You surprise yourself, being able to exercise patience when you’ve been awake for close to 18 hours straight.

Finally, the others have dispersed, and Sam turns to you. “Well done again tonight,” Sam smiles, “How are you feeling?”

You smile back, hoping your weariness isn’t showing too badly, “I feel great! I know there were some hiccups here and there, but it was really satisfying to know that nothing that happened backstage affected the quality of the show.”

Sam laughs “Oh god, how are you forming complete thoughts right now? I’m too tired for this!” Sam gives you a light shove, “hey, if you keep talking like that I might just have to properly promote you - are you coming after my job?”

Both of you laughing, Sam throws an arm over your shoulder and starts leading you down the hallway to the dressing rooms and the green room.

“How would you feel about a little more responsibility tomorrow night?” Sam asks while you walk.

“Hmm..” you pretend to think about it deeply, “it depends - would I still have to see you?”

“Hey” Sam says back in mock astonishment “am I really that ugly?” You’re both laughing as you pass the green room to stand outside the members dressing rooms.

“I was hoping to put you on the members main team, instead of general or standby” Sam continues, “meaning you’ll attend to the members specific needs or requests instead of random tasks.”

You hesitate, “Isn’t that usually the assistants or their managers job?”

“Yes, they help too!” Sam explains, “You would be joining that smaller team instead of being placed wherever we need extra hands for the night. Mainly, I need someone to be the go between from myself, the managers and the members.”

Seeing you still hesitating, Sam says “Why don’t we try it for right now, and if you’re uncomfortable we’ll go back to how it was?” Sam suggests, “The members are still here, getting their makeup removed and wardrobes reset for tomorrow night.”

You take a deep breath and think, your eyebrows scrunching together. You didn’t want to admit it to yourself, but you were genuinely considering trying to join the team permanently. This little change could be the ticket to doing so.. or, if you screwed up, could mean getting fired immidiately.

But it was worth the risk.

After another deep breath, you straighten your shoulders and look at Sam. “Let’s do it!”

Sam breaks into a smile, “Great! Let’s introduce you then!” and knocks on the door to the dressing room you are standing in front of.

A voice calls “Come in!” from inside, and you both step through the door to see two of the members, Chen and Sehun, just on the other side ready to leave. You and Sam quickly excuse yourselves and step out of the way. Sam briefly stops the manager accompanying them to introduce you, then you both wish them all a goodnight and send them off.

Just before they walk away, Chen’s face brightens and he asks if you are the staff member who Xiumin had introduced to them a couple shows ago. Flattered that he remembered you, you say yes.

Sehun, who was looking at his phone, looks up with interest suddenly, a boyish smile on his face. He nudged Chen, speaking to him while still looking at you, “hey, is Xiumin coming with us now?”

You and Sam say goodnight again, closing the door of the dressing room, and you don’t catch Chen’s answer.

Turning to see the rest of the room, you see the man in question, Xiumin, sitting in front of a makeup desk rubbing his face with a towel. A makeup artist beside him points to a bit of eye makeup that he missed, and Xiumin leans closer to the mirror to see better.

Sam is introducing you to another manager sitting on a couch in the room, so you don’t see Xiumin freeze as he catches sight of you in the mirror, but you do hear the makeup artist ask if he is okay.

“Oh,” Xiumin clears his throat, “yes, I’m okay”

While he finishes wiping away the bit of missed makeup, Sam introduces you to the makeup artist. You very purposefully do not look at Xiumin, feeling self conscious about your reflection being visible in the same mirror as his.

Sam goes to introduce the two of you, but Xiumin interrupts “how have you been?”

Sam’s eyes widen “Ahh you’ve met already?”

“Very briefly!” you explain, “We met in the hallway at one of the previous shows.”

You finally look at Xiumin to see him turned fully away from the mirror and looking straight at you.

“How are you?” You ask politely, trying to stop your heart from jumping out of your chest and looking anywhere but his eyes oh god his eyes why is he looking at you with those eyes?!

Xiumin smiles politely back, “I’m doing well! I’m glad you’ll be joining our team. Good luck - I hope you aren’t intimidated by us.” He then turns his attention back to the makeup artist, and they continue their conversation, discussing what skincare products he should use before going to bed.

Sam guides you out of the room and across the hall to the other dressing room, making more introductions as you pass various team members. You learn that Lay, Chanyeol, and D.O. left for the hotel already, but say hello to Suho, also removing his makeup. Kai is absorbed with something on his phone, sitting on the couch. You hear the private shower in the room running and the manager explains Baekhyun is in it.

“Oh gosh, we’ll step out then!” Sam says, “We could have waited outside!”

“Ah don’t worry!” the manager laughs “The bathroom door locks, he’s fine”

Just at that moment, the shower stops, and you hear the door open a crack.

A hand slips out the door, “hey” Baekhyun calls to the manager, “can you hand me a towel?”

“Doesn’t look like there are any here,” the manager says, checking the cupboard beside the bathroom door, “Are there none in there with you?”

You gasp, and everyone turns to look at you, and you feel your cheeks and ears warm again. You just remembered this was the room you took the towels from to clean up the spilled water from earlier, and you never found replacements.

“That’s my bad..” you say, briefly explaining that you had taken the towels earlier, “I will go grab one from the other room, give me just a minute!”

You dash across the hall, quickly noting that the shower in that room is now running as well, the makeup artist and manager now gone, and grab a spare towel from the cupboard outside the bathroom door. You feel the cupboard door catch on your jeans, but pull away without looking, quickly crossing the hall back to the other room.

You hand the towel to the manager, who knocks and hands it into the bathroom for Baekhyun, who has apparently discovered the shower has wonderful acoustic properties and is singing (shouting?) at the top of his lungs.

While Suho yells back at him to stop yelling to save his voice and also to hurry up, you and the manager chat a bit more.

“Did Sam get called away?” You ask, glancing around.

“Yes, didn’t you hear on your radio?” The manager replied “one of the other stage hands needed help.”

“No, I didn’t..” you reach for your radio clipped to your waistband to make sure the volume is turned up, your hands freezing as you realize the radio is not there.

The sensation of the cupboard door snagging on your jeans when you ran into the other dressing room comes back to you and you politely excuse yourself to go search for your radio.

Knocking softly, you enter the room after you hear someone yell back “Come in!”, and you turn to close the door softly behind you.

“I’m almost ready to go, I just need to get my-“ you hear from behind you, but the words drift off, the sentence incomplete.

Turning to face the room, you take in very little from your surroundings but two facts stick out to you.

1. the only other person in the room with you is Xiumin

2. Xiumin is only wearing a towel wrapped around his waist

“Oh fuck” you say, immediately clamping a hand over your eyes, the other hand reaching for the door handle behind you, “I’m SO sorry, I’ll just-“

“Wait” Xiumin says, almost a whisper.

You freeze, too in shock to realize how ridiculous you must look, one hand covering your eyes, your other arms stretch out behind you, tensed, your knees bent like you just landed a small jump.

You feel him approach more than you hear him, feel the heat coming off his body as he stops beside you. More aware of yourself, you straighten up, but keep your hand over your eyes. A soft click tells you the door has been locked behind you.

Oh I’m so so fucked. He’s probably so mad, you think to yourself, so much for this opportunity, I’m so fucking fired now!

For what feels like an eternity, neither of you speak. You resist the urge to peak out from between your fingers, waiting for him to make the first move. The heat beside you doesn’t leave; he is still standing right beside you.

You feel him move, then, circling behind you and to your other side.

Finally, he speaks, under his breath so you barely catch it “you follow directions really well..”

Your breath hitches and you can’t stop goose bumps from breaking out all over your arms. You hear him laugh, but it’s deeper than you remember hearing him laugh on stage, comes from lower in his chest than normal, more of a chuckle than an outburst of joy.

You feel the heat from beside you subside as he takes a step back, hear his sharp intake of breath.

“I..” you hear him hesitate, and he pauses for a few seconds before continuing, “I don’t mean to keep you here. I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable. You can go if you like.”

You hear him move to the far side of the room, and a sudden boldness surges though you, maybe triggered by the goose bumps fading from your skin, maybe the relief of realizing you weren’t going to be fired, not right then anyways. Maybe you were going crazy from being awake for so long.

Or maybe.. maybe the memory of him on stage earlier, the sweat running down his chest, over his collarbone, his pants tight in all the right places, his face turned backstage.. maybe you had been thinking about that all night, damnit.

“And what if I want to stay?” you blurt out, hand still covering your eyes. Your other hand curls into a fist with anxiety as again you feel, rather than hear, him freeze on the other side of the room.

A whole minute passes - or at least 60 heartbeats pass, because all you can do while you stay rooted in place is count your heart beats and wait for him to say something - before you feel him move closer to you again.

“Fuck,” he says, his voice quiet and deep, and coming from much nearer to you than you realized, “I want.. I want you, I want this, but I can’t ask you to stay, it’s-“

“What if I want it to?” you say, your voice also low, his words fanning the spark that had already started in your stomach, emboldening you in a way you never knew possible.

He hesitates again before replying, “what if you regret it?”

“Will I regret it?” you ask, almost holding your breath to hear his reply.

“… No.”

Another pause.

“Lower your hand but keep your eyes closed.”

You do as he says, feeling him step even closer , the warmth from beside you now directly infront of you, closer than within arms reach. Your willpower and patience surprise you for the second time that night, in a startlingly different situation than the last time,

The crackle of your radio on the floor beside the cupboard makes you both nearly jump out of your skin. Your hand flies to your chest over your heart and you gasp, but somehow you keep your eyes squeezed shut.

“Oh shit-“ Xiumin says, and you hear him go retrieve the radio “-is someone looking for you?” You feel him gently take your hand from your chest and set the radio in it.

It crackles again, and you hear Sam say “Have a good night everyone! See you by 1pm!” Others sound off, “Have a good night!” “See you tomorrow!” and you chime in with a quick “Goodnight!” not trusting your voice to stay steady long enough to say more.

“That reminds me..” Xiumin mumbles, and you hear him rustling around for a few seconds.

“Right” he says, and you feel him coming closer to you again, “my manager has been texted, your supervisor has let you go for the night, everyone else is leaving or gone..”

He takes the radio from your hand gently, his fingers leaving a burning sensation on your skin. Your heartrate has slowed from the scare of the radio going off, but it immediately speeds back up at his touch.

He is close to you again, his warmth making you shiver, goose bumps reappearing. He chuckles again, soft and deep, and the fire in your stomach roars.

“Can I touch you?” he nearly whispers and you shiver even more.

“Yes.”

The word barely falls from your lips before his fingers brush up your arm to your shoulder and trace along your collar bone for a moment. Then his hand is on the side of your neck, his thumb turning your chin from one side to the other, gentle and light as though he was examining a piece of pottery. His thumb brushes over your lips and your eyelids flutter - you so desperately want to look, want to see his expression, finally look into his eyes.

His hand finally rests cupping your face and his other comes to match it on the other side. You feel him step even closer, the heat radiating off of him can’t be more than an inch away.

“Can I kiss you?” he whispers, and the air from his words lands straight onto your lips.

In reply, you lean forward and close the gap between you, eyes still closed, hands clenched at your sides.

The warmth is intoxicating, and the kiss deepens, his hands roaming from the back of your neck to twist into your hair and down to your waist, then finally to pull your arms around him, giving you permission to touch him too. You gasp at the feeling of his bare skin, so hot to the touch, as your hands roam his back, feeling his muscles tense and soften as you touch them.

Your hands finally settle on his waist, just above where the towel, so resolute and intrusive, still solidly wraps around him. Now it’s Xiumin who shivers, pulling away from the kiss to rest his forehead against yours. You both breathe deeply, drunkenly, the fire in your stomach spreading to the rest of your body and warming you to match his heat.

Your eyes are still closed.

Suddenly, Xiumin tenses, you feel his back straighten. His hands disentangle from your hair and he tugs at the bottom of your shirt.

“Off.” he almost grunts, the whispered plea from before replaced with a command.

You don’t hesitate and your shirt lands on the floor, tossed aside without a thought. His hands are back almost immediately, exploring the newly available terrain. You try to breathe steadily, but he becomes amused with the way your breath hitches when one of his fingers brush over your nipples and breathing suddenly becomes a task which requires concentration.

You trace your hands up his abs and chest until you find his face, then step closer to him and guide his lips back to yours. Now your hands tangle into his hair, still damp from the shower, and his trail down your back, resting on your waist above your jeans, pinky fingers cheekily dipping below your waist and every now and again.

It sends shivers up your spine, despite the fire engulfing your whole body, and you gasp into the kiss “please.. I want..” his hand fully slips into your jeans to cup your ass, and a low gutteral sound escapes him.

“What.. do you want?” He asks between kisses.

“I want.. I want to look at you.” You manage to break the kiss, again resting your foreheads together.

A full gasp escapes Xiumin, “You’ve kept your eyes closed this whole time?!” He pulls back from you, keeping his hands around your waist, and laughs.

You blink your eyes open slowly, the image of a god appearing before you. Dark hair touseled, lips pink and slightly swollen, cheeks flushed, and those can’t be your hands balancing delicately on those chiseled pecs, can they?

And his eyes. Stormy, hungry, and.. and looking at you, looking into your eyes, studying you the way your studying them.

“I thought you must have been peaking” Xiumin says, voice low again, “I - I didn’t realize how… obedient you were being, I’m sorry.”

His words make you blush, heat spreading across your cheeks and the tips of your ears, and you drop your gaze down. This doesn’t help with your blush, as now you’re looking at his lower abs, a trail of hair leading down to where your bodies are pressed together, the skin still hidden but heat - god, the heat - of you both building between you.

Xiumin’s hand comes up from your waist to tilt your chin up to look at him. You meet his eyes once again, still stormy but where there was hunger before now there is starvation. He takes a step back from you letting his hands fall.

Seeing you still rooted to the same spot, he smiles - no, smirks - and continues walking backwards, not breaking eye contact. There is no breeze, but his absence makes you shiver and once more goose bumps form, now over your whole exposed chest. He continues to backup until he hits the couch and he sits down slowly.

Xiumin’s eyes finally leave yours to travel down your body and back up, making you feel like someone had slipped an ice cube from your chin down one leg and back up the other side until his gaze locks with yours again. His smirk is gone, his expression now just full of need.

“Off.” Xiumin says, barely lifting a finger to gesture at your jeans. You don’t hesitate again, pulling off not only your jeans but the remainder of your clothes. You are feeling vulnerable but also like anything left on your body was subject to catch fire at any moment.

When you finish and look up again, you find Xiumin leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees, towel unwrapped but still draped across his lap. The starving look in his eyes spreads to the rest of his face while he looks at you.

You want to go to him, want to touch him, want, god, you want him, but you wait, wait for him to tell you, to command you. Standing there, biting your lip, your patience and control again surpassing what you thought you could do.

Then he leans back, and the towel is not hiding anything any longer. You can’t help but swallow hard, saliva suddenly filling your mouth, and clench your fists.

“Oh fuck” Xiumin gasps, eyes dropping from yours to your neck when you swallow, “Come here. Now.”

You almost trip over yourself in your haste, in your want, moving to stand infront of him, between his legs, and you bend over him to kiss him, self control crumbling with every second. As the kiss deepens, he moves to pull you onto his lap, but instead your knees buckle and you slip down to kneel on the floor infront of him.

He is still leaning forward, not willing to break the kiss yet, when your hands trace down his chest to his cock. You both gasp as your hand closes around him; him in an involuntary need for air, you in surprise at how hard he already is.

You pump him a few times, then make the decision to break the kiss, your want to be obedient being beaten out by the want to know how he tastes and the want to see him crumble in your hands.

One hand still pumping, you use the other to push Xiumin’s chest back into the couch. His one hand grips the arm of the couch and his other goes to your hair. Then you lower your head and take his tip into your mouth, keeping eye contact as best you can.

You bob your head, swirling your tongue over his tip in rhythm. Xiumin’s hand grips the couch, his knuckles white, and his eyes are wide, still staring into yours, his lips falling open and his breathing suddenly much heavier.

Your name slips from his mouth, mixed with various swears as you continue, until -

“FUCK-“ his hips buck and you gag, stopping to take a deep breath in. Xiumin’s hand releases the couch arm, leaving little indents where his nails had dug in, and he cups your chin again, leaning forward to kiss you long and hard.

“Your turn” a new command, not a question or offer, and before you can react your places are swapped. Seeing him, rock hard, muscular shoulders tensed, barely in control of himself but kneeling so intently, so desperately and submissively infront of you is almost enough to make you come undone already.

It takes everything in you not to scream when he starts with his tongue. Now it’s your hand on the couch arm, the other tangled in his hair. His name and curses falling from your lips. He uses both his hands to press your hips down into the couch, and you squirm against him, into his touch and away from it at the same time.

“I.. I’m close” you breathe out, and Xiumin’s eyes flick up to meet your gaze. You almost come undone right there, but he pulls away from you, grabbing your hand to have you stand with him.

“Do you trust me?” Xiumin asks, not commanding, not a whisper. Just a sincere question, though in a voice so deep you swear you feel it rather than hear it.

His hand is holding yours still from having you stand, and the other is on your waist, stealing you. His cock, practically quivering between you two, is wet at the tip, a question of its own waiting for your reply. The heat, now shared between you both evenly, flickers across your bodies impatiently.

“Yes.” No more pauses, no more hesitation.

Xiumin pulls you flush against him, guiding your arms up and around his neck. Then he bends and lifts you up, wrapping your legs around his waist, and walks a few feet until your back is against a wall.

You shake from anticipation now, no more goosebumps, and find yourself biting his perfect collar bone while he walks, sucking and nibbling. Your name falls from his mouth, a swear word of its own now.

Now braced against the wall, you look into his eyes as he lowers you down onto him. With every inch, the starvation dissapears but the storm rages harder. You clutch onto his shoulders, and arch your back towards the wall as he takes you, mouth open but unable to make a sound.

Until he moves.

The screams you held back before come out now, involuntarily, taking the shape of “Xiumin” over and over again.

You both hold on and ride the storm together, as he bounces you up and down, up and down, over and over, landing harder each time. You hear the sound of your skin against the wall, broken up by the sound of your skin on Xiumin’s skin and your names - the worst swear words known to man - tumbling out between you.

At some point you both slip down to the floor, but you don’t remember how it happened that you were on top of him now. You slow the pace, rollling your hips instead of bouncing, and watch as Xiumin’s eyes roll back, his eyelids closing.

On a whim, you cover his eyes with your hand. His breath catches in his throat with each roll of your hips. Goose bumps break out on his arms and chest.

You lean forward and whisper in his ear “Keep your eyes closed.”

He can only nod in reply, mouth clenched, a deep groan coming from his chest,

You remove your hand, smirking as you see he followed your order, and pick up the pace to return to your previous rhythm, fast and hard. Xiumin’s hands go to your hips, guiding you, helping you.

1, 2, 3 more times you land before you cum with no warning, with not a scream but a growl of “Xiumin”, clenching around his cock, back arched and eyes closed. You roll your hips, riding it out, eyes open again to see that he was peaking, looking at you in awe.

As soon as your eyes meet, he too comes completely undone, holding you still while he thrusts up. You brace yourself against his shoulders, collapsing down onto his chest as he cums inside you.

With a grunt, he pulls out of you and you roll onto your side on the floor beside him. It’s the first time you notice that the ground is cold, the heat from the two of you slowly, very slowly dispelling.

Xiumin pulls you toward him, pushing a leg between both of yours, hand on your waist and the other arm under your head. Neither of you willing to move yet, or to break the silence.

It isn’t until you shiver again, this time genuinely from the chill, which is creeping into you from the floor, that either of you stir. As you emerge from your drunken bliss, the first thing you realize is that you’re still.. sticky. And the second is that you are going to be very.. very sore in a few hours time.

Well.. another reason to go to the gym more, you think to yourself, sure that your stamina tonight was all adrenaline.

Xiumin gets up and grabs the towel, abandoned near the couch, kneeling down to wrap it around your shoulders. Without saying a word, he kisses you on the forehead, then gets up and turns on the shower.

When you see steam escaping the bathroom, you struggle to your feet and walk in to see Xiumin waiting for you.

“You go first” he says, offering a hand to help you step into the shower. Another command, but not as forceful as before.

You accept his hand and step into the shower, but when he turns to go and give you some privacy, you grip his hand even tighter.

“Stay..” you say, and pull him into the shower with you. His eyes meet yours again, and it’s like he is in a trance, pulled in by some strange gravity that now connects you two.

You help each other wash, gently, somehow shy with each other despite what you just did. You watch a bead of water trace down Xiumin’s neck and chest, thinking again of him on stage, sweat running down his collarbone..

His collarbone, which now has an odd bruise? You brush you finger across it and he winces, then you both look at it together, suddenly realizing what it is.

His eyes widen in surprise, “I didn’t think you had actually left a mark!”

“Oh god I’m so sorry!” You bring your hands up cover your face, mortified, “I had no idea I had done that either!”

But when Xiumin starts laughing, you can’t help it this time but to peak out between your fingers to see his face. He looks completely relaxed, his laugh making him look impossibly even younger than he already looks.

Confused, you lower your hands, “won’t you.. get in trouble?” You ask, “what if someone sees it on stage?”

Seeing that you are genuinely concerned, he suppresses his laughter to reply “Do you think we’ve never had to ask the makeup team to cover anything like this up before?” His eyes sparkle, “Though, it will be my first time asking… but the others have all had to at some point.”

You laugh tentatively, and seeing his smile grow at the sound, laugh again, releasing the little bit of worry you had built up.

“We’re human, after all” Xiumin says, pulling you closer so you are both under the water, resting his head on your shoulder and hugging you close, “we… I need love, connection.”

You wrap your arms around him and squeeze in response.

After a minute or so of holding him close, you go to pull away, ready to step out of the shower, when he freezes and pulls you back to him.

“What’s..” the question dies on your lips as you feel exactly what is wrong, thick and strong, and somehow hard again, between you two.

“Just.. um.. give me a minute” Xiumin mumbles into your shoulder, and you see that the tips of his ears are pink.

I guess even when you quench a fire.. the coals can be reignited pretty easily you think, smiling to yourself as the now familiar, tantalizing warmth grows between you two again.

END

(… unless? PART TWO HERE)

#exo #xiumin #exo fanfic #xiumin fanfic #xiumin smut #xiumin x reader #fanfic

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