#this goes for aphobic shit too

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread

Love Letters For Joy

YA contemporary Cyrano de Bergerac retelling

an ace girl with cerebral palsy who’s determined to be valedictorian, with only her academic rival to beat

when her friends start pairing up, she starts to wonder if she wants something like that, and emails the anonymous romance advice email going around her school

[clegfly]

Woo, it’s about time I made one of these… *cracks knuckles*

MORE ABOUT ME!!!!

HIIII!!!! My name is clegfly, or just cleg!!!! I’m an artist/ writer / professional paint drying critic/j. I’m just a silly girl doing silly things, don’t mind me. I use she/her pronouns and I am aroace!!!

LIKES

BULLET POINTS BULLET POINTS BULLET POI

Pancakes. All day. All the time. Everywhere, anywhere. Pancakes

That goes for bacon too

JELLYYYYYYYYYY!!!!1!1!1!

Why are these all foods what else do I like uhhhh

Warm. And cosy bed. And fire. And all that stuff

OLD COMPUTER AESTHETIC!!!!!! N64!!! WINDOWS XP!!!! ALL THAT SHIT

Bugs in theory

PLANTS

MUSICAL THEATRE

Graphic novels

Video games… ough my beloveds

Books

Okay now this is too long

Oops

Sorry

JELLYFISH JELLYFISH JELLYFISH

The ocean full stop actually

In theory

CHINCHILLAS

Uh

Yapping

Analysis

DISLIKES

anything on my DNI >:((((

Bugs in practice

Sport

Exercise

I’m literally hero omori

Commitment

Stress

Internet drama

Anyone who gatekeeps like. Anything.

INTERESTS???

All day every day, baby.

MAINS

OMORI- main interest as apparent by one peek at my blog… The brainrot is immeasurable and everlasting. Send help. It’s been almost four years. I love this game, its characters, story, EVERYTHING so fucking much. I’m like a billion pounds in debt to it also. I will be homeless but at least I will have my big ass heromari collection.

PMMM/ Madoka Magica- my favourite show! Consisting purely of sparkles and sunshine!!!! Why are you crying??? I’m sure not!!!!

DDLC/ Doki Doki Literature Club- another favourite of mine!!! I see a well-written cast of characters I deeply relate to go through extreme horrific horror beyond any of their comprehensions and I’m SOLD!!!

Coraline- the horrors are all consuming, but at least it’s both a visual and extremely well-written treat!!!!

TADC/ the amazing digital circus- won’t lie, watched this show when the pilot dropped and LOVED it, but forgot about it after a while as it didn’t stick with me. Then episode three came out and I’m now reduced to a blubbering mess whose brain is now significantly comprised of two fictional chess pieces. What happened? I don’t know. Send even more help.

LITTLE GUYS THAT HURT MY BRAIN SOMETIMES

Petscop

Fnaf

BATIM/ bendy and the ink machine

BSD

Deltarune

Undertale

Hawaii: Part II

SUBJECT TO CHANGE BECAUSE IM PROBABLY FORGETTING LIKE 20 AND ALSO HAVE LIKE 20 STILL TO DISCOVER

HOBBIES?!2!2!

Ya!!!! :D

Art

The main thing I do on my silly little page!!

…in which the art is mostly unfinished doodles… but that’s okay!!!! We ball anyway

YOU CAN SEND THE CLEG REQUESTS!!!!! ALL DAY ANY DAY UNLESS I SAY OTHERWISE!!!! Do not expect premium quality though lmao. (And also nothing related to DNI. Shouldn’t have to say this but. Uh. Yeah)

You cannot yet commission the cleg :(

Writing

Currently on a writing hiatus and have been for a little while (5 MONRHS WHAT) but… i do!!!! That!!!! Aka I write fan fiction AGH

Mostly. Heromari stuff. Actually all heromari stuff. I think I have one fic that isn’t heromari and it’s one I co-authored I love them your honour…

Yeah

DNI

Bit of a bummer, but I gotta set my boundaries to keep the weirdos out!! That being said, do NOT interact with my blog whatsoever if you:

Are a shotacon, lolicon, proshipper, pedo, etc etc etc. (yucky. Yuck yuck yuck. Fuck off)

Are homophobic

Are transphobic

Are aphobic/ arophobic (why. Why are you even still here)

Queerphobic in general actually get OUT!!!!

Actively shit on any of my main interests. Like ACTIVELY go out of your way to tell me how bad it is (what. What is the point. Just go)

POST ANY NSFW FULL STOP!!!!!!! (I am EXTREMELY sex repulsed and have been especially lately, I will block you on SIGHT)

Are racists/ xenophobes

There is likely LOTS more I’m forgetting so I will update this later… also just saying I reserve the right to block ANYONE no matter if you fit into this criteria or not. If I don’t vibe with you I will politely block you and look the other way!!! No theatrics required

Anyway with all the negative stuff out of the way… I really hope you enjoy my blog!!! I’m just here to have fun honestly and express my ideas and passions and work on a little page of the internet so!!!! Hope you have fun too!!!! :D

[pixelkip]

Before June is over I just wanna mention some kinda shit things I've faced specifically bc I'm arospec ace (and sex repulsed) and that I don't think I've seen many other people talk about

- having any opinion at all about a sensitive topic that's sexual in nature and being told "oh well of course this bothers you so much, you're ace/sex repulsed"

(And yes I've had this done to me even by people who meant well, the treatment of asexual people like they can never handle sexual topics goes beyond obvious "but you're so innocent uwu" type shit)

- people misconstruing being ace/aro as "well you're just too focused on important things to care about that kind of thing" that's not how this works, that's now how any of this works.

- this could also be an anxiety/not getting social stuff very well thing, but the constant worry that showing any kind of affection could come off as flirting or creepy, and generally not understanding what people consider inherently sexual or romantic

- being called too sensitive or being told "well I'm sure they didn't mean it that way!" when calling something out as feeling aphobic, intentional or not. (also have had even people who mean well do this) even if something isn't meant that way I can still acknowledge that it's hurtful

- sexual shit being like half the crux of a lot of people's sense of humor. Even as someone who believes that sex might be even funnier from an ace perspective sometimes, ffs when it's such a large portion of what people find funny it gets really annoying. Not even just like high-school level humor (that I am self admitted to have LMAO) but even well thought out jokes about people's sex lives or romantic issues are so fucking dull to me a lot of the time.

- this one is gonna sound silly to a lot of people, but liking any media where sex and romance are just about never present, but nearly everything fandom wants to do with it is sexual and romantic in nature, can't have a character analysis without talking about all the implications of why this character should be shipped with this one, etc. Yea a real head scratcher what i of all people could possibly be referring to here shuttup

- might just be me but like. People not understanding that sex repulsion doesn't just mean "ewww never talk about sex around me!!!!!" But can still mean "I get uncomfortable around sexual topics even when its not specifically about me"

I just thought I'd share bc it feels really isolating sometimes, and I figured if anyone else deals with this then you're definitely not the only one

[kygerbearr]

I used to be in the vinesauce community more than anything else, like I was there for a solid 5+ years but that community has so many fucking creeps and weirdos that I had to just dip. too much fucked up shit in there. one person was this middle aged guy who kept sending me mlp porn because I was asexual and he wanted to talk to me about sex (he knew I was asexual. I do not understand why he chose me to talk about that to this day) so eventually I just fuckin blocked a handful of people, changed screen names and just dipped. no idea what goes on there today but I hope they're doing ok. and also sorted out their creep shit

though honestly a bunch of the people there being boomers was kinda rough cuz in like 2016-2017 a mod there who was part of the streaming group was openly aphobic towards me and straight up told me no I wasn't asexual. like ok bitch damn!! hope you changed and grew as a person

[cheezewhis]

I always feel disappointed when people who have never watched House say stuff like "I'd watch it except for the aphobic episode" or "I won't watch the show because of the phobic episode" because honestly if you think that's the only offensive or harmful thing about the show, you're in for a world of hurt.

It just feels kind of dismissive of all the other bad shit that happens? Like, there are consistent racist and sexist tropes, jokes, etc and they do decrease as the show goes on and it gets less early 2000s, but still when there's so much offensive content in the show its kind of upsetting when someone will act like it's only the one episode that's a problem.

I'm also saying this as someone who has seen the whole show. It's a difficult exercise in taking the good with the bad and learning how to wrestle with those complicated feelings of caring about bad people. So it's also irritating to hear the show as a whole dismissed because of one episode. I get why someone wouldn't watch cause the show is A LOT and no one has to sit through something offensive, but this just makes it more irritating when people act like it's the one episode that's a problem.

(Plus in the aphobic episode House doesn't actually cure asexuality he just cures a hormone deficiency that lowers sex drive and it sort of ends on the note that this is one case but House will be stuck in his shit world view because that's how he is, not that it isn't still a harmful episode, thats just my two cents and im not asexual so no one has to give a fuck what i think).

I should make it clear: it's ok if you don't want to watch because of one episode. I just hate when people talk as if that's the ONLY thing harmful about the show. Quite frankly, there's so much worse. I love the show but holy shit.

Idk this got way too incoherent.

[theplagueunderyoursink]

Alright, people have been doing introduction posts and that's cool because you can tell so much from that.

Anyways

Here is what i want people to know about me

My pronouns are he/they (AMAB)

I am currently 17 (shit, i have to update this eventually)

I identify as a boyflux, which means that my gender goes from male to anything that isn't female depending on how many fucks I give when you are asking me (side note: I don't label myself as trans because I think that's a whole different journey than what I have going on. Being amab and identifying as mostly male-ish genders I don't see myself as "transitioning" Or "transforming" Or "passing from one thing to the other". If gender is a binary, I am doing skateboard tricks on the one I was assigned and sometimes I fall off. However, I think that if you are like me, but identify as trans, there is no problem, this is just my preference.)

I am gay, somewhere in the ace spec maybe, i don't really care too much

I am single, not looking for a relationship (at least not on tumblr)

I am an artist...? I don't know what your definition of artist is but I put effort in my drawings (which I almost never post because they are mostly sketches) I draw nsfw but I won't post it. I don't do commissions... Yet. Maybe free ones this summer. Maybe. (Shit I have to update this too eventually)

I am Italian, living in Italy

I am struggling at school

I most likely have undiagnosed adhd but we will never know probably, and if I don't have it, I probably have something else (hope to actually eventually have to update this one)

I try to stay positive at least when I post (don't look at my first posts please they are embarrassing but I still wanna keep them)

I am desperate for attention

I like pokemon, cult of the lamb, hazbin hotel, helluva boss, the legend of zelda, plushies, Brandon Rogers (as in the YouTube channel, not lusting for the actor), cats, and love in all its forms.

I will probably update this if I get any other ideas of what I should say.

I am atheist

Oh and you can call me Gab. Or Plague now I guess. That's cringy tho. I am okay with it tho.

(Proshippers, homophobes, transphobes, aphobes, racists, ableists DNI)

[luesmainblog]

to be completely honest it also tends to carry a lack of understanding of how asexuality works, too. this doesn't usually apply to ace headcanons by actual ace people, but i've noticed a tendancy in non-ace people to basically always assume Full, Repulsed asexuality. they don't feel nothin and they never want to do anything; the Acest of the ace. to the point where if you put an ace character in an allo-coded situation, even if you're objectively writing it in a pretty nuanced and ace way, you get accused of bigotry. of not Getting that they're ace. (to be clear, absolutely nothing wrong with Ace, Repulsed headcanons!! i have a few myself! but when it's your ONLY ace hcs.... it's a bit like seeing every gay character as feminine, if you get me.) but as someone who is fully lacking in attraction and repulsed to real people... that's rarely ever how my own headcanons go. so many characters have behavior or lines that strike me as grey, or demi, or "totally ace but sex favorable". and watching people try to understand the very concept of an asexual slut is... telling.

and i think some of it goes straight back to that. "having any sexual desire for someone who doesn't 100% reciprocate is predatory" seems to apply even to people who don't reciprocate the attraction, but still want to do it because it just sounds fun. or god forbid, they're neutral on the matter and happy to have it as a way to spend time with someone. these very real ace experiences are often dismissed as "not really consent", as though we can't make those decisions for ourselves. Sex is Special, and it requires Special Feelings, and if you don't have those Special Feelings then you can't have it ever and any time you HAVE you were just manipulated into it. it's, uh.... Sad. to say the least. i think all of these trends tie back into some honestly very weird ideas about sex and sexuality in general which, while not automatically aphobic, do result in aphobic shit like the above.

It’s incredibly telling how the characters that are more wildly headcanoned to be ace, by allos as well as aces, are almost always the non conventionally attractive ones

Like yeah we’ll let this one be ace because we don’t want to bang them anyway.

This hot one though? With the gorgeous eyes and flowing hair? Couldn’t possibly be ace. No way in hell. Because then we’d feel guilty about wanting to bang them.

And yes, of course people can headcanon whatever they want, but after a certain point the “asexuality when convenient for them” of it all feels offensive.

And then when we headcanon a character as ace who is considered hot, people are so quick to jump in with the “ummm actually…”s because they don’t like it when you bring up the possibility of someone they’re attracted to being ace. It’s a headcanon. People have their own opinions. Shhhh.

Hot people can be asexual. People are not just asexual at your convenience. People are not just asexual because nobody wants them. Someone else finish this thought

[jessmalia]

Pevensie siblings sexuality headcanons

I know I’ve shared my headcanons about the Pevensies sexualities many times before, but I thought I’d actually write them down and go through why I headcanon them as I do, plus how I imagine their relationship with their sexuality is like. I’d also love to hear what you have to say about this! So don’t be shy to reply, wether you agree with me or not. All interpretations are valid. 

Also disclaimer, this isn’t very professionally written lol. It’s just the ramblings of a person who thinks way too much about fictional characters. 

Peter Pevensie – Pansexual

A lot of people say that Peter is really straight, which... like I get the line of thinking behind that but, no. Y’all should already know how much I ship him with Caspian. Just because he’s a classic, perfect hero, knight in shining armour type doesn’t mean he’s straight. I don’t even think he’s “the pinnacle of masculinity” like some people say he is. Sure, he inhabits a lot of traditionally masculine traits like strong will, leadership, protectiveness and so on but I think his soft feminine side gets overlooked. Like, he’s pretty in touch with his emotions and he doesn’t show any shame, forced stoic-ness or any other signs of toxic masculinity (unlike Edmund lol).

Therefor, I also don’t think he would have any problem accepting his sexuality. Ignoring the standards of 1940s England for a second, I think he’s just always known he feels attraction regardless of gender and has never felt any shame over it.

Susan Pevensie – Grayromantic

This one’s definitely the most underdog one, cause I haven’t seen anyone with the same headcanon, so I really wanna explain my line of thinking.

For those of you who don’t know, grayromantic is when you’re on the aromantic spectrum but not fully aro. So a grayromantic person may experience romantic attraction but more rarely (how much depending on the person) or only very specific traits/people do it for them. Graysexual is the same but with sexual attraction.

Firstly, I wrote grayromantic as a title just because I had to choose one pride flag for the picture, but I also think she’s graysexual, and when she does experience attraction I think it can be to any gender.

Susan being grayromantic really is just the vibe I got from her in the Prince Caspian movie. The scene with that boy in the beginning doesn’t just feel like she’s not interested, but has a distinct “you’re barking up the wrong tree, bro” vibe to it, which I think is a reason so many people headcanon her as a lesbian, which totally works too, but I see it more in an asexual/aromantic way.  

And then later with her romance with Caspian, I very much got the impression that she’s very surprised that she likes him so much. Like she did not expect to feel so attracted to him because she’s never been to anyone before. It’s strange and foreign too her but she welcomes it. It’s the same vibe I think a lot of people who interpret the Susan/Caspian romance as recognition the other is queer mistaken for attraction and/or queer platonic pick up on, because it really feels like you’re watching two lesbians fall in love for the first time lol. I think that is a perfectly valid interpretation, but I fully believe that Susan didn’t think she was capable of feeling romantic and sexual attraction, then when she liked Caspian she was confused at first because it was so new, but then when she realised what it was she welcomed it like “oh, I guess I do experience attraction sometimes”. And in a modern au I definitely see her liking the aspec label.

Edmund Pevensie – Bisexual

This one’s not that complicated. Edmund is my favourite, and I relate and project onto him a lot have talked about it before and I could go even more in depth about it forever but I don’t think anyone wants to hear that. Basically, I’m bisexual, therefor he is bisexual.

Plus, a lot of people also have this headcanon, so there’s definitely something more there than projection I think. I mean, we ARE very similar and since I’m bi, why wouldn’t he have the same vibes?

Edmund’s really the only one I think would have a problem accepting his sexuality at first again ignoring the standards of 1940s England. Like I hinted at in the Peter section, I think Edmund very much struggles with toxic masculinity when he’s young, specifically the LWW period. I think even back then he knew this about himself but wasn’t ready to accept it. I imagine that in Narnian culture they value softness and vulnerability way more, so they wouldn’t have the same dumb norms about masculinity, plus they definitely embrace same sex relationships. That coupled with how much he changed during the events of LWW I think made him totally ready to accept it. And of course his siblings would show nothing but love and support since they’re all queer too lol. 

Lucy Pevensie – Lesbian

I don’t even know how to describe it — she’s a lesbian what more do you want? It’s so obvious! Just look at the outfit she’s wearing in this picture! That’s a lesbian if I’ve ever seen one. It’s literally just the vibes, man. Picturing her with a guy feels so weird to me.

It’s also literally canon: “But as for Lucy, she was always gay and golden-haired” I know he meant gay as in happy but come on. 

As for her relationship with her sexuality, nothing describes it better than that she just loves being gay! She loves it! Wouldn’t trade it for the world! Modern AU Lucy definitely calls herself femme, and she makes gay jokes all the time. She’s definitely the sibling that talks about their sexuality most often. 

[peevesiehasasideblog]

If ''''demisexual is the norm'''' then explain why the world is so amatonormative and why that makes me want to throw hands. Explain why every sign of affection is immediately assumed to be romantic or sexual because friendship isn't a thing, right? Explain the hype around romance and sex. Explain why my peers started dating at 13 and expected me to date too. Explain why I didn't even realise getting crushes is a real thing until much later. Explain why I simply don't get the appeal of wanting to date someone based on physical attraction. Explain why I just stare blankly when my friends talk about celebrity crushes. Explain why we identify with aces so much, and why so many of us think they are asexual before identifying as demisexual. Explain why I was over the moon with relief when I first heard the word demisexual and realised there's a word to describe how I feel. Explain why it hurts when you pricks try to tell me my sexuality is not real and I'm looking for attention just because you don't understand it. Explain these.

[flippingpancake]

being ace on the internet dot com gave me more internalized acephobia than being ace irl what the hell is wrong with some of you

[manicpixiedreamgirlinstem]

Exclusionists are the type of people who see anything new or unfamiliar to them and immediately respond with hostility because their brains are too small to comprehend the fact that not understanding something doesn’t mean that thing is fake or dumb. Anyways people can use any label they want to describe their own identity and exclusionists can choke on my queer dick<3

[movetothesuburbs]

This is my side blog and I generally wanna keep it strictly Sunny and I don't have a BYF or anything like that but I think it's really funny that someone with transmed in their url is following me, a non-dysphoric trans person

[angryaromantics]

It's weird to me, on a personal level when people say that the aspec community is harmful because it'll cause people to mislabel themselves due to internalized homophobia.

But.....it goes the other way too? I thought I was straight, then bi, then just a lesbian, grasping at straws trying to figure out what was wrong with me because I'd never heard the term aromantic before. If anything, not having access to the term aromantic stunted my ability to accept myself as a lesbian. Instead, I just assumed there was something deeply, deeply wrong with me.

There's tons of aspec people I know who also struggled with misidentifying themselves like this. Yeah, it can suck sometimes. It can be painful sometimes. But it wasn't bi people's fault I mislabeled myself as one of them. It's not aromantic or asexual people's fault if others misidentitfy themselves using our terms. And it's getting more and more transparent that you're not actually all that concerned about young lgbt people, you're just aphobic.

Identity is messy, shit happens, we get it wrong. There's nothing wrong with that. Just move along.

[eroticcannibal]

Ok but let's talk about how deeply offensive and oppressive it is to take a stand against pride icons in any context.

Their purpose is simply to declare the users identity. Thats it.

Now I think some of you are maybe a bit too young to remember, but we haven't always been able to do that. There was a time that doing something like simply having a pride flag in your icon could be very, very dangerous. God forbid you get doxxed and face real life consequences.

There are people reading your crap that have in their lifetime gone from hiding their identity out of fear for their lives to using fucking pride edit icons. Do you not realise what a big deal that is?

Its normal now. Do you understand that? Its NORMAL. To have a pride flag in your icon. Where anyone can see it. Not even on secret forums but on TUMBLR. on TWITTER. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS MEANS?

And then you have the nerve to demand people bury their identities if they want to appreciate a fictional fucking character? You want to demand people give up what people have fought so hard for, even died for, over a fictional fucking character? Open pride and open declarations of our identities is something so many did not dare dream they would live to see. Fuck every homophobe, every biphobe, every lesbophobe and aphobe and transphobe and queerphobe trying to push us back into the closet over a man who is not fucking real. Do not cede any ground to this shit, even if its not your identity and not your fandom. You all know how this shit goes.

[randomcartoonbro]

Pinned Post, I Guess lol

Never thought I'd make one of these, but it's become more and more necessary. But anyways. Hey, my name is Isaac. I'm 24, demiboy, he/they pronouns, Aquarius, blah blah blah. Stuff you likely already know if you've been around long enough or have read my actual bio. I'm also the host of a system, but we're not super public about all of that outside of Discord and that won't much come up here.

My Sideblogs:

@isaacsrefblog : my old art blog repurposed into a place to save reference pictures, tutorials, and stuff for when I do draw

@premadesareus : my barely active Simblr

@littlequartzrecipes : my blog where I reblog any recipes I find. I started organizing it at one point, but I didn't get very far. Might come back to that one day

@villainousartco : my art blog. I never really post anymore since I don't have much time for art these days, but I might post again one day

@emojifarm : my emoji sideblog where I basically curate a museum of emojis to be used on discord. My most organized blog

DNI:

If you ship incest ships (including stuff like Thorki, Sylki, and Luther x Allison)

• I confess to slight hypocrisy here in that I do follow and reblog from like 2 Loki blogs that post about those ships, but I have those tags blocked and just ignore it and reblog the stuff not involving that. Just what you gotta do for good content around here sometimes, unfortunately

If you ship pedo shit and/or are/support MAPs. Fiction does effect reality.

If you're aphobic, panphobic, transphobic/a terf, or otherwise exclusive to any members of the LGBTQ+ community

If you're anti-endo or into syscourse. All systems are systems. Origin doesn't matter and is none of your damn business. It's inappropriate to walk up to someone and be like "you got trauma or nah?". Unless they're hurting someone or appropriating a culture that doesn't belong to them (tulpas), mind your damn business and be respectful. The gatekeeping in this community is such bullshit. Grow up. That goes for endos being bitches to traumagenic systems too. No one is innocent here and it's annoying and exhausting. Beyond this mini rant, I will not be speaking on syscourse any further. Both sides are being stupid and all systems are valid. Period.

The other usual stuff. As long as you're not gross or an asshole, you're chill here. This website is about having fun and talking about dumb shows and movies and junk. Let's keep it peaceful and civil and not full of pedophilia, zoophilia, or other rude or nasty shit, alright?

If any of you ever notice me reblogging from anyone nasty or bad, please feel free to send me an ask or DM to let me know so I can delete the reblog and block them. I genuinely do just want this to be a place for everyone to have fun and enjoy themselves despite some of my ranting and bitchiness on this post. This will be edited as needed or if I realized I missed something. Thank you for reading and happy blogging

[magnus-the-maqnificent]

Sorry I have a question, I see some people saying queer is a slur and straight people aren't allowed to use it, my question is, what should we use instead of queer then? I don't really know other words that I can use instead but I don't wanna upset anyone

Don’t be sorry for asking questions <3

Queer is a slur only if you’re using it to insult and demean someone. Same goes for ‘gay’, ‘lesbian’, and a shit ton of other lgtbq related words. As long as it comes from a place of respect, you can and should use queer.

There are people who say ‘queer is a slur’ and discourage literally everyone from using it, but there’s a very good chance such people are exclusionists of some sort. Queer is vague and is an umbrella term for all identities, which means people who are questioning or are unsure of what labels to use can use queer to define themselves. And it’s very inclusive, so exclusionists, who are all highly biphobic, transphobic and aphobic don’t like it being used. Idk how to explain exclusionists lol they basically treat queer spaces like they’re some sort of secret club into which only gay and lesbian people can enter and everyone else who tries to get in is just a straight person seeking attention. Which is stupid. And terfs don’t like queer too, because again it’s inclusive and they don’t like trans and genderqueer people being involved in anything. Idk if I’m even making any sense at this point, but basically - if you see anyone saying that queer is a slur and shouldn’t be used, chances are they’re a lost misguided soul or they’re highly malicious, so I would avoid them.

Anyway, yeah, you can use queer, or if you want another umbrella term, you can just use ‘gay’ or any variation of the lgbtq+ acronym.