angryaromantics

[angryaromantics]

God put me on this earth to not date anybody

[angryaromantics]

Whoa, this film opens up with the main character saying she rejects the idea that you need to fall in love/get married to have happiness and she isn’t interested in finding a partner, surely THIS time she won’t fall in love by the end of the movie

[angryaromantics]

(x)

[angryaromantics]

my love for you was like an open wound

yucky and gross 😖

- i've been practicing my poetry if you think i should blaze this one let me know

[angryaromantics]

AROMANTICISM ISN'T ASEXUALITY BEING ACE DOES'T MAKE YOU ARO AND VICE VERSA STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP ENFORCING THE SOCIETAL IDEA THAT SEX AND ROMANCE ARE FUNDAMENTALLY INEXTRICABLE

[angryaromantics]

even beyond the fact that you also shouldn't be cruel to poly people, like, it's just really very hard to ignore that every single joke about "[regional] polycule" or poly roommates or whatever else seems to lead back to some very nasty statements about fat people, disabled people, and/or trans women at its core. which isn't surprising at all if you understand these to be affirmations of the norm per monogamy but you see them soooo often from people who purport to have the politics of those who fucking know better

[angryaromantics]

[angryaromantics]

it is genuinely so wild how often people will see you say ‘[insert form of intimacy here] is not inherently romantic/not platonic and people can do those things with their friends and should be allowed to’ and then freak all the way out like you’re trying to actively force them to fuck or kiss all their friends. like maybe sit with your instinct to take ‘this action can be platonic and shouldn’t be arbitrarily restricted to romantic relationships, and if you see people or hear about people doing this don’t make assumptions or try to forcibly label their relationship as romantic’ as an attempt to force you to do things you don’t want to do. if those things are only romantic to you that is a personal boundary the big mean aromantics are not trying to take away from you i promise. that is in fact directly in line with normative expectations of amatonormative society that is not at all threatened lol.

[angryaromantics]

also i'm just gonna gently put out there that while we're in a big moment now of - by necessity and very rightfully! - championing and defending sex and sexual content against very real persecution and censorship, i really want people to make sure that while we're doing that we're not tipping right back into the ace discourse days of 'if you don't like sex or refuse to perform participation in sex to a degree i expect, you're a sex negative homophobic censoring puritan'

someone does not have to like, enjoy, want to participate in, create art about, hear about, witness, etc any kind of sex or porn. full stop. that includes how aces write the best smut or hand out water bottles at the orgy or whatever else. no one, asexual or otherwise, has to participate or enjoy or be interested in sex or porn.

please fight for, defend, champion, and uplift sex and sexual content. please. i will continue to do so as well. but at the same time, do not start demanding certain levels of participation in or enjoyment of this content from people. someone being sex repulsed or disinterested or not wanting to hear about sex or write or see smut is not indicative of them being part of the problem, or a red flag, or a conservative puritan. the right to say no is just as important as it ever was, including to sex in a fictional or in an artistically depicted context.

[angryaromantics]

People need to start headcanoning characters as aromantic more often I'm so serious

[angryaromantics]

im not going to answer messages lecturing me about why refusing to be bound by frameworks of 'platonic attraction' is somehow hateful or exclusionary or bigoted or whatever. im just not gonna do it. if that upsets you, this is not the blog for you. i do not find 'platonic attraction' or the idea of 'platonic orientation' to be useful or appropriate and nothing anyone says to me will change that, and it is inappropriate and deflecting to demand that people in aro and ace spaces automatically include that in their understanding of what being aspec means.

[angryaromantics]

some of you need to realize that platonic relationships can be just as intense, complicated, and even toxic as romantic relationships and a relationship being romantic doesnt always make it mean more

[angryaromantics]

I love villains that are the reverse of the idea that the absence of love makes you evil. Villains that love to the point of paranoia and obsession. Villains whose love for someone corrupts them. Love being used for awful, evil things. Using love to justify horrific actions. Anything that breaks down the toxic idea that people who don’t feel love are monsters and those who feel love are always pure and heroic and morally right.

[angryaromantics]

"am i still aromantic if-" learn how to be secure in your own identity without constantly seeking validation from strangers online every step of the way. There is no rulebook being written by some sort of aromantic elite, opinions vary from person to person. The only clear cut definition of aromanticism that we have which the majority of us agree upon is "little to no romantic attraction to others" and there's way too much variation under that to list every single "valid" way to be aromantic.

[angryaromantics]

“Why are you scared of dating” I’m not scared of dating, I just haven’t found anyone’s company to be more enjoyable than my own. And also I don’t care

[angryaromantics]

I feel like I have a fundamental disagreement with how a lot of people view being inclusive.

To a lot of people, inclusive means using language that includes everyone, all the time. I'm thinking about the breadth of the aro community here, and how some positivity posts about certain parts of the spectrum could actually feel alienating to other people.

Loveless aros aren't going to have the same needs as queerplatonic partnering people, or aplatonic people, or lovecore people, etc etc.

It's near impossible to be consistently including the entirety of the aro community when discussing aromantic issues, and if that's the basis by which you're judging inclusiveness, you're going to be spending more time policing language than you are finding your place in the community.

To me, inclusiveness should be about more of us feeling comfortable sharing our experiences--finding the overlap and the differences and celebrating them both. We're never going to get very far if we spend all our time feeling excluded and never move past it to put our own voices out there.

[angryaromantics]

So are you all 22-ish now?

I get a new aro follower, I click on their profile, and there it is, NINETEEN!!!!