#this card is obviously not a problem
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i’m never getting over how shovel knight decided to make a love story about a socially anxious mad scientist plague doctor bird guy trying to impress a hot goth girl by crafting a potion of unlimited power and then it ended up being the greatest romance ever conceived.
please play these games.
#shovel knight#shovel knight plague of shadows#plague of shadows#plague knight#shovel knight mona#they are and will always be everything to me#ough…i’m falling in love with these games all over again#also shoutout to donovan and luan#those two are my favorite example of queer stabbing (GONE WRONG)#they put the romance in necromancy <3#and how can i neglect to mention the iconic ship of king knight x himself#the guy literally saw someone hitting on his mom and then decided to ruin everyone’s lives because of it#king of cards is so funny to me#like you spent the entire series up until that point thinking the evil demon sorceress is the cause of everyone’s problems#and then it turns out it was literally just this one dick#he’s basically this series’ version of louie from pikmin and i don’t know whether to respect or condemn him for it#oh yeah and obviously shovel and shield the ogs#it’s genuinely amazing that despite them having so little screen time together they manage to fully convince you they love each other sm#anyways once again go play it we have a whale who is also an apple who is also a god
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Hi hello I watched all of carmilla in a weekend when I was 17 because a student teacher who in retrospect I had a bit of a crush on mentioned that she knew one of the actresses. also I am pretty invested in all your recent vampire stuff because I watched iwtv in 2 days last week because your edit intrigued me
oh hiiii 🫶 thank you for indulging me. thats so cool that you watched iwtv! did it live up to the expectation?
i also watched carmilla at 17! or like, 17-19. i found it when s2 had just started and followed it to the end. did something permanent to my brain but i think it was a good thing. on rewatch now im like, i was right to like this. like it's a solid show, it's good. it has its flaws obviously but it's well written, the emotional moments still get me, i can see why i liked it and i still like it now even when it's not anymore, you know, meeting every need that baby gay me didnt even know they had
what it doesnt reaallyy do though - i dont remember if i posted abt this or if i left it in my drafts but - is explore vampirism as a concept. their subject matter is more lesbianism than vampirism. which is great! thats what they wanted to do and they did it and it's very good. but reading interview with the vampire the book rn im realising how much potential vampires have to be metaphors for like so many things and i started wondering like 'wait, did carmilla just not really engage with it or did it all go over my head'. but it just didnt really engage with it all that much. which again is fine bc that wasnt what they were doing. im glad they were more about the lesbianism than the vampirism
but there's this interesting difference in framing, because in iwtv they keep calling armand 'ancient' right? and emphasising how old he is. and he's like 500? and i was like 'wait isnt carmilla like 400?'. she isnt, shes 340, but still, thats getting there, you know? and we know quite a lot about her history, but kind of just the Big Events. when she was turned, the events of the novella, coffin of blood, silas. thats sort of what we know. but none of the long lonely slog of history day to day you know? with armand i feel like we can really feel how much time everything takes. how every one of those years is made up of single days. with carmilla i dont feel that as much. i keep kind of thinking about daniel, when louis calls him a boy in the first episode, saying "im an old man, with all the triggers that come with it"
because carmilla might look 18 (or mid twenties at this point) but she has lived all that time. shes also seen her native land be claimed by like a succession of ruling powers, right? like armand. shes been buried alive, like louis. when lestat is born, shes already 80 years old, shes lived a whole human lifetime, and the entire adult part of it shes been a vampire. shes lived through 1680-1870 being a lure. i compared her to abigail hobbs in some tags on a post, i dont know if youre familiar with hannibal the tv show, but i do also kinda keep thinking about that comparison
if youre not familiar, in the first episode of hannibal the murderer of the week is this guy garrett jacob hobbs who kills and cannibalises girls who resemble his daughter. and later on it turns out she was made to be his lure. like they'd go places and he'd sent her to the victims to make friends and maybe get them back to their home or smth. not sure if they specified all the details. but that's what carmilla did for mother. and in s2 we hear from mattie that while every couple of decades carmilla had to lure victims for the fish god, she also seemed to just enjoy humans between those times, right? like the doctor, gets lonely, gets a new companion. but we've only sort of got mattie's mocking word for it ("dont eat him, hes a poet! or her, shes got such a wonderful voice. or that one, shes just too pretty to ruin"), we don't know exactly from carmilla's point of view what she was doing or why. if mattie's talking about stuff that happened after the blood coffin, 1950-now, then i think it's a fair assumption based on what carmilla says in the s1 sock puppet show that after she'd figured out what the real situation was and what her role in it was, when she'd started trying to save girls from being sacrificed, that she mightve been doing the same trying to save people from becoming mattie's victims. it's probably more likely that she was just trying to find excuses to stop mattie from sucking someone dry rather than actually having like an aesthetic based morality. but it might be a bit of both. im still trying to figure out what her philosophy actually is, like i dont know what existentialism actually means ghkfjghkj but i will
i also found it pretty striking in the movie when shes turning back into a vampire she says like "this was supposed to be done, you know? the blood lust, the self-loathing, the sleeping tied to a chair in my own bedroom". thats what defines her vampirism, wanting blood and hating yourself for it (the third part is a joke/reference to s1 but also i think meaningful for how she sees her relationship with laura when she IS a vampire. little bit of that 'she will reject me for my monstrousness' shining through). and thats what defines vampirism for lots of vampires across the genre obviously, but i dont know, it struck me. we dont get a lot from carmilla's pov, we know a fair amount about her, but the story is always told through laura. we get laura's diaries, but just snippets here and there from carmilla, what shes thinking, how shes feeling
and i love that shes a philosopher. i love that thats how she seems to try and find something to hold onto, in a world that kind of moves around her, having been murdered, kidnapped, turned and groomed to be a lure on the cusp of adulthood, never having been properly loved (the relationship with her father wasnt good she says in s3, and her mortal mother i dont think has ever been mentioned (like laura's)). the only good relationship she seems to have had for the better part of 3 centuries seems to have been mattie, and mattie seems to love being a vampire. i can imagine carmilla just sort of going along with anything mattie wants to do just because shes so desperate for that friendship. not like, against her will necessarily really. but more like, she hasnt even had the space to develop her own will, you know? and philosophy lets you do that. philosophy gives you frameworks to understand the world and to develop your own opinions on it. and by the 21st century she seems to have developed those opinions, she has a sense of her own values, but shes also still stuck in that same situation. shes jaded and cynical in the face of laura's optimism and strong moral code a lot of the time in s1 because she feels probably pretty powerless. like she does what she can to save some girls but at the end of the day shes scared of her mother and she has nowhere else to go really, right?
i like how she grapples with that over the course of the series, in tandem with laura grappling with her black and white morality. she sort of jumps ship from her mother to laura bc theyve fallen in love, but then laura still stuck in her hero thinking refuses to see her monstrous side. not literally bc i think the biological vampirism never seemed to be a problem for laura, but morally. the having murdered. carmilla needs laura to see that and love her while seeing it bc the last girl she loved rejected her for being a vampire.
but you see her kind of swing back and forth in s2. she softens first with laura but then they break up and she leans back hard into the sarcastic cynic defense mechanisms, leans hard into "im a monster, dont expect heroism from me". but thats like, it's sort of learned helplessness i think. it's powerlessness, resignation. bc morally shes not a monster. maybe she doesnt have as strong a drive to help other people as laura does and is a little more selfishly hedonistic in that she just wants to enjoy her/their life, but she doesnt hurt people for fun, she never has. she just sort of didnt have another option for a Really long time. so she pretends she doesnt care. "im a vampire, this is what i do, this is who i am". but clearly from the way she talks about it when she turns back into one, she doesnt enjoy it
and i like how she goes even further in s3, where she starts swinging even more to the heroic side, bc she sees hope. shes like "wow if we kill my mother, i'd be free". theres hope and she becomes like a lot more active. and shes like that at the start of the movie too, a lot happier, a lot more relaxed, and then vampirism is back and bam depression gfhgkjh like shes immediately more gloomy, ashamed of her past and her self, retreats into herself
sorry i just took this as an opportunity to dump all the carmilla thoughts floating in my head on you. you didnt ask fhkghgjh consider this an open invitation to you or anyone else to come talk to me about carmilla
#just finished watching the movie and i had actually forgotten but at the end shes a vampire again!#they totally gave us a super great opening for more conflict to explore hollstein's relationship#bc carmilla sort of puts closure to her past by taking responsibility for her part in it and it makes her a vampire again#and laura is like 'dont give up on our life together' and shes like 'im not giving up on anything!'#and laura is like 'we're supposed to live and get old and have grandkids how are we gonna do that if you dont age'#so thats a great set up#im putting the fic im writing i think another 5 years in the future#bc the movie is 5 years from the end of the series and im doing another 5 years so it's 2024#but theres so much opportunity to play there. theres conflict. tehres problems to solve. but theyre in a good place#i dont think they ever specify how vampires are made in this universe#therees some posts on carmillas blog where she responds to asks abt why she doesnt turn laura or if she would#and she just says 'you have no idea how this works'#but that was still during the series and the writers obviously wanted to keep their options open and their writing cards a bit closer to#the chest#but at this point you could make laura a vampire#you could explore that. see how they both feel abt that. would bea difficult decision#theyre also not married yet in the movie#they celebrate carmilla's 'rebirthday' where she turned human again#you could do a thing where they turn laura on that same day. sort of make that their wedding#not an easy decision i think. i think it would take a lot of discussion to get them there but not impossible#and would be fun to explore. both their feelings abt all that. and like anotehr 5 years in the future where they are in their lives#idk idk. brainstorming#thanks for giving me an opportunity to infodump a little :)#carmillaposting
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“there’s a lot left unexplained in bravern” this may be true however have you considered. that much of it can be explained by the fact that lewis smith is just a fucking weirdo
#the random 3d printer? i know so many guys with those#the superbia translator? he had his title card ready to go and NEEDED to use it. somehow#same with his theme song(s?)#bringing up the waxing? i feel like i do not need to explain this one#obviously all this could get actual explanations and this post is mostly a joke however#i fucking love this dude. whats his problem (he has so many) (this makes him infinitely better)#a: bravern#bravern spoilers#t.bbbb#anyways i’m still near certain he’s gonna make it out in some way shape or form and get a happy end but if the ending IS bittersweet#then i apologize in advance bc it will in all likelihood just make me more annoying. LMFAO#ch: lewis smith
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so what if harrison met a guy at ANOTHER party who sees him for who he is & makes him confront his internal demons <3
The man steps forward. Harrison recoils even though no one has touched him. Some partygoers have entered the kitchen now, all congregating around the punch bowl like he had been. The bang of music from outside follows them as they chatter and the noise is like an ice pick to the brain, and Harrison wants to tell them all to leave, Harrison wants to bolt from this city, Harrison wants to be someone else’s son for a day just to see if that might fix him.
“Who shamed you?” asks the man.
Harrison inhales, aware he feels like a deer just about to be shot. He glances at the others here with them—their golf ball eyes, their pearl necklaces, then eyes the door. He can’t look at the man again. If wisdom is a weapon, Harrison’s a prey animal, so gullible, death a requirement of his life.
The man opens his mouth again.
Harrison runs.
yeah i'm awful for this <3
#harrison physically running away from his problems is a mood tho it's giving prince charmont ella enchanted 2004#WHICH REMINDS ME THAT HE COULD CANONICALLY FUCKING WATCH THAT MOVIE AND SEE HUGH DANCY AND GO SPIDER-MAN POINTING MEME#anyway I DID NOT HAVE THIS SCENE IN THE CARDS IT CAME OUTTA NOWHERE LOL#wrote 2100 words today??? WHICH IS INSANE FOR BB#he's giving BABY#WHO SHAMED YOU?????#I want y'all to know that yes this is abt his father#& abt him being outcasted in high school#BUT ALSO#about Lonan#(SUBTEXTUALLY)#think I just found the emotional core of this book and shattered it#so much for a man in “shameless excess” YIKES VEIL IS PUNCTURED BABE RUN FOR COVER#or in his case go run to another man to see if that'll fix ur problem and obviously it doesn't and then ruin ur relationship with jeremiah#thumbs up#ben affleck smoking.jpg#bodyback
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Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself
#nearly bought a digital typewriter today. actually i DID buy a digital typewriter today. officially yes i have bought a digital typewriter.#the money for the digital typewriter has left my account but i have emailed them to cancel the order because i can't in good faith buy#a digital typewriter when i don't fucking WRITE#i thought it might help me get back into it. distraction free and while allowing me to not judge my own writing#and be continuously editing while i write and going 'i'm crap i'm crap i'm crap no one will ever read this and if they do they will think#that i'm garbage and that i should feel bad etc etc etc'#but it's too expensive and i have the feeling i wouldn't even like or use the thing once i got it#because the IDEAS! the ideas aren't coming to me. or rather they are but none of them seem to stick#i feel underconfident in writing any of them#and then i have old projects that i've always wanted to get back to like the tennis romance thing but SO much has changed since i first#started drafting it. like i don't even know if i like the main couple anymore. i kind of want to put both of them with different OCs of min#but it'd switch up the WHOLE story if i had a different cast#in fact most of the problem lies in the fact that i have this long-running bedtime story i tell myself every night with lore#and a massive cast of characters that i switch out depending on who i'm most interested in right now and every so often i incorporate new#themes and ideas and motifs and plot points sometimes based on media i've been watching because it's MY bedtime story and it doesn't matter#if i plagiarise in my own brain. but then obviously i can't plagiarise in real life#and none of my bedtime stories are GOING anywhere. sometimes i only get through a scene or two before i fall asleep#all of which means my bedtime story is not so much a sweeping epic novel but a sitcom with way too many characters#most of which are werewolves to be honest and sometimes for my own wish fulfilment one of them will walk out of my head#and take care of my problems for me by lending me £1million or murdering my best friend's ex. in my mind obviously#so it's like. it's a case of getting in there and annexing off the stuff i think i can use#it's like yeah i've definitely written several romance novels in my head in the process of this but does it matter if they're IN my HEAD#to be honest i feel like my main strength is in creating characters. like i have this one family of werewolves i've been slowly but surely#adding members to since i was like 16. maybe younger? no yeah i think i made the first one when i was 12#they're compelling to ME anyway. i care about them. it's just PLOTS. i can't plot#if a book could just be a lot of dialogue and sex scenes and silly moments and character studies i'd be alright#i also can't describe settings. don't ask me to because i can't#and now i'm just annoyed with myself because i sat down at my laptop to try to write and instead i'm here complaining about how i don't wri#and if i had the digital typewriter... i mean i'd probably still be doing this i'd just no longer have £300#i don't have the £300 anyway. i hope to christ they refund my card i'm a fucking idiot
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no because why did I just have to run to the supermarket when I really wasn't feeling like leaving the house anymore and proceeded to get treated like a liar a cheat and a swindler with no money when the self check-out machine kept mistakenly declining my payment 😭😭😭😭
#the lady made me try with two different cards and when they were both declined i was like#lady i really don't think it's a problem with my card#and she was like what do you want to do then#like ???? obviously try with a different machine like pls it's not my fault it's not working??? and she fully side-eyed me#but in the end it obviously worked in a differemt machine and only when the person after me also had the same problem#was she like okay i think it might be the machine then#ehkfktheidjfkekfn she was so rude to me i know it's not a rewarding job you have the right to be bitter#but i was nice i promise 😭😭😭😭#erola.txt
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see the reality is i post on my rps usually when nobodys been there a bit and nobody is probably online, but the mental illness in me keeps saying its bc everyone secretly hates me and i dont deserve love, and when i tell a gov doctor that, they basically just say ‘take your antidepressant’s and shut up’ which is also funny when said gov doctor wont refill my fucking antidepressants in the first place
#what i need is smthn for my anxiety and PROBABLY the obviously worsening ocd#but anxiety meds and antidepressants dont mix well#just like adhd meds and anything else dont mix well#which is why i just have a redbull if i need to focus bx it works for a few hours and then i pass out#which isnt healthy but its better than going through the diagnosis process AGAIN bc they dont have my info anymore#its early sad times rn w brina who hasnt gotten an ounce of treatment at all hi#see the other thing is#if i talk about my mental health at all#people will either hate me for being annoying which is what my brain will pinpoint#or feel sorry for me which i also dont want#all i rly wanna do is vent but thats never really an option at all#like yes i know its not normal to want to have a breakdown and cry bc your fucking pillow isnt the correct fluff and wont dluff#i know its not normal to feel like you should die because something wasnt in fhe spot you put it in and was moved slightly#im aware. and the reality is nobody who can do anything about it cares#i have to get an authorization to see a therapist or get meds at all even tho the card claims i dont have to#and the doc tbey gave me wont give me one#they dont allow email so i cant leave a paper trail when bitching at them and my calls go ignored#im losing my mind steadily#and thats not even onto the physical problems#but also the sheer fucking audacity of the website being all ‘oh just go to ERs and UC snd we’ll cover it’ vs hospitals specifically saying#‘we will refuse you if you have Gov Ins unless you have the money to pay out of pocket#if youre on gov insurance you dont have fucking money thats the entire fucking point. you creedy fucknuts go shove tour nepotism in your#fucking eyes and die if anyone doesnt deserve to fuck its you fuckfaces#sometimes i just want to scream esp when this doesnt seem to be most other ppls issues#but then i talk to other women and it is#it just doesnt make sense and i hate it#but i never rly got help on private insurance either so#tbd#depression cw
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kind of insane that "joe biden literally has to have reporters' questions written on a cue card in advance so he can answer them vaguely coherently" is not a bigger news story. like i know it happened about 3 weeks ago now but it feels like having politics be so transparently shown as bread and circuses and the only response i've seen to it is snide twitter liberals going "okay and? trump used cue cards too" and it's like do you not see how fake interviews meant to placate the masses is not like. a big deal.
#obviously it's normal to use cue cards during interviews and i'm not saying that this is a problem#but there were literally questions the reporter was going to ask written on them in advance.#that's not an interview. that's a stage performance lmfao
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Once again chanting in my mind "graphic card" to avoid snapping at my mother saying dumb shit
#how do you always get to the wrong conclusion of everything oh my godddddd#yeah yeah a lot is wrong with doctors like a fucking lot I'm well aware I've suffered huge amount of pains for years for that#but she says it from a novax point of view so she's still wrong by saying the right thing and it annoys me so much!#obviously she's too fucking fatphobic to see how that is one of the biggest issues in medicine#fun fact my father is not taking meds to heal from something that could actually kill him because it stops him from eating#that's apparently okay but vaccines aren't#someone should study their brains under a microscope#also my father problem was probably caused by the extreme diet he did that was mostly starvation#at least i feel better about myself#sometimes i get very depressed about all the things I'll never be able to do because i fucked my wrist at 18 but at least i did that#crocheting#he completely destroyed his health to lose weight#also even more fun thing he wanted to lose weight for reasons that didn't have anything to do with the weight he probably just can't eat#grains#he got better as soon as he stopped eating normal pasta and switched to the fake ones made with rice and stuff#they didn't connect the dot#but the second i thin person started to have issues breathing#that are definitely side effects of covid btw#grains were immediately blamed#god i shouldn't get into these rants because i just get mad at their stupidity AND I NEED TO STAY CALM FOR THE GRAPHIC CARD#and especially not build enough represed rage about it to risk trying to choke my mother the next time she says it's fine i lost all that#weight#sure it's fine losing weight because of illness and depression is fucking wonderful#i have to fight with myself most days to eat enough but sure that's fine I'm staying thin!
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Me: starting to make lunch in the kitchen
Mother: comes in after me and makes it VERY clear that *i* am in the way
Also mother: gets pissed off when i say i'll make my food later
#I WAS THERE FIRST#cCLEARLY GATHERING INGREDIENTS#but no IM the one getting in HER way#for fucks sake its my birthday tomorrow she abandoned me during an asthma attack i had to get her to call me a fucking ambulance for#and today shes fucking aggro bc i was IN *HER* WAY????#and after i fixed her fucking tv EVEN AFTER SHE WOKE ME UP o fixed her fucking app she was having issues with she RUINED the chicken stock#i was trying to fucking make last week AND SHE INVADED THE FUCKING KITCHEN WHILE I WAS TRYING TO MAKE FOOD#but no obviously im the fucking problem#also bought her a fucking mini waggle maker bc she cant eat the big ones i found 4 more kdramas for her to watch AND shes put zero effort il#into my birthday#like i spend the entire year picking presents for her and my dad and my sister and ALL THREE OF THEM COME TO ME FOR THEIR PRESENTS TO EACH#OTHER and she fucking refuses to put any effort into gifts for me#just hands me cash#“its too hard i dont know what you like” even when i fucking made a list of gift cards she could get AT THE FUCKING GROCERY STORE#and we always fucking eat where anybody fucking else in the family wants to eat#nevermind its supposed to be my fucking birthday#anyway turns out im still bitter and angry that my birthday has never been about me#time for my annual Birthday Self Pity to start#at least i organised my own birthday cake this year#so im actually getting what i want#since last year the dessert she made i cant fucking eat#bc im fucking allergic to eggs#and the year before that she wasnt speaking to me so i bought my own present#jokes on her that was my best birthday in decades#bc i actually got to do what i wanted which was fucking nothing#she didnt force us to go out for lunch AND THOUGHT SHE WAS PUNISHING ME#and the year before that i put my fucking foot down and said i wanted fish and chips at home#but she had to choose the fucking fish and chip place and she chose the fucking chinese restaurant so it was shit#i have forced myself to stop caring about my birthday bc it's just retraumatising myself every time i care
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⚡⭐ and I can't do the emoji for it but the top one about voices for Wen pretty please ☺️ and maybe also Maria?
Hey you! <3
(Headcanon Meme)
Alas, I have answered ⚡⭐ and ⍤ for Wen already here, but as for Maria's voice:
I think Maria sounds kind of like Dessa (in this TedTalk about whether it's possible to make yourself fall out of love, or this song, chosen not at all because it's on my Maria/Fenris playlist and it describes their relationship perfectly c:), except with a light Spanish/Antivan accent (which she picked up from her father) (though, tbh, i do think in the canon Hawke voice when I write her dialogue)
(If you meant all of them for both, Maria adores the stars. She and her dad used to chart the stars together and talk about the stories attached to them. Sometimes when they go up Sundermount, she sits a little away from the others and finds the constellations she used to track with Malcolm.
She also sunbathes naked, so she has a solid fondness for the sun, too, especially after the winter, but the sun is technically still a star, isn't it?)
#maria hawke#ask response#oc ask response#maria sounds like dessa bc i have listened to that song a billion times writing fic for her lol#maria is star coded#if i had money i would get a star tarot card of her. but not the rider-waite version#which is not my favorite#maria sunbathing naked: 😎 her friends somehow missing the fact that she always does this: 😶#(but lbr merrill would be cool to hang with her while she's sunbathing. and isabela obviously wouldn't care. it's everyone else w a problem
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You're more amazing than 3D models
I haven't made any 3D models in months, but I have made 3 Differentcolorsofcommoncards! Here's the greens
I renamed a few that I showed previously because I think I've figured out the flavor I want to go with. Still placeholder names obviously, but slightly more fitting placeholder names
#asks#custom cards#specifically the flavor is that white/enchantments revolve around some kind of religion thing#red/artifacts are some artificer faction#and black/green/blue counters are like. some kinda genetic modification thing#all of them chasing improvement in their own ways#anyway i also finished all the white and red commons!#black is already half-done so i gotta work on the blues next#i like the idea of daily updates but i'm making cards faster than i can post them lol this is awesome#i love being done with college!#but i'm gonna have to get a job at some point :(#i'll just have to finish the set before then!#and at the rate i'm going that's definitely achievable!#i think i should break for today. i don't want to burn out and then leave this sitting for a month#also! very big news! i finally figured out how to get tumblr mass image uploading to do things in the right order!#it puts the images from top to bottom based on how they're sorted in the file explorer#except to make things confusing the specific image you drag will always be at the top#i had it sorted by date so the lowest numbered cards were at the bottom which put everything upside down#in other news i changed “bow blessing” to “spider's support” which is not for faction reasons like the others#it's just such a perfect name because the card basically has support 2#and bow blessing was an aura but i changed it because green so i wanted to name the new version differently#also i'm kinda really unsatisfied with green/white being enchantments#white needs an enchantment archetype obviously but it doesn't interact with anything that green is doing#in fact i have trouble making green auras because they do the same thing as counters#blue having an artifact theme would probably cause the same problems if it weren't for supply tokens connecting the themes#but at least blue has modified as a major theme so it can use auras well#and green having both +1 counters and keyword counters takes up all the design space for auras#i'll just have to try making lots of green non-aura enchantments and resonance elementals at uncommon
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normally I'm not very critical of movies but oh my gosh. the one I just watched was so bad (I sat here for a while trying to figure out the best way to word this but the benadryl has already kicked in. no thoughts head empty). like genuinely how the fuck did this get funding. How did it make it into THEATERS?
#the movie is Forever My Girl (2018) btw#I like some of the actors in the movie which is part of why I decided to watch it in the first place#but the story???? girl WHAT#I'm no child life specialist but that child should probably not be left unsupervised with a man who is probably a danger to himself without#other adults to supervise him and take care of his every need#“How do I buy an espresso machine online” “How do I use my credit cards” fucking WHAT?!#I know it's fictional. I know it's fake.#I know the film (and probably the book it's based on too) are meant to be corny and appeal almost painfully to all the tropes it contains#but wow. Holy??#I was about to say I'm speechless but obviously not because I've been rambling this entire post#my cat is about to break another one of my blinds. My train of thought has stopped (probably for the best tbh) bc he's trying to climb#through the closed blinds again. He's already broken 2 of the individual shades/pieces#guess who isn't getting their security deposit back!!!#This gal oh yeah.#but in all seriousness I love my cat#He's a good boy and he rarely gives me any kind of problems#shut up Lauren#I've been passing the time while I've been sick by playing a ridiculous amount of sudoku#and also by watching movies#so far I've watched Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)#The Interpreter (2005)#The Accountant (2016)#and Forever My Girl (2018)#anyway. me & my cat say good night <333
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I will say, something that’s kinda convenient for guys, is that you can just grow a beard and look significantly older. I can’t grow a beard w/o help, and if I did w/ that help, and still otherwise presented as I do now, ‘oh she must be older than 25’ is not going to be people’s first impression.
#I think wearing earrings make me look slightly older#or at least more adult#but that’s more like they make me look more mature#(I’ve noticed that ever since I got my ears pierced at 12–earrings make me look less like a kid)#I don’t think it’s gonna get me out of being carded in the EU#which tbf#it’s not rlly a problem#I am 22 and in most cases I’ll have my wallet on me anyways#it’s more just that it’s an interesting idea#specifically that a beard can make you look older#but not more aged#like obviously certain things like stress will make you age faster#and this look older#but that’s not rlly what I’m looking for#also I feel like that doesn’t rlly make the difference btwn early 20s and mid/late 20s#although tbf#there’s not that much physical difference w/in your 20s#I mean hey there’s plenty of times I’ve been not carded#and some based on circumstance—but sometimes I think I’ve looked close enough to 25#also this was inspired by me remembering the time the guy at a liquor store asked me if I was above 25#and then I said ‘no I’m 22’ and he carded me#which must’ve been either he misunderstood the ‘looks 25’ rule#or after thinking it over#maybe he was trying to calibrate ages?#like figure out what 25 looks like so he can get his age judgement better?
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✎ baby to the rescue
- gojo satoru x reader
in which gojo recruits your baby son to “save” you from a credit card salesman
genre: immense fluff !! baby gojo and dad!gojo shenanigans~
note: based on this and this reel. with this i hereby declare that anything past chapter 235 is null and void HAHA anyway, i truly want to post remarried empress au by this week but since 261 leaks hurt me so much, i need more fluff so have to postpone it to next week :') tagging @karikari19hikariiii <3
a part of gojo's love entries
general masterlist
Your husband Gojo Satoru... is handsome as hell, which means your baby son is also undeniably good-looking.
"Why do you pout at me?" Satoru poked his squirming baby's cheek while pursing his lips too. "C'mon, smile! That auntie is smiling at you!"
Everyone who passed by them in Shinjuku shopping district turned heads to admire him and his pumpkin just a little longer, and Satoru visibly enjoyed the attention. He smiled back at them, occasionally winking even.
If only they knew how pretty his wife was too...
Wait, no! On second thought, if they know how hot you are, there will be problems!
You had left him to go to the nearest pharmacy to restock some things, while Satoru decided to entertain his baby in the toy section. He basked in the starry-eyed looks people were giving him... until he heard some strange sounds and turned to his baby boy—
—who was chewing the beak of a duck toy with all his might. Satoru was mortified.
"—! Let that go! Your mama will beat me if she sees you eating this!"
Your baby paid him no mind though, desperately pushing the duck into his mouth. Satoru sat him on one of the empty racks and began the tug of war—
"Let go!" he reprimanded. "You're so naughty, gods—!"
Some people were now openly giggling at both of them. His son tried to resist by rolling, and Satoru clicked his tongue. He then yanked the toy away until his baby finally let it go, sniffling sadly that his papa wouldn't let him have the duck.
"Oh, you..." he picked him up again and consoled the pumpkin. "You can't do that, you hear? First, it's not clean. Second, mama will grow two heads to chew you and me both, understand?"
No, your son totally didn't understand a thing. Satoru sighed, seeing his little blue eyes welling up with tears. He ruffled his head and pulled him close. "There, there... I'll get you ice cream, okay? Now let's go."
Satoru was determined to turn his son back into a smiling, happy baby. But just as he was about to head towards the ice cream parlor, he encountered the most unbelievable sight—
"Miss! I guarantee you'll love this credit card features!"
You. That was clearly you, and a salesman (or a bozo, in Satoru's eyes) was trying to bother you.
You raised an eyebrow. "Uh, no— thank you—"
Yet the bozo was still persistent, like the pesky fly he was. "You can use it to pay for your monthly beauty treatments! Someone as pretty as you..." He eyed you from head to toe, blinking suggestively. "Oh my! Your skin is flawless! You have to maintain it this way! I can also give you recommendations for—"
You were wearing a flare dress that made you look so young and petite, and obviously, Satoru too was lusting after you. And true, your skin was smooth like a soft serve of mochi, but still!
You are meant for him and his eyes only! Oho, this bozo would get heavenly punishment.
He had to get to you somehow, but this was public space and if he cooked up some sort of shenanigan, you would put him in sex ban. I can't have that! so Satoru wracked his brain to think of another way...
Once again, his gaze fell on his now calm baby, who was also looking at his mama over there with utter curiosity. And an idea immediately popped up in his mind.
"Hey, kiddo, look at that, a bad man is trying to take your mama," Satoru nudged him as if trying to egg him on. "We can't let that happen. Will you help me to save her, hmm?"
"Mama..." your baby looked back at him so innocently before smiling. "Mamaaa!"
"Good boy." Gods, his baby was so adorable, he almost felt bad for doing this but...
Swallowing his guilt, thinking he would make it up later, he pinched his son's butt a little too firmly—
"WAAAA!" and suddenly, the little boy burst into tears, and even Satoru was surprised by the sheer volume of his wail.
The sudden inconsolable sound of your baby sent you scrambling in panic, your eyes wildly searching for him, completely disregarding the credit card man. "My baby!"
"Eh?" the credit card man was visibly surprised. "Oh... so, you're married...?"
You immediately made your way towards Satoru and snatched your baby from him, hugging him tightly. "Oh, there, there... What happened to you?" you shot your husband a distaste look as your son kept wailing. "Satoru, why is he crying?"
He nonchalantly shrugged. "Maybe missing his mama? Dunno~"
By now, you had completely forgotten the credit card bozo, but he still looked at the three of you in mild surprise. Satoru took this chance to approach him and whisper in his ear:
"You see, my wife doesn't need your credit card," he whistled. "My cards or lumpsum money will do more than enough."
After seeing how pale the bozo looked, Satoru chuckled darkly... before leading you and your son away from the crowd, with one arm possessively around your waist.
Epilogue
"I'm sorry— I'm sorry, okay!?"
Satoru looked down at his son in utter hopelessness, as the little boy refused to be held by him, looking at him with teary, resentful eyes, and backing away from him in his playpen.
Can babies hold a grudge? Satoru didn't know, but his son definitely was not happy with him, and he couldn't think of any other explanation other than his sin against him back this afternoon.
"I've bought you mochi ice cream!" he opened his palm to reveal the treat. "Don't you want some? Papa will give you some, yeah?"
Baby looked skeptical now, and at that moment, he resembled you so much—accusing eyes, pursed lips, exactly like the expression you would pull when you were unsure of what Satoru might do next. He almost chuckled at the resemblance, feeling giddy.
"C'mon, forgive me, yeah?" he patted his son's little beanie and offered his hand for him to take, eyes crinkling in fondness. "Now, here comes your treat, come closer?"
Your baby crawled closer, seemingly accepting him, and Satoru was all smiles, until—
Whack!
It happened in a flash. He could have avoided it, but he was too taken aback. The pain exploded in his jaw, so intense that he grunted loudly.
"What the—?! You... you—! You kicked me— in the face!"
#𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#satoru gojo x reader#jjk drabbles#gojo satoru#satoru x reader#jjk imagines#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo satoru fluff#jjk fluff#gojo x you#satoru gojo fluff#jjk x reader fluff#gojo fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk fic#jjk fanfic#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#gojo satoru imagines#dad!gojo#jjk gojo satoru#jutusu kaisen x reader#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo
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Any of y’all who know interact with me outside of tumblr lowkey shouldn’t even be on my blog to begin with..
#especially if you from discord omg.. i’m not tryna have my interest shit on AGAIN#obviously with some exceptions#i reblog bjd and madd stuff here and there so if you got a problem then maybe close the app..?? ion know 💀#with me also planning to post some writing and even venting if needed YALL CANNOT BE ON HERE#also the way you cannot to my stuff without going to my old card that i have yet to update.. YEAH BUDDY UR A STALKER NOW
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