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I can't believe I'm leaving my job this week
#I'd actually gotten good at it#I was feeling like such an adult#I was respected by the experienced adults in my team I was dare I say Liked??#I like some of my coworkers so so so much (they all like their outside-work lives more than me and I don't blame them)#and going back to being a student probably among children (it's a masters but still) and having to hope and pray for money#so that I can get funded for a phd feels like such a regression in so many ways#but I had to let this idea consume me ever since I finished uni until it drove me crazy and I did this#well#🙃
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😭
#i am so so painfully awkward whenever I attempt small talk with my 50-year old live-in landlord#(I am temporarily renting from a 50-year old couple in their house. this is London)#but he's like this grumpy man who hates the sun and I can't even complain about it being cold and grey as you do in British small talk#because he's like actually we don't need the sun and I have to smile and nod and I dhfjkdnfjd I never know what to tell him#and he's always around like sir I want to use the kitchen
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"I asked chatgpt-" NEXT TIME DON'T. ask ME choose ME, I can misinform you. I do it with love and affection
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the spirit is unwilling and the flesh it feels not so good also
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always thinking of that “i couldn’t stop wasting time” quote
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lmaooo
#some guy just came up to me (a normal person for once) and said I looked nice and started talking to me in a normal way#but then after I'd talked to him a bit he was just like well I'll leave you to it bye and left#lmaoo??? what was it that got him to be like actually no I don't want to pursue this I shfjekfjkdsf#to quote clueless it's like I'm a Monet and I'm nice from a distance but not close up or maybe I managed to be extremely boring for#for 2 minutes#this is actually plausible#similar thing happened to me in this very park last weekend but he was actually a tourist so I took it he actually wanted my bookshop recs
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the most tortured man alive wants to know if you want to go get a 7$ boba tea
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Sometimes a fanon interpretation shared by so many people will gaslight you into thinking YOU're not smart enough to understand it when, in reality, no, the collective of a fandom can indeed just be misinterpreting a character beyond parody. It's not you, it's them
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yesterday was the last day I saw my best office friend in the office I'm so sad I'll miss her so much 😭😭
#context I quit and am going back to uni like a CLOWN#it's in fact highly unlikely that academia will treat me right but I've made decisions so that's that now#I still have a couple of weeks left before my last day but my friend is on holiday and then working from abroad so I won't see her anymore#I'm also moving out of london for uni and I'm pretty sure I like her more than she likes me because she has 1248493049 friends#so that's probably the end of our story yes I'm being dramatic but I think I have grounds to be
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genuinely do NOT want the world to see me because i don’t think that they’d understand
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#mum's side has more drama but that's only because we actually interact with each other#I haven't seen my dad's side of the family in years precisely because of underlying drama
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sibling relationships are so strange... like i love you. you will never understand me in a way that matters. we are the same person in drastically different ways. we are sewn together. we don't talk. we are attached at the hip. you wish i was never born. can i call you. let's eat together. i forgive you. etc
#we literally hardly ever talk#i feel like i know him perfectly#and i would not be friends with him if he's weren't my brother but he might as well be the person I care and worry about the most#in this planet#he's coming to visit me in two weeks lmao again we don't really talk even when I'm back home but it makes sense
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looking for opinions both from americans and non-americans: what would you consider to be the big 4 american cities in terms of like, vibes-based cultural impact?
#as a non-american I'd say if anyone I know had to name 4 American cities it'd probably be#nyc la Washington dc and chicago??#absolutely no idea why chicago is famous though what does it have other than the bean (and johnny suh)#on a personal note (I've never been to the us this is all pure vibes) I'd go for boston and recently new orleans
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Photo

EGON SCHIELE / “THE EMBRACE” / 1917 [oil on canvas | 98 x 169 cm.]
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