#and some based on circumstance—but sometimes I think I’ve looked close enough to 25

[suswous]

I will say, something that’s kinda convenient for guys, is that you can just grow a beard and look significantly older. I can’t grow a beard w/o help, and if I did w/ that help, and still otherwise presented as I do now, ‘oh she must be older than 25’ is not going to be people’s first impression.

[louloubabys1992]

Ask for writers

Tagged by @theisolatedlily​ thank u babe xoxo

1. describe how you first started writing and when you first posted: 

I got so into the 1D fandom that I opened a tumblr account and found loads of fics about Harry and Louis. I got hooked. I go way back as a fan. am one of those who started reading fics from tumblr accounts and livejournals. I know a lot still read from those until now, even me, until ao3 became the basis of fics. I read so many fics that i wanted to write my own as well. my first ever fic, officially, was an apocalypse/zombie au called Nothing Can Come Between You and I. I say officially because I posted a couple of fics before this one but they were edited fics from a writer who took down his/her fics for reasons I don’t wanna get into. I asked permission to post them and edit them. That’s when I started joining up as a beta as well :D

2. which of your characters do you typically resonate most closely with? do you base any characters off of yourself?

I typically write in Louis’ narrative but I don’t usually base it on any perceptions I have of him, even if it’s canon. most of my fics are inspired by circumstances I see around me in my day to day life or by events that one can relate to because they do happen.

3. where do you often find inspiration?

I read a lot of fics as I’ve mentioned before and each and every one of them has left an impact on me that made me the fic writer I am today. Whenever I lack inspiration, I just open my bookmarks on ao3 and read. And then, a bulb lights up and voila, inspiration hits

4. has quarantine helped or hindered your writing process?

helped a lot! i wrote more during quarantine than I do now even though am somewhat working from home. but when corona was at its peak back in March, everything was on hold and I turned to writing.

5. do you listen to music/noise while you write or do you prefer silence? 

silence. Am sadly not one of those people who could write in a corner in a cafe even though I wish I could do something like that.

6. what is your biggest writing pet peeve in your writing or in general?

word vomit. not into that.

7. describe your ideal writing setup: 

after midnight, laptop on a cushion on my lap, neck pillow for my neck, my bed, and a quiet house where everyone is already sleeping and my mind is brimming, racing faster than my fingers could type hahahaah

8. favorite time of day to write?: 

after midnight. it mostly has to do with the fact that I am not available during the day but even before when I wasn’t working, i would find myself procrastinating all day or totally lacking inspiration and then come night time, and my mind comes alive hahahaha

9. favorite genre to write + one you’d like to try writing in the future?

Canon fics

10. do you struggle with writer’s block? 

I mean, who doesn’t, right?

11. what is the easiest part of your writing process and the most difficult? 

easiest is after I’ve day-dreamed the scene because when I day dream, its detailed to the tee, down to the words and the dialogue but the most difficult is when I postpone an idea I had in my head. If I don’t write it down instantly, it never turns out the same and that’s quite frustrating

12. how do you come up with original characters? (

I do insert a lot of original characters in my fics and they are sometimes inspired my real people but only in terms of appearance not by character or name. so, if am describing an original character in any of my fics, know that he exists but his character is not the same in real life hahahaha

13. what is your favorite and least favorite word? f

wow, this is random. um. fav would be scars and least would be veggies

14. what is one thing about your writing that you’re really proud of and one thing you hope to continue working at?

I don’t think it was something I was proud of at first but a lot of people who comment on my fics say that they like my pacing and the dialogues. so maybe that? I would say I think I need to work more on my originality. sometimes, i find myself drifting to a fic I’ve just read, especially if its the same trope and am like, wow, that’s not mine at all.

15. what work of yours has your favorite ‘verse/world building? how did you come up with it?

definitely my first abo fic Hang there like fruit, my soul/Till the tree die. I love that au and I’ve always wanted to put my own tiny twist in it. am really proud of how it came about and am massively humbled by the comments and support it received :D

16. what font and size do you write in? single spaced or double?

arial, font 18 and sometimes bigger because I don’t have good eyesight

17. what is a typo(s) you find yourself making consistently?:

names, because sometimes the names I choose are apprarently just not cool with microsoft word for some reason....sighs

18. (if applicable) do you separate fic writing from fandom?

yes, but its not intentional, it just happens

19. what emotion is your favorite to write? which is the most difficult?Angst because that’s just me hahahaaha. the most difficult? hmm, emotional love confessions maybe or the transition from friends to lovers. yeah.

20. what is one thing you hope readers always take away from your works?

the passion behind it maybe?

21. what is the best and worst writing advice you’ve ever received?

best advice is to sleep on it because I do come up with scenes for my fics when I am about to sleep ahahahah. the worse one I got came from someone who obviously doesn’t know a thing about writing. he said, ‘’just don’t write it and do something else.’’ I mean, really?

22. which one of your works would you most want to see turned into a film/television show?

nope, not happening.

23. do you write scenes chronologically or out of order?: 

most of the time in order.

24. how do you handle criticism?

quite well I think. 

 25. what is the advice you would give to someone who is looking to start writing?

Go for it. Writing is not a silly hobby. if it’s really something you wanna do, even if its just for fun or to pass the time or to make new friends. go for it, There are so many fics in this fandom that until this day, are still ingrained in my mind because they were so touching and moving to me. you never know what your words could do for someone or how much your words could make a person’s day a better day 

26. what kind of feedback on your work always makes your day?

the comments posted on my fics in ao3 always make me happy. I feel like its the best to find out if my work is worth someone’s time, you know? even though I do write for myself most of the time, the validation is nice sometimes :D

27. which fic ‘verse of your own would you most like to exist in? which fic’s characters would you most like to befriend? 

wow, all of them? 

28. what do you always enjoy getting asks about/wish people would ask about more?

hmm, I mean people could ask what they want so am cool with anything. am not picky. I get asked about plot lines or what would happen next when it comes to cliffhangers and I do my best to answer them without revealing too much :D

29. what has writing added to your life? how has it changed you?

I definitely made new friends through it and it’s been great :D

30. why do you write?

it’s my favourite thing in my entire life. It’s the one thing that no one in my life knows about, as in the people that I work with, my friends, even my family, none of them have ever read anything I’ve ever written and am fine with it. I feel like writing is purely for me and it’s something I’d like to keep as a part of me you know?

boost yourself + tags!

1a. share the last sentence you wrote:

Harry smiles despite himself. Three years together, since he was nineteen, and it shouldn’t be a surprise that Louis knows him so well, can tell by the sound of his voice if he’s okay or not, nervous or not, happy or not.

2a. describe the wip you’re most excited about:

the one am writing for the harry/men fic fest

3a. share the piece of dialogue from one of your works you’re most proud of: 

‘’You’re being really quiet and I don’t like it,’’ Louis points out.

‘’Just a bit tired,’’

‘’Stay here then,’’ Louis pats the bed. ‘’Sleep next to me,’’

‘’Are you sure? I don’t want to mess with anything by accident or…’’

‘’Harry?’’

‘’What?’’

‘’I won’t get a wink’s worth of sleep if you’re even an inch away from me,’’ he says firmly. ‘’And I’ll go on a limb here and say neither will you.’’

‘’But…’’

‘’No buts, I’m serious.’’ Louis cups his cheek, his blue eyes big and beautiful, like an entire fucking galaxy. ‘’I missed you something terrible these past few days,’’

‘’Lou…’’

‘’Be here with me, Haz. Please?’’

Harry hums before he pushes himself forward. He cannot stop it, cannot keep himself from gravitating towards Louis, taking what he wants, what he needs to make it through the night. He cups Louis’ face and kisses him but even then it’s not enough and he skates one arm around Louis’ small shoulders and tugs him closer, careful not to jostle Louis too much and kisses him like Louis’ a mermaid and he needs his air or else he’ll drown.

It eases an ache in him he didn’t know was trying to get his attention the moment he entered the room, something deep and visceral, calming down with the way Louis’ molds his lips against his, with the shape of his mouth fitting with his own, with the way his body is trying to align with his, like a constellation, each star coming together to mean something greater than they can ever grasp, something more infinite and vast.

‘’I love you,’’ Louis whispers into his lips.

‘’I’m never letting you go,’’ Harry says before he reaches for another kiss. ‘’Love of my life, fucking best thing to ever happen to me, you know that?’’

‘’My rock,’’ Louis kisses him back. ‘’My fortress,’’ and kisses him again, ‘’my strength,’’ and again and again. ‘’I love you so much. Would be dead without you,’’

‘’Don’t say that,’’

‘’It’s true,’’ Louis gasps as Harry devours his mouth, trying to stop him from saying another word. ‘’I would’ve crawled out that room right to your feet, Haz. I would’ve…’’

‘’Shh, just me kiss, babe. Just kiss me,’’ Harry pleads.

And so they do.

4a; line from my fics that I am most proud of:

hard to choose really

5a. link the last fic you read: 

bang bang (my baby shot me down) by thepolourryexpress

6a. link the last work you published: 

Ellen's haunted house by louloubaby92

7a. link to your ao3 (if applicable): 

https://archiveofourown.org/users/louloubaby92/works

8a. someone that inspires you 

Louis Tomlinson

9a. a comfort fic/work that you’ve been grateful for this year: 

bruise you like a peach by falsegoodnight

10a. other writers that you’d like to tag! 

@falsegoodnight​ @twopoppies​ @mediawhorefics​

[mimzy-writing-online]

Writing Blind or Visually Impaired Characters: Narrative

Before I get started, I want to refer you back to part one of this post which covers how to craft your blind character. The reason for this referral is because it involves determining what caused your character to go blind and what they see themselves. What your blind or visually impaired character is capable of seeing is crazy important to what kind of narrative you’re using.

Link to the Master Post: https://mimzy-writing-online.tumblr.com/post/185122795699/writing-a-blind-or-visually-impaired-character

Link to Part One, Crafting your Character: https://mimzy-writing-online.tumblr.com/post/185123396964/writing-a-blind-or-visually-impaired-character

Every post I make about writing blind characters, both now and future, will be tagged #blindcharacter on my blog. Follow this blog for more writing advice.

Disclaimer: I have been visually impaired for the last two years of my life, and I have written with two blind characters, using specifically their first person POV, so this is really getting into my experience there. This will also involve some real life experience and memories that I, a visually impaired person, have.

Narrative Choice

If your character is the main character than you have to make the choice between writing in first person and writing in third person. If you character is a secondary character or a background character, narrative choice won’t be as important, but you still need to be aware of what they can see in a particular moment and scene because it will affect how they act in that moment.

First Person

I personally think writing a blind character in first person is always the ideal. This allows your readers to inhabit the character and see what they see, or don’t see. Readers want to temporarily experience someone else’s life, and if they’re reading a story with a blind main character then they want to experience that person’s life fully.

There are drawbacks. You have to work in terms of what your character can and cannot perceive. That can make scene description hard (I will include tips for that down below) and it can be easy to slip up and forget that your character shouldn’t be able to see the color of someone’s eye, their smile, a passing street sign, the color of a gifted scarf. You have to learn to work inside their limits. If there are places you mess up and accidentally write them perceiving too much with their sight, then all you need to do is edit.

Again, there will be narrative tips for first person down below.

Third Person

The drawback to third person is the inability to inhabit the life of your character. It’s much easier to slip up and include things your character shouldn’t be able to see. Your readers will probably forget how blind your character is if they read pages and pages with great visual description and then be surprised when your character verbally remarks that they didn’t see X and Y and Z. You still have to work with what your character can realistically see and it’s much easier to forget if you’re watching their life from a bird’s eye view instead of through their eyes.

Third person is something I would recommend if it is your preferred writing style and you struggle with first person. I would still recommend at least trying first person before you nix the idea.

Again, narrative choice isn’t as crucial if your blind character isn’t your main character.

Describing the Visual World through your Blind Character in First Person

This is where thoroughly visualizing what your character can and cannot see because hugely important. Even if your character only has light and shadow perception left, there are plenty of ways to give visuals to your character’s world.

Some of this might even sound like cheating.

Depending on how old your character was when they went blind, they may still remember what it was like to have sight. Yes, this sounds like cheating, but it’s very possible that your character might remember what their home, neighborhood, friends, and family look like. However they may eventually forget and that depends largely on time. I’m jumping back to Molly Burke real quick. 

Her YouTube channel here (since it’s the first mention of her in this specific part of the post): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwf9TcLyS5KDoLRLjke41Hg

Molly lost most of her vision when she was 14, but before that she did see colors and nature and what her family looked like (she was always legally blind though, since birth) but Molly is 25 now and it’s been ten years now since she lost the rest of her vision. She doesn’t remember what colors look like or what certain animals look like now because she hasn’t seen them in 10 years. She knows which colors look nice together, but that’s from years of social learning, people saying what colors they think look good together and which colors clash. So if it’s been a long time since your character lost their vision, or if they moved away from the town they grew up in, they probably don’t have any visual memory to use.

Your readers will create their own scenery automatically. They already do with sighted narrators. No matter how thoroughly you describe a room or a house or a beach they will always see it with their mind, and their mind will always use the things they know to see. (I personally use layouts of houses I’ve been to before when reading a book with a character who lives in a house, and same with apartments that I’ve been in, and my mind’s picture is never identical to the writer’s but that can’t be helped.)

So your readers know what a suburban neighborhood looks like. They know what a beach looks like, or a forest, or a meadow of flowers, or a late fall afternoon looks like. They know what schools, hospitals, department stores, and restaurants look like. Their brains will automatically fill in the narrative gaps with the details that belong there, you just have to tell them where they are, or where the character understands themselves to be.

A trick for triggering the right mental picture in just a few words: Use location, mood, time of day, how crowded it is, and aesthetic. A quiet and peaceful beach versus a crowded beach littered with trash. Two different settings, but described in only a few words. A modern, busy coffee shop versus a relaxed hipster coffee shop. Loud nightclub? Smokey jazz lounge? Dark dive bar? Dingy public bathroom? Clean, modern bathroom? They all invoke different images in your head based on past experiences you’ve had but I only used a few words for each location.

Unless you’re like me and have absolutely no experience with nightclubs and have no idea what they’re like because you’re not about that life, so whatever you picture is based off Oliver Queen’s bar on Arrow because you’ve seen enough clips of it.

Things your character will always know (unless in special circumstance)

-Location (unless they were kidnapped or blacked out and woke up somewhere new, in which case you get to decide how they figure out where they are)

-Time of day (unless drugged or just particularly awful with time keeping like me)

-North, East, South, West (blind people are better at this than sighted people actually. They teach themselves to be so they don’t get lost.)

-Season and climate they live in

-If where they are is crowded or deserted or somewhat populated, and if the current amount of people is odd for this particular location and time.

That is enough to get a setting started, but then you add in non-sight sensory details.

Your character’s other senses can pick up the other details.

They’ll hear the leaves crunching under their feet and scraping against the pavement as they move their cane, hear the traffic or the kids playing in the park or the footsteps behind them on a quiet street or the skateboards whizzing past. They’ll feel the sand under their fingers, the soft sink of grass under their sneakers, slippery mud, the cracked pavement or the bumpy asphalt under their cane, or the peeled paint on the wall chipping under their nails, or sticky syrup on the table they didn’t see before they put their hand there. They’ll feel the sun on their cheeks. They’ll feel the chill of the wind. They’ll smell the food in the restaurant they’re visiting, or smell the pinesol floor cleaner, or the smelly dumpster they’re passing, or the wet dirt after rain. (When I walk outside I usually can smell the wet dirt before I see the wet puddles on the ground) Their senses can add details their eyes never could.

As a writer in general, you need to get use to using all five senses when writing, but consider this the extra mile where you use them to compensate for the lack of visual description.

Describing Conversations without Sight

That sounds like a contradiction, but there’s a lot more sight involved in a conversation than you think. Somewhere between 60 and 90% of communication is non verbal (I’ve heard multiple versions of this statistic and I can’t be bothered to look it up again myself)

This means what your characters are saying isn’t the only information you’re getting. Sighted people can use body posture and facial expression to get a feeling on someone’s mood during a conversation. A frown or a smile, crossed arms, sharp and agitated arm gestures or flowing and light arm gestures. Rolled eyes, annoyed looks, shared glances, funny faces, all of it. In some cases your blind character might see the smile or the body posture, if they have enough sight to allow for that, but if they don’t?

Your character doesn’t know who’s smiling or frowning, or what their friends look like when they do those things. Shared glances aren’t possible and your character won’t notice their friend rolling their eyes.

(Not unless their specific amount of vision allows them to sometimes see these facial expressions, such as when they’re very close and the lighting is good)

Your character is using vocal tone and word choice to find the emotion of the speaker. Fast talking implies urgency or excitement. Broken sentences or stuttering implies anxiety, shyness, guilt, lying, agitation. Calm tones, slow talking, and light laughter implies easy conversation with no tension. Mispronounced words or slurred words imply drunkenness, exhaustion, or injury.

Friends and Family Sometimes Fill in the Details You Don’t See

This is personal experience I’m writing from. It’s very common for my friends and family to point visual details out for me when I’m out and about, especially if they’re details I would care about seeing or that would make me happy to know, and these are all real things they’ve mentioned to me.

“There’s an orange cat on that roof.” “There’s a really nice garden over there, lots of roses.” “There’re two kids outside playing with light sabers.” “There are parrots in the trees above us.” “There’s a street performer across the street.” “There’s another person walking by with a cane twenty feet away from you.” (This happened yesterday before my last class of the semester, so fresh memory) “Oh, there are pride flags hanging from that building.” (that was last summer on a drive through a nearby town during June, and I was very happy about it)

Or mentioning things that might be a hazard for me- “There’s a big crowd coming up.” “We’re walking into the parking lot now” “There are some orange cones ahead” “There’s a nearby ladder, walk to your right.” “There are some skateboarders coming towards us.”

Or mentioning social things of interest- “That person is checking you out.” (flirting) “That person is staring at you.” (rude) “There’s a cute guy/girl over there.” “Friend A does not look like they’re enjoying talking to friend B.” or “Friends A and C are dancing/smoking outside/laughing/staring at their phones.” Anything really.

Sometimes it’s things that are inappropriate and rude and judgey, but trust me when I say that people will tell you about it when you can’t see it. “Wow, that girl’s outfit is terrible.” or “Wow her roots are bad.” or “That dude looks like he hasn’t shaved and showered in a month.” or “I don’t like this tattoos.” or “He looks like a troll.” If your blind character has a companion who’s especially judgey, these might be things they say.

Identifying Other People in a Conversation

Here’s an important question. Does your character see enough to identify someone by their face or body or walking style? No? Here’s what you need-

If a good friend or a nice classmate walks up to your character, they should say, “Hey Matt, it’s Kara” or introduce themselves somehow so that your character knows who they’re talking to, and then the conversation starts.

If you’re going to tell me that your character recognizes everyone by the sound of their voice, I’m going to tell you that you’re wrong.

Humans aren’t capable of producing super unique vocal tones and ranges that set them apart from the other 7 billion here, and humans, (even the super powered blind people I’m going to tell you to avoid writing in part three) even blind humans are not capable of recognizing everyone’s voice.

Your character might recognize a specific voice if its- 

1) Their parents or their siblings or their best friends or their teachers, maybe. I can’t pick my mom’s voice out in a crowd, so obviously that’s not a guarantee 

2) They might recognize someone if they have a recognizable accent that few other people in your character’s life have. American friend in the U.K. or a Russian classmate in America with an accent.

3) That person has an exceptionally high or low voice that really stands out. Not likely though.

If they do recognize that person, they probably only recognize them in context. I recognize teacher’s voices if I’m in the specific part of campus I normally see them in. I recognize some -some- of my classmate’s voices if I’m physically in that class, but I’d never pick them out of a voice line up on a different side of campus. I recognize actors voices if I’m watching TV (actually, it’s more that I recognize dialogue of movies and tv shows I’ve watched before and remember who played what part)

In certain circumstances, yes, maybe your character would recognize someone’s voice. Please use the “Hi Matt, it’s Kara, have you finished the homework yet?” method because it’s so much more reliable and I would love it it the people who read your works learn to start introducing themselves that way to their blind friends.

Obviously, not all of your characters will know to introduce themselves to you this way, or may forget, but hopefully your blind character has taught their friends well enough to do that.

I will leave that as Part Two. It’s been five hours since I started this project and it’s way past midnight. Feel free to leave me asks about writing blind characters. I will always be happy to answer your asks.

Follow this blog for more writing advice (and not just for blind characters)

[usashirtstoday]

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[dustedmagazine]

Dust Volume 6, Number 5

Courtney Marie Andrews

The lockdown continues, and live music has disappeared, replaced by a somewhat antiseptic and unsatisfying spate of live streamed shows mostly one person with a guitar on the couch in their living room.  We salute the courage and the effort but miss bands and audiences and even the chatter drifting in from the bar area.  In the meantime, at least for now, there are still lots of new records vying for our attention.  We present this Dust to catch up with some of them.  It’s an ecletic survey of contemporary classical, vengeful hip hop, psyche, jazz, folk and metal artists, all continuing to try to navigate a very difficult period.  Our writers this time include many of the usual suspects, Bill Meyer, Ray Garraty, Jonathan Shaw, Andrew Forell, Tim Clarke, Jennifer Kelly, Tobias Carroll and Patrick Masterson.  

a•pe•ri•od•ic—For (New Focus Recordings)

for a•pe•ri•od•ic by a•pe•ri•od•ic

Silence is a rhythm, too, and a•pe•ri•od•ic dances to it repeatedly throughout their second recording. The Chicago-based ensemble has traversed the new music continuum, performing music by composers from Peter Ablinger to Christian Wolff. Sometimes that silence isn’t quite what you want to hear — the COVID-19 pandemic cut short its tenth anniversary spring season one concert too soon — but it proves to be rich loam from which to grow music on this CD. All four of its pieces were composed specifically for the group by individuals who recognize the merit of non-imposing sounds. That knowledge derives in part from the fact that three of the composers also perform with the group, but also from their long-standing engagement with post-Cage-ian and Wandelweiser material. Director and pianist Nomi Epstein’s descriptively entitled “Combine, Juxtapose, Delayed Overlap” feels like a ceremony intermittently perceived through an opening and closing door. Billie Howard’s “Roll” tucks the composer’s whispering violin behind muted French horn and voice, wringing intensity from the effort one must apply to following its retreating sonorities. Vocalist Kenn Klumpf’s “Triadic Expansions (2)” moves in the other direction, sprouting ivy-like from the slenderest branches of sound. By comparison, Michael Pisaro’s stately “festhalten/loslassen” is a veritable riot of unwinding tonal colors. As the decade ticks towards year eleven, rest assured that a•pe•ri•od•ic is searching for the next promising idea.

Bill Meyer

 Agallah — Fuck You The Album (Propain Campain)

Fuck You The Album by Agallah

This is a personal vendetta album. After more than 25 years in the game, Agallah has got to settle the score against the whole world. To say he just has a chip on his shoulder would an understatement. Thirteen songs of pure hate with the title quite properly reflecting its content. In his fight, the rapper strips down all the artistry, including the production. Known for making beats for other hip hop acts, Agallah here not only uses barely serviceable beats, he doesn’t even makes pretense he needs beats. Almost all the tracks work as a capellas. His gruffy voice and arrogant flow don’t need sonic support. And what support can you expect from the world full of phonies, liars, actors, pretenders, cowards and fair weather friends? “Stop pretending, my career is not ending,” he almost screams on “Telling Lies To Me.” If this CD feels like a dinosaur in 2020, then it says that it is not something wrong with this album but with the world.

Ray Garraty

 Courtney Marie Andrews — “Burlap String” single (Fat Possum)

Old Flowers by Courtney Marie Andrews

As the eponymous song of 2018’s May Your Kindness Remain amply demonstrated, Courtney Marie Andrews’ pipes are not to be fucked with. But while that was perhaps the most vivid depiction yet of her abilities, the Phoenix native’s delivery can be just as powerful on a muzzle. Such has been her approach thus far with what we’ve heard from Old Flowers, originally slated for an early June release but since pushed back to July (or beyond, who knows). The post-breakup lyrical territory was initially revealed with first single “If I Told,” but it’s the gently loping “Burlap String” I’ve had on repeat for much of the past month. Ever ended a relationship with someone and regretted it? Lush piano and a sighing slide guitar tell you Courtney has without her ever having to utter a word, and much of the song is an illustration of the internal conflict that lingers long after you’ve made the call. I’m inclined to write out the whole second verse here, but it’s the end of the third that lingers as Andrews evokes barely holding back tears: There’s no replacing someone like you. That ensuing pause runs bone-deep, its implication clear — no amount of Mary Oliver can save you from yourself.

Patrick Masterson

 Dennis Callaci — The Dead of the Day (Shrimper Records)

Some albums could be said to hum. In the case of the latest from Dennis Callaci, that’s meant literally: many of the songs on his new album The Dead of the Day feature warm clouds of feedback or droning organ notes. It’s a companion piece to his recent book 100 Cassettes, which features thoughts on musical icons throughout the year. This album’s focus is more insular: some of the songs have a drifting, improvised feel to them. But Callaci also taps into some terrifically subdued songwriting veins here — “Broadway Blues Pt. II” recalls the haunted dub-folk of Souled American, and Franklin Bruno’s piano lends a propulsive dimension to the ruminative title track. And on “Scoreless,” Callaci teams with his Refrigerator bandmate (and brother) Allen Callaci for a song that slowly builds from acoustic foundations to something modestly grandiose. Contrary to what its title might suggest, this album feels very much like a document of one man’s life.  

Tobias Carroll

 Cameron / Carter / Håker Flaten — Tau Ceti (Astral Spirits)

Tau Ceti by Cameron / Carter / Håker Flaten

Tau Ceti is a planet that is hypothesized to be similar enough to Earth that it could potentially support similar life forms. The three musicians that recorded this tape may come not come from the same system, but they fall into a harmonious orbit around a common circumstance — they were all in the same swanky studio, Halversonics, on a particular winter day in early 2019. One supposes that whatever they were rotating, they move towards the source of heat, since Tau Ceti builds slowly from chill acoustic exploration to a fuzzed-out solar flare. As they progress, abstraction burns away and velocity increases. It’s a gas to hear Ingebrigt Håker Flaten and Lisa Cameron lock in behind Tom Carter’s increasingly gritty sound-bursts.

Bill Meyer  

 Tim Daisy — Sereno (Relay)

Tim Daisy - Sereno :: music for marimba, turntables and percussion (relay 028) by Tim Daisy

Sometimes the timing of even the most tuned-in drummer is foiled by external circumstances. Sereno was supposed to signal the end of an intense phase of solo practice by Tim Daisy. His intentions for 2020 included making an album of duets and writing music for two ensembles. But at press time he, like everyone else, is hunkered down with his family, and everything he had planned is on hold.  

Daisy’s stint as a primarily solo artist coincided with a reconsideration of identity; he wasn’t just a drummer, but a multi-instrumentalist and an orchestrator of electro-acoustic sound. Sereno is split between three elegiac marimba solos that showcase Daisy’s instinct for deliberate melodic development and five much denser constructions for imprecisely tuned radios, playing and skipping records, and Daisy’s strategically reflective drumming. If this record is the only new music that Daisy puts out this year, it leaves us with plenty to think about.

Bill Meyer

  Kaja Draksler & Terrie Ex — The Swim (Terp)

On the surface, this looks like quite the odd couple. Terrie Ex Is a Dutch electric guitarist in his mid-60s who still goes by his punk rock name. He’s a ferocious improviser whose scrabbling instrumental attack incurs intensity from any ensemble that doesn’t want to get bowled over, and he knows more Ethiopian tunes by heart than anyone on your block. Kaja Draksler is a Slovenian pianist exactly half his age whose recent projects include a fast-paced, idiosyncratically balanced trio with Petter Eldh and Christian Lillinger, and an octet for which she sets Robert Frost poems to a combination of chanson, Baroque chamber music, and thorny free improvisation. But neither got where they are by letting fear deter them from a musical challenge, and both of them have a fine awareness that one way of understanding their respective instruments is that they are pieces of wood with wires attached. Given that common understanding of music as a combination of coexisting textures and assertive actions, they work together quite well on this CD, which documents a performance that took place at London’s Café Oto in 2018. Scrape meets sigh, jagged fish-hook pluck meets sparse wire-damped drizzle, instinct meets intuition, and when the disc is done, it’ll seem quite sensible to dive back in and swim the whole length in reverse.

Bill Meyer  

 Errant — S/T EP (Manatee Rampage Recordings)

errant by errant

Errant is the one-woman project of Rae Amitay. Some listeners of metal music may be familiar with Amitay’s work, as vocalist for death-grind-hybridists Immortal Bird and as drummer for the folk-metal act Thrawsunblat. For Errant, Amitay has created songs and sounds that have little in common with those other bands’ aesthetic extremities. “The Amorphic Burden” may prompt you to recall the melodic black metal that Ludicra was making toward the end of that band’s storied run, or the sludgy drama of Agrimonia’s most recent record. In any case, Errant’s sound skews toward more luminescent atmospheres. Production values are largely pristine; Amitay wants you to hear clearly every string and cymbal strike. It makes sense. She plays a bunch of instruments well, and that’s part of the point: that one woman is producing all the sounds, and all the affect. She ends the EP with a cover of Failure’s “Saturday Savior,” and it’s the least interesting thing on the record. But even there, she presents the listener with something worth hearing. Her clean vocals are lovely, disarmingly so. What may be most impressive about this early iteration of Errant is the extent of Amitay’s talents, and how those talents allow her to encroach on the hyper-masculine territory of the “one-man” act.

Jonathan Shaw  

 Field Works — Ultrasonic (Temporary Residence)

Ultrasonic by Field Works

Stuart Hyatt’s latest compilation in the Field Works series is an absolute beauty — and timely given it’s being released during a pandemic whose origins may be linked to bats. The field recordings that the contributors used to create the music on Ultrasonic come from the echolocation of bats, and the approaches tend towards rhythmic or atmospheric. At the rhythmic end of the spectrum we have Eluvium’s majestic opener “Dusk Tempi,” akin to his work on Talk Amongst the Trees. Mary Lattimore’s glimmering harp patterns are fitting accompaniment to the chittering bat sounds on “Silver Secrets.” And Kelly Moran’s prepared piano on “Sodalis” sends the listener down a hall of mirrors, chased by gorgeous bass tones. At the more abstract, atmospheric end of the spectrum we have Jefre Cantu-Ledesma’s radiant “Night Swimming.” Christina Vantzou blurs the line between the sounds of modular synthesis and bat sonar on “Music for a Room with Vaulted Ceiling.” And on Sarah Davachi’s “Marion,” the listener is immersed in a luminous halo of nocturnal overtones. Wherever the artists venture, this is a varied yet consistently evocative collection.

Tim Clarke  

 FMB DZ — The Gift 3 (Fast Money Boyz / EMPIRE)

The Gift 3 was initially set to be released in December 2019 but was postponed until now. DZ’s “Merry Christmas, pussies!” on one of the tracks doesn’t sound so odd, though, because the whole world has plunged into a constant holiday. The new album continues two trends. It carries on the “ape” theme from the previous album Ape Season. “Ape Activities,” “Keep It on Me” and “No Features” are the grittiest tracks from a disc where the prevalent mood is a sick worry. DZ made it out of the hood but had to be on the lookout as the enemies are out to get him. The other trend is that The Gift 3 continues the ideas of The Gift series. The songs have a usual verse-hook structure, are poppier and more relaxed than on Ape Season. DZ, thankfully, doesn’t try to sing anymore but hires some singers on choruses. The hardest track here is “High Speed” with Rio Da Yung Og where Detroit/Flint duo spit vicious lines.

Ray Garraty

  Hala — Red Herring (Cinematic)

Detroit multi-instrumentalist Ian Ruhala wears his heart dripping from his sleeve on “Red Herring” his latest record as Hala. Skipping from the yacht rock of “Making Me Nervous” to the country blues of “True Colors” via power pop, The Kinks and Tom Petty, Ruhala manages to create a thread with deceptively simple melodies and the sincerity of his delivery.  There’s more than a touch of Kevin Barnes in the voice and the delight in throwing genres at the wall to see what sticks and, like Barnes, some of it fails to adhere. The pleasure here is in the sense of eavesdropping on the process and reveling in unexpected flourishes that refuse to be ignored.  

Ruhala writes a smooth love song and isn’t afraid to turn up the guitar or address politics on standout “Lies” - “I’m eating breakfast with the fascists/Oh man they stand about ten feet tall/My mouth is bleeding at their proceedings/They get their courage through a plastic straw” It may not be Guthrie but he makes it work through a leavening wit and a mid-tempo vamp straight from the solar plexus. “Red Herring” suffers somewhat from its stylistic roaming but a fundamental big heartedness and willingness to reach makes it an enjoyable trip.  

Andrew Forell  

 Las Kellies — Suck This Tangerine (Fire)

Suck This Tangerine opens with a loose groove and a grime smeared highlife guitar line, the voice enters with ironic invitations over choppy Gang of Four chords. In the new one from Las Kellies, Argentinian duo Cecilia Kelly and Silvina Costa sling taut bass lines and slash guitars over mutant disco rhythms for 12 tracks of slinky indie dance. Drawing on elements from Leeds, London and the Bronx, Kelly and Costa add dubby space and South American humidity to their sound, to elevate the album beyond the sum of its influences.  

Kelly handles guitar and bass, wielding the former like a cross between Andy Gill and Viv Albertine and unfurling loose funky serpents with the latter. Costa swings between ESG and The Bush Tetras and incorporates an array of hand drums that deepen and enliven the rhythmic pulse. There is a palpable and joyful chemistry between the two evidenced by their easy interplay and enhanced by the production that gives clarity and elbowroom to each instrument. If the lyrics can tend toward the perfunctory, they are delivered with a winking insouciance on put downs like “Close Talker” and “Rid Of You”.  Suck This Tangerine is a worthy addition to the growing collection of feminist post-punk inspired albums we’ve been dancing to of late.  

Andrew Forell  

 Mint Mile — Ambertron (Comedy Minus One)

Ambertron by Mint Mile

Silkworm, the band, may have ended in 2005 with the death of drummer Michael Dahlquist, but its legacy of slow, gut-socking heaviness, mordant wit and muscular guitar lives on, first in Bottomless Pit and now in Tim Midyett’s new band Ambertron. Midyett’s voice and clangorous baritone guitar is instantly recognizable, of course, to anyone who loved Silkworm, but the band diverges somewhat with the pedal steel played by Justin Brown of Palliard, weaving eerily though the slow buzz and moan of “Likelihood.” Jeff Panall, from Songs:Ohio, plays the hard, heavy drums that undergird these songs, giving them structure and forward motion. Other players include Matthew Barnhart from Tre Orsi and Horward Draper from Shearwater. Greg Normal of Bitter Tears contributes a mournful bit of trumpet to “Fallen Rock,” and Chicago alt-country mainstay Kelly Hogan takes the lead in “Sang.” The music is raw and morose; even dense strings can’t quite lift the gloom in “Christmas Comes and Goes,” a song as raw as late November in Chicago. And yet there’s a sort of resilience in it, a strength that comes through persistence. “If we could only find a way to bank the time we had together,” sings Midyett in “Giving Love,” his hoarse voice full of ragged loss, his guitar raging against it all and not quite beaten down even now.

Jennifer Kelly

 Gard Nilssen’s Supersonic Orchestra — If You Listen Carefully the Music Is Yours (Odin)

If You Listen Carefully The Music Is Yours by Gard Nilssen´s Supersonic Orchestra

Perched atop his drum stool, Gard Nilssen sits where styles converge. He’s supplied the controlled boil that drives the free-bop combo Cortex, laid down some heavier beats with Bushman’s Revenge and exemplified long-form lucidity with his own trio, Acoustic Unity. In 2019, the Molde Jazz Festival recognized his versatility and forward perspective by anointing him the artist in residence. Besides showcasing his ongoing projects and accompanying heavy guests from abroad, most notably Bill Frisell, he got to put together a dream project. This 16-piece big band, which includes members of Cortex, Acoustic Unity, and the Trondheim Jazz Orchestra, is it. With the assistance of co-arranger André Roligheten, Nilssen has taken some of his trio’s sturdy melodies and turned them into frameworks for boisterous but subtly colored performances. With three basses and three drummers, this could have been either a mess or an uptight game of “you first,” “no sir after you.” But the rhythm crew shifts easily between swinging unisons and refractory elaborations. Roligheten often plays two saxophones at once in smaller settings, and one suspects that he has a lot to do with the rich colors that the horns paint around the featured soloists.

Bill Meyer  

 Matthew J. Rolin — Ohio (Garden Portal)

Ohio by Matthew J. Rolin

The ghoulish image on the j-card belies the sounds encoded upon this tape. Matthew J. Rolin is a relative newcomer to the practice of acoustic guitar performance; the earliest release on his Bandcamp page was recorded in late 2017. But he’s catching on fast. Switching between six and twelve-string guitars, he serves up equal measures of ingratiating lyricism and immersive surrender to pure sound. Opener “Red Brick” slots into the former category, with a heart-tugging melody that keeps doling out turns that’ll keep you wondering where it’s going and backtracks that’ll ensure that you never feel lost. “Brooklyn Centre,” on the other hand, grows filaments of string sound out of a pool of prayer bowl resonance centering enough to make you cancel your mindfulness app subscription due to perceived lack of need. Rolin develops ideas situated between these poles over the rest of this brief set, which runs just shy of 28 minutes and definitely leaves one wanting a bit more.

Bill Meyer

 Nick Storring — My Magic Dreams Have Lost Their Spell (Orange Milk)

My Magic Dreams Have Lost Their Spell by Nick Storring

What Jim O’Rourke did for the music of Van Dyke Parks and John Fahey on Bad Timing, Nick Storring does for Roberta Flack’s on My Magic Dreams Have Lost Their Spell. The Canadian composer may not have O’Rourke’s name recognition or past membership in a very famous rock band going for him, but consider these parallels. He’s a handy with quite a few instruments, he’s an inveterate assistant to other artists across disciplinary lines, and he functions with equal commitment and fluency in a variety of genres. For this record, his first to be pressed on vinyl (albeit in miniscule numbers), Storring uses the lush string sound of Flack’s 1970s hits as a launching point for deep sonic immersions that are considerably more emotionally oblique than their inspirations’ articulations of loneliness and surrender. When he goes melodic, the cello-led tunes seem to reach for something that they never touch, and when he goes for slow-motion density, the music imparts an experience akin to watching the sort of cinematic experience where you can’t tell if you’re seeing a really slow take or the film has frozen at a single frame.

Bill Meyer

 Sunn Trio — Electric Esoterica (Twenty One Eight Two Recording Company)

Electric Esoterica by Sunn Trio

Sunn Trio, from Arizona, makes sprawling, multi-ethnic psychedelia that juxtaposes the scree and groan of heavy improvisational rock with the otherly chords and rhythms of the Middle East.  Opener “Alhiruiyn” slicks a trebly sheen over its surging, rampaging improvisations, more in the vein of Black Sun Ensemble than Cem Karaca.  But “Majoun” layers antic percussion and tone-shifting bent notes in a limber evocation of the souk.  “Roktabija The Promulgator” blasts a strident, swaggering surf riff, about as Arabic as “Miserlou” (which is, in fact, Arabic).  “Khons at Karnak” buzzes with hard rock aggression, but shimmies with belly dancing syncopation.  Because of the name, the preoccupation with non-Western cultures and the Phoenix mailing address, you might think that Sunn Trio is aligned somehow with Sun City Girls, but no.  All kinds of weirdness lurks in the desert out there, lucky for us.  

Jennifer Kelly  

 Turbo, Gunna & Young Thug — “Quarantine Clean” single (Playmakers)

Despite the subject matter’s potential (ahem) virality, “Quarantine Clean” slipped out almost unnoticed in early April and is the kind of muted performance Young Thug doesn’t get enough credit for (while, curiously, his followers often get too much derision for). For all of Thugger’s hyperfluorescent hijinx over the years that have produced earworms like, say, “That’s All” and “Wyclef Jean,” there’s another side that shows up in stuff like “The Blanguage” and “Freaky” where he lets the words do the work; that’s the subterranean sonic world we’re living in here as he opines on God’s role in the pandemic and why he’s lost so much money but still has to pay for his parents’ penthouse (which: welcome to the revolution, pal). Thug’s acolyte in slime Gunna, meanwhile, does most of the song’s heavy lifting with duties on the first verse and chorus, but it’s pretty hard to tell the two apart, such is the slippery restraint both opt to exercise here. The real star, then, is beatmaker Turbo, whose buoyant anchor melody is complemented by what sounds like a lilting flute. It’s a light touch from all parties, a mellow mood well suited to our time of collective party-eschewing shelter. Run that back in prudence.

Patrick Masterson

 Various Artists—Ten Years Gone (A Tribute to Jack Rose) (Tompkins Square)

Ten Years Gone : A Tribute to Jack Rose by Various Artists

A decade on from the too early passing of the great American Primitive/blues/raga player Jack Rose, Arborea’s Buck Curran gathers friends, collaborators and younger artists inspired by Rose for a gorgeous tribute to the master. Mike Gangloff, who played with Rose in Pelt and Black Twig Pickers, leads off with a plaintive, sepia-toned fiddle lament (“The Other Side of Catawbwa”), while next generation experimental droner Prana Crafter closes with an expansive, space folk reverie (“High Country Dynamo”). In between, old friends like Sir Richard Bishop evoke Rose’s full-blown orchestral guitar playing (“By Any Other Name”) while young pickers like Matt Sowell take up the trail forged by Dr. Ragtime. Isasa from Spain and Paulo Laboule Novellino from Italy attest to Rose’s global appeal. It’s mostly guitar, but not entirely; Helena Espvall from Espers contributes a brooding, reverberant “Alcantara” on cello. Curran’s own “Greenfields of America (Spiritual for Jack Rose)” is slow and thoughtful, letting long bent notes ring out with liquid clarity; it’s a hymn and a prayer and a testimony to the wide influence of an artist gone too soon.  

Jennifer Kelly

 Emily Jane White — Immanent Fire (Talitres)

Immanent Fire by Emily Jane White

Emily Jane White gets tagged as a folk singer, but on this, her sixth full-length, the Oakland songwriter brings a fair amount of goth-tinged drama. Taut string arrangements and big booming drums lift “Infernal” well out of the woman-with-guitar category, and White sounds more like PJ Harvey or even Chelsea Wolfe than a sweet voiced strummer. Immanent Fire sticks, topically, to environmental concerns with track titles like “Washed Away,” “Drowned” and “Metamorphosis.” A foreboding creeps through the songs, pretty as they are, even piano lit “Dew” asks “Does poison drop like the dew?” Arrangements, by Anton Patzner, the composer, arranger and violinist of Foxtails Brigade and Judgment Day, give these cuts weight and heft, punctuating eerie melodies with thick swathes of strings, rumbling percussion and keyboards. The disc culminates in “Light” which begins in a whisper and climaxes in drum-shocked, orchestral swoon. Soothing background music it is not.

Jennifer Kelly

 Z-Ro — Quarantine: Social Distancing (1 Deep Entertainment / EMPIRE)

An unexpected seven-track EP bears an expected title from a Dirty South legend. Z-Ro’s usual topics — trust and loneliness — gain a new meaning in the time of social distancing. To keep away women who only want his money is a necessary precaution now. To be at the corner at the party is a rule for survival. Z-Ro is on his ground counting his dough alone in the house. Earlier he did it so no ‘shife’ (the title of one of the tracks) friends could rob him, now it’s just to obey quarantine rules. The first half of this EP is a bit muddled by unnecessary intros and reggae tunes but the second one hits hard. As always with Z-Ro, the hardest content takes the gentlest form (“Niggas is Hoes” especially is almost a pop song). On the final track “Life of the Party” Boosie Badazz drops by, giving his verdict on the pandemic: “Fuck Corona!”

Ray Garraty

[dramionediscussion]

To the slow-burn questioner. This advice is based on the assumption that your chapters are anything between 1-3k words (so the total length until the kiss is somewhere between 34k and 102k). In general, if there's any questions, when a length of is of any importance, the word count is by far the best metric. Anything else is can be seriously misleading or difficult to comment upon, because there's so much variation. E.g. I just looked average chapter lengths for my favorite Dramione fics (which are almost all novel length slow-burners) and the avg. was somewhere around 3-5k, longest being around 10k and shortest 2k. Harry Potter books themselves have around 5,5k as a contrast. When we are talking about 34 chapters, well even divergence of 1k words is considerable difference in total length (Of course, nobody expects you to predict the exact amount and stick by it. A crude approximation is totally sufficient. If you have written just chapter or two, extrapolate from that, and it probably won't be too far off base in the end).

As for the question itself, unfortunately there's no clear-cut answer, because so much depends on other factors and circumstances. As an example, I've abandoned otherwise well written Dramione fics around 6-10k, because there wasn't any inclination of any Dramione, or even faint promises of something to come. Yet, one of my favorite fics has their first kiss around 70-100k mark, and even that is a stolen kiss, and from there it takes 30-50k before it develops into a explicit (physical) romantic relationship.

Difference was that the latter had Draco and Hermione interacting and being involved into each others lives from the very start, and former had them totally separated. It can be fairly antagonistic, or devoid of any romantic sentiments (even a relationship based on a hatred and hostility is still a relationship. Other is nothingness and void, and that gives me well ... nothing). I believe that as long as a Dramione fic has them interacting, or influencing each other, or in some way intertwined into each others' lives and minds, you can have a fairly long and arduous road into an actual explicit romantic relationship.

This should be established quite early and it should occur often. As long as your fic has enough D&H moments from the very start, there's a plenty of time till things have to progress into a romance. There's a lot of room to play around, and the exact nature of these interactions and influences doesn't matter. It can fluctuate between anything from antagonism, longing, teasing, titillating, rivalry, competition, curiousness, pining, struggle, humor, denial, self-deception, lust, etc. Almost anything can work, but there has to be something.

Actually, I would go even further, and say that when this phase is done well, it can often be equal or more interesting as the relationship itself. Sometimes it is a treated like an obstacle, which a writer just have to get over with, in order to the relationship (the actual content) to make sense. Surely, it builds up to a relationship, but it can be more than just a build-up. In this phase their internal conflicts are often most pronounced, this inexplicable infatuation and irresistible attraction is most driving. There's some much material for a drama and conflict, and for a romance in its most heightened and purest form. It's not easiest part to get right, but I find this pre-relationship phase an absolute delight, when it's written well. Definitely something to savor, though conflicting motivations, subtle hints, internal struggles, sentimentality and high romanticism for various reasons are not easiest things to write satisfactorily.

How long this should, or can last at the most? Well, there really isn't an answer, because that is determinated entirely on what is actually happening between those chapters. Beyond D&H content, there has to be a sense of motion with events and their relationship. It must be seen, that things are happening and they are moving towards something (not necessarily directly and linearly towards romantic relationship. It's Dramione after all, thus detours and one step forward two steps back- situations are expected). In general events should be part of some larger context and/or chain of events, with form a cohesive whole, and support and build upon each other. No filler, or idling, or stuff for the sake of it. If it start to go into circles or not proceed for prolonged time, even promises of future potential will not keep people interested. Overall, longer anything goes on, harder is to keep it going on without it turning into either stale and boring, or totally ridiculous.  

Altogether, I find this to be one of the most hardest feat to achieve with a creative work. Limiting yourself, and curtailing those temptations, because at least for me every time I think of something what I feel is clever or interesting, my immediate reaction is to squeeze it to whatever I am working at that moment. Then try to bend the larger totality to fit and compliment the added thing, and it almost never works out, and I've been better off by discarding it entirely. There's always another fic you can write, in which that discarded idea fits naturally into the flow of the story. I am not saying that this is so in your case, but if you have these concerns and this pre-relationship stage is that long, it can be a mark that it's bloated and there are parts that don't really add anything to the larger whole, and by existing actual subtract from it.

Goes without saying that events should be inherently interesting and compelling, and that is largely the factor what will make your readers stick to that +30 chapters, or give up around 1-3, kisses or no kisses. It's not pleasant thing to say, but unfortunately that will probably be largely what will determinate everything. Almost everything can work under almost any circumstances if it's well executed, and even most conventional and formally sound fic will not be well received, if the execution is not working.

This is also something that there's hard to comment or give advice in abstract, because it's so hard to define it precisely. Too complex, too elusive and there's innumerable different ways and combinations, with really subtle differences and myriad of configurations. There are some near universals (like that Dramione should have content between D&H), but I am certain there's that one fic out of tens thousands what makes opposite of that to work out somehow, despite it being a requirement for 99,99%. Even something what feels like a precondition or absolute is not necessarily so for every fic out there.

Like that text / fic should be intelligible for its readers. It's totally solid advice for almost every text out there. But then there's something like the Voynich manuscript, which is precisely interesting, because it's incomprehensible. If it was understandable, it would be just another early modern treatise on natural philosophy, maybe with some mysticism or occultism thrown in. Nothing remarkable or something what makes it enduring for anything except a footnote of the times it was written. Lack of something which is prerequisite for almost every other text, happens to be the aspect, which makes it intriguing. What I am trying to say, that anything I've written might not be true for your fic, because even something what is generally true might not be so for everything out there, and yours might be the exception (that is if my advice is true at all, even conceptually or for most Dramione readers out there, which honestly is something I don't know).  

The structure you've presented sounds a little bit alarming. Pre-romance period is what 25 chapters, then conscious and active falling in love, which culminates into a kiss like 9 chapters or something? If you are aiming for a romance fic primary, that structure is not probably not going to work. Romance fic In this context defined as the main plot is development of their relationship. All other events feed or supplement it, and everything is related to that at least indirectly. Romance can have other events and even plot-lines, but solving a mystery or defeating a dark wizard is not the main plot line, but something which rather provides backdrop and material for development of their relationship.

Usually when it comes to a good structure, it is good to aim towards a certain symmetry and different parts should be at least somewhat proportional. It can be arranged by many different ways (be it a three act structure or whatever), but if the stage one is 3x longer than the stage two, well it probably won't be well received. As they read it, longer it takes to get the next thing, they'll probably expect something of similar magnitude, or at least close to it. It's quite instinctual and unconscious expectation, and usually going against something like that will not work. If you build up for a relationship for 50-75k words, people are not going to be satisfied with having only a morsel of actual relationship. In that case, it's probably better to build the entire fic in which to the goal and the end point is that they'll begin their relationship. Then possibly write a sequel, which depicts the actual relationship or dating.

That structure probably would work better, if there was some other genre along side of the romance for you to lean on (I presume angst refers more to the tone or mood, rather than the plotline. Unless you are writing something along the lines The Sorrows of Young Werther in HP universe, in which constant setbacks and suffering are pretty much the storyline). Then there's much more freedom structurally and otherwise for developing the relationship. If your fic has some other solid plotline(s) or genre to keep things interesting and moving forward. Be it coming of age, school drama, war, mystery, fantasy adventure, or anything else. That would take some pressure off from the relationship, and readers engaged in something besides that, thus they won't mind if things are sometimes on the back burner with the romance, or not exactly balanced in the end.

If you are primarily writing a romance fic, then it's better to concentrate on that fully, and provide full palette of different aspects and phases of what goes into romantic relationships. Even if it ultimately is a tragedy, or angsty. Naturally harmoniously adjusted with each other, and fitted in a complementary fashion. Each with their own ups and downs, crises and turning points. A skeleton of a relationship might look something like starting from an introduction, to attraction, then courting and wooing, then dating, then established relationship, then marriage or something similar in which relationship transitions from a private affair to a communal or public fact, then forming a permanent family like getting children, then the end like happy ever afters. (ofc, there's countless ways to categorize these, arrange them differently, split them, drop some, add some, etc, but a romance which has only couple of these, and wildly unbalanced, well it might work as a tragic and bitter sweet one, if that's what you are going for).

[precuredaily]

Precure Day 152

Episode: Yes! Precure 5 04 - “The Tranquil Cure Mint!” Date watched: 4 October 2019 Original air date: 25 February 2007 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/r27tc5L Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

Okay I’ve gone this long without talking about it, so before we continue, it’s time for THE ROAST OF KOMACHI’S HAIR

Her hair is evenly kept chin length all around her head except for a chunk in the back that reaches to her mid-back. It’s not a ponytail, it’s a thin section of her hair that is wildly longer than the rest. Now of course, anime hair is known to be absurd, but in Precure this is usually kept to their transformed states. Everybody else on the team (or eventual team) has pretty standard hairstyles: Nozomi has two small pigtails, traditional bangs, and wears the rest of her hair at shoulder length, Rin’s hair is short and curls out from the sides of her head, Urara wears long twintails, and Karen has long loose hair with neatly trimmed ends. Komachi is the standout with her absurd style. When she transforms it gets even weirder: the body of her hair poofs up and resembles Cure Bloom’s hair, while the bit in the back splits into two extremely long strands that reach her knees. This is still pretty wild but she’s on a team with a girl with hair loops and another with hair cones so she shares the weirdness among the team. I will never understand what the character designer was thinking when they came up with Komachi’s hair. Maybe there’s an interview out there where they explain it, I’d really like to know, because it is ridiculous.

Okay now that that’s out of the way, let’s actually talk about the episode....

The Plot

Rumors are starting to spread around the school about the strange phenomena that keep occurring. Karen discusses it with Komachi one morning and they find it odd that Urara has begun hanging out with Nozomi and Rin. At lunch, Coco reminds the three of them they still need to find the Precures of Tranquility and Intelligence, but they’re interrupted by Karen and Komachi confronting them about their perceived connection to all the suspicious activity. Nozomi sees an opportunity and decides to come out and explain that they’re Precures fighting Nightmare to protect the Dream Collet, and would these two like to help them? Nozomi explains how she thinks these two fit the qualifications Coco described, but they don’t really believe or understand what she’s saying, and Karen leaves in frustration. Komachi lags behind to say it was a lovely story, and she’d love to hear more sometime.

Meanwhile at Nightmare, we find out Gamao has gone MIA after failing his mission, and of course Girinma is still in isolation, so a third agent is called in to collect the Dream Collet: Arachnea. (You get one guess what kind of animal she is). She boasts about how much more capable she is than the other two, and Bunbee basically responds “I hope so.”

Back at school, Rin has soccer practice, Urara tries to find Karen at a student council meeting, and Nozomi approaches Komachi in the library and discovers her writing. Komachi admits that she has wanted to be a novelist since she was very young, but all she gets is dismissal and mockery when she tells people that. Nozomi, however, encourages her and says she’ll support her dream! After all, that’s what she does best. They go for a walk outside and Komachi inquires further about the “story” Nozomi was telling earlier about Precure. Nozomi clarifies that it wasn’t a dream and explains the whole situation, and Komachi finally believes her but admits Karen is more stubborn. Before they can continue, spider webs suddenly come out of a nearby manhole and pull them down into the sewer, where they’re confronted by Arachnea herself, demanding the Dream Collet. She creates a Kowaina out of sewer water and chases the girls, who end up at a dead end. With no other options, Nozomi transforms in front of Komachi, kicks the monster, and they run off together.

she just keeps kicking and kicking and kicking and kicking and....

At the same time, Coco has detected the presence of Nightmare and tags Rin and Urara to try to find Nozomi. They manage to follow her down the sewer and meet up with the missing girls. Rin and Urara transform in front of Komachi, and begin to fight the Kowaina. Arachnea wraps Dream and Komachi in webs and screams that they had no right to dream, that dreams are just illusions. Komachi takes this personally, and retorts that dreams are important and Nozomi is the first person to believe in and support her dream, and in turn she wants to support Nozomi’s dream as well. Her strong emotions summon a green butterfly, which disintegrates the webs binding Komachi before landing on her wrist and becoming a Pinky Catch. Not missing a beat, Komachi transforms into the Precure of Tranquility, Cure Mint! The Kowaina tries to attack them, but Mint uses her special attack, Precure Mint Protection, which is a butterfly that takes the form of a rapidly expanding shield. The monster is knocked back and Dream takes this chance to finish it off with Dream Attack, and Arachnea retreats, muttering about how she’s going to explain this to Bunbee.

The commotion in the sewer has attracted a crowd, and as Nozomi, Rin, and Urara climb out, Karen comments that she knew they were the ones stirring up trouble. Then Komachi climbs out and Karen is confused as the four girls laugh awkwardly.

The Analysis

I know I keep coming back to this but I really enjoy how the various girls are active in investigating the mysterious occurrences resulting from the clash between the Precures and Nightmare. Even if nobody else has seen the actual fights, and the battlefields magically restore themselves, the noise and commotion of the fights attracts attention, and that’s how Komachi and Karen get roped into this mess. I also like how Nozomi is like “You know what? These two might be the ones” and just spills their secret. She recognizes that they have the qualities Coco is looking for: tranquility and knowledge, and Urara and Rin actually agree with her, though Rin is also self-aware enough to realize how absurd this all sounds to an outsider, and tells the seniors “I can see why you wouldn’t believe all of this, but it’s true.” It’s funny to me how Nozomi took a meeting where the two older girls were questioning their connection to the mysterious phenomena and turned it around on them into trying to make friends with them and have them join the Precures. She flipped the school hierarchy and power dynamic on its head, because she’s the pink. Also she’s that perfect combination of confident and airheaded that she can just go for it. I don’t mean this to sound bad, I honestly love Nozomi’s brand of earnestness and her sincere interest in helping other people achieve their dreams. Without getting too ahead of myself, she’s a lot more balanced than some other pink cures down the road.

Speaking of dreams, this is where we really get a look at what Komachi likes to do in her spare time. We might have seen her writing in the first episode but this is the first one to focus on it, and show how she’s a little embarrassed to show people her work because she’s had too many bad experiences with people mocking her. Nozomi’s earnest support of her dream to become a writer is encouraging, and we’ll definitely see her grow and develop her writing skills throughout the show. It’s one of the more memorable character arcs in the show.

An interesting facet of Cure Mint is that she is primarily defense-based rather than being offensive like the other cures so far. Her special attack is a shield, and we’ll see several cures in the franchise who mirror this ability, but while it can be a useful skill and is demonstrably strong in the right circumstances, it feels a little too drawn out most of the time. I guess I’m okay with the whole stock footage chant to perform an attack, but doing the same to summon a shield when the danger is IMMINENT seems wasteful when we know they can jump out of the way. If she had a quick shield she could pull out with less fanfare and used the special attack shield to defend from wide-range attacks or to buy time while her teammates set up their attacks, I’d like it more. Mint Protection does get some time to shine down the road, but far too often it feels superfluous. Maybe that’s heathenous for me to say in a show about teamwork and everybody having a role to play.

I’ll use this opportunity to briefly discuss the Kowaina since i haven’t properly done so before. Unlike Zakenna and Uzainaa before them, Kowaina are a bit more supernatural. The enemy of the week pulls out a full-face mask with a pointy nose and a creepy blank smile, then they throw it on an object, bringing it to life in a mutated form with the mask serving as the face. Also, they speak with a female voice rather than the brutish male voice of the previous shows’ monsters, and they always sound more creepy and spooky. It really adds to the mood and sets this series apart from its predecessors. The next episode will show us that the masks work on sentient creatures, not just inanimate objects, and that will bring some interesting implications.

On the topic of the villains, Arachnea is probably my favorite general from this series. She has the best design as a monster, she’s very serious and largely effective. Sure, she has to lose because plot, but her abilities give the team a run for their money. I’m not sure what she thought she’d gain by luring the girls into the sewer that she couldn’t do above ground, perhaps she thought she could limit their movement? It’s not that well-explained. However, that hiccup aside, I really enjoy her as a villain. Girinma is a close second but he often winds up as the butt monkey of Bunbee’s schemes, which is unfortunate.

Now, this episode has several instances of animation that is best described as..... questionable. Actually, it’s not just this episode, it’s been prevalent all along, but I haven’t had time to bring it up before, and it’s prevalent enough here that I needed to discuss it. The models used for the characters for mid-range and far range shots are not awful, but their features and proportions are a bit distorted. Their faces in particular have eyes that are the wrong shape, which really stands out, and these shots are long enough that even if you’re not the most observant, you’ll realize they look off.

For further out shots, we get the added bonus of noodle limbs.

It’s not a great look, but at this point, we’re used to so-so animation in Precure.

I’ll try to talk about the music in the next one, because the audio design of YPC5 is fun and well enough removed from its predecessors. Look forward to that and more. Next time, on Precure Daily, a false start!

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 2 Kettei!

[douchebagbrainwaves]

YOU GUYS I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS

I guarantee you'll be surprised by the consequences of the licensing deal for DOS, just as it's easier to get people to remember just one quote about programming, it would be more interested in an essay about why something isn't the problem, even though you know that free with just two exclamation points has a probability of. Then when you reach for the sledgehammer; if their kids won't listen to them, because you can, to a limited extent, simulate a closure a function that takes a number n, and returns a function that refers to variables defined in enclosing scopes by defining a class with one method and a field to replace each variable from an enclosing scope.1 The US Is Not Yet a Police State. Better Judgement Needed If the number of users and the problem is usually artificial and predetermined. There are two main kinds of error that get in the way you'd expect any subculture to be, in certain specific moments like your family, this month a fixed amount you need to simplify and clarify, and the threat to potential investors and they hope this will make it big is not simply to give them at least 20 years, and then at each point the way such a project would play out? You could do it than literally making a mark on the world.2 I'll come running.3 They make such great CEOs. First of all, for the most part they punt. For all its power, Silicon Valley is that you get discouraged when no one else at the time.

But there is also huge source of implicit tags that they ignore: the text within web links.4 It was more prestigious to be one of those things until you strike something. Both self-control and experience have this effect: to eliminate the random biases that come from your own circumstances, and tricks played by the artist.5 It's very common for startups to exist.6 But even in the mating dance, patents are part of the mob, stand as far away from it myself; I see it there on the page and quickly move on to the next step, whatever that is. Meanwhile the iPhone is selling better than ever. 4 million is starting to appear in the mainstream media came from. People's best friends are likely to be careful here to distinguish between them. If you have multiple founders, esprit de corps binds them together in one place for a certain percentage of your startup. There is more to be actively curious. Most CEOs delegate taste to a subordinate.7 The closest thing seemed to be synonymous with quiet, so I won't repeat it all here.

The nature of the application domain.8 Mean People Fail November 2014 It struck me recently how few of the startups we fund. Angels don't like publicity.9 That can be useful when it's a crappy version one made by a company called Y Combinator that said Y Combinator does seed funding for startups is way less than the measurement error. But there is no argument about that—at least in computational bottlenecks. And in the film industry, though producers may second-guess directors, the director controls most of what is now called VoIP, and it will take off. Instead of bubbling up from the bottom, by overpaying unions, the traditional news media, and the techniques I used may be applicable to ideas in general.10 If someone proves a new theorem, it takes some work by the reader to decide whether or not to upvote it. But because patent trolls don't make anything physical.11

They work well enough in everyday life.12 This site isn't lame. It's all evasion.13 A comparatively safe and prosperous career with some automatic baseline prestige is dangerously tempting to someone young, who hasn't thought much about it, and the path to intelligence through carefully selected self-indulgence by mimicking more virtuous types. Spend little. Someone like Bill Gates? In the last 20 years, grown into a monstrosity. I'm not writing here about Java which I have never seen any of ITA's code, but according to one of the causes of the increase in disagreement, there's a good chance the person at the next table could help you at all. Also, startups are an all-star team. I can solve that problem by stopping entirely. Wouldn't it start to seem lame?

It would be a good idea.14 I read most things I write out loud at least once a week, cooked for the first couple generations.15 I'm not saying it's correct, incidentally, but it happens surprisingly rarely. I've learned about VC while working on it for a couple years for another company for two years. The word boss is derived from a talk at Oscon 2004.16 I assumed I'd learn what in college.17 But also it will tell you to spend too much. The problem is not the one that is. Inexperienced angels often get cold feet.18

Even more important than others? File://localhost/home/patrick/Documents/programming/python projects/UlyssesRedux/corpora/unsorted/schlep. But after a while I learned the trick of speaking fast.19 Why wouldn't young professionals make lots of new things I want to reach users, you need colleagues to brainstorm with, to talk you out of stupid decisions, and to analyze based on what a few people think in our insular little Web 2.20 Fortunately if this does happen it will take a big bite out of your round. What difference did it make if other manufacturers could offer DOS too? One of the things I had to condense the power of compound growth. Then they're mystified to find that there are degrees of coolness. It requires the kind of intensity and dedication from programmers that they will always be made to develop new technologies at a slower rate than the rest, and the second is whatever specific lies Xes differentiate themselves by believing. This bites you twice: they get less done, but they need more help because life is so precarious for them. Unless they've tried not taking board seats and found their returns are lower, they're not drifting.

Programmers don't use launch-fast-and-so is an animal.21 But it is very hard for someone who publishes online.22 Not because starting one's own company seemed too ambitious, but because it didn't look like a car spinning its wheels. It's hard for them to change. Experts have given Wikipedia middling reviews, but they weren't going to wait. Wufoo seem to have any teeth, and the useful half is the payload. This is arguably a permissible tactic.

Most books on startups also seem to be joined together, but really the thesis is an optimistic one—that everyone should go and start a startup during college, but it was simpler than they thought. I do in proper essays. Because they personally liked it. Game We saw this happen so often that we made up a name for what I learned from this experiment is that if VCs are only doing it in the plainest words and you'll be free again.23 That's the worst thing about our software. Now the results seem inspired by the Scientologist principle that what's true is what's true for you. Also, the money might come in several tranches, the later ones subject to various conditions—though this is apparently more common in deals with lower-tier investors sometimes give offers with very short fuses, because they get their ideas? If you do that you raise too many expectations. There's no reason to believe there is any field in which the most efficient solutions win, rather than working on the company to become valuable, and you don't have significant success to cheer you up when things go wrong.24

Notes

That's a good nerd, just that if the statistics they use; if anything they could to help you even be tempted to do is adjust the weights till the 1920s to financing growth with the other hand, launching something small and traditional proprietors on the admissions committee knows the professors who wrote the recommendations. If you're doing. There were a property of the world will sooner or later.

And yet I think it's publication that makes curators and dealers use neutral-sounding language. Google and Facebook are driven by money, then you're being gratuitously troublesome. We walked with him for the next round.

People were more dependent on banks for capital for expansion.

That's not a remark about the idea upon have different time quanta. Since the remaining power of Democractic party machines, but since it was 10. The chief lit a cigarette.

Without the prospect of publication, the average Edwardian might well guess wrong.

In fact, for example I've deliberately avoided saying whether the 25 people have responded to this talk, so that you can't help associating it with the founders' salaries to the prevalence of systems of seniority. Moving large amounts of new stock. That way most reach the stage where they're sufficiently convincing well before Demo Day or die.

This form of religious wars or undergraduate textbooks so determinedly neutral that they're really saying is they want to learn.

This is an interesting sort of dress rehearsal for the first 40 employees, with the issues they have that glazed over look.

According to Sports Illustrated, the first duty of the anti-dilution protections.

Currently we do at least seem to understand technology because they could not process it.

Doing a rolling close usually prevents this. The liking you have to replace you. Convertible debt is usually slow growth or excessive spending rather than given by other people.

Investors are fine with funding nerds. Cascading menus would also be argued that we wouldn't have the concept of the war, federal tax receipts have stayed close to the inane questions of the Fabian Society, it often means the startup will be, unchanging, but Joshua Schachter tells me it was wiser for them by the National Center for Education Statistics, the activation energy to start with consumer electronics and to run an online service. Seeming like they worked together mostly at night.

Instead of making n constant, it is. I started using it out of their due diligence tends to happen fast, like good scientists, motivated less by financial rewards than by you based on respect for their judgement. If you're sufficiently good bet, why not turn your company into one? Which explains the astonished stories one always hears about VC while working on such an interview.

Com/spam. So if you're a YC startup you can do it to colleagues. Doh.

That's the difference between good and bad measurers. I get the money, then their incentives aren't aligned with some question-begging answer like it's inappropriate, while she likes getting attention in the nature of server-based applications, and how unbelievably annoying it is. That's probably too much to hope for, but they can't teach students how to deal with the other direction Y Combinator.

The downside is that there's more of the expert they send to look you over.

If he's bad at it he'll work very hard to pick a date, because the median case.

They're motivated by examples of how hard they work. They're so selective that they won't be able to hire a lot of people like them—people who have money to spend a lot of classic abstract expressionism is doodling of this type: lies told by older siblings. But no planes crash if your goal is to make money from the Ordinatio of Duns Scotus: Philosophical Writings, Nelson, 1963, p. Structurally the idea that they probably wouldn't be irrational.

They thought most programming would be to say for sure whether, e. Travel has the same investor to do it to them, but investors can get done before that. To get all that matters, just as he or she would be on demand, because universities are where a lot of startups will generally raise large amounts of our own, like a wave. So as a naturalist.

It's interesting to consider behaving the opposite. Which in turn forces Digg to respond with extreme countermeasures.

Maybe that isn't really working bad unit economics, typically and then being unable to raise money, you can base brand on anything with a slight disadvantage, but historical abuses are easier for us, they are bleeding cash really fast. Though in fact it may be underestimating VCs. 25. And I've never heard of many startups from Philadelphia.

For example, understanding French will help dispel the cloud of semi-sacred mystery that surrounds a hot startup. Those investors probably thought they'd been pretty clever by getting such a dangerous mistake to believe that successful founders still get rich will use this technique, you'll be well on your product, just harder.

Common Lisp for, but those are probably not do this right you'd have reached after lots of back and forth. This is isomorphic to the company's PR people worked hard to get a real partner. In fact since 2 1.

I'm not saying that's all prep schools is to give them sufficient activation energy for enterprise software.

[bdfanfic]

Oak in Grey Hollow - 1

Chapter 1 - Enchanter For Hire!

He was an odd man, even for an Argonian. That much was certain - save for the ‘man’ part. Argonians were weird. She assumed he was male, but in the two months she had been travelling with him, she still wasn’t 100% sure. Things had transpired… weird things… that left her very confused as to that. Still, as a beggar quite literally, she hadn’t been in a situation to be choosy when they’d first met - and frankly, she didn’t really care. As the cart bounced and bumped along the road, she looked at Hollow and thought back to when they’d first met…

--------------------------

She had managed to stave off the more obvious but distasteful employment opportunities in the Imperial City only by cleverness and pure luck. Growing up on the streets, she’d gotten pretty good at scavenging. Now that she was maturing, however, things were tougher. Handouts to a street urchin were one thing, but those were harder to come by as she grew. Such offerings often came with favors. Favors that thus far she’d managed to refuse or elude.

However, she had finally been forced to try her hand at robbery, and that had been her undoing. It wasn’t that she was unsuccessful - far from it. She had managed to purloin quite an impressive collection of silverware that fetched a good price with a somewhat shady dealer she knew. However, too late she discovered that the house had been protected by the Thieves’ Guild, and it took the Guild little time to uncover her identity.

From a friend, she had fortunately discovered that she had been revealed to the Guild before they’d actually caught up with her - but that left her with only one choice: flight. She’d had no time to prepare, and hastily set out for Leyawiin as the most distant city still within Cyrodiil, catching the first caravan out of town immediately.

Leyawiin had turned out to be even less than hospitable to her, however, and her prospects there rapidly diminished as her funds ran short. Her own sense of self-respect kept her out of the taverns and brothels that seemed increasingly to be her only prospective source of employment.

It was in a dark mood that she now sat alone, fishing for her next meal at a small lake some distance from the city walls. A mile distant she saw a farmer toiling at his field, and she found herself envying the man. Backbreaking and meager as that occupation may be, at least he knew where his next meal was coming from.

She had kept her hair cut short and unkempt, and had kept her figure under wraps - often passing herself off as a boy to avoid unwanted advances. So far it had worked, but increasingly nature was making it more and more difficult to maintain the ruse. Tears began to well up as her thoughts of the future went from dark to black, and she wondered if suicide would actually be worse than following the only path she saw open to her. She cursed the mother and father she’d never known for bringing her into this world with no talents whatsoever.

Then she heard singing. It was so out of place here that it seemed to be magical, even if the words were foreign and unintelligible. Jel, undoubtedly. Yet they were sweetly sung and the melody was enchanting. She looked around for the source as it slowly became louder. The creaking of wheels accompanied it, and she left her makeshift fishing pole on the ground as she crept through the grass towards the road.

A covered cart was there, slowly creaking down the road, rolling away from the city with a sole Argonian swaying to the mismatched wobble of it’s wheels.  She was strangely drawn towards this odd character, with his wide-brimmed hat and long cloak left conspicuously open. But it was his eyes that really drew her own. They were black, but with the most enthralling blue sclera, recalling perhaps the ocean itself.  She’d never seen anything like them, and she had certainly met many Argonians, being so close to the Black Marsh.  

Suddenly he stopped, reigning in the old grey mare that drew his cart. She ducked low as his head swiveled towards her, though he didn’t stop his singing until he had finished the verse.

“Ah! A young woman, Anabelle! We have a guest! Come, don’t be shy. Come out from the grass there. You are no snake to crawl on your belly. Come, I am Oak in Grey Hollow! Traveling Enchanter and Mage Extraordinaire, purveyor of fine magical potions, goods and enchantments of all sorts. Known across Tamriel by the finer establishments! Perhaps you are in need of some magetallow candles? They are my specialty! Oh, come. I know you’re there, Miss. Hiding is rude and you are no brigand.”

She raised her head above the grass hesitantly.

“There you are! Come! My hat tells me you are in need of my services.  Oh yes, I can help.  But please, what is your name, Miss? I must know something of you, in order to best assist. Come and tell me, what can the great Oak in Grey Hollow do for you?!”

She stood, brushing the grass from herself. The Argonian brought a smile to her lips somehow, an expression that felt out of place. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d smiled. But his own enthusiasm was infectious.

“Oh, sir, I’m just a beggar. I’ve nothing to pay you with.”

The Argonian squinted his eyes at her. “Oh, I see. Well… alas, that is a problem. Payment up front. Sorry, company policy. Can’t break policy, no.”

Her spirits faded as he confirmed her expectations. But he had not resumed his ride. He sat looking at her, as if thinking deeply.

“Wait a moment,” he said. “I’m getting an idea…”

She approached the cart, reading the badly faded painted words on the side: “Oak in Grey Hollow - Enchanter for Hire!”

“I’ve got it! My candle has come through yet again!” he said, and removed his hat and revealing the most marvelous thing. A candle sat perched atop his head, apparently firmly affixed by the melted wax that had flowed from it’s still-burning wick. His hand reflexively went towards it’s tip as if in a instinctive gesture.  

“Ah yes, still alight! It’s my Idea Candle, you know! Gives me great ideas!  Also helps with the hat’s enchantment, you know…  Magetallow.  Say, do you need any magetallow candles? I’ve got heaps in the back. LOADS of em!”

“Um… no. Sorry Sir.”

“Oh, no. Call me Oak. Or Hollow. No ‘Sir’s here! Not among the staff. Oh no, we have a relaxed policy here in the company. Management and Labor are united, you see? You’re not going to stage a strike, are you?”

She stood open-mouthed, more confused than ever.

“No? Good. Well then, hop aboard and I’ll tell you your duties.  Come on, come on up…”

“What?”

“Ah… I see. So that’s how it is… Holding out for more pay. No, no… I understand.  It’s just business. Okay, if you insist. The hat is never wrong. Okay, but only 20% more, and that’s my final offer!  Take it or leave it.”

“Twenty percent of what?”

“Why, your base salary of course! I can do no more than that! Please, I’m not made of money! I knew someone that was made of money once, but that ended badly for him. But I’m not him. Really, any more and I’d ruin myself! Please take the offer?”

“Um… what’s my ‘base salary’?” she said, but found herself crossing to the other side of the cart and smiling. The guy was obviously insane, and yet he seemed harmless enough. Maybe she could get a free meal out of him at least.

“Why, zero of course.  Okay, 25% more, but that’s it! Either stay down there or sit here beside me and take the job. What’ll it be?”

She didn’t hesitate. She had no other prospects. She climbed up and sat beside the insane Argonian.

“Ah, you drive a hard bargain! But a deal’s a deal. Now, let me tell you about the job…”

----------------------------------------------------

She smiled now, months later, recalling that day. The insane enchanter and the beggar - what a match!

----------------------------------------------------

“Up Anabelle!” called the enchanter as he whipped the reigns, and the cart started off again. Now perched on the seat beside Hollow, she had to hold on with one hand as the cart jogged back and forth.

“As you may have surmised, I travel these lands now, bringing joy and happiness through the power of enchantment to both great and humble here in Cyrodiil. But I could use an assistant, especially one of your beauty and talent.”

She looked down at herself and laughed. She probably should have taken a bath back at that lake. She stank. But he was continuing.

“I am - you may not have noticed - an Argonian. However, through circumstances too tragic to relate, I have come to Cyrodiil, which I find is peopled greatly by your own kind. Now, even as attractive as I am, it seems there are some locals who are somewhat off-put by my native race. Hard to believe, but it’s true. Why, just a few days ago, I was escorted most unceremoniously from my temporary residence outside a local village with the most rude epithets I’d never expect to hear from those whom I’d brought such joy and happiness to! Yet, there it is. Open racism can sometimes run rampant in the backwaters of even such civilized realms as Cyrodiil.”

“I can’t believe it,” she said, getting into the spirit of the moment.

“Oh, I know! But that’s where you come in, Miss.  Oh, say, did you ever tell me your name?”

“I have lots of names, Mr. Hollow. Never really knew my real name. Orphaned.”

“Just ‘Hollow’ please. Mr. Hollow was my father. Not really though. Orphaned you say? I’m an orphan too, did you know? But the world is my mother and the sky is my father. Between the two, I was nursed and raised.  Still, you must have a name. Do you want me to choose one?”

She smiled. She’d never much liked any of the names she’d chosen for long. She kept changing them. Her foster parents had named her Colena. She hated it worst of all.

“Oh, yes, please.  You make up a name for me!” she said eagerly, and meant it.

“Hmm,” he said, removing his hat. “Is my candle still burning?”

She looked at the glowing wick and nodded as he put the hat back on.

“Good. My best ideas come from my candle. Then ‘Mira’. I shall call you Mira.”

“Mira? What does that mean?”

“Hell if I know. I just like the sound.”

She considered it, and decided she liked the sound of it too.

“Then Mira it is,” she said happily. “Now, about this job…”

“Oh,” Hollow said, recalling his earlier train of thought. “Well, yours shall be the pacifying influence of a beautiful woman. You will display yourself prominently as my assistant. That should help alleviate the more racist tendencies of our potential customers, don’t you think?”

Mira scoffed, “Beautiful woman? Hollow, you’re Argonian and maybe not such a good judge of human female beauty.”

Hollow turned to her, his head cocked to one side and looked her up and down.

“You think not? Well, perhaps you are right. I do have some things that may help with that though. But that’s for later. For now, how’s your singing? Do you know any Jel?”

“Singing? Jel?”

“Ah.  Well, let me teach you a song. Best way to learn Jel. A musical language, even if your throat isn’t really built for it.”

“I… might be able to sing better, if perhaps I could get a bite to eat first?” she suggested hesitantly.

“Oh my! Oh dear! Certainly! One moment!” he said, handing her the reins as he fumbled for a pack underneath the seat.

“Hollow! I’ve never driven a horse before!” she protested, eyes widening in fear. As if sensing it, the horse turned back to her and seemed to give her a menacing look, but Anabelle kept on plodding along anyway.

“Just hold onto the reins, girl. Now do let me look. I know I left it… Ah! Here it is. Now, let’s see what I have here…  Apple? I have carrots too.”

She nodded happily, though she was too scared to take her eyes off the horse for fear it might bolt at any moment.

“Very good. I keep them for Anabelle, but I don’t think she’d mind sharing with you.”

She looked at him with menace that he apparently didn’t catch, but he took the reins back - and she took the apple.

An hour later, she was sated and happily singing along with Hollow. She found that, though she still didn’t understand a word she was singing, she did have a talent for harmony which Hollow praised with enthusiasm. The day fell into evening as the two whiled away the afternoon and Hollow taught her a variety of songs. Finally he pulled the old cart off the road and into a glade out of sight of the road.

She realized as they got down from the cart that, though she’d no earthly idea what the future held, she had never been happier in her life.

[mws7x70]

mirror, mirror, hanging on the wall.

I have often struggled with what I see in the mirror. my weight has fluctuated over the years, and I often look back at older pictures of myself and feel envy of my former self. but then I learn to appreciate where I’m at, and I still decide that I like what I see generally speaking. mirrors are fascinating to me. so is the subject of identity. one of my favorite books as a child to me was Alice in Wonderland and Alice Through the Looking glass.

in Alice Through The Looking Glass, Alice steps through a mirror into another world where she encounters Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee, Humpty Dumpty, the Red Queen, the White Queen, a Lion and a Unicorn, the White Knight, and other colorful characters, many from previous nursery stories, or so I’ve been told. she also encounters a large chess board, travels across Wonderland as a Pawn, and finally becomes a Queen herself before returning home. something about all this seems figurative to me. doesn’t it mean that stepping into a mirror is like stepping into your psyche, examining your interior self? coming close to discovering your identity? doesn't it seem that we are all on some kind of massive chess board of identity map discovery that involves upgrades and promotions? is it deliberate that all this self discovery happens to Alice inside a mirror? the psychological implications of Alice’s story alone amaze me, but the subject of identity is not just a psychological subject but also carries spiritual meaning. the Bible also contains a couple of mirror passages that I enjoy.

the Apostle Paul, for example, speaking on the concept of love, said, famously, “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” (1 Corinthians 13:12).

in this passage Paul compared our limited knowledge to a mirror, and pointed to the future as containing more than what a dim mirror can show. he described knowledge that can be obtained fully versus knowledge that is limited, like a full face to face friendship versus a two dimensional image. this verse points to something going on in the soul that transcends the two dimensional space, similar to Alice’s breaking through the mirror, or trascending the mirror iself. to put it in blunt spiritual terms, this imagery I think symbolizes (perhaps prophetically, even, from Lewis Carroll) the pursuing of greater revelation (perhaps from God, but also self-revelation or self-discovery) all of which involves themes of breaking barriers, going after your dreams, going through something difficult or seemingly impossible, going into something fearful or challenging, discovering something new and deeper about yourself - finally ending in a fuller revelation or complete understanding of something that surpasses the prior inferior revelation. so in Alice in Wonderland it begins with the question of her youth, “when will I be old enough to have tea with the rest?” and later after her adventures are over (including the Looking Glass) and she has already lived through so much and been pronounced Queen in Wonderland, it ends with the idea that “yes, I am old enough for tea” now. to take the topic of you looking at your body in the mirror and being unhappy with what you see, it’s asking yourself, “do I still have value even though I look this way?”, “do I have just as much value as if I looked a different or better way”, “what is a better way?”, “what can I do to get there but also accept who I am today?”. the Bible also says:

"For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does." (James 1:25-26).

this Scripture more explicitly compares the word of God to being like a mirror, or a window into your self, your identity. the text is supposed to reveal to you more of who you are. the Bible has references that can be taken to mean that we are His beloved (Romans 1:7), that there is no flaw in us (Song of Solomon 4:7), that we have a destiny to be “without spot or wrinkle” (Ephesians 5:27), that we are “holy in his sight, without blemish, free from accusation” (Colossians 1:22) and many other similar passages. but like Paul’s dim mirror analogy, we can also be too easily pleased or content with a two dimensional determination of the Bible’s text, instead of investigating further. we can choose to settle for inferior revelation. we can read things at face value, just like we do our bodies sometimes looking in the mirror, and we only see the negative, such as passages about hell or sin; or, in terms of our bodies, blemishes and weight and wrinkles. and we can internalize shame-based conclusions too easily, both with our bodies and our understanding of our Bibles. this doesn’t mean the Bible is bad or uninspired. the Bible is inspired, but our interpretation may not be. we must learn to go beyond our limited thinking, to go beyond our first impressions of what we see in the mirror, go through the proverbial mirror, and see what’s inside the text, around the text, through the text, what the Spirit of the text is, and decide how to view the text more Grace-fully. just like we look at our physical reflection and we see both our image and the noise in our heads about our image, we need to remember that Christ in us helps us with the noise. He is the source of our discernment, not our agreement or compliance or acceptance of a face value and possibly inferior or mistaken or ill-advised interpretation of the text. God is love. love transcends all dimensions and breaks all barriers. forgiveness itself is a permittance of past sins, a letting go of blame and condemnation. this blog covers a lot of overlapping topics and is a hodge podge of ideas around the subject of mirrors and identity. think of it as a visit through the rabbit hole of my mind. I think my favorite topic here is that I happen to believe that fifth dimensional love, love that is outside our dimension, otherwise known as the Spirit, is the best filter to wear when you read the Bible or the word of God. the Spirit of love and the permission of grace helps you discern what’s good, beneficial, or unbeneficial about what you think you’re reading. it helps you eat the meat and spit out the bones. that brings me to my last reference:

"I have become its servant by the commission God gave me to present to you the word of God in its fullness— the mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but is now disclosed to the Lord’s people. To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory." - (Colossians 1:27).

so the journey of stepping into the mirror of our identity leads us to the happy conclusion that Christ is right there inside of us, composing a narrative on our soul, a personal gospel, that is woven with our hearts, the text of Scripture, His heart, our journey, our story, along with the harmony of the Spirit and the melody of love. the Spirit speaks through the text, as the text is inspired, but is not bound by it. “the letter kills, but the Spirit brings life,” as 2 Corinthians 3:6 says. and the potential “dimness” of Scripture can be solved or helped by the presence of this love abiding inside of us, which is Christ himself. and if Christ is a mirror to ourselves, and Scripture is also a mirror, then we can properly interpret the mirror of Scripture through the lens of who Christ is inside each of us, using both subjective and objective methods at times. we all have a personal gospel - a personal Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John story that differs at stages with each other. with this knowledge we can accept how the Spirit shows us who we are in the text. this is all a long, overly-detailed description of the search for true identity. the “interior castle,”

as St. Teresa of Avila would have called it, of the soul or human heart. we are all traveling through the mercies of the Wonderland of our hearts, subject to its whims and ebbs and flows, sometimes meeting nice pleasant thoughts, other times meeting scary or dangerous thoughts. we are searching for completeness within our circumstances or surroundings or struggles until we finally discover who we are. and we are learning that we too are able to be promoted to be kings and queens of a personal castle within the mirror of the heart. so now when I look in the mirror - yes, I am beginning to like what I see. and to the famous question that Snow White’s stepmother asked, “mirror mirror, hanging on the wall, could you tell me who is the fairest of them all?” I might soon with confidence be able to say, “I am.” why? not because I am so special, though I believe I am. it’s because Christ in me is “fairer than the sons of men.”(Psalm 45:2).

[blackkudos]

Fredi Washington

Fredericka Carolyn (Fredi) Washington (December 23, 1903 – June 28, 1994) was an accomplished African-American dramatic film actress, one of the first to gain recognition for her work in film and on stage. She was active during the period known as the Harlem Renaissance (1920s-1930s). She is best known for her role as "Peola" in the 1934 version of the film Imitation Life, in which she plays a young light-skinned black woman who decides to pass as white. Her last film role was in One Mile from Heaven (1937), after which she left Hollywood and returned to New York to work in theatre and civil rights.

Early life and education

Fredi Washington was born in 1903 in Savannah, Georgia to Robert T. Washington, a postal worker, and Harriet Walker Ward, a former dancer. Both were of African-American and European ancestry. Fredi was the second of their five children. Her mother, Hattie, died when Fredi was eleven years old. As the oldest girl in her family, Fredi helped raise her younger siblings, Isabel, Rosebud and Robert, with the help of their grandmother, whom the family called "Big Mama." After their mother's death, Fredi was sent to the St. Elizabeth's Convent School for colored girls in Cornwells Heights, near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Her sister, Isabel, soon followed her. At some point her father, Robert T. Washington, remarried. His second wife died while pregnant. He later married a third time and had four children with his last wife. Fredi had a total of eight siblings from her father's two families.

While Fredi was still in school in Philadelphia, her family moved North to Harlem, New York in the Great Migration for work and opportunity in the industrial North. Fredi followed her family to Harlem, where she graduated from Julia Richman High School in New York City.

Early career

Fredi's performing career began in 1921, when she got a chance to work in New York City, where she was living with her grandmother and aunt. She was a chorus girl in the hit Broadway musical Shuffle Along. She was hired by dancer Josephine Baker as a member of the "Happy Honeysuckles," a cabaret group. Baker also became a friend and mentor to her. Washington's friendship with Baker, as well as her talent as a performer, led to her being discovered by producer Lee Shubert. In 1926, Washington was recommended for a co-starring role on the Broadway stage with Paul Robeson in Black Boy. She was very attractive, as well as a talented entertainer, and she easily moved up to become a popular featured dancer. She toured internationally with her dancing partner Al Moiret; they were especially popular in London.

Later career

Fredi Washington turned to acting in the late 1920s. Her first movie role was in Black and Tan (1929), in which she played a dancer who was dying. She also had a small part in The Emperor Jones (1933), based on a play by Eugene O'Neill and starring Paul Robeson.

Her best-known role was in the 1934 movie Imitation of Life; Washington played a young mulatto who chose to pass as white to seek more opportunities in a society restricted by legal racial segregation in some states and social discrimination in others. As Washington had visible European ancestry, the role was considered perfect for her, but it led to her being typecast by filmmakers. Moviegoers sometimes assumed from Washington's appearance–her blue-gray eyes, pale complexion, and light brown hair–that she might have passed in real life. In 1934 she said the role did not reflect her off-screen life, but "If I made Peola seem real enough to merit such statements, I consider such statements compliments and makes me feel I've done my job fairly well." She told reporters in 1949 she identified as black "Because I'm honest, firstly, and secondly, you don't have to be white to be good. I've spent most of my life trying to prove to those who think otherwise ... I am a Negro and I am proud of it."

Imitation of Life was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Picture, but it did not win. Years later, in 2007, Time magazine ranked it as among "The 25 Most Important Films on Race". She also appeared in the 1939 film Mamba's Daughters, along with popular singer Ethel Waters. In an effort to help other black actors and actresses to find more opportunities, she founded the Negro Actors Guild in 1937; the organization's mission included speaking out against stereotyping and advocating for a wider range of roles. Washington served as the organization's first executive secretary.

Despite receiving critical acclaim, she was unable to find much work in the Hollywood of the 1930s and 1940s. On the one hand, black actresses were expected to have dark skin, and were usually typecast as maids. On the other hand, directors were concerned about casting a light-skinned black actress in a romantic role with a white leading man; the film production code prohibited suggestions of miscegenation, so Hollywood directors did not offer her any romantic roles. As one modern critic explained, Fredi Washington was "too beautiful and not dark enough to play maids, but rather too light to act in all-black movies." She also tried to find work in radio, where most opportunities for black performers were as musicians in bands, or as comedic sidekicks, such as Eddie "Rochester" Anderson, in his role as Jack Benny's valet.

Washington had an important dramatic role in a 1943 radio tribute to black women, Heroines in Bronze, produced by the National Urban League. But there were few regular dramatic programs in that era with black protagonists. Washington wrote an opinion piece for the black press in which she discussed how limited the opportunities in broadcasting were for black actors, actresses, and vocalists, saying that "radio seems to keep its doors sealed" against "colored artists."

In 1945 she said:

"You see I'm a mighty proud gal and I can't for the life of me, find any valid reason why anyone should lie about their origin or anything else for that matter. Frankly, I do not ascribe to the stupid theory of white supremacy and to try to hide the fact that I am a Negro for economic or any other reasons, if I do I would be agreeing to be a Negro makes me inferior and that I have swallowed whole hog all of the propaganda dished out by our fascist-minded white citizens."

She played opposite Bill Robinson in Fox's One Mile from Heaven (1937), in which she played a mulatto claiming to be the mother of a "white" baby. Claire Trevor plays a reporter who discovers the story and helps both Washington and the white biological mother who had given up the baby, played by Sally Blane. According to the Museum of Modern Art in 2013: "The last of the six Claire Trevor 'snappy' vehicles [Allan] Dwan made for Fox in the 1930s tests the limits of free expression on race in Hollywood while sometimes straining credulity."

Washington was also a theatre writer. She was the Entertainment Editor for People's Voice, a newspaper for African Americans founded by Adam Clayton Powell, Jr., a Baptist minister and politician in New York City. For a time he was married to her sister Isabel Washington. It was published 1942-1948. She was outspoken about racism faced by African Americans. She worked closely with Walter White, then president of the NAACP, to address pressing issues facing black people in America. Her experiences in the film industry and theatre led her to become a civil rights activist. Together with Noble Sissle, W.C. Handy and Dick Campbell, in 1937 Washington was a founding member with Alan Corelli of the Negro Actors Guild of America (NAG) in New York.

In 1953, she was a film casting consultant for Carmen Jones, which starred Dorothy Dandridge, another pioneering African-American actress. She also consulted on casting for George Gershwin's Porgy and Bess, an opera performed in revival on Broadway in 1952, and filmed in 1959.

Marriage and family

Washington dated Duke Ellington for a while but, realizing he was not going to marry her, she started another relationship. She married Lawrence Brown, the trombonist in Ellington's jazz orchestra, a relationship which ended in divorce.

Washington later married Anthony H. Bell, a dentist. Bell died in the 1980s. Washington died after a series of strokes on June 28, 1994 in Stamford, Connecticut, aged 90. According to her sister, Isabel, Fredi never had children. One of Washington's sisters, Isabel Washington (May 23, 1909 – May 1, 2008), was a singer and nightclub performer. She married Adam Clayton Powell, Jr., the first African American elected to Congress from New York state. They later divorced. At her death, Washington was survived by her sisters Isabel Washington, Rosebud Smith and Gertrude Penna, and a brother, Floyd Washington.

On "passing"

Throughout her life, Washington was often asked if she ever wanted to "pass" for white. Washington, a proud black woman, answered conclusively, "No." She said this repeatedly, "I don't want to pass because I can't stand insincerities and shams. I am just as much Negro as any of the others identified with the race."

"I have never tried to pass for white and never had any desire, I am proud of my race. In 'Imitation of Life', I was showing how a girl might feel under the circumstances but I am not showing how I felt."

"I am an American citizen and by God, we all have inalienable rights and wherever those rights are tampered with, there is nothing left to do but fight...and I fight. How many people do you think there are in this country who do not have mixed blood, there's very few if any, what makes us who we are, are our culture and experience. No matter how white I look, on the inside I feel black. There are many whites who are mixed blood, but still go by white, why such a big deal if I go as Negro, because people can't believe that I am proud to be a Negro and not white. To prove I don't buy white superiority I chose to be a Negro."

Legacy and honors

1975, she was inducted into the Black Filmmakers Hall of Fame.

Wikipedia

[cumbersomelift]

Fire and Brimstone

A few years ago, a close friend of mine came out to their parents as a non-Christian. Distressed by their child's infidelity, they said that if they had known this would happen then they would have never had kids in the first place. In effect, things would have been better if they were never born. 

That’s a cruel thing to say to a child, but it’s also refreshingly honest. I think if more of us took the fundamentalist doctrine of hell seriously, then conversations like this would be more common. These feelings might surface for others. Fundamentalism of any kind can create the circumstances that lead kind and gentle people say remarkably harsh things. 

Damnation complicates interfaith relationships because it raises the stakes in a way that's rarely acknowledged. For me, it also dredges up a series of experiences I had as a child preoccupied with the fear of hell. I've since discovered that this is not uncommon. So before I talk about the doctrine as a barrier to relationships, I wanted to share a few experiences of why I see efforts to internalize the doctrine of hell in children as emotionally manipulative at best and abusive at worst.

Growing Up Damned

Growing up in a fundamentalist tradition, I thought about hell a lot. Of course, I was taught about hell a lot. I imagined it as an active, eternal torment and in long family car rides I wondered what it would even look like to inflict that kind of pain. I pictured immersion in lava pools, splinters under fingernails, hooks in one's skin, and being eaten alive by rats. I shuddered at these ideas. I also cried a lot. For a significant portion of my childhood, I believed I was nearly or definitely damned. Based on my 4th grader's interpretation of Hebrews 6:6 and an offhand comment by the Bible school teacher, I thought my joke delivered in a sugar rush at bible class was "mocking the holy spirit" - which I interpreted to be the unforgivable sin. I remember sobbing into my pillow and quietly weeping hymns that night just in case God was still listening. 

Now that I'm older - and out of the church - some friends have shared similar experiences. Their damnation came from things like muttering "godammit" or was evidenced by their failure to speak in tongues. Some described recurring nightmares and even panic attacks that were triggered by fire and brimstone sermons. Many of the object lessons I received on hell are still burned in my memory. 

A high school friend from a sister church recounted one object lesson about hell that she found especially devastating. One time at Bible camp, about half of the campers hiked to a hilltop for the nightly sermon only to find that many of their friends were missing. She took a seat among the empty chairs as the preacher welcomed them to heaven, and began preaching from Matthew 7 & 25. He read, "small is the gate and narrow is the way that leads to life and only few will find it" and "[the unsaved] will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life." At that moment, she began to hear her friends calling her name through the trees from the bottom of the hill. They, the unsaved, were begging her to come back. To save them.

I remember listening to a leader in my old church as he explained how the gospel is like a cure for cancer. "Imagine that everyone in your school is dying of cancer, and you have the cure in your backpack. Are you going to share it with them, or keep it to yourself? How selfish must a person be to withhold that from those that need it most?" I agreed and felt a fresh burden of guilt - how many people haven't I told? How many are unsaved from my cowardice and apathy?

Parents sometimes complained about these  lessons and as a teenager I didn’t understand that. If we really believed these are the terms of existence shouldn’t be we made fully aware of their gravity? 

I've often wondered if, as kids, we took the idea of damnation more seriously than our parents did. In an episode of The Life After, a therapist joins the hosts to talk about internalized fundamentalism and undoing what some call religious trauma syndrome. One host offers an explanation for why children (now millennials in their 20s-30s) experienced this growing up:

“This is something very interesting that I have not heard a lot of commentary on, but I’m really interested in exploring: A big part of the reason that our generation experienced so much religious trauma is that our parents' generation more or less chose Christianity, and our generation was born into it. So for us, growing up, it was our entire reality. Whereas for our parents, it was an augmentation to the reality they already knew. They were able to pick and choose what they let in, whereas we didn’t have a choice. That’s part of the gap. That’s why we can’t communicate [about the impact of our religious upbringing].”

The doctrine of hell was a defining aspect of my faith by design. While I personally think it's a stretch to call these experiences religious trauma or spiritual abuse, I'm troubled that emotionally manipulating teenagers this way is normalized -- even systematized -- in so many traditions.

 Why Hell Matters for a Nonbeliever 

I became a Christian universalist at 17 - even as a Christian, I thought to torture nonbelievers for their nonbelief was morally indefensible. But even after leaving the faith entirely, that fundamentalist doctrine has caused me more pain than any other. It also makes interfaith relationships much trickier to navigate. 

One reason for this is that I find myself preoccupied by its normalcy. In fact, I'm comfortable saying that my damnation is the primary lens through which I view the church. Every steeple, every cross on the highway, and every bible verse on Facebook is a reminder that a considerable portion people in this country would not object to my eternal suffering as long as it's at the hands of the right deity. That number includes many family members and people I grew up with. Maybe you can see why that’s a little preoccupying.

This means that my damnation often becomes the unshakeable backdrop to any relationship that I have with a Christian person. Even when they’re not thinking about it, I almost certainly am - and I want to know what they're thinking about it. There's not a clear way to introduce that into a conversation, but I'm always curious. I mean, maybe I want to be friends, but it's awkward if you think your God will call for my torture in fifty years. In many cases, there’s no aspect of faith that I want to engage believers on more than this point exactly. I rarely do, because it's impolite to ask that kind of question, and when the conversation arrives I often find myself ill-prepared to engage. 

This is because I find communicating the relational toll of this dynamic to be almost impossible. Asking someone to take my perspective is hard because, for one, there is a lack of any secular analogue. In that past, I've asked whether it would change our relationship if I believed that eating animals for food was a sin. (I'm a vegetarian.) Would it change anything if I believed that, if you don't also become a vegetarian, you will be reincarnated as an animal that's needlessly slaughtered forever? That if you stop eating meat now, you can save yourself this fate, but that I'm afraid your late omnivorous relatives are already in anguish for their crimes? Of course I don’t want that for them, and it’s sad but it’s true. That I don't make the rules, but also the rules are fair? Maybe our dinner parties would be a little more awkward. Maybe you wouldn't let me around your kids. Or invite me to dinner at all. You can see that our interactions might be a little strained, and you might have some questions about what this means for our relationship.

Why Hell Matters for Believers

The doctrine of hell also impacts Christians who have relationships with nonbelievers. It raises the stakes for any Christians willing to have interfaith relationships by casting nonbelievers as both a soul that’s in danger and a spiritual threat. This is why I've seen preachers tell new Christians not to befriend nonbelievers, and why I've had parents tell their Christian kids to stop hanging out with me. I think this advice is hateful and misguided, but more than anything it’s self-preserving and intuitively follows from the doctrine of damnation. Moreover, it puts many of the necessary conversations out of reach. 

The mathematician Blaise Pascal invented a tactic of evangelism that won souls by threatening them with Hell. (He was also a lot of fun at parties.) It’s called Pascal’s wager, and it goes something like this: “If you’re an atheist then you might as well be a Christian, because if you’re right then you’ll die and be dead, but if you’re wrong then you’ll die and be damned. So, just be a Christian. Why roll the dice?” It's about as effective for evangelism as it is unethical. But it's an excellent retention technique for those already in the pew. If you're a Christian already persuaded of the stakes, it's a paralyzing reminder about the cost of defecting. 

When I was a Christian, I found the risk of dissuasion utterly terrifying. I read up on apologetics mostly to reassure myself that I could parry every objection with my faith intact if any atheist came looking for a fight. But when the atheist is a loved one, the stakes get even higher. It’s not enough to defend myself anymore. I have to bring that person back to the fold before they're calling my name from the bottom of the hill. So many believers decide to withdraw altogether. By taking a step back, they can at least say it's in God's hands. But the relationship is too risky to pursue.

My point here is not to say that the doctrine of damnation is incorrect -- though I obviously think that. My point is to say that it’s damaging. A judgment about whether another person’s life stance makes them worthy of suffering will matter for that relationship, and in the end that judgment is what the doctrine is about. It’s especially preoccupying for the deconverted when we assume that Christians take the belief as seriously as we did when we internalized it in childhood. 

Addressing that assumption requires a conversation where we may find ourselves at an impasse: the doctrine of damnation is both preoccupying to nonbelievers and immobilizing to believers. I can't say that every nonbeliever wants to have this conversation or that every believer is so reticent. What I can say is that on three different instances, I have been contacted by an old friend who I thought was just catching up, only to discover they were enlisted by a concerned believer to "give me a nudge in the right direction." Presumably feeling ill-equipped to do this themselves, my family recruited someone with ministerial experience. I found myself heartbroken, not only by the pretense of reunion, but because I desperately wanted to have that conversation - not with a minister but with those closest to me. Not to interrogate or dissuade them, but to unpack the challenges that I'm writing about now. 

Even as I'm attempting to acknowledge the pain on both sides of this discussion, I'm still blinded by my indignation about it. (I’m shaking as I type this.) Personally, I've found it a relief to openly ask Christians about this in a way that is as nonjudgmental as I can muster. Taking an exploratory posture toward these attitudes has at least put my wandering mind at ease and is a big part of why I feel less preoccupied with all of this than in years past. That's required self-restraint on my part and interpersonal courage on theirs. Relationships have grown as a result, and I consider myself extremely lucky for the opportunity to have them. I don’t know if it’s something talk through and be done with, but even if the questions may never be entirely resolved it’s a conversation worth having.

[toldnews-blog]

New Post has been published on https://toldnews.com/sports/how-climate-change-affects-ski-racing/

How climate change affects ski racing

Changing weather patterns are reconfiguring ski racing in gritty, noticeable ways, drawing stark contrasts to how things were a decade ago.

From shrinking glaciers and inadequate snow cover to tempestuous storms and too much of the white stuff, racers on the World Cup circuit are having to adapt in myriad ways.

Just ask Federica Brignone, Italian Olympic bronze medalist in giant slalom at PyeongChang, and she’ll point to her suitcase as evidence of how she thinks climate change is changing skiing.

“I go with a big bag,” said the 28-year-old of how she packs a wide variety of clothing to be prepared for the increasingly fluctuating weather.

‘It’s sad…that’s our planet’

Today the planet is 1 degree Celsius warmer than it was before the start of the industrial revolutions in the early nineteenth century, and according to UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, could be 1.5 C warmer by 2030.

Global warming is impacting winter sports in two key areas — shrinking the season and greater variability in weather conditions, according to CNN’s senior meteorologist Brandon Miller.

“Climate change isn’t just drier and warmer,” he says. “Inconsistent weather patterns arising from changes in the earth’s atmosphere can lead to prolonged periods of bitter cold and snow.

“Heavy snow can result as warmer air can hold more moisture which produces more snow if conditions are cold enough. But on the whole, these bouts of cold and heavy snow will be fewer and farther between as the climate warms.”

Brignone is just one winter sports athlete who has noticed more erratic weather patterns since she began racing on the World Cup circuit in 2007.

“It’s warmer in the summer, but the past few years, I’ve never been so cold,” said Brignone. “There were times last year in Pyeongchang and in Killington [this year] where it was -25 C. The climate is changing, because in one or two days it will go from -25 C to 5 C. That’s crazy.”

The rapid deterioration of the glaciers that sustain early season training is forcing today’s coaches and racers to reassess how they prepare for the annual circuit.

“I’ve been going to glaciers for 20 years to train,” said veteran World Cup racer Resi Stiegler. “You wouldn’t have even thought it was warm out 10 years ago. Now you’re [skiing] in T-shirts.”

READ: Shiffrin seals stellar season with 60th World Cup win

Even the tallest peak in the Alps isn’t immune to warming temperatures. The Mer de Glace glacier, which descends from Mont Blanc near Chamonix, France, is melting at roughly 40 meters (130 feet) a year.

“The biggest thing I’ve seen is the glaciers are melting at an incredible rate,” American speed queen Lindsey Vonn told CNN’s Alpine Edge.

“The glaciers I went to when I was a kid don’t look anything remotely like they used to. You go up to Zermatt or Saas Fee or Hintertux or Soelden, they’ve got very little of the glacial ice they used to have.

“It’s sad, not just for the sport but that’s our planet. It really irritates me and frustrates me that people don’t acknowledge global warming exists.”

READ: ‘Hardest decision:’ Ski ace Marcel Hirscher mulls retirement

‘Big mistake’

It’s not only skiing stars that are worried.

At the historic Hahnenkamm race weekend in Kitzbuhel this season, long-time ski racing fan, movie star, politician and environmental activist Arnold Schwarzenegger called out President Trump for his stance on climate change, saying he was making a “big mistake” by pulling the US out of the Paris Agreement on climate change by 2020.

In February, the head of the International Ski Federation, Gian-Franco Kasper, was forced to issue an apology after referring to “so-called” climate change in an interview with Swiss newspaper Tages Anzeiger.

The 75-year-old Swiss, asked to elaborate on the subject, said: “There is no proof for it. We have snow, sometimes even a lot of it. I was in Pyeongchang for the Olympiad. We had -35 Celsius. Everybody who came up to me shivering I greeted with, ‘Welcome to global warming’.”

He later said his comments had been “misunderstood.”

READ: Kitzbuhel downhill: For sheer rock ‘n’ roll racing, this is The One

READ: Why Kitzbuhel races offer skiing’s biggest party

‘Exceptional circumstances’

The Alps experienced one of its snowiest winters in recent years in 2017-2018, while this season there was unprecedented snowfall in some regions and a dearth in others. For World Cup organizers, winter weather is an occupational hazard — storms are needed for snow, but too much, or too little, and races have to be rescheduled or canceled.

The men’s season opener in Solden, Austria in October was canceled because of high winds and excessive snowfalls, while December’s women’s World Cup events at Val d’Isère were rescheduled elsewhere because of a lack of snow and warm temperatures.

In January, huge snowfalls across much of the northern Alps forced the cancellation not only of World Cup races in St. Anton, Austria, but the whole town being closed off for avalanche safety reasons. “Exceptional circumstances call for exceptional measures,” said a statement on the St. Anton website.

“There are locations, mainly in Austria and southern Bavaria, where we haven’t seen this level of snowfall ever before, or at least not to that extreme,” said Florian Pappenberger, the director of forecasts at the European Centre for Medium-Range Weather Forecasts.

Races in Bansko, Bulgaria, Garmisch-Partenkirchen in Germany and 2014 Winter Olympics venue Rhosa Khutor in Russia were also called off because of heavy snow, despite the best efforts of organizers to stage the events.

“Sometimes we have to admit that nature is just stronger,” said Atle Skaardal, race director for the women’s World Cup circuit, in Rhosa Khutor.

READ: Extreme weather brings fatal avalanches and cuts off Alpine resorts

‘The seasons have moved’

In an effort to combat nature’s unpredictable rhythms, ski resorts have long used artificial snowmaking to create a decent base at the start of the season and to keep supplies topped up to the end.

The increasingly sophisticated snowmaking systems are built primarily for tourism purposes but have become critical lifelines for FIS World Cup events.

At Killington, Vermont, a late November host of women’s World Cup races, a noticeable shift in seasons is recalibrating how the snowmaking team approaches its preparations.

“The seasons have actually moved,” said Jeff Temple, director of mountain operations. “It’s harder to get those colder temps in November, and it seems like we’ve extended the season more.”

Killington examined decades’ worth of temperature and snowfall data to model and map out what was needed to guarantee a decent piste and practice slope for the World Cup. The magic number: 130 hours of snowmaking, or five-days’ worth of snow production.

“We call it a no regrets concept,” he said. “We have to take advantage of every hour we can get in October and November.”

If anything, the changing climate has helped level the field between those who rely on natural snow and those who don’t, says Mike Solimano, president and general manager of Killington.

“For a long time, we’ve been less dependent on natural snow than everybody else,” he said. “We’ve had to invest a lot more in snowmaking in the last 25 years than everyone out West.”

Preference for man-made snow

Europe’s mega-resorts are also heavily dependent on snowmaking in order sustain their ski tourism industry while also enabling them to continue to host the brand-enhancing World Cup circus.

Courchevel in the French Alps unveiled 115 new snow cannons for the 2018-19 season — making 700 in total across the whole of the interconnected Three Valleys region — and has upgraded its snowmaking technology to higher-performing, more efficient systems that can blow snow in warmer temperatures.

“Normally, snow guns run at -4 C (24.8F), but now we have ones that can produce in -2 C weather,” said Bruno Tuaire of the resort’s Club des Sports, which organizes the regular Women’s World Cup events in December.

Courchevel also tried the radical technique of snow farming this year, conserving about 700,000m3 of snow under tarpaulins over the summer. Nearly 100,000m3 of it was left to start the 2018-19 season.

However, one of the biggest ironies is that many of the ski racers actually prefer competing on artificial snow.

“Uniquely, for the World Cup trail, we need nearly all man-made snow,” Tuaire said. “There’s never more than 50% of natural snow in the mix.”

For Brignone, racing on man-made snow translates into faster conditions.

“The man-made snow is a little more sticky. It’s so much more aggressive. You say, ‘ok, the skis are going [downhill] so you go.'”

Despite the weather, Mikaela Shiffrin and Marcel Hirscher shattered World Cup records aplenty this season to showcase the sport in rude health.

All eyes are on a bright future.

[entj-werewolf]

I actually got tagged, so I’ll give this a shot! Since it’s big, I’ll put it under the cut...

Tagged by: @unlimited-goldfish​

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

(As usual with the tagging part of rules, I also just let anyone do this if they want. Idk who to tag most of the time...)

LAST:

1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: Can’t remember... I think my mom was the last to call me today? 3. Text message: Mainly to my little sister. I’d been texting her about some Splatoon stuff! 4. Song you listened to: Some Splatoon 2 music... 5. Time you cried: I don’t remember, but even if I did.... I’d keep that to myself, ahaa. Lots has been going on though.

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: Nope, never dated before either 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: I don’t like kisses, soooo I haven’t kissed anyone at all. I’d probably regret it if I did, tbh. 8. Been cheated on: Nah 9. Lost someone special: A few people, yep... 10. Been depressed: Boy, it was pretty bad when I was a kid I think. Came across some old journals of mine while cleaning through stuff recently, and yeesh, the bullying got to me worse than I remembered from that time. As of recent? I’m... Not too sure. I have drastic confidence drops under huge stress, but idk if they’re depressive states or not? Also, dealing with life loss is rough. I had a horrid time last year after losing my last grandparent. It’s still sometimes unpleasant to think about, so I try keeping my mind off of that... 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: No way. I hate alcohol anyhow... And I dislike dealing with drunk people.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Green, Dark Purple, Dark Blue!

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: It’s not common that I outright make new friends. It’s mostly acquaintances and mutuals! Sooo, nah, haven’t technically made any new friends in the past year.

16. Fallen out of love: Haven’t had any feelings for anyone like that, so nope

17. Laughed until you cried: YEP. Great times...

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Ahh, yep... I’m talked about a lot by family, mostly in negative light. This is every year. RIP. 20. Found out who your friends are: Known that already before the past year! 21.  Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Heck nope

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Only irl people or trustworthy online friends of mine can have my Facebook, buuut... I hate that site. So I actually rarely go on it. (I only signed up ‘cause my family made me when I was a teen, pfffff) 23. Do you have any pets: YES! My black cat, Luna! 24. Do you want to change your name: I thought about this once or twice in my life, buuut I’m fine with Sarah for now. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I went out to a new place to try out its vegan donuts, and they had some fresh coconut too. So, as a bonus, I got to have coconut water fresh from the thing itself! With amazing donuts. It was a good start to my birthday - but the rest of my day was being stuck in Ikea for 3-freaking-HOURS with my mom and older sister. I forgot how bad my legs could hurt before that.... 26. What time do you wake up: Technically 11:30-something-am, but I couldn’t get out of bed until like.... 12pm. My sleep is screwed up again, yeah... 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Drawing, I think? 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Nintendo Switch Restocks... just PLEASE, EVERYTHING HOLY, GET THEM FREAKING RESTOCKED SO I CAN GET ONE. Besides that, I can’t wait to move on from my job to a better one. My job situation is driving me insane. 29. When was the last time you saw your mom? Just tonight when saying g’night to her, pffff 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Hmmm.... Better luck in general would be nice. 2017 is like the freaking biggest pique of my bad luck from what’s happened so far. 31. What are you listening to right now: Still listening to Splatoon 2 music! 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I... Do not recall meeting or talking to a Tom in my life. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Lots of things... Mainly my job and money circumstance stuff.

34. Most visited website: I’m not 100% sure, but it miiiight be Youtube 35. Mole/s: I think so, but only the flat, not-dangerous types. I had one mole removed a couple of weeks ago though and..... That... was NOT pleasant. Turns out I do NOT have skin cancer, so that’s good?

36. Mark/s: Not that I’m sure of or remember atm, but I used to get scars pretty easily 37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be a veteranarian and actually would do a lot of side studies on my own about animals. This dream changed, of course, once I got older and learned more about what felt to be my “purpose” and I aim for that now. But I still like learning about animals and have scrambled knowledge on nature because of that! 38. Hair color: Dark brown 39. Long or short hair: Fairly long hair 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Nope! I have no idea what a crush feels like either..... 41. What do you like about yourself: Uhh... Hmm.... For several years, I’ve been liking my ambitious “energy” of sorts? Makes me feel like I’m living a full life as long as I’ve got that, hahaa... 42. Piercings: Nope, needles and anything that pierces my skin freaks me out to nauseous levels... 43. Blood type: If I recall correctly, it’s O negative; and apparently I can donate to most/all other blood types? (Too bad I don’t physically or mentally handle getting my blood drawn, otherwise I’d be fine with occasional donations to make use of that) 44. Nicknames? Wolf, Kat, or WolfKat - when people try referring to me based on my common online alias; “Fluffy” by some other people; and then freaking “furry” being a more rampant nickname by my friends recently..... -heavy sigh- 45. Relationship status: Single

46. Zodiac: Haven’t been much into this, but I only recall I’m Pisces ‘cause of my birthday. (Those Pisces descriptions are like the dang opposite of my MBTI type.....) 47. Pronouns: Just female stuff. I’ve been mistaken for a guy a lot online somehow, though.... I find it oddly amusing, pffffft. 48. Favorite TV Show: “Gravity Falls” and “[The] Slayers” are my top favorites, and I enjoy several other animated shows alongside these two!  50. Right or left hand: Left-handed pretty much, but I’ve taught myself to use my right hand decently for stuff like holding forks/spoons for eating. And I actually don’t like using left-handed computer mice... Regardless, I draw and write best with my left hand.

51. Surgery: Wisdom teeth surgery - which I had when I was 18 I think? That was a very weird experience for me. I’m glad I only talked to my close friends during the first part of my recovery... I would’ve died of regret if I tried posting anything online while I was drugged with pain killers and who knows what else. Eugh. 52. Hair dyed in different color: Nah, I like my natural hair color as is 53. Sport: Basketball! I’ve always liked this sport... I haven’t played in a long time though. 55. Vacation: My vacations in terms of travel and being fun for me, tend to be for conventions... Like Dragoncon and Momocon. Whenever they can be affordable, at least. 56. Pair of trainers: Idk what this refers to, sooo I looked it up. Synonymous with sneakers and tennis shoes, it seems? In that case, I have a few pairs of these ‘cause I LOVE sneakers/athletic shoes!

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Not eating anything atm. I’m staying up late to wait for my acid reflux to chill the heck out, actually... (I can’t lay down when it gets like this. Ugh.) 58. Drinking: Some sips of water here and there. 59. I’m about to: Try and sleep, maybe. 62. Want: A lot. But for this very moment, I want to be able to lay down without feeling like I’ll throw up!

63. Get married: Nope. Probably never? Idk how to fit marriage into my future, and having to be in such a relationship like that is very.... Overwhelming and intimidating for me atm. 64. Career: I want my dream career right now but I don’t know when my skills will be professional enough for it so it’s just waiting and trying to find other jobs until then.... Game Development is my future, though.

65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs only. No kisses! 66. Lips or eyes: Huh? I dunno. I don’t like eye contact, aaannndd I have no idea what’s significant about lips. Just... Lips are lips? 67. Shorter or taller: No strong preference, but shorter people I tend to like being around the most (’cause lots of tall people treat me in an annoying way TBH. Like petting my head or trying to lean over me? Excuse you.) 68. Older or younger: Uhhh... ? In general, I don’t mind what age people are when I meet them... With friends, I tend to end up with lots of younger ones in my close circle. Very few are older than me. 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I do not like either... Or caring about looks at all. Sooo, none/neither. 71. Sensitive or loud: I don’t like loudness in general (got sensitive hearing as well), so sensitive would be more preferrable. I mostly have sensitive friends too anyhow. 72. Hook up or relationship: Preferrably neither, but if I ever ended up in that kind of relationship, it would need to be under mutual merits and built from a deep friendship. No casual hook ups. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: I tend to prefer hesitant people over troublemakers.... But some of my more mischievous friends can keep life interesting at times, hahaa

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: Heck no 75. Drank hard liquor: Again, hate alcohol 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I think I’ve lost my glasses once or twice? Those moments are true suffering 77. Turned someone down: Many times. Idk why people keep getting crushes on me... Like... Have mercy for once.... 78. Sex on the first date: Nopenopenope, and I NEVER want that at any point in my life either. 79. Broken someone’s heart: A few times on accident toward friends... Sometimes feel guilty about those moments again even if all is forgiven now. 80. Had your heart broken: I think so, but it’s not often in terms of friendship-based stuff. 81. Been arrested: Thankfully, nope! I intend to keep it that way. 82. Cried when someone died: Definitely. 83. Fallen for a friend: I’m not too sure what this means? Ummm... I mean, I assume it’s like making a huge/important sacrifice for a friend, but idk. I don’t recall anything like that atm other than the times I’d stand up for friends, against their bullies in high school.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84: Yourself: Normally, yeah. When overwhelmed with stress though? Nope. 85. Miracles: Yup. I’ve experienced quite a few either as an observer/witness, or a few times personally. 86. Love at first sight: Nah. Sometimes, there’s an instant “click” with people even for potential friendships, but that’s not always reliable for something long-term. 87. Santa Claus: Not now, but as a kid, I of course believed in Santa. A ton. 88. Kiss on the first date: Noooooope

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: Pao/Paola! We’ve been close pals for about 8 years now 91. Eye color: Greyish Green? Sometimes looks more blue-tinted in other light sources? 92. Favorite movie: A tough pick... Hmm... Maybe Zootopia or Inside Out? I also really love Lilo and Stitch!

Alright, so yeah... No specific tags, but if anyone wants to do this, feel free to count it as my tag toward you!

I also noticed some numbers were missing from this list of questions, so who knows where those are? It’s almost 92. Have fun anyhow, maybe!

[bountyofbeads]

One day, the Trump superpower of his shameless self-regard may fail him

By Megan McArdle | Published October 04, 2019 5:40 PM ET | Washington Post | Posted October 7, 2019 10:25 AM ET

Take a break for just a moment. Step back from the dizzying rotation of the impeachment-grade news cycle and the frantic hurly-burly of partisan disputation. Enjoy a deep cleansing breath, and cast yourself back to a more innocent time, like the spring of 2015. Then just sit with it for a moment, pondering how absolutely astonishing our current predicament really is.

President Trump is on the fast track to impeachment — all right, yes, it’s not really all that surprising. But when you think back over the past four years, don’t you feel your breath catching in your throat, your eyes widening, your mouth falling ajar as you contemplate the amazing fact that Donald Trump ever became president of the United States, and thus, liable to impeachment?

I’ve literally lost count of all the moments at which I thought well, he’s done it now, no campaign could possibly survive that unforced error. Starting in July 2015, when he said of John McCain, “He’s not a war hero … I like people who weren’t captured.” This from a man who’s certainly no war hero, in part because a friendly podiatrist secured him a draft deferment for (apparently evanescent) bone spurs.

Americans don’t like anyone who impugns the honor of the nation’s warriors, especially not anyone who avoided service and is insulting a warrior who spent more than five years being tortured by the enemy in a notorious communist prison camp. Obviously, the Trump campaign was over … er, I meant to say, just begun.

There was still plenty of time for Trump to attack the parents of a dead soldier, to claim that judges of Mexican ancestry shouldn’t be allowed to oversee the trial involving a class-action lawsuit over his now-defunct Trump University and, in a hot-mic recording, to be revealed bragging about groping women. There was still time for reports about Trump routinely stiffing small vendors, for the clip of him discussing his own daughter in a salacious radio interview. And, gosh, that’s only the very craziest, most indisputably unacceptable stuff that happened before commander bone spurs became commander in chief.

How could any candidate have survived just one of these thermonuclear scandals, much less all of them? Trump must have had some previously undetected superpower — and in reality, he does, a quite obvious one: a perfect lack of concern about anyone except himself.

A normal person, possessed of a modicum of empathy and a healthy capacity for shame, wouldn’t have done such things. But if a normal politician had somehow done them, and gotten caught, he likely would have slunk away, withdrawing partly to avoid further public shaming but also to shield innocent bystanders — his family, his party — who would otherwise suffer for his sins. Not Trump, who seems largely indifferent to any suffering except his own and entirely immune to remorse, or its wistful cousin, regret.

Which is why his supporters like him. They were tired of having concerns about immigration dismissed as racist, beyond the pale — and they tired, too, of having their opinions about crime, terrorism or trade met with the same unanswerable accusation. Trump ignored the whole pious apparatus of unspoken rules that axiomatically excluded their arguments from the public square. The fact that he was shameless, brazen and unconcerned by procedural nicety, in his campaign and in his presidency, was one of his main attractions.

These traits have delivered enough victories — the 2016 election, the confirmation of Brett M. Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court — that his supporters are loath to question them now. Possibly his supporters are right; maybe Trump’s devil-may-care indifference is pure genius and will bring still more victories for those who followed him down the road less traveled.

Yet it seems at least worth asking why so few politicians chart the course of nakedly shameless self-regard. Was Trump simply the first explorer daring enough to discover a novel route to power? Or is this an extremely risky passage, safe to travel only under unusual circumstances, and otherwise a dead end?

I’d argue the latter, though of course I — effete #NeverTrumper — can be expected to say nothing else. But even his most ardent supporters ought to recognize that superpowers can make one a villain as often as a hero, and that this particular superpower is at the very least risky for them.

Because if the waters turn stormy and the public rebels — if polls suggest we’re looking at a Democratic president and a filibuster-proof Democratic majority in the Senate — then the day will come when even many of Trump’s supporters want him to stage a strategic withdrawal. And on that day, they’ll discover that he pays exactly as little heed to his followers as he does to anyone else who is not named “Trump.”

It’s not news that Trump is corrupt. What’s new is how he is succeeding in corrupting our government.

By Fred Hiatt | Published October 06, 2019 5:44 PM ET | Washington Post | Posted October 7, 2019 10:25 AM ET |

It is no longer surprising to see President Trump wielding the government as an instrument purely for his personal benefit or vengeance.

What is both alarming and new is how government, increasingly, is giving way and giving in.

Three years into Trump’s term, we are witnessing the accelerating erosion of a bedrock American principle: that the awesome power of government will be wielded fairly, based on facts and evidence, and without regard to political fear or favor.

A normal government that cared about corruption in Ukraine, as officials in this administration sometimes pretend they do, would seek improvements in its judicial system. But Trump has no such concern, as you can tell from his July 25 phone call with Ukraine’s president. He never mentions corruption, but presses only for two specific investigations he hopes will benefit his domestic political fortunes.

A government committed to rescuing Americans from unfair detention abroad — as Trump likes to boast he is — would be committed to rescuing all Americans from unfair detention abroad.

But this administration picks and chooses, based on Trump’s whims and grudges. For a Christian cleric held in Turkey, Trump goes all out. For a New York Times reporter endangered in Egypt, the administration does not bestir itself, as Times publisher A.G. Sulzberger recently recounted.

Some officials have indulged these impulses almost from the start. That Times reporter barely escaped arrest two years ago. Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross’s dishonest maneuverings to get a question about citizenship added to the 2020 Census took place in the spring of 2017. Last year, officials devised their policy to separate children from parents at the border, and then repeatedly lied about it.

But as time goes on, the government more and more is endorsing and amplifying policies that serve Trump’s political interest. Just recently:

●As soon as Trump decided to make political hay out of California’s homeless population, Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Andrew Wheeler accused the (Democratic) state of allowing human feces to pollute its waterways and demanded action. Around the country, 3,508 community water systems are out of compliance with standards; only California attracted the EPA’s attention.

●When the House Ways and Means Committee requested Trump’s tax returns, Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin and Internal Revenue Service Commissioner Charles Rettig flatly refused — though the law says the returns “shall” be turned over if requested.

●When another House committee wanted former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski to testify about Trump’s efforts to fire special investigator Robert S. Mueller III, White House counsel Pat Cipollone — who is supposed to represent the law, not the president’s personal well-being — happily asserted executive privilege on behalf of this tale of obstruction, though Lewandowski never actually worked in the White House.

●Indulging another Trump obsession, the State Department has intensified an investigation of Obama-era officials who sent emails to Hillary Clinton — including by retroactively classifying some of their messages, as The Post reported a few days ago.

●When the intelligence community’s inspector general ruled that the whistleblower complaint about Trump and Ukraine should be sent to Congress, the Justice Department’s Office of Legal Counsel conveniently offered a contrary opinion. No, the OLC said, “the appropriate action is to refer the matter to the Department of Justice.”

●Which was doubly convenient, in fact, because Justice, with great efficiency, determined that — although soliciting assistance from a foreign power on behalf of a political campaign is against the law — Trump had nothing to worry about, on the pretext that prosecutors were unable to assign a dollar value to the help he had solicited. Case closed. Case never even opened, in fact.

What’s going on? Senior officials who had the fortitude to defend the rule of law have gradually been replaced by those who put ambition over principle. A few who still try to do the right thing are kept in vulnerable “acting” positions and hemmed in by toadies and hacks in subordinate positions.

Meanwhile, honest civil servants leave or become demoralized. They watch first-class research agencies be deliberately disrupted and degraded. They see Trump firing (Ambassador to Ukraine Marie Yovanovitch) and threatening (the still anonymous whistleblower) honest professionals. Resistance to abuse of power naturally dwindles.

Yes, take this as a warning of what a second term would mean. Norms get eroded, a nonpartisan bureaucracy can be corrupted.

But remember also that the whistleblower and intelligence inspector general refused to bend. Thousands of public servants like them are continuing to fulfill their missions as best they can. We need to keep faith with them as they work, often under pressures we can’t imagine, to keep government fair and honest.

The new GOP strategy: Don’t believe the president

By James Downie | Published October 06, 2019 7:00 PM ET | Washington Post | Posted October 7, 2019 10:25 AM ET

You knew there was never going to be just one whistleblower. A president who stands on the White House lawn and asks foreign countries to investigate his political opponents was never going to otherwise keep such schemes to a small circle of loyalists. And so it has come to pass. ABC News’s George Stephanopoulos revealed Sunday morning, “ABC News has learned that the legal team representing the first whistleblower is now representing a second whistleblower. Attorney Mark Zaid told me that this second whistleblower is a member of the intelligence community with firsthand information on some of the allegations at issue.”

Confronted with that new information on the various Sunday morning talk shows, Republican congressmen and senators largely opted for the same mix of misinformation and non-answers that they’ve been stuck with even as poll after poll shows support for an impeachment inquiry rising. In one area, though, a new talking point has emerged: Don’t believe the president.

This goes back to the president’s appearance on the South Lawn on Oct. 3, when Trump asked China to investigate former vice president Joe Biden and his son Hunter. There’s no way to defend a president publicly asking a geopolitical rival to investigate domestic political rivals, so Republicans have decided to pretend he didn’t do that. The first up was Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.): “I don’t think it’s a real request,” he told reporters Friday morning, “I think he did it to provoke you to ask me and others and get outraged by it.” Republicans on the Sunday shows followed suit. “I doubt if the China comment was serious, to tell you the truth,” said Sen. Roy Blunt (R-Mo.) on CBS’s “Face the Nation." On ABC, Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) feigned incredulity: “George, you really think he was serious about thinking that China’s going to investigate the Biden family?”

It isn’t the first time that Republicans, confronted with a controversial Trump quote, have said the president wasn’t being serious. Trump even told special counsel Robert S. Mueller III that his infamous request to Russia to find Hillary Clinton’s “missing” emails was a joke. That Capitol Hill Republicans would go back to this well is no surprise; it’s an easy dodge when, according to The Post’s Robert Costa and Philip Rucker, GOP lawmakers and aides say privately that their “collective strategy is simply to survive and not make any sudden moves.”

The difference this time is that the president himself isn’t claiming that he was joking, not in any of his numerous Twitter missives since that South Lawn appearance. Instead, he laid into criticism from Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah) about his request to China. And Sunday afternoon he said on Twitter that he would “would LOVE running" against Biden.

Not only wasn’t Trump joking about asking China to investigate Biden, he isn’t pretending that he was. In other words, Republican politicians don’t want you to believe the president.

One reason Trump fit in so well with the GOP and especially its Fox News propaganda arm is that he and those around him have made livings telling people not to believe their own eyes. Years of “Trump’s a brilliant businessman, not a bumbling heir with multiple bankruptcies” easily transitioned to “Mexico will pay for the wall, not taxpayers.” But the narrative of “right good, left bad” was always bigger than one person, even one as influential as the president. Now, that narrative demands a new reality: “Don’t believe Trump even when he’s telling you to believe him.” The myth has swallowed Trump himself.

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25 Examples of Embezzlement and Workplace Theft

One awful day you wake up and realize an employee you trusted has been embezzling from your company. It’s one of the most devastating things to happen to a small business owner.

Examples of embezzlement abound and there’s no shortage of ways that employees steal.

The goal of this article is to help you spot the warning signs. If you can think like an embezzler, you will know what to look for to protect your business.

And protect it you must! The consequences of embezzlement can be catastrophic to a small business. According to the Hiscox Embezzlement Study, the median amount of an employee theft is a whopping $294,000.

The following list of embezzlement examples is based on my professional knowledge. Early in my career I was an in-house lawyer at a regional bank. We investigated hundreds of embezzlement cases involving customers of the bank, often small businesses. Later I served as vice president of human resources in a corporation where I also dealt with other types of workplace theft and fraud. So I’ve seen it all.

What is Embezzlement?

Before we look at embezzlement examples, let’s first understand what embezzlement means.

Embezzlement is when an employee or someone else in a trusted position steals from your business. They use the money or other assets for their own use.

Embezzlement often implies a white collar crime where funds are taken from bank accounts, or perhaps where check forgery or payroll fraud is involved.  But it’s not limited to those circumstances.

Embezzlement is a crime — the person is usually charged with felony theft under state law.  In certain circumstances it can also be a federal crime. Penalties may involve jail time and fines.  The embezzler usually is ordered by the court to pay restitution to the business. However, businesses are rarely repaid in full.

Embezzlement Examples

Here are the top 25 embezzlement examples and workplace thefts to watch out for:

Forging Checks

The employee writes company checks or makes electronic payments to himself. The employee then cooks the books to hide the theft.

This classic embezzlement example is made easier when a company uses a signature stamp of an executive’s signature.  A signature stamp is literally like handing employees a blank check because they can “sign” checks without your knowledge.

Prevention:  Separate responsibilities: one worker to process checks and another to reconcile transactions and approve documentation. If you don’t have enough staff for separate functions, then reconcile bank statements yourself. Require purchase orders or invoices for every payment. And stop using a signature stamp — or keep it under lock and key.

Cashing Customer Checks

The employee endorses and cashes customer checks payable to the company, then keeps the funds.

Today, as more payments become electronic the essential crime is the same. The employee may set up a bank account with a fictitious name similar to the employer’s to divert electronic payments into. Small banks and credit unions can be lax in allowing accounts to be established by the employee using fake “doing business as” names.

Prevention:  Separate the functions so that one person is responsible for processing payments and another for reconciling accounting entries. Implement controls to track customer payments at every step to avoid this kind of embezzlement.

Faking Vendor Payments

Next on our list of embezzlement examples is when an employee steals company funds, but tries to hide them as payments to vendors. Faithless employees may create fake vendor invoices and change accounting system entries to hide their tracks.

Prevention:  Regularly review detailed expense reports (not just summary reports) broken down by vendor, amount and purpose. If you stay familiar with your numbers, it’s easier to spot when a payment or accounting entry looks suspicious. If your company is big enough, separate the functions employees perform.

Overbilling Customers

The employee overbills customers, keeps the extra money and covers it up with false accounting entries.

Sometimes this a large-scale fraud where each customer or transaction is overbilled by a small “fee” for years. Other times it involves double billing the same amount twice or tacking on charges for items the customer did not buy.

You might be tempted to think of this as stealing from customers, but it’s really a type of embezzlement. Your company bears responsibility for overbillings and will have to make good to customers.

Prevention:  Conduct a periodic audit of customer billings. Pay close attention to customer complaints about billing errors and require thorough explanations from staff of how they occurred. Complaints may be a warning sign of a bigger problem.

Theft of Customer Card Data

An employee who takes phone orders may later use the customer’s credit card data to charge personal purchases online. Or a gas station manager may use a skimmer device to skim card data from terminals at the pumps.

A more nerdy version is when an employee downloads credit card data from company IT systems. Then he or she sells it on the dark web.

Prevention:  Limit access to customer data to only those who need it. Deploy technology that redacts credit card numbers or only prints out the last digits, to limit trash harvesting or unintentional sharing. Change permissions when someone with IT access leaves the company. If you use card terminals, install anti-skimming technology — some municipalities now require it.

Padding An Expense Account

Padding examples range from the occasional attempt to justify an expensive lunch using a “creative” description, all the way to elaborate embezzlement schemes.

Large enterprises take padding seriously – shouldn’t you? A Hewlett Packard CEO was ousted back in 2010 in the face of allegations he padded his expense account to hide an extramarital affair. HP saw the issue as one of trust.

Prevention:  Have a written policy detailing what is — and is not — reimbursable. Go over the policy in staff meetings. If employees do a lot of business travel, consider using an expense management app such as Zoho Expense or Expensify to control approvals and see scanned receipts all in one place.

Double Dipping

Next on our list of embezzlement examples is when there’s a single legitimate business expense, but the employee gets two reimbursements. She first pays for an expense with the company credit card. Later she submits a cash reimbursement request for the same expense.

Prevention:  Insist on seeing underlying receipts for all expenses (don’t just review the credit card statement). Use expense management software if your employees incur a lot of reimbursable expenses.

Using a Company Credit Card For Personal Use

The employee pays for personal expenses using a company credit card. The good news is, often these thefts are sporadic and the amounts are small.

However, what if the same employee also manages the accounting system and realizes no one but her pays attention?  Using a company credit card for personal use can turn into massive embezzlement examples when combined with falsified accounting records.

Prevention: Always have two people involved in the process: one to approve expenses and one to handle accounting. Require documentation of the expense purpose.

Voiding Transactions At The Cash Register

An associate at the cash register voids transactions and pockets the cash. This is a common way of skimming money from a retail small business.

Prevention:  Newer point-of-sale systems have security protocols to help prevent this kind of theft. For example, they allow clearance levels so you can require manager approval to void a sale. Employee ID numbers track how often a particular staff member voids transactions so you can spot repeat offenders.

Siphoning Off Cash Deposits

Before dropping off the cash deposit bag at the bank in the evening, the employee pockets some of the cash. The amount may be small enough not to be missed — perhaps $100. But week after week, it adds up to thousands of dollars.

Prevention:  Personally count the day’s cash, complete the deposit slip and enter the amount into the accounting records yourself before handing off the bag. Or separate the functions so two people are involved. Other strategies may help, such as security cameras in the area where cash is counted along with using locked deposit bags. See more tips for cash processing.

Raiding the Petty Cash Box or Safe

This theft can be as simple as the employee taking $200 out of the safe or petty cash box.

Prevention:  Lock up large sums and keep the key yourself, to minimize access and temptation by employees. Or use security cameras. Read: 20 Cash Handling Best Practices.

Pocketing Cash From Fundraisers

Skimming fundraiser money is all too common in non-profits. But this type of fraud also  occurs in businesses that take on a charitable cause. If one person has complete control over the money, from start to finish, the temptation to steal can prove too great.

Prevention: Always have at least two people involved in the workflow of collecting, recording, depositing and remitting donations. Don’t give temptation a chance.

Stealing Office Supplies

It’s shocking how many employees seem to feel it is okay to take large amounts of office supplies home. Theft of supplies usually involves consumable items like postage stamps, Post-it notes or coffee supplies.

The owners of one business started during the Great Depression had a solution. They were so frugal they required employees to turn in their pencils at the end of each day!  You don’t need to keep THAT tight a rein. But reasonable controls are a best practice.

Prevention:  Put most of your supplies under lock and key and replenish an open supply area sparingly, to keep shrinkage small. A security camera may help. Discuss the use of supplies in a company meeting to set the tone and convey company values.

Stealing Equipment or Raw Materials

In construction and manufacturing businesses, an employee may hide company property in a dumpster or storage area and retrieve it after hours.

Equipment theft also occurs in offices. Think laptops or small document scanners that can be slipped into a backpack or handbag.

Prevention:  Lock up or bolt down valuable items if feasible. Label important equipment with a number and let employees know you plan regular audits to ensure items are still on site. Use security cameras and electronic access systems.

Stealing Products

The employee steals company products. Examples include jewelry or perfume from a high end retail shop. Typical victims are small retailers that lack shrinkage controls. It is stunning how many owners simply stuff inventory into a storeroom with no tracking system.

Another variation is when a waiter does not charge friends for food or drinks in a restaurant.

Prevention:  Use security cameras. Implement an inventory management system and regularly check inventory levels. There’s even POS technology that tracks voided transactions and discounts, and alerts the owner or manager.

Burglarizing Company Premises

Think classic inside job — with or without accomplices. The employee leaves a door unlocked or uses a key to get in after hours. Your company gets ripped off.

Prevention:  Install security cameras. Implement an electronic security system to secure after-hours access, and record who is coming and going.

Stealing Returned Merchandise

This theft can occur in a retail or ecommerce setting, or in any business that swaps out old equipment. The employee simply takes returned items home or resells them on Craigslist or eBay.

A lack of controls makes this theft easier. In some small businesses, returns may be stacked haphazardly in a corner. Is it any wonder they disappear?

Prevention:  Implement control systems for managing returns and other property.

Claiming a Company Laptop Was Lost

The employee gives a laptop or mobile device to a family member and tells the employer it was lost. The company then replaces the item.

Prevention: Use device management software that enables the company to disable lost devices and track their location.

Setting Up Fake Employees

The embezzling employee sets up fake employees, pockets the pay, and cooks the books to hide the transaction. This happens in businesses with absentee owners or over-trusting owners who do not pay attention.

Prevention:  Implement systems to reconcile headcount with staffing expenses. Regularly review a detailed headcount report breaking down expenses by employee. Remember, detailed reports are your friend. Embezzlement is much harder to spot if all you ever look at are summary reports or a high-level P&L.

Falsifying Overtime

This may include schemes where co-workers clock in and out for each other. Or it may involve a payroll clerk creating false entries for supposed overtime that he pays himself.

Prevention:  Use electronic timesheet systems. Watch overtime pay closely for unusual increases. Compare detailed reports to identify exactly which employees are getting overtime and when — you may spot suspicious patterns.

Failing To Remit Payroll Tax Money

The employee embezzles money earmarked for the employer’s payroll tax remittances or other tax money. Eventually the taxing authority will come down hard on the business owner for not sending in the tax money, and may file a lien against the business or seize property. So not only do you face losses from embezzlement, but you have the IRS on your tail — a double whammy!

This embezzlement example is perpetrated by dishonest bookkeepers, financial staff, payroll clerks and even small outside payroll services.

Prevention:  Outsource to a large reputable payroll service such as Paychex or ADP. It goes a long way to prevent an embezzlement nightmare. Or require a regular audit by an outside accounting firm.

Collecting Kickbacks From Vendors

In this scheme, the employee gets vendor kickbacks and you are unaware. Kickbacks can be cash. They also can take the form of additional products and services used in an employee’s side business or home. A warning sign is an unusually close relationship between a vendor and an employee.

Prevention:  Get involved in choosing vendors yourself. This minimizes collusion between vendors and faithless employees.

Selling Trade Secrets; Corporate Espionage

The employee sells sensitive information to a competitor. Or the employee takes  confidential documents and trade secrets with him when switching jobs.

You see this in high tech startups. For example, a former Google executive was indicted on criminal charges for stealing 14,000 files for self-driving car technology and taking them to a startup later acquired by Uber.

Prevention:  Have strong employee agreements. Shared cloud storage systems help you manage and track who has access to what.

Business Identity Theft

An employee secures a line of credit or loan in your company name, using the money for personal purchases. The embezzler then uses company funds to make the payments. Typical embezzlers are finance staff or bookkeepers with access to accounting records and legitimate accounts used to cover their tracks.

A similar theft is when a partner or family member in a family business takes out unauthorized loans in the company name.

Prevention:  Implement internal controls for checks and balances. Require detailed reports to see where money is going. Sudden cash flow issues or a negative change in your company credit score may be warning signs of embezzlement.  Pay particular attention to services like PayPal and others than allow pre-approved loans or advances against your account.

Starting A Business Using Company Resources

In this situation, employees start their own businesses on company time. In the worst situations employees use company resources such as software code in their new software product, or steal raw materials.

Make no mistake about it: this is theft. Yet, some delusional souls brag on social media about what they are doing!

Still, the employer may get the last laugh. Why? Because generally speaking, an employer owns all work product created on company time.

Prevention:  Set expectations properly with employees — and make your policy clear, whatever is. Some employers encourage side businesses but others have a no moonlighting policy. Even if you allow side businesses, make it clear that activities  should not be conducted during work hours, and company resources may not be used.

Final Thoughts on Embezzlement

It’s important to be an engaged business owner. Pay attention, ask questions and review detailed reports. Deploy technology to control access and approval levels, and provide early warning of anything unusual. Most of all, implement checks and balances in your processes to make sure no single employee has complete control. Steps like these help protect the livelihoods of everyone in the business.

Images: Depositphotos.com

This article, “25 Examples of Embezzlement and Workplace Theft” was first published on Small Business Trends

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