#anyway i also finished all the white and red commons!

[dravidious]

You're more amazing than 3D models

I haven't made any 3D models in months, but I have made 3 Differentcolorsofcommoncards! Here's the greens

I renamed a few that I showed previously because I think I've figured out the flavor I want to go with. Still placeholder names obviously, but slightly more fitting placeholder names

[once-in-a-blood-moon]

Because You Know That I Love You...

Solomon x GN! reader

Summary: You surprise Solomon with a special little evening, little does he know the true plans you have in store for him...

AN: I've had this written for like a week, but wasn't happy with it, so I finally sat down tonight to fix it up a little. Just a goofy little thing, and so help me I'm going to MILK us living with Solomon as much as I can until the next season comes out! Enjoy this little goblin creature of a fic I made :)

Warnings: It's a little suggestive but it never goes anywhere, it's a silly I swear! (mostly), slightly possessive reader (matching Solomon's energy really, lol), Solomon calls reader "sweetheart" and "love," pre-established relationship

Now playing: Sacrifice (2019 Mix) - London After Midnight

“What are you doing?”

Solomon leans against the doorframe with his arms crossed as he takes in the sight before him. Scattered around the common room are dozens of lit candles, each one flickering with your movement as you make your way around to continue lighting more. There’s also a bouquet of dried red roses on the coffee table.

It seems he caught you in the middle of whatever you were setting up.

“Preparing.” you state bluntly, though your response leaves much to Solomon’s wandering imagination.

What could you be preparing for? The candles, the lighting, the flowers – in the solitude of your shared dormitory, no less…

Oh, oh my…

A slick grin pulls on his lips as it dawns on him that you’re trying create a romantic atmosphere for the two of you. That’s the only explanation there is.

He chuckles as he crosses the room to get to you. His arms circle around your waist from behind, causing you to jump slightly from his sudden touch. “Oh, love… Putting in all this effort for little ole me?”

He’s already feeling amorous and you haven’t even finished setting up yet. Tender kisses brush along the shell of your ear, his lips moving to your neck all the way down to your shoulder. Your body shivers in his hold, and his heart nearly bursts out of his chest with the knowledge that he’s affecting you in a similar manner.

“Well, you deserve the best.” It’s obvious to him that you’re fighting to keep your voice even and your hand steady as you light the last candle.

“Is that so?” Solomon places a little kiss right behind your ear his time, his hands simultaneously squeezing your hips in anticipation.

With a quick flick of your hand, the match between your fingers goes out, and you shimmy out of his eager grasp. This confuses Solomon as his eyes follow your form to the coffee table. You pick the bouquet up with a soft sigh, before mumbling in disappointment, “you weren’t supposed to see yet...”

Solomon just watches you silently for a few moments, noticing how down you seem that he ruined your surprise.

“Oh, sweetheart, it’s okay. I’m flattered you’re doing this for me at all! I was certainly surprised to see all your efforts,” he slowly approaches you, gingerly taking the bouquet from your hand. “How about I help you finish setting up?”

With a small smile, you nod, easily agreeing to his compromise. “Okay. I could use some help anyways. Why don’t you go ahead and start picking the petals off the flowers?”

Solomon returns your smile and instantly begins on his task. He sits on the couch, holding the flowers over the table as he plucks at the petals, letting them pile up there until he’s done and you tell him where to scatter them.

“You know...” he starts, “I can’t help wonder if there’s a special occasion I’m missing here. I didn’t forget our anniversary, did I?”

“No, no special occasion, no anniversary,” you say softly as you fish into your pocket for a piece of white chalk that you had hidden there, “but there is a reason I’m doing this…”

A curious brow cocks at the piece of chalk you present. His fingers pause their movement as he watches you push the coffee table towards him on the couch and as you roll up the rug, clearing up space in the middle of the room. “Oh? And why may my adorable apprentice want to go to through such lengths for me tonight?”

You then kneel on the old, creaky floorboards, beginning to draw a large circle right on them...and a large star to match right in the center. This looks familiar. Too familiar, in fact. You’re silent as you work, almost as if you’re in some sort of trance. Solomon’s about to re-ask his question when he hears a faint whisper fall from your lips.

“I’m going to sacrifice you.”

Solomon’s eyes widen as he swallows thickly, struggling to comprehend what you just said. Where in the Seven Hells did that come from?! And why?

Although, the more he thinks about it, the idea of you being the one to sacrifice him for whatever purpose doesn’t sound so bad. You successfully caught him in your web, seducing him with gestures that seemed one way, but were really another. And here he was, foolishly aiding you along. He stares in disbelief at the pile of rose petals which were actually to be scattered around him on the pentagram... Not on the couch like he’d expected. He could almost laugh at himself right now.

“And by sacrifice, you mean…”

“Laying on the floor as I chant above you and accept you as my own personal offering.”

Oh, this just got even better.

He looks up to you, grinning as he realizes what you plan to do. “You mean to sacrifice me to yourself so that I’m permanently bound to you? Am I understanding this correctly?” Because he’d do it. Gods, he’d let you in a heartbeat if it’s what you wanted, if it meant he'd forever be tied to you.

A sly grin of your own appears, almost maniacally, on your lips. “You understood perfectly. After tonight, you’re mine.”

“I see...” Solomon nods before ultimately shrugging. He’s so into this. “Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s do it.”

[blues824]

(round 1)

silver w prompts #3, 4, and 5!!

My first request for the Fluffcember event!!

You requested: Present Shopping, Gift Giving, and Wrapping Gifts

Silver

“Come on, Silver! We haven’t checked out that shop yet!”

For the past two hours, you have dragged him about the town to go gift shopping for all of your friends. Of course, a few of them were gag-gifts, but that doesn’t matter because you knew that they would appreciate any gift you give them (unless it’s an ass-kicking). 

The aforementioned knight kind of let you drag him around, but he had to admit that it was getting harder and harder to keep his eyes open. The only thing that kept him going was how cute you looked wrapped up in one of his hoodies and a bunch of winter wear. You genuinely had this man wrapped around your finger.

Anyway, you walked into the store and found all sorts of wintery-themed trinkets. Little ceramic village houses that were powered with electricity, lamp posts, streets, even figurines of people and animals. Eventually, you came across a couple of nutcrackers, and you picked one up. It had silver hair and was dressed in a red soldier’s top and white pants.

“Look! It’s you!” You held it up to him for him to examine, and he took it from your gloved hands just to look at it more closely.

“What do you mean?” He was genuinely confused. Surely you weren’t comparing him to a nutcracker of all things?

“In my world, there is a ballet that depicts a little girl from Germany on Christmas Eve who dreams of a nutcracker coming to life and defending her from the evil Mouse King. That’s who you remind me of; you will always protect me no matter what trouble I find myself in,” and with that, you placed a kiss upon the bridge of his nose before turning away.

~~~~~~~~

You both sat down in the Diasomnia common room, him assisting you with wrapping gifts and writing peoples’ names. Malleus tried to sneak a peek at the gifts, but he was sent to his room so that the surprise would not be ruined. He knows you don’t mean it personally, and took it as lighthearted, and even let out a loud laugh as you ushered him out.

Sebek had an entire fit, but you quickly shut him and Lilia up so that you and Silver could continue wrapping their presents. You were struggling with wrapping the gifts and your boyfriend was struggling to stay awake, so you just looked up a video on Twisted Wonderland’s equivalent of YouTube. 

You should have bought gift bags at this point, you think, nearly ready to give up as you sat on the floor trying to figure it out. However, you feel someone slip the awkwardly wrapped item from your grasp and start to wrap it. Silver had a poker face as he undid the mess you got yourself into and smoothed out the wrapping paper before beginning. The lines were so sharp and pristine, probably a training exercise he has experience with to aid him in the area of patience.

Once he finished, he looked up and saw you staring in shock. He was about to question you when you let out a loud groan of annoyance and mumbled some expletives about how you just couldn’t get it right.

Silver just rolled his eyes and smiled before sitting behind you, you now sitting between his legs, and he reached around you to put his hands over yours as he guided you through wrapping the next item. It was a tad messier than the one he had just done, but it looked good enough, and you were completely fine with it. It didn’t look like total crap, and you were now cuddling with your knight in polyester armor (he was also wearing a sweater).

However, when you turned your head to thank him, you found that he had fallen asleep while leaning on you. You decided to let him lay there until you had finished, yourself getting better and better at wrapping gifts. You tried to not move around as much so as to not wake Silver up, and it seemed to be working. Eventually, you finally got through the entire pile of things you had purchased.

~~~~~~~~

He woke up on the couch in the Diasomnia lounge to you cleaning up a bit and putting the wrapping paper away. You saw that he was awake and you walked over to sit upon the coffee table.

Why is this man so goddamn beautiful??

That aside, he sat up slowly and stretched out, when you remembered something. You quickly rushed over to the main table between the two stairways and grabbed a present that you had wrapped. Luckily, Silver was sleeping when you wrapped it, and he didn’t seem to suspect anything. The royal green and silver wrapping paper beautifully contrasted each other, now that you thought about it.

Your knight turned to see what you were holding, watching as you perched yourself back on the coffee table. You gently handed him the gift with a smile, excited to see what he would think about it.

He delicately unwrapped it, not wanting to mess up the effort you put into wrapping his gift. It wasn’t perfectly done, but he didn’t care. It was wrapped by you and that was all that mattered. Eventually, he got to the box inside, and he opened the lid to find the same nutcracker from the store you both went to earlier.

Didn’t you put this back on the shelf?

“I may or may not have paid Ace a bit of money to purchase this for me behind your back just so it could remain a surprise. I already told you that it reminded me of you, so I decided to get it for you!” You explained, noticing his confusion.

He took the nutcracker out of the box and looked at its design and clothing even closer. Now that it wasn’t shoved in his face, he could admire the craftsmanship that went into the figure. 

“Should I have gotten you a music box with a ballerina inside?” You giggled at his question, shaking your head.

“No… But anyways, do you like it?”

“I love anything that you give me, Y/N.”

“While that’s cute, that’s not an answer.”

“Yes, I like it,” he relented, smiling upon seeing you excited. Maybe he should have gotten you a music box.

[bentosandbox]

Lappy fancam animatic blogging/production notes

now that wolfgirlyaoi is out on global its rambling time about my powerpoint presentation

Concept

Originally I wanted to do an (Tex & Lapp) animatic with the boss theme (broken wall/Signore dei Lupi .mp3) ever since the event dropped but I thought 1) by the time I finished anything someone else would have probably already done it first (lol, lmao even) 2) I remembered the song exists and how much i looped it then while listening to the group's new album drop and thought the lyrics fit Lapp a little too well and also doesn't end abruptly like the boss theme + was shorter so yea

initial stickman storyboard where i put down the lyrics with event dialogue/happenings that i felt would fit nicely together > hastily scribble the images that form in my head

storyboards were basically what i wanted to see (same rule as my comics) lol especially if they weren't shown in the event CGs, eg. there's a CG of the truck crashing into the courtroom so I didn't do that but they didn't mention her physical acting in that scene + the song I used has a bow/salute at that exact part in their live choreo with the very similar line so I wanted to do a homage even though-

-I was like it's going to be such a pain to figure out an economical hand twirl and bow but I have to do this I need to transplant the image in my brain onto the screen because official media did not do a—

Honestly still don't know if its a common phrase and action combo because I was having so much trouble finding external references that wasn't just scrubbing the live video over and over anyway

part of the storyboards were 'recycled' from comic drafts I did (of the chocolate scene because ofc) when the event was running on CN

Originally I wanted to draw Lapp feeding Texas for The Girlyaoi Funny but I wanted to reference the plaque you get which is a Creation of Adam reference right but I also saw people saying it's referencing the scene from Silence of the Lambs lol so...peel the layers to your liking!!

(The chocolate flavour choice was from asking my Columbian friends what the worst chocolate flavour they ever tried which was white coconut)

my sorry attempt at colour keys > final spreadsheet to keep track of progress and paste all the dialogue i put in

Art Direction

A bunch of shots/colour schemes are references to Måneskin's stuff or other media tehepero I'll just put a few here

At first I was going to limit red/blue to tex/lapp respectively but since Omertosa is blue I just did away with that rule and lapp gets to have both (and more!) these two colours have pretty obvious emotional readings I think but also

red = self blue = society Siracusa or: red = yaoi & blue = yuri

for the others:

Purple = Alberto/Saluzzo, its not orange like the fruit he keeps holding because see below; I needed the colour for something else LOL Also the Saluzzos are iirc nobility or whatever and they have purple hints in their clothes so I think it was a good fit anyway

Yellow/Orange = Its supposed to be representing the last word in the story which apparently, yostar went with 'Savagery' which is Correct I guess but (laments again about how nuance is lost in localisation because imo savagery has a more derogatory kind of connotation while I think 蛮荒 in context of the story also has a 'nature/untouched by civilisation' side to it) which is why Texas setting the house on fire was not (entirely) red but orange (and it complements the blues both visually and thematically) and it's yellow at the end when they're frolicking(?) in the wilderness lol

(these colour rules don't apply to the penglog shot and technically a few frames like the shot with shocked penance, the one right after and 'im just lappy' because...i forgor my own rules lol)

The greens/teals were just a reference to the shades in the 3DPV I think

The silhouette/general style was inspired from the 3D teaser thing they had at the beginning of the 3.5 anniversary stream and the card suits that I..forgot to move to the other layers which is why only the green one had them (supposed to be 1 per set 💀)

The clash bit is basically the same as the event CG but with a flipped camera/POV sorry for world's worst screenshot lmao. Couldn't imagine the poses in my head so I ended up posing 3d models in CSP pretty good posing practice

These shots got rendered extra because..they were the first frames I started on and I was still figuring out how much to simplify lol

I also posed the chairs shot for some inexplicable reason…my file was lagging so bad

Headcanon part (kind of)

The childhood flashback scene is probably the part I took the most liberties (headcanon) on since it's not explicitly canon like the rest...the sequence/how I connected the scenes itself to fabricate a timeline of her childhood was kind of inspired by some weibo post musing about how (iirc) texas's sweet tooth maybe came from when she was being fostered at casa Saluzzo and Lapp treating her like a pet essentially and giving her a lot of treats since...you know what happened to her actual pet hehe except maybe texas offered her a stick first and then Lappy just reciprocated endlessly because its one of the few 'acts' she knew that wasn't violence haha yeah this section was basically a stealth doujin sorry

It's mentioned that she was brought up as the ideal Siracusan or whatever and she does the cute doodle in the 3DPV so I thought she probably had the Forced Music Lessons as a kid (The music sheets are Bella Ciao and of course)

The bow choreo was the one thing i really wanted to animate but the music sheet segment (based on that one split second shot above) ended up being my favourite part even though compositing the motion was a mini hell on it's own (ended up compiling a long png to scroll by with the red doodles layered over)

Other things

I will never live down my (self-imposed) shame of misspelling the title (I fixed the title on youtube but its why the ending shot in the upload says ZittE e Buoni instead of ZittI e Buoni) don't rush your fancam in 10 days 😔

I didn't look through the entirety of the EN loc but Idk why they had Lappy say 'Then go.' to Texas when it's supposed to be more like 'Let's go.' as in, 'let's go together' as opposed to 'alright off you go to the greyhall alone' lmfao also her saying goodbye forever padre when addio is right there

I don't think I'm insane enough to do another ppt soon but man this pair really makes the 'imagines a whole music video while listening to music' part of my brain go wheee like first it was Starset's Manifest then Signore de Lupi then this and while working on this one i was thinking how Måneskin's Torna A Casa would be another good track

ok ty for reading #GIRLYAOIREAL

[uselesssomebody]

𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕣 - cedric diggory x reader

complete masterlist | harry potter masterlist

words || 𝟚𝕜

series masterlist || week to all hallows' eve

summary || in which the reader and cedric's friends like to play matchmaker

a/n || oh my god? more? but this time, it's part of a multifandom series! ➵ part of my 'week to hallows' eve' halloween countdown. check out the masterlist ^ ➵ i've never watched titanic; can you tell? ➵ i wrote this super late a night so please don't be mad if it is a little ass ➵ this was inspired by a convo with a friend but i realize that it is also veryyy similar to @creativepromptsforwriting halloween prompt (#418) & a audio on the g.w.a. subreddit so great minds think alike i.g. ➵ not yet proofread ➵ send me requests if you have ‘em. enjoy!

warnings || fluff

her friends had been quite adamant about the outfit that she was currently wearing. it was a period-type: long dress, hair pinned up into a half up-do. it was supposed to be the character of rose from the titanic. the red, seemingly expensive, fabric of her dress wrapped around her figure snugly, and she couldn’t help but find herself gazing just a bit too long at her own reflection in the mirror.

“move your hair out ‘f your face, hon.” she turned to look at her good friend, mavis williams, who was currently giddy at the thought of painting her friend’s face. she complied, pushing the straggling locks of hair on her face behind her ears. she tries to sit as still as possible as mavie attempted to place the light dust of blush on her cheeks and accentuated her eyes just slightly by adding a swipe of eyeliner to each. she marveled at her friend’s ability, knowing that she would have used much more time to complete the same task to the level at which her friend could.

after she was done, she stood up to smooth the wrinkles in her dress, grasping on the necklace at the vanity while mavie went on to do her own makeup - having dressed as cher from their collective favorite movie: clueless.

dottie had left about a half-hour ago to meet up with her ravenclaw friends, and martha had just left to go find her boyfriend. on the other hand, mavie and herself would meet with mavie’s hufflepuff boyfriend, and all three of them would head down to the gryffindor common room, where fred and george, with the help of angelina johnson, had organized a halloween party - advertised as transcending house boundaries, cause no one should be able to recognize anyone anyways.

she was excited to go, not seeing her own friends outside of classes that much and now finally getting a chance. she also did love the weasleys’ parties, a common sentiment shared through the school.

she watched as mavie finished up her own outfit, popping the signature stick of gum in her mouth, before - as if on cue - they both heard a knock at the door. mavie rises up, a smile she tries to suppress still beaming over her cheeks, as she opened the door and greeted her boyfriend. well, she says greeted - the girl pulled him into a jovial kiss almost immediately, having not been able to spend much time with him over the past few weeks. after the show, she joined the cute couple, and nodded at her friend’s boyfriend. he’s quick to greet her, friendly smile ever-present on his face.

“hey, connor! josh, right?” she refers to cher’s love interest in the movie, pointing at his boring-for-anyone-else outfit. truly, it didn’t work without the appearance of his girlfriend, but it didn’t really seem like the two of them would separate for much time tonight anyways.

as soon as they near the stairs, they can already hear the heavy bustling and chatter standard of a weasley party, seeing the common room flooded with people in all sorts of costumes as they ventured down. many were the standard: zombies, vampires, werewolves. there were a few fairies, elves and the like. then, there was an assortment of movie and tv characters. she glanced around for her friends, immediately finding dottie - who was in a white shirt and tight corset - with her ravenclaw friends, emulating a team of bloodthirsty pirates. martha went to greet her, with her boyfriend in tow, and she marveled at the cute outfit: baby and johnny from dirty dancing.

her friends were all talking amongst themselves, being shockingly distant to her and, for the life of her, she couldn’t tell why. deciding to ignore it, she broke away to go find the refreshments counter - a butterbeer had never sounded better. she filled a glass with the stuff - the sweet drink having been infused with something slightly more potent to really make this a party, and she absentmindedly glanced at who else was attending.

well, she says absentmindedly, but, truly, she’s looking for one person: cedric diggory. see, the girl had had an almost embarrassing crush on the boy for some time now, and the only people who knew that were her dorm-mates and close friends. half the reason she’d come to this party was because mavie had heard that he’d be here and, as pitiful as it was, she was really excited to see him.

“’lright there?” she’s broken out of her thoughts by a loud voice - voices. in the blink of an eye, she’s surrounded by hogwart’s double trouble, and fred and george both have somewhat expectant looks on their faces.

“hmm? yeah, yeah, i’m great! ‘t’s a nice party.” she nods back at them, plastering a smile to make it look like she was more tuned in to their conversation that she actually was.

“how come you sound surprised? all our parties are nice -” started fred, but george was quick to cut to the chase, knowing they had other guests to talk to (see: bother).

“we just wanted to say that you’ve got a cute outfit. pretty original of a couple this year, y’know? most of these other ones are pretty similar.” she’s nodding along, but, suddenly processing what they said, she’s a bit confused.

“couple? wait, what?” fred and george look at her for a moment, before looking at each other.

“uh, jack? like jack & rose?”

“yeah, we tend to zone out when dad puts muggle movies on but even we know that one.” then, suddenly fred smacks his brother’s shoulder.

“oh, george, she’s just messing with us,” if there was one thing the weasleys hated, it was getting beat at their own game of sarcasm, “good one, but you won’t pull fast one over good ol’ freddie that easily.” he laughs at his own comment, before him and his brother waved her off. except, the issue was that she truly had no idea what they were talking about. of course, she was well aware of the implication of jack when she was rose, but it was fairly obvious that she had come alone, right? and that jack, in fact, was not here with her?

she figured that the boys had just been messing with her, deciding to gulp down the rest of her butterbeer and make her way back to dottie. she was struggling with clipping on her corset as she spoke with a friend, so she went up behind her and helped her out.

“hey, dot.” she mumbles, and she tightens the clasp. her friend gives her a sweet smile of gratitude. suddenly, dot’s friend gasps and looks at her.

“oh my god, your guys’ costumes are so cute!” she smiles back at the friend, a little confused by her way of speaking but grateful nonetheless.

“yeah, haha, thanks. mavie really helped me out and, honestly, dot looks like she’s really gone all out for this -”

“oh, no, not dot!” the friend’s quick to clarify, “i mean the handsome jack to your beautiful rose.” she sent a playful wink to her confused face and, when she turns to look at dottie, she sees her suppressing a smile.

“dot? dot, what did you do?” she hisses to her friend, and all she does in response is shake her head.

“ask mavie and connor, it was their idea!”

“what was?” dot just shrugged. a little exasperated now, she left and set off on the quest to find mavis, infinitely more confused now than she was before.

as she weaved her way through the groups of people, she found herself looking back to apologize to someone whose toes she'd stepped on, prompting her to walk right into someone. they grasp at her biceps to steady her, a polite litany of apologies already leaving their mouth. as soon as she hears them speak, she recognizes them, hoping her ears haven’t gone too red.

“it’s - um, cedric, you’re fine. it was my fault, i wasn’t looking-” as she glances down to look at his own outfit, she stops. he does the same. for a moment, they’re both examining the other, the gears in their heads clicking into place with each second.

“connor…”

“i’m gonna kill mavie.” they both mutter the names of their traitors, before cedric looks up at her, and laughs lightly.

“god, i’m so sorry, this must be so awkward.” she immediately goes to shake her head, laughing as well.

“no! it’s not awkward. just…oh, mavie’s always been a bit extra about things like this.” she mumbles, trying to find a way to diffuse the situation. luckily, cedric’s much better at that then she is as, after taking a half-step back, he daintily grabs her hand in his and presses it lightly to his lips.

“rose.” he says it with affection, and she blinks, having to remind herself that it’s for the sake of the bit.

“jack.” she curtsies lightly in response, hoping the low light covers her blush.

“i was just about to get myself a drink, would you like one?” god, he’s such a damn gentleman, she thinks, before shaking her head.

“i’ve already had one, but i’ll go with you, if you don’t mind?” there’s the faintest hint of desperation in her voice, and she’s just hoping to god he doesn’t pick it up.

“that’d be lovely.” he holds his arm out for her, and she takes it delicately, knowing anything more would come off as too intimate. he’s really playing into the bit.

after getting himself a drink, they find seats near the edge of the room, the place slightly more reclusive and giving themselves an environment to talk.

“how’s your night been so far?” he asks conversationally. she sighs in faux exasperation.

“it’s felt pretty orchestrated, to be completely honest,” he laughs, and she does too, “y’know, mavie’s always trying to play matchmaker, but i usually figure out her ploys ahead of time.” he nods in agreeance.

“it’s the same with connor - he seems to be a bad influence on his girlfriend.” he says it in humor, with a fake accusatory tone.

“oh, i’m sure it’s the other way around.” there’s a beat of silence.

“we do make a cute couple.” he lingered on the word, before rephrasing, “a cute couple’s costume.” then, having noticed her face perk up at the first sentence and then again depress at the next, he attempts to hide a smile behind his glass, “i think we’d make a cute couple too.” she stares at him with narrow eyes for a moment.

“y’think so?” it’s a mumble, because she really, really hopes he isn’t playing games with her right now. he’s silent for a moment, before clearing his throat. his usual air of confidence had dwindled slightly, and she looked at him with big, questioning eyes.

“i’d - uh, i’d hope we make a cute couple.”

“you hope?” he laughs, before shaking his head and moving closer to her.

“i am trying to ask you out here. can ya, uh, help me out?” the last bit’s a joke, but she’s too busy processing his first sentence to notice.

“you - you want to ask me out?” she’s baffled, having assumed that all her previous affections towards him had been one-sided.

“i mean, if you’d let me. ever since connor introduced us, i thought you were just so sweet and i - uh - i guess i just didn’t have the courage before.” still in shock, she doesn’t answer for another moment, and he looks down at the ground, “i’m sorry, you can just say no, i didn’t -”

“no!” he deflated at the exclamation, ready to accept the rejection, before she shook her head, taking his hand, “no, i mean yes! i’d love to go out with you.” he looks confused, and it makes her laugh, “cedric, please. i would really enjoy going on a date with you.” he smiles, pressing another soft kiss to her hand.

“y’think we should tell them that this worked?” he said after a moment, in reference to mavie and connor. her eyes widened.

“oh, absolutely not!”

[ask-gale-waterdeep]

Gale, one of my oldest and dearest friends.

How are you, truly? And how are things in waterdeep? I hear that the city is beautiful at this time of year. It is so warm here, that we have been able to grow actual crops outside the cottage! My parents say that I should get out a little, see some more of the world but really, I feel as though we did enough of that on our adventures. That is not to say I don't miss it, sometimes. Do you, ever?

I'd love to meet Tara. I have 8 cats now, I have become very fond of them. None of them can talk, at least, not in tongue most would understand, but I manage to.

Anyway, as this is probably the most you have ever heard me say, or indeed, write, i will finish up. I'm sure you have a book or five to get back to.

Shadowheart

Dear Shadowheart,

Forgive me if I haven’t answered your letters in a while, I was quite busy, but it brings me joy to hear of you. I’m doing quite well, and things in Waterdeep have been doing…shall I say, splendid? It is the City of Splendors, after all, I wouldn’t assume nothing less. And oh, it is quite wonderful to hear that you can grow crops now, how delightful!

Though…I do also miss our times together, truthfully. Sitting beside the fire, with a bowl of soup from the pot — just barely enough for all of us, yet somehow we made do, getting into mindless brawls of words, simply resting in our tents with nothing but our thoughts…I know it sounds like I’m against what was once our life, but truthfully, I enjoyed it. Well, me and Bella both — you still remember her, yes? The half-elf woman, strong fighter on the field, with plenty shades of red in her hair and white streaks…truthfully, I’ve been rather drawn to her, my friend. She’s…captivated me. Even though she tends to eat more like an orc and fight like a man and, hells, sometimes she scares me with how she swings that new blade of hers. But…I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Ah, forgive me, I believe I rambled too much — well, wrote far too much on the paper. But it brings me joy to hear that you are doing well with your felines. Believe me, despite not speaking common, they have their own language — all you really need is a speak with animals scroll, simple as that. It’s quite fascinating, really.

I can’t wait to get another letter from you, Shadowheart, and yes, I do believe my tomes and books are calling to me.

Sincerely,

— Gale

(@radglitter note: ILL MAKE ANOTHER SIDE BLOG FOR BELLA, AKA ISABELLA GILDERGALE)

[andrigyn]

Chapter Five

Putting out two chapters this week for @nestaarcheronweek !

The Vanserras don’t exactly roll out the red carpet for their new house guest, but Nesta is fascinated nevertheless by Autumn. Cassian has trouble coping with the fact that Nesta is now gone, but he must set that aside to deal with the rebellion in Illyria.

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Link to AO3

Nesta recalled Eris’s parting words again, when he told her that she ought to look her best. She wasn’t sure what precisely he meant by that, but she picked out one of her nicer gowns to wear. It was pewter colored, with a neckline that swept just under her collarbone. The dress was simple, yet it was fitted enough in the bodice to accentuate the prominent curves of her chest and waist. She also decided to keep her hair in its usual coronet, but sat in front of the vanity to pull it loose and rebraid it. By the time she was finished, there wasn’t a strand out of place. 

She could tell by the time on the clock that Eris would be there any minute, and soon she heard his quiet knock at the door. “Come in,” she said. 

Nesta looked up from the mirror to steal a glance. He had changed into a more formal double breasted green coat with a white shirt peeking out from underneath. His hair had been tamed, and his pants were more fitted than what she’d seen him in earlier. It wasn’t just the clothes that made him look so utterly aristocratic, but they did help. 

She rose from her seat. “Do I look acceptable?” 

Eris’s gaze moved from her head all the way down to the hem of her dress. “Gray is such a drab color, but you are lovely enough to make it look elegant.” 

She raised her eyebrow and pursed her lips. “Flattery will get you nowhere with me, Vanserra.” 

“I don’t do flattery, I only tell the truth. We should go, we’ll be late as it is.”

She walked up to his side, and once he knew she was ready, he led her into the corridor. 

“Another piece of advice I have for you,” he said, flashing those deep brown eyes in her direction as they walked side by side, “is to stay silent unless you are addressed directly.” 

“Fine by me,” Nesta said brusquely. She thought she would have preferred scooping her eyeballs out with a rusty spoon than talking to them anyways. What could she possibly have to say? She found it exceedingly difficult to find any common ground with the inner circle, and the Vanserras were likely cut from the same cloth. How foolish she had been when she first came to Prythian, and assumed that her expertise as a human socialite would help her here. 

“I’ll do my best to answer for you when possible, because my father in particular can be rather sensitive, it would take you decades to learn every little thing that could set him off. Here, take my arm,” he said, extending his forearm. 

Nesta linked hers with his, and felt through the layers of fabric how solid it was. She couldn’t help but wonder what his arms might look like. He didn’t seem like the type to parade around shirtless like some certain males she knew, which made her all the more fascinated. The pair strode into the dining room together. It was a grand space with a vaulted ceiling. Colorful tapestries and pendants covered most of the stone walls, illuminated by the soft glow of candlelight. It was even more impressive to Nesta, because she now knew that each of those flames was lit by magic. 

Judging by the full table, they were the last to arrive. The Lord and Lady of Autumn both sat at the two opposing heads of the table, and Eris’s five brothers occupied the remaining places. There were two empty seats to Beron’s right, which she assumed were meant for the newly engaged couple. Eris led them there, and pulled out her chair. She sat down, and so did he.   

A servant came around with wine to fill everyone’s glasses, and Nesta instantly felt on edge. She was not allowed to drink anymore, and her first thought was that this could have been some kind of elaborate test. She assured herself that nobody from the Night Court was here to tell her what she could or could not drink, but even so, she did not want to take that first sip. There was no telling whether or not she’d be able to control herself if she introduced alcohol again. But on the other hand, it might be strange, rude even, if she refused. So she reached for the glass, and took the smallest sip she thought she’d ever taken in her life. She still felt guilty afterwards. 

“You’re late,” Beron remarked in an unimpressed fashion. He looked at Eris with a casual disappointment. 

“My apologies, father, we lost track of time,” Eris said. Hearing how docile his voice became once they were in Beron’s presence was unsettling to say the least. 

“But you’ve brought us the lovely Nesta Archeron, who needs no introduction.” The High Lord looked directly at her when he spoke, with a piercing gaze that made her feel uneasy. He stared at her so intently, that maintaining eye contact felt unnatural. She did it anyway though, and even offered an affable smile. 

“Does she speak? I recall her having more of a mouth on her the last time we met,” he said, turning to face Eris, who was looking at Nesta. She knew that she’d have to say something, so she let the words fall out. 

“I truly am quiet, please understand that stress got the best of me during the war. Once you get to know me better, you’ll see that.” 

“Are you questioning my judgment?” Beron asked. His tone shifted, but it was impossible to discern whether he was being sarcastic or not. 

Nesta wanted to throw her head back and laugh at the thought of someone so easily offended by an explanation that he wasn’t owed in the first place. There were so many things she wanted to say, as he was practically inviting her insults with a statement like that. However, before she could say anything, Eris kicked her leg softly with his foot under the table. She could sense that it meant something along the lines of ‘Stop talking’.

“Of course that isn’t what she meant. Nesta is deeply regretful of the way she acted during the High Lord’s meeting, and wishes for you to give her another chance,” Eris said. 

Nesta nodded in agreement, but she couldn’t miss the opportunity to kick the male, even if it was petty. Eris’s face didn’t change at all as he anticipated Beron’s response. She didn’t have to look around the table to know that the rest of the family was collectively staring her down, she could just feel it. 

“It shouldn’t matter anymore, Prythian was reborn after the war with Hybern. There’s no need to carry grudges into this new era,” Beron said. 

Nesta thought that was a strange thing to say. She took a real sip of her wine this time, because it seemed like she was going to need something in her system. Dinner was served eventually, and she took a few bites before pushing the rest of the food around her plate in silence. There was more conversation, but no one addressed her again, so she stayed out of it. 

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ 

After the meal was over, Nesta and Eris left the dining room. Once they were in the hallway and out of earshot, Eris turned to her. “You need to choose your words more carefully.”

“That was me choosing my words carefully.” 

“Try harder next time, then.” 

Nesta scowled at him. “Why don’t you try harder to divert the attention away from me in the first place? Isn’t that what you said you’d do anyways?”

“You’re a novelty, get used to it. Or better yet, use it to your advantage.” 

“There are no advantages to speak of, I’d give it all up if I only had the chance,” she snapped. Just the insinuation that there was any benefit to being thrown into the Cauldron filled her with rage. It had broken her completely, to the point where she cried every time she took a bath, she drank to forget about that power lying dormant inside of her, begging to be used, as it slowly drove her mad. 

“Don’t be a fool, Nesta. You have been gifted with magic beyond what I could ever dream of possessing.” 

“But I cannot wield its power, Amren gave up on training me months ago,” she said. This was true, albeit not the whole truth. She did spend many long days with Amren, who took her on as a project out of curiosity. Through all of her exercises and tests, she was never able to perform, although Nesta had been holding back. 

“I never imagined that such an ancient being could be so impatient, but perhaps Amren just isn’t a very good teacher.” 

“The power has surfaced before, multiple times even,” she explained, “But it seems to be triggered by strong emotions, like anger, and I have no control over it.” Nesta recalled the first incident, when she incinerated her room in the Townhouse with silver flames. The fire blazed, and threatened to engulf the entire building before Rhysand put it out. All caused by one measly nightmare. 

“Would you like me to engineer a situation designed to make you angry, then? Is that what you’re asking?” 

“No, I don’t want that. You don’t understand how dark this magic is, it’s unnatural.” 

Eris smirked. “I urge you to reconsider, but when you change your mind and decide you do want my help, just say so. I still owe you a tour though, don’t I?”

“You do,” Nesta said, and those were the only words he needed to hear before his demeanor shifted. Perhaps he’d broach the subject of her magic again soon, but in that moment all he was concerned about was showing her the house. 

She thought that Eris must have loved the sound of his own voice, because in every room they visited, he regaled her with some story about it. She couldn’t complain, because she rather liked listening to him. This house was ancient. It contained so much history, because so much life had been lived here. 

“And this is the main ballroom, which is mainly used for special occasions.” 

Nesta nodded as they walked past the tall, arched entrance. They traveled to the end of the hall, and down another set of stairs. 

“And this is the library,” he said, pushing the door open to reveal a spacious room full of books. It was larger than the library she had come to know in the House of Wind, and there were no priestesses to tend to it either. The dark green walls were barely visible behind the rows and rows of dark wooden bookshelves. A large couch and some chairs sat in front of a large fireplace, and fortunately Nesta didn’t hear a fire crackling and blazing inside of it. 

“Nobody should bother you in here, my brothers are not exactly the intellectual type. They are far too busy with their hunting, drinking, and womanizing.” Eris rolled his eyes. 

This place would seem empty without Gwyn to keep her company, but at least she wouldn’t have to stack and organize books any longer. There were many things about this realm that she ought to know, but didn’t. She was allowed to be ignorant in Velaris, because the place was just an elaborate bubble, but those days were over. Now, she had endless time to conduct research, or to see how the romance collection here compared to the House of Wind. 

“And there’s one more thing,” Eris said, “Do you like dogs?” 

She nodded. 

“I should introduce you now then, it’s not often that they meet someone new… unless they’re attacking,” he said. 

Nesta’s eyes widened, and she couldn’t help that his words put her on edge. Despite this, she followed him through the halls and out the door. They came to a vast yard enclosed by a simple log fence. There was probably no fence that could restrain a magical dog, so she guessed it was a pasture for cows, or goats at one time. When she looked out, she counted twelve of them darting to and fro, more rapidly than she had seen any animal move before. 

“Don’t worry, Nesta, they only attack if I say so,” he said. Once the hounds realized their master was present, they ran immediately to his side. “So don’t piss me off.” 

She looked at him intently, and he only laughed. “Go on, you can pet them.” 

Nesta extended a shaky hand to stroke one of them, and once she felt comfortable enough that it would not bite, she scratched behind its ear. 

“Phobos is his name,” Eris added, although she wasn’t paying much attention to him. Nesta was fully focused on the hound in front of her, and once it seemed that she had shown she was to be trusted, the rest of them approached and nuzzled against her. She couldn’t help but smile at the attention, and there was genuine joy behind it. 

“Well they’re very cute,” Nesta said. Her voice was raised a few octaves, and she was still facing away. Eris couldn’t tell whether she was talking to him, or the hounds, but he looked pleased to see her so happy. 

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

It did not take Cassian long to realize that his days were now empty without Nesta by his side. It didn’t matter that he had spent hundreds of years without her company, because everything changed the moment that he first laid eyes on her. The regret that he felt for not trying harder to prevent her from being sent away in the first place weighed on him so greatly that nothing could ease his stress. The reason was simple: before she left, the mating bond snapped. 

It snapped into place, and all Cassian could think about was her, how he could stay close to her, touch her, smell her. If only they were still in the House of Wind, then they could, well… 

He was certain that Rhys could sense it as well, which was why the High Lord didn’t just tell him to go away. No, he pushed through the barriers of Cassian’s mind to compel him to leave, before he could act on the violent desires that now gripped him. And the thoughts of Nesta still overwhelmed him, but he had no means of seeing her, as the Autumn wards were too powerful for him to fly through uninvited. For now, his only outlet was training, although even Azriel was quickly growing tired of sparring so frequently. 

It wouldn’t be long before Rhys gave him something productive to do, although they continued to train the Valkyries. His orders were to travel to Illyria, and bring the High Lord’s royal decree to the camp leaders whom Az claimed were most disloyal. It had to be the general who was sent, because there was nobody else that was trusted and liked by the Illyrians, even if Cassian had already lost most of their respect. There was still time, after all, to quell the revolutionary spirit that was spreading in the north before blood was spilled. 

That was why he sat across from Devlon now, in a drafty tent, trying his best to explain why he should listen to his High Lord. The absurdity of the entire situation was made evident by the fact that Rhys would not simply come here himself, although Cassian noticed how reclusive he was becoming. He was not as difficult to spot as Feyre these days, but his absence was felt regardless. If the Illyrians decided that his focus was drawn elsewhere, why wouldn’t they rebel? 

“Things are not looking good,” Devlon explained, “I don’t recommend you travel further north, you won’t be welcomed by any of the camp leaders. They see you as a traitor..” 

“But I have brought their grievances before their High Lord, and he has agreed to the following concessions, in order to avoid a civil war,” Cassian said, passing the signed piece of paper over to Devlon. He inspected it for a moment before shaking his head in disapproval. 

“Lowering their taxes isn’t enough, why would they care about this when there is talk of forming an independent country? There would be no taxes at all then, no troop quotas… You’re better off touring the southern camps, and convincing them to remain loyal to the crown. This is a mockery-”

It was true that the south was more prosperous, and therefore far less likely to risk their security in a bid for independence. Not only did they have more flat land suitable for farming, but their camps resembled something more like the towns or large cities in other courts. They had real buildings, and were far more industrialized than their neighbors to the north, thanks to capital investment from Velaris and the Hewn City. However, the northern camps were not to be underestimated when it came to combat. 

“Those were not my orders,” Cassian said. 

Devlon raised an eyebrow. “I suppose I cannot stop you, but at least take one of my men with you if you insist on going. There’s safety in numbers.” 

He nodded in reply. Azriel would have journeyed this far north with Cassian, but he didn’t want to ask that of him. The trip would be sure to bring up old memories for the shadowsinger that ought to stay buried. 

“Balthazar!” the camp leader shouted, and a young male walked through the entrance to the tent. He was of average height and build, but his face had a boyish quality to it. 

“This is my companion? He looks like a child. Has he even completed the Rite yet?” Cassian scoffed. 

“Looks aren’t everything, general. He is to participate in the Blood Rite this year, but he is a skilled warrior who hails from farther north, so he will be an asset to you.” 

“I was born and raised in Stansonview, sir,” Balthazar said. He stood straight, almost too straight. Cassian wondered if he fought in the war, or if he was yet untested by battle. Although this mission didn’t require combat, the Lord of Bloodshed’s presence was meant to be a show of strength on Rhys’s behalf, and Balthazar didn’t quite look the part. 

“It’s your lucky day then, because that’s stop number three on my list. You can tell your mother how much you’ve missed her,” Cassian said. He rose from his chair and clapped the younger male on the back. “Are you ready to leave?” 

“Give me an hour to gather my things,” he explained. 

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

As soon as Balthazar was ready, the pair left. The trip would take a day and a half, so they spent hours and hours soaring in the air above the rugged terrain of Illyria. It was impossibly cold, but Cassian didn’t mind. In fact, this was exactly the type of distraction he needed so that he couldn’t focus on the fact that his mate was with another male. He could see it all unfolding so clearly, Eris would lie to her like the snake he was. He would turn her against the Night Court, and seduce her. Surely he would want to keep the female for himself, even after Beron was killed, because she was made. No, Cassian would raise hell before he allowed that to happen, and he would have the support of his family. Rhys would never stand by as his brother was separated from his mate. 

Once dusk fell, he signaled to Balthazar that they should stop flying for the day. Once the two males landed at the clearing, they began setting up camp. 

Balthazar stood above the pile of sticks he had just gathered, and worked at starting a fire. He glanced over at the general, who was pitching his tent. “You’re awfully quiet,” he said. 

“What would you have me say? You could very well be a spy for all I know.” 

The younger male shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s not everyday I’m asked to accompany the Lord of Bloodshed on a mission. I think that if I didn’t say anything, my friends would never let me hear the end of it.” 

“You’re little more than a boy, you’ll meet people far more interesting than me in your lifetime,” Cassian said. 

They finished setting up camp, ate a quick dinner, and retired early. At the crack of dawn the next morning, they set out again. The plan was to start in Windhaven, and move from camp to camp until they reached the northernmost settlement, but Telpont would be a good place to start. Cassian anticipated that they might not be too far gone. Perhaps they would listen to reason. 

Once they arrived, they were led by the sentries guarding the border to the only stone building in town, where the camp leader Faolan resided. The older, graying male was seated behind a table, which was covered in maps. Cassian walked through the room slowly, until he was standing at the edge of the table with Balthazar to his side. 

“I should have ordered my men to shoot you down from the skies when they saw you,” Faolan said. 

“But you didn’t, perhaps because you know that they are not capable,” Cassian said. His austere tone let the male know that he was indeed serious, although it was mainly his physical size that the general relied on to intimidate others. 

Faolan scoffed. “What I know is that life amongst the high Fae has made you soft. My men could kill you and the boy that you’ve brought along without breaking a sweat.” 

This type of posturing was not unusual among Illyrian males. Cassian wondered if people truly did think of him as weak, and made a mental note to ask Az and his shadows. This reputation that he had built for himself was all he had. He was certainly not of noble birth, and he depended on Rhys for all of the money and companionship that he did have. The only person who was truly his was Nesta, and the Cauldron has decided to play a cruel joke and rip her away as soon as he recognized the bond.

“Enough pleasantries, I’ve brought you a list of concessions from your High Lord.” 

Faolan laughed. “Concessions? Your Lord has nothing to offer me. Have you considered what your father might say if he were here, if he could see his spineless son?” 

Cassian was fuming at the mention of a father he would never know, who never had the opportunity to be proud or ashamed of his son. However, he didn’t let his temper get this best of him this time. He took the letter and slid it over to Faolan with a blank stare. “Don’t worry about what my dead father might think, worry about your people and their future.” 

“Believe me, I am,” he said, “Because I respect you and your position, I will allow you to stay the night, but you are to leave first thing in the morning. Do not return, and tell your High Lord that the people of Telpont do not find his terms acceptable.”

Tag List: @tuzna-pesma-snova​ , @majestythewraith​ , @acotardeservesbetter​ , @joonsbratz 

[sebastianshaw]

Head feels better so I finished up my Hellfire Gala look for Makkari. Honestly, I don’t like this much? I might do another when I get done with MerMay.  While Ajak’s costume history had a lot to draw from, Makkari’s history is just THIS and THIS and I didn’t find it very inspiring. I wanted to do something that wasn’t just red and white on her again, but I also wanted it to have meaning and reference to her as well. Kirby, their creator, retconned two of his previous creations as having actually been Makkari all along; Mercury of Red Raven Comics, and the aforementioned Hurricane. Mercury’s costume was solid gold and Hurricane’s was a bright blue, so I used those! The pattern is from the one on her current costume’s abdomen, but in gold instead of white. Makkari had notable interaction with the Ancient Egyptians, Ancient Greeks, and Ancient Persians (specifically the Achaemenid Empire era when they were the chariot driver for King Darius in the 6th century CE) so I looked at the clothing of all those cultures and took common elements from the. Mainly, the long flowy shape and draping, as well as the sort of poncho-like top, which can be found in variations in all three. They also had many adventures in WWII as the superhero “Hurricane” so I added 1940s accessories from the Western world: the gloves and the snood (decorative hair net). They were a doctor in Gaiman’s run, so I based her necklace on a stethoscope, and the tiara is based on the orange visor of her current costume. Gaiman also wrote that the Ancient Egyptians took Makkari for Osiris (yes, problematic, I didn’t write it, ok?) and my dumb ass remembered that as Thoth, so I based her hair on the shape of Thoth’s head.  Like I said, I just don’t love this? It looks more “low budget Medieval Times” than high fashion in a sci-fi setting, and more than that, it just doesn’t seem as aesthetically pleasing as I’d like. So I’ll be giving her another shot next month. But here’s the beta tester anyway!

[puppys-rhythm-heaven]

i got bored and so out of adhd impulsiveness i compiled a list of random rhythm heaven facts that i think are neat but don't see anyone talk about so uh. enjoy i guess. :3

there's a few differences in cosmic dance between tengoku and megamix. most noticeable is the fact that in tengoku, the pause in the middle is a random length, while in megamix, it's always the same length (and also longer than on tengoku's ost for some reason), which is due to how the music's stored (that's all the wiki says-). less noticeable and also idk why the wiki deems this noteworthy is that in tengoku, cosmic girl's sitting animation has her facing forward, but in megamix, she faces to the left. riveting, i know. even more riveting is that in tengoku, during cosmic girl's posing(/turning i guess-) animation, her socks shorten in length. these are both still on the wiki by the way-

the color of the space dancers' hands is inconsistent and yes i know how weird of a sentence that is. in tengoku, they're consistently yellow in-game, including in the epilogues, with the same going for in space dance itself as well as the icon in megamix; however, elsewhere in megamix, including the art used in-game and the epilogues, they're white, with the same going for their official art from tengoku's website. given that this doesn't apply to the paddlers at all and they're consistently white for them i feel like they are meant to be white but idk. also for some reason this is on space dance's wiki page and not the space dancers' page and idk why.

i think the existence of voice tap is pretty common knowledge? but just to go over it anyways, in ds, there's unused songs called seqarc_tap1 and seqarc_tap2. idk how we got voice tap from those. but anyways, the cues from them are reused in several games' japanese audio, namely space soccer, board meeting, fever karate man 2, and pajama party. also in fever there's unused sprites for tap troupe that look like ds' art style so it's possible that this could somehow be related to tap troupe idk why they'd port the sprites to fever and then completely remake it tho tbh klsfdjsklfdsf-

most of the singers for ds' korean lyrical songs aren't known, due to rhythm sesang releasing after the cd with all the other languages' songs coming out. notice how i said "most." the korean singer for that's paradise is known. through like, THE most unconventional source: a youtube comment on a video with the korean version of airboarder. i'm not joking. this is hilarious to me-

okay rapidfire round of character names: the tap trial girl is named yuka, the pajama party girl is named mako, the vegetables in rhythm tweezers are hair vegetables and the onion specifically is harry onion, the catchy tune guys are alaline and plaline, the street (basketball court??? the rhythm item calls him a street so-) in fruit basket is named courtney, the tiny ghosts (in big rock finish) are named boo-boo (the player one), ecto (the green one) and spooky (the red one), i had to check but the sumo brothers are individually named toba kaido (the blue one) and tenno hondate (the red one), why is this the kind of knowledge ingrained in my mind-

side note but do you ever think about how the space dancers aren't ever actually referred to as that in english. like they'd definitely be called that but megamix never refers to them by name so. anyways.

though also speaking of that in the korean version of megamix, fruit basket 2's rhythm item description states that "There is a table tennis club belonging to the Space Dancers in the gym next door." i think that's neat but also fruit basket 2 is like way before space dance sfldjfdsklsfjdklfsd-

during the zoom-out in flock step, the planet from rhythm rally 2 that looks like a paddler head can be seen and megamix forgot to actually change it accordingly to cosmic rhythm rally's redesign. it's barely noticeable in gameplay though so who cares really-

in the japanese version of ds, in lockstep, during the second farthest zoom out, during the offbeats, there's a noticeable amount of missing pixels on the left side of the screen. like it's super noticeable how did they miss this- also also another lockstep fun fact: in ds, the last ten steps don't actually count, meaning you can miss them during a perfect and still get the perfect. megamix removed that though because they hate fun (/j i'm guessing it was a mistake in ds).

in the korean versions of the games, lots of things are redesigned due to association with japanese culture, such as the wandering samurai being redesigned, shrimp shuffle's prologue and epilogues being recolored, and other things. the most interesting of these is ninja bodyguard, though; in megamix, the ninjas are redesigned as you'd expect,,, but only in ninja bodyguard, and not in their cameo in freeze frame. i'm not sure if they just forgot to redesign them or if it's to keep it consistent with ds.

there's lots of neat facts relating to rhythm sesang/the korean versions of the games tbh. for example, rhythm sesang wii is inconsistent with what language it uses for audio; some games use english audio (screwbot factory, see-saw, air rally, catch of the day, launch party, bossa nova), some use japanese audio (donk-donk, cheer readers, mochi pounding), while most do have korean dubs. the songs are also all kept in english, though the lyric cards have korean translations.

in exhibition match, the city in the background during the zoom-out is a grayscale image of new york city pre-9/11. i have no idea why. rhythm heaven has new york real??? (not clickbait)

basically every rhythm heaven lyrical song has a full version, with the exceptions of karate rhythm (tengoku karate man's song), bon odori, bon dance, that's paradise, and sono hitotsubu no ōkina namida ni wa (machine remix's song), but of these, the only two to have english versions are thrilling! is this love? (in fan club 2) and i'm a lady now (since it's always being in english). wack.

also speaking of karate rhythm the literal only source for its name is, of all games, wizard's waltz's reading material, rhythm poem collection. megamix doesn't give it a name. and it also doesn't call tears of a dog ninja by name which annoys me to no end-

tengoku remix 1, 2 and 4 have unused full versions that aren't used in game. if you thought tengoku remix 1 was long, well lemme tell you, the full version is FIVE MINUTES LONG. could you imagine if it was the full length in-game- oh also i think it's fairly common knowledge but it's still neat to me: there's an unused version of tengoku remix 1 called dance lesson 1, which has tap trial instead of rhythm tweezers and is also longer than remix 1 is in-game. the name is presumably because the remixes' music was used to train the development team's sense of rhythm by having them dance to it. as you do-

yea i have brainrot-

[brainrotdotorg]

how did you treat the skills in your first playthrough? i happened to call them babe (gender neutral) whenever i was upset with an outcome. as someone who savescummed a lot, due to their poor stats, phys int and authority were the common targets of this (which i feel they would hate tremendously)

honourable mentions of this are:

trying to spice up the anodic dance music. everyone slowly and deliberately looking to phys int only for his ass to go 'hm? dunno anything about that son. you should go play sports instead.' i think about the way he says 'mmm...discus :)' at least three times a week

trying to approve your authority to titus. the chances of succeeding both the authority white check and the composure red check (with deals a whopping -2 to the kim reputation thing if you fail it and did not talk to kim about klaasje earlier, which is easy to do) is low with my stats. authority got most of the babygirling because he was being pampered with skill points, yet i was so tired by the time i finished i couldn't even let titus call me a good boy :(

i won't even talk about the savoir faire check for your cloak. i should be compensated for the emotional high of finally succeeding that check with my pants on, only for volitions ass (who was also pampered) to whine that im no titan of volition, forcing me to sit in the chair, almost die from the health damage, then MORALE damage bc of the gun thing.

having internalised 'the precarious world', gotten all the modifiers for it, and wearing as many stat boosts as i could, resulting in a 97% chance of success, only for authority to STILL proudly tell me that the most hardcore thing in the world was racism

the two hit combo of wearing the moralintern pants bc they were the only other ones i had, and then volition smugly insisting i'm 'normal' depsite already being on the communism quest (that he advocated for...), and then empathy popping up right after anyway to lecture me on moralism as everyone swoons about it, leaving me and echem like 🧍‍♂️🐙

the rhetoric orb that exists just to damage your morale. like to imagine rhetoric dramatically leaned against vol when they didn't expect it and they fell over

i hate these gay idiots so much. would not trade them for the world <3

absolutely love each of these bits. went back to listen to the discus line just because you reminded me of it lmaoooo its good shit. mmmm. discus.

i cant remember any specific instances of the skills wacky antics (other than the ones ive mentioned lots in the past) But like. as a whole on my first playthrough i also savescummed a lot lol . i also called them nicknames and pretty much everyone got a "girl! (positive)" or "Girl....(negative)" i definitely failed certain checks over and over to only be like "DUDE! PHYS INT WORK WIITH ME HERE!!!!!!"

[the-travelling-witch]

"King Deshret and the Three Magi" Rambles

Okay so, I just finished “King Deshret and the three Magi” and naturally I´m having some thoughts. So what is my first course of action? Dumping all my brain worms here for the Internet to see, obviously.

Is this a theory? No.

Is this particularly well thought through? Also no.

Will I probably wake up in the morning regretting my whole life decisions because this super uneducated and there are possibly already 500 theories covering everything I'm about to say way better than I ever could? Most likely.

With this enthusiasm, let's get into it.

[Disclaimer 1: Spoilers for the Sumeru/ 3.1 Archon Quest]

[Disclaimer 2: I only played the Archon Quest, not Cyno´s Story Quest or the whole underground clearance thingy]

[Disclaimer 3: It´s been a while since I concerned myself with Egyptian mythology, so don't take anything I´m about to say for pure gold and do your own research if you´re interested.]

[Disclaimer 4: If you want to discuss your own thoughts, opinions or theories, you´re welcome to but I implore you to do so politely; if criticism is to be levelled at me or someone else's point of view, it is to be done constructively]

The two main centres for my brain worms are, one, the main story/ archon quest and, two, our favourite former General Mahamatra, Cyno. There are also some miscellaneous tidbits which caught my eye when I stumbled over them but they are nothing major, mostly just name sakes or little anecdotes. Hmm, where best to start?

Main Story/ Archon Quest

The first thing that got my attention was the name “King Deshret”. In Ancient Egyptian History/ Mythology the “Deshret” was the formal name for the Red Crown of Lower Egypt and for the desert Red Land on either side of Kemet (Black Land), the fertile Nile river basin. It´s counterpart was the Hedjet, or the White Crown of pharaonic Upper Egypt. Together, they form the double crown Pschent.

Personally, I think these two crowns represent the people of the desert and the people of Sumeru/ the Akademiya. Just as their name sake implies, the followers of the Scarlet King symbolise the Red Crown of Lower Egypt while the ruling Akademiya represents the Pharaohs of Upper Egypt. Could the end of the new story quest and the common goal between the Eremites and the followers of the Dendro Archon mark the formation of the Pschent, where both the Deshret and the Hedjet are unified?

Then who might the sages be in our story? This is more of a loose guess but they could possibly represent Apophis the Great Serpent and the embodiment of Chaos (Isfet or Asfet) within Egyptian mythology. To understand Isfet we must also look at its counterpart Ma´at, one of the key principles in Ancient Egypt. As a goddess, Ma´at represents peace, balance, truth, justice, and, most importantly, order (Ma´at will also be important when we talk about Cyno).

The sages trying to create their own god could well be seen as an act to shake nature's balance and throw the natural order of things into chaos. Therefore it could be argued that just as Apophis, who tried to eat the sun god Ra on his nightly travel through the Duat (underworld), the sages too are an embodiment of chaos. Just that they´re not trying to eat Kusanali… I hope…

And who defended Ra on his bark? The other gods of the Ennead!! I´m just on a roll with these transitions today

If you thought what I said before was far-fetched, you´re absolutely not ready for what I´m about to do next, which is basically the written form of these videos where people use bow characters to do their dailies or kill Timmie´s pigeons from 10 teleporters away. Jup, that's how blind I´m shooting now. Anyway–

First of all, King Deshret. We already talked about him but is there a god or a figure within Egyptian mythology we could relate to him? Although the knowledge he shared with the people ended up driving them mad (and led to the development of Eleazar?), I don´t think it was necessarily done with malicious intent (even good will can cause disaster after all), so I wouldn´t associate the Scarlet King with Isfet. He did sacrifice himself for the safety of the survivors in the end.

I was thinking he might draw inspiration from Seth (or Set), god of the desert, earthquakes, thunderstorms, foreign lands and the likes. He was powerful and often frightening but also protected the dead on their way to the afterlife. After he killed Osiris and tried to become ruler of Egypt, he was defeated by Horus and adopted by Ra. When Apophis attacked Ra, Seth was one of the main protectors of the sun god. Tl;dr: he did something stupid and later rectified said stupidity…it does sound familiar if you ask me.

[Also the depictions in the Mausoleum of King Deshret…could they be inspired by the seth animal?? I didn´t take any screenshots which I could honestly kick myself for now but I can kind of see a resemblance?? Or was it not a snout and more of a beak?? I NEED ANSWERS AAHHH]

I am a little torn on Kusanali though. On one side, I can see her representing Thoth god of the moon (and many other nice things like magic…or maths), master of knowledge and patron of scribes. She did use the image of the moon to describe herself in her own metaphors and the rest certainly fits too.

With what I said previously, she might also draw inspiration from Ra though, considering her role in the story and potentially having to be defended from the sages. Maybe you could say she was the bright embodiment of the sun when she was still Rukkhadevata but now that she takes the form of Kusanali she is more in the background like the moon/ shining through her past deeds as Rukkhadevata? Deities always seem to be affected by how people perceive them, whether they pray to them or reject them, so it wouldn´t be impossible for her to change so drastically now that her own people have forgotten about her and the Akademiya is trying to replace her; it´s only a working theory though…

The goddess Neith is also associated with wisdom and weaving fates but I don´t really want to bring her into this, too. Other than wisdom I can´t see a lot of parallels between her and Kusanali as of now but who knows?

Before I lose you, let´s move to something that will catch your attention, I'm sure of it…

Cyno

I´ll start with the most on the nose (or snout?) point: our favourite jackal-headed deity, Anubis.

Jackals were apparently always hanging around cemeteries, so by making Anubis their patron deity, people hoped they'd politely not eat the dead (so much for an origin story), so by extension Anubis too came to be associated with death. He was also the protector of graves, so if you see a jackal chilling on top of a tomb, now you know why.

Next to helping corpses being mummified and embalmed, one of his other famous duties was weighing the hearts of the dead against Ma´at´s white feather in the Hall of Two Truths (I told you Ma´at would come back around). By placing the feather and heart upon the scales, the souls of the dead would be judged. If your heart was heavier than the feather, Ammit would come eat your soul and you'd basically cease to exist, nice. If you were one of the lucky ones whose heart balanced with the feather, you were granted passage to the Afterlife.

Does that sound familiar? Because it should if you took like.. one glance at Cyno or listened to one of his dialogues. 

It´s also pretty clear that he highly values the principles of Ma´at, just look at the Character Story about his Vision. His first thing to do when receiving his Vision was to make sure that it was within the allowed rules of his position, then made sure it was not a trap, reflected on how the vision could help with his duties and THEN accepted the damn thing. “After carefully weighing up the pros and cons, Cyno finally accepted this gift from the gods earnestly.” [Story: Vision] Weighing you say, interesting word choice hoyoverse…

As seen above the Character Stories don´t just further tie him to Ma´at but also Anubis. For example, Character Story 2 references the act of weighing a persons soul on the scales when Cyno says "Only the law can judge you, and my role here is to bring you to face the scales."; the law in this case probably represents order and therefore Ma´at´s feather.

One of his burst lines mentions the concept of the soul as well when he says “Your sins weigh upon your soul.” Looks like someone´s soul is heavy enough to be Ammit´s breakfast.

[One of his voice lines, “In death... a new cycle begins…” (Fallen), also references the notion of life´s continuity as it was said the sun dies every night and is reborn in the morning. One representation of this concept? The scarab, modelled after the dung beetle and it´s revolving ball of dung. It was believed that scarabs were the reincarnation of the god Khepri, who represented the sunrise and the renewal of life. If you were a god, would you want to be represented as a glorified dung beetle? Just think about that next time you have to collect those pesky things…]

Back to jackals; Speaking of Cyno´s burst, it just drives the whole jackal thing home even more than before and he even gets what I assume to be an Ankh on his snout (idk I just thought that was a nice touch)

So, do I think Cyno is Anubis? No, not quite. Let me explain.

Different from Norse or Greek gods, the gods of the Ennead were not believed to physically wander the human realm themselves. Instead, they chose human avatars, a concept which is seen in modern media like Marvel´s Moonknight or Rick Riordan´s Kane Chronicles. So, I think it´s much more likely that Cyno (and potentially King Deshret´s priest?) is a human avatar of Anubis, or the god he references within the game. [Well, Childe´s backstory references Ajax the Great, a figure that exists within our reality, so who´s to say it isn´t actually Anubis in Cyno´s case?]

Cyno´s Character Story and Voice-Overs also hint at this possibility. I don´t think I need to comment much on these with everything I´ve said before, so just let these sink in.

“You may say that I have received much divine favor, with the spirit that dwells within me, and the god that took heed of my ambition. But I have no intention of letting this affect my code of justice. I will simply continue to do whatever is required to fulfill my duty.” [About the Vision]

“With my body as a vessel, I can harness the power of the spirit that dwells within me. This is possible in part due to my natural constitution, but also due to a deal I willingly made in the past. There's no reason to shy away from the topic. If I am to weigh the souls of others in this world as a Matra, then I must also place my own soul on the scales to be judged in the same manner.” [More About Cyno: II]

[In my opinion, Character Story 4 also touches on the conflict between Ma´at and Isfet but I´ll leave you to be the judge of that]

Miscellaneous

The Sobek Oasis named after the crocodile-headed god Sobek

The mentioned living labyrinth at the bottom of the desert [Character Story 2] potentially being the Lost Egyptian Labyrinth of Hawara

Candace wearing an Ankh on her neck+ all the imagery on her shield and clothes

[There are a lot more that I forgot to write down and I really don´t want to think hard about now]

So, these are all the thoughts I´m currently having and something tells me this got a little out of hand… it´s either the length of this document or my clock telling me it's 3 am sharp but I can´t put my finger on it.

Feel free to tell me whether any of this sounds plausible to you or whether you think I´ve finally lost it but please do remember to mind your manners if you do; I couldn´t handle being wrong about something AND people making fun of me for it, so pick your poison.

That´s all from me for now, I might come back to this with new and exciting thoughts if I remember anything else or if new story elements surface until then, I´m clocking out.

Meanwhile, the Akademiya is looking into banning me from writing ever again for the reason of no research done on this post

[nathank77]

8/5/24

9:34 a.m Added to/Edited 9:52 a.m

The only thing I can think of are the commonalities with the two nights that I had to double up to sleep:

1) I had 2 Red Bulls.

2) Both days were a game day where I did nothing but game. I gamed for like 8-10 hours yesterday. The day before my dad's house I gamed for like 8 hours at least.

3) Having a little caffeine after 5 p.m

Other than that there aren't other commonalities. I didnt even shower both of those days cause I showered the day before my dad's and the night I came home from dad's.

I didn't even make a phone call or run an errand or anything. I relaxed. I relaxed and played Minecraft both days and played my heart out. I mean that's all I can say.

I slept fine the night I came home from my fathers on the standard dose but I was outside. I was social. I showered. I exposed myself to sunlight. Although the half was so thick it must have been a .7 or a .8....

Last night it was probably a .6 or .7. The night before my dad's I mean it was 1.5 by the time I fell asleep.

Was it bc I didn't do anything but game and I drank two Red Bulls? I mean I've had many red Bull days Aka 24 ounces of red Bulls.. and fell sleep on the standard dose.

I had anxiety last night cause I could only take 1, 50 mg of CBD cause I only had one more gummie left. Im getting them today.

Today I'm feeling really depressed, I don't have many things on my list of things to do. Shave my face/Head idk If I'm going to do it. I'll likely shower.

Part of me wants to bring the clear bin by my game stack up to the attic despite it being empty mostly. It only has my uhart target bag in it and 2 shirts I don't like much. I wanted to fill it but I'm sick of it taking up space in my room. I can always bring stuff upstairs and fill it.

I was also planning to "set up" both Macbooks. One is purely professional and is set up. The other I want to hook my fb to and Instagram bc it's my "gaming/fun" macbook.

I'm meeting with Erin today. I'd do laundry but I'm going to wait until later this week.

This whole week I barely have anything to do but therapy Tuesday and thursday. I have nothing to be anxious about. I know I was anxious about my cbd.

I am anxious about my uti... but I'm coping. I honestly just want to watch TV. I used to have TV days but now that my gamers burn out has been cured every day I can relax I just game.

Idk ill eventually get out of the rut and at least shower.

I still got to figure out what to do with the mouse deodorant and stuff...

I also got to finish putting my shreddables in bins but I'm absolutely not doing that today.

I got to try to be active. I just feel depressed cause I had my eyes closed for a long time and couldn't sleep... and then I don't want to buy cbd but it def helped with my panic attacks...

I def had some microsleep flashbacks last night and the night before my dad's. Rapid eye movement nervousness about it being fucked up and not working right/not being in alignment.

I mean I bought 100mg a day of CBD again.... I want to go down to 50 but my brain is like take 100mg fuck the money... and I used to not even be able to think about the word panic without having heart palpitations.... so it's hard to decide not to buy it.

I also notice white on my inner cheeks could be From SLS and my cheek healing now that I removed it... or could be a yeast infection, when I have my psychical I'm going to ask to get tested for yeast again as my tongue is still black hairy tongue that is insanely clean bc I scrap it twice a day... but with the white on inner cheeks if it doesn't clear up, it could be yeast or a sign of cancer...

I'm just wondering why I'm trying so hard. Part of me is like go to prime house despite knowing I won't meet anyone there anyways.

Another thing that is getting to me is my ac is slowly shitting the bed and I can afford to put it on the new credit line... I mean not if I want to get a bed... but I feel I may have to spring the cash from the new credit line cause it really is shitting the bed.

Also my cigarettes are due soon. I got one more carton and I don't want to go to new Hampshire but I'm thinking like somewhere around the 15th or so... that'll be another bill... I wanted to get my southern degree replaced with my name... but I can't afford the fee cause I had to pay for my car taxes. Also l salvariuos. And cbd...

Maybe next month. Also I have to eventually bring in my "gaming" Macbook to apple but can't this month too broke.

I def have money anxiety. And I was thinking about going to prime house today bc maybe it is just 2 red bulls and gaming all day effecting my ability to sleep and caffeine after 5 p.m... cause that is also a commonality between the night before dad's and last night.

So yea I'm a ball of anxiety and I'm sick of being alone and i wish I could find a gf.

Beyond that my car ac is terrible.. I'm sick of how hot it is. It makes me want to stay in the house all day everyday. I can't wait for the weather to be less fucking disgusting.

Being in my car makes me nasous it's so fucking hot and I can't even crack a windows both motors on the driver side and passenger side are blown.

[inkedmoth]

Don’t understand politics? Make your own!!

Okay so admittedly this is slightly more expansive than just the politics but it’s still important for this headworld. I’ll see if I can do a short explanation rather than a long one. Black lines indicate who they report to, while white lines just show who’s on the same level of rank.

So for the continent I’m currently working on there’s four Provinces, each Province has a council of elected leaders, known as the Five Arches (Row 1). The Arches govern specific guilds: Merchant, Scholar, Devine, Creator, Hunter, and each of the guilds are split into five sections, with Masters at the head of each guild (Row 2). Each guild then consists of civilians in various jobs, technically they’d branch into further specific sub-sections but there’s only so much I can type out. EITHER WAY, Experts, Members, Professionals, Apprentaces, and Novice ranks are repeated for every. single. branch. and sub-section.

The purple section (left) is the hierarchy for the political system, Overseers acts as the eyes/ears/voices of the Arches, carry out their orders and report back. The Guardians are leaders of States, Wardens of Districts, and the Sentrys of Outposts (Aka ctiies, towns, and villages). Then there’s the Rangers/roving guards who patrol the roads, followed by the Ambassadors and Enovys who hold the same rank with slightly different roles. Lastly Emissarys and Messengers are slightly outside of the ranks, but interact with all of them.

Now the red section (right) is the Military structure, while they primarily report to the Arch Hunter, they also report to the other Arches, but daily stuff goes through Arch Hunter. The military consists of four branches, Army, Navy, Mounted, and Special Forces, it should be noted that the Navy is actually Airships not water. ANYWAY top of the chain is the Commander, there’s only one Commander per branch, they report dirrectly to the Arch Hunter. Then there’s the Chiefs, many of them per branch, and Captains, even more of them. Now the Branch Master’s here aren’t the same rank as the guild master, instead they’re more like Mentors who train up and are in closest contact with the ranks. There’s three main ranks, with Rank 1 being the highest and most skilled, Rank 2 is the most common and regular guys, while Rank 3 the lowest are newish but experianced. From there its the “Branch Hands” who are the guys who’ve just finished training, and lastly all four branches share the same pool of Recruits.

There’s a lot more information and nuance to how they all intereact, but this was as compact as I could make it lmao

[bandydear]

I’m annoyed at The Witcher being like “oh noooo Witchers are hideous monster men” when literally they just get anime OC changing eye colours and sterility. Like, heavy is the head that wears the crown, kings 👊😔

When they could be ACTUAL monster men which would be cool and make real sense because they’re mutated with a bunch of monster genes. ANND AND there are six different schools but little in the way of lore discussing the differences aside from “no one likes Cat witchers because they participate in political assassinations” BORING

Anyway, here are my headcanons/fixes for each of the different schools. Feel free to build on it or disagree.

All Witchers

Have little to no whites in their eyes. Much like dog or ape eyes, they need to look to the side to show any sclera.

Large teeth and claws are common side effects of the mutations with varying degrees of size.

Unfortunate side effects include: painful skin disorders, hair loss, joint issues—typical autoimmune stuff. Some witchers attempt to fix this with further mutations to some success or diminishing returns. It’s a bit of a roulette.

Weird smell. The combination of various monster DNA really does a number on the glands.

Can be m/f/nb because all boys club sucks and is boring

Still sterile tho. Found families the lot of them.

Wolf

Unique for hunting in packs! Yes, I know this goes against the main storyline. I do not care. They’re called wolves.

Eye colour ranges from yellow to pale blue.

Given genes specializing in all-terrain travel, stamina, and heat retention. They grow winter coats and are the second fuzziest witchers.

Family! Is! Important! Other Witcher schools may consider themselves colleagues, acquaintances, partners, etc—but wolves are a family.

They howl. Getting a howl started is a good way to distract a pack of wolf witchers. It’s also how they communicate via distance or alert each other of danger.

Bear

BIG. They raise bear witchers on sumo diets. The smallest bear witchers are only six feet. They want seven, eight feet.

Fight giant monsters. They’re the type who grapple trolls unarmed. You call in a bear for BIG problems.

Fuzzy. They operate in colder climates and mutate for the weather.

Eye colours range from green to red, most often brown.

Prefer payment in food or shelter. They’re more of a monastic order with little attachment to possessions.

Believe in monster hunting as a sacred service to the world and believe in non-violence otherwise

Hunt mostly with silver traps and one really big silver axe for finishing blows.

Cat

Operate through many networks and call each other “friend”, use unique scent cues as a method of identification.

The most “human passing” of witchers with the smallest eyes and fewest mutations, often passing for half or quarter elves instead

Have dexterity training and mutations that make them especially agile and “always land on their feet”

Will hunt monsters, but much prefer sabotage, assassinations, and robbery. However, in robbing old castles and mansions, one is likely to come across ghosts, demons, and all matter of things, so they typically specialize in the more floaty paranormal than monsters.

Eye colours range from light green to blue, with the usual being green

Pupils get huge during silly time

Prefer double daggers or scimitars for combat.

Viper

Venomous mouths which brings us to point B

Vow of celibacy

Combination of various venoms from mutations gives them a unique pungent smell. They’re not very subtle, but they are deadly, and by the time you smell one it’s probably too late.

Prefer poison tipped projectiles for hunting. Good at the long game in harsh climates

Blindness is common, so all viper witchers learn seismic sense for hunting and tracking

Solitary hunters, but will reunite with their community a few times a year

Eye colours range from green to white

Slitted sclera

Griffin

They got wings

Hunt flying monsters and big underwater types.

Perform philtrum surgery as part of trials to give themselves a more bird beak

Porcupine gene that allows them to shoot quills from a distance

Very communal. Big families that never hunt alone.

Along with manticores, they’re most likely to hunt humans due to their combination of mutagens, and a general distaste for them.

Hunt monsters for food and sport, not for money.

Yellow eyes.

Hunt with silver/steel nets, spears, and tridents.

Manticore

The Most Mutated. With all the pros and cons.

Many variations from other schools: some have venomous bites, some shoot quills, some communicate via scent. Manticore is the newest school and is made from detractors from the other five.

Hunt monsters for coin, glory, or grudges.

Paralytic claws.

Built for power, but only in bursts. Not good with the stamina game.

Eyes colours range from red to purple

Most versatile with their weapon specialization.

Consider themselves more like a team than a family.

“Anything goes” kind of attitude—their founders hated the rules of their previous clans

Hunt humans and monsters alike. Basically mercenaries.

[sweettodo]

Promiscuous.

⟿ Levi Ackerman x freader x Eren Jaeger

Includes : threesome, swearing, smut.

word count : 4,5k.

for 300 followers, i promised i would bless you all with a few stories. this was a tough plot to come up with b/c the age difference, but i always come thru :)). enjoy. thank you for 300 friends, readers, and fans. one more story on the way, hope you like !!

Being in the scouts wasn't necessarily all that bad, especially when you had all the strong, agile men to look at all day long.

You didn't bite your tongue, the gushy, teenage girl flirtatiousness that you bestowed upon not one, not two, but a good sum of the boys you worked and trained with every day. Most of whom were your closest friends, who put up with your promiscuousness. For the most part, they fed into it, reciprocating the behavior. But it couldn't be avoided that you took a special liking towards your Captain; Mr. Ackerman himself.

Call it unnatural, call it unusual, but you had a justification for liking him so much. If he said the right thing in the right context, your knees would be shaky and weak, for instance, when he demanded you to 'shut up' half-jokingly for fooling around with Connie too much. You left training that day with a waterfall between your legs, leaving you stunned for at least a week.

The ideas in your head were endless and slightly disturbing. There was no denying you were captivated by him, and he knew it.

Not to mention he took a fondness to you too...

Well, not how you quite anticipated him too. He just believed you were a capable scout, thus him taking you under his wing with your friends. Leaving aside your whorish comments. He took your ignorant attitude with a grain of salt, not allotting you the time of the day- which only made it more of a challenge to get what you yearned much for.

He would scoff, walk away and roll his eyes, reprimanding you on behaving yourself and acting your age. You were 19, you were acting your age, 'I could be worse,' you mumbled under your breath.

Being the species of girl who was drawn to a particular type of man, power play, that sharp attitude which one with a level head and a drop of common sense would take as a definite red flag, the type of man that would punish you for being horny or bratty- you could only dream- it was also clear you couldn't bluff and say that you didn't favor the infamous Eren Jaeger: the strong-willed, wild, dominant and overbearing youthful man. He could command you to get on your knees, and you would in a flash.

Alas, you would not be seeing the pearly gates with what went through your mind about the long-haired, tall, demanding man. On the plus side-unlike Levi- Eren enjoyed the attention you gave him, he played the game with you.

And he played the game good- you liked it.

On numerous occasions, you would be more than touchy with Eren, the little 'not so serious' back rub, or a hand on his thigh under the table to make him hot and bothered. And once or twice, the rare make-out session in an alleyway while your friends shopped or by the stable of horses one time when you were sixteen. Though the sexual tension grew once you turned eighteen when you two were less apt to get in trouble for your conduct- yet you never took it all the way, liking the idea of having him on his toes every time he saw you.

Anyways, today was different than most days, you all were honored with a few days of relaxing, sleeping in, and extra time to eat and shower with no training, or missions.

Appreciating the peace, you lay in your bed buried under the blankets half asleep, taking in the unusual time of relaxation. While nearing slumber again, you're rudely interrupted. A pounding on your door riddles throughout your body, frightening you half to death, you flinch, sitting up in an instant.

"Food! y/n." oh, it was Connie.

You untangle from the blankets, sauntering to your wardrobe, and pulling out a regular old white shirt with shorts. The heat was not something to take lightly around here, you could collapse and suffer from a heat stroke if you weren't careful, so you rolled up your shorts a little and slipped on shoes, taming your hair and heading out of your messy room towards the mess hall, eyes finding your friends and groggily plunging into the bench besides Eren and your other buddies, "sleep well?" Connie laughs, you scowl at him.

"Yea! I was dreamin' about you too! Too bad you ruined it, I was just getting to the good part."

Connie laughs and shakes his head, shoveling food down into his mouth, "I don't even wanna know what that dream was about." Jean grumbles, ruffling his hair to remove it from his clammy forehead; Jean was a difficult one to crack, he usually blushed and would cut your trifling demeanor right off at the knees, he was more for Mikasa's quiet and ethical personality.

"Shut it Kirstein- I do!" Connie protests, you wink at him.

"I'll tell you when I get you alone, how 'bout that Springer?"

Eren could be heard from your left, snorting, you glance over and see his arm raise and head towards your back, yanking your bra and snapping it back against your skin, you unleash an 'ouch' and attempt to reach back and rub the area, "White shirt with a red bra underneath? Who're you tryna' impress?" You shrug.

"Captain, of course."

"More like you dressed in the dark this morning." Eren bullies.

"Captain, what?" Connie and Sasha childishly roll and bounce around in their seats, bellowing laughter while you slowly turn around to face your boss, he reiterates one more time before you chuckle and scratch the back of your neck.

"Talking about how good my boss looks today," the words that roll off your tongue make The tense up and sigh in annoyance, beginning to walk away, you pout, tilting your head, "am I wrong?"

"Keep it up, y/n, I'll have you in a cell indefinitely if you continue this adolescent behavior." He doesn't look twice at you, leaving as quickly as he came. Halting your comments right as they came flying out of your mouth, he had to have been enjoying them! Perhaps a little.

Right as the man in charge begins to leave the hall, he stops, peers his head over to meet your eyes.

"-In chains." Your eyes widen, a perverted grin growing onto your face, looking left to right baffled, 'in chains?' gawking to see if any of your friends noticed the innuendo, but it seemed they were well absorbed in their own business.

But someone heard him.

"In chains?"

You look at Eren, he shared the same shock as you, you wriggle your eyebrows and nudge his side, "I'm not the only one who heard it, so maybe I'm not going crazy." You giggle, finishing your meal and gossiping amongst your friends until it was time to go.

To pass time during the day, you all wasted hours cleaning up to your captain's expectations, finally relieving yourselves for the rest of the evening before dinner; walking down the streets of your town, stopping at the shops down the gravel streets. While everyone talks, your head is elsewhere; replaying that remark Levi made about the chains, borderline obsessing over it- rightfully so.

When he said the word 'chains', you instantly recalled the context behind his innuendo, unless you were going insane, but you had made a joke- your first endeavor at flirting with your boss, mentioning to him using the same chains he used on Eren in court a few years back, your friends condemning your extraverted behavior on the spot; when to no avail, Levi did not feed into that well, sending you to isolation shortly after. And then to Erwin's office to explain yourself... in front of him, Commander Hange, and Levi. Nonetheless, it didn't stop you from toying with the man.

You were somewhat... wild.

Enjoying the rest of your stress-free hours, you spend the evening sitting comfortably in the large common area after dinner; all of you except Eren, who didn't appear at dinner either. God knows where he was.

You lounge beside Armin and Jean, your head on Jean's shoulder per-usual.

"Jean, has Mikasa told you how good you look today?" You hum, his face is instantly soaked up in a rosy flush as he throws his hands over his ears to block your weird comments from reaching his ears, "Mikasa?" you quirk an eyebrow.

"Don't be absurd, y/n" she laughs, "Jean, don't listen to her."

"Jean, you look extra good today," you lean over closer to him, "just thought I'd tell ya'."

"Yeah, yeah." He cracks a small smile, you pat his shoulder then fall back into your seat.

"Awh- c'mon Kirstein, you know I-"

"Y/n, Captain needs to see you..." Eren's voice interrupts the chatting, his head peers into the room, you and your friends falling silent.

"You're probably in trouble again." Armin sighs disappointingly. You promptly stand, "good luck." dragging your feet towards your supposed 'escort', Meeting Eren at the door frame of the corridor, his hands stuffed in his pockets with a deadpan look, watching you begin to take lead ahead of him, "how do you know Levi wants to see me?" You question, examining him whilst walking through the hallways, up the stairs, and around the corner, a few feet away from your Captain's headquarters.

"We talked."

With an uncertain look on your face, churning with turmoil, Eren is knocking once, then twice before pushing open the engraved wooden door, 'Captain didn't even ask who it was at the door-' you furrow your eyebrows, his hand on your back, quickly whisking you into the large room, abruptly stopping in front of his desk.

Your feet are glued to the floor while Eren is closing the door. Levi stands there, propped up against his desk with his arms crossed. The room was eerily silent, you were becoming slightly intimidated. Do you stand? Talk? Sit?

The silence was unbearable.

"Do you need me-"

"I'm fed up, with your manner, cadet." Levi interrupts.

"If I may- Captain," He nods for you to proceed, "why is Eren here?" Captain was very much capable of taking care of reprimanding you on his own, you were almost irritated that Eren was lingering behind you, feeling his eyes burning voids in the back of your head, disrespectfully.

"Isn't that what you want?" Eyes doubling in size, you swerve your head to attempt and get a view of Eren, but Levi halts you once more, treading closer to you so you can look at him, "you don't need to look at Eren."

"I- I don't quite understand."

No one says anything. The air is now thick, more difficult to swallow for oxygen, you were entirely thrown off track with the way he was speaking to you, the way he was looking at you made you want to make a run for it, "Cat got your tongue? Y/n?" Chills rake up and down your body when you feel Eren's breath on your neck, sending your head flying behind you to see the blue-eyed devil almost pressed against your back, you look back at Levi frantically.

"Sit."

Without pause, your ass is planted into one of his chairs, "why aren't you being stubborn? Where's that attitude that constantly gets you into trouble?" Feeling as if you're shrinking, the two men are overlooking you, "go on."

"I- well,"

"She has nothing to say for herself, Cap." Eren looks at Levi, "told you she was all talk." He jabs, were you dreaming?

Your heart thumped out of your chest, you never dreamed of Levi taking it this far, especially when he was so professional... "y/n," Levi's finger touches underneath your chin, raising your head to look at the two men, "always teasing me when you do the same to Eren, so slutty, don't you think, cadet?"

Your mouth drops open at his use of words, finally- the game caught up to you, and you were facing the repercussions, "don't be all shy now."

"I'm not-"

"Then if you're not shy, get on your knees and show us how much you’ve wanted us.”

You hesitate to move, but eventually find yourself slowly sliding out of the chair and onto your knees, "not in my office, go in my room." Eren grabs your arm, walking towards his adjoining room, Levi opens the door and permits you to be ushered in by both him and Eren; Eren grabs you by the hair and directs you back onto your knees in front of your captain's bed, "she's so compliant now that she knows we aren't joking anymore," Levi scoffs, standing behind you while Eren is unbuttoning his jeans right in front of your eyes, a combination of anxiousness and warmth growing in the pit of your gut, looking up at him through your eyelashes, licking across your bottom lip hungrily.

"Be a good girl and open for Eren," Levi bunches up your hair from behind, removing it from around your face.

"Yes sir."

Sticking out your tongue, you try to relax your throat once seeing the size of the man, Levi's grip on your hair prevents you from getting a good look at it before his cock is nudging gently into your mouth, down your tongue, and to the back of your throat, fastening your lips around the base of his cock whilst swirling your tongue when he pulls out of your throat, groaning when your tongue works him with ease.

"So good," He hums, grabbing the sides of your face, Levi drops your hair from his hold so Eren can pick up his pace, using his hands to guide you; gagging and choking while he fucks your throat, saliva dripping down your chin, at the verge of tears, you take his length as far as you can manage. Eren grunting and huffing; only throbbing more when he sees the little tears drip down your cheeks. He heaves out of you, your tongue lolled out while strings of spit follow his cock, the men are astonished at the sight of you gasping for air, but they weren't going to tell you that.

"Are you gonna be good for me and our captain, princess?" Eren crouches down to meet your eyes, clever smile on his face, you nod and he stands you up by your armpit.

You had virtually no control over yourself, they were moving you to where they saw fit; right on your hands and knees into the soft plush sheets, "what do you want, y/n?" you listen from behind you, your head is yanked backward, Levi is there, his free hand wrapped around your jugular loosely, his shirt unbuttoned.

"I want you both to fuck me," you gasp out, they both snicker at you.

"Too easy, way too easy, such a fuckin' whore, imagine wanting both of us," Eren taunts, snatching your shorts down to your knees and lifting your shirt to grab onto the thin waistband of your underwear, "you want Jean to fuck you too? Got any other favorites?" Levi shoves you back onto the mattress, your arms catching you while Levi continues to remove your shorts from your knees, tossing them on the floor, rough hands caressing and pulling apart your ass, both men watch your panties slip in the separated cave of your ass, Eren pulling off your shirt and unclasping your bra.

"N-o, only you guys."

"Who do you want more? Me or your other little fucktoy?" Levi sneers, moving to your front, once again lifting you by your chin, keeping you still while Eren rubs his fingers against the soaked cloth. Pulling upwards against your cunt, the pressure making your clit spasm and scream for the touch of his actual fingers, looking desperate and hungry at your captain.

"I- I can't choose."

Your chest rising and falling, Eren is finally relieving you from your panties, fingers instantly meeting your folds and slipping past your entrance with his two fingers, you whine, eyes rolling to the back of your head, knuckles curving downwards to hook into you and find your sweet spots.

"Well aren't you lucky, you get both of us, even though you don't deserve it," Your captain smirks, getting on his knees, fiddling with the button of his slacks, zipping them down and pushing them past his thighs, "I think she needs to beg for it." He looks at Eren, his erection making itself known from beneath his boxers, fingers quickly scissoring the roots of your hair while he frees himself from his constraints.

"I wanna be your slut- please make me cum." They smile, pleased with your submissiveness.

Cock spilling with precum, he scooches towards your salivating mouth and holds your level to his cock, centimeters away, "so fuckin' wet, can't say I'm surprised you get off to this." Eren's tip rubbing between your folds, collecting the slick that was seeping from your hungry pussy. He pushes into you while Levi is pushing into your mouth, both holes becoming occupied by their pulsating cocks; they longed to fill you up, the torturous teasing you put them through the second you turned eighteen was bound to make them snap- you didn't know what you expected, to be honest, you asked for this.

Eren fucks you slow, savoring the feeling of you clench and suck him in further, pussy stretching from the sheer size of him, veins from the base of his cock hitting and rubbing against the very nerves that were screaming for him to go faster.

Levi fucks deep into your throat, he was about Eren's size, perhaps a little thinner, but he was no match for your throat, choking up the spit from past your throat to lube his cock further. You bring your hand up to assist you, twisting your hand back and forth- up and down while you stimulated his sensitive tip with your tongue, hollowing out your cheeks to suck him back in and repeat.

He was becoming unkempt, his mouth ajar with little moans slipping past his lips, hair dangling in front of the sides of his face while his hips bucked back and forth into the depths of your cave.

"My God, so wet."

You moaned against Levi's cock, Eren speeding up and reaching your cervix, your juices slushing and pussy squeaking while he stretches you out. When his hips connected to your backside, you only want to shrivel up more from the pace he was hitting the hole of your tight cervix. Initially, it hurt, but almost instantly it began to feel pleasurable for both you and Eren, he was reaching great lengths inside of you. He's always wanted to fuck you; almost disappointed in himself that he didn't do this before.

"Taking me so well, I can barely fit," he grunts, "you like my cock y/n? Isn't this what you wanted with your bullshit teasing?" he smacks your ass, crying out, his hips jutting back and forth against you mercilessly, sending jolts into every bone of your body.

He slaps you again, your right ass cheeks burning and tingling from the strength of his slap, "fuckin' slut, better be quiet."

Levi pulls out of your throat, finally able to audible out the loud weeps and cries, he throws his hand over your mouth, "shut up before you get us caught."

"Fuck, Eren!" you wail, ignoring Levis commands, gasps and moans fly around the room, his cock filling you perfectly to the point where you felt like you were made to shape him.

"Open." his hand is forcing your jaw open, sticking your panties into your mouth to silence you. You cry into the fabric, the coil twirling up in your stomach, clenching your walls while he drills into you, his cock rubbing against your g-spot, sending you into a frenzy.

Levi fists his cock for the time being while Eren is chasing his orgasm, knocking into you- inching you towards your orgasm. The back of your head tingling, your pussy twitching, and your stomach tightening, the room spiraling around you while you drop your head into the mattress, eyes screwed shut; Eren tearing an earth-shattering orgasm out of your body.

You see stars and a bright white consumes you, hands reaching to grasp anything, finding Levi's bicep and digging your nails into his skin for support while Eren's cock bathes in your cum, his hands pressing into the small of your back, "'boutta cum, right in this pretty little pussy." He spits, pinning your back to a better arch, you cry into the sheets when Erens thrusts loosen a little, sporadic and stabbing thrusts until he's panting and dumping a large load of his seed into your cunt, letting out moans and swears of approval. Your body convulsing, wanting to collapse.

Erin's lightheaded, dizzy and sweating, little bangs and baby hairs sticking to his soaked face, watching your cum drip down your thighs, the wetness from your pussy which had soaked his stomach, it was a fucking mess.

Everywhere.

He pulls out of you, your cream coating his cock; snatching a shirt and wiping himself clean, hiking up his boxers, "you're not done. On your back, now."

Without warning nor regard, you're pushed forward into Levi's hands by Eren to get you moving quicker; you slide onto your back, Levi takes charge and steps off the bed, hauling you by the thighs until you're at the edge of the bed, Levi pressing his hands under your thighs, holding them up and letting his cock slap against your cum-filled cunt, biting onto his bottom lip, teasing his cock into you.

He leans down, taking out the pair of underwear from your mouth, "keep quiet, understood?"

Quickly nodding and bracing yourself, happy to feel warm again.

"Did Eren fill you good?" he asks calmly, you nod.

"Yes- Levi."

Levi halts mid-thrust, peeved look on his face, "yes what, y/n?" you swallow hard, throat dry from the cloth.

"Y-yes Captain, he did." You mewl, he nods once before finishing his thrust.

"This pussy is so tight, even after he stretched you out like this?" he huffs, head dipped down- eyes filed to your pussy sucking in his cock so well; hair flopping back and forth, "I told you I was gonna do something about that mouth of yours, didn't I?"

"Y-you did, sir." You wail.

Levi didn't hold back, each of his sharp thrusts made you more tender inside, little cries fall from your swollen lips while Eren sits beside your head, big arm reaching over your face and kneading your boob, he watches them bounce slightly as Levi ruts into you. Rolling your hard erected nipple in between his fingers, "look at that face, are you gonna cum again?" you look up at Eren, who wears a smug look on his face, "are you gonna cum on Captain's cock, y/n?" you whine, trying to remain quieter under your Captain's directions.

"Gonna-" Eren's hand moves once more- over towards your clit.

This was the first time tonight you had felt this overstimulation, hissing in air and biting onto the skin of your lip, hand grasping Eren's wrist as he swirls little- yet strong circles into your clit, your mouth slacks open, “please! Feels so-" another burst of spasms erupting, thighs shaking and clenching around Levi's waist, "f-fuck me- Fuck me harder Captain, please!" You cry, walls convulsing, cum seeping out of you, down your ass and the base of his cock while he fucks you silly, Eren bringing you that much closer to a euphoric feeling again as he rubs your spasming clit.

"Yeah? You want me to fuck you like the whore you are, right?" Levi pants, cockhead rubbing against your sensitive and exhausted g-spot.

"Who can fuck you better?" Unable to audible, Eren moves faster around your num.

"Don't disobey our Captain, pretty girl- use your words." Screwing your eyes shut, the two men await your answer.

"I-I don't know- Ah!" Your back arches, core tightening for the second time tonight- body shaking as the following orgasm sends you over the moon, Eren's hand smacked over your mouth, you wail into his hand, Levi pins your legs open, leaning down to fuck into you harder, thrashing into your guts, pussy gushing around him until he is groaning and throwing his head back while he slams into you, his stomach nearly slapping against Eren's fingers, his dick twitching. His cheeks rosy and his muscles flexed.

"Fuck, so good- so tight- keep squeezing-" he breathes.

You're dazed from the rocking of his hips, he slows, catching his breath while he releases, coating your bruised walls with his cum. Your body left empty and quivering as Levi is slipping out of your cunt, Eren handing him the same shirt he used to wipe himself off with; your captain retrieving it and cleaning the amount of cum that was left on his softening dick, moving to you and carefully wiping the inside of your thighs and beaten cunt.

Catching your breath, Levi is picking his boxers up from the floor and pulling them up along with his pants, “don’t stay there forever, my sheets need to be switched.” He states, Eren reaches for your hand and helps you sit up, putting his shirt over your head and you slip through the arms, feet meeting the cold wooden floor, you attempt to stand, your knees buckling, Eren grabs you by the tricep before you land on the floor and sits you back on the bed.

“I think it would look suspicious if I carried you out of here, can you walk?”

You nod, “yeah.”

Standing again, you're able to succeed, reaching for your underwear, Eren already had it swinging around his index finger, “I’ll hold onto these.”

With no willpower to object, you just pull up your shorts and pick up your shoes.

“Walk her back, Jaeger, don't do anything stupid.”

You and Eren both leave your Captain’s office quietly, the hall empty and empty, you and he slowly walk back, you laughed at the thought about how it would be a tough one to explain why Eren was shirtless and you were- quite obviously- wearing his shirt while he holds your stained shirt in his hand.

With great luck, you and he make it without running into anyone, reaching your door, you and him enter and you shut the door behind him.

“Here’s your shirt.”

He watches you as you throw off his shirt, tossing it to him and opening a drawer, and grabbing one of your own.

Before you realize it.

“Uhm, Eren, I forgot my bra.” Glancing down at your bare chest, Eren shrugs it off and laughs.

“Captain wanted to keep something too, princess.”

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx