#this also goes for utah

[my-random-fandoms]

Maybe it makes me a bitch, but I can't bring myself to root for NCAA teams from schools that are in red states. Like, I pretty much like every single gymnast on Florida. But I can't get over that all of them chose to go to school in a state that has fuckin' Ron DeSantis as the governor.

And the Governor of Louisiana is no better. He's horribly homophobic and has a hard-on for censoring libraries and book bans. I can't even IMAGINE going to a state for an education that completely devalues libraries. I know many of the athletes probably dig on that. But some don't, and I just can't bring myself to root for them no matter how much I like their gymnastics. (And I do for the most part!)

That's probably why it's so hard for me to root for any SEC teams, tbh. (I mean, that and I HATE dynasty teams in sports and dynasty conferences are even worse that dynasty teams.) But aside from that, a lot of it is the politics.

[muirneach]

people who complain about utah hc’s name/jersey (or lack thereof) wouldn’t last a minute in the pwhl mines

[dsmp-lainey]

guys how do we feel about my personal dsmp ending rewrites:

-c!wilbur doesn’t just get to fuck back off to where he came from after doing all that damage (also it never made sense to me because how tf is he the child of death and an angel and living in UTAH?) instead he actually goes and finally kills dream (and probably dies in the process) so tommy can finally start to heal

-c!techno after rescuing micheal starts trying to convince phil to let him talk to kristin to make a deal. philza initially outright refuses but is worn down over time as techno pleads. through possession of phils body kristin is able to meet with techno, and at this time techno proposes a deal. techno will trade his life for ranboo to come back. Kristin agrees to this with some reluctance (knowing that philza will be heartbroken) and brings Ranboo back to life while taking Technos soul. Ranboo comes back and him, tubbo and micheal live happily ever after. Luckily kristin is able to pull some strings and combined with the magic already tied to technos soul, she is able to elevate him into becoming one of the non corporal gods of the world (like her, XD and drista are)

-like i said c!Beeduo gets their happily ever after, they move back into the snowchester mansion with micheal, tubbo apologizes to aimsey and asks her to move in with their little family, tommy lives with them at times but will never fully abandon his little embassy that survived everything. they all begin to heal.

-with the dissolution of the syndicate niki decides to move back to nearby lmanburg, they never try to repair the crater as it serves as a needed reminder of what has occurred. niki is firmly in favor of anarchy at this point but decides that she must also work to build community outside of country’s and sides. her and puffy get back together and build a nice cottage, niki builds a new bakery. many other members of the smp, most notably eret, join and live in the peaceful community

-fundys story ends the same, he finally leaves and finds a place free of his fathers mistakes and influence. he feels like he truly belongs for the first time in his life.

-for quackitys ending, i don’t hate the canon ending as i think it would make sense for the toxic lessons he taught slime to ultimately be his undoing (also bc that speech is amazing) but i think him and schlatt should get to be happy/at least at peace in the afterlife

-c!phil continues to live in technos house for several generations, watching the people he knew grow old and stories be lost to time. eventually he will move on to a new journey but ofc techno and kristin will be watching over him. this is the life of an eternal angel

anywayssss there’s some of my ideas feel free to ask if you have questions or want to add on :)

[quacktities]

I don't care how wishfulfilment-y and ooc it is but I like to think that after C! Wilbur moved to Utah, he kind of healed a bit and reflected on a lot of his actions and he's in some community service job because he feels like he's making amends for what he's done by doing it (and also he likes feeling important and like he's helping people). And maybe he's taken up a writing hobby, and he has a book in the works and he keeps rewriting his drafts but he is genuinely having fun for what feels like the first time in a long time. He still occasionally goes back to his old bad habits but he's in a better place now and he's made some new friends and connections. He still tries to keep contact with some of the people he knew though.

He's trying to give Tommy some space but also trying to keep in touch and he's been semi successful with it. He's given Fundy complete space and tries to respect his decision that he doesn't want him in his life anymore but he does try to leave the door open for if Fundy ever changes his mind even if he doesn't count on it. He's sent Tubbo a letter but hasn't gotten a response and doesn't think he will. He's tried getting closer to Niki and it hasn't exactly worked out but they're still in contact and send eachother letters at least once every 5 months (the letters take a while though because they both live far away). He did see her when he visited Philza once though. And even if they're not as close as they used to be, he's glad they're able to keep in touch after everything.

Him and Quackity surprisingly exchange letters quite oftenly. It started out with Wilbur sending him one to properly apologise since he never got the chance to and it had been on his mind and to his surprise, Quackity actually replied (with a snarky response but a response nonetheless). And then it kind of became a pattern for them to send eachother letters quite regularly since Utah and Las Nevadas aren't that far apart so it travels faster. Their letters range from playful stupid banter to insights about eachothers weeks to snarky remarks laced with genuine advice to occasional glimpses of sincerity and care. Despite everything they're actually on pretty decent terms and Quackity's actually visiting him in a week. Wilbur's quite excited and giddy about it even if he won't admit it

Overall he's in a better place now even if there's a still lot of things to work on and even if what he's done still haunts him some days, he's coming to terms with it. He hasn't healed completely nor is he really truly happy but he's getting there and maybe it will be okay

[she-wolf09231982]

Joe Toye

“The Bunny and The Fox”

Summary: You thought Joe Toye was too scary to even consider a friend, but he proves to be not only a great friend, but also a lover.

A/N: One shot, Mature audience, JoeToyeX!FemMedic, WW2, Female Pronouns, Cursing/Swearing, Derogatory Slurs, Womanizing Comments, Military and Medical Terminology, Inappropriate Nicknames, HBO Band of Brothers References, Mentions/Descriptions of Injuries, Weaponry, Smoking. Angst/Conflict, Smut, *John Wayne/McClintock Movie Quote*, FOREVER FLUFF

@awaterfalls 😁🪖♠️🦅❤️

These stories may not fall entirely in accordance with the TV series timeline. I do not know the real soldiers the actors portray in this series, so please understand I show no disrespect. Some or most of historical events and character interactions in my fanfics are fabricated purely for the sake of the enjoyment of fiction*

~~~~~~~

He always appeared so….serious. His face in a constant state of pissed off and disdain. If looks could kill, Joe Toye (and Johnny Martin) wouldn’t have needed weapons in the war.

You avoided him all through Toccoa. He just seemed like the type to leave the hell alone. But every now and then, you caught a glimpse of him smiling or laughing with the guys.

“Not bad.” You’d think to yourself as you admired his smile.

Since you trained with Easy as a medic, you rarely had an excuse to speak to him unless he was injured. Even then you kept your conversation short and sweet with hardly any eye contact. But with his low raspy voice came a sense of calm while you took care of him. You supposed he seemed friendly enough.

~~~~~~

June 1944 Post D-Day

Orders were given to take Carentan where German soldiers were being sheltered. Carentan was the main crossroad between Cotentin and Calvados where the ally force's tanks needed passage to attack the main objective, Cherbourg.

"Listen up!" LT Welsh shouted. "It'll be dark soon. I want light and noise discipline from here on. No talking, no smoking. And no playing grab-fanny with the man in front of you, Luz. We're taking Carentan. It's the only place where armor from Omaha and Utah Beach can link up and head inland. Until we take Carentan, they're stuck on the sand. General Taylor's sending the whole division."

Some of the men began to grumble under their breath. Everyone started to stir to gather their gear to begin the journey to Carentan.

Walking in a file formation on each side of the road to Carentan. You found yourself walking in front of Toye as Perconte proceeded you.

“Hey Toye, why you always in the middle when we convoy anywhere? Ain’t you ever in the front?” Guarnere teased.

“I go wherever the medic goes in case I get hit, Bill.” Joe responded.

You blushed and dared to sneak a glance behind you. As you did, Toye met your gaze shooting you a quick wink. You quickly look back to the front embarrassed he caught you acknowledging him.

“Awe now look what ya did. You scared her.” Guarnere teased.

You hear some of the guys laugh.

“Maintain your noise discipline.” Winters reminded.

~~~~~~~

"MEDIC!!"

You and Doc on separate ends of the streets trying to keep low to tend to the wounded.

You rush to two soldiers landing on your knees next to them, one on the ground with a trail of blood coming from his helmet, the other crouching over him.

"He's still breathing, help me carry him!" You call out. You each grab an arm of the injured soldier and drag him behind a building.

While you're working on the nameless soldier's head wound, a drug store gets blasted by German artillery not far from where you were, the force from the explosion sending you sideways into the brick wall next to you.

You shake your head to stop the ringing in your ears. Everything you could hear was distant as your vision became fuzzy and dark. You start to smack your ear trying to make it pop so you can get back to your senses.

“Y/L/N! We gotta move! Get up!” Toye’s muffled voice yelled out.

He grabbed you by the arm pulling you up to your feet. You still couldn’t barely see so you held onto his arms for dear life.

“I-I can’t see nothin’ Joe!” You called out to him.

“Ok, come on…UP we go!” You hear him grunt as he threw you over his shoulder.

You feel him trotting to safety while blast after blast erupted all around you. You feel him lower you as gently as he could to the ground against a wall.

“Hey, look at me.” Toye said as he guided your face towards his, “Can you see me now?”

You shake your head, “No, it’s all dark and blurry.” You reply as tears started to stream down your cheeks.

Were you going blind?? Is this it? You’re not going to be able to see your family’s faces? Never see your own reflection? You feel yourself slipping into shock.

“Hey! Stay with me now, ok doll? Don’t cry. Doc’s on his way.” You hear Toye’s voice break through your thoughts.

Doc ducked behind the wall with you and Toye.

“What’s the matta’ with her?” You hear Gene ask.

“She can’t see. Says everything is blurry.”

“Gene, I think I’m going blind. Am I going blind??” You asked panicked trying to reach out for him.

“What happened before she couldn’t see?”

“A shell dropped right by her and she went flying into a brick wall.”

Gene nodded, “That’ll do it. You got a concussion, Y/L/N, you ain’t goin’ blind.”

You released a sigh of relief.

“Joe, can you get her back to HQ? She ain’t no good out here if she can’t see nothin’.”

“I got her, Doc.”

~~~~~~~

Toye got you back to an aid station not long after Easy Company claimed victory over Carentan. You remained there until the following day after your vision returned. As you approached a group of the guys from Easy, you were welcomed with whoops and cheers.

“Hey! Look who it is!” Luz called out.

All the guys turned to find you walking towards them.

“Hey look what the cat dragged in!” Malarkey joked.

The chorus of laughter from the men lifted your spirits.

“Yeah, I look rough, I know. Thanks guys.” You greet.

You looked around for Toye.

“He’s over there.” Luz pointed out as he gestured with is thumb over his shoulder.

“Oh, I just, uh, wanted to thank him for-“ you began.

“-yeah, yeah we know. He’s over there.” Malarkey interjected pointing down the street.

You feel yourself get flustered so you scamper off to where they said Joe was. As you walk through the rubble that Carentan has become, you see Toye standing in a circle with a few of the other guys from Easy. He throws his cigarette butt on the ground, stomping it out with his boot before he turns and sees you.

His face lights up when he saw you walking up.

“Hey there she is!” Guarnere hailed.

Bill met you and extended his hand for you to shake, which you obliged.

“Good to see you, Bill.”

“Glad to see you up and about, doll.” He pulled you in closer, “Someone’s been real worried about you since they left you at the aid station, by the way.” He disclosed.

You pull back and met Bill’s face with confusion. He winked and motioned over to Toye with his chin.

“Go on and say hi to him.” Bill added.

You narrow your eyes at him and smile. You slowly approach Toye as he stood there with his hands in his pockets and smirking as he patiently waited for you.

“Hey, Toye.” You squeak.

“Hey, Y/L/N. Good to see you.” He replied with his signature husky voice.

“Well, if it weren’t for you, I probably wouldn’t be here. Thank you for helping me.” You say as you leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

You hear Guarnere whistle. You turn around and shake your head at him.

Toye cleared his throat, “It was nothin’.”

You both stood there awkwardly until Bill came over.

“Hey, the guys were going to go to the bar that survived the wreck. You wanna join us later for a few night caps, Y/L/N?”

“Sure, if I can find a place to get cleaned up.”

“Ok it’s that little place over there. We’ll all be there around 1900, aight?”

You knew Bill was scheming something for you and Toye. You look at him suspiciously.

“Ok, I’ll see you guys there later.”

~~~~~~~

You breeze through the front door of the pub and begin scanning the room for the familiar faces of Easy.

“Hey! Y/F/N! Over here!” Guarnere called out waving his hand.

You push through the crowd to get to the table where most of your guys were sitting. You catch Toye playing darts with LT Compton, Luz, and Heffron.

“What can I getchya?” Bill asked.

“Oh, whatever you’re drinking, Bill.” You reply.

“Comin’ right up.” He announced as he walked to the bar.

You look back to Toye and catch his eyes looking at you too. He smiled and raised his glass to you with a wink. You smile back and give him a little wave.

“Here ya go.” Bill returned handing you a pint glass of beer.

You cheers and take a hearty gulp.

“Thanks, Bill.” You say as you squeeze his arm.

~~~~~~~

The night was filled with laughter, banter, and taunts amongst Easy. And somehow, your glass kept getting magically refilled by each of the guys. You had to refuse Malarkey’s offer to buy your next round because you felt your head starting to spin.

“Ok, we’ll slow down.” Don chuckled, “But when you’re ready, I got the next one!”

“Yessir.” You quipped.

You turn towards the dart boards and see that Toye had moved. You began to search the room for him and suddenly stop at the bar where he was talking to a local woman dressed in a tightly fit dress.

You felt a distinct sense of dread mixed with anger, but you weren’t sure why. The longer you watched Toye leaning closer to whisper in her ear while she giggled, the more your rage boiled over inside.

“What’s the matter, doll? You gotta look on ya like you’re gonna murder someone.” You hear Guarnere chime in.

You avert your eyes to the floor.

“It’s nothing.” You say quickly.

Bill looked where you were just looking.

“Well ain’t that a son of a bitch. After all the trouble I went through to set you’s guys up, he goes and finds another bird to chat up.”

You look at Bill, “What do you mean set us up?”

Bill looked at you alarmed.

“Oh, well, I thought you knew. Toye over there has got it real bad for ya. Has ever since basic but he figured he never had a chance. I told him you were a catch and that you had a thing for him too.”

“Oh do I now?” You asked astounded by his response.

“Well, don’tchya?”

“I suppose he’s handsome. Good soldier. But looks like he’s not as sweet on me as you think.” You state as you gesture to Toye by the bar getting disgustingly close to the blonde bombshell.

“Ah, he’s an idiot. He’s just trying to get laid.”

You look at him with daggers behind your eyes. Bill’s eyes widen.

“Uh, what I mean is he don’t care about her, ya know? He’s trying to not think about you because he thinks you’re outta his league.” Bill hastily explained.

“Yeah? Well, I’ll get his attention.” You declare as you storm off towards the bar.

“Ah shit.” Bill mumbled to himself rolling his eyes.

You walk up to a soldier from Fox Company standing a few feet away from where Toye was with his new little friend. You approach the bar and slightly bend over to the surface of the bar and rest your elbows on it. The soldier noticed you right away and a devilish grin appeared across his face.

You look over at him and smile.

“Hey, angel, you’re the prettiest face in here.” He said as he scanned you from head to toe.

You see Toye look over the blonde’s shoulder at you. So you inched closer to the stranger.

“At least someone noticed how hard I worked on my make up tonight.” You say loud enough for Joe to hear.

Toye’s jaw started to tighten. Your plan was working like a charm.

“What are you talkin’ about? You’re a dish!” He returned enthusiastically, “Can I get you a drink?”

“A pint is fine.”

Toye excused himself from the company of his little vixen and approached you with obvious vigor. He stopped so close to you, you can feel his breath on your face.

“You think you should have anymore?” Toye asked in a low gravelly tone.

You were almost a puddle at his feet.

“What’s one more?” You dismiss.

“Hey, buddy, this one’s mine. Get lost.” The Fox soldier warned.

Toye glared at him, a clear warning with his fierce gaze to back off. “Shut up.”

He turned back to you. “You hit your head hard yesterday. You got a concussion, remember? Drinking too much isn’t good for you right now.” He cautioned.

The soldier behind Toye huffed outloud. You bring your face closer to his.

“How about you go on back to your little blonde bunny over there and worry about her?” You say softly staring intensely into his eyes.

You snidely smile and gently push him aside to accept the beer the Fox soldier was holding for you. Toye grabbed your wrist before you could get your fingers around the glass.

“Because I’m worried about you.” He sternly replied.

“Hey, pal, I’m not gonna tell ya-“

Before the guy could finish his sentence, Toye swung and punched him across the face sending him to the ground like a sack of potatoes.

“Joe, what the hell is the matter with you?” You bark.

He turned to face you, his teeth clenched and resentment in his eyes.

“Isn’t this what you wanted? You got my attention.” He said raising his arms to the side.

Just then, another Fox Company soldier soared in and tackled Toye. When Guarnere saw Toye get sacked, him and the rest of Easy rushed in, clashing with Fox Company in a battle royalé in the middle of the dance floor.

You grab a bottle of whiskey and force your way into the horde to smash it over the head of one of the opposing soldiers when you suddenly feel your feet swiftly leave the floor, and you find yourself once again thrown over Joe Toye’s shoulder as he rushes out the front door.

You start to push off of his back to look at him.

“What are you doing?? Put me down, NOW! This is completely barbaric! Were you raised by wolves??”

“Shut your mouth.” Toye said sharply.

He wouldn’t cave no matter how hard you struggled. He continued to carry you until he got to the house where you had been staying at with the field nurses. He opened the front door and practically threw you onto the couch in the main corridor.

“You���re an absolute animal, Joe Toye.” You snarled at him.

“Yeah? You haven’t even seen the worst of it yet.” He retorted.

You stood up, only to lose your balance and fell backward on to the couch again.

“Well save it.” You spit back crossing your arms, “You can go now. I’m sure that little dish at the bar is waiting on you.”

Toye furrowed his eyebrows at you, “You’re the only one even thinking about her. I haven’t even given her a second thought since you walked through the door of that place!”

You scoff, “Sure, Joe. Didn’t seem like it when your hands were all over her like a magnet.” You pointed out as you stood up slowly.

“Yeah?” He queried as he closed the gap between the two of you, “You mean like this?”

He roughly grabbed you by the waist and kneaded your hips with his strong calloused hands as he pulled you into him. Your faces so close, you thought he was going to kiss you, but he only hovered over your mouth. You were a deer in the headlights, your words caught in your throat somewhere. You almost forgot to take breath when you started to feel faint, so you took in a deep breath through your nose to recover.

You put your hands on his chest and started to push away.

“What are you doing, Toye?” You manage to say.

He jerked you back into him, slithering his one hand across the small of your back while the other one firmly caressed the swell of your ass. You tried to protest, but your voice betrayed you only allowing a whimper to escape from your throat. This man had you a melting hot mess in his arms and it only made you angrier that he was getting you flustered.

“What? Got nothin’ snarky to say now, sweetheart?” He teased.

The fire inside you began to rise, and you weren’t sure if it was because you were turned on, or pissed off.

“I hate you.” You sneered as you slipped out of his grasp and headed for the staircase.

Before you could lift your foot to take the first step, you feel yourself twirled back around and face to face with Toye in his arms.

*“Half of the people in the world are women…Why does it have to be you that stirs me?”* He growled before grabbing the back of your head to bring your mouth to his.

You wanted to fight back and push away again, but your body fought you, leaning into his body and fisting his uniform jacket to pull him as close as possible to you. You part your lips to allow his tongue to pass and explore yours. You playfully nip at his bottom lip eliciting a deep guttural groan from him. His hands scoured your body as his hips instinctively pushed his hard on against you. You dig your nails into his shoulders as you moan into his mouth.

You pull back, “Let’s take this upstairs.”

Toye only replied with a mischievous grin, then picked you up bridal style to carry you up the stairs. When you direct him to your room, he set you down to secure the door. Right at the moment he turned around, you forced him against the door and hungrily kiss him while unraveling his tie.

He grabbed you by the shoulders swinging you around pinning you against the door with a ‘thud’ then placed his hand around your throat. He tightened his grip enough to make a point he was in charge, but not hard enough to alarm you. You instinctively grab his wrist with both hands as you clenched your thighs together, hoping to get some friction against your core and to prevent the wetness from dripping down your leg.

You hissed through your teeth as a smile stretched across your face. Toye pressed himself harder against you, the bulge in his pants grinding into your pelvis. You slide one hand away from his wrist gradually finding your way to his belt buckle. His fingers around your neck increased their grip.

You ran your tongue along your lower lip. He looks from your eyes to your mouth as a smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth. He suddenly scooped you up from behind your thighs wrapping your legs around his waist and carried you over to the bed, dropping you on your back onto the mattress.

He removed his tie, then with one hand unbuckled his belt all the while staring at you like a starved wolf about to pounce on his prey. You scoot to the edge of the bed and start to unbutton your uniform top. He situated himself between your spread knees at the edge of the bed.

You look up at him through your lashes and smile as you start to work on removing his pants. Your top partially open with your cleavage peaking through, he fisted the front with both hands and yanked the blouse off your shoulders. You wiggle out of the shirt and drop his pants and briefs as he removed his uniform top.

Now you were both ravenous for eachother just yanking off articles of clothing and throwing them carelessly onto the floor. Finally when he slid your panties off, a devilish grin graced his face when he saw how wet you were for him.

He looked at you roguishly as he glided two of his fingers up and down your drenched slit.

“Is this all from me?” His gruff honeyed voice had you melting in his hand.

You nod without breaking eye contact. He crawled over you, caging you in between his brawny arms. As his hardened dick rested on top of your center, he started to grind into you, coating the tip of his cock with your slick between your folds.

You couldn’t help but arch your back, rhythmically moving your hips with his to feel him rub against your clit. Your needy sighs spurred him on, knowing he was making you feel so good.

“Oh my God, Toye-“

“No. No more ‘Toye.’ I want to hear you say my name.” He commanded.

You stare at him.

“Fucking say it.” He ordered.

“Joe…” you breathed as you playfully nip at his lower lip, greedily locking onto his mouth.

He lifted you by the ass and pushed his length through your dripping entrance with one fleeting thrust forward.

You gasp then wrap your legs around his waist, waiting for the ride to begin. Joe unleashed over a year’s worth of pent up rage and frustration from the war onto you, railing into you in almost a deliciously painful pace. He was rough, and aggressive, yet attentive and sensual.

He sat up resting on his heels and angled you closer into him by hugging your thighs against him and driving into you, hitting that spot that had you edging to your finish.

He feels your walls constricting around his cock, and starts to slow his tempo. You look at him with a pout.

All you could manage was a strained, “Why?”

He pulled out and hastily flipped you onto your hands and knees. He reached around your front under your arms once again grabbing your throat with his perfect hand. He pulls you back until your back was flush with his chest.

He guided the back of your head to rest on his shoulder before he turned to your ear.

“You think that fucking Fox Company chump could’ve done this for you?” He hissed.

You feel his grip constricting your neck. You’re so fucked out you can’t help but laugh.

“Fucking answer me, sweetheart. You think that asshole’s got anything on me?” His voice rumbling in your ear like thunder.

You start to pant, your bare chest and peaked nipples heaving from overstimulation and restriction of oxygen.

“No, Joe. Never.” You huffed.

You feel his lips curl into a smile against your jawline. He nipped at your ear.

“That’s right, baby.” He purred before he thrusted you forward on all fours.

He lined his dick up with your slippery pussy and entered you with a sweet push forward until he bottomed out. He plummeted into you, spanking you occasionally while his hips slammed into you.

“My God, Joe.” You moaned pushing back into him so he can get inside you as deep as possible.

“Yeah, scream my name so all Fox Company can hear.”

He had a vice grip on your waist, guiding you back everytime his hips came forward. The slams of his front against your ass grew steadily louder with groans and grunts between the two of you.

His stride began to stagger, and you could feel him pulsate inside you.

“I’m getting close, sweetheart.” You hear his low rugged voice from behind you.

“Me too, Joe.”

“I know, I can feel you squeezing on me. Let go, baby.” He hummed.

He reached around finding your clit and began rubbing hard circles onto the bud.

You close your eyes and focus on the sensation of where his hands were and the throbbing of his cock inside you then hearing his voice roar,

“Come on, baby, let go for me.”

He chased your orgasm until he felt your walls fluttering around his cock. You throw your head back practically howling as ropes of Joe’s cum released over and over again inside you. A guttural grunt left Joe’s lips as he groped your ass to have something to hold onto to steady himself.

Sweat glistened on his chiseled torso while he caught his breath. He snatched the hand towel by the basin next to the bed to clean you up after he pulled out. He plopped onto the bed next to you, pulling you into him to hold you.

You each sigh, content and relaxed in eachother’s afterglow.

“Your little bunny friend is going to be heart broken.” You joke.

Joe chuckled, “Yeah, I have that effect on people.”

You giggled.

“I got my girl right here.” He added.

Joe looked down adoringly at you with your head on his shoulder, sensing his eyes were on you, you look up at him. He gently kissed your lips, then rubbed his nose on the tip of yours.

~~~~~~~

[rimouskis]

update on this: we know nothing about his once-girlfriend-now-fiancee but I did some sleuthing (one of my god-given talents) and as I suspected her family IS mormon which means we NEED invites to this wedding. I need to see it for myself.

ohhhh my god my baby cousin got engaged. he's like 22 to be fair but STILL! YOUNG!!!!!! oh my god

[hometoursandotherstuff]

Somehow, I stumbled on 2 sexy-themed homes this morning. This one has an interesting background. It was a Polygamous church that got involved in Food Stamp Fraud. But, it's fairly cheap for a compound- the 1975 bldg. in Hildale, UT has 19bds, 13ba, and is a low $849K (Usually compounds are in the millions).

So, let's take a look. Maybe it can be turned into a mansion. It took 14 yrs. to settle the case and finally evict them from the property.

Oh, okay, this is nice. Balconies, a marble fireplace and built-in shelving.

It's very roomy and they left it nice and clean. I'm thinking that maybe the carpeted area is a dining room?

Wow, look at the size of the stove.

Two sinks and an industrial dishwasher.

Two huge commercial fridges. This is a nice wall, but it's across from the fridges. Maybe it's a small kitchen dining space?

Then, in the next room, there's a triple commercial sink, fridge, and door to a terrace.

A carpeted room off the front entrance.

Large room with a sink. They must have had this place custom built.

One of the baths. A simple 3pc. All 13 baths are similar- basic and utilitarian.

Now, also off the main room is a hallway where someone painted a mural.

Looks like an odd bedroom.

What in the world is this?

These stairs look kind of hidden.

A bedroom? The bed goes between the cabinets?

Sunny room with a door to the patio.

This place is huge. Why does it have these little steps in some rooms?

Bedroom with en-suite.

Stairs to another level.

Upstairs over the main room. This is so spacious.

The rounded bedrooms with access to the terrace are the nicest.

This carpeted room has a nice built-in.

Clothing storage is a simple closet w/o doors.

One of the rooms in the front - a nice round window with a view of the mountains.

More bedrooms on the 3rd fl.

It's a large property .93 acre, so it's almost an acre.

I wonder who would buy it? It appears to have been empty since 2019.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/495-W-Utah-Ave-Hildale-UT-84784/122541977_zpid/

https://www.fox13now.com/2019/06/18/after-14-years-the-legal-battle-over-the-flds-churchs-land-is-finally-over

[yippeeometer]

normal people jobs i believe wttt would have

okay so these losers have no need for jobs. theyre just bored. and they have to have some way to fight back when gov calls them all jobless.

arizona- circus performer.

he'd originally do it just so he could show off as a fire-eater but instantly gets bored and insists on learning how to trapeze. he brings it up daily in order to prove himself as more chaotic than florida. nobody gaf.

colorado- works at a climbing wall place for kids parties

frequently gets given warnings for 'bullying' because he instantly needs to prove he can climb faster than these children. also given warnings because he forgets to do the safety demonstrations. and smokes weed on the premises. and flirts with all the moms to get a slice of the birthday cake.

texas- low level bouncer/security guard

instantly takes everything too seriously and teh power goes straight to his head. absolutely convinced he's in a spy movie foiling secret plots to conspire against his bar. unable to be chill or cool. finds out that the current pope used to be a bouncer and doesnt shut up ab it for months. eventually quits bc okla starts calling him a city boy.

wyoming- movie reviewer

refuses to review anything but western movies and is techinically still jobless because he doesnt make any money. dedicates 20 years to the movies cali and vada were in just to piss them off and writes mean comments like 'costume choices were bad'. almost starts ww3.

mass- journalist

only does this to instigate and piss off people he hates. everything he writes is the nastiest most imflammatory shit you've ever seen and he's so proud of himself for it. gets way too political every time and has to be seperated at the NE meetings for bad mouthing them in increasingly ridiculous ways.

alaska- unspecified man of science.

no idea what he does but its something to do with science. hawai'i tells people he's making weapons and they're too scared to fact check her. gov becomes convinced he's a geographer when he sees the amount of maps on his walls but thats just him trying to pinpoint the exact location he should go for no one to bother him.

utah- youth pastor that no one respects

bless his heart. every week he's convinced he's made a breakthrough with these kids. there's more than one instagram page dedicated to taking pictures of him with filters when he doesn't notice. so smug ab his job for no real reason.

florida- livestreamer

livestreams himself eating random things. chat dares him to eat a shoe. cdc dreams about killing him with his teeth.

loui- backup trombone player

in a band, however was considered way too flakey because he's obsessed w his boy and frequently gets too drunk to remember when a performance is. damn that boy can play though.

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Zomboni

Debut: Plants vs. Zombies

Plants vs. Zombies is such a silly game. Silly is baked into its very code. And I love that! You know me! I live under rotting wood, eating silly and breaking it down into nutrient-rich soil! But I think Zomboni has the honor of being the silliest thing in this already-silly game!

There is no way Zomboni would exist if it weren't for the wordplay. So thank goodness for the wordplay! A zombie, on a Zamboni. Though, we are informed that it is actually "more closely related to a space ogre than a Zombie". What impeccable word choice! So it's not even actually a space ogre. Just some weird guy creature. Awesome

Zomboni drives an ice resurfacing machine, and I have no idea what the general public's knowledge level of these things is. Does the average person know the exist? I knew, but I played and hated playing hockey as a child so I got to watch the ice being resurfaced, which was the best part. Some guy who may or may not be tangentially related to space ogres will drive this machine around the ice rink, cutting down the surface and laying down fresh ice to make a nice and smooth surface, I think. Now, I may be using the generic term for this product, but commonly, there is one brand name that is used commonly, like Band-Aid or Q-Tip or Velcro, and for that we can thank...

Name: Frank J. Zamboni

Debut: Utah

Frank J. Zamboni! Hooray! What do you have to say, Frank?

Wow. So true, Frank. I'm sure this message is reaching its intended audience in this post. Anyway, ol' Ice Tank Frank made such an iconic machine that it is THE ice resurfacing machine in the public consciousness, and there is even a trademark for its iconic shape! That seems unnecessary but ok. Now, when the ghost of the Zamberino was scrying the mortal realm for references to his work in media, he came across parody in a funny video game, and OBVIOUSLY something had to be done about that!

And from then on, Zomboni's description was updated to reflect that it is NOT to be confused with a Zamboni® brand ice resurfacing machine, you silly billy, why would you think that? And they also plugged the Zamboni website in-game, so that the audience of, I must emphasize, a silly video game, would be more likely to buy an entire ice resurfacing machine, or at least its related merchandise. I really would think this would all be fine under parody law, but maybe it has to do with the shape trademark. Whatever. To the Zamboni company's credit, they have some incredible merchandise.

What a powerful item. With this, the course of a baby's life can be changed forever...

Zomboni with an O, I mean with two Os, approaches while creating a trail of freshly laid ice that cannot be planted on. The brand-ambiguous ice resurfacing machine is quite tough, but instant-kill plants are effective, as are Spikeweeds and Spikerocks, which will instantly pop its tires!

Zomboni is a considerable threat, instantly flattening any plant it reaches before its destruction, though the player should be pretty well-equipped to combat it, and the ice is laid on the right side of the screen, rather than the precious left side. Pretty manageable! But Zomboni is only the beginning, and as much delight and intrigue as I have gleaned from Zomboni's existence, it's what FOLLOWS Zomboni that is, in fact, my favorite zombie(s) in the game.

If Zomboni is allowed to create an ice trail, it will be used by Zombie Bobsled Team! Yeah, Frank got a whole "name/debut" section and these guys just get a bolded name in a sentence. You never know what I'm gonna do next! Hee hee!

Zombie Bobsled Team is exactly what it sounds like! A team of zombies, in a bobsled! So that's four zombies, with a defensive vehicle that has to be destroyed before they can be harmed! Zomboni was already over-the-top silly, and then Zombie Bobsled Team goes even higher over that top. And it's a Big Top, where they keep all the clowns. There is not much else I can say about Zombie Bobsled Team, but it really speaks for itself!

For some reason there exists official art of "Mullet Zombie", the Zomboni driver without his vehicle and hat. And for an even somer reason, they put it on the box art for the DS version! PvZ1 is simply very strange when it comes to official key art. Messed up.

[sammyluvr]

✶ all the time — luke alvez

cw : gn!bau!reader, comfort, insecurity and self doubt, ft emily for two seconds <3, minimal editing, 1.5K words. requested !

summary : luke notices that you're feeling down and reassures you.

sometimes it’s hard to think of yourself as a capable member of the bau when everyone else feels so much more capable than you. part of you knows it’s not your fault that you’re new and still getting the hang of things. it’s natural for there to be an adjustment period, but you feel honest to god stupid today. 

you’re on the way to a case in california, and after a long while of sharing theories and going over the files, there’s still over two hours left on the flight. you have retreated to the corner to be alone and wallow in self-doubt and insecurity. at the beginning of the flight, you’d floated a theory regarding possible causes of the unsub’s clear rage. that idea was considered for maybe a full second before tara countered it with a far more convincing and sensical thought. you’ve been pretty quiet since.

it’s a bit silly, because that sort of thing happens all the time. you’ve made your own counter points against other team members’ ideas plenty of times. in the early stages of an investigation, that’s basically how the whole profiling process goes. but things are digging their way past your defenses easily these days. you feel like shit nearly all the time.

luke sliding into the seat across from you with a careful look on his face makes you feel both better and worse. better, because you’re friends and he’s always so kind to you. also better because he has a very nice face to look at. you love his shoulders, too. and you feel worse only because you know that he’s going to ask you if something is wrong. he’s caring like that, making it easily known to everyone around him that he’s there to listen or even lend a shoulder to cry on.

“hey,” he starts with, voice low so as to not draw any attention. “you doin’ alright? you seem a little down these days.” he’s also honest and blunt, but not in any sort of way that feels insensitive. he just doesn’t beat around the bush, and proves that he’s observant and cares.

it’s a silly thing to tell a profiler that you’re fine when you aren’t, because you both know the truth. so you shrug, noncommittal and tired. you don’t really want to talk about it. not here, at least. others can hear you, and you feel stupid for feeling stupid. it’s a vicious and rather frustrating cycle that you can’t seem to break out of.

“just tired,” you tell him. you’re not lying, but you’re not exactly answering the question either.

“yeah,” he says, the one word full of more empathy than you thought it could. “it’s been a rough few weeks around here, huh?”

“tell me about it,” you huff. luke doesn’t say anything for a few moments, and the soft sounds around you come into a hazy sort of focus. reid flips the page of his book, and jj shifts in her seat. emily and rossi converse on the other end of the jet. then, luke speaks again and you almost physically wince at his words.

“is this about the case in salt lake?” he asks quietly. of course he’s figured it out. everyone probably has. you sigh and avoid looking him in the eye.

you shake your head. “i’m just tired,” you repeat, this time fully lying. yes, it’s about the case in utah from a few weeks ago. he gives you a look, the one that says ‘i know you’re not telling the truth’ and ‘you can tell me, it’s okay.’ it doesn’t feel very okay.

you take a deep breath, not finding it easy to say how you feel. the air escapes your lungs, and you still can’t look at him. “i just… i just feel stupid,” you whisper. “i’m embarrassed.”

luke feels his heart drop at that. he knows you’ve been feeling unsure, your confidence shaken since the incident. you were talking down an unsub, and slipped up a bit. you made him angrier and emily had to step in and fix it for you. since then, little things like your harmless theory today have been gnawing at you, like picking at the scabs of a fresh wound until it bleeds. what if you can’t think well enough on your feet? what if you’re not good enough for this job? maybe emily made a mistake in hiring you. and there’s the worst one; what if you get someone killed?

“hey,” he murmurs, voice soft and just a little bit admonishing. he doesn’t want you to feel that way. he reaches over the little table in the space between you and puts his hand over yours. “you are not stupid. trust me, i have done stupid shit before. you know, i’ve been suspended from the field and formally demoted to supervisory agent before. and i’m still here. slips-ups are okay.”

you raise an eyebrow. you hadn’t know that, actually, but you’ll ask for the story another day. “i’m still… embarrassed,” you mumble. ashamed, even. you hate to disappoint. “everyone heard. or saw. and everyone knew i messed up a beat before i did.”

“that just happens sometimes. and no one’s judging you. i promise. no one thinks that you can’t do this job, or anything like it. you deserve to be here, you just have to believe that,” he emphasizes, giving your hand a gentle squeeze before pulling away. he shouldn’t hold your hand for too long. “the rest of us do. we know it. you got that?”

you’re finally able to meet his eyes for more than a split second. he’s so sincere, and you know he’d never lie to you. plus, you’d see it if he was. you are a profiler, after all. so, you have to believe him. “yeah,” you breathe out. “got it. thank you, luke.”

he grins at you, and despite the truth that not everything is fixed—you still feel kind of shitty—it feels like everything will most certainly be alright. honestly, that smile of his is too lovely not to make you feel a whole lot lighter than you did moments ago. you smile back, a little more reserved than him. not so toothy, but no less sincere.

“of course,” he says, eyes earnest, “you’re a great profiler. seriously. being new to the bau isn’t always easy. but you belong here. this team is better with you, and it needs you.”

at that, you still feel a pinprick of doubt. ‘need’ feels like a strong word to you. that, and your heart stutters when he says you belong. it means everything to you. it all means everything to you, honestly, and it’s a bit overwhelming. he picks up on that all, of course, probably just by looking you in the eye. you’re not really trying to hide much, though. it’s easier to let the truth show on your face when you’re around him.

“i mean that,” he says wholeheartedly. then his tone turns a bit lighter. he’d love to be able to cheer you up, at least just a little bit. “you know, prentiss wouldn’t hire anyone we don’t need. she’s too smart for that. trust her judgement. she’s your boss.”

you crack another light smile. “yeah. she’s the boss.” 

the timing is just right; emily catches your words as she walks down the aisle on her wait to the bathroom. “are you talking about me behind my back?” she accuses teasingly, stopping by your side with a casual grin on her face.

“yes, ma’am,” you answer just as playfully, your mood finally taking a turn for the better. “luke was being very nasty, you should probably put him in charge of coffee runs for the next month.”

emily laughs a bit. “oh, you bet i will.”

“hey!” luke puts his hands up, indignant. “i was not being nasty, i was saying how smart you are!” he protests. the team often gangs up on him, as deserved, so he can be a little defensive. he’s grinning, though. emily just shakes her head and makes some other teasing comment before excusing herself to the bathroom. luke’s big smile lingers, even as his gaze leaves her and returns to you. he’s practically elated that you’re teasing. he loves your smile and the fact that you’ll play along with his stupid bits or start even sillier ones. you always make him laugh, and things have been a little dreary since you’ve been so down.

“it’s good to see you smiling,” he says. he’s so genuine it almost hurts. and you’re not so sure how to respond to that, so you let your lips curve up a little bit more, just for him.

“thanks,” you murmur, and he knows that you’re saying thank you to him for being the one to make you smile.

“anytime,” he says, hoping you know how much he means it. he’d like to make you smile all the time.

[gxlds-doodles]

silly doodles i did for my fnaf au!!!! MASSIVE LOREDUMP/NIGHTGUARD INFO UNDER THE CUT YAYAYAY!!! all these doodles are based on some sort of point listed below loll i wanted to store a bunch of character info somewhere and also because my original vincent + scott/au post is already outdated lol

GENERAL LORE

main story takes place in 2014 in hurricane, utah

main location of the story includes toys/fnaf 2 animatronics + withereds (who eventually get repaired yay!) + springtrap in a boarded up backroom or basement maybe, it's the same building as fredbear's that's gone through a bajillion renovations since good ol 1979

the pizzaplex exists in this universe! it's very very new, it was a very hard decision for scott to share the rights to the characters/brand name but the company was gonna go bankrupt since it had been falling out since the whole murders thing and just interest generally declining over the years so he did it to save the company basically or else his location would've shut down

circus baby's pizza world also exists but it's been abandoned for maaaany years by this point though it's eventually re-discovered

all animatronics are sentient, (i will have a separate post with character info for the animatronics) they all have their own personalities/characters 2014 fandom style and while some have ties to the missing children none of them are possessed 24/7. not even springtrap but that's for the animatronic post

scott straight up does not tell the guards the animatronics are sentient at first because he does not know how to bring it up or if they'll even believe him because to be fair it does sound insane. they all have their own weird little stories about how they found out

all of the main guards except scott were hired pretty recently because freddy's has a hard time keeping consistent staff, the staff as it stands is the most consistent it's been in YEARS

SCOTT EMILY 31 - trans guy - bi - puerto rican - dating vincent dorian

henry and melanie emily's son - his mom passed when he was about 8 and he was raised only by henry for most of his life

idk whether or not i'm gonna include charlie at all yet, but if i do she's been dead since LONG before the story started

house burned down when he was 16 after a fire set by william, half his face was severely burned

henry made his phone mask after this, at first it was to protect the healing injuries (and as a side project for henry since he hadn't made any robotic projects in a while) but scott quickly became attached to it and he never takes it off except when he's home alone

at this point in the au nobody has seen him fully take the mask off except when he lifts the bottom of it to eat or drink (or to kiss vincent :) )

went to university for computer science, very smart with math and tech which he definitely gets from his dad

became manager of freddy's after henry retired, very familiar with the place since he grew up with it

favourite animatronic is freddy bc he's basic /j (it's actually bc of his fond early memories of fredbear). least favourite is the puppet because it deeply unsettles him

always knew the 'tronics were sentient because he grew up with them

stressed All The Fucking Time but manages to hide it pretty well.

when he doesn't hide his stress he's a bit of a bitch when he's stressed out because he doesn't know how to control it very well

overall though he's a very friendly guy :) very sweet always looking out for his employees/friends who he loves so so much

kinda goes mother hen on the nightguards LOL he's always making sure they've gotten enough sleep and that they've eaten etc

the kids at freddy's LOVE him !! especially his phone head they're very intrigued by it!! scott is the best out of all the staff with kids (none of them are *bad* with kids except vincent though and even he's not terrible with them he just doesn't know what to do with them)

his and vincent's relationship is already established by the time the story starts, they've been dating for a couple months :)

LOVES chick flicks and shows of that vein. rip phone guy fnaf baby you would've loved legally blonde.

VINCENT AFTON DORIAN 27 - identifies as a cis guy but has some sort of gender fuckery going on - gay - armenian + british - dating scott emily

william and clara afton's only child, clara died when he was very young (cough cough BECAUSE OF WILLIAM cough cough) and he was raised by william as a single father for basically his whole life

had a TERRIBLE childhood. william is like supervillain levels of bad here ok we don't fw goldverse william

didn't grow up around the restaurant like scott did since william and henry parted ways around the time he was born

was raised to be william's partner-in-crime and follow in his footsteps. had to become friends with children who his father would later kill to gain their trust. this severely impacted his social skills because growing up he never saw the point of making friends. later on his father made him actually help with the killing and hiding the evidence which fucked him up even more

was also used for william's weird fucked up science experiments. this is why he's purple and his eyes are white

his purple hair is dyed to match the rest of him, his natural colour is black

he can't feel the cold or heat very well due to the experimentation done on him, but he gets effected by it. like he can wear a tank top and shorts in the dead of winter but he could still get hypothermia

has repressed a lot of the specifics about his childhood, doesn't actually remember what exactly made him look the way he does but knows it was his dad

moved out when he was 18, completely cut contact with william, changed his last name to his mom's and never looked back. did not find out his dad died until springtrap is found

doesn't have a high school degree, worked odd jobs to sustain himself after he moved out

second-last of the main cast to be hired, hired a year and a half prior to the story, basically applies because no where else will take him and it's also a massive fuck you to his dad in his mind

nightguard, mechanic for the animatronics and sometimes a dayshift guard if things get dire

he is NOT good with kids which is why he rarely ever takes the day shift, he doesn't actively hate them but because of The Trauma he is not good with them

however he really admires how good scott is with kids :")

favourite animatronic is the puppet because it's the only one his dad had absolutely 0 part in making, least favourite is springtrap due to the whole partly-possessed-by-his-dad thing

kiiiinda always knew the animatronics were sentient because he used to read his dad's old journals, but honestly until he started working there he just figured it was his dad going crazy and then he finds out they are in fact sentient and he's like oh guess he was right about that

does not have friends outside the pizzeria staff because of the aforementioned not good with people thing

tells NOBODY he's william afton's son, scott finds out after henry visits the pizzeria and recognizes vincent

vincent is sure he'll be fired after scott doesn't contact him for 2 weeks straight until scott calls him in and they talk about it. vincent assures scott he's nothing like his father and scott assures him he doesn't think he's like him at all he just needed time to process because of what william did to others and him specifically

scott tells nobody else about vincent's dad but they all find out later on in the story

scared as shit of needles. his ear piercings are clip ons for the look he can't do piercings or anything like that

when he had to get his flu shot he took mike with him because scott was busy and he was very embarrassed about it but he couldn't do it alone and it was actually a great bonding moment even if vincent passed out upon seeing the needle

always had a HUGE crush on scott. he's very flirty and general and makes a lot of jokes honestly that's just the way he is so scott was kinda oblivious at first but he eventually realizes and now they're happily dating <3

looooves horror movies. obviously. he can't handle anything revolving around child murder because it reminds him too much of his father though

i just KNOW he would love hannibal nbc

MIKE SCHMIDT 23 - cis guy - pan - half mexican half greek - dating jeremy fitzgerald

raised by his parents in hurricane, has an older sister and had a younger brother who's passed on, moved states when he was about 12, both parents are still alive and he has a good relationship with them and visits them frequently

his younger brother was killed by william which is what caused his family to move states

current roommates with jeremy, they attend the same college and were dormmates in first year (mike took a gap year) before getting an apartment together to share rent

going to college for a business degree

he and jeremy either get together near the beginning of the story or right before it starts i haven't decided quite yet but either way they end up together! 2014 jeremike my beloved

he started working at freddy's as a form of closure for himself because his brother loved freddy's before he was killed

blind in one eye due to a fight in high school where the other kid pulled a knife on him

has deep-rooted anger issues that he's trying to work on. he and vincent clashed because of this a lot when vincent first got hired because vincent never takes shit seriously Ever even when he should and it frustrated mike. they've argued a lot but they're chill now and they're bros!

but because of this when scott told mike he was dating vincent mike was like HIM??????? OF ALL PEOPLE?????????? but he's happy for them he was just surprised

favourite animatronic is bonnie because he thinks his guitar is awesome (he would LOVE rockstar bonnie i just know it), least favourite is foxy only because their similar personalities clash a LOT, mainly their anger

found out the animatronics were sentient after his dumbass got locked in the kitchen's freezer and they had to get him out. thought he was dead and hallucinating

loves puns much to everyone's dismay.... scott finds them funny but everyone else DREADS them

i think he'd LOVE breaking bad i've only watched a few episodes but i've seen enough to go yeah mike would like that

very film bro taste in movies. fight club, american psycho, pulp fiction, etc. (i also love all these movies. future film major moment)

JEREMY FITZGERALD 22 - cis guy - bi - polish - dating mike schmidt

born/grew up a few states over with his mom and step dad, only child, moved to hurricane for college

roommates with mike as mentioned, a psychology major at their college and also minoring in creative writing :) (also if any of my college/uni stuff isn't accurate my bad LMAO i'm not in college yet myself and also i think the us works differently than canada for that stuff)

has a stutter because of an injury he had in his childhood

gets spooked easily. mike jokingly says that he's like a baby deer and that if you're too loud you'll scare him to death

very nice guy but veeeery awkward around people

kinda a pushover at the start of the story but he gets character development

has worked at freddy's for just under 2 years, applied after mike and he became roommates and he was job hunting and mike (reluctantly) suggested freddy's to him because they're in dire need of employees

the animatronics creep him out honestly but he likes his job overall, his friends make it worth it <3 he likes working the dayshift and HATES working the nightshift alone

favourite animatronic is mangle :) pre-repair mangle is like a weird little dog to him LMFAO, i don't think he'd have a least favourite but some scare him more than most LOL

finds out the animatronics are sentient after mangle's systems are tampered with near the start of the story, leading her to go haywire and attacking the shit out of him. he wakes up in the hospital and is like damn that was the weirdest fever dream ever lol and scott is there in the corner of the room like remy you might wanna stay laying down for this.

he and vincent get along shockingly well! vincent is good at distracting him when he's panicking, which happens a lot during night shifts especially

not a fan of horror movies :( he's very squeamish

FRITZ SMITH 25 - trans guy - aroace - irish - happily single

didn't grow up in hurricane but in a town nearby, raised by his parents and has likee 3 siblings i haven't put much thought into his family life yet

went to university for game design!! makes his own indie games and has a small youtube + twitch channel that he uploads to when he has the time and feels like recording and editing

also i just KNOWW he'd make video essays about weird internet lore

fazbear superfan, has been going to the restaurant since he was a kid and has gone out to california to visit the pizzaplex but he likes the pizzeria in hurricane better because it feels more comfy and it's nostalgic to him

since he visited the pizzeria so much scott remembers him from when he was a kid!! they didn't rlly interact but he does remember him :)

because scott remembers him from when he was a kid he's also the only one to know he's trans since fritz is stealth (fritz eventually decides to tell the rest of the staff but that's not rlly story relevant honestly)

last of the main cast to be hired, has only been working for a few months, freddy's has always been his dream but he focused on university and getting his life together afterwards first and foremost

does the accounting for freddy's because scott is So Overwhelmed and fritz is very good at math so he eventually convinces scott to let him handle that stuff because scott is already handling everything else business wise (mike is going to college for business but that means he's also in college so scott didn't want to overwhelm him)

he's basically the closest thing scott has to a business partner, if scott ever has to take time off he's the stand-in manager

favourite animatronic is toy freddy because they're both gamers baybee!! he does not have a least favourite he loves them all :)

the only one to actually get told abt the whole sentient animatronics thing. scott sits him down after jeremy gets attacked to tell him because everyone else knows and he doesn't know how much longer he can keep a secret... but fritz is like i know :) and scott is like THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU KNOW?? and fritz pulls out a full notebook of weird little notes about the animatronic's behaviour and how it couldn't possibly just be AI and scott is like ok sure. well at least you don't think i'm crazy

he and mike LOVE to play games together!! mainly fighting games like mortal kombat, but they also play GTA V :)

he and vincent are the least close out of the whole cast, nothing personal they're still friends they just happen to be the least close

he and jeremy get along very well!! they're probably the calmest personalities out of the staff

he n jeremy also have a lot of the same interests tv show and movie wise so they do watch marathons a lot :D

[so-much-for-stardust6]

Body Paint- Wes Borland

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summary: you get all hot and bothered seeing your boyfriend (aka guitarist of one of the bands you’re touring with) dressed up in his show attire

lowercase intended

warnings: smut

a/n: this was requested by @mizfitneeds so thank u sm for the idea and i hope u like it 😭🙏 also i did not re read it so pls excuse any spelling or grammar mistakes

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it’s 1998 and my band, b/n, is on the family values tour with korn, limp bizkit, and a few other great musicians. this was a huge step for my band since we’re an all girl metal band, so touring with big bands will definitely get us seen. i’m not new to limp bizkit nor korn since i’m dating limp’s guitarist, wes borland. wes and i have been together for about a year, our 1 year anniversary coming up. he was actually the one who pitched the idea of my band to tour with them, head and jonathan actually liking the idea. today we were in west valley city, utah for a show and i was in wes’ dressing room helping him with his outfit for the concert. he decided with black body paint and his long black skirt.

“hey baby, can you help me with my back?” he asks, looking at me through the mirror.

“yeah of course.” i look up from my magazine.

i place it down next to me and get up, rolling up my sleeves. he hands me the body paint and i happily grab it. i wasn’t new to this process, having been with him on tour before. i scoop out some paint with my fingers and start to smear it on his back. i take the time to examine his toned back and the rest of his muscles. i’ve always known how strong wes is but i’ve never fully paid attention. my fingers danced along his porcelain skin, painting it. i bit my lip and try to ignore the feelings that are starting to creep up in my mind. wes is watching me through the mirror, an evil smirk on his lips.

“you okay there, baby?” he chuckles.

“huh? yeah, i’m fine. you ready to go out there?” i say excitedly, also trying to change the subject.

“yeah just-just got those nervous jitters, you know?”

“well like you always tell me before i go on, “you’re gonna kill it out there, baby” and you know it.” i wink at him and began to rub his shoulders, also getting paint on them.

“you know you massage me really well, i should ask for this more often.” he throws his head to the side.

“hmm, maybe you should. i also enjoy this.” i kiss behind his ear.

“you feelin’ alright, baby? you’re acting…not yourself.” his voice goes low.

i subconsciously began closing my legs, trying to stop that feeling in between them.

“yeah i’m doing fine! just that post performance adrenaline, you know.” i awkwardly chuckle.

i continue to cover his body with paint, ignoring his suggestive looks.

“alrighty, i think i got you all covered. you can do the rest, yeah?” i hand the paint back.

“maybe you can help with something else?”

i can tell there’s an suggestive tone in his voice and a certain gleam in his eye.

“i-uh…like what?” i nervously gulp.

“getting my stomach?” he grins innocently, handing me back the paint.

i sigh in frustration at his psychological teasing and take back the paint. i turn his chair around and motion for him to stand up. he listens and towers over me, looking down at me with his huge black lenses in his eyes. i begin to smear the paint all over his toned abs, hesitation in my touch as the dirty thoughts enter my brain again. i can feel his piercing gaze on the top of my head, following every stroke my fingers do.

“so, what do you wanna do tomorrow for our day off?”

“maybe sleep in? i know i wanna have my girl in my arms.” i feel him start to move his arms to hug me but i was quick to stop him.

“you’re covered in paint, wes. i don’t want it on me.”

“ugh, you’re no fun.” he huffs.

i chuckle and go back to his body. i’ve always loved how soft his skin is, how gentle it feels against my fingertips. i take in a shaky breath as i get closer to the waistline of his skirt. his strong prominent v-line was the only thing my eyes could focus on. i heard him lightly laugh, knowing instantly that he was watching me eye fuck him. i quickly finished up the rest of his body, giving him the paint back for good before excusing myself to the bathroom to wash the paint off. i take the time to splash cold water onto my face to calm myself down. i couldn’t get myself so worked up right now over wes. he’s already in his outfit, absolutely covered in black body paint so if we had a quickie it would be very obvious. i go back to wes’ dressing room, 15 minutes left before they go on stage. i walk in on him spiking up his hair with gel, achieving that classic wes borland hairstyle. i take a minute again to check him out one last time before taking a seat and resume reading the magazine i had.

the 13 minutes passed and now i was standing near the rest of limp bizkit who were at the side of the stage, getting ready to go out.

“you guys are gonna do great!” i tell them.

“thanks y/n/n!” lethal says with a smile.

“you gonna stay and watch?” wes asks me.

“of course.” i smile.

“good cause you’re the first person i wanna see when i get off stage.” he smirks.

he then leans down and presses a slow, long and seductive kiss onto my lips. my breathing stops and i swear so did my heart. i slowly start to kiss back but he pulls away, an evil smirk on his lips.

“see you after the show, baby.” he winks at me before they all rush on stage.

i mentally curse the tall sexy man i call mine.

“hey, y/n!” i hear my band mates call out.

i turn to look at them, all fresh and clean from their showers.

“you wanna go and hit some clubs? we’re feeling pumped after that show!” my guitarist exclaimed out.

“yeah! i’m ready to dance with somebody.” my guitarist winks then laughs.

“oh i would guys but i told wes i’d watch him play. maybe after the next show, for sure.” they all groaned at my response.

“pinky promise?” my bassist raised an eyebrow, sticking out her pinky.

“pinky promise.” i repeat back, hooking my pinky with hers.

“great! we’ll see you when we get back then!” my bassist says.

“that’s if she isn’t in wes’ bunk again!” my drummer jokes, elbowing them.

they all laugh and so do i because it’s honestly true, i basically sleep in wes’ bunk more than mine.

“yeah yeah, go on. be careful though, i need you guys for the rest of this tour!” i say jokingly but obviously being serious.

“yes mom!” my guitarist playfully rolls her eyes and they all make their way to whatever bar.

i turn back to the stage and watch as limp bizkit performs counterfeit. my eyes are dead set on wes the whole time, watching him make faces as he plays. i can already see sweat coating his paint covered body, a much needed shower is what he’ll need after. wes turns around to grab his water bottle once the song was over, eyes catching mine. he smiles at me before taking a quick swig of the liquid and placing it down. he sends a quick air kiss over to me before heading back to his spot. i blush at his actions and shuffle in my spot. time flies by and before i know it i see a sweaty wes approaching me.

“how’d you like it?!” he screams out, stretching his arms out for a hug.

i go to dodge it, not wanting to be covered in paint.

“it was fucking fantastic! you guys killed it!” i exclaim.

“i’m so glad you liked it, baby.“ he presses a kiss to my cheek.

“y/n! how’s my favorite girl doing?” i hear fred call out.

he’s approaching wes and i with jonathan right by his side. they both have beer in the hands, possibly a bit drunk.

“buzzed! you guys killed it! and i already know korn will too.” i smile at jonathan.

“you gonna stay and watch?” he asks.

“maybe? i dunno, i’m feeling a bit tired.”

wes suddenly pulls me in close before i could complain about his paint. i then feel his hand travel to the small of my back, distracting me from the conversation. i have no clue if he’s doing it on purpose or not but my mind was focused on him. i stare at fred with a blank face who was ranting on about whatever. wes’ hands start to dance along my back and travel high. my skin gets goosebumps and i slightly shiver at his touch. i turn to look at him, his eyes on the duo like nothings happening. i eye the sweat dripping down his paint covered chest and down his abs. i bite my lip and imagine the things i’d do to him.

“y/n? earth to y/n?!” fred shouts out, waving his hand in my face.

“hm? i’m sorry, i uh- i blanked out.” i awkwardly chuckle.

i see wes smirk out the corner of my eye and i knew i was done for.

“hey guys, i’m a bit tired and to be honest i wanna get out this paint. y/n and i will talk to you guys later, okay?”

“oh yeah, see you two tomorrow.” jonathan nods, suspiciously eyeing us.

wes began leading us to our room and i hear jonathan say something to fred.

“i bet you 2 bucks that she’s gonna end up pregnant by the end of this tour with the way they’re always fucking.”

“make it $20.”

i laugh in my head as wes leads us back to his room, my eyes focused on his strong back. those thoughts and that feeling between my legs came back and i was starting to become restless. we finally make it back into the dressing room and i was quick to lock the door. wes doesn’t notice my fidgety behavior and goes to sit in front of his mirror. i see him start to clean up his hands to take out this contact lenses.

“stop!” i blurt out.

he slowly turns around with a confused look on his face.

“k-keep them in.” i stutter.

i see his eyes scan my figure, pretending to try and figure out the reason for my behavior. his face goes soft once he seems how my thighs are squeezed together.

“tell me why.” he smirks, knowing exactly why.

“because you look hot in them.” i quickly admitted.

he motions me to sit down on his lap. i immediately don’t care about his body paint, i just want to be close to him.

“i’ve seen those looks you gave me earlier, baby. is something on your mind?” he tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear.

“nothing in particular, no.” i lie.

he can tell i’m lying, he always can.

“tsk, tsk, tsk. you gotta be honest with me if you want me to solve your problem. tell me exactly what you were thinking of.”

“your body. how strong your body is, how it’d feel to be against you.” i sheepishly admit.

my legs were on either side of his leg, my crotch placed perfectly on the top of his thigh.

i feel his hands grab my waist and start to slowly guide me. i follow his directions and start to slowly dry hump myself against him.

“fuck..i want you, wes.”

“thought you didn’t want this body paint on you?” he teases.

“oh fuck you. just kiss me, borland.”

he obeyed and strongly pressed his lips against mine. the feeling of his lip ring on my lips was something i’d never get used to. my hand goes to press on the back of his neck to deepen the kiss. i feel the paint smearing all over my hands and onto my arms. my other hand goes to run through his gel slicked hair, breaking it apart. i moan into the kiss which causes his grip on my waist to tighten. he speeds up the pace my hips are going, some slight pleasure erupting from down there. the texture of my jeans are too thick for me to really feel anything, so i abruptly get up from his lap and take them off. i shimmy them down my legs and kick them off as well as my shoes. i go back to his lap, only in my underwear that already had a wet spot. wes brought his band to them, feeling how wet i am through the underwear.

“does my body paint really do this to you?” he groans out.

i only moan back, my brain being shut off from the feeling of him close to me. he brings me back into another sloppy kiss and continues my thigh riding. this time the pleasure was 10 times more intense, the adrenaline in my veins pumping. i had a good grip on his shoulder, occasionally squeezing them when the pleasure gets a little too much. he keeps a good grip on my hips as he guides me even faster, a wet spot now on his thigh. i open my eyes and look into the mirror behind wes. the image of me riding his skirt covered thigh made me moan loudly into his mouth, the feeling of an orgasm approaching. i wish i could take a picture of what i was seeing because holy shit. i was riding my boyfriend’s thigh as he was wearing black body paint, black long skirt, and spiked up hair. as i watched me ride his thigh, my orgasm approached me faster. next thing i know i’m cumming all over his thigh, body coming to a halt.

i pull away from the kiss and press out foreheads together. we sat there catching our breaths as i calm down from the orgasm.

“so fucking wet for me.” he mumbles, looking down at the wetness on his skirt.

“take it off.”

“what?”

“take the skirt off.” i say breathlessly.

i shakily stand up to give him a chance to do so. he didn’t hesitate to quickly shove his skirt and boxers down his legs, letting his hard erection spring out. his tip was red and leaking with precum.

“already so hard? i barely did anything.” i tease.

he mocks me before roughly grabbing my hips and sitting me back down onto his lap. i run my hands all over his body, still not caring about the smudging paint. i then go to take off my shirt, exposing my braless torso.

“i fucking knew it.”

his hands go to grope my boobs, massaging them. i didn’t wanna waste any more time so i push my underwear aside and grab his dick. i run his tip through my wet folds. he moans out at the feeling and i shiver at the contact. wes’ hips suddenly buckle up which caused him to slide into me. we both moan out at the suddenness but continue with it. he starts to thrust his hips up, the sound of skin slapping echoed the room. his body paint began smearing all over me, getting all over the places our bodies connected. his hands roamed my body, gripping and squeezing any part he could. i ran my hands along his abs, getting his paint under my nails and clenching around him at the touch. the air in the room became hot in an instant, my skin starting to becoming sticky and sweaty. my boobs bounced up with every thrust, wes’ black eyes hypnotized by them. he leans down to press harsh kisses along my neck, sucking and biting them as well. he created dark purple hickies all over, not caring about the public eye. around the hickies he left black circles due to paint on his lips, marking me in many ways. he sucked at my sweet spot, my stomach doing flips at the feeling. wes had a hold on my ass, lifting me up to get a better angle for thrusting. he went harder and faster, a moan escaping my swollen lips.

my eyes were closed shut as i focus on the immense pleasure i was receiving. wes pulled away from my neck to watch my face, pure bliss covering it. he smirked at my reaction his to actions. he kissed me once again, this time sneaking his tongue into my mouth. our tongues danced and fought for dominance. dominance of what? i don’t know but we fought. that familiar feeling came back and was rising quickly. my knees start to feel weak and my body slowly starts to go limp. he noticed my sudden change in body language and realized i was close. he brought a hand to my clit and began rubbing. i always say it but i’m still damn surprised at how fast his fingers are. i was moaning all about into his mouth, pulling away eventually to moan out loud.

“come on, baby. i know you’re close.” he breaths out.

he goes faster with his motions, tipping me over. i cry out as i cum all over his dick, walls stuttering as i do so. the feeling of me clenching against him caused him to cum as well. i felt his spurts of cum inside of me, my cheeks instantly heating up. i wind down from my orgasm and collapse against his chest.

“maybe i should wear this more often.” he jokes.

“yeah, good luck finding someone to get your back.”

“we need to get you cleaned up.” he laughs at my appearance.

i sit up and look into the mirror, gasping out at the sight of me. i don’t know what i was expecting but i was covered in black paint. his handprints were shown on my boobs and splotches of paint littered my neck. my waist has also fallen victim. the area around my mouth was also covered in paint causing me to laugh. random spots on my body also got covered with paint.

“i look so silly!”

wes’ eyes brighten up at my laughter, a bright smile on his face.

“you wanna shower together? you know it saves water.” he wiggles his eyebrows.

“hmm, okay. but there’s no way we’re having a round 3.” i scold him.

he chuckles at my words and helps me off of him. he kicks off his shoes and clothing as he guides us to the bathroom. we in fact did have a round 3.

[confusedhockeyslut]

Because of the emotion and the pressure and everything else that goes with it, is a relationship like you and Conor have almost deeper than a brotherhood?

Leon: Yeah, I think we've just been through, you know, the identical things in a way. You know, obviously, there's always more attention on Conor, and rightfully so, that's the way it's supposed to be. But in a way, you know, we've gone through the same ups and downs in our organization. We're chasing the same things. Our priorities over time have changed together. And I think we've just gone through a lot of the similar things in a way. And, you know, it's just amazing to have someone that understands you, that understands what you're feeling, understands what you're going through, and ultimately understands me as a person better than me as a player, right? He knows me as a player. But I think our relationship is so special because I see when he's struggling, he knows exactly what I need when I'm struggling. And I think that's something very special and that, you know, we're very proud of.

Why don't I switch subjects with you a little bit? because Sean had asked me one time if you could pick any NHL player to live with, who would it be?

You have a unique perspective on this that I don't have, obviously. If you could had if you had to do it, who would you if anybody on the oilers that you had to do, who would you live with if you had to live with a teammate? And there's a lot that goes into this personality.

You know, yeah, live with a cooking ability.

Leon: Yeah, I'm going to need that. God, man, that's a that's a really hard question. I was not prepared for this.

No, you never thought about that one.

Leon: No, I never thought of that one. Maybe Connor, because I think we're very alike and very similar in certain things. And I think we always, you know, we enjoy talking about hockey. We love the game. We love getting better. We love watching. So we love sports in general together. And I think he would be a pretty easy guy to live with.

You were talking about Connor before, too, and I had thought of this. And now the way you were just talking about it here. If you guys weren't linked together with Edmonton, do you think you'd be buddies?

Like, because of the personalities that you have?

Leon: Yeah, I mean, it's a possibility, yeah. A lot of times, you know, you become really close with teammates or people that you play with. You spend a lot of time with, right? Friendships, they take time to develop. But definitely a character that I would probably gravitate towards.

[thequarterkid]

Teen!Michael Afton x fem!reader

Prologue & Chapter 1

No warnings for this chapter

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(Main updates on Wattpad, same user)

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Prologue

"Like how all good romance stories start, the protagonist moves to a new town, then meets their best friend.. or they meet their one true love. Doesn't really matter, because they meet one of the two first and either have a cute, sentimental, cringy, funny, or whatever else moment together that could shape their relationship for the rest of the book.."

The boy huffed out in boredom, interrupting the speech his older sister was giving him.

"I don't careee." He groaned out, "Mom, can we please get something to eat? I can feel my belly eating itself!" The boy continued to complain. He really didn't know when to stop talking, that was one of his bigger issues, just running his mouth anytime he pleased. Y/N wasn't too fond of people like that, but for him, she had to make an exception.

"Connor, be quiet, we ate like half an hour ago! Also, if you're too bored to be hearing me talk about my book, then like," she paused for a moment, not knowing what to come up with. "Just look out the window or something, daydream! That's what I do." 

Her brother just stared at her. "That's because you're mentally challenged." The woman in the drivers seat intervened, she sent a cold glare through the mirror as a warning. "Sorry..." The boy mumbled, looking down at his feet. "It's just what Justin said, though." Mentioning the name of Connors old 'friend' made their mothers blood boil. The kid had no respect.

"Yes well, Justin, will not be filling your head up with offensive terms any longer, that's for sure!" Their mother said. "You'll make new and better friends, hopefully ones that will inspire you to be a better person. Although, you might be the inspirer, Y/N!" She giggled at her own comment, "Teach these teenage hooligans some manners!"

"How do you know Y/N will make friends? She couldn't do that in our old city." Of course Connor had to pipe up, but he quickly shut down once he felt a kick to his leg and his older sister staring him straight in the eyes. Silence filled the car once again, moves were always awkward, for everyone. But where they were moving to felt worse.

They were going to Hurricane, a city in Utah. She wouldn't be surprised if the locals started yelling at them in their weird accents, Southern? Western? One of the two. Of course the scenery definitely changed from what their family was used to, from the beautiful Northwest shores and the green forests of Oregon to the partly green and very red landscape of Utah.

"This place is a desert.." Y/N said under her breath as she watched the town from out the car window. They had reached Hurricane, now all they had to do was reach their new house. Oh the joy.. "I hope our house is at least cool, right Connor?" She turned to her brother for his answer.

"I better get the biggest room." He said.

"Mom gets the biggest room, she's the adult, remember?"

"Well then I better get second biggest."

"Second biggest goes to me."

"What?! Why?"

"I'm older than you!"

Their mother had to pop in to make them stop bickering like they usually did. "If you two don't stop I'll kick you out of the vehicle and make you find your way to the house." That shut them right up.

She sighed and went back to watching out the window, watching the buildings, what greenery there was, the other cars, the people, all flashing by. At some point when they were at a red traffic light she saw a group of boys, that were probably around her age, messing around on the sidewalk.

They laughed and pushed each other around, until one of them fell, a rather small and skinny boy, than they laughed at him. The one on the ground mocked them and got up, he must have said something weird or wrong because it made one of the other boys run at him until they were in a chase, leaving the other two behind.

'What a strange city this is going to be.' She thought to herself.

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Chapter 1

It had been about a week from when they moved into their new house. When they did get there on the first day it was already the evening, so for bed they put some pieces of foam down, laid the sleeping bags on top, and went to sleep. Over the past few days they had managed to get a good set up in there house going, even if they still had a few things to unpack. The house wasn't bad Y/N had to admit, she thought it was rather cozy, and she absolutely loved her room.

She resided on the second story like the rest of the bedrooms. As soon as you'd walk into her room you would have her closet on your left and you'd be looking straight of the window, which had a seat so you could sit and watch whatever happens on the street below. The window itself also opened up, it gave her access to part of the roof, where it was luckily not to steep so she could sit there too if she pleased.

That's what she did that day, read a few books, unpacked her and set up the rest of her room until she was finished, and now stared out her window. She did decide to go outside when she saw her brother in the front yard, she was curious as to what he was doing and how he was setting in.

When she went out she could see Connor dribbling his basketball in the driveway, the ball repeatedly hitting the worn and cracked surface made a sound that she almost made her believe it was echoing, and that the neighbours could hear it. "Hey Connor." She called to the boy, making him turn to look at her. "You doing alright?"

He shrugged, "Ya, just missing our old city. Mom said I'll get used to this place though, so I guess I'm alright." Connor looked down at the sun bleached ball in his hands. "Why'd we move hear again?"

He asked looking up at her.

"Grandmas' been lonely ever since Grandpa passed. Mom just thought she would need some company, even if we had to leave everything behind." She didn't know how he forgot already, although, that was basically his thing. Forgetting the most important of things and remembering the dumbest stuff. She had no idea how his brain functioned the way it did, with the amount of stupid stuff he's done.

"Oh yeah.." Connor threw his ball against the wall of the house, just above the garage door. They needed a hoop for him, in their old neighbourhood they had a basketball court pretty much right across the street, so Y/N and her mom could keep an eye on him but still remain on their property. The ball bounced farther then what Connor expected and it rolled onto the road, though it still was close enough to the sidewalk, this made Connor more careless when retrieving the object.

What the siblings couldn't see was the bicycle hurtling down the road, and as Connor ran out to snatch the ball back the person on the bike had to hit the brakes hard. The bike toppled over a bit but the person riding it caught himself with his foot. "Christ!" The boy yelled out when he almost hit Connor, strands of brown hair fell as the boy looked down at her brother, who had shrunk down in shock and was holding the ball to his chest. The boy stared at Connor, his blue eyes wide.

Neither of them said anything so the boy huffed out a breath and continued riding down the street, he didn't say sorry, he didn't curse Connor out, he just left. But he left too quickly because Y/N wasn't able to reach him in time and apologize for her brothers recklessness. She just let the air out of her lungs and took a moment to process how bad that interaction could've gone.

Connor slowly got up and looked over at Y/N, still a bit shocked but had enough thoughts to say something, even if it was unimportant. "He wasn't wearing a helmet." This just made Y/N stare down at him but not say anything. "Like imagine he went flying, he would've gotten really hurt." Connor tried to lighten the mood. He was not doing a good job.

"You would have gotten really hurt if he crashed into you!" She exclaimed as she walked over to the side of the garage where she had placed her own bike. The only response she got from him was a shrug. Y/N sighed and punched the bridge of her nose. "Look, I'm going out. There's this place called Fredbears Family Diner that I want to check out, do you want to come with me?"

"Not really." Connor shook his head, then seemed to think for a moment. Could you get me something from there if you can, please?" He asked politely.

"Why not." She agreed, she didn't mind spending money on him when it was stuff like this, plus she had plenty on her. "I'll see you later. Just remember to stay inside, if you have to go outside go to the backyard, just please don't get injured while I'm away." She turned and started to get seated on her bike before remembering something else, "Oh, and mom is coming home at 9!"

Her younger brother nodded, marking everything down mentally, hoping he'd recall it later. He looked down at his watch, "You have 8 hours before she's home." Then he headed for the front door, he was probably going to play with his cars.

"See you in a bit!" She waved to him and headed in what was hopefully the direction of the diner.

It was also the direction in which the boy on the bike was going.

[puckpocketed]

Hello. You might have seen this floating around on twt:

link 1 // link 2, archive link

If by any chance you or someone you know are thinking about joining in on the challenge… no one can stop you but I implore you as someone who makes art, as someone with friends in an often-exploited creative industry, as someone who lives in late stage capitalism alongside you and has seen this play out before: proceed with caution.

Read the fine print on that form. There is NO guarantee of an internship, much less a job at the end of it. I haven't gone further than this form, but if anyone reading this does, and if there's no written agreement that your work won't be used without credit to you + payment for services rendered - RUN.

This is a common corporate tactic to get free labor out of people. I'm not saying this is necessarily what’s happening; for all we know this was done as a completely innocent move to drum up some fan engagement and as a genuine search for talent for their analytics team. WHO KNOWS. But I can't ignore that I’ve seen this situation play out again and again, at every scale.

Job interviews, when they ask you how YOU think they should improve their systems, how YOU would solve their problems? When they require that you do some problem-solving for them, and it goes beyond a simple task? That’s a free consultation you’re giving them, that's free work you or someone else should be getting paid for.

When big streamers/influencers ask their fans to join in on a fan art contest to choose their new pfp/banner? That’s hundreds, possibly thousands of pieces of free art they never would’ve gotten otherwise. They could've gone to the trouble of paying someone in-house to do it, hiring someone for that position, commissioning a professional for a piece. It's free work from their dedicated fans.

In this case, Utah HC is asking fans to not only choose/provide their own dataset, but to do a complex analysis on it AND do the work of visual and verbal communication to senior management, who likely do not have a deeper grasp of the concepts and will need it simplified. The stipulation that you will present your work could be ANYTHING!! The "five page deliverable" is already bananas to me, having dipped my toe into what analytics is and how complex the fun ones are. Condensing it all is WORK. The presentation portion may include speaking time and answering questions; the groundwork for doing this effectively may include producing data visualisations, making spreadsheets, time consuming write-ups. Maths and science communication is hard. It is WORK. They are asking for free labor.

Many have already called it out, but it's still gaining traction via retweets from big accounts uncritically sharing it. I found out through the official Puckpedia account. Jack Han called it out pretty eloquently on twitter and on his substack:

Many people aspire to work as an analyst in the NHL. Earlier today the Utah Hockey Club gave those people a glimmer of hope. Utah’s Summer Analytics Challenge is unusual in that it doesn’t provide a dataset or detailed instructions. The open-ended contests contrasts with other public (ex: Big Data Cup) or private (ex: NHL team interview) events. In those scenarios, participants are given proprietary data to clean, model and analyze, which influence direction and methodology. Meanwhile, Utah is seemingly happy with anything as long as the writeup is under five pages long. Utah’s contest also stands out in its near-total absence of legal fine print. There are no mention of intellectual property implications, which is perhaps fitting when the team is asking participants to bring their own data and analysis. [...] Open casting calls such as Utah’s analytics challenge start out as a lose-lose-lose proposition: > The employer loses because it will have to invest massive human resources to trawl/filter/evaluate/reverse-engineer the hundreds of write-ups it is sure to receive, with no guarantee that any of them will be of use > Applicants lose because the vast, vast majority of them will have nothing to show for their efforts, while a tiny minority risks having its IP stolen > Good ideas lose because they’ll be born into an environment where their parents (the applicant & the employer) have no defined relationship and won’t be in a position to grow together

link, archive link

I do try to keep things light on this blog, but this is super personal for me <3 thank u for listening

[mariacallous]

Celeste Borys and Kira Lynch don’t leave the house much these days. When they do venture into their small Utah communities—to go grocery shopping, to take their kids to school or the playground—neighbors whisper and stare. “I’ve had people take pictures and videos of me, and I've had someone come up and yell at me,” Lynch says. “Someone at my daughter’s junior high told me to keep my mouth shut and called me some bad names. It’s terrifying.”

“I don’t leave unless I have to,” says Borys. “My day-to-day life doesn’t exist.”

The man whose followers scorn and harass them seems to have no such problems. Long a household name in conservative Mormon circles, Tim Ballard has become nationally known in recent years: He’s the former operative for Homeland Security who says he became so alarmed during the Obama administration by the government’s supposed inaction on child sex trafficking that he decided to go out and fight it on his own, recruiting other true believers to join him on dramatic sting operations in dangerous places, later serving as cochair of the Trump administration’s advisory council on trafficking and ultimately inspiring the heavily fictionalized film Sound of Freedom based on Operation Underground Railroad (OUR), the anti-trafficking organization he founded. (The organization now goes by the name OUR Rescue.)

Ballard is also a defendant in ongoing civil lawsuits in Utah brought by women—Borys and Lynch among them—who allege that he sexually abused them under the guise of saving children. Borys and Lynch have filed police reports regarding their allegations that Ballard sexually assaulted them; Ballard has denied the claims made against him. OUR, which is mentioned in one of the suits, has countersued Borys and her husband.

“This is just a bunch of random details, gossip, and easily disproven falsehoods packaged up to generate some quick clicks,” Ballard’s spokesperson Chad Kolton wrote in response to a request for comment; he also notes that the claims against Ballard in a separate suit have been dismissed. That suit was brought by a veteran Marine who said she was injured at a training overseen by Ballard; a judge ruled she did not have standing to bring it because she had signed a waiver.

While Borys and Lynch mostly stay at home, talking to their families, each other, and their lawyers, Ballard, when not defending himself by claiming he’s the victim of a shakedown, makes regular appearances at high-profile Republican events. He showed up at the Conservative Political Action Conference in February. In March, he joined a Catholic event at Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort alongside Roger Stone and Michael Flynn. In April, Mar-a-Lago hosted a fundraiser for the Ballard Family Legal Defense Fund. At the Republican National Convention in Milwaukee this summer, he sat for an interview with Trump’s former lawyer, Rudy Giuliani. “The leftist agenda is almost verbatim the pedophile agenda,” said Ballard, grim-faced beneath a cap bearing the logo of Aerial Recovery, a self-described disaster relief and anti-trafficking group with which he now works. “You’ve got supporters here, Tim,” Giuliani told Ballard, adding, a moment later, “Pretty soon, you’re going to have one in the strongest and most powerful position in the world.”

All of this is fairly shocking to Lynch and Borys, who worked with Ballard at OUR. Just last summer, Borys says, she was by Ballard’s side as he crisscrossed Capitol Hill, meeting with Republican legislators about human trafficking and reveling with them in the success of Sound of Freedom, which brought in around $250 million in global ticket sales. “Those people know my face,” she says. “I was in those meetings and on phone calls and texting different people in the congressional world.” By fall, it emerged that Ballard and OUR had parted ways months before, following an investigation into claims of sexual misconduct that employees had made against him. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a longtime supporter of Ballard, publicly rebuked him for “morally unacceptable” behavior. And in the fall of 2023, accusers filed the first set of lawsuits against Ballard. Yet Ballard’s star on the Trumpist right never dimmed.

“They know what’s going on with him right now,” Borys says. “For them to ignore it but then to promote him, it’s so disgusting to me.”

Lynch met Ballard in 2021, when she was giving him a haircut. She’d seen Sound of Freedom in an early preview but at the time didn’t realize that she was cutting the hair of the man on whose life it was loosely based. All she knew was that he was famous.

“I’m kind of a big deal,” she remembers him telling her; he was taken aback and even offended that she didn’t know more about him. He told her, she says, about the amazing things he did and how children were saved by his operations.

“He’s talking about children and sex slavery,” she says. “I’m a mother of four. I’m like, ‘Oh my gosh.’ I got sucked in right that second.”

When Ballard asked if she wanted to get involved in his mission, Lynch says, she enthusiastically agreed. She had just gone through a crushing divorce, and her father was dying of a brain tumor. Lynch was, she says, “desperate for something to come along and help me spiritually.” Lynch says that Ballard told her that he was close friends with M. Russell Ballard, a high-ranking member of the LDS Church’s second-highest governing body, the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.

OUR was a powerhouse long before Sound of Freedom appeared in theaters, raising millions of dollars in donations every year from devoted fans. The group’s exploits were frequently exaggerated. At the White House and in op-eds, for example, Ballard told the story of how the group had helped rescue a teenage girl who was trafficked from Mexico to New York and forced into sex work for several years, citing the story as evidence of the need for a border wall; at one point, he said the group had helped her “escape her hell.” In fact, according to court records, the girl rescued herself and didn’t come into contact with OUR until well after she’d escaped her captors.

Additionally, as early as 2020, a letter was circulating in philanthropic circles in Utah accusing Ballard of misconduct toward women. OUR denied everything: In a statement to Vice News at the time, an OUR spokesperson wrote, “OUR categorically denies the baseless allegations made in the anonymous letter shared with Vice. The OUR board of directors received the letter 12 months ago and, after a thorough investigation, found zero evidence to corroborate the allegations contained in the letter.”

In Lynch’s community, Ballard was still regarded as a hero. Members of her family, she says, were fans of Ballard’s; her mother gasped in excitement when she learned that Lynch had just done his hair, and showed her a shelf full of books that Ballard had written. “They were all praising him to the roof,” Lynch says. “Automatically, that put me in a very safe place with him in my head.”

Ballard’s books, several of which were published by an LDS Church–owned imprint and promoted by the conservative influencer Glenn Beck, contributed a great deal to his fame and followed two tracks. On one, he lays out supposed ties between figures from American history like George Washington and Mormonism. On the other, he positions himself as a modern-day abolitionist, part of a line with Harriet Tubman. One book, Operation Toussaint, is an adaptation of a documentary showing Ballard and his associates carrying out paramilitary work in Haiti. Missions like this were the basis of Ballard’s image as the leader of an elite group of operators doing the work governments didn’t dare and wresting sex slaves from the hands of traffickers. (Files from an investigation carried out by a Utah prosecutor and the FBI released under a public records request would later show these missions in a much less glamorous light—detailing, among other things, the role of a psychic medium named Janet Russon in providing intelligence and one of Ballard’s backers groping the naked breasts of a trafficking victim he believed to be a minor.)

Lynch never went on missions with Ballard. She was instead asked, she says—after being told of the visions he’d had of them working together to save children—to participate in training operations in which they went to strip clubs.

The first time, she alleges, Ballard arrived at her house beforehand with a close friend and OUR employee in tow, as well as Ballard’s son. At her house, Ballard asked her to put fake tattoos and eyeliner on him, getting into the undercover persona he used, which he called “Brian Black.” But almost immediately, Lynch says, once Ballard was in character, he began groping her and trying to kiss her body while she asked him to stop and reminded him that his son and friend were waiting. The behavior continued as the two rode in an Uber, Lynch says, which she calls “horrific.”

“He doesn’t listen,” she says. “He gets in this mindset where it's like he doesn’t see or hear you. It’s whatever he wants.”

Borys, for her part, began working with OUR in July of 2022 as a volunteer before moving on to paid roles in October of that year; by the time she left the organization, she was working as Ballard’s executive assistant. She also began secretly going on missions when, she says, Ballard told her he “was in the middle of a trafficking ring operation and needed a new female partner to come in” to play his girlfriend.

This was part of what Ballard has called the “couples ruse,” in which he and a woman would tell traffickers they were romantic partners, and act as such, while on missions. Ballard has claimed this was necessary to ensure that he and other male operators wouldn’t have to engage in sexual behavior with victims or traffickers while undercover.

Almost immediately after agreeing to work as Ballard’s partner, Borys’ affidavit says, she was flown to California to do “ops training,” which consisted of staying in hotels, hot-tubbing at a Four Seasons, doing workouts on the beach, and Ballard showing Borys what kind of physical acts they had to do while “undercover” and what his supposed boundaries were. She describes him lifting her shirt to admire her stomach, complimenting her “hot body,” kissing her on the neck and insisting it was fine since it avoided kissing on the lips, and showing her how he simulated sexual penetration during operations to fool traffickers who might be observing them.

Ballard, her affidavit says, told her that traffickers could “smell pheromones,” and so they needed to have real sexual chemistry in order to fool them. (The affidavit also alleges that Ballard removed his temple garment, which observant members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints wear under their clothes, telling her “he sees angels all around, and that this isn't wrong.”)

Their first practice operation happened in Mexico, the affidavit says, where she was forced to get a couples massage with Ballard that culminated in a female massage therapist touching her in a sexual way while she froze, closed her eyes, and waited for it to be over. “I heard Tim say he had never seen this done so close and he was getting a lesson,” Borys writes in the affidavit.

"Within seconds, once I was there, I found myself in a situation where I didn't even have time to get out of it,” she says. “I was just staring at him for help.” Afterward, she recalls, she wept, and he told her, “We’re going to save so many kids, you have no idea.’”

Borys doesn’t believe these missions ever led to the rescue of a child. They nonetheless persisted—as did, her affidavit says, not just sexually abusive but spiritually manipulative behavior. Borys, who was raised a Latter-day Saint but is no longer practicing—”I’m so glad you’re not LDS anymore,” she remembers him saying—became enmeshed with Russon, the psychic medium. (Russon did not respond to a request for comment.)

“My life revolved around Janet and her readings,” Borys says; Russon would claim to channel her grandmother and allegedly encourage her and other operators not to worry about taking part in sexualized behavior.

“Janet would say, ‘Our bodies are just bodies, and God gave us bodies to use them to go save kids,’” Borys says.

Ballard, Lynch says, would also frequently assure her while touching her inappropriately that they were doing the right thing, saying things like “I know this is hard, but God will be with us,” and “we’re bringing light into dark places.” He also explicitly told her, she says, that the couples ruse was sanctioned by both God and M. Russell Ballard. (The denunciation LDS Church leadership issued of Tim Ballard in 2023 cited “the unauthorized use of President Ballard’s name for Tim Ballard’s personal advantage and activity regarded as morally unacceptable.”)

The allegations are not limited to the workings of couples ruse. At one point, Lynch’s affidavit says, Ballard came over to her house and sexually assaulted her on her staircase—something her lawyers say she reported to authorities in the fall of 2023, after joining the civil suit. (The following day, in text messages to her that WIRED has viewed, he asked to come by and pick up his belt, which he’d left lying on her floor.)

In early July, the women’s legal team filed a motion in which they say the state crime lab told them that DNA found on Borys’ skirt matched Ballard’s. (Borys alleges that Ballard sexually assaulted her and ejaculated on her leather skirt.) The motion urged the court to instruct the Utah County Sheriff’s Office to turn over the crime lab analysis to Borys’ legal team.

(In a statement to Utah outlet Fox 13, Ballard’s team accused Borys’ legal team of tainting a criminal investigation, asserting this was “consistent with the other illegal and unethical behavior that has been a hallmark of the Borys case.” Janet Russon, meanwhile, appeared on a podcast called The Last Dispensation and suggested that Ballard’s semen could have been found on her skirt because the two shared a suitcase. )

It took a while, Borys says, before she began to view herself as a victim of sexual misconduct. “I remember doing something on an op and I was so scared to go do this specific thing,” she says, her voice breaking. “And right before, all I could think was, ‘If little kids are having to do this, I can do this.’”

She would go home at night and make dinner—“trying to compartmentalize,” she says, while also texting with alleged traffickers on a burner phone.

“I would think I was doing good in the world,” she says. And she desperately wanted to see something tangible from the work—a “win,” she adds. “I felt so conflicted and dirty. I wanted that win so all the dirtiness would go away.”

At this time, Ballard’s reputation as a heroic anti-trafficking expert was at a peak. His rhetoric around trafficking—that it’s the world’s largest criminal enterprise, carried out with impunity due to the negligence and incompetence of the federal government generally and Democrats specifically—had become incredibly popular. QAnon believers took a particular interest, especially after Ballard appeared to support a false conspiracy theory that furniture company Wayfair sold children online by saying that “with or without Wayfair,” the selling of children online was “common.” (Jim Caviezel, who played Ballard in Sound of Freedom, has lent overt support to QAnon beliefs; Ballard, he claimed, taught him that traffickers extract a substance from children’s bodies that “elites” then inject to preserve their own youth. An OUR spokesperson denied at the time that Ballard had explained this to Caviezel.) As this was playing out, the QAnon-tinged Save the Children movement became a driving force in Republican politics, and Ballard himself began to eye a run for the US Senate.

In 2023, Ballard quietly parted ways with OUR following an investigation into claims of sexual misconduct that employees made against him. Lynch, who was not an employee, has a hazy memory of the time but remembers telling friends of an OUR employee that inappropriate things had happened. They, she says, told their friend, who then reported it to human resources. (Her lawyer, Suzette Rasmussen, confirms this sequence of events.)

Borys became Ballard’s executive assistant in early 2023. She was walled off, she says, from other OUR employees. When the investigation began, she knew little about it and was told that its scope was limited to a report made by one woman and would go away. It wasn’t until after she’d quit OUR, and after she’d seen attorney Suzette Rasmussen on TV discussing a suit the pseudonymous women she was representing had filed against Ballard in civil court in Utah, that she really began to process her experiences.

“I was still trying to understand all the stuff I had been going through working for him,” she says. “Once I saw Suzette, I felt like she was my safest place I could go to to protect myself.”

It wasn’t until after she’d gotten out of Ballard’s orbit, blocked his phone number, and filed a lawsuit, Borys says, that she started to understand how traumatized she was. “I was listening to a police officer doing a podcast or on the news, and he said you don’t get to—” here she pauses, and starts to cry. “You don’t get to create a victim by saving victims. And that really hit me.”

The legal process is ongoing; in addition to the suits and criminal investigation, Borys and Lynch have filed for permanent protective orders against Ballard, which currently await the scheduling of evidentiary hearings.

The two are also still very much processing their experiences not just with Ballard but with OUR, which neither now believes was ever a legitimate child-rescue operation.

“Where’s the proof?” asks Borys. “There just isn’t any proof, and when you try to talk to anyone about it who still works there and believes it, it’s like Tim Ballard—red in the face, flustered and frustrated. Instead of answering questions, they fire back at you.”

WIRED provided a detailed list of questions to Chad Kolton, a spokesperson for Tim Ballard. In response, Kolton wrote, in part, “I started responding to each of these and then reconsidered as it seems like a waste of time … There is absolutely nothing new about Tim’s work with Republicans which he’s done openly for years because they actually want to do something about the problem of trafficking rather than denying it exists. The cases against him have begun to fall apart, with one already dismissed and another facing an evidentiary hearing about serious allegations of illegal and unethical conduct by the plaintiff and her attorneys.”

OUR did not respond to a request for comment from WIRED.

“I hope he goes to jail,” Lynch says. “That’s a really honestly hard thing to say, and it’s been hard to understand that might happen. I have to realize it’s not me putting him in jail. It’s not us. It’s him and what he did.”

She also, she says, simply wants the truth to be known.

“Nobody deserves to go through something like this, and someone like him doesn’t deserve to be on a presidential campaign or speaking engagements,” she says. “He doesn’t deserve that right right now.”