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sweetestcaptainhughes · 2 months

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do we say goodbye?

Word Count - 4500

Summary: With the news of John being traded some difficult choices need to be made.

Warnings: dom male/sub fem

Authors Note: I was actually already writing this before that Johnny picture was posted today but then I was like whoo I gotta finish this for y'all. I actually likely proof read most of this and then was just like fuck it, so sorry for grammar and spelling errors as always. So please enjoy, and as always thank you for reading my garage.

Masterlist

It has been exactly 2 weeks since you received the news that John was going to have to move to Utah at the end of the summer because he was traded. Somehow, it feels longer, it feels like it’s been a lifetime of mourning together trying to decide what is the best course of action. Should you drop everything you had in Jersey, your friends, your career, your life to move to Utah with someone you’ve only been dating for eight months? And yet in the same breath, it feels like your entire body is still in shock, as if you just heard the knock on your door that Saturday morning.

Opening the door to see your boyfriend was a pleasant surprise, “Hi Johnny whatcha doing here? I thought you had plans today, decided you missed me?” Your voice was light, airy… happy to see him until you looked up and saw his face, his eyes filled with hurt and pain, like he was struggling to even look at you as he winced at your words. “Johnny baby what’s wrong?” Opening your apartment door further to welcome him in.

“Can we talk lovie.” he asks as he steps into your apartment, immediately taking his shoes off knowing you are serious about a shoeless apartment.

“What’s wrong Johnny? You’re scaring me, did something happen back home?” anxiously asking as you wrap your arms around yourself trying to brace yourself for whatever is about to come.

“No everyone’s okay, just please can we sit down.” As he softly reaches out to grab you trying to pull you towards your living room. As he’s pulling you towards the couch you can’t slow your mind down.

“Are you breaking up with me?” you ask as your voice cracks, John whips his head around so fast, immediately his hands are crowning your face, forcing you to look him in the eyes.

“No. never” even though he whispers his words you know that he’s telling the truth.

“Then what?” asking as you go to hold onto him for comfort as you feel your breath start to catch scared of whatever he’s about to say; but what he does say never in a million years would you expect.

“I got traded, baby…. I mean I knew it was a possibility but I didn’t think, I never thought it would be.” he starts rambling, still holding your face but his eyes staring off into somehow else, as if he’s finally letting his anger be felt.

“Where? Somehow local? Rangers that would be funny, Islanders, Capitals?” you ask, a smile forming on your lips, relief filling your body at that being the news. Your question brings John’s attention back to you.

“Utah.” he mumbles, his eyes not leaving your face as he watches your breath quicken. The shock of how far away that is, let alone that there is literally nothing in fucking Utah.

“No… no, no, you're kidding really where?” a shocked chuckle leaving your lips as you tighten your grip on the sides of John’s t-shirt.

“Baby I’m sorry.” he mumbles and that’s all it takes for you to break, because somehow even though John said that this wouldn’t be the end he knew in a way it was the end. Once the words sank in, you couldn’t help breaking down, John’s arms moving to your waist, as you felt like you were falling, but he caught you. He would always catch you, he was your Johnny, what were you supposed to do without your Johnny. “I got you baby, shhh it’s alright, let it out baby girl.” as he carried you to the coach and let you cry until you exhausted yourself. “I’m so fucking sorry honey.” he coos in your ear as he holds you tighter.He held you that entire day, not even answering his phone as his teammates, family members who didn’t know and the world was blowing up his phone at the news. All he cared about was that you knew that nothing was going to change even if he lived on the other side of the country.

That was two weeks ago to the day, John told you that he loved you and he would do whatever you wanted. He told you that he loved you and that he didn’t wanna lose you. But he understood if you didn’t wanna do long distance because it isn’t what you signed up for. Not when you met him in the bar celebrating with his team all those months ago. The last two weeks along with spending as much time as possible together, you’ve been haunted by the memories of everything you have built over the last eight months. The games you’ve gone to, dealing with the roadies, meeting his family when they played Bruins, and him meeting yours. John and you just made sense together, he wasn’t some dumb guy who happened to play hockey. He was close to a genius IQ, but also funny, and didn’t need to be the center of attention. He loved staying home with you and being a homebody after his busy week at the rink. He was the kindest man you’ve ever dated, always called you when he was away. When you were working late on a project, he would doordash food to your home so he knew you would eat that night. Something about you guys just fit and the idea of him having to move across the country broke you.

At first it was no brainer that you would do long distance, but for how long? Everything you had built in your career was around Manhattan, who were you to leave everything you’ve built. Living in big cities like John was all you ever knew and both of you knew that you wouldn’t be happy in Utah. Although it was unspoken you both knew that you had a clock counting down the minutes to the end, knowing ultimately that you weren’t meant to do long distance. If you were ever meant to be more than you already were, you would have to move to Utah. Would you ever want to leave everything behind for John? Both of you knew the answer was no and that your relationship had a deadline that was fastly approaching. At first when you found out, it felt as if the deadline was just something in the background, John and you were still able to be you. Both being able to go on dinner dates, watch movies and cuddle on the couch, take lazy Sunday naps. Somehow over the last two weeks the tension has come to the front of your mind. It was making it hard to focus when he was holding you at night thinking about how in less than 8 weeks he would be gone and you would be alone. When you were getting ready for work and you accidentally almost tripped over one of his house slippers, at first you were frustrated that you almost fell. But then your mind played a trick on you, it let you think about how it might be the last time you almost trip over his slippers and how you should be grateful.

The thoughts of him leaving you, starting to consume you slowly but then it became too much, on your subway ride to work you would let your mind wander about how sad you will be.

The first time you came to one of his games, you decided to make it a surprise and you were so grateful that you did because the look on his face of pure shock and happiness made your chest so warm, you no longer felt cold in the arena. He was in the middle of warm ups with Luke, when Luke pointed you out standing on the other side of the glass. He skated so fast over to you holding his gloved hand up to you. The arena was already starting to get full since warm-ups were almost over, so you couldn’t hear exactly what Jack and Curtis were saying on the other side but you knew it had something to do with John’s reaction to seeing you, because next thing you knew he’s flipping them the bird.

Lost in your own brain filled with memories you miss your stop on the train. Never in the whole 3 years that you’ve had this job have you ever missed your stop until today. Too busy focusing on thinking about the memories of you and him, suddenly you couldn’t breath thinking about how heartbroken you will be at the end of the summer. It was as if in that moment you knew, you knew that your heart couldn’t wait until the end of the summer to call it off. Knowing now that you had to break up with the love of your life because the idea of having one last perfect summer together broke your heart more than saying goodbye now.

Trying to just make it through your day, without thinking too much about how tonight when John comes over you will be breaking both your hearts. The entire day you couldn’t focus on doing anything, it was like you were in autopilot mode, just going through the motions of your day. It was as if your mind kept going over all the possibilities of how tonight would go down in your mind forever as the night you ended it all. Sadly what were you supposed to do, live long distance for years or have one last good summer together and then break up? Johnny was supposed to spend most of the summer in Boston with family, so to ask him to stay here to have one last summer together felt wrong. At the time, him being in Boston and already starting long distance felt even worse. This had to end, even if it wasn’t fair, even if you loved him more than anyone else, even if you felt like he was your forever. Ultimately, you decided that it’s better to end it now, before it fell apart and became like broken glass at both your feet.

Johnny was already supposed to come over tonight, since he broke the news neither of you have been able to be apart for a night, trying to soak in all the time you can. Deciding you needed to get home as soon as possible you decided to take an lyft to your apartment instead of train all the way back to Jersey. The entire ride back you sitting in the backseat, fidgeting as your nervousness starts to build up at the fact that you have to tell Johnny you can’t do this. The idea of being in a relationship with a deadline was slowly breaking you more than just calling it off now. A part of you hated yourself for what you were about to do. Nonetheless if you don’t break it off, you don’t know how you were going to survive not having Johnny around in the fall if you don’t choose yourself now.

Finally, reaching your apartment building you mumble a quick thank you to the driver and get out. Quickly making it into the safety of your home, deciding you needed to shower and wash off the dirt of the city air. By the time John lets himself into your apartment with his key you’re in the bathroom finishing up some much needed skin care. He walks into your bedroom calling out for you. “In here.” you yell back. He immediately walks into the bathroom and holds you from the back.

“hi baby girl.” he mumbles, a black snapback on his head, and in some basketball shorts and a devils t-shirt.

“Hey.” you mumble out, trying not to focus too hard on the way your body wants to sink into his and let him hold you forever.

“How was your day?” he mumbles as he starts leaving little kisses on your shoulder knowing that you're not done rubbing in all your moisturizer on your face yet.

“I missed my stop on the train, so I was late to work.” finally making eye-contact with him in the mirror.

“What? Honey, you're like a true New Yorker now, you could fall asleep and wake up in time for your stop. What happened?” his voice full of concern as he turned you around in his arms, pinning you to the sink behind you, his legs trapping you from moving. Finally done your skin care, you just look down finding comfort in looking at your hands not wanting to do this yet. Not wanting to have this inevitable conversation but knowing it needs to be done.

“Babygirl, you just did your skincare I know you don’t want me to touch your face” he whispers his hand gently going towards your face as if he was going to force you to look at him. Deciding to give into him before he does, you look up tears threatening to spill.

“It’s just not fair, ya know Johnny, I mean were happy.” The tears that were threatening to spill are now fully coming down your face. Johnny catches each one with his hand before you hide your face in his neck.

He softly starts cooing to calm you down, “shhh baby I know I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.” Holding you tight, lifting you so that you're sitting on the edge of the sink, your legs wrapping around him to push him as close as possible. “It kills me that I’m gonna break your heart at the end of the summer.” he softly admits.

Slowly, you remove your head so that you see Johnny’s face when you let your confession slip out of your mouth “it’s already breaking me.” That’s all it takes for Johnny to close the distance between you both smashing your lips together, the kiss was full of need; need to be close, need for him being traded a nightmare, need for showing your love to each other, need for one last night together. “I’m sorry Johnny I just can’t-” you start to explain but he cuts you off.

“It’s okay baby. I know.” as he reassures you, your tears start to fall out at even a faster rate. He starts cooing at you, holding you so tight it’s hard to breathe but somehow that reassures you more then if he wasn’t. Between each phrase of comfort leaving small kisses all over your face, neck and shoulders showering you with the love he feels for you. “It's okay lovie…. It’s not your fault…I understand…. Don’t cry lovie…” Each sentiment that leaves his mouth somehow calming you more than the last until you stop crying.

“Johnny?” you mumble

“Yes lovie.” The nickname not going unnoticed by your heart, he’s the only one that’s ever called you that and no one else will ever be able to call you that.

“Can w- we have one last night please?” hiding in his neck. He doesn’t answer, instead he picks you up and carries you to your bed softly laying you down and climbing between your legs. This time he’s the one that hides in the safety of your neck, needing to feel him as close as possible you throw his snapback off. Your hand immediately goes to his curls, your other hand stretching up and down his back.

“Hmm lovie” he almost moans out, something about the sounds that leave his mouth turns you on. “Feels good.” he mumbles as he leaves little wet kisses down your neck, giving extra attention to where your neck and shoulder meet.

“Ah Johnny.” gasping at the feeling of him, rolling your hips up trying to get some friction. “please.” you beg, “i- i need-” your having trouble forming words as his mouth hasn’t left your sweet spot on your neck definitely leaving a hickey.

“I know baby me too. I’ve got you.” he mumbles, as his hands go to your hips, softly creasing the skin of your love handles. You're not sure if it’s just the emotions from the entire day building up or just your need but you feel yourself getting more turned on and he’s barely done anything. “Imma take my time okay lovie.” he mumbles as he dips, lifting your t-shirt just enough to relieve your stomach and the bottom of your breasts. “No bra baby.” he mumbles as his head goes to nip at the bottom of them.

“Please… Johnny.” you beg. Your hands go back to his curls as he leaves wet kisses mixed with little bites all over you. “I need to feel you.”

He looks up from you, making eye contact knowing that this angle turns you on even more. “I know and you will lovie.” Slowly removing your t-shirt and bra leaving wet kisses down the valley of your breasts. Coming back up gives extra attention to your nipples, giving kitten lips in between the two. Your hips go back up trying to get relief for yourself.

Your hands both in this hair, your legs locked behind his back. His hand that isn’t playing with your boobs, goes in between and under your sweatpants. His two fingers teasing you above your underwear, teasingly going up and down your core. Stopping where your clit is, leaving small softly pressed circle motions. You can’t help but arch your back to the touch, as he comes up to right below your ear. “Who’d get you this wet baby?” as he lightly kisses right under your ear.

Your hands are going to grip the back of his shirt, your hands fisted in fabric as you lightly moan. “you only you Johnny.” His fingers start putting a little more pressure behind their movements. “Ahhhh please”

“Okay baby” he whispers, as he goes to sit up on his knees. He removes his shirt, his hands then going to the side of your sweats, you lift your hips to help him remove both your sweats and underwear. “Just gotta taste ya first.”

“Johnny” you whine.

“Shhh… gotta taste my girl one last time.” He admits it like it’s a confession as if he’s practicing his ‘sacrament of penance’. As his eyes leave yours as he starts to bend down to you, pushing your legs up to make room for himself. Starting with alternating between your inner thighs leaving little kisses, you're a moaning mess under him.

“Stop being a tease.” you beg. “Please, it's too much.” you look down at him, as he’s looking up at you directly between your legs. John’s not sure if it was you begging or the look of desperation in your eyes but he gave into you. His lips easily form around your clit sucking lightly. His left arm lays over your waist holding you down as you attempt to move due to the pleasure. He can’t help but wiggle his own hips as he hears the noises coming out of your mouth. John was always someone who got off on getting you off. His other hand that wasn’t busy holding you still going under him to tease your hole. His tongue quickly leaves your clit to lap down your folds and then back up.

“I need - I need more” you beg between breaths. But you know John well enough that you knew from the look in his eyes that he gave there was no fucking way you were getting more until you cummed. Throwing your head back you tried to focus on the pleasure you felt just when you were about to cry of frustration. That’s when you felt two of his fingers slip into your hole, slowly pumping in and and out of you, stretching you out. Suddenly a string of curse words left your lips as you were able to finally feel yourself chase that all too familiar high point of an orgasim forming. “Right there don’t stop” your words only encourage John to pump his fingers faster, and suck a little harder on your clit. Suddenly you can feel yourself clutching around John’s fingers knowing you're close. “Johnny I- I’m close. I’m imma cum.” another moan leaving your body as you arch your back as much as John’s arm will let you.

John removes his mouth from you just to speak, “go ahead baby let go for me. Show me how good I make you feel.” Immediately putting his mouth back around your clit and sucking with even more pressure than before. That’s all it takes for you to let go, a slur of curse words and groans leaving your lips as you ride out high. John slowly removes your fingers, letting himself taste you, “hmmm you always taste so fucking sweet. Wanna taste?” Shaking your head yes, he slowly shoves his fingers inside your mouth, quickly closing your eyes enjoying the calmness it brings you. “God your so fucking beautiful sucking my fingers tasting yourself baby.” A small moan humming around your lips at his words. He starts to remove his fingers, a frown forms on your lips.

A soft “no stop” leaving your lips as he removes his hand so that he takes his shorts and boxers off quickly. “Do you need to suck on something babygirl?” he asks cockly, already knowing the answer, already knowing that you always love sucking on anything he’s willing to give you. Shaking your head yes as you try to reach for his hand again. “Well I was gonna be nice and let you suck my cock but if you just want my fingers” he teases as he gives you his hand.

A deep frown forming on your face as you say “no no I’m sorry I.. I want..” you mumble, your cheeks suddenly turn a light shade of red. John takes his hand gripping your chin a little tighter than needed, forcing you to look into his eyes.

“Want what?” he asks

“I want your cock instead.” you confess and before you even process what's happening, John flips you both so you're on top.

“Go ahead baby, suck it until you feel better.” Quickly you bend down, putting the tip in your mouth softly. Closing your eyes immediately at the satisfaction of having him in your lips. Johnny takes one of his hands and makes a makeshift ponytail slowly guiding you to take him deeper.

“Fuck I forgot how good you are at this lovie.” he compliments which is only met with your moans, feeling the vibrations around himself he groans. That’s all it takes for him to take control of you fucking him with your mouth. He lets himself get lost in the pleasure of your mouth for a few minutes before he removes you from his mouth.

Pulling you up by the makeshift ponytail up to his lips, passionately kissing you teeth and all. “As much as I love your mouth, I need to last so I can fuck your brains out and feel your pussy pulsing around my cock.” Pulling you back in for another kiss as he brings you to straddle him.

“Okay” you let out leaning in for another kiss. Pulling away “how do you want me Johnny” giving him the most innocent look you can muster knowing that it drives him crazy.

“On your side” he demands. Laying down on your side, your back facing him. , you stretch out limbs so they are all limp before you feel John lay down behind you. “Im gonna fuck you so hard you can’t even remember your name.” Suddenly you feel him move your knees so that your hole is a little more open. He slowly eases in, he always lets you get used to his thickness before moving.

“Fuck you always feel so good lovie.” As one hand goes to grab your boob and play with your nipple. His mouth leaves wet kisses on your shoulder blade. As soon as he feels you relax, he slowly starts moving. Closing your eyes you focus on the way that he manages to hit your g-spot with every thrust.

“Ahh Johnny.” throwing your head back against him giving him access to your neck, as he lightly nips at it quickening his pace. Both you can’t help the little signs you let out.

“Look at me lovie.” he demands, you turn your next you see him as he speaks his head over your shoulder. “God I love looking at you all fucked out.” All you can do is whine. “We’ve barely started and you're already looking dumbfounded.” As he squeezes the boob he was playing with before leaving it and going to play with your clit.

“Ah fuck” you scream.

“Oh now you speak.” he mumbles as he attempts to grab your lips kissing you as he fucks up into you. Between John playing with your clit and still repeatively hitting your g-spot you know you aren’t gonna last long. It doesn’t surprise you when you feel that coil start to form tightly in the pout of your stomach. Once he pulls away but not before biting your bottom lip between his lips, you tell him.

“Johnny, I'm cum You whine staring at his eyes.

“I know I’m close just wait for me okay. “One hand goes to his face to reach him into another kiss as the other goes to play with your neglected nipples. Feeling it become harder to even hold on, you start to roll your hips backwards trying to meet John’s thrusts. The feeling of you being too much for John “fuck fuck im cumming let go.” With that both of you fall into true bliss as you let your orgasim take over your body both screaming probably loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Once you both calm down from your highs you both just lay there still connected.

John pulls out feeling himself get soft. He pulls you around in his arms. “We’ll go shower in a few, okay, do you wanna use the bathroom first or shower first?” As you're watching John talk you can’t help but softly smile, his eyes only slightly open asking you what you wanna do.

“I should probably go to the bathroom first. But my legs feel like jelly.” you lightly chuckle and you hear Johnny let out a light laugh.

“I’ll carry you in a few minutes.” AS he pulls you closer to him in his arms closing his eyes for a second. “And then we can have round two in the shower.” Lightly smacking his chest and full blown laughing at his joke.

“Hey johnny?” you softly say

“Yeah lovie.” opening his eyes, giving you his attention.

“I really hate Utah.” you admit.

“Me too so fucking bad, you have no idea. But let’s just enjoy tonight okay?” He softly pleads.

“Okay.” sinking into his arms deciding that it was more important to have one last good night with the love of your life before you let him go because sometimes the universe was cruel to kind people.

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