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NEED and hes one of the first to fall asleep. imagine trying to have a full state party and hes crashed out on the couch by 8.

maine is the first state to see the sun in the continental us (dawnland baby!) and i think that should translate into maine being one of those ridiculously early risers who everyone else hates send post

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you know what cast all the stones you want red jacket nj was by far the best nj and thats just the fact of the matter

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I WANT TO HIT HIM WITH ROCKS HES SOOOO PRECIOUS"!!!""!"!!"!

NEW JERSEY!!

This was drawn for one of my friends :3

Enjoy, and I’ll run away now.

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got any MT/WY/TX headcanons? :3

dear lord they suck. dear lord this is the collection of the most bitchy, passive agressive, emotionally unavailable lunatics and they ultimately fail to express any feelings but thats fine

to start off they all have loads in common thats great. obsessed with the cowboy aesthetic. terrible daddy issues. below average people skills. like animals.

however in dealing with it theyve managed to merge into very different personailities that come together in this relationship to create an even more frankenloser. tana is mean to everyone wy hides in dark spaces to get away from people and tx starts arguments for the kick of it.

this makes date night very interesting. the majority of the time its just tx and tana getting into increasingly innuendo-filled arguments in the middle of an empty field whilst wy thinks transforming into a horse and stomping them with his hooves.

if anything its just more evidence of wy being a dramatic loser bc his boyfriends have if anything improved his life greatly. now he has many ranches to go back to after his yearly meeting.

can we make them dadcore guys please. wy and tx with endless books ab the war making breakfast an excessively long affair by getting into a war fact competition in which they recite things they read until tana stops finding it adorable and now wants them bejungled.

more dadcore guys can they just have 80000 diy projects going on at the same time that they refuse any help with. weekly show and tell night where they bring their project and explain how hard it was to make and refuse any hint of help next time.

overcoming wy's social anxiety must be the biggest diy project though how are they supposed to build the rodeo in their backyard huh. how's tana supposed to keep tex happy and prevent wy from vaporizing at the same time huh

tex and tana at the rodeo oh you are sooooo special to me. tex and doing all the stuff he didnt do when he was a kid so he can experience it first w his boyfriends youre soooooo precious

screw you and theyd be insane when it came to austin as well like theyre gonna confuse the shit out of him when they argue about the correct way to herd cows. theyre gonna scare him talking ab the wild wild west days and all the times they'd test out immortality w bullfights. this kid will be soooooo well adjusted though. hell yeah freaky dude be cringe your dad's 6ft of pure muscle and has a whole two other power-tool weilding shit talkers behind him i think you'll be fine.

wild wild west wymontex youre so special. they'd be terrible cowboys dont get me wrong theyd be too distracted by each other and their horses to move the herd but yk the sheninigans were wild.

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#YEAH#gosh they’re both so fucking dense#this is also the only reason they’re the only ship in this entire fandom who I can give kids to#any other kid would be fucked beyond belief but theirs would probably be ok#pb lovers no longer against yippeeometer bc I love these too much to hate u <3

oh no theyre not excempt from ruining a child i dont want anyone to get the impression theyre at all functional. indi would be filling that kid's head with lies and bama would once again, being spineless and in love, refuse to correct him. furthermore we get to see the live results of emotionally repressed v emotionally unstable breeding and i fear that would be terrifying

u said send u ships so I offer IndiBama if u have anything

indi is my beautiful little princess i want nothing more than for him to be happy. however it is not my fault his taste in men is godawful so we'll just have to work with what we have.

i just think neither of them are particularly functional so it would take the combined efforts of the west, south and midwest to force them together and it would still take months.

bama could be on one knee proposing and indi would still be texting illi like 'r u sure he likes me'. indi could be like 'i need u carnally' and bama would still relay it back to tenn and geo like it was just a normal conversation between friends.

they have so many bets on when they'll actually get together and they always go wrong. the Great Easter Crisis of Ohio being when they found indi and bama all curled up together and ohio thought he'd finally won the bet, only for indi to say 'were such best friends' and him to lose his shit.

oh and when they do get together. dear god they become worse. theyre the most insufferable couple youve ever met i mean that.

like misery comes to indi upset about his most recent situationship. indi its just like oh.... have u tried telling him ur sad.... forgetting of course that not everyone has the gift of magical puppy eyes and a weak boyfriend. misery is unable to contain himself

and thats why theyre disgustingly healthy in a world full of lunatics screaming and yelling at each other. indi says whatever he wants and bama just goes w it bc his boyfriend is super cool who's he to bring a king down.

and i think the toxic masculinity u built there will be breaking soon pal. bama thinks hes well adjusted until indi calls him pretty one time and he has to go lie down in a dark room for a while to recover

super insanley healthy behavior it makes me unwell. theres communication and everything. theyre a rare breed in the world of the statehouse considering everyone else is commicating through petty revenge and attacks.

like they suddenly have been married 80 years? and theyre making pie? what the fuck is this

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u said send u ships so I offer IndiBama if u have anything

indi is my beautiful little princess i want nothing more than for him to be happy. however it is not my fault his taste in men is godawful so we'll just have to work with what we have.

i just think neither of them are particularly functional so it would take the combined efforts of the west, south and midwest to force them together and it would still take months.

bama could be on one knee proposing and indi would still be texting illi like 'r u sure he likes me'. indi could be like 'i need u carnally' and bama would still relay it back to tenn and geo like it was just a normal conversation between friends.

they have so many bets on when they'll actually get together and they always go wrong. the Great Easter Crisis of Ohio being when they found indi and bama all curled up together and ohio thought he'd finally won the bet, only for indi to say 'were such best friends' and him to lose his shit.

oh and when they do get together. dear god they become worse. theyre the most insufferable couple youve ever met i mean that.

like misery comes to indi upset about his most recent situationship. indi its just like oh.... have u tried telling him ur sad.... forgetting of course that not everyone has the gift of magical puppy eyes and a weak boyfriend. misery is unable to contain himself

and thats why theyre disgustingly healthy in a world full of lunatics screaming and yelling at each other. indi says whatever he wants and bama just goes w it bc his boyfriend is super cool who's he to bring a king down.

and i think the toxic masculinity u built there will be breaking soon pal. bama thinks hes well adjusted until indi calls him pretty one time and he has to go lie down in a dark room for a while to recover

super insanley healthy behavior it makes me unwell. theres communication and everything. theyre a rare breed in the world of the statehouse considering everyone else is commicating through petty revenge and attacks.

like they suddenly have been married 80 years? and theyre making pie? what the fuck is this

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Hello! Do you have any more Cut headcannons? that ghost of a man has me in a chokehold :)

incapable of being chill like what is this guys fucking problem.

he has such a problem. such a hugggeeeeeee problem. most frequent crashouts of anyone u have ever met because he is an insane perfectionist freak man and someone needs to put him down like with a shotgun.

i just think hes so up his own ass about everything like he does think hes better than u so hes going to lose his mind about everything u do if its not the exact way he does it. ww3 threatened weekly as he argues the best place to dock a ship with rhode.

actually love rhode and cut being ex wives bc nt only do i enjoy the fact they dont achieve happiness, but it would be hilarious for them to just ruin everything from now on bc the divorce may be 100 years old but these insults arent

they get weird and personal about it and everyone is confused. low points include cut bribing mass to put out hexes against rhode to convince him to get a haircut bc he was looking so good cut almost wanted to propose again.

theyre so insane in public as well like rhode will just be like 'you'll never believe what happened to my BITCH WIFE' and itll be like uconn just won a game

i just think hes so boring. and such an asshole. and you just hope that one of those things will cancel the other out and it never does.

like you feel yourself becoming sooooo tired around him. call him colin robinson the energy vampire of the ne. the way he actually gets a kick out of it as well like hes selecting the most mundane stories bc seeing you cry is going to be the peak of his year.

him and mass r the same soz. theyre just the same smart guy that only wants to use intelligence to defeat others in arguments but the only difference is that mass is cool and cut is Not.

the only siblings i accept tbh i just feel like they'd ruin each others lives.

speaking of ruining lives cut is just english major core and that's all i'll say. hilarious to imagine how he still things he's better than ny and nj (art majors and losers)

hes soooooooooo insufferable i cant cope its outstanding this man has no bitches, no friends, is the most boring person youve ever met and yet he still has this fucking high horse bc he read anna karenina for a living amd used to be a pirate.

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#p revoked for peanut butter discrimination

the pps stands for peanut piss. crongratulations youve been eatimg piss. never attempt to befell me with this scoundrelry i have been versed in wizard protection spells

Georgia headcanons? Perhaps? I will give u bones in return

winner of the idgaf war i hate to say it

hes so winning. makes me want to put him with the most desperate clingy bitch (nev) and force them to deal with each other energy. geo rolling around crying thinking ab having stuff to do two days in a row whilst nev threatens death over geo only texting in 8 hour intervals

u couldnt pay that guy to care. like he did stuff in the war and that was cool but now its time for him to just chill out. it literally doesn't matter how many angry emails you send him, he's just going to print them out and use them like newpaper in his baking trays.

hes snug as a bug in a fucking rug dont lie to yourself. mans got so many blankets and pillows in that big old bed of his that i dont even think hed notice if someone was there w him

kay and yes whilst the dad headcanons ab him may be sweet i deeply believe that bc theyre all assholes deep down that he'll struggle to muster the energy necessary to actually do stuff w u...... war flashbacks as he finds himself promising to take these assholes to the rodeo.....

hes fat guys sorry thats just the best character desighn. fat ass as well give him that peach

i personally find him sooooooo funny his smug little face in that joegia video. bc the peak of being unbothered is that u can piss off whoever you want without the fear of retribution

core difference between him and mary is that whilst people dont want to cause mary harm bc hes a soft little flower, people have no desire to cause georgia harm bc he wouldn't be affected by it. flo replaced his toast with cardboard once and the guy just kept eating it

peanut butter fiend guys he produces the most peanuts in the country. dc has to sit him down for a talk after the 11th round of peanut butter chicken bc people are seriously starting to worry, georgia, we think you have a problem

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no one suggested them but theyre the bestest ship and im doing it myself. mass and pa headcanons. mama e papa.

first off theyre just the package deal to end all package deals, but its not sweet or nice theyre incapable of being normal when theyre apart

and when theyre together as well. u could be giving a very heartfelt story ab ur dog dying and theyre going to be smirking at you with the look of two elderly women in their eyes as they twitch with the excitement of gossiping about this later.

like u know theyre at home cozy as shit w this life they built together healing from everything and the only thing they can talk ab is how ridiculous utah's new tie is. hot makeout sessions interrupted bc my beautiful wife just remembered how lame nj's recent attempts at flirtimg were.

and theyre everything and they just fit into every scenario and they'll have the most love hate relationship in every lifetime. theyre the waiter arguing with the chef over who gets to scare away the bitchy customers. theyre artic explorers bickering over who saw the coolest snowflake. theyre highschoolers discovering what divorce is through the stupid take care of an egg project.

mama and papa are soooo good at being parents but only when they're together. like u would not be outside if mama has anytging to do with it. however mama and papa r going to infect you if thats alrighgt. its why maine is 8x more insane than everyone else bc these two combined has made a horrible frankenfreak.

ohhhhh theres this odd soft side to mass bc hes just got a lot of love there. for someone like pa who deliberately does stuff to harm himself. and mass's only way of lovinh people is to protect them. but he cant do that this time oohhhhhhhh my tummy hurts.

oh my tummy hurts guys it would be so bad for them to be by themselves like they have shared a bed since they were sooo young and its so cold being alone.

anyway theyre freaks. someone asks what they like most ab each other and pa answers like 'ya his tits' and they never hear mass's answer bc they cant stop arguing and/or making out.

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AK/ME? I feel their behavior concerns all observing. Freaks, both of them

no one in the history of the universe has ever matched each iothers freak as hard as they match.

they have very different kinds of freak though. maine is trying to be a cryptid. he has embraced the charlie kelly weird guy core. whereas alaska is just like that.

any and all communication between them is crazy. 'hey laska we need to sort out our alibis for when someone experiences the chinese water torture in our cleansing device' (hello alaska the shower in the bathroom is leaking)

and they deserve each other. alaska would 1000% be a geographer or scienest or some kind of man in STEM. theyre awake at 4 am bc as soon as they got into bed maine started asking him human decomposition questions for his latest book and he keeps saying 'ok just one more' and alaska kind of can't say no to him

thats wy the freak is soooooo matched. inexplicably alaska loves his freak husband so hes trapped between a rock (wearing jeans and attempting to break into ne's houses to scare them) and a hard place (mandatory no clothes time)

and thats why they live alone. theyre a danger to the people around them. bc they love causing unecessary cnfusion

like they go out for dinner and they move the table one cm every five minutes. the rush lasts them years. laska has to lie down in the snow for a while to recover from such a feat.

or they invent needlessly complex bits that last years. forgetting no one else gives a fuck. alaska has had a bit where he says 'as the crow flies' on every measurement he gives and it tickles maine to the point of tears.

they understand each other tooo well thats the issue. maine listening to people worry ab the gifts they get their boyfriends w a pocket full of bait and a full salmon in his backpack. maine being escorted from the store because of the mysterious smell coming from his backpack.

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YIPEEOMETER?????????? you come to my hoem,,,,,, my glorious home,,,,,,, and the audacity you have to miss my p,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i warm you the winds of my rage will batter the fragikle walls of your mind.........

Georgia headcanons? Perhaps? I will give u bones in return

winner of the idgaf war i hate to say it

hes so winning. makes me want to put him with the most desperate clingy bitch (nev) and force them to deal with each other energy. geo rolling around crying thinking ab having stuff to do two days in a row whilst nev threatens death over geo only texting in 8 hour intervals

u couldnt pay that guy to care. like he did stuff in the war and that was cool but now its time for him to just chill out. it literally doesn't matter how many angry emails you send him, he's just going to print them out and use them like newpaper in his baking trays.

hes snug as a bug in a fucking rug dont lie to yourself. mans got so many blankets and pillows in that big old bed of his that i dont even think hed notice if someone was there w him

kay and yes whilst the dad headcanons ab him may be sweet i deeply believe that bc theyre all assholes deep down that he'll struggle to muster the energy necessary to actually do stuff w u...... war flashbacks as he finds himself promising to take these assholes to the rodeo.....

hes fat guys sorry thats just the best character desighn. fat ass as well give him that peach

i personally find him sooooooo funny his smug little face in that joegia video. bc the peak of being unbothered is that u can piss off whoever you want without the fear of retribution

core difference between him and mary is that whilst people dont want to cause mary harm bc hes a soft little flower, people have no desire to cause georgia harm bc he wouldn't be affected by it. flo replaced his toast with cardboard once and the guy just kept eating it

peanut butter fiend guys he produces the most peanuts in the country. dc has to sit him down for a talk after the 11th round of peanut butter chicken bc people are seriously starting to worry, georgia, we think you have a problem

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#Don’t listen to them Georgia#it’s perfectly acceptable to eat peanut butter with every meal#I fuckin love peanut butter

dont come into my house iwth this propaganda. not having it. fuming. infuritated. i cant take this. anyone thats a peanut butter fan watch out because i AM lurking and stalking and retribution was the womb into which i was born.

Georgia headcanons? Perhaps? I will give u bones in return

winner of the idgaf war i hate to say it

hes so winning. makes me want to put him with the most desperate clingy bitch (nev) and force them to deal with each other energy. geo rolling around crying thinking ab having stuff to do two days in a row whilst nev threatens death over geo only texting in 8 hour intervals

u couldnt pay that guy to care. like he did stuff in the war and that was cool but now its time for him to just chill out. it literally doesn't matter how many angry emails you send him, he's just going to print them out and use them like newpaper in his baking trays.

hes snug as a bug in a fucking rug dont lie to yourself. mans got so many blankets and pillows in that big old bed of his that i dont even think hed notice if someone was there w him

kay and yes whilst the dad headcanons ab him may be sweet i deeply believe that bc theyre all assholes deep down that he'll struggle to muster the energy necessary to actually do stuff w u...... war flashbacks as he finds himself promising to take these assholes to the rodeo.....

hes fat guys sorry thats just the best character desighn. fat ass as well give him that peach

i personally find him sooooooo funny his smug little face in that joegia video. bc the peak of being unbothered is that u can piss off whoever you want without the fear of retribution

core difference between him and mary is that whilst people dont want to cause mary harm bc hes a soft little flower, people have no desire to cause georgia harm bc he wouldn't be affected by it. flo replaced his toast with cardboard once and the guy just kept eating it

peanut butter fiend guys he produces the most peanuts in the country. dc has to sit him down for a talk after the 11th round of peanut butter chicken bc people are seriously starting to worry, georgia, we think you have a problem

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Georgia headcanons? Perhaps? I will give u bones in return

winner of the idgaf war i hate to say it

hes so winning. makes me want to put him with the most desperate clingy bitch (nev) and force them to deal with each other energy. geo rolling around crying thinking ab having stuff to do two days in a row whilst nev threatens death over geo only texting in 8 hour intervals

u couldnt pay that guy to care. like he did stuff in the war and that was cool but now its time for him to just chill out. it literally doesn't matter how many angry emails you send him, he's just going to print them out and use them like newpaper in his baking trays.

hes snug as a bug in a fucking rug dont lie to yourself. mans got so many blankets and pillows in that big old bed of his that i dont even think hed notice if someone was there w him

kay and yes whilst the dad headcanons ab him may be sweet i deeply believe that bc theyre all assholes deep down that he'll struggle to muster the energy necessary to actually do stuff w u...... war flashbacks as he finds himself promising to take these assholes to the rodeo.....

hes fat guys sorry thats just the best character desighn. fat ass as well give him that peach

i personally find him sooooooo funny his smug little face in that joegia video. bc the peak of being unbothered is that u can piss off whoever you want without the fear of retribution

core difference between him and mary is that whilst people dont want to cause mary harm bc hes a soft little flower, people have no desire to cause georgia harm bc he wouldn't be affected by it. flo replaced his toast with cardboard once and the guy just kept eating it

peanut butter fiend guys he produces the most peanuts in the country. dc has to sit him down for a talk after the 11th round of peanut butter chicken bc people are seriously starting to worry, georgia, we think you have a problem

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I hate to send too many asks.. but I must know. Got anything on Missouri? 👀

first off EMOOOOOOOOO

EMO

soooooooo insufferably midwest emo. the wolf of eternal sunshine within indi is cowering away as the much larger, much more powerful wolf of getting misery to shut the fuck up about modern baseball fights for control.

no he is unable to control himself when it comes to the emo vibe and thats okay. he and ore got into an earth shattering argument about emo purism culture when ore caught him listening to chapel roan and insisted this stped him from being emo. the throught punch miss delivered luckily stoped ore from being annoying.

him being called the mother of the west is hilarious to me bc no matter how hard this man fights he can't escape the urges. catch him obsessing over people using the nice plates until he realizes hes become his mother and has to lie down.

look hes got the most lenient drinking laws in our country man hes wine drunk at 2pm on a monday and doesnt even pretend to be cool w it. him and penn forming their own club hinging on the idea that they dont have a problem whilst simultaneously being the place they go to resolve their childhood problems. insanity.

its literally the PA of the west and thats a genuine nickname.

actually make that a rarepair.

mizoree mizora who gives a fuck hes going to complain about how you say it anyway. hes itching to tell you to eat a dick. hes itching to ruin your day.

dont talk to him about any sports team. hes still reeling from the kansas city scouts moving to colorado and JERSEY of all places. kind of need coco and jer to be besties in the way that they can cause a grown man to crash out in a way unheard of in many a case.

actually i would love him to be a complete music loser. godammit this guy is soooooo agressibe ab being chuck berry's home state. that being said he will never in a million years be able to play guitar. his hands fall off.

im just saying maybe u should get outside more huh. his talents r canoeing and fishing unfortunately hes such a loser that he'll never realize this as hes busy angrily emailing people after his 18th twitter is banned for his cardinals related crashout

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sorry my demons the radio silecne has been unbearable...... ive been battling foe (my own chronic illness) and defending the nation from tragedy (shitposting)....... anyways send in ur favs...... i pwomise i will clear this inbox if it is the last thing i do......

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my liege hand over those mass hcs....... and my life is yours.......

here you go :3 (also I think you’re on the wrong account LMAO)

He smells like coffee and old spice.

he’s some weird cross breed between a frat boy and a complete nerd

Him and Gov are gossip buddies

He understands zero brainrot language/words and it just makes his skeleton want to writhe out of his flesh and run away (same)

A good 1/4 of his face is scarred due to an explosion during the Civil War (right side of his jaw, cheek, and parts of his neck and ear)

Really really strong but sometimes, he forgets that and suddenly Rhode Island is stuck in the wall

he’s afraid of thunderstorms because the thunder reminds him of cannons and gunfire

This man is just a box full of random science facts that come out at the weirdest times

A lot of his scars aren’t from what you’d expect (war, Great Britain, etc…), instead they’re from him doing dumb shit and accepting challenges that he shouldn’t.

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Hmmmm what about nj/ny ship

im actually obsessed bc they both think theyre being so natural and normal and cool ab having crushes on each other but its the most obvious and sickening behavior youve ever seen.

like theyre so incapable of acting regularly around each other. theyre so repressed they just have this now primal urge to stare at each other with the most intensity anyone can do

though in terms of flirting 1000% jersey is better at it. he has no self respect hes very willing to slide into ur dms 'hey baby what that ass do' when hes drunk whilst there are rock sculptures less stiff than york. complete weirdos. jersey on his eleventh 'hey babyyyy' text whilst york is responding like hes never said words before.

and i do think theyre eternally going to be the most insufferable love story you've ever come across. them getting together would require a) one of them to get over themselves and admit theyre crushing and b) emotional reasoning beyond the range of a fucking lemon.

for these reasons im afraid we'll all suffer.

god people must be SICK of them. penn twitching having to sit next to hours of jersey attempting to flirt with ny (he's asking him hypothetical questions) and ny flirting back (he's said more than an one word sentence).

look and i do believe theyre the type to hide their relationship but in insane ways. you walk in on them fighting multiple times and are shocked they r actually dating. turns out theyre just both really really into those fighter video games and are reenacting scenes from them to throw people off the scent

they do deserve each other really like theyre both deeply insecyre individuals so im sure the knowlegde that theyre constantly on their weird little friend enemies's mind fills them with joy.

god they suckkkkkk. they suck. half of what they do all day is quiz each other on deeply niche pop culture. then they take a short break to make out but in a way thats deeply carnal. then back to the pop culture fight.

do i think this relationship is unhinged and that as people, they should work on their emotional issues? yes. however. i also think smashing them together like barbies is adorable and thats why ill always be a yorksey no1.