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where i've been

the yippee account has been more quiet than normal...

im finding it more difficult than ever to focus on wttt content; even as someone who lives in a liberal state, im super scared for the future esp when it comes to my healtchare. the incoming presidency is terrifying.

things arent very good in my home countries either. france is becoming far right. slovakia is a mess and our president is destroying it. my family is very worried.

i hope you all understand why its harder to be funny rn

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IF MY BOY DESNT WIN I SWEAR ILL DELETE MY ACCOUNT !!!!!!

the winner is table regions: midwest haunts's thumbnail!

and sorry to say but table history: burning of the gaspee's thumbnail is out

NEXT

you have 24 hours to decide

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SOOOOOO THEMCORE THIS IS EXACTLY IT

big fan of divorce but even bigger fan of the kind of unstable couple that cycles through breaking up and getting back together forever and ever. they know it’s not healthy they know every reason why it doesn’t work and they always make the same mistakes but no matter what, they always end up back together

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THIS IS THEMCORE

big fan of divorce but even bigger fan of the kind of unstable couple that cycles through breaking up and getting back together forever and ever. they know it’s not healthy they know every reason why it doesn’t work and they always make the same mistakes but no matter what, they always end up back together

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he says regan to make himself sound hardcore, but it was actually fucking coolidge or some shit and hes too embarased to say because no one would know who that was and he wouldnt sound as good

Do you have headcannons for Florida

evil

gay

gay and evil

evil and gay

oh my god hes the worst guy ever. hes the worst guy in the world. every insane batshit thing one man can do hes done

hes eaten shoes. hes banged a president. hes stolen from nasa. hes been arrested for impersonating a lawyer. hes insisted on acting like a cricket for a full month.

and hes so annoying about it he wont stop bringing it up even if you dgaf. it gets to the point that hes openly endarngering human life in front of you just for attwntion

such an attention whore its so undeniable. loui vaguly pays attention to his schemes and hes outside his house with a boombox singing off-key love songs.

wttt florida...... youre so insteresting to me.....

because lke why are you the way you are. its been centuries and youre still acting like a rebellios teenager. do u think this has anything to do with your dad mayhaps

incapable of having relatioships i truly mean that. he only sees three roles you can possibly be in his life and theyre: his dad, a toy to be messed around with, or chemically bonded to his soul forever.

and the people hes soul bonded with are the ones that dgaf. theres nothing hotter to him than someone who outwardly doesnt care. that just adds intrigue.

this man is a menace lets not mince words much longer he should be put down. the south having to come up with ways to distract him like a toddler at the cookout otherwise hes trying to put hot coals in his mouth

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Do you have headcannons for Florida

evil

gay

gay and evil

evil and gay

oh my god hes the worst guy ever. hes the worst guy in the world. every insane batshit thing one man can do hes done

hes eaten shoes. hes banged a president. hes stolen from nasa. hes been arrested for impersonating a lawyer. hes insisted on acting like a cricket for a full month.

and hes so annoying about it he wont stop bringing it up even if you dgaf. it gets to the point that hes openly endarngering human life in front of you just for attwntion

such an attention whore its so undeniable. loui vaguly pays attention to his schemes and hes outside his house with a boombox singing off-key love songs.

wttt florida...... youre so insteresting to me.....

because lke why are you the way you are. its been centuries and youre still acting like a rebellios teenager. do u think this has anything to do with your dad mayhaps

incapable of having relatioships i truly mean that. he only sees three roles you can possibly be in his life and theyre: his dad, a toy to be messed around with, or chemically bonded to his soul forever.

and the people hes soul bonded with are the ones that dgaf. theres nothing hotter to him than someone who outwardly doesnt care. that just adds intrigue.

this man is a menace lets not mince words much longer he should be put down. the south having to come up with ways to distract him like a toddler at the cookout otherwise hes trying to put hot coals in his mouth

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most pathetic state headcannons you have?

the whole west.

seriously though i love it when utah is the most soul crushed dead eyed man possible. he gave up on trying to gentle parent these guys 25 arrests ago. ari chanting 'say fuck' in his ear whilst he stares at the camera dead.

hes soooooo tired of them. 'hey utah im going to do a kickflip off the garage to raise money to legally change my name to wolf' '...okay'

seriously that man raised 6 children and now he has full grown adult immortal personifications to deal with.

secondably the south is full of the biggest daddy issues losers.....

like u know its bad when youre looking to georgia to be your papa and he literally dont gaf.....

its all of them as well. tx, bama and ark go out drinking and come back sobbing thinking ab how all their dads must be so lost at the grocery store bc its been like two hundred years now

and mommy issues. is ginny really that caring or is she just vaguly good at first aid and she called you 'doll' once and now you need her making u soup. huh

the south is sooooo losercore why are you all attached like that. get a job. get a life. get a new mommy.

the midwest is even worse bc were all our mommies but make it awful.

all neurotic all constantly on the verge of panic all refusing any type of help oh wow guys no way your mom didnt teach you that

insane mother hens its not normal. stop making casserole youre terrible at it and i already ate. someone always stood betwixt two dakotas pushing them at the head trying to stop them eating each other.

siblings core..... youre thirty please can you stop..... why are you hitting each other in public shouldnt you be in the nursing home....

dont they just look like they have hate pages dedicatd to each other but also openly sob whenever they get hurt? yeah.

wouldnt wish the ne upon my worst nemisis.

all the truama..... all the bonding.... all the codependency.... and yet youre just assholes.

incapabale of being any way helpful to each other. all of them screaming 'SHUT THE FUCK UP' when ny is overstimulated. all of them only buying WD40 for mass's birthday so he can oil that annoying fucking metal arm. all of them sending random pictures of ice on the sidewalk to dela bc hes so old he can break a hip.

incapable of being normal sorry none of you have ever seen a therapist and its really obviois. like hammy could be having daily ptsd flashbacks and just be like 'hmmmm..... how will this make me better at hiking'

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princesss....... so bored.,,....... pwease send me asks........

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im prouder in this moment than i was at the birth of my child. what a day. what a week. what a year. id like to thank a range of peple; the founding fathers, the boston red sox, my loyal fans, the nation of france and alll the haters. so proud.

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According to my phone you are now the face of tumblr

it is who i am. i made the site. it was all me. rainbow shoelaces all or nothing warm milk the ball pit sky color eating the candy cane fuck you i made all of it walter white coldnt have done it without yee

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alas its not even an insult its just the truth, penn only likes mass for his tits 😔/j

and i support him fully. we should be objectifying more men in this fandom. fuck all that feelings shit i love crazy boyfriends that absolutely want eqach other carnally and the emotion is just an afterthought

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MOOTIE BACK AGAIN W ANOTHER BANGER!!!!!! WIN AFTER WIN!!!!!!!!

Merry Crisis :D May I request a lil snippet of Maine and Mass attempting to help Loui survive the winter? :3

don’t feel forced to btw!! and have a happy holiday!

it accidentally turned into a Mass Lore dump sorry :(

besides that enjoy :3

~~~~~

“You really didn’t bring anything?” Maine opened his closet, squinting at the few clothes of his that stayed at Massachusetts house in contemplation. 

“Forgot it’d be cold” 

“It’s January Loui”

“And at home it’s warm, Cadia” 

Maine went digging through the back of the closet towards the things he didn’t wear often thinking it more likely to find something Louisiana could borrow. There was stomping up the stairs, Massachusetts appeared in the doorway, already in his coat and shoes.

“Are we ready?”

“Loui doesn’t have any warm clothes” Maine beat Louisiana to the punch of informing Mass of his folly, Massachusetts didn’t say anything but gave Loui a scalding glare, clearly very ready to leave. 

“Oh what about this!” Maine held up a bright blue sweater, it looked way too big for him anyway, and truthfully he couldn’t remember where it came from. He might just let Loui keep it. 

“Its colorful” Was all Massachusetts said, deterring the line between neutral statement and insult. 

“Ignore him” Maine went back to digging through the closet to find a shirt to go under the sweater, “Mass doesn’t like fun clothes its the puritan in him” 

Massachusetts had already left the room but was close enough to hear, yelling from down the hall “Say that about me again and you’ll get to find out how much of that god shit was real!” 

Louisiana laughed at the statement, “You interested in meetin’ Saint Pierre?” 

“It's that or I stop teasing him and we both know which I’m picking” that comment elicited more laughter. 

It didn’t last long though, the wind howled outside and Louisiana out of habit pulled the throw blanket he had stolen from the downstairs couch that morning closer around his shoulders; “Mais, would it kill Mass t’turn the heat up?” 

“It might, something possesses him when anyone touches the thermostat” That… Louisiana didn’t laugh at, pretty sure the itch on the back of his neck the night before was the cities messing with the one at home. Maine must’ve caught the silence, “What does the same happen to you?” 

“The ac costs money, can’t have kids messin’ with it all the time” 

He shook his head, “I would never let my babies freeze” 

“You don’t have kids, sha” 

“Laska and I have dogs”

“Different.”

“Is it really?” 

“Yes!” Massachusetts reappeared in the doorway, throwing a pair of pants and a long sleeve t-shirt at Louisiana, “Very different, can you two hurry the fuck up?” 

Maine set the sweater down, “We’re going, Lou you can change in here I’ll go find you a coat” 

“A’right” He started to change, but almost tripped over his pant leg when hearing the conversation right outside the door; 

“My coats won’t fit him!” Maine argued, 

“And mine will?” Mass sounded just as if not more confused, “I’m not that much bigger than you” 

“You are in some areas” He grumbled the last bit as if it was supposed to be internal. 

“The fuck does that mean?” 

“It means Penn doesn’t like you for your personality! Can he just borrow a coat?” 

“Fine!” Massachusetts stomped back down the stairs, Loui was convinced he just liked to make as much noise as possible whenever he could. 

He changed and went downstairs, trying to pull the sweater on while walking down the stairs and earning a string of curses from Mass ending with: “If you fall and break your neck I won’t take you to the ER” 

Maine and Louisiana really loved Mass’ way of showing he cared about them and didn’t want them to get hurt. Louisiana stopped on a step and put the sweater on the rest of the way, holding his arms out to show Mass it was on. The other just huffed and told him to hurry again. 

“Brown jacket with a hood by the back door you can wear that one” Mass called without really paying attention and almost running into Maine whose arms were full. 

“Where are you going?” Maine dropped the pile of gloves, scarves and hats he had collected on the table.

“Outside for a smoke?” Mass said it like Maine was dumb for even asking, 

“I thought we were in a hurry?” 

“I have time to smoke, just like we have time to stop for coffee” He shut the door behind him, Loui momentarily contemplating the consequences of going out after him for the same reason. Maine might kill him considering he had promised him he was going to try and quit. He would just stay inside and find time in a bit. 

Figuring out a hat and scarf were easy, what Maine had realized was going to take twenty years was sifting through Massachusett’s box of gloves to find a single matching pair that would actually fit Loui. There was a surprising number of gloves meant for kids for the fact that all of Mass’s kids were adults. 

“Loui, did Mass get grandkids when I wasn’t looking?” He tossed another pair to the side, that was four now. 

“Nottinghamshire makes ‘em” Loui started helping Maine go through the pile, “Mass was telling me last night after you went to bed she wants to try to have a relationship with him and his kids, but she um…” 

Maine sighed, not looking up from the pile, “Nevermind, Mass already told me.” 

Lincolnshire and Nottinghamshire were Massachusetts parents, in a sense, relationships with their kind were always murky and this one was just a bit more than most. Maine had never met them, Mass didn’t talk to his parents. After centuries of not taking a call from Lincolnshire, from his father, came out of nowhere; he claimed he had no interest in trying to fix their relationship but Nottinghamshire wanted to meet her grandkids. 

Massachusetts had told him if she wanted to meet them so badly she could call herself, and hung up without another word. Weeks passed before another call came, this time before anything else his father quickly explaining that she wasn’t all there anymore, not memory wise, had convinced herself Mass was still a young man with young children. He wasn’t going to beg him to do anything but if he would consider visiting. Maine had been there for that conversation, and if Massachusetts was anything like his father Maine knew there was more than a fair share of pride being set aside just to ask that; Mass’ reaction showed it better than anything. 

Mass had visited alone, but hadn’t taken the cities with yet. Maine had picked him up from the airport when he got home, he didn’t ask how the trip went, Mass didn’t tell him how it went. Well, he supposed, packages had started showing up at Mass’ house just a couple weeks later, things his mother was sure they still couldn’t get in the colonies and so much knitwear, mostly gloves and scarves, almost everything except for a couple things, sized for children. Now that he thought about it… that’s where the sweater Louisiana was wearing had come from. 

The door opened, Louisiana shivering again at the cold air coming in with Mass, “Are you ready?” 

Louisiana finally found two gloves that matched–or were close enough, one was dark blue and one was black but no one paid that much attention– “Just getting my coat on,” 

“Hurry, I wanna stop for coffee” 

“You have an addiction” Maine huffed from his seat at the table pulling his boots on. 

“You don’t want coffee?” it wasn’t a question, it was a threat to not get him any. 

“I said you have an addiction. I didn't say anything about me.” 

Louisiana shook his head following them out, bracing for the cold, it was going to be a fun day dealing with these two in public.

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hey so for the past few days I have remembered how much I love the dakotas. any hcs for them? /nf

(and your month long writing challenge is incredible, by the way- your style is so much fun and I adore how you portray the states!)

oh someone please hit them with rocks...... someone please.....

first off annual challenge where they both have to be awkwardly nice to each other because whoever starts the first argument gets blamed for the rest of the year

'you started it!' 'did not!' 'yes you did, you looked at me weird when i told you happy new year!'

everyone is sick of these losers. how can two identical twins have so many arguemnts on who is more attractive? we'll never know.

eighteen hour fights which just consist of them listing off every celebrity from their home state from the wikipedia page and getting icreasingly upset at whos is better.

theres a little bit of 'hey only i can insult him' but to be honest..... if the insults good enough they wont be that upset.

they get extremely upset if you confuse them, hwoever have had the exact some haircut and dress the same and have been like this for 100 years. insufferable.

dont even think ab trying to be friends with them.... ur either being brought into the 'so.... whos your fav' argument or theyre both increasingly kind and nice in the most bizarre waysto prove theyre better at being your friend.

getting worse and worse daily. nd bursting into to tears trying to convince illi to help him destroy mnt rushmore so sd shuts up

dont they just look like they'd own a 'getting along' shirt. dont they just look like it.

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the rest of the 13 assumed the new englanders were so obnoxious bc they were puritan but with a couple hundred years in retrospect they realize those two things had nothing to do w/each other. honestly giving the puritanism too much credit.

definately and the period it gets the most 'wait..... you guys arent really puritan at all are you' is like around the 1920s when they all got really into the mafia and just started opening acting illegally. pretty hard for you to justify the guy weilding a gun talking ab his drug adventures to just being really into puritanism

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more rhodecut hyperspecific au............ theyre rotating in my head........okay so were already clear theyre marrying and divorcing over and over so

terrible. the worst. they ahve all the same hobbies and are basically attached at the hip and will make it your problem.

but theyre so bad at being chill.... hey look at my hot wife shes sailing with me..... why is she telling me im tying knots wrong. im going to tie for thousand knots to annoy her.

everything is somehow romantic when youre delusional. cut looking at rhode w big heart eyes thinking the reason rhode is attacking everyone at this bar is to defend him. rhode is just thinking ab how much he likes punching stuff.

rhode thinking cut reading all his sea writings is romantic. cut is there w a pen correcting all his spelling mistakes asking what idiot he married

being weirdly nice to each other. very weirdly. it becomes even stranger after the first few divorces bc one minute rhode is insisting you tell him every time cut says something stupid the next hes threatening to drown you for talking shit ab his wife.

and you know what theres a reason theyll never stop and thats because somehw, someway theyve grown really fond of each other. also, they find each other so unbelievably hot that it kind of becomes irresistable

'cut- cut look at my new tattoo. yes i have to takw my shirt off. no it doesnt matter that its already clear on my arm look'

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grrrrr i love rhodecut i need more of these divorced wenches i need fics i need fics except im the fic writer and im slw as hell AGGGGGGG

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#this is canon#im the page in Florida's diary that contains a heart with the initials 'FL + CA + NY'

if theres one thing flo's little shipper heart loves its a man that csn't stand him. out here dreaming of cooking gov into a stew after being yelled at for the 8 millionth time. out here covering himself in rats after york calls him stupid. out here dreaming of becoming a real moose after alaska ignores him. hate that guy

if i had to pick a favorite yorkcali nichecanon it would be that despite having an open relationship, york refuses to let flo hit that. its not because hes jealous, he just thinks cali could do better and it drives flo so insane he's staying up practicing the best ways to seduce them (all of which involve wild animals and jello)