#there is not enough text on earth. somebody write more

[unopenablebox]

restless and bored :/

[silusvesuius]

deux

this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑

[talesfrommedinastation]

My redneck neighbor Doug watches 'The Bad Batch': The Outpost

As per many people's requests, I've collected a series of texts and Facebook messages from Doug when he watched certain episodes of everyone's favorite Copy Paste Boi show.

Some he was quite pithy on ('Ryan-from-Accounting goes fast but not fast enough to get away from the Bitch Wife Laura'), and others...well, he got excitable, to put it mildly.

Here's one of the more deranged ones, Season 2, Episode 12, 'The Outpost'. Or as Doug calls it: "The Daddy Warcrimes Christmas Special."

CW for Language like you wouldn't believe. Doug says "you'll need a permission slip from your momma to read this, I guess."

-----

Daddy Warcrimes is waiting by the Empire's equivalent of a windowless van, because comfort is just not his thing and he really wants the experience of smuggling cocaine across the border one of these days.

Some bitch who looks like she works at a bank is telling these clones that their extended warranty is up. I wanna bring her a bag of pennies and make her count it before I deposit it because I'm sick like that.

So here comes in SOME BLOND JACKASS. Mother of Hell do I hate this guy. Can I just tell you how much I hate him? I hate him like I hate the Crimson Tide, like I hate February, like I hate my mother-in-law. Hate hate hate. 

So Daddy Warcrimes, SOME BLOND JACKASS, and some homies get into Floating Probable Cause to lay waste to an unsuspecting Third World country or whatever.

Well, I was wrong! Looks like Elsa and her frozen fingers took over this dump. Disney owns both, so why not. The cold never bothered them anyway. Nope, they’re at somebody’s nasty old storage shed. Why does this remind me of visiting my sister in Wyoming?

Oh, who is this no-frills, salt-of-the-earth, son-of-a-bitch? Is that tanned Kurt Russell? No? It’s Sassy Park Ranger! I like him already. If he was my boss I’d actually show up to work on time and sober, or late and hung over, either way, it’d be a good time with the man. He just seems cool and chill and a nice dude. I bet he’s got homemade beef jerky in his locker and his beard always smells like cigar smoke. 

OH SHUT UP STUPID BLOND JACKASS, Jesus Christ I’ve never wanted to hit someone with a folding chair so hard in my life. CALL HIM COMMANDER.

Aw, Sassy Park Ranger’s being nice to Daddy Warcrimes, maybe Daddy Warcrimes will share the Columbian nose candy in the back of the van with Sassy Park Ranger, and Sassy Park Ranger won’t ask about the sobbing family Daddy Warcrimes is probably holding for ransom in the back. It’s all about understanding each other. 

This is truly the Daddy Warcrimes Christmas special, snow and friendship and stuff. I hope this doesn’t end up with Daddy Warcrimes 86’ing Rudolph and the rest of the reindeer from the sky, that would traumatize the children. But this is the same studio that produced Bambi so who knows. Didn't he try killing a kid the first episode?

Oh man, Sassy Park Ranger’s lost a lot of his men, that’s real sad. Only two left, Jesus. SHUT UP BLOND JACKASS SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.

(I won’t repeat it, but the amount of times that SHUT UP was texted was….something else- Dr. MM)

Sassy Park Ranger’s taking Daddy Warcrimes on a hike around the place in the middle of a blizzard, probably going to say hi to the yeti hooker they all frequent and show him how to write his name in the snow with pee. He’s such a good guy. If they go sledding I’d be so happy.

Oh, shit! Daddy Warcrimes remembers that he has a job and proceeds to cop some poor bastard in the leg so he can follow the trail of blood in the snow. What in the Fargo am I watching here, does Steve Buschemi show up at one point now. No sledding in this one, I guess.

Well there goes Sassy Park Ranger and Daddy Warcrimes on a heartwarming romp following a crippled burglar in the snow as he bleeds to death. Kevin McCallister would be so proud. Well, now, they found a dead body already. You know, at this point, if Daddy Warcrimes capped Santa in the head this show wouldn’t be less wholesome. 

Aw shit Daddy Warcrimes stepped on a landmine, but Sassy Park Ranger watched his training videos that HR made them sit through and disarms it. They’re having a nice convo, I really, really like Sassy Park Ranger. If he dies I’ll be so freaking mad. 

(I said nothing, FYI - Dr. MM)

Aw shit, they found the bunker of crazy white people with guns in the snow. It’s confirmed: the Daddy Warcrimes Christmas Special takes place in Wyoming. Are Daddy Warcrimes and Sassy Park Ranger facing off my brother-in-law and his branch of the VFW near Laramie? Those guys need hobbies besides doomsday prepping and getting drunk in the snow. It ain’t right. 

“After all we sacrificed”…man. I feel right here. Is this the child friendly version of Enemy at the Gate? Shit. Please these two bastards need to survive. I need a beer and I wanna hug my wife.  

Dr. Meat Muffin, please don't tell me you're letting your babies watch this show. They need that dog from Australia who has fun with her daddy, not this.

Oh shit, avalanche! 

Oh no, Sassy Park Ranger. Oh no, oh no. Oh, Daddy Warcrimes.

Thank Christ they made it! They’re gonna save him! They’re gonna save him.

Wait. What. 

WHAT THE FUCK, BLOND ASSHOLE. 

I HATE THIS JACKASS SO GODDAMNED MUCH, SOLDIER OF THE EMPIRE, I WANNER SHOVE MY SOLDIER UP YOUR EMPIRE YOU STUPID DICK. 

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

Yay! Daddy Warcrimes finally took out his gun and 86’d that FUCK. CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY!! YAAAAAAY!!!!!

Man...I hope this ends okay for Daddy Warcrimes. I hope his brothers aren't just dicking around somewhere warm while he and the other bros are out dying.

Guess that'll be next episode?"

....Doug snapped SO HARD watching 'Pabu'. Brace yourselves.

[toomuchracket]

feeling emo rn. how do you think reader would tell d word matty she’s pregnant? i feel like he would be sobbing and thanking her

i see it as being like, during a busy time for the boys, or at least for matty. maybe he's co-writing and producing for somebody at that point, so he's at the studio a fair bit while you're also at work. and you've been feeling a bit under the weather for a min, you've missed a period (although working for that shitshow of a label, that's happened like twice before due to stress so you don't worry about it), but it's only when you physically have to run to throw up a couple of times in one day at work that you're like "oh. ok. this... might be something" - when your colleagues convince you to go home after you fib and say you think you've got food poisoning or a horrendous pressure headache or something, you sneakily buy a couple of pregnancy tests in the boots near oxford circus before you head home. you text matty to tell him that you're not feeling great and you've left work early but you're ok, it's just in case he called dh looking for you, correctly figuring he won't see the text right away; it's not until you're home staring at the tests that he phones you to fret over you, promising he'll be home within an hour and a half max.

in reality, you're in the bathroom 45 minutes later trying not to fucking freak out about the fact that both the tests you did have double lines when the door opens (as much as you want a kid, it's still a Big Deal and Scary to think about) and matty shouts "babe? you alright?" - you're like "matty get in here right now" and then add an "i'm ok. but please come to the bathroom" when you hear him swear and start to scramble through the house. the tests are still lying on the side of the sink when he bursts into the bathroom, but matty doesn't even see them because he's immediately over at you holding your face in his hands and cuddling you like "are you sure you're alright, sweetheart?"; you bask in his affection for a second, nodding and smiling like "i'm actually really good - or, we're really good, i should say". and matty's like "hmm? my darling what are you on about", and you kiss his nose and point to the sink like "look". bless him, he's absolutely baffled when he first turns around, and then his eyes widen in recognition and jaw drops in shock when he registers what he's looking at - matty turns to you, welling up a bit, like "i'm not dreaming, am i?", and your heart just aches and you're like "no, this is real, angel". and he reaches to grab one of the tests to look closer, to which you're like "EW DON'T TOUCH THAT I PISSED ON IT" and he's like "IT'S FINE PISS IS STERILE I WANT TO LOOK CLOSER", and then you're like "IT'S ACTUALLY NOT STERILE SCIENCE HAS DISPROVEN THAT" and matty's like "WHY ON EARTH ARE WE ARGUING ABOUT PISS AT A TIME LIKE THIS. YOU'RE LITERALLY HAVING MY BABY" and then he immediately starts crying with realisation like "oh my GOD you're having my baby. i'm going to be a dad. we're going to be parents" lol. and you're also getting teary like "yeah, we are. three healys", and matty chucks the test down and just grabs you into the biggest hug of all time, picking you up and spinning you around as best he can in the bathroom, before grabbing your face and giving you a deep, deep kiss. and he's like "i love you so, so much. i'm so glad you're the person starting a family with me, and so grateful. thank you, my darling, this is the best gift i've ever been given. i love you i love you i love you i love you. i can't say it enough to accurately convey how much, to be honest. i can't wait to do this with you" - you're fully sobbing at this point like "i love you i'm so excited you're going to be the best dad" and then there's more kissing and you being like "i like that i can call you daddy now and it'll actually mean something", and matty laughs like "true, babe" and then he's like "WAIT oh my god. you're in your milf era. god we're going to be such hot parents". and you're like "you're an idiot i can't believe i'm having a baby with you lol. but i love you!", and matty's like "i love you too, sweetheart. and thank you again, this is the best day of my life - well, tied with the day you married me, i think". yeah, it's so cute <3

[blazehedgehog]

Have any favorite retranslation hacks?

This will get me in trouble, but I don't think I've ever played a good retranslation hack. Never ever.

Translation patches for games that don't have translations I'm less picky about because they are the only option. Like there's a translation hack for Dragon Ball Z Hyper Dimension on SNES. Is all the dialog super stiff and stilted? Yeah, at least in the one I played! Does it matter? No! Because at least it's in English now.

But, like, I've looked at retranslation hacks for different RPGs and stuff and it's always the most nitpicky people on earth trying to right some wrong because they think the translated text veers too far from the original meaning.

And I'll straight up say it, but the retranslation is almost always worse. Because even if the official translation isn't accurate, it often (not always, but often) flows better. It reads better. It sounds more natural. Decisions were made as to why it was translated (or more specifically, localized) like that and accuracy to the original text was probably priority #2 under "make it sound like native English." Balancing readability with accuracy is extremely difficult and to some degree I think people who get picky enough to produce retranslations are setting things back.

Because now we're starting to get producers at big game developers who are starting to claim that ChatGPT and AI text engines can automatically localize games into English without the need for translators or localizers.

You want accurate translations? You're going to start getting things that are accurate to a fault. You are going to get the flattest, least interesting, least energetic translations on earth because a robot is not a human and, especially for a context-heavy language like Japanese, is not going to understand anything beyond the most literal interpretation of the text.

Good localization is an art. Translating meaning instead of raw text takes creative writing skills beyond the binary of "this means that." Frankly, I'm in awe at good localizations. Translations that are too raw shake me out of the experience really hard because I get obsessed with whether or not something sounds natural. When I don't have to think about it like that, it's akin to magic.

It'd be a huge undertaking, but I've often fantasized about being called in as a "fixer" for particularly bland localizations. Like, getting to punch up a script, make it read better, so on and so forth. I'm not, like, the juiciest or best writer on earth, but I think I could do okay. I've often thought about things just within my periphery I could "clean up" somebody else's translation, but that's often a tricky, prickly thing to consider. I'd need express permission before I could release any of it.

[hischierdevils]

Prompt List

Here’s a prompt list you can request from, Please include the full prompt (ex: 1. “Come over here and make me.”) when requesting along with the player you want me to write for. You can find what players I write for here. 

“Come over here and make me.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

“I almost lost you.”

“Wanna bet?”

“Don’t you ever do that again!”

“Kiss me.”

“It could be worse.”

“Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…”

“You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.

“Just once.”

“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

“If you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to a bed.”

“You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

“Wanna dance?”

“You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

“You did all of this for me?”

“I swear it was an accident.”

“YOU DID WHAT?!”

“If you die, I’m gonna kill you.”

“I fucking hate you”

“He’s dead, again.”

“It’s hard to get used to...” “what is?” “Being someone that someone cares for...”

“The first time you smiled it felt like the universe aligned.”

“It hurts...” “what?” “Loving someone who doesn’t love you...”

“Let me do this, please.”

you’re not as funny as you think you are

i’m just getting comfy

just because you can doesn’t mean you should

how don’t you know the difference between your left and right?

thank you for being in my life

text me when you’re home

you are such a nerd

why are you so cold?

stop laughing at me

you were put on this earth to give me a headache

you’re ticklish

can we go home yet?

you are a terrible influence

one of us is clearly smarter than the other

you need some sleep

how have you survived this long by yourself?

are you just quoting song lyrics?

i’m only here for the dog

sleep is for the weak

that was you?

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"What? I have never-"

"I do not have an answer for you."

"In my defense, I really wanted to."

"At least I didn't break any laws."

"What did you do this time?"

"How do we get out?"

"I don't hate you."

"Don't call me that."

“Just marry me already.”

“Did I stutter?”

“Did I just say that out loud?”

“H-How long have you been standing there?”

“I’ve never felt this way before and I’m terrified to be honest.”

“Is that what you call an apology?”

“Is there anything you want to tell me?”

“Somebody’s in love!”

“Can I hold your hand?”

“There is no way this much stupid can fit inside one person.”

“I’m never leaving...I promise.”

“Uh, am I interrupting?”

“I like you, like like you like you.”

“Be my Valentine?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“God, I love you.”

“You’re so fucking cute.”

“Stop being a fucking prick.”

“Do you want me to stay?”

“You’re my everything.”

“I love seeing you smile.”

“i’ve been thinking about you all day.”

“ i can’t get enough of you.”

“i like being close to you. you’re warm.”

“i’m not wearing any underwear. thought you’d like to know.”

“is this okay?”

“this is a one time thing.”

“you know where to find me.”

“you’re really good at that.”

“here’s my hotel room number.”

"don't be shy now, sit on my face."

“Wanna join?”

“Stop doing that”

“YOU SENT ME PICTURES OF YOU NAKED WHILE I WAS IN A WORK MEETING!”

"If I ask you to kiss me in front of all these people, will you do it?"

"Don't go on that date." "Why?" "You know why." "Say it."

“ i think i might be in some kind of love with you.”

“say you want me, and i’m yours.”

“you need a place to stay for the night”

“i want to taste you”

“i love it when you talk dirty

“if you interrupt me one more time— so help me god”

“if we weren’t in public right now i’d have my head between your legs”

“i don’t know what to do” “then let me teach you”

“i forgot my towel”

“this feels dirty” “that's because it is”

“don’t cover you’re face, i want to see you”

“are you sure about this?”

“ive never wanted to fuck someone as badly as i want to fuck you rn”

“do you want help with that?”

“im going to fuck you until you forget that assholes name”

“bend over the desk love”

“is that my shirt?”

“my mother adores you.”

“is that a drawing of me?”

“i didn’t mean to say that but yeah, i love you.”

“i’ve never seen anyone look so cute and ridiculous at the same time.”

“stop looking at me like that!”

“i didn’t know you could sing.”

“you weren’t supposed to hear that!”

“you wrote me a song?”

“i’m not scared but if you are, you can hold my hand.”

“this isn’t adrenaline, i want to spend my life with you.”

“do you think of me when you touch yourself?”

“Take my jacket, it’s cold”

“My friends get annoyed by how much I talk about you sometimes”

“I’m not going anywhere”

“fuck you.” - “when?”

“no one’s ever made me feel like this.”

“here, let me help you.”

“we’re quite literally fugitives of the state.” - “so no pizza?”

“you’re insane.” - “people keep telling me that.”

“you’re pretty.” - “you’re drunk.”

“i told you i’d come home to you.”

“i’ll keep you safe.”

“i’ll spend a thousand lifetimes coming back to you.”

“i didn’t think it was possible to love someone this much.”

“please never stop smiling.”

“Touch yourself for me.”

“Shut up and take your pants off.”

“Wanna see what I’m wearing underneath all this?”

“Do you know how beautiful you are? It’s truly distracting.”

“How are you this perfect?”

“I’ve waited so long for this.”

“Would you just shut up and kiss me already?”

“Tell me what you want.”

“Could he make you feel as good as i do?”

“Are you trying to turn me on or are you really just that oblivious?”

“Just let me finish this/this level and I swear ill go down on you until you cum at least three times.”

“I haven’t even touched you and you’re already this wet.”

“Were you just masturbating?” “U-uh..no, I was just..” “Want some help?”

“Tell me again.”

“I really want to kiss you right now.” “Then do it.”

“I don’t care what you do just fuck me.”

“Stop distracting me.”

[renticat]

Midnight Scrambling

Turns out 5 mins is more than enough because I've been keep repeating myself for this 5 years.

I am not weak, I just love you that much. I long for your companion, but not all the time because you know it yourself too much is gonna hurt us that much but when I don't have you at all I am also dying. This is the worst state of can't live with or without you.

But one day I can, if I stop myself from remembering the good memories and your sweet smile. Actually cause there's nothing left to feel and I am just so lonely.

I am afraid that there's no future of me because I kinda think that's true. I mean what is the point to keep getting hurt trying to know somebody when they don't even want to know me that way? I feel so stupid.

I wish they have yellow tulips instead red because if it's tulip I love it in yellow. And roses I like it in peach color not red, even when I love red i mean I take then but I love particular color for different kind of flowers. Too much red would bore me also. I love all colors. And red poppy is the best so is pink dahlia. Chrysanthemum that I love in many colors but mostly I like it in white, but then that's symbols for death in japan, white chrysanthemum, coincidence? Yeah I guess deep down I long to be gone. Oh don't forget my japanese blood lol lol. No more illegitimate child and mixed people unles it's my great greatt greaatt greattt grandparents. So yeah it's nonsense. I mean I am not like I was in teenager so brainwashed thinking some race are just better because it's not.

There is the colonized mentality here you know, thinking everything that comes from outside is better. But then why you love to use english that much? Well it's for the convenience as unfortunately the British back then did almost colonized all this entire earth and then their language is like vital to everywhere. And also because now here, the imported religion gosh back then there are so many faiths and yeah thanks to all missionaries who just slaughter all the culture (you know I am saying this sarcastically) now if you don't one verse the universe won't let you have some peace of mind.

I should copy the text first because tumblr always managed to lost all my notes (esp if I put q video on it so yeah).

But I am too tortured to write all this as I really just want to lay down on your lap for the last time.

[therapardalis]

writinginstardust​:

150 Random Writing Prompts

There’s some fluff, some smut, some angst, and some funny prompts all mashed up from a bunch of prompt lists I’ve found. Absolutely none of these prompts came from me, I just threw a bunch of ones I liked together.

[Cut for length and some not SFW.]

“Come over here and make me.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

“I almost lost you.”

“Wanna bet?”

“Don’t you ever do that again!”

“Kiss me.”

“It could be worse.”

“Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…”

“You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”

“Just once.”

“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

“If you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to a bed.”

“You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

“Wanna dance?”

“You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

“You did all of this for me?”

“I swear it was an accident.”

“YOU DID WHAT?!”

“If you die, I’m gonna kill you.”

“I fucking hate you”

“He’s dead, again.”

“It’s hard to get used to…” “what is?” “Being someone that someone cares for…”

“The first time you smiled it felt like the universe aligned.”

“It hurts…” “what?” “Loving someone who doesn’t love you…”

“Let me do this, please.”

you’re not as funny as you think you are

i’m just getting comfy

just because you can doesn’t mean you should

how don’t you know the difference between your left and right?

thank you for being in my life

text me when you’re home

you are such a nerd

why are you so cold?

stop laughing at me

you were put on this earth to give me a headache

you’re ticklish

can we go home yet?

you are a terrible influence

one of us is clearly smarter than the other

you need some sleep

how have you survived this long by yourself?

are you just quoting song lyrics?

i’m only here for the dog

sleep is for the weak

that was you?

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“What? I have never-”

“I do not have an answer for you.”

“In my defense, I really wanted to.”

“At least I didn’t break any laws.”

“What did you do this time?”

“How do we get out?”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Just marry me already.”

“Did I stutter?”

“Did I just say that out loud?”

“H-How long have you been standing there?”

“I’ve never felt this way before and I’m terrified to be honest.”

“Is that what you call an apology?”

“Is there anything you want to tell me?”

“Somebody’s in love!”

“Can I hold your hand?”

“There is no way this much stupid can fit inside one person.”

“I’m never leaving…I promise.”

“Uh, am I interrupting?”

“I like you, like like you like you.”

“Be my Valentine?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“God, I love you.”

“You’re so fucking cute.”

“Stop being a fucking prick.”

“Do you want me to stay?”

“You’re my everything.”

“I love seeing you smile.”

“i’ve been thinking about you all day.”

“ i can’t get enough of you.”

“i like being close to you. you’re warm.”

“i’m not wearing any underwear. thought you’d like to know.”

“is this okay?”

“this is a one time thing.”

“you know where to find me.”

“you’re really good at that.”

“here’s my hotel room number.”

“don’t be shy now, sit on my face.”

“Wanna join?”

“Stop doing that”

“YOU SENT ME PICTURES OF YOU NAKED WHILE I WAS IN A WORK MEETING!”

“If I ask you to kiss me in front of all these people, will you do it?”

“Don’t go on that date.” “Why?” “You know why.” “Say it.”

“ i think i might be in some kind of love with you.”

“say you want me, and i’m yours.”

“you need a place to stay for the night”

“i want to taste you”

“i love it when you talk dirty

“if you interrupt me one more time— so help me god”

“if we weren’t in public right now i’d have my head between your legs”

“i don’t know what to do” “then let me teach you”

“i forgot my towel”

“this feels dirty” “that’s because it is”

“don’t cover you’re face, i want to see you”

“are you sure about this?”

“ive never wanted to fuck someone as badly as i want to fuck you rn”

“do you want help with that?”

“im going to fuck you until you forget that assholes name”

“bend over the desk love”

“is that my shirt?”

“my mother adores you.”

“is that a drawing of me?”

“i didn’t mean to say that but yeah, i love you.”

“i’ve never seen anyone look so cute and ridiculous at the same time.”

“stop looking at me like that!”

“i didn’t know you could sing.”

“you weren’t supposed to hear that!”

“you wrote me a song?”

“i’m not scared but if you are, you can hold my hand.”

“this isn’t adrenaline, i want to spend my life with you.”

“do you think of me when you touch yourself?”

“Take my jacket, it’s cold”

“My friends get annoyed by how much I talk about you sometimes”

“I’m not going anywhere”

“fuck you.” - “when?”

“no one’s ever made me feel like this.”

“here, let me help you.”

“we’re quite literally fugitives of the state.” - “so no pizza?”

“you’re insane.” - “people keep telling me that.”

“you’re pretty.” - “you’re drunk.”

“i told you i’d come home to you.”

“i’ll keep you safe.”

“i’ll spend a thousand lifetimes coming back to you.”

“i didn’t think it was possible to love someone this much.”

“please never stop smiling.”

“Touch yourself for me.”

“Shut up and take your pants off.”

“Wanna see what I’m wearing underneath all this?”

“Do you know how beautiful you are? It’s truly distracting.”

“How are you this perfect?”

“I’ve waited so long for this.”

“Would you just shut up and kiss me already?”

“Tell me what you want.”

“Could he make you feel as good as i do?”

“Are you trying to turn me on or are you really just that oblivious?”

“Just let me finish this/this level and I swear ill go down on you until you cum at least three times.”

“I haven’t even touched you and you’re already this wet.”

“Were you just masturbating?” “U-uh..no, I was just..” “Want some help?”

“Tell me again.”

“I really want to kiss you right now.” “Then do it.”

“I don’t care what you do just fuck me.”

“Stop distracting me.”

[dreamescapeswriting]

Unrequited Love ~ HHJ [Request]

WORD COUNT: 3.9K

PAIRING: Hyunjin x GN!Reader (If there are any mistakes please tell me so I can change them 🥰♥)

Terms: Mx - Used as a replacement for Mr/Mrs/Sir/Ma’am

GENRE: AU, Hanahkai AU, friends to lovers, angst, fluffy, pining, 

A/N: You guys know how much I love AU’s so I had so much fun with this!! 

Hanahkai Disease: This is a fictional disease where the victim coughs up flower petals when they’re in one-sided love. It ends when the love returns (Can’t be a strong friendship, only romantic feelings) or the victim will die. The disease can be surgically removed but the feelings for the crush will be gone.

Unrequited love. Something that had been written about in all forms for almost 5500 years. There were always the stories of the person finally getting the one they truly wanted. Beating the Unrequited love and overcoming everything to be with the one you loved. This would be fine and dandy if you had a normal crush on someone and weren't like Hyunjin.

Hyunjin had something different about him, something that he'd never heard about until he'd been online researching for hours. Hanahkai Disease. Besides all of the troll accounts talking about how the disease wasn't "real" there were so many other articles and medical documents to back it up. The one thing that stuck out to Hyunjin the most about it all was that it could kill him. From anywhere from 2-3 weeks or 18 months. Being told you had anywhere between 2-3 weeks and 18 months to live was never anything good.

All of this because he had a stupid crush on somebody. His lungs were filled with roses that would gradually get bigger until they rendered his breathing useless. All he could do whenever he thought about his crush or even spoke to her for too long was cough up flowers into his hands or if he could make it, a bathroom.

"What's on your mind? You've got that weird look in your eyes." Your voice broke Hyunjin out of his daydream and he turned to look at you. Blushing a little as he realises he was spacing out in the middle of your study date. 

The two of you were sitting in the back of the college library trying to cram for an upcoming test but his mind was elsewhere. What was the point in studying when he knew he was going to die? There was no way Sooyoung was going to like him back. 

Waving your hand in front of his face again he looked at you nervously. There was clearly something bothering him and it wasn't the study material. Hyunjin could take this test four times over in his sleep if he really wanted to.

"I want to tell you something but you have to promise me that you won't laugh." Putting your pen down on the table you looked at him. 

Whatever it was, was clearly serious. Hyunjin had never been so serious about something before and you'd known him almost your whole life. 

The pair of you had been best friends since you moved to his neighbourhood when you were six. Growing up together, going to the same schools until you both attended the same college.

"What is it?" You questioned softly as he looked at you. The idea of telling you about the disease toying in his head. The fact that he had been dealing with this alone for the last three months was beginning to bother him and he knew he could tell you anything.

There wasn't a single thing in the world that you would ever judge him for. You were the one person he knew he could count on for anything and the same was for you with him.

"Have you heard of Hanahkai disesase?" The name rang a bell and you began to think about it.

"I think-"

"The rare disease that some people get when they're in one-sided love?" You nodded at him. You'd heard about it a lot. Super rare, hardly heard of really. Doctors had done all of the research that they could on it. It could be surgically removed but it all risked permanent damage to the lungs and it would cost forgetting the person you were in love with altogether,

"I have it," The world seemed to stop spinning as you stared at your best friend. Laughing a little you shook your head, there was no way he had it. 

"What do you mean you have it?" You questioned a little harshly as you stared at him. All thoughts of studying going out of your head as you stared at your best friend.

"I mean, I have it. What else could that mean?" He snapped a little angrily at you, you leant back against the chair shaking your head. Letting it sink in that he had this disease as well as was in love with someone and hadn't told you about it. 

The two of you told each other everything.

Or so you thought. Why hadn’t he told you he was in love with someone? Or that he suffered from this in the first place? When did the two of you begin to keep secrets from one another?

"You can't...I mean who do you have a crush on?" Racking your brain you tried to think of someone Hyunjin had mentioned even briefly but there was nothing. Nothing and no one that you could think of that he would have a crush on.

"Sooyoung," 

"Sooyoung?" You looked behind him down a couple of tables to see her sitting there. 

Sitting at one of the rounded tables as she did nothing but brush her hair and look pretty. There was no denying that she was gorgeous but you never thought Hyunjin would go for someone like her.

Someone so perfect.

Jet black hair perfectly straight, wearing designer clothes and always had boys surrounded her. Waiting on her hands and knees as if she was some kind of queen. The whole college seemed to fall in love with her. 

"Sooyoung?" You questioned again, a little more unimpressed this time. Hyunjin could already tell you hated the fact that it was Sooyoung of all people and so did he. It wasn't as if he wanted to feel this way about her.

"I'm telling you because I want your help," Help? What did he want you to do? Go up and tell her that if she didn't love him back your best friend was going to die?

"What am I meant to do?" You questioned leaning forward a little to see what his plan was for all of this.

"You're good at this, tell me what girls like." You blinked at him

"What on earth makes you think I'm good at this? I know what girls like but Sooyoung isn't like every other girl...She's a different breed." The woman had exquisite taste and clearly liked things differently from those around her.

"Will you help me at least get her attention," Smirking at him you nodded. Getting her attention was going to be easy enough.

"Sure." Picking up the rubber from the table you launched it across the room hitting one of the boys in the head before it dropped down in front of Sooyoung. 

Gasping a little she looked down at it and then around the room to figure out who had thrown it but you'd already turned to Hyunjin.

"Fetch." You mumbled to him watching as he glared at you. 

Oh if looks could kill. 

"Sorry, my friend is stressed." He whispered as he bent down in front of Sooyoung. Their eyes locking as she giggled at him, reaching down to touch his long dark-brown hair. It was always the hair that people fell in love with first. Smirking a little you were glad you had french-braided one side and put it into a ponytail.  

"Cute," She whispered as she twirled a strand of his hair around her delicate fingers. Instantly Hyunjin felt his throat beginning to clog up with petals so he smiled before calmly walking to the door. Frowning as you watched him you waited to see what he was doing. Before you could even get up he was racing down the corridors to find the nearest bathroom.

"Sorry, he's a little shy...Here," You scrambled to write down his number on a random post-it and gave it to Sooyoung. Her eyes were wide as she looked from you to the door, 

"Shy? Around me?" You nodded gently ignoring the weird looks you were gaining from the boys around her. 

"I'll text him," She whispered as she began punching the numbers into her phone.

Hurrying after Hyunjin you stood outside the bathroom looking at him as you held your bag and his. The colour had drained from his face as he stood there. Hair messy and petals were strewn about all over the place.

"Here," You reached up to take a petal out of his hair and smiled sadly at him. The last thing you ever wanted was for Hyunjin to be in pain. You knew how badly this thing could be. 

"I'll help you...She has your number," You nudged him softly and he began to blush a little as he looked at you. He was thankful he had you to help him through all of this.

"Thank you," He breathed out bringing you into a tight hug as you whined that he was hurting you. 

"We can go to my dorm, I'll do your hair and we can begin planning how to get the girl to love you back." You promised him as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder beginning to walk with you towards the exit of the campus.

"First things first you're going to have to talk to her without...Coughing up flowers in front of her..." Turning to look at him from the other side of your dorm room you raised an eyebrow. You didn't know the ins and outs of how it all worked so you were going to need his help with it all.

"Is there a way you can control it?" He shrugged his shoulders as he sat on the floor against your bed. There wasn't much he knew about it either. He'd never tried to control it, all he knew was when he was around her his lungs filled with rose petals until he coughed them up. Even when he thought about her too hard it could sometimes bring some flowers up.

"I'm not sure," He whispered playing with the teddy he'd gotten you for your birthday while you began writing down on a large whiteboard on your wall. 

Learn to control coughing up. You were going to treat this as though it was some kind of study material. Have all of the facts laid out in front of you before you tried to find a solution to it.

"We need to learn what her favourite flowers are, what snacks she likes, then you're going to slowly woo her." Hyunjin stared up at you with a raised eyebrow. Not believing for one second that he had just heard you use the term "woo her".

"Woo her? What are we? 91?" He mumbled sarcastically only for a chocolate button to be thrown against his head. Your aim was impeccable. 

"Did you or did you not want my help?" You questioned as you stared over at him. Hand resting on your hip as you tilted your head to the side.

"Yes, Mx!" He fake saluted watching as you began to write her name, getting ready to list things she did and didn't like underneath it. Hyunjin thought back on all of the times he'd seen her getting gifts from people. Remembering the way she reacted to each of them.

"She likes sunflowers and roses together, I've seen her get them from one of the jocks before a game." He looked up at you.

"Sunflowers and roses," You mumbled as you wrote them on the board in green ink.

"We can get some from the store tomorrow morning." You told him as you turned to look at him. The thought of losing your best friend to something like this was eating you up inside but you were going to be strong for him. 

The look on his face made you feel bad about teasing him earlier in the day. All he wanted to do was get help and you had been a little mean about it.

"I promise I'll do everything I can Hyunjin." You said sweetly as you walked over to the bed, sitting behind him on the bed as he sat on the floor. You ran your fingers through his hair and began to braid it. Something he found extremely relaxing whenever he was stressing too much over something.

"I don't deserve you Y/n." He hummed as you began to french-braid the sides once again before joining them together in a ponytail at the back of his head. Just as it had been that morning when he came to get it done.

"I don't know how I can repay you," He added on as he looked at your whiteboard of information. If anyone came in now it would look as though you were stalking Sooyoung but of course that wasn't what you were doing.

"With food, comics and helping me cram for tests." You told him as you smirked, patting the top of his head as you got up from the bed.

"I'll go and order some pizza...We can talk pick-up lines and dates while we eat." He nodded watching as you left the room leaving him to overthink everything. Groaning when he felt the pressure of the petals begin to build as his thoughts went to Sooyoung.

As time began to progress the only thing that seemed to be happening was Hyunjin was getting worse. It seemed as though no matter what happened with Sooyoung nothing was going to happen. The flower petals began to grow in size and he felt sick almost all of the time.

"Maybe she'll never love me back," He said to you as you sat in a small cafe together. Sharing a plate of chips as you spoke about his date with Sooyoung that he had just gotten back from. He'd taken her ice skating since it was one of her favourite things to do but nothing else happened. They held hands around the ice skating rink and that was all.  

"It can take time," You reminded him, waving a chip in front of his mouth until he took it from you. 

"It's been three months...I have six months to make her fall in love with me." The never-ending ticking time bomb.

"Do-able." You were trying to remain as positive about all of this as possible. You never wanted to lose your best friend. 

"She has too many guys after her. There's no way I can do this Y/n." He put his head down onto the table and you reached around to run your fingers through his hair. Tears beginning to build up in your eyes at the thought of him giving up on this so easily. It wasn't like Hyunjin to just give up on anything.

"Give it a chance Hyunjin...Please." It came out as a beg but you didn't care. There was no way you were going to let your best friend give up on this and accept that some kind of disease was going to kill him. The plea didn't go unnoticed as he looked up at you, eyes bloodshot as he was on the verge of tears. 

He'd been researching the surgery without telling you. Deciding that it was probably easier for him to go through that than try and force somebody into loving him. It was dangerous and irreversible.

"One more month," He mumbled sitting up and back against the booth seat. Laying his head against the wall and looking at you.

"Want to practice date talk?" You questioned. He nodded at you and you smiled before going back into your dating impersonation. The two of you had been doing this whenever you went out to eat or ate at the dorm so that he could get used to it. 

"Come and sit next to me, whenever we eat together she sits beside me." You nodding sliding out of your side of the booth and into his. His arm wrapped around your waist and you seemed to freeze. A weird tightness began to grow in your chest and stomach but you ignored it. Turning to him and feeding him a chip while looking at him. Hyunjin leant down and bit into the chip slowly. It was the first thing he'd eaten all day and he was thankful you were with him to eat with. 

"Talk to me as if I was Sooyoung," You grumbled at him as you looked down at the plate. Suddenly losing all sense of appetite the longer you stared at it. 

One month came and went as though it was on fast-forward. You barely remembered anything that Hyunjin had planned for his time with Sooyoung. All you knew was that he was giving up. Telling you that all of this had been a waste of time for him.

"Hyunjin you can't do this," Your voice heightened as you looked at him. Reaching your hands out to touch him as he began packing up clothes into his bag. The moment he told you that he was going through with the surgery you panicked. There were so many horror stories surrounding the procedure.

"I've already booked it," He mumbled at you, moving away from your grasp to collect more clothes from his wardrobe. 

The two of you were in his dorm room that night when he decided to drop the bomb on you that he was going to have the surgery. 

"It's experimental! Something could go wrong," You whimpered as you stood in front of his wardrobe. Blocking him from getting inside. There was no way you were going to let him go through with something so idiotic that could kill him or leave him with no memories.

"It's worth it to not feel like this! To not die!" He yelled at you as you moved out of the way. Watching him as he began to shove clothes into a bag instead of folding them. There was no way you were going to be able to change his mind but you were going to try. 

"So you're just going to leave? What about exams?" You questioned as you tried not to bring the focus on why you needed him to stay around.

"I don't see a reason for staying, I'll get the surgery and be back in time for exams." He grumbled not looking at you as he reached into the back of his wardrobe for shoes.

"Hyunjin you have five months-" 

"She's in love with someone else! She's dating someone else so there is no help for me. Don't you get that!?" He yelled as he cut you off. Turning to face you, he was red in the fact of anger and his eyes were tearing up. 

Pushing past you he walked towards his bed, putting his bag down as he began to pack his study material up. If he was going to be stuck in a hospital he might as well make the time useful. 

"You think that you're the only person in the world that has that disease?!" You yelled back at him. Not meaning to snap and sound as angry as you did but you had enough.

"I'm not going to sit around and wait for the flowers to kill me." He grumbled keeping his back to you. 

"I'm not saying that! I'm saying give it time...M-maybe you'll fall in love with someone else." You were grasping at straws and he knew that as well as you did.

"You sound pathetic. There is no one else Y/n. There will never be someone else." He said in hushed tones as he flicked through some of his notebooks. Debating to take them with him or not. 

"Never?"

"No. Never," He mumbled at you.

"But I love you," Your chest swelled and you could feel yourself beginning to sweat as you finally told him. 

The months you had been helping him with Sooyoung you had begun to fall more and more in love with him. The fake dates you would have didn't help as you only fell harder for someone you knew would never like you back.

"Yeah but friendship love isn't enough to cure it!" He yelled slamming his book down onto his desk. Taking in deep breathes as he tried to calm himself down. He knew you were trying to help but nothing you had done was working. 

"You asked for my help-"

"Now I'm telling you to back off." He came across so cold you felt as though ice began to run down your back. Your chest burnt as you put off the cough that was itching to come out. Holding your hand over your mouth you let out a tiny cough. Wincing as you felt the petals fall down into your hands. Three white-budding roses sitting in your hand, large enough that you knew you didn't have much time left. Hyunjin didn't even notice you coughing as he rushed to put everything away into a bag.

"Call me when you've decided to get over this." You mumbled as you left his room. Dropping the petals into the bin by his front door before you left.

As Hyunjin was about to leave the dorms he went to through away his rubbish when he saw the flowers. They weren't his since his seemed to be a little more than two petals at the moment. These looked as though they were just beginning to grow larger. None of the boys was home which only meant that they could have been yours,. 

"Y/n." He breathed out as he looked at his phone. Hitting your name to call you but there was no answer. It just rang and rang. 

You stared at the phone while it lit up. There was no use talking to him when he was going to go through with the surgery no matter what.

"Call me when you get this, I need to talk to you." The message rang out as you deleted it. Walking to the kitchen to get something to eat but nothing seemed good to you. Everything you thought about eating made your stomach churn. Nothing had seemed appealing to you for months.

After a few days of staying in your dorm and ignoring Hyunjin, you began to feel the need for fresh air. There was no use in hauling yourself up inside of the dorms all day. You had no idea how much time you had left so you needed to do something with it.

Swinging the door open you almost screamed seeing Hyunjin standing. His hand raised as if he was about to knock on the door right before you answered it. 

"Did you get the surgery?" You questioned harshly as he stared at you. His eyes fixed on your face as he said nothing in response to you.

"Hyunjin?" Instead of responding he grabbed you close to him and kissed you roughly. The breath felt as though it was knocked right out of your chest as you collided with him. Your hands pushing into his long hair as he pushed you into the apartment. Holding you close to him as he ran his fingers up and down your back. Needing to feel every inch of you as close to him as possible. Tears rolled down your cheeks until you both could taste them. 

"H-Hyunjin." You breathed out as you both pulled away only to rest your foreheads on one another. Neither of you wanted to be apart for any longer than you had to be.

"I love you," He breathed out as he held your hand in his, squeezing them softly. 

"I love you too," You hiccuped through the tears, sniffling as little as he pulled you into his chest. Resting his chin on your head as you both stood there together.

 Another month passed both of you scared that the flowers would begin to come up again but they hadn't. Not once had you coughed up a petal, bud or a whole flower. Your appetite had come back and Hyunjin was feeling better than he ever had. The two of you had beaten the Unrequited love and overcoming everything to be with one another. 

Tagline: @minholuvs @taestannie @sw33tnight @acciocriativity @mwitsmejk @taeechwitaa​ @justbangtanthingz​ @stillwithlix​

[giorno-plays-piano]

Vicious

Part IV

Pairing: Steve x reader, Bucky x reader, Thor x reader, Loki x reader, Peter x reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, possessiveness, theft, all characters are adults.

Words: 1880.

Summary: Transferring to Stark Academy that has only allowed to take in female students last semester, you realize you are just one of three young women among hundreds of students. Your things are constantly being stolen, and soon you begin fearing for your safety.

Part I

Part II

Part III

_________

After you came back to your room, you got a message from Steve about changing the locks on both you door and your locker. You were so taken aback by today's conversation in the student council room that you had completely forgotten about it. Apparently, Steve had already requested the change of locks on your behalf through email, and you were really grateful to him for that: you dreaded coming back to the room that had been forced open. Of course, tonight you would have to move your dresser to the door so that nobody could enter when you'd be sleeping.

Shit. It was absolutely crazy.

"I'm not sure about all this, Steve." You texted him while laying on your bed and staring at your phone in the darkness of the room. "It doesn't seem right."

Naturally, you meant the fake dating thing. It felt horrible thinking of what others would think after seeing you with five different guys. Would they be calling you a whore in the open? Make some nasty jokes behind your back? Report you to the school administration for immoral behavior? Remembering those bigots from the student office, you cringed at the thought.

Besides, it still didn't make sense to you why you had to date all five. Sure, if they were around you at all times like your friends, these unhinged bastards who stole your things wouldn't do anything funny again, but it wasn't like that. What could one guy do against a group of other students?

"Listen, I didn't want to talk about it in class, but I'm worried it won't end with a stolen lingerie."

You didn't like his message.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. They might attempt something much worse than a theft."

Oh no. Was he talking about rape? Seriously? Did he anticipate others were so crazy they would do something like that?

But then again, girls were being raped in colleges even if it weren't the all-boys schools. A shiver ran down your spine.

"But if several people attack me, just one of you won't be enough." You typed with your shaky fingers, trembling beneath your blanket.

"It's not about the pure force. Each of us has a certain reputation, and others wouldn't want to cross us over because of it."

Wait, this was interesting. What on Earth did he mean? What kind of reputation was that to prevent people from messing with them?

"Thor is a good athlete and a great leader, his basketball team is ready to beat people to death for him."

"Loki's father is one of academy’s main sponsors, and he can have this school turned upside down if he wants to."

"Bucky is a threat by himself, but he also have a company of loyal friends."

"I don't think Peter is serious enough to scare anyone, but with his computer skills he could easily blackmail others, I’ve already seen him doing it. Students would be wary to cross him over just like any of us."

Steve was writing you a bunch of messages with a terrifying speed, and you could barely read the first when he was already sending you the second. It felt absolutely insane. Did he choose every guy because the more powerful admirers you have, the less others would intervene? Well, at least in case of Bucky and Thor who could beat people to near death, it was wise. You preferred not to think of Peter - you had no idea someone as sweet and caring as him did something as disgusting as a blackmail.

“But what others will think? 5 boyfriends? Others will think you are dating-” you paused, chewing your lips to bit, “- a whore. Nobody gonna stood up for me.”

"Imagine if each of us tells our friends that other four guys were just asked to watch over you, but you date only one.”

Oh. Yes, this was slightly better. Then you wouldn’t have to do something as bold as kissing every guy in public, instead maintaining the mystery who you were really dating. 

Damn, how Steve even came up with this plan? Why was everything so complicated?

“It’s getting late. Good night.” Your phone vibrated again, and you huffed with irritation. You hoped you could ask him a bit more - about what you were going to do with the thieves Steve found, for example - but he was probably getting tired with all your questions. It was better to ask him tomorrow.

___________________

The next morning you were restless: since you were starting to going out with guys, you felt like you needed to look better than you usually were, so you spent your morning working on your hair and makeup. It was like fake dating, right? You had to pretend you wanted to look pretty for them.

What else did you have to do? Cook something sweet for them? Yeah, probably, but not at the start of your relationship. Going to cafe together? Helping each other study? Loki also mentioned the cinema...

You felt dumb. Of course, you dated guys before, but now you realized you had no idea how to act not to cause any suspicion. Oh boy, it was going to be a tough day.

Thor nocked at you door thirty minutes before your first session, but you woke up so early you were more than ready to go. As you opened the door, first moving the dresser back to its place, the guy looked at you with a puzzled expression on his face.

"Hey, what was that?"

"The dresser. I can't leave the door just like that until the lock is changed."

He blinked at you, watching the door and then probably remembering somebody forced the lock open to steal your underwear.

"These guys are batshit crazy." He mumbled and nodded you to go with him, putting his hand on your shoulder. "Don't worry, they won't do it again."

You wanted to argue they definitely would, but, seeing his warm smile, you thought Thor simply wanted to cheer you up and smiled at him in return. In the end, he was here only to make you feel safer: you didn't doubt he was very popular with the girls every time he went out to the city.

"You look great today!" He said sheepishly, walking in the dorm's corridor while other students were staring at him silently, obviously surprised to see you two together. "I mean, not that you looked bad yesterday, I just..."

Watching his face suddenly getting crimson red, you couldn't help but giggle at his expression. You could never think Thor was actually bashful around girls. Yeah, at your old place he'd definitely be one of the most popular guys around.

It was lunch time when you two could actually talk, sitting together at the same table and being watched by everyone around. Strangely, with Thor constantly talking and often rubbing your hand with his, it didn't feel suffocating, and you held your head high: regardless whether those pricks were looking at you, you weren't going to run away to your room and cry there like a little girl. Loki was right: you weren't a silly little sheep, scared of your own shadow. You wouldn't let anyone spoil your time in the academy you dreamt studying in.

Funny enough, Thor turned out to be a talkative type when he was speaking about basketball and his team in particular. He loved sports: while you were more into hockey, the way he talked was so enthusiastic it made you listen to him with a genuine interest. Thor's love for basketball was infectious.

He seemed a simple man, this giant bag of muscles who was laughing so loud people around him flinched; Thor wasn't the exact type of a guy you would encounter on your own, but he seemed nice, sincere, and surprisingly softhearted. You felt at ease talking to him, and soon you too acted like you'd known each other for long.

It was a pity you'd only met under this circumstances. It felt like you two could became friends.

But then when Thor absent-mindedly put his arm around your shoulders, you remembered Loki's warning: they would try to gain your favors. Was it the reason Thor was so nice to someone he just met? Wasn't it suspicious of him? You couldn't let your guard down after just one lunch together. In fact, you knew nothing of the man sitting in front of you.

"I knew something like would happen." Some guy to your left sighed loudly, catching your attention. "They were fucking crazy."

"I'm not surprised either. I just wanna know who they got in a fight with to be beaten like that. Have you heard they broke Gray's both legs?"

"Woah, both? That's brutal, man."

You shivered, trying not to listen to them.

"It'd happen sooner or later anyway. They were completely wild."

A word caught your attention right away: that was what Steve called those students who were stealing your things. Could it be a coincidence? Surely, in an all-boys school the students were fighting each other constantly.

But to the point of breaking both legs of someone? Really?

As you sent Thor a nervous look, he gently patted your shoulder, lowering his voice so no one would hear him, "I'm sure it's nothing to do with you. These things happen here from time to time because the guys have no idea what to do with all that testosterone."

You hoped he was right.

The rest of the day went as usual aside from Thor walking the corridors with you and chatting about sports: he managed to convince you to come see the game next month when they would be having a tournament. You were grateful to him for helping to ease your mind because the news of guys being sent to the ambulance made you shook. Steve also mentioned something about his and other's friends ready to beat anyone to death, right?

By the middle of your last class you couldn't think of it any longer and quickly typed a message to Loki. Of all people, right now he seemed the most sincere to you.

"Hi. Are the guys who were beaten last night are the ones who stole my things?"

Waiting was a special torture when you held the phone in your arms beneath your desk, hoping to see your screen lighting up with a message. In five minutes you got your reply.

"Yes." The message said simply, but it was enough for you to stare at your phone with horror, wishing you didn't ask Loki anything.

Oh shit. It wasn't a coincidence, right? It's impossible. Somebody did it on purpose. But who of the five?

"Do you know who did it?"

Next time he answered pretty fast, "No."

A part of you felt relieved. Maybe it wasn't related, finally. Maybe they got beaten by somebody who was fed up with their attitude because they were crazy as the guys in the cafeteria said.

But what if it weren't true?

"Who's the most brutal among you five?"

Biting your lips, you started rocking in your chair a little, making the guy on your left to roll his eyes in irritation.

The phone's screen flashed again.

"Barnes."

Part V

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Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki   ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin ​@inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherub @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @soleil-dor @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @ximebebx @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sourpatchspinster @biiskuitx @iheartsebandchris @lovelydarkdaydream @illyrianprincess @vampirestrawberries @stupendouslovegardener @goodgodimaweirdperson @frontmanash @freya-heya @yandematic

[chaosandsuns]

Prompt / request time!

Below there is a list of prompts you can request!

I figured id cobble it together from a few prompt lists, the majority of this is from @writinginstardust 's 150 random writing prompts.

Please include a pairing, the requested prompts (numbers or the prompt itself) and a basic idea for what you want!

I will write nsfw, romantic and platonic unless specified otherwise (yelena is platonic only). Please include what youd like the reader's gender to be! (Enby and nonconforming works! I just wanna know what nicknames/ pronouns youd like :D )

I will not write any minor x adult or noncon.

I will write xreader! (And any pairing between the given characters. You can add your own prompt if youd like!)

Possible characters:

Layla El-Faouly

Marc Spector

Steven Grant

Jake Lockley

Blue Jones

Jonathan Levy

Matt Murdock

Foggy Nelson

Karen Page

Kate Bishop

Yelena belova (no nsfw/ platonic only. We respect aroace peeps in this house)

Prompt list below the cut!

"Come over here and make me.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

“I almost lost you.”

“Wanna bet?”

“Don’t you ever do that again!”

“Kiss me.”

“It could be worse.”

“Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…”

“You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”

“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

“If you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to a bed.”

“Wanna dance?”

“You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

“You did all of this for me?”

“I swear it was an accident.”

“YOU DID WHAT?!”

“If you die, I’m gonna kill you.”

“I fucking hate you”

“The first time you smiled it felt like the universe aligned.”

“It hurts…” “what?” “Loving someone who doesn’t love you…”

“Let me do this, please.”

"you’re not as funny as you think you are"

"i’m just getting comfy"

"just because you can doesn’t mean you should"

"text me when you’re home"

"you are such a nerd"

"stop laughing at me!"

"you were put on this earth to give me a headache."

"you’re ticklish?!"

"you are a terrible influence"

"one of us is clearly smarter than the other"

"you need some sleep"

"how have you survived this long by yourself?"

"sleep is for the weak"

"that was you?"

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“What? I have never-”

“I do not have an answer for you.”

“In my defense, I really wanted to.”

“At least *I* didn’t break any laws.”

“What did you do this time?”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Just marry me already."

“Did I stutter?”

“Did I just say that out loud?”

“H-How long have you been standing there?”

“I’ve never felt this way before and I’m terrified, to be honest.”

“Is there anything you want to tell me?”

“Somebody’s in love!”

“Can I hold your hand?”

“There is no way this much stupid can fit inside one person.”

“I’m never leaving…I promise.”

“Uh, am I interrupting?”

“I like you, like like you like you."

“Can I kiss you?”

“God, I love you.”

“You’re so fucking cute.”

“Stop being a fucking prick.”

“Do you want me to stay?”

“You’re my everything.”

“I love seeing you smile.”

“I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

“I can’t get enough of you.”

“i like being close to you. you’re warm.”

“i’m not wearing any underwear. thought you’d like to know.”

“is this okay?”

“this is a one time thing.”

“you know where to find me.”

“you’re really good at that.”

“don’t be shy now, sit on my face.”

“Wanna join?”

“Stop doing that”

“YOU SENT ME PICTURES OF YOU NAKED WHILE I WAS IN A WORK MEETING!”

“If I ask you to kiss me in front of all these people, will you do it?”

“Don’t go on that date.” “Why?” “You know why.” “Say it.”

“ i think i might be in some kind of love with you.”

“say you want me, and i’m yours.”

“you need a place to stay for the night”

“i want to taste you”

“i love it when you talk dirty

“if you interrupt me one more time— so help me god”

“if we weren’t in public right now i’d have my head between your legs”

“i don’t know what to do” “then let me teach you”

“i forgot my towel”

“don’t cover your face, i want to see you”

“are you sure about this?”

“ive never wanted to fuck someone as badly as i want to fuck you rn”

“do you want help with that?”

“im going to fuck you until you forget that assholes name”

“bend over the desk love”

“is that my shirt?”

“my mother adores you.”

“is that a drawing of me?”

“i didn’t mean to say that but yeah, i love you.”

“i’ve never seen anyone look so cute and ridiculous at the same time.”

“stop looking at me like that!”

“i didn’t know you could sing.”

“you weren’t supposed to hear that!”

“you wrote me a song?”

“i’m not scared but if you are, you can hold my hand.”

“this isn’t adrenaline, i want to spend my life with you.”

“do you think of me when you touch yourself?”

“Take my jacket, it’s cold”

“My friends get annoyed by how much I talk about you sometimes”

“I’m not going anywhere”

“fuck you.” - “when?”

“no one’s ever made me feel like this.”

“here, let me help you.”

“we’re quite literally fugitives of the state.” - “so no pizza?”

"you’re insane.” - “people keep telling me that.”

“you’re pretty.” - “you’re drunk.”

“i told you i’d come home to you.”

“i’ll keep you safe.”

“i’ll spend a thousand lifetimes coming back to you.”

“i didn’t think it was possible to love someone this much.”

“please never stop smiling.”

“Touch yourself for me.”

“Shut up and take your pants off.”

“Wanna see what I’m wearing underneath all this?”

“Do you know how beautiful you are? It’s truly distracting.”

“How are you this perfect?”

“I’ve waited so long for this.”

“Would you just shut up and kiss me already?”

“Tell me what you want.”

“Could he make you feel as good as i do?”

“Are you trying to turn me on or are you really just that oblivious?”

“Just let me finish this/this level and I swear ill go down on you until you cum at least three times.”

“I haven’t even touched you and you’re already this wet.”

“Were you just masturbating?” “U-uh..no, I was just..” “Want some help?”

“Tell me again.”

“I really want to kiss you right now.” “Then do it.”

“I don’t care what you do just fuck me.”

“Stop distracting me.”

"theres only one bed."

"Ill bandage you up"

"Who did this to you?"

"I didnt know where else to go"

"can you be my date to the wedding?"

"you're my best friend. Ive always loved you."

"shut up." "Make me."

"I would NEVER fall for you"

"then why did you do it?" "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU"

[supercitycarnival]

Prompt Time!

Send me a prompt for one of these pairings:

Cat x Kara Chrisjen x Bobbie Seven x Raffi and I’ll attempt Keyla/Joann 

150 Random Writing Prompts

“Come over here and make me.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

“I almost lost you.”

“Wanna bet?”

“Don’t you ever do that again!”

“Kiss me.”

“It could be worse.”

“Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…”

“You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”

“Just once.”

“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

“If you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to a bed.”

“You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

“Wanna dance?”

“You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

“You did all of this for me?”

“I swear it was an accident.”

“YOU DID WHAT?!”

“If you die, I’m gonna kill you.”

“I fucking hate you”

“He’s dead, again.”

“It’s hard to get used to...” “what is?” “Being someone that someone cares for...”

“The first time you smiled it felt like the universe aligned.”

“It hurts...” “what?” “Loving someone who doesn’t love you...”

“Let me do this, please.”

you’re not as funny as you think you are

i’m just getting comfy

just because you can doesn’t mean you should

how don’t you know the difference between your left and right?

thank you for being in my life

text me when you’re home

you are such a nerd

why are you so cold?

stop laughing at me

you were put on this earth to give me a headache

you’re ticklish

can we go home yet?

you are a terrible influence

one of us is clearly smarter than the other

you need some sleep

how have you survived this long by yourself?

are you just quoting song lyrics?

i’m only here for the dog

sleep is for the weak

that was you?

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"What? I have never-"

"I do not have an answer for you."

"In my defense, I really wanted to."

"At least I didn't break any laws."

"What did you do this time?"

"How do we get out?"

"I don't hate you."

"Don't call me that."

“Just marry me already.”

“Did I stutter?”

“Did I just say that out loud?”

“H-How long have you been standing there?”

“I’ve never felt this way before and I’m terrified to be honest.”

“Is that what you call an apology?”

“Is there anything you want to tell me?”

“Somebody’s in love!”

“Can I hold your hand?”

“There is no way this much stupid can fit inside one person.”

“I’m never leaving...I promise.”

“Uh, am I interrupting?”

“I like you, like like you like you.”

“Be my Valentine?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“God, I love you.”

“You’re so fucking cute.”

“Stop being a fucking prick.”

“Do you want me to stay?”

“You’re my everything.”

“I love seeing you smile.”

“i’ve been thinking about you all day.”

“ i can’t get enough of you.”

“i like being close to you. you’re warm.”

“i’m not wearing any underwear. thought you’d like to know.”

“is this okay?”

“this is a one time thing.”

“you know where to find me.”

“you’re really good at that.”

“here’s my hotel room number.”

"don't be shy now, sit on my face."

“Wanna join?”

“Stop doing that”

“YOU SENT ME PICTURES OF YOU NAKED WHILE I WAS IN A WORK MEETING!”

"If I ask you to kiss me in front of all these people, will you do it?"

"Don't go on that date." "Why?" "You know why." "Say it."

“ i think i might be in some kind of love with you.”

“say you want me, and i’m yours.”

“you need a place to stay for the night”

“i want to taste you”

“i love it when you talk dirty

“if you interrupt me one more time— so help me god”

“if we weren’t in public right now i’d have my head between your legs”

“i don’t know what to do” “then let me teach you”

“i forgot my towel”

“this feels dirty” “that's because it is”

“don’t cover you’re face, i want to see you”

“are you sure about this?”

“ive never wanted to fuck someone as badly as i want to fuck you rn”

“do you want help with that?”

“im going to fuck you until you forget that assholes name”

“bend over the desk love”

“is that my shirt?”

“my mother adores you.”

“is that a drawing of me?”

“i didn’t mean to say that but yeah, i love you.”

“i’ve never seen anyone look so cute and ridiculous at the same time.”

“stop looking at me like that!”

“i didn’t know you could sing.”

“you weren’t supposed to hear that!”

“you wrote me a song?”

“i’m not scared but if you are, you can hold my hand.”

“this isn’t adrenaline, i want to spend my life with you.”

“do you think of me when you touch yourself?”

“Take my jacket, it’s cold”

“My friends get annoyed by how much I talk about you sometimes”

“I’m not going anywhere”

“fuck you.” - “when?”

“no one’s ever made me feel like this.”

“here, let me help you.”

“we’re quite literally fugitives of the state.” - “so no pizza?”

“you’re insane.” - “people keep telling me that.”

“you’re pretty.” - “you’re drunk.”

“i told you i’d come home to you.”

“i’ll keep you safe.”

“i’ll spend a thousand lifetimes coming back to you.”

“i didn’t think it was possible to love someone this much.”

“please never stop smiling.”

“Touch yourself for me.”

“Shut up and take your pants off.”

“Wanna see what I’m wearing underneath all this?”

“Do you know how beautiful you are? It’s truly distracting.”

“How are you this perfect?”

“I’ve waited so long for this.”

“Would you just shut up and kiss me already?”

“Tell me what you want.”

“Could he make you feel as good as i do?”

“Are you trying to turn me on or are you really just that oblivious?”

“Just let me finish this/this level and I swear ill go down on you until you cum at least three times.”

“I haven’t even touched you and you’re already this wet.”

“Were you just masturbating?” “U-uh..no, I was just..” “Want some help?”

“Tell me again.”

“I really want to kiss you right now.” “Then do it.”

“I don’t care what you do just fuck me.”

“Stop distracting me.”

[theredquilt]

If I had to be super honest in my speculation there's no way RandL have been all-the-way intimate w each other. No way they've for real shared a kiss. The text says boldly NEVER while the subtext has always peeled back to reveal a 'haha...unless'. They have all the hallmarks and awkwardness of two people who have definitely thought about it, and who deeeefinitely are interested, physically, in crossing lines -even though that satisfaction might be tied up with the meta satisfaction from knowing they're making a gif, going viral or getting a rise out of the crowd. Sometimes my brain goes, okay maybe they've definitely done more private exploration than even we've seen/heard about (which is good) but they definitely haven't processed it to where they're on the same page about it. Some frustrated survival spooning, some bed-sharing blues or maybe even a help-me-out-here handy. Link frequently references being aware on some level of Rhett's contrived attempts to initiate intimacy, like when they sniff-tested stains and Rhett was off his seat trying to sneak nose kisses off a blindfolded Link who finger wags him like 'nice try wiseguy' and says 'the fact you think trying to get me to kiss noses with you is a good idea is disturbing' or more recently the jolly rancher bit where Rhett continues to test the waters with his camping trip fantasy concept, and Link says 'you just blew your chance cause that's exactly how you'd try and get me to make out with you'. Link 'I'm keenly aware of what you want from me' Neal is always the one to watch, for me. Rhett's the most transparent guy on Earth with heart eyes visible from freaking space, but Link- generally composed when the cameras are on, but also emotionally volatile and 'intelligence-suspending' enough to let himself have moments of complete candour. To blurt things out that break the unspoken 4th wall of their amplified on-air reality. Think 'I forget how we act about that again' or -on the flip side- visibly prickle or hush Rhett, like when he goes 'off-script' on their boiled-for-safety curated backstories like when he mentions the stories of kid Rhett defending him (heavy on the details of the fight, yet foggy on the details of the provocation). What could somebody be telling little kid Link to make Rhett 'remember that?' McLaughlin feel such a need to strike out in his defense, yet not recall? This latter one reminds me of Rhett rhambling about their matching gorilla shirts on Grace Helbig -she asks if everyone called them the gorilla boys for that and Link says "No... just gay" which is possibly the ONLY time they just flat out mention what must have been on so many people in their lives', in their town's minds (if the photos they took together and *ahem* of each other were any indication) and no doubt on the mouths of classmates and Big brothers looking to fight. As well as, seemingly, on the cutting room floor of their writing space.

So we get these moments of Rhett, in Text making a Dirty RhettTM innuendo at Link's expense (something something does your dentist hold your hand on the brush and talk porn dialogue to you, Link? Haha it's funny cause it's mildly infantilizing or...something?), but Rhett's face is completely betraying him, just pure teasing and gross heart eyes when Link plays back, but Link picks up on the subtext, calls Rhett out for taking a harmless funny anecdote and swerving left of multiple points of humour to make a joke that puts HIM in a compromising position. Rhett is the one picturing his friend like this, constructing implausibly sexual situations out of a mundane transaction, all so that Link can be at the receiving end of male attention, as if Rhett's own well-documented on-camera oral fixation isn't there for any viewer whose eye wanders left while Link all but fellates a can of whipped cream or dangles a cherry betwixt this thumb and forefinger. The way they dance around this subtext like a game of Taboo is a veritable throughline in almost all their works, to the point I've seen you refer to their intricate rituals with its own dedicated tag. And it's also very indicative of their time, their upbringing etc, as well as very telling that even in this new space surrounded by this group of young and sexually diverse people ( to whom nohomo culture is an absolute relic - a mere performance art trope ) they mention exchanging hugs with all members of the group except each other. 'It would be like- do you hug your reflection when you see it?' Rhett says, laughing it off. Really, Rhett? Well, Link has made out with his reflection on camera. And the two of you can't do a full-frontal cuddle challenge, can't have a sleepover and share bro breakfast, can't stand less than five inches apart in prop glasses - without experiencing some kind of core meltdown. And that's- well, Let's Talk About That.

They hypothetically wouldn't shut their eyes when they hypothetically kiss because it would inevitably and completely un-hypothetically ~ lead to more ~. This is a funny joke somehow 🙃🙃🙃

[fangirling-is-my-passion]

*Salted Caramel*(Steve Rogers x Platonic!Reader)

Warnings: mentions of anxiety and a very, very complicated parents-child relationship (I don’t know how to write warnings, I’m so sorry).

Summary: You have an anxiety attack one day and the First Avenger comes to the rescue. In a fatherly way, just to clarify, hehe.

A/N: Eeehh, I have no clue if any of this makes any sense, haha, but I’m not gonna lie, I wrote the fic I desperately needed, so anyways I hope you enjoy it, my lovelies. Also, know that if you ever need anyone to talk to, my dms are always open. :)

You were the newest member of the Avengers and, although you’d only been part of the team for a couple of months, everybody had welcomed you with open arms. Nonetheless, you didn’t have as much opportunity to interact with them as you would’ve wished to, since you, not only being the newest member but also the youngest, still lived with your parents. Everybody had agreed that that was fine as long as you attended training sessions at the compound three times a week, which your parents agreed to. And now, even though you’d celebrated your 18th birthday a week ago, your living situation hadn’t changed much. At least not so far.

In spite of it all, the team had quickly embraced your presence in their lives and you felt more comfortable and at home with them than you’d ever felt with any of your relatives, including your parents. As a matter of fact, you didn’t really feel at home with your parents at all. Due to some issues from the past that had had its peak only a few months ago, the effect in the present was that your trust in them had broken completely and, even though you’d tried to fix the relationship several times along the years, the truth was that your parents kept letting you down constantly, making the damage irreparable by now.

This had taken a toll on your mental health and your anxiety had worsened a lot lately, nevertheless, telling your parents about it was obviously out of the question, and you didn’t want to bother the group of superheroes with such insignificant problems like yours. The world was in their hands, and in yours now too, you couldn’t make so much fuss about something like that.

Until the day you reached your breaking point.

Which sounds very dramatic, yet if you thought about it too much, you’d been through a lot worse before.

The circumstances and its specific details are irrelevant, the point is that, while you and your mother were having lunch, you had quite an intense anxiety attack. The kind you hadn’t had in a considerable amount of time.

Your hands started sweating, your heart began pounding inside your chest, making you feel like it could burst out of your ribcage at any given moment. Your breathing became shallow and quick, your lungs always asking for more air to breathe in, and a weird sensation that felt very much like losing ground and any sort of control over your life and yourself invaded you. At one point you even thought you’d pass out, but fortunately you didn’t.

You had to get out of there, fast.

So you told your mother that oh, crap, you’d just now remembered that you had a training session with the Avengers that afternoon, so you really had to get going. And without another word, not even waiting for a response from her, you took your phone and nothing more, and exited the house.

Once outside you walked aimlessly, trying to get as much air into your lungs as you could in an attempt to calm down. A million thoughts were rushing through your head, making you feel slightly dizzy, but you tried with all your might to concentrate on your inhalations and exhalations. After several minutes, you started feeling the tension in your whole body loosen up a bit, your breathing becoming steadier and your train of thoughts no longer on the verge of crashing. However, you still felt the urgent need to talk to somebody. Yes, the last thing you wanted to do was bother any of the earth's mightiest heroes with your problems, but this really seemed to be the last straw for you.

Therefore, you unlocked your phone and called the first person you could think of.

“(Y/N)?” Steve Rogers’ voice called from the other side of the line.

“Uh… Hi.” you said hesitantly, with a remaining shakiness in your voice that certainly didn’t go unnoticed by Steve.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” he asked preoccupied, and you could almost picture the expression on his face: the furrowed brows, the worry reflecting in his blue eyes.

“I, um, I’m… I’m fine, I just… I just needed to talk to someone. I’m sorry, I shouldn't be bothering you with this.”

“No, no, you’re not bothering at all. What happened? Where are you, at your house?”

“Umm, no, not exactly, I’m… I’m a couple of blocks away, but…”

“Oh, okay. Do you want me to go there, or maybe meet somewhere, so we can talk?”

“I-,” tears started gathering in your eyes, making everything around you blurry, but you weren’t exactly crying out of sadness, “I don’t want to be a burden, really, I’m so sorry, I just wanted to hear your voice…” you mumbled, your voice cracking.

“(Y/N), you’re not a burden. Whatever happened, if it’s important to you then it’s important to me, okay? We can talk. Just tell me where and I’ll be on my way.”

“Why are you being so nice to me? You barely know me…,” you sniffled, tears rolling down your cheeks now, a sign of how moved you were by Steve’s kindness. He didn’t have to do all that, leave the compound to go meet with you somewhere, to listen to a problem that had nothing to do with him, but he was willing to do it nonetheless.

“Because I care for you. Even if you haven’t been part of the team for as long as the rest of us, you are family now. And families are always there for each other,” he stated softly but with determination.

“Thank you…,” you whispered, feeling like not all the thank you’s in the world could express how grateful you were to the man. “Um, well, there’s… There’s a small coffee shop relatively near here, I guess we could… we could meet there… if it isn’t much trouble,” you added.

“Sounds good. Can you send me the address?”

“Sure.”

“And text me when you get there, all right?”

“Yeah, I… I will. Thank you, Steve. Really.”

“Don’t worry about it, kiddo.” You smiled to yourself, feeling another wave of tears coming up. “And, hey,” he added, “it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.”

_________________________

Minutes later, you were at the coffee shop, sitting at a small table for two by the window. It was a lovely place you’d discovered at the beginning of the year, one day you were wandering aimlessly around your neighbourhood. The food was quite tasty in general, and both the place and the people who worked there gave off a very warm and cosy vibe, the type you only feel during Christmas, sitting in front of the fireplace with a cup of hot cocoa in your hands.

You’d already texted Steve to let him know you’d arrived, and now all you had to do was wait for him to get there. According to him, he was just about to.

And it was true, because a moment later you saw the tall, blond-haired man enter the establishment and search for you with his eyes. He finally spotted you, and you were able to notice, even from a distance, how his expression softened, while he made his way towards you.

“Hey,” you muttered standing up, still ashamed that you’d made the superhero travel all the way there for such a mundane reason.

“Hey,” he greeted you back with a soft smile, before sitting down on his chair, prompting you to do the same, “so… What happened, kiddo?”

You sighed. “Well, I just… I, um… may or may not have had… um, an anxiety attack…,” you could feel your face heating up due to the embarrassment you felt by admitting it to somebody else. An anxiety attack. Pfff. It felt so absurd now, making such a big deal out of it when there were clearly more important things…

“An anxiety attack?” Steve asked, tilting his head to one side in that particular way of his. His ocean eyes were overflowing with kindness, and that single-handedly was more than enough to make you want to cry again. Your heart was definitely not used to such a level of sympathy.

“Yeah…,” you breathed, your eyes starting to water up once more.

“Does it happen to you very often?”

“Umm, not exactly, I don’t know… It’s… It’s been happening with more frequency lately, but… I-I don’t know, it’s… it’s complicated. I mean,” you sighed again, “I’ve… I’ve lived my whole life... with anxiety and, well, I know there isn’t an actual cure for it, but I’ve… I’ve learnt to handle it, more or less, it’s just…”

At that moment, a waiter walked up to your table and asked if you wanted to order anything. You wiped the few tears that had escaped your eyes as discreetly as you could, hoping the waiter wouldn’t notice anything. As a matter of fact, you were embarrassed by letting yourself cry in front of Steve too, but at this point you couldn’t really help it. The superhero looked at you inquiringly.

“Have you eaten already? Do you want anything?”

“Um, yeah... yeah, I have… Uh… no, I don’t know... if you want anything… I can tell you that the salted caramel frappe is really good,” you offered him a small smile.

“Is that so?” He smiled too. “Well… I’ll have one if you have one. If that’s okay.”

You chuckled lightly. “Okay. It’s a deal.”

“All right then, two... salted caramel frappes? Please.”

“Sure,” the waiter wrote it down on his notepad and gave you both a warm smile, “I’ll be right back.”

“Thank you,” you and Steve said in unison.

“So,” he began, “you said your anxiety attacks have been happening more frequently lately. What do you mean lately? Is there a specific reason? Is it because of the Avengers?”

“What? No, no, not at all, you’re actually kind of my escape from everything… Umm, it’s complicated…,” you let out another sigh and proceeded to explain the situation to Steve, at first hesitantly, but after a while you were capable of talking a bit more freely.

You told him about your parents, about how you no longer felt at home in your own house and how the trust you ever had on your mother and father had been broken. How the comfort they were supposed to provide you was long gone and, in spite of your past efforts, it always ended unfavourably. It wasn’t easy, not in the slightest, nevertheless, as you kept talking, you could feel a heaviness being lifted from your shoulders, one that you didn’t even know was there in the first place. And, yes, the possibility of things ending badly even now was still there, but Steve’s expression, his whole energy made you feel safe in a way you hadn’t felt for way too long. So you might as well give it a try and get this off your chest once and for all.

Not long after you started talking did your beverages arrive and you both thanked the waiter before you continued.

He listened to you attentively. Never interrupted you, waited patiently for you to go on every single time you paused to take a breath or sigh or calm yourself down, never pushing you to keep talking. His furrowed brow reflected his worry for you, but it was in an understanding and serene way. He was glad you were finally telling all this to somebody and felt honoured that from all people you’d trusted him. He was perfectly aware that you were opening up to him and the last thing he wanted to do was make you feel like your emotions were invalid or unimportant. So he kept listening until you finished, and then waited a few seconds more, letting you sip on your frappe, before he spoke.

“I gotta ask, is that the reason why you go to the compound more than the necessary three times a week?”

Touché. You’d been constantly lying to your parents, telling them you had training sessions almost daily, or making random yet believable excuses so you could get out of your house and spend more time with the people who actually made you feel good.

You simply nodded to confirm Steve’s suspicions.

“It’s okay, (Y/N), I understand, I really do. Families can be tough sometimes, and people may disagree with what I’m about to say, but you don’t really owe your parents anything, especially after the way they’ve made you feel. It might sound like a bold stance, particularly for someone as old-fashioned as me, but as the saying goes “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”. You’re not obliged to like your parents, let alone if they have had abusive conducts towards you. Now, in addition to that, it doesn’t have to be a greek tragedy for it to be valid. If something makes you feel bad or uncomfortable in any way, if it hurts you, then it does and that’s it. Other’s don’t get to say whether they hurt you or not, only you do,” he made a pause, pondering what to say next, ”Maybe someday your relationship with your parents can be rescued, or maybe not. Both things are fine, as long as it’s what makes you feel better. For now, however, I think we should find a quick and satisfactory solution to the problem, so why don’t you come live in the compound with all of us? You’re an adult now, you don’t need your parents’ permission,” the blue-eyed man offered you a sweet lopsided smile full of warmth, a tiny hint of fear that went unnoticed by you sparkling in his eyes, since he wasn’t sure of what impact his words had had on you. He was hoping he’d said the right thing, but he was terrified of the possibility that he’d screwed up.

Nevertheless, his fear couldn’t be further from the truth. Steve’s speech had reassured you profoundly, reinforcing that sense of safety of yours that had already started to develop around him and the rest of the Avengers. You lacked words to express how grateful you were towards him, but this man would always have your eternal gratitude. Needless to say, tears were streaming down your cheeks as quietly as you could keep them, your heart overwhelmed by the tenderness and the understanding he was offering you.

“I-,” you began, but your sobs became too much for you to contain and you broke down crying. Still, you tried to articulate your thoughts as best you could,” I’m sorry, it’s just… nobody had ever been so understanding with me and… and had ever comforted me so much in my life… you’re being so kind to me I… I honestly can’t thank you enough… I don’t even know what to say, I’m so sorry, I’m so lame...”

“You’re not,” Steve assured you softly, placing his hand over the one you had on the table. How were you supposed to stop crying if everything he did filled you with a sensation of comfort you’d lost a long time ago?

“Thank you,” you sniffled, wiping your tears clumsily with your free hand, “Thank you. And… yeah, I’d… I’d absolutely love to live with all of you at the compound. But will it be okay for everybody?”

“Of course! I told you, you’re part of the family now. We would all love to have you there with us, kiddo. We simply have to tell Tony, he’s the one in charge of that sort of stuff. And, of course, let your parents know. If you want, we can go to the compound right now and tell him. I’ll be there with you if you need me to. Both with Tony and with your parents.” Steve gave you a loving smile. His heart felt so relieved now knowing that his words hadn’t been a mistake.

“Okay, yeah… That… That would be nice. I told my mother I had a training session, so she won’t expect me to be back until later.”

“All right then, perfect,” he said, before taking another sip of his frappe, which had been reduced by half by now. Yours was almost untouched, but only because you’d been too busy speaking. Or crying. Or both. “By the way,” he added, “you were right, this thing is really good.”

You giggled. “I’m glad you liked it.”

Steve motioned the waiter to ask for the bill and once it was paid (he of course didn’t let you pay for your drink no matter how much you insisted), you both stood up from your seats, grabbing the remains of your frappes.

“Steve,” you called, making him turn back to look at you attentively once again, “thank you. So, so much. For everything,” you expressed with as much sentiment and gratitude as you were capable of. He was definitely the best man you’d ever met in your life. And that was saying something, having in mind that you’d met all the Avengers.

“Come here,” Steve said with a smile, his arms open, asking for a hug. You did as you were told, a wide smile now plastered on your lovely face. Yeah, it was a bit swollen from the crying, but it was still lovely.

To be honest, all you wanted to do at that moment was to keep hugging him and never ever let go; nonetheless, you knew that wasn't possible and eventually you'd have to break the hug. So for now, you breathed deeply, inhaling Steve’s scent (he smelled like bar soap and clean laundry, with a small touch of cinnamon), and you let yourself enjoy every second of that warm and strong embrace, and its newly found feeling of home.

[splitsofseconds]

Chameleon

Amidst the shattered glass of my fractured identity, being a borderline is the paradox that I seek my comfort in. I am a borderline. Oh, the goosebumps, the feeling of belonging somewhere to, a category you fear because BPD is still so stigmatised. I enjoy you feeling ambiguity about my illness, as this reflects your insecurity. I no longer have to float around the ceiling anymore because the diagnosis makes me feel supported by the earth– knowing that I am something. While the borderline feelings certainly do not define me, its label certainly helps me to stay grounded. I find solace in being given an explanation for my almighty emptiness, for my dichotomy between the fear of being smothered, and the starvation for unconditional love. Knowing that there is a reasonable explanation stretches my roots into the presence, and knowing that my reactions are stemming from deep-rooted dismay of being left alone, gives me less exasperation . Unfortunately, I feel I am just at the beginning of a long journey towards rediscovering myself, redefining my reality, and finding out what I love, and what I need in my life. Hitherto writing this, the good ol' emptiness had revisited me again. I felt like a shell, hollow inside. The emotional bond to the surrounding people has been cut off. Two hours ago, I could not care less if somebody that I love had died. As for that respective moment, I did not feel love. In fact, the only recurring emotion was the fear of engulfment, of being smothered. I was gripped with horror of losing the tiny pieces of identity I have formed over the years, losing myself amidst the overly clingy people that 'supposedly' love me. How stupid they are to love somebody like me. Ridiculous, how easily people can be fooled. You people are all stupid for liking me, since I merely reflect the speculum of your desired way of relationship with me. You are a talkative, easy-going person? I will randomly show up with a beer six-pack at 23:00 at your place, and will tell you the newest stories. You will be gripped by my storytelling, since I know what emotions to display throughout. You are a shy, and aloof man that has problems reaching out? Do not worry, as you can find solace in me texting you regularly, and making you laugh over little quirks I tell you about myself. Slowly, you relax, and become more comfortable around me. You start talking more, as I provide you with unconditional acceptance, and the understanding of you simply being you.

But on the inside, I feel deep hatred for all of you, as I feel deep frustration of drifting without anchoring ideals, upon which I can establish a core sense of self. There is no anchor, I can cling on. I swing from holistic yogi to an overzealous writer- to the impulse need of selling my body for a living what feels like every single hour. I do not know myself. But I know what you people want, which is why I have come to terms that my attitudes, values, and behaviours mimic those of the people I am with at the moment and may change when I am with others. I feel like a chameleon, with no independent identity of my own- a painful incoherence. I describe this as my false self, as I so desperately attempt to fit in. Perhaps, this is also the reason, why I feel, I do not deserve good things to happen to me. If I do not get what I have strived for, it was simply bad luck or deserved, as I did not do enough. However, in the case of actually receiving the object that I have so passionately worked for, be it grades, a new job, a new flat, I felt like a con artist who is simply fooling everybody. You will find out sooner or later, everything I am, has been merely a reflection of your desired taste of friendship. People here in Amsterdam actually like me, but I made sure to conduct a good appearance and learned the routine quickly. But, like always, it does not feel like me. Is that really me there? Or am I just faking it again? And as always, this feeling of feeling like the embodiment of dishonesty is always accompanied by the bigger sister: inferiority. The omnipotent feeling of never being good enough for anything, simply does not cease to exist. I am, and will never be good enough.

[legends-live-in-memories]

“How Did All This Happen?”- A Memoire by one Marinette Dupain-Cheng 1

Soooooo I decided to write this. much longer than the other things i posted, also very tonally different. I will definitely continue that other fic tho. I was just brainstorming and now this exists. Yeah.

 without further ado

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

People Fucked Up and Now It’s All Marinette’s Mess to Clean Up I

This was not how Marinette planned for her night to go. Granted, she also could not envision it going literally any other way. The woes of making a deal with the hell-raiser himself, John Constantine, she supposes. She truly hoped Adrien was having a much better time than her with his cousin in London. After the circus that was the past three years, he deserved some reprieve, even if it was with his bratty doppelganger. Regardless, Marinette. Was. Not. Pleased. No matter how many times she thinks over her plan, recalculates every step and decision, she could not fathom this night ending well for her, or anyone really, but mostly her. And no amount of old Ladybug or Guardian luck could help her. Now, if one were to wonder what kind of tragedy had befallen Marinette on this disgraceful night, a brief history of the last three months could enlighten such a person. Or better yet, let’s start at the beginning. The Real Beginning.

So, things existed. Obviously. First there was nothing, and then, something. And as more things began to exist, as new schools of knowledge and concepts and ideas began to, well, exist, Kwamis formed as well. Each Kwami was the physical manifestation of these ideas or abstracts. Creation was the first, coupled with Destruction. And as more things began to exist, more things began needing to be protected. Thus, the Kwami of Protection. This went on. For a while. Soon thereafter there were Kwamis of all types. Jubilation, Time, Strength, etc, etc, and etc. Now these Kwamis did not linger in one spot. They roamed across the far stretches of existence and interacted with the life they found.

Some Kwamis decided to form a magical pact which intergalactic historians would later dub the Emotional Electromagnetic Spectrum. Sounds familiar? The Kwamis themselves were completely blissfully unaware of this title, lest they would have explained to these beings, Maltusians they were called, that they were not in fact, electromagnetic but more so a part of the Powers that Be. Kind of. But this side-story involves the formation of a few universally known Lantern Corps, and that is a barrel of monkeys our exasperated narrator does not want to touch with a ten-foot pole. Or ever.

Other Kwamis, who stuck close to what would become known as the Milky Way, were discovered by a mage who granted them the ability to interact with humans. This mage— and Marinette was silently cursing his descendants, herself included, for if it weren’t for this absolute mad lad, none of the subsequent events of this night would have transcribed—had bound the Kwamis to magical jewelry called Miraculouses. An interesting side effect of these Kwamis being bound to the miraculouses was that the wearer could call upon the powers of the Kwamis for their own usage. The mage feared what could become of the world if this kind of power became so easily accessible, so he created the Order of the Guardians. The Order was dedicated to training young mages to protect, wield and harvest the powers of the miraculouses. The Order swore to true neutrality; wishing not to impose their will on one side or the other, to maintain balance and to not upset the natural order of the world. 

This went surprisingly well for a few millennia, that is, of course, if you ignore the sinking of Atlantis, the extinction of the dinosaurs, the Black Plague, the creation of the Lazarus Pits, Pompeii, to name a few completely egregious instances—not necessarily in order of course—and well, the point stands that it could have been astronomically worse. Until it was.  

One young mage and Guardian in training had caused the downfall of almost the entire Order of the Guardians. All the centuries of history, teachings, artifacts and even the people at the head temple, were lost to the calamity. Dozens of Miraculous Boxes were lost, destroyed in the fray. The Kwamis themselves were relatively unaffected, being immortal and all, but the magical jewelry binding them to the earth were broken, thus those Kwamis were lost to mankind once again. Only one singular box, and the young mage himself, survived. The new Guardian of one miraculous box was left to scour the earth in solitude. Well, about as much solitude one could have with 17 pocket gods as company. The fact that the only box that survived was missing two more miraculouses caused the already stressed guardian to grey further. But that tidbit of information would be a problem for later. And for someone else entirely too. Oh joy.

But before that sequence of events, aptly named “Marinette’s Trial by Fire,” however, the young guardian had a couple more life mistakes to make before he reached his internal quota apparently. Rather than travel to another sector of the Order on the other side of the earth, this young mage stumbled upon another organization, one similar in architecture and hierarchy but a pendulum swing in the total moral opposite. Yes, that’s right, the guardian found himself upon the League of Shadows, led by Ra’s Al Ghul in his endeavor of global cleansing; by acts of ecoterrorism, but who sweats the small stuff, right? There, the young guardian, who adopted the name of Wang Fu, met his first love Ming Hong and they had a son. The son had a daughter he named Mei. Now Mei was only a few weeks younger than Ra’s Al Ghul’s grandson, Damian. Now with an appropriate heir, and someone to procreate with said heir, Ra’s Al Ghul gained a special interest in the small Fu family that originally flew under the radar of the League. 

Now this is where things continue to go downhill, but not until much, much later in this story. Ra’s Al Ghul, despite his radical ambitions, was particularly good at playing the long game and understood when he couldn’t accomplish a task directly. This being said, he recognized that, due to prolonged exposure to the Lazarus Pits, his soul could not bear the strain of being a wielder of a miraculous and so he waited. Waited until a suitable heir was sired and could copulate with an heir to the guardian of the miraculous box, desiring to create a bloodline of genetically suitable successors and wielders who were loyal to him and his cause. 

Ra’s ordered for the Fu family to have a place on his court and ordered for Mei Fu to be trained in mastering the secrets of the miraculous. And master she did. By age 6 she was fluent in the coded language of the magical text, or as fluent a 6 year old can be in any language, and she had mastered 7 out the 17 miraculouses. By age 10 she was as skilled as the grandson of the Demon Head in combat and could handle simultaneous wear of 3 miraculouses. Her training, however, had to be put on hold as somebody thought usurping the Demon Head was of the utmost importance that glorious Tuesday and staged a coup. She wished Deathstroke had lost more than an eye that day, but a girl can dream she supposes. Mei and her grandfather were separated from the rest of the League and journeyed west. Somehow they ended up in Paris, France. After one too many run ins with the authorities, Mei was removed from her grandfather, who was deemed too unfit to support her. It was a miracle he wasn’t deported. 

Mei was put into protective custody where she resided until she was 13. Recently adopted, and thoroughly done with the plebeians of her daily encounters, Mei Fu became Marinette Dupain-Cheng, daughter of the best bakers in Paris. All was well and good for the new Dupain-Cheng until the start of the new school year. 

She met her grandfather again. And apparently he had a job for her and her soon to be new partner.

Hawkmoth, that bitch, had somehow acquired the two last surviving miraculouses and the only surviving grimoire and thought domestic terrorism was on the agenda for the next few years. Why? Because investing in a family therapist was too much of an inconvenience for local recluse, Gabriel McFucking Agreste, Marinette would shortly learn. 

After dealing with all of that and juggling between her reignited guardian training, and ‘normal’ girl life—because her parents don’t know that she’s a magical girl in the making—, Marinette was ready to sleep for a thousand years. Or commit murder. Whichever gave her enough serotonin to complete her current passion project. But, alas, no rest for the totally-over-it or however that saying goes. Because after declaring Paris safe once again, sending off her brother-in-arms, Adrien Agreste, to family in London (marginally decent but anything beats the abusive prick of a sperm donor), in waltz one drunken John Constantine.

Ah yes. Him. That absolute bastard who doesn’t deserve nice things in life. That guy.

This unpleasantry approached Master Fu and Marinette, who has been regulated to errand-girl in lieu of training, with a job that he proclaimed that only one blessed with magic, and specifically NOT connected to the Justice League could accomplish. Apparently, a group called the Cult of the Kobra resided on Santa Prisca and was in possession of a dangerous magical artifact that had been the backbone of their organization for years. Constantine came to them asking them for assistance in retrieving it as the Justice League could not interfere in the Caribbean due to new UN legislation. It was a mission of utmost urgency for he feared the cult leader, Kobra himself, was planning on enacting a ritual that could bring calamity to Earth. Which is just what the doctor ordered. Not. In exchange, he agreed to add to her magical training as while master Fu was good, he was still young when he ran away from his problems the first time and thus was limited in his magical knowledge.

That was three months ago. Three months of planning, training, and convincing her parents that letting her go on an extended retreat for an undetermined amount of time with her mostly absent biological grandfather was totally reasonable for the seventeen year old to do. Like, come on. She’s almost old enough to drink, almost ready for university and has been praised for her independence and self-sufficiency for years. She’ll be fine is what she told her parents and she was almost able to convince herself of that too. She would be perfectly fine. Right?

Wrong.

Marinette was anything but fine. She was stressed, she was tired and she was abso-fucking-lutely pissed at anything that even breathed in her direction. Why? Well that brings us back to the beginning of the story when everything on this mission did not go according to plan. So here she was along what was once upon a time the eastern coastline of Santa Prisca. Oh and look. The Junior Justice League has arrived.

Purrrrfect. 

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