#there is no reality tv

[contentment-of-cats]

I take a deep breath because I can.

Edited: They have found a debris field near the Titanic.

Mortality is never far from a cancer patient's mind. We all die, cancer or no cancer, fairly or unfairly. The universe is the universe and keeps on going whatever the big, beautiful, horrifying, and deadly universe keeps on doing. It's not my mortality that I've been thinking about the past few days, though it's never far from my mind. It's about five people I didn't know.

People hate death. It gets in the way of the happy endings that we've been spoon-fed over decades. We want to see happy endings, see absolute miracles, so much that we won't agree that there is a line where Happy Ending Land stops and reality begins. The media is complicit and people dwell in denial to the point where it's psychosis.

CNN is my case in point this morning.

If that submarine did not have a catastrophic hull failure on Sunday morning, there are now five bodies on a garage-built unclassed, uninspected, 'experimental' submarine on the floor of the ocean. The iar is gone, the battery power is gone, they are breathing in each other's carbon dioxide, hungry, thirsty, hypothermic,in the absolute dark. Billionaire hatred aside, I cannot think of a more horrible way to die nor anyone I would ever wish it on - the same way I would never wish cancer on anyone. I am walking the measured mile, these folks were locked in and dropped down. The fact that people signed an extensive multi-page waiver to board this thing makes me scream in horror.

One thing nobody wants to talk about on TV is the very real probability that one hour and forty-five minutes into it's dive, the sub experienced catastrophic hull failure and crushed down to something the size of a Weber kettle grill. All the air would have been pushed out of every component, including the humans inside. It would have taken a couple of seconds at that depth, just fifteen minutes from the bottom and the wreck of the Titanic. Apparently losing contact with the sub happened often enough that it was not reported until eight hours later. That is the best case scenario. A better case would be that they find it, bring it up to the surface, and show people the actual real consequences of hubris and stupidity.

Worst case is that they hung on in the dark, in the cold, hearing rescuers above them as they died this morning.

Their friends are saying that they could still be alive. These men were experienced adventurers, they would know how to conserve oxygen. The FFS section of this post begins below with OceanGate's co-founder talking to CNN.

While life support supplies are now believed to be running low, a co-founder of the company that operates the missing Titanic submersible says he believes the crew's expertise will extend the "window available" for rescue. Guillermo Söhnlein made the comments in a statement to CNN. He specified her was speaking on behalf of himself and not the company, OceanGate. He said OceanGate CEO and co-founder Stockton Rush — who is aboard the sub — and the rest of the crew would have "realized days ago that the best thing they can do to ensure their rescue is to extend the limits of those supplies by relaxing as much as possible." Based on the crew members' expertise, the "window available" for rescue is longer than "what most people think," Söhnlein said. Thursday will be a "critical day in this search and rescue mission," he added. "I continue to hold out hope for my friend and the rest of the crew," Söhnlein said. "I would encourage everyone to remain hopeful for getting the crew back safely."

This is fucking nutty. This is denial. Nobody wants to think that corporate hubris killed five people including the co-founder, engineers deal in reality. These people are dead. You can't spin dead. You can't wish away dead. Dead is the hardest, coldest fact of all and one of the hardest to live with, whether it's yours or someone else's.

Side note. On Monday it will have been a month since my mom's death. I knew it was coming either from dementia or COPD. The stroke moved it up. Nobody, including her doctors, saw it coming. There was no high blood pressure, her vascular health was excellent. With directives in place, she was as comfortable as possible. I remind myself that hemipaleigic, with dementia, and COPD would have been the ultimate cruelty. I still get the urge to pick up the phone and call her. I can't. Death is the hardest reality.

Next is a friend of two of the men in the sub.

“I know that the adventurers on board are experienced, very experienced,” said Per Wimmer, an adventurer who was previously signed up for two canceled trips on the Titan. Wimmer is an acquaintance of Hamish Harding and Stockton Rush, two of the five people on the missing vessel. He said Harding, a British businessman and trained jet pilot, and Rush, the CEO and founder of the company leading the voyage, are both very experienced adventurers who would know to conserve oxygen. “They would no doubt know what it means to slow down, take it easy, and use as little oxygen as possible, and therefore extend the potential timeline as much as possible," he added. Wimmer said that the presence of OceanGate CEO Stockton Rush on board the vessel is helpful, as he knows “the ins and outs of how this submersible works.”

Again, the Bulletproof Fallacy is at work. "I have never been shot, therefore I am bulletproof."

They've deployed a medical team with a specialty in dive medicine and equipped with hyperbaric oxygen chambers. There is hope, yes, and then there is acceptance that the ocean is as merciless as space. It is hostile to our life form in that if our artificial environment is breached, we can't continue to live.

They've found a debris field. It may or may not be part of the 1912 wreck.

[tonitheloftwing]

Meme inspired by me, an aroallo, being absolutely gobsmacked by the concept of Too Hot to Handle

[centaur-dreaming]

NUMBER ONE?! NUMBER FUCKING O N E?! ON TUMBLR?! T U M B L R ? !

[crushedsweets]

Bros haunting meeeeeeeeee

[superbat-love]

Dick: And what would you do for him?

Contestant 1: I would die for Billion Wayne! I mean—Bruce Wayne!

Jason: Let’s go, you and me, in a real deathmatch. I’m itching for a proper send-off. Guys, remember to play ‘The Final Countdown’ at our funerals. None of that sad shit.

Contestant 1: No wait! Please don’t hurt me!

Jason: Weak! You, why should we consider you?

Contestant 2: I have a nice house, nice car, expensive taste, and I attract others to me like a magnet. You’ll find that I’m well-balanced in all aspects.

Tim: All except for your credit card balance. But I’m sure you already have more than enough admirers in the money-lending business chasing you. Next!

Contestant 3: I can defend Bruce from any kidnapper because I am indestructible!

Damian: The only indestructible thing about you is your ego, and unfortunately that’s also the only thing you’d ever be capable of defending. Next!

Contestant 4: Hi, I’m here for my interview with Mr Wayne. Is this the right room?

Dick: Depends. What are your special skills?

Contestant 4: T-There’s nothing special about me! I’m just an average guy with average skills and an average life! Umm, I can also make a pretty good pie?

Damian: What flavor? Weigh your next words carefully because Father is allergic to bullshit.

Contestant 4: Kansas-style apple pie. I learnt it from my Ma.

Dick: Great, Alfred would approve! What’s your name?

Contestant 4: Clark Kent.

Tim: Well, Clark Kent, you’ve just progressed to the next round of ‘All’s Fair In Love and War – Bruce Wayne Edition’. Congratulations!

[kipper-face-penny-bottle]

[erinwantstowrite]

Dick and Tim would be REALLY good on reality tv,,, they're both charismatic (please do not forget that Tim makes friends/allies easily just like Dick can), handsome, CLEVER, and know how to play to a persona. i think they'd go on shows for fun and to de-stress. like one too many things piss them off in their daily lives and they could pretty much get a vacation from it just to go on these shows. no one in the family can talk to them and they get to annoy people, crack jokes, and get fun puzzles in the form of a literal puzzle or figuring out social dynamics of the other players.

sometimes they go on shows by themselves but mostly use it as a brotherly bonding activity. if it's a show where they can be a duo they're GOING to do it. and they're going in to play to a storyline, not to win. they don't need the money, they don't need the publicity, they just want to have fun. sometimes if they figure out that everyone on the show sucks and they get competitive, they'll win. but mostly their goal is "how can we make the funniest plot line look the most natural." or something like that. i know a producer LOVES to see them coming. i bet EVERYONE tunes in when they're on a show because they're fucking hilarious even if half of what they say are inside jokes. the rest of the family watches and they KNOW what those shits are pulling, they have betting pools where they guess what the two are gonna do next, they're the FIRST to make memes for both internet and for the family group chats.

one time they convinced Bruce to go (it's been many a years since he really had to play up the Brucie role, cause he's a dad now and the older he gets the more people expect him to mellow out, and even back when he was full Brucie, reality TV wasn't his thing). it was one of those survival based shows where you come is as a team and try to win together. Bruce got lost in the woods after going on a hike. The camera men literally lost him and Tim and Dick were playing it up for the camera. Dick cried and invited the other teams to a funeral. Tim had a speech that was basically "I think he's fine but this is my perfect opportunity to embarrass my dad with stories." The producers were like "we fucking killed Bruce Wayne oh my fucking god" and Bruce shows up at the funeral like "oh what a beautiful service my boys are so great." They won by pure luck and circumstances and they were actively TRYING to lose that game. They were gobsmacked at the end and everyone uses the moment they looked at each other in confusion and shock as reaction gifs

[crow-enthusiast]

death had the best entrance scene this, castiel had the best entrance scene that, WRONG

crowley immediately kissing a man for fun and profit

[illuteridae]

my friend the alien likes maury

[blackerthings]

SERENA PAGE & KORDELL BECKHAM

2024 LOVE ISLAND U.S.A. WINNERS

[imnotditzy]

I cannot stop laughing at the how insane Captain looks with DTC.

Their constantly at each others throats too,

(Cap’s resting his head on his palm, the leagues talking about taxes or something — Blly asked DTC what’s their favorite animals are and Zeus said a dinosaur)

Mercury: Zeus, I believe the boy means ‘living’ animals

Zeus: 😐

Hercules: I don’t mind lions, though I had to strangle one once.

Billy: You strangled a lion?

Hercules: It was a debt of my twelve labors.

Billy: …

Billy: You’re broke? Hercules: …

Hercules: 👺

Achilles: Is that twelve more labors I see?

Solomon: I’d choose ant. Zeus: Ant?

Solomon: Yes.

Zeus: No.

Solomon: Pardon?

Zeus: No. I will not be ridiculed for my choice when you chose an Ant. An ant, Solomon. Why? It’s barely on Earth.

Solomon: It’s respectable; It’s one of the most hard working things on earth, yet it’s the size of a crump.

Zeus: It would get organ failure over a crumb.

*dramatic gasps like their on a reality tv show*

Billy (looking scandalized while Batman drones on about tax breaks): 😧

[softhaus]

I wish there was more annoying lame nerds in the butch/femme community I can't keep up talk about reality tv shows I need to listen to some dyke tell me about some stupid manga they read 15 times

[rationales]

Angela wakes up at 8am and chooses violence.

[sis-does-simp]

*breaking into Jason’s apartment*

Dick: Listen I know you said you didn’t take it but I just wanted to double check, are you sure you don’t have my-

*Sees Jason laying his head on y/n’s lap, wearing a purple fuzzy robe, hello kitty makeup band, and golden face mask, all while they’re watching 90 day fiancé and y/n is feeding cookies into his mouth*

Jason(with a mouthful of cookies): If anyone hears about this you’re dead.

*20 minutes later*

Dick: oh he is totally only in this for the money!

Y/n & Jason at the same time: it’s so obvious

[pandadrake]

Horses. I really like that other movie that Hobie's voice actor was in.

IDK why I ended up putting so much effort into the rendering this was just supposed to be a shitpost.

Hobie's pose is heavily referenced from a shot from the movie Nope (2022). The background texture is also from the same frame.

Miguel is cast as the stressed-out, half-Latino, tech guy with an angel name who watches camera feeds all day and bitches about his life to people he just met.

[ecstarry]

imagine reg and james entering love is blind as a joke but actually falling in love in the pods and being the only couple that actually says yes at the altar