#and then the reality tv zoom to cas ‘got him’

[crow-enthusiast]

death had the best entrance scene this, castiel had the best entrance scene that, WRONG

crowley immediately kissing a man for fun and profit

[tobythewise]

Square filled: Rockstar!Cas

Ship: Dean Winchester/Castiel

Rating: General

Summary: Dean can’t take being in the shadow and watching Cas be with groupies and other people anymore. Will Cas be able to stop Dean from walking away? Or will Dean be the reason for the tears on Cas’s guitar?

Author Note: I’ve been watching Trolls with my son a lot lately and this song inspired this story! I hope you enjoy! :)

Written/Created for @spnaubingo

Dean pulls Castiel along by his shirt sleeve until they’re alone behind closed doors of Cas’s dressing room.

“We gotta talk, Cas.”

Cas stands unfazed and Dean takes to time to scan his face. He wants to memorize everything about Cas. His messy dark hair, his startling blue eyes, his angular jaw, the crinkles around his eyes. Everything he’s grown to love about his best friend.

“I’m leaving. This is the last show I’m helping with,” Dean blurts out. He knows if he doesn’t rip it like a bandaid he won’t have the guts to get everything out.

“I don’t understand,” Cas says slowly.

“I can’t do this anymore. I’m not happy, Cas. I’m so sick of living in everyone else’s shadow. It feels like no one sees me anymore. You’re busy with everything and I don’t fault you for that. You’re living your dream and I’m so happy for you, Cas. I really am, but I have to think about me for once. I dreamed of being with you up on stage and now I’m the sound guy. I’m the one who plugs in your mic and your guitar. I’m nobody.”

Cas tries to interject, “Dean, that’s not true.”

“It is. I’m the nobody that does the work that no one else feels like doing. But I would continuing doing it. I don’t mind the work. The works not even the real reason I have to go.”

“Then what is it? You can tell me, Dean.”

Dean takes a steadying breathe. “I can’t handle watching you hook up with random groupies anymore, Cas. I can’t handle being your wing man or comfort you when you get your heart broken. I don’t want to sit by and watch you go by without even looking at me! It’s like I’m invisible and I can’t do it anymore. I deserve to be seen. I deserve more.” Dean wipes a stray tear and looks right into his favorite blue eyes. “I love you. And that’s why I have to go. I can’t keep living in the shadows, waiting for you to notice me anymore. I can’t sit by and hope you’ll notice how unhappy I am.” Dean shakes his head. “This is my last show. I won’t be here when you get off stage.”

“Dean,” Cas tries but is interrupted by Gabriel’s arrival.

“Come on, Cassie. We gotta go.”

“One second, Gabe.”

“No can do, buckero. Gotta go now!”

Gabe grabs onto Cas’s sleeve and pulls his through the door. One last look at Dean with sad eyes and he’s gone.

Dean gives himself a few minutes to let everything sink in. He thought he’d feel relief to have finally gotten everything off his chest but in reality he feels worse. He feels like there’s a giant pit in his chest and he’s not sure anything will ever be able to fill it.

Dean walks to the side of the stage. He watches as Cas and the band perform. Dean’s mesmerized by Castiel’s performance just as always. He could watch his best friend sing and play his guitar for hours and of course he has.

They met in high school and were inseparable. When Cas got his big break, it was only logical that Dean would follow in anyway he could. Even if that meant being stage manager of all his shows. Dean didn’t mind being behind the scenes, he just wanted the undivided attention of one person.

Dean figured eventual Cas would realize he’s been here for him through all these years and all the ups and downs and realize he loved Dean back. Well, so much for that plan. Slowly, Dean was becoming less and less like himself. He’s felt grey in sea of color.

Well, no more! After this, he would figure out what makes him happy and do it. No more waiting around. Dean watches as the band finish up their last song. He begins walking away.

Dean walks through a few sets of doors until he’s in the hallway that leads to the parking lot. The stadium they’re in has a tv every few feet so everyone can watch the performance, even if they need to use the restroom or get concession. That’s how Dean notices that Cas is performing an encore. He stops and looks at the screen. He’s allowed to watch one last time, he reasons with himself.

He watches as Cas slowly walks out onto the stage and drags a stool and his acoustic guitar along with him. He sits down and adjusts the mic. When Dean hears Cas’s voice, he gets goosebumps.

“Thank you everybody for coming out today. I have one more song to perform for you tonight. This is a very special song.” Cas pauses and looks to the backstage where Dean normally sits and watches.

Dean stand frozen, eyes glued to the tv. What the hell is Cas doing, he wonders.

“I’ve had this song in my heart since I was a teenager and never had to guts to singing it out loud. Dean.”

Dean’s heart hammers in his chest as the camera zooms in. He feels like he’s standing right in front of Cas, eyes locked.

“Dean, if your still here. I’m sure you’ll recognize this song. I used to strum it and hum it all the time. This song is for you. I hope it will help you understand how I truly see you.”

Cas begins to strum his guitar and instantly Dean’s belly filled with butterflies. It’s the song that Cas has been working on since they were in high school. Now, apparently it finally has words.

“You with the sad eyes, don’t be discouraged. Oh I realize it’s hard to take courage, in a world full of people, you can lose sight of it all. The darkness inside you can make you feel so small.”

Dean is stood in his spot. He can’t take his eyes off of Cas as he plucks the cords between verses. It’s beautiful.

“Show me a smile then, don’t be unhappy. Can’t remember when, I last saw you laughing. This world makes you crazy and you’ve taken all you can bear. Just call me up ‘cause I will always be there.”

Dean feels his heart speed up and and his breathe feels trapped in his chest. Could it be possible that Cas feels the same. That his feelings could be returned. His eyes are glued to the man on the tv who he loves with all his heart and prays that this is real.

“And I see your true colors shining through. I see your true colors, and that’s why I love you, Dean.”

Dean feels like his whole body is jolted with lightning. He can’t believe what he’s just heard. Before he can even understand what’s going on, he realizes he’s running. He can hear Cas’s voice float through the entire stadium but he just keeps his feet moving. He’s gotta get back.

Dean is at the door that leads to the backstage but when he goes to pull the door it doesn’t budge.

“Fuck!” It’s locked and he’s got no way of getting inside. Before he can get too far down in his gloomy mindset, the door flies open and Benny is standing there with a smile.

“Go on, brother. Go get your man.”

Dean pats Benny on the back as he runs past. Before he knows it, he’s standing at his usual place on the side of the stage. Dean can tell the beautiful song is coming to an end and he savors every last note. The sound of the guitar is becoming softer and softer and Cas’s voice is a beautiful whisper as he sings out the last lines.

“So don’t be afraid to let them show your true colors. True colors are beautiful, like a rainbow. Oh oh oh oh oh like a rainbow. Mmm mmm.”

Cas finishes the song and makes his way off the stage with one last wave to the audience. Once he’s backstage he finally looks up and meets Dean’s eyes. He knows his eyes are filled with unshed tears but Dean doesn’t care. He just wants Cas.

Dean walks up to Cas and pulls him into a tight hug. “Is that really how you feel, Cas.”

Cas clears his throat and croaks out a, “Yes.”

Then they’re kissing and Dean isn’t sure why it took so long for this to happen but he doesn’t care. He’s just so freakin’ happy to be here in this moment. To have Cas in his arms.

“I’m so sorry, Dean. If I’d have known I would have said something sooner.”

“Shh, it’s okay, Cas. We’re here now. And I love you.”

“I love you, too. And I truly see you, Dean. I’m sorry I was slightly blind but I promise it won’t happen again.”

Dean smiles and is rewarded with the giant gummy grin he loves. “I see you, too. Now let’s head back to the tour bus before your groupies find you.”

[achillestiel]

All That Glitters | Chapter Four | ao3 Link

Filming continued well into the afternoon. All the while, Dean was determined to stay as far away from Jack as humanly possible. It made him well sick to think how much had changed in the space of a year. During filming the year before the pair had been with each other all day. Dean had met Jack three years prior. Jack came to the show as a cameraman while Dean was working non-stop as a producer. They had instantly clicked and within a few months started dating. Dean had to admit that he had fallen head over heels in love with Jack and after two years he’d asked Jack to marry him. Everything had been going brilliantly until the day Jack cheated on him.

It had been brutal. Really brutal. The contestant that Jack had cheated on Dean with was kicked off the show and Jack was instantly fired. Still, rumours circulated the internet about a contestant that was kicked off the show and the reasons why. For weeks after Dean had to see various rumours posted on Twitter and Reddit threads. Eventually, Dean had unplugged himself from his phone and just thrown himself into work. Sam, Jess, and Charlie had all stood by him but for months after Dean couldn’t even think about Jack without wanting to scream.

“Dollar for our thoughts?” Charlie said as she sidled up to him. Without Dean even having to ask, Charlie handed him a large coffee. “Sam told me that you and Jack came to blows earlier on, you ok?” Charlie said as Dean gulped down his coffee.

“Yeah.” Dean muttered. As he drank his coffee he watched the scene in front of them unfold. Cas was sat on an outside coach talking to Amelia. Both of them were talking animatedly about their lives. Dean knew this whole show was bullshit but at least the viewers would think there was chemistry between them.

“Really?” Charlie asked looking dubious. “Because Sam said that shit went down between you two. What happened?”

“The usual. We just can’t be in the same room as each other without screaming.” Dean said. “Crazy to think I was gonna marry him right?”

“Well I know you liked him��ok, loved him but I never liked him. He was a douche. Still is.” Charlie said bluntly.

“Are you just saying that because of what he did?” Dean asked.

“I’m being a supportive best friend, you ass.” Charlie said with a roll of her eyes. “Are you sure you’re alright?” She asked.

“Yeah, seriously Charlie I’m fine.” Dean said. “Camera 4 zoom on Amelia.” He said into his mic. He glanced over at Charlie and gave her a weak smile. “Sure, I yelled at him but it was deserved. Plus, I know Sam is going to make his life hell for the entire time we’re here.”

“Oh yeah, Sam’s got him doing shots of the grounds and all the boring shit.” Charlie said with a snort.

“Dean, where’s my damn kiss?” Josie snapped. “I’m getting bored watching this shit.”

“Viewers are going to think they’re cute together.” Dean said.

“They’re going to see about a minute of this footage, just get me a damn kiss.” Josie replied.  

“Cut!” Dean called. Amelia and Cas jolted like they hadn’t even realised they were being filmed. Cas caught Dean’s eye. Dean motioned for Cas to come over to him. Cas gave Amelia a smile, stood up and walked over to Dean. “Resume filming in two minutes!” Dean called. “Jess, we need highlight and lipstick on Amelia.”

“On it.” Jess shot back, appearing out of the nowhere.

“Everything ok?” Cas asked Dean.

“Yeah, we just need things to be a bit of more…” Dean gestured with his hands. He wasn't remotely surprised when Cas raised an eyebrow.

“Heated?” Cas guessed. Dean nodded. “You do realise that being told to kiss someone is weird, right?” Cas said.

“Dude, this show has been my life for years. Nothing is weird to me.” Dean said. “Cas, we just need one kiss then Josie will back off until tomorrow.”

“Fantastic.” Cas said with a roll of his eyes. Dean gave him a sympathetic look. Unlike all the other suitors on the show, this hadn’t been Cas’ idea. He’d been made to do the show by his father and now he was stuck looking for a future wife.

“Right let’s resume filming.” Dean called. “Cameras 1 and 2, close in and cameras 3 and 4 need to be wide.” All the cameramen got into position, with Sam looking over the monitors to make sure everything looked right. He gave Dean a thumbs up.

“Right let’s go and get me some damn good shots of this kiss.” Josie said. “Then after this, it’s rose time.”

“Got it.” Dean said. “Let’s go everyone.” Dean called and filming resumed. He watched as Cas and Amelia’s conversation flowed. Cas seemed to get into more and moved closer to Amelia, his hand gently placed on her knee.

“Today has been crazy. Crazy but fun.” Amelia said as she smiled at Cas, the lighting picking up her highlight and making her face glow.

“It has, I’ve enjoyed our time together.” Cas said. He smiled at Amelia and right there, Dean knew the viewers would eat it up. Cas was goddamn attractive when he smiled. As Amelia smiled back just as brightly Cas slowly leaned in and kissed her. It wasn’t the ‘panty dripping’ kiss that Josie wanted but it looked genuine enough.

Dean watched on as the two kissed, feeling slightly weird as he did. He really wasn’t sure why. Over the years he’d watched countless contestants kiss the suitors and he’d never felt weird. It was probably due to lack of sleep and his run-in with Jack. At least that’s what Dean hoped it was.

“Wow, obvious much?” Charlie said as she looked Dean up and down.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Dean said far too quickly. Charlie’s eyebrows were raised so high that they disappeared under the thick bangs.

“Yeah, sure you don’t.” Charlie said. “You’re just lucky everyone else isn’t half as observant as I am.” She added with a very smug look.

“Seriously, Charlie I have no idea what you are talking about.” Dean said even though he knew exactly what Charlie was talking about. She knew him far too well and Dean hated that she could read him like an open book. This wasn't the first time that Dean had thought one of the suitors was good looking, during his first year as an intern Dean had harbored a crush on the suitor until he had realised the guy was a complete dick. That didn't seem like the case with Cas. After reading his file, Dean had to admit that the guy was a decent guy. Hopefully, Dean would be able to just ignore the toy crush he could feel developing.

-

After a full day of filming Dean was exhausted and seriously needed a drink. Cas had given the group date rose to Amelia, much to the annoyance of several of Balthazar’s girls. All the producers had been doing ITMs well into the early evening. Dean nearly cried with happiness when Charlie suggested beers by the producer trailers. The evening was hot and muggy, the sun finally going down well after nine. Dean was making his way across the outside decking of the mansion when he heard his name being called. Dean watched as Cas hurried to catch up with him.

"Hey, what's up Cas?" Dean asked. They had only said goodbye a few hours previously but in that time Cas looked like he had showered and changed.

"What are your plans for the evening?" Cas asked with a warm smile.

"I'm just grabbing drinks with the others, why don't you come with us?" He suggested. Normally the suitors kept to themselves but Dean a feeling that Cas was getting either bored or lonely.

"Are you sure they won't mind?" Cas asked. Dean let out a snort. "I'll take that as a no." He said as they walked over to the large sweeping driveway that housed all the producer trailers. Charlie, Balthazar, Sam and a few other members of the crew were sat around drinking bottles of beer.

"Dean will know!" Charlie cried when she saw him. "Was it Kelly or Brooke whose boob fell out during a rose ceremony last year?" She asked.

"Brooke. She was one of my girls." Dean said as he accepted a few bottles of beer from Sam. He handed one over to Cas. "Josie said that there was a five grand bonus for a nip slip during a big event so I told Brooke to wear a tighter dress."

"That's awful." Cas said.

"That's TV man, I didn't think her whole boob would fall out. Made for a good episode though." Dean said. "You guys already know Cas."

"Prince Charming." One of the cameramen said with a nod.

"Cas, you know Charlie already."

"Don't say anything about the shorts." Cas said quickly. Charlie snickered.

"And you've probably seen Balthazar bossing girls around. He's a fellow producer." Dean said nodding over to Balthazar. "The mountain of a man with floppy hair is my brother and head director of photography, Sam."

"Thanks Dean." Sam said with a bitchy look. Sam was famous on set for them.

"And these are a few of our cameramen Miles and Connor." Dean said, ignoring Sam and nodding over at the cameramen. He had known both of them for years.

"Hey man, slumming it with us tonight?" Mike asked as he shook Cas’ hand.

"What do you mean?" Cas asked as he sat down next to Dean.

"Suitors usually just sit in their rooms and never hang out with us." Charlie said. "The girls are nicer and spend a lot of time with us but the suitors never bother."

"Well, that's rude." Cas said bluntly.

"God, where did we find you?" Charlie asked with a shake of her head.

"New York?" Cas said looking over at Dean with a confused look. Everyone chuckled at that.

"Dean, coach your boy." Miles said between laughter. "He's just so..."

"Naive?" Balthazar guessed.

"Ernest." Connor said. Charlie and Miles nodded in agreement.

"Coach me how?" Cas asked.

"You know, what to say to the cameras and stuff like that." Sam said. “It's nothing against you at all Cas, loads of people need coaching on how to act in front of the cameras and what to say in interviews.”

"So like a script?" Cas said. "So much for this being 'reality' TV."

"When has reality TV ever been real though?" Dean asked. He was right and he knew he was. Sometimes reality shows were more heavily produced than scripted shows.  

"Hey, Britney W and Neil are happily married now." Charlie said. Britney W had been Charlie's girl. That was during the Year of The Britney's. Dean knew that they were on good speaking terms and Charlie had gone to the wedding. They were still married and seemed happy from all their social media posts.

"You're buying into the hype." Miles in a teasing tone.

"Shouldn't you all if you work here?" Cas asked. Both Miles and Connor shook their heads.

"We've been here too long." Connor said. "I mean, I've here for five years. Miles has worked on the show for six years and Dean's been here since the dawn of time." Dean nodded in agreement.

"A hundred years before the mast until my debt is paid." Dean said with a fake, but dramatic sounding, sigh. Charlie and Sam rolled their eyes.

"Please stop quoting those pirate films." Charlie said.

"They're timeless classics." Dean said defensively. Sam and Charlie both snorted.

“You only watched them because you thought Orlando Bloom was hot." Charlie said.

"Don't judge me, dude had that Errol Flynn look." Dean said with a shrug. “I'm a sucker for the dark messy hair. Even better if its long enough to grab hold of.” He added.

"Gross." Sam said.

"Homophobe." Dean said, leaning over and punching Sam on the arm.

"Hey!" Sam cried. "I am not!" He added, rubbing his arm as Jess walked over.

"Sam's not what?" She asked as she gracefully sat down on Sam's lap and kissed him on the cheek.

"A giant homophobe." Dean said. Jess glared at Dean before giving Sam a knowing look.

"You bad mouthed Orlando Bloom again didn't you?" Jess asked him.

"We've had to watch those fucking films more times than those old cowboy films, that's saying something." Sam said. Dean stuck his tongue out, fully aware of how childish he seemed. He glanced over at Cas to see how he was doing and was surprised to see a bemused look on Cas' face.

"This is probably the most fun I've had since I got here." Cas said bluntly.

"What? You don't find having a ton of women fawning over you fun?" Balthazar asked. "That's an average Wednesday for me." He added with a smirk.

"Please don't tell us the story of your foursome again. I had weird dreams for days afterwards." Charlie said. She wrinkled her nose is disgust and reached for another bottle of beer.

"I feel like I'm slightly out of my element here, I'm not going to lie." Cas said. Dean really did have to feel for the guy.

"Have you dated many women before you came on the show?" Jess asked.

"I've had a few partners since high school but nothing substantial." Cas said. Dean picked up the word 'partners' straight away and, from the look on her face, so did Charlie. Neither of them said anything though. "I haven't dated much over the past few years because I've been too busy with work. Dating multiple women at one time isn't my thing."

"I can give you a few pointers." Balthazar said with a wink.

"Dude no, the network will not let us air an orgy." Dean said quickly. Balthazar actually looked fairly sad over that.

"Good. Those days are behind me." Cas said. Dean, Sam and Miles all choked on their beers. Dean whipped around and stared at Cas. "What?” Cas seemed totally bemused by their shocked expressions. “College is a time to experiment."

"Of all the things I expected you to say, that was not it." Dean said. Cas actually looked quite smug. "So you've had an orgy, but I had to coach you on how to kiss someone?"

"Kissing is an art. With orgies, you just go with the flow." Cas said without a hint of sarcasm. Dean stared over at Charlie with a shocked expression.

"You, Castiel Collins, are a dark horse." Charlie said with a wicked looking grin.

They drank well into the early hours, Josie coming to join them eventually. She brought a bottle of tequila and the night just dissolved into hysterical laughter. Everyone told Cas various stories of past seasons of the show, Josie revealing the best secrets. She had seen everything over the years. The whole night was good. That was until the rest of the camera crew joined, Jack being among them.

"I'm gonna call it a night." Dean said as soon as he spotted Jack walking towards them.

"Dean, don't leave because of him." Sam said in a low voice. Dean shook his head.

"Nah, I got ITMs with Amelia to do in the morning and the one-on-one to oversee." Dean said before glancing over at Cas. "Want me to walk you back? It's getting late and you have a date tomorrow."

"Oh...yes, thank you." Cas said, draining his beer.

“Who are you picking for the date?” Balthazar asked.

“Oh…Anna.” Cas said. Dean punched the air with triumph. He could tell that he’d end up with at least one of his girls in the finale.

“Fucking hell, Dean always gets the good ones.” Charlie said. “Can't you pick someone like Tiffany or Carlie?” She asked.

“I have no idea who those women are.” Cas said. Dean laughed loudly while Charlie looked pissed.

“I swear next year I'm getting the good ones.” Charlie said, shooting Josie a pleading look. Josie next sat there, drinking her drink and looking smug. “Anyway, see you guys in the morning.” Charlie said to Dean and Cas.

"Thanks for letting me hang out with you all." Cas said.

"It's cool Cas." Charlie said.

"Now just try and act this loose on camera." Josie said, her mind always on the show.

"Night guys." Dean said. Sam shot him a look but Dean just shook his head. He'd talk to Sam in the morning. Cas said his goodbyes and the two of them walked back towards the mansion. Of course, they had to pass Jack and the camera crew as they went.

"Really Dean?" Jack asked.

"Just don't." Dean snapped, not even stopping to give Jack the satisfaction. Dean carried on walking, furiously ignoring whatever Jack was going to say back, until he and Cas arrived at the suitor’s part of the mansion.

“Are you alright Dean?” Cas asked giving Dean a concerned look.

“Yeah…yeah…”

“No offense but I don’t believe you.” Cas said bluntly.

“It’s a long story Cas. I ain’t just saying that to be a dick either, it really is a long story.” Dean said. “I'll probably tell you the whole thing when I'm drunk.”

“I might hold you to that. I can see you being a ‘dark horse’ as well.”

“I don't know if that's a compliment coming from Mr Orgy.”

“Don't knock it until you have tried it Dean, you might find one very enlightening.” Cas said, still without a hint of sarcasm. Seriously, the guy needed to be more like this on camera. The viewers would eat it up. “I'll let you get to bed, you have an early morning.”

“Night Cas.” Dean said with a smile.

“Thank you for letting me spend time with you all tonight, I like the people you work with.” Cas said. He sounded genuine as well. He really had enjoyed hanging out with the crew.

“They're basically my family. Well, obviously Sam is family but Charlie and the others are just like family to me as well.” Dean said. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“It depends on what pure going to ask me.” Cas said, his voice taking on an almost playful tone.

“Earlier on, you said you had ‘partners’ right? Was that just you being a gentleman or…” Dean trailed off when he saw the smirk on Cas’ face. Surprisingly, Cas leaned in closer until he was mere inches away from Dean.

“Maybe I am a gentleman who has happened to kiss men that aren't just you.” Cas said. Dean was fairly sure that his brain was going implode if Cas revealed anything else about his life. The orgy thing was definitely not in his file and neither was the ‘partners’ thing.

“So…”

“You can't just have an orgy full of women Dean, it's a terrible penis to vagina ratio.” Well that just about did it. Dean was convinced that there was nothing else Cas could say that would surprise him anymore. Also several thoughts were running through Dean’s head. Most of them dirty. “And with that, I am going to bed. Goodnight Dean.” Cas said, the smug look still on his face.

“Goodnight Cas.” Dean said, still in shock. Cas gave him one last smile before heading off to his room. Dean stood there in a daze for several minutes until he pulled himself together. As he was walking back to his trailer he felt the phone in his pocket buzz.

Charlie – I get the crush. Even if he is a guy, Cas is a dreamy dark horse.

Dean – I don't have a crush.

Charlie – Sure you don't. Hell, I'd say go for it but you know…he's the suitor.

Dean was about to reply when the phone in his hand buzzed. Not with another text from Charlie but from Josie. That was weird, normally she just yelled at him via their earpieces. She only text when she wanted to make sure no one else would know what they were talking about. Normally was about which intern she was going to fire next or the time her bikini wax gave her a rash. The latter still gave Dean nightmares. The photos she included that hadn't helped.

Josie – Try and get Castiel to act more like he did tonight on camera. I don't care how you do it. Actually, I do. Please don't fuck the suitor.