#then dick of course
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girlnero · 2 years ago
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i genuinely believe scott summers is the most passed around comic book character in all history. followed by peter parker and bruce wayne
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anyknotrants · 2 months ago
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-after Damian turned 16, at the family dinner-
Bruce: so... Damian, do you remember the Oreov girl you met at the gala last week?
Damian: *looks up* yes
Bruce: what do you think of her...?
Dick: *tries not to laugh*
Tim: *fails not to laugh*
Steph: *doesn't even try not to laugh*
Damian: she was... acceptable, if a bit annoying, why do you ask?
Tim: He's trying to set you up!
Batkids -Damian: *laughs*
Damian: *stares blankly*
Bruce: of course, you don't hav-
Damian: father, are you unaware that I'm in a committed relationship?
Duke, Tim and Dick: *choke on their food*
Steph: *chokes on her drink*
Cass: *smiles*
Batkids: WHAT?!
Bruce: ... I-....
Jason: *laughs so hard he almost falls from his chair* oh Jesus Christ! The world's best detectives at their finest!
Dick: you knew? And you didn't tell me?!
Jason: where the fuck do you think he went almost every fucking friday?
Bruce: *turns to Damian* I- I though you were having sleepover with Jon
Damian: I was.
Dick: but you just-
Batfam: *stops all their movememnt as they realize*
Jason: *actually falls from his chair laughing*
Bruce: JONATHAN SAMUEL KENT!
-over at the Kent farm, also having family dinner-
Jon, who heard Bruce shout his name: I feel like I'm going to get murdered by a bat in my sleep
Clark, who was also listening in: right after you explain why I had to find out you're dating Damian throught their family dinner
Jon: hehe... fuck
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bats-and-the-birds · 7 months ago
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Been thinking about a Batfam meets the Justice League situation where Nightwing has been in the League for a bit a no one knows how he's connected to Batman. And for one reason or another, the League grudgingly needs Deathstroke's help for a mission. And Deathstroke agrees to help, but specifies "no Bats".
And the Justice League assumes he just means "no Batman". So the bring Nightwing with them, and also do not tell him about this stipulation.
-the justice league approaches Deathstroke on a rooftop-
-Deathstroke immidiately turns to leave-
Green Arrow: Wait, I thought you agreed to help us!
Deathstroke: And I thought you agreed no Bats.
Flash: We did! We left Bats back at the Watchtower.
Deathstroke: No. No Bats. Plural. Not only did you disobey me, you brought the worst of the bunch.
Nightwing: Aw, and here I thought I was your favorite.
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littlefankingdom · 6 months ago
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Dick who climbed on anything as a child. Even in public, especially in public. The moment Bruce looks away, he is climbing something to get as high as possible. The first times, it gave Bruce an heart attack. Now, it's just a headache.
People pass by and ask if they should call the firefighters, and Bruce tiredly tell them "He is fine, he can get down on his own.", like people with cats.
Imagine, you're walking out of some building, only to see a 10 years old standing on top of a lamppost, having a discussion with his dad guardian at the bottom.
"Dick, get down."
"Make me."
"Get down or you're grounded."
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psychemochanight · 26 days ago
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Jason, looking at the photos Tim took years ago: Why is there a period of time where you stopped taking photos of Batman?
Jason, staring at the photos: Wait... Why is the period where I started being Robin the one with the least photos?
Tim, looking at the photos of the original Dynamic Duo: Huh? Ah, because it was the period when Dick left Gotham City.
Jason: You didn't care about Batman anymore because Dick wasn't there?
Tim, shrugging: I still cared about Batman, but with Dick gone, well...
Tim: No offense, but I kinda lost interest when you turned into Robin.
Jason:
Jason: Son of a...
They're brothers your honor :D
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headcanonthings · 2 months ago
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Tim: *dies* Stephanie: Timer starts now! When do you think he’ll be back? I say two months Damian: Bullshit. One month Dick: nah, half a month Bruce, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? TIM JUST DIED! Jason, scratching his chin in thought: One week
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princeoxca · 1 year ago
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game night pt. 2: the return of tim
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ghost-bxrd · 4 months ago
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Stuck on the thought that Bruce tried to be a father for Dick, but Dick didn’t want one. He wanted an equal, someone to fight crime with. And consequently, Bruce drove him away with his overbearing nature.
And then Jason came to him, and of course Bruce had to do better this time. He didn’t want to lose another child Robin. Only he realized too late that Jason didn’t just want to be Batman’s partner, he wanted to be Bruce’s son.
((And with Tim he was too scared to even try))
Kay thanks s’cuse me while I go cry in a corner goddammit
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obsessedwithstarwars · 6 months ago
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Jazz takes care of a de-aged Danny, and they lay low in Gotham. But just because Danny’s body is younger doesn’t mean his powers have lessened. In fact, they’ve only grown harder to control. Having the energy of a child makes containing his powers harder (just like when he first got them) until they realize that Danny’s powers are much easier to control when he can get rid of some of his excess energy. Jazz hears about a free gym open to all that is also meta-proof (more durable) from a wonderful woman at the library. (Lookin at you Babs)
The gym has a gigantic kids play area, along with classes for all ages and a training area complete with an American Gladiator style obstacle course for adults. Jazz will use the obstacle course sometimes when her boss has fully ticked her off. Stephanie and Cass volunteer there whenever they can. Jason always sends the alley kids there too because it’s close by and a safe place. Dick leads a class there whenever he can.
Dick actually holds the record for the obstacle course. Until Jazz gives it a go after a particularly trying day. She doesn’t realize there’s a record. She never would have used the course if she’d known. Training with Pandora and Fright Knight gave her plenty of advantages with how she can use her liminality and she definitely doesn’t need to stand out.
But again, she doesn’t know there’s a record. Or that someone saw her going repeatedly through the course (Stephanie) and decided to time her on her next go. (She doesn’t film without permission because she’s respectful of boundaries like that) She does post Jazz’s time in the Batfam group chat to take Dick down a couple notches though.
Or someone else (not Batfam, just a random citizen) takes a video of her doing the course and posts it on the internet and now they (Jazz and Danny) have to stay one step ahead of Vlad, the Batfam, their parents, and avoid the GIW. How hard can it be?
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months ago
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ghost horses
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GHORSES
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everwalldigan · 6 months ago
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Bruce is the type of person who crosses his arms, shakes his head in disappointment and goes: “In my TWENTY FIVE YEARS OF VIGILANTISM I have NEVER seen such astoundingly horrible behaviour” and then go on a two hour lecture
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anyknotrants · 2 months ago
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-breakfast in the Wayne kitchen-
Jason: *making scrambled eggs*
Dick: *eating his cereal*
Tim: *drinking his 5th cup of coffee*
Damian: *comes in in a too big tee, his hair a mess, and still half asleep*
Dick: morning sleepy head
Tim: *grunts in greeting*
Damian: 'morning...
Dick: *chuckles* well someone was up last night
Damian: *grunts* 'was doing homework *goes for the coffee pot*
Dick: *hums*
Jon: *comes in, somehow looking even more tired that Damian*
Jon: morning...
Jason, not even turning aroud: good morning, homework
Dick: *chokes on his food*
Damian: *blushes hard*
Jon: ??
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prlssprfctn · 1 day ago
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Bruce and Jason, who accidentally fix their relationship in a relative secret and distance from the rest of the family (Alfred excluded, of course), and decide to keep this fact as a secret from the rest of the family, just for fun. Because, let's be honest, Bruce is no less a brat than Jason is, he is just better at hiding it the older he gets.
Dick, sighing: Listen, I am about to invite Jason to this family dinner. And I don't care if you want it or not! And if you try to sabotage this day by your moral code lectures, I'll have a word with you! Bruce, indifferent, while messaging Jason at the same time: Mhm.
(On the other part of Manor) Tim: Honestly, I am not giving you a choice here. You will come to this dinner, Jason. Just... just ignore Bruce, alright? Jason, dramatically huffing, while liking Bruce's messages: Yeah, yeah, WHATEVER! Alfred: ...My circus. My monkey. I shall stay collected, nevertheless.
Damian: Father had been disappearing after patrols lately. I can't track him... What do we think is going on? Is he found himself a new child he plans to adopt soon? We can't get another sibling. Tim: Relax. He is probably into a new woman. Or a man. Whatever. Dick, worried: Guys, what if it is another villain or rogue? Jason, with whom Bruce spends time after patrol by munching fast food on the skirts of town: ...Lol Damian: That's not funny, Todd. Barbara, who knows everything: ...It is funny. Dick: Babs!
Tim: You know, Jason had been surprisingly chill lately. I knew he was doing better, but he stopped avoiding Manor that much. Bruce, arching his eyebrows: Alright? Tim: Do you think... maybe you two can finally talk? And fix your mess? Bruce, who just came to the cave after reading session with Jason, hiding his smile behind a sad face: I don't know, chump. It is complicated.
Dick, calling Jason randomly: Urgh, B is such a bitch! Jason, gasping: Right? Tell me about it! Bruce, sighing from his side of the couch as Jason puts The Crown show on his television: ...
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littlefankingdom · 3 months ago
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Bruce died(?) again
Jason: Well, it's my turn.
Dick: What are you talking about?
Jason: Everytime Bruce is gone, one of you starts to act just like him, pushing everyone away, acting as only you can be right, and fighting anyone that gets in your way. Dick did it, Tim did it, even Cass kind of did it. So, this time, I will do it.
Tim: Isn't that how you act all the time?
Jason: Whoa, fuck you. You are so banned from historical drama movie nights.
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laroserie · 8 months ago
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i love the idea of joining the batfam by dating bruce, but can you imagine how awkward it must be ?
like you are dating bruce, you most probably know he is batman (he couldn't date seriously someone and never tell them) which is like a huge thing, you probably knew each others for at least 5 years and dated for at least 2 before you even step foot in his house and even then ! you still have never meet any of his adopted kids, he always has a way of avoiding The meeting.
of course - you know who his kids are, bruce is ... literally the it guy of gotham, you very much know the names and faces of his family - but that's it (now if you know their vigilantes identities is different story)
the question is, are they aware of your existence ? (of course alfred is aware; that out of the question, he followed to development of yours and bruce relationship from a to z)
going more for a no, not at the start, bruce has this clumsy dumb bilionaire personality but he probably could not like for you to receive media attention because he doesn't wish for your privacy to be intruded upon because you are dating (now there may have been one instance where the paparazzi took a picture of you and him together, but they could only see you from the back, or your face wasn't visible for whatever reason). they probably learnt about your existence very late into your relationship with bruce, and it's surely by accident, like, one of them see a message from you to bruce (and it's something probably something very cheesy) when he left it somewhere by inadvertence. and depending on who see that, they either fully open bruce's phone (sorry but they all know his phone password, bruce isn't aware of that tho) and read your conversation or they find some others way to have access to his messages with you (that isn't so blatant).
they for sure, do an 'emergency' meeting about it (dick and damian were the two that really wanted to do one, the rest probably don't care that much at that time, they probably think you are just the fling of the month for bruce - well usually the fling of the month is not that ... cheesy with him ? in their messages, and the conversations aren't usually that long ... nor do they go back that much. but whatever ! they do suddenly notice that it's been a while, since, well the last fling of the month of bruce but, it must just be a coincidence) which end up with them keeping tabs on you, just in case
now, you meeting them could happen in two way
either they are the one to meet you first - they don't want to wait for bruce to formally introduce you to them - or them to you. the one that 'lead' this is for sure damian, he is determinate to find out your intention with his father (and fight you), dick will lie and say he is just there to make sure everything go 'well' but he is just genuinely very curious about you and the fact that you are dating bruce - this can go for most of them, tho cass and tim are probably the one that are the most reticent to meeting you ? but nevertheless, they still are here, because they for sure won't let damian and dick have all the 'fun'. now jason, is probably also coming for the shit and giggle.
or you meeting them could happen because of bruce - deciding that it's finally time you meet his kids, so he invite all of them to dinner telling them he was someone he wants them to meet, and telling you explicitly that he wants you to meet his family (and the people that are part of his family but aren't family family) - of course, he could talk about it with you first, he could never force you into that. the meet - dinner, probably do not go in the way bruce hoped for it to go (but truth be told, he wasn't expecting it to go the way he wished it did). it's not awful, nothing bad happen. it's just awkward. one of them (probably jason) let slip that they already knew about you - damian make it very clear that he doesn't accept you (and dick has to try to diffuse the situation and tell you that damian is just joking - damian is not joking and he gives a death glare to dick), tim probably do not say anything of half of the dinner before asking you a weird question about something he should have no information about (like what's up with one of your weird habit / quirk), cass is just silent - she assess you for the entirety of the dinner (she conclude by the end of it that you quite a nice person and that she likes you quite a bit), duke is very kind and is very polite with you (he is a bit apprehensive and isn't sure why he is there but he figures it's because bruce wanted to have at least one regular person treating you normally - dick is too ... enthusiastic for that role)
at the end of said dinner, when bruce is driving you home, it's probably the most silent ride home you have ever experienced. until you burst out laughing - the dinner was probably the funniest shit you experienced. it felt like it came straight out of a shitty tv show with 14 seasons. sure it was very much awkward but still funny ! you reassure bruce that it was fine, though you could have liked a warning.
and ... you can add a yandere twist on it, and i love yandere so ... . some of them (tim and cass and probably dick) could start developing yandere tendencies when they learn of your existence ( and keep 'tab on you' aka stalks you and learn everything they can about you ), the others (damian and jason + eventually steph and duke even though they are probably some of waaay lesser yandere-y yandere) could start becoming like that after they finally meet you in person. damian could be the one to take the most or less time to become attach on you, it depend, but he could go thru a big phase of 'i refuse for you to replace talia, my mother, therefor i will despite your entire existence' but if you try to get closer to him, this phase will end very soon and his barrier melt away, if you want to let him take his time to accept you, the result will be the same but damian will try to make up for the time he hated you.
and of course, yandere bruce could be so happy for you to like / get to know and get closer to his family, and that's one more way he can tie you to him !
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teaboot · 2 months ago
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do u think physical build is an important part of being security? im 5'5 and think i look very timid, but ive seen some entry level security job listings around me that ive been interested in.
I've only been private security for around five years, so I'm still relatively green compared to my colleagues, but I personally am about 5'3" and I've been doing great!
And again, I'm not incredibly experienced, but if I were to make a hire, I'd be prioritizing a number of things before considering height.
Physically you need to be capable of doing your duties without pain- so if you have chronic pain, foot patrol may not be your bag, but CCTV monitoring might work. If you can't drive, being a site manager may not work, but working door duty somewhere local might be.
Physical presence- in regards to 'looking timid'- is something that you can work on if you want to, but sometimes an unassuming appearance is your advantage.
A "problem demographic" (using HEAVY quotations there) for a lot of places like malls and downtown areas is adult women with trauma, addiction, and mental health issues- they're seen by a lot of clients as "crazy ladies" and treated less like people by the general public, and a good number have very good reason not to trust men ESPECIALLY in uniform, but are more often than not perfectly easy to get along with if you're polite, respectful, and don't come off as a threat or authority figure. Being able to offer menstrual products and having resources around the area you can recommend is good, too.
And if I HAVE to move people out from behind buildings and such, saying "fuck off asshole" like folks imagine is NOT as effective as "Hey, sorry, this area is restricted, but here are some other places that might be okay- I need to do another check in about an hour, so heads up, and the church up the street is doing hot chocolate right now".
Really, if you want to do well in security- at least basic work- I'd say you want to focus on the following:
Wear your uniform and keep it tidy
Show up prepared and on time
Be able to approach strangers and talk to them
Keep a positive, non-agressive attitude, and be willing to give people the benefit of the doubt
Learn deescalation techniques to diffuse conflict
Have a strong handle on your personal emotions and opinions
Kerp calm and rational in an emergency
Learn basic first aid and get certified if you can, it's not technically necessary but I've used that more than I'd like to admit
Keep a strong moral compass
Really, I'd say it boils down to keeping to your sense of ethics, showing up on time, and knowing how to follow orders with nuanced interpretation.
Beyond that, you're golden
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