#then dick of course
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i genuinely believe scott summers is the most passed around comic book character in all history. followed by peter parker and bruce wayne
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Been thinking about a Batfam meets the Justice League situation where Nightwing has been in the League for a bit a no one knows how he's connected to Batman. And for one reason or another, the League grudgingly needs Deathstroke's help for a mission. And Deathstroke agrees to help, but specifies "no Bats".
And the Justice League assumes he just means "no Batman". So the bring Nightwing with them, and also do not tell him about this stipulation.
-the justice league approaches Deathstroke on a rooftop-
-Deathstroke immidiately turns to leave-
Green Arrow: Wait, I thought you agreed to help us!
Deathstroke: And I thought you agreed no Bats.
Flash: We did! We left Bats back at the Watchtower.
Deathstroke: No. No Bats. Plural. Not only did you disobey me, you brought the worst of the bunch.
Nightwing: Aw, and here I thought I was your favorite.
#followed by general chaos and rioting from the league#of course#batman#comics#dc comics#dick grayson#nightwing#justice league#batfamily#deathstroke#slade wilson#the flash#green arrow
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Dick who climbed on anything as a child. Even in public, especially in public. The moment Bruce looks away, he is climbing something to get as high as possible. The first times, it gave Bruce an heart attack. Now, it's just a headache.
People pass by and ask if they should call the firefighters, and Bruce tiredly tell them "He is fine, he can get down on his own.", like people with cats.
Imagine, you're walking out of some building, only to see a 10 years old standing on top of a lamppost, having a discussion with his dad guardian at the bottom.
"Dick, get down."
"Make me."
"Get down or you're grounded."
#bruce wayne#dick grayson#batman#robin#dc comics#my ramblings#sometimes Bruce doesn't even know how Dick got where he is#he looked away for a second and now Dick is in the ceiling#of course Dick doesn’t get down because he knows the threat is empty Bruce is using his “tired dad” voice not his “disappointed dad” voice#really different for a Batkid you can still get away with a lot with the “tired dad”
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game night pt. 2: the return of tim
#wayne family adventures#batman#batfam#dick grayson#jason todd#alfred pennyworth#stephanie brown#duke thomas#cassandra cain#damian wayne#timothy wayne#meme#draw the squad meme#princeorcaart#the return of tim after a brutal defeat#of course it's a capatilistic hellscape game lmao#this was the true battle of the cowl hahaha#dick accidentally committed tax fraud and ended up in jail
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Stuck on the thought that Bruce tried to be a father for Dick, but Dick didn’t want one. He wanted an equal, someone to fight crime with. And consequently, Bruce drove him away with his overbearing nature.
And then Jason came to him, and of course Bruce had to do better this time. He didn’t want to lose another child Robin. Only he realized too late that Jason didn’t just want to be Batman’s partner, he wanted to be Bruce’s son.
((And with Tim he was too scared to even try))
Kay thanks s’cuse me while I go cry in a corner goddammit
#random thoughts#look I love the batfam#and I love Dick being the oldest and calling Bruce dad#but also he was an angry child that just lost the nicest family ever#of course he didn’t want a new dad#and Bruce misunderstood#because emotions are HARD#and then Dick was gone and he was panicking with Jason because ‘Ok I’m gonna do everything better this time around’#… only to have Ethiopia happen#urghhhh just—-#Batdad#Bruce#give me caring Bruce Wayne#give me a father who wants to follow his children everywhere because he can’t bear to lose more family#ghost talks#jason todd#batfamily#dick grayson#bruce wayne#batfam#Batman
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Jazz takes care of a de-aged Danny, and they lay low in Gotham. But just because Danny’s body is younger doesn’t mean his powers have lessened. In fact, they’ve only grown harder to control. Having the energy of a child makes containing his powers harder (just like when he first got them) until they realize that Danny’s powers are much easier to control when he can get rid of some of his excess energy. Jazz hears about a free gym open to all that is also meta-proof (more durable) from a wonderful woman at the library. (Lookin at you Babs)
The gym has a gigantic kids play area, along with classes for all ages and a training area complete with an American Gladiator style obstacle course for adults. Jazz will use the obstacle course sometimes when her boss has fully ticked her off. Stephanie and Cass volunteer there whenever they can. Jason always sends the alley kids there too because it’s close by and a safe place. Dick leads a class there whenever he can.
Dick actually holds the record for the obstacle course. Until Jazz gives it a go after a particularly trying day. She doesn’t realize there’s a record. She never would have used the course if she’d known. Training with Pandora and Fright Knight gave her plenty of advantages with how she can use her liminality and she definitely doesn’t need to stand out.
But again, she doesn’t know there’s a record. Or that someone saw her going repeatedly through the course (Stephanie) and decided to time her on her next go. (She doesn’t film without permission because she’s respectful of boundaries like that) She does post Jazz’s time in the Batfam group chat to take Dick down a couple notches though.
Or someone else (not Batfam, just a random citizen) takes a video of her doing the course and posts it on the internet and now they (Jazz and Danny) have to stay one step ahead of Vlad, the Batfam, their parents, and avoid the GIW. How hard can it be?
#danny phantom#dp x dc#dc x dp#dp x dc prompt#jazz fenton#dp x dc crossover#danny fenton#jasmine fenton#dc x dp au#anger management ship#hardcover ship#someone please yoink this#I love watching people do those courses#also a race between Jazz and Dick would be AMAZING#Jason might fall in love a bit#not because she beat Dick although that’s a plus#but because she beat up a couple of thugs#he was a civilian at the time and saw her defending her son and HAD to help#and she definitely accidentally punched Jason in the face#it was awesome#she apologized profusely#Danny laughed#and invited him over for dinner#Jazz reluctantly agreed it was the least she could do#Jason was touched until they tried to cook and almost burned down the kitchen#then he took over so they wouldn’t poison him#meanwhile Dick is having an existential crisis and is simultaneously super excited that one of his students beat him
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Bruce is the type of person who crosses his arms, shakes his head in disappointment and goes: “In my TWENTY FIVE YEARS OF VIGILANTISM I have NEVER seen such astoundingly horrible behaviour” and then go on a two hour lecture
#of course both his kids and the JL gets those lectures#although if dick is present they have a slightly less intimidating effect#because he WILL mouth the entire speech behind Bruce cause of how many times he’s had to sit through it#everyone is feeling the Disappointed Dad Effecf#dc comics#batman#batfam#dcu#batfamily#bruce wayne#dc robin#dick grayson#nightwing#justice league#incorrect dc quotes
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i love the idea of joining the batfam by dating bruce, but can you imagine how awkward it must be ?
like you are dating bruce, you most probably know he is batman (he couldn't date seriously someone and never tell them) which is like a huge thing, you probably knew each others for at least 5 years and dated for at least 2 before you even step foot in his house and even then ! you still have never meet any of his adopted kids, he always has a way of avoiding The meeting.
of course - you know who his kids are, bruce is ... literally the it guy of gotham, you very much know the names and faces of his family - but that's it (now if you know their vigilantes identities is different story)
the question is, are they aware of your existence ? (of course alfred is aware; that out of the question, he followed to development of yours and bruce relationship from a to z)
going more for a no, not at the start, bruce has this clumsy dumb bilionaire personality but he probably could not like for you to receive media attention because he doesn't wish for your privacy to be intruded upon because you are dating (now there may have been one instance where the paparazzi took a picture of you and him together, but they could only see you from the back, or your face wasn't visible for whatever reason). they probably learnt about your existence very late into your relationship with bruce, and it's surely by accident, like, one of them see a message from you to bruce (and it's something probably something very cheesy) when he left it somewhere by inadvertence. and depending on who see that, they either fully open bruce's phone (sorry but they all know his phone password, bruce isn't aware of that tho) and read your conversation or they find some others way to have access to his messages with you (that isn't so blatant).
they for sure, do an 'emergency' meeting about it (dick and damian were the two that really wanted to do one, the rest probably don't care that much at that time, they probably think you are just the fling of the month for bruce - well usually the fling of the month is not that ... cheesy with him ? in their messages, and the conversations aren't usually that long ... nor do they go back that much. but whatever ! they do suddenly notice that it's been a while, since, well the last fling of the month of bruce but, it must just be a coincidence) which end up with them keeping tabs on you, just in case
now, you meeting them could happen in two way
either they are the one to meet you first - they don't want to wait for bruce to formally introduce you to them - or them to you. the one that 'lead' this is for sure damian, he is determinate to find out your intention with his father (and fight you), dick will lie and say he is just there to make sure everything go 'well' but he is just genuinely very curious about you and the fact that you are dating bruce - this can go for most of them, tho cass and tim are probably the one that are the most reticent to meeting you ? but nevertheless, they still are here, because they for sure won't let damian and dick have all the 'fun'. now jason, is probably also coming for the shit and giggle.
or you meeting them could happen because of bruce - deciding that it's finally time you meet his kids, so he invite all of them to dinner telling them he was someone he wants them to meet, and telling you explicitly that he wants you to meet his family (and the people that are part of his family but aren't family family) - of course, he could talk about it with you first, he could never force you into that. the meet - dinner, probably do not go in the way bruce hoped for it to go (but truth be told, he wasn't expecting it to go the way he wished it did). it's not awful, nothing bad happen. it's just awkward. one of them (probably jason) let slip that they already knew about you - damian make it very clear that he doesn't accept you (and dick has to try to diffuse the situation and tell you that damian is just joking - damian is not joking and he gives a death glare to dick), tim probably do not say anything of half of the dinner before asking you a weird question about something he should have no information about (like what's up with one of your weird habit / quirk), cass is just silent - she assess you for the entirety of the dinner (she conclude by the end of it that you quite a nice person and that she likes you quite a bit), duke is very kind and is very polite with you (he is a bit apprehensive and isn't sure why he is there but he figures it's because bruce wanted to have at least one regular person treating you normally - dick is too ... enthusiastic for that role)
at the end of said dinner, when bruce is driving you home, it's probably the most silent ride home you have ever experienced. until you burst out laughing - the dinner was probably the funniest shit you experienced. it felt like it came straight out of a shitty tv show with 14 seasons. sure it was very much awkward but still funny ! you reassure bruce that it was fine, though you could have liked a warning.
and ... you can add a yandere twist on it, and i love yandere so ... . some of them (tim and cass and probably dick) could start developing yandere tendencies when they learn of your existence ( and keep 'tab on you' aka stalks you and learn everything they can about you ), the others (damian and jason + eventually steph and duke even though they are probably some of waaay lesser yandere-y yandere) could start becoming like that after they finally meet you in person. damian could be the one to take the most or less time to become attach on you, it depend, but he could go thru a big phase of 'i refuse for you to replace talia, my mother, therefor i will despite your entire existence' but if you try to get closer to him, this phase will end very soon and his barrier melt away, if you want to let him take his time to accept you, the result will be the same but damian will try to make up for the time he hated you.
and of course, yandere bruce could be so happy for you to like / get to know and get closer to his family, and that's one more way he can tie you to him !
#my brain broke half way thru writing this because i had too many ideas coming at once#(of course obligatory disclaimer that i have never read any batman comics - this is purely based off different dc cartoons + fanfic i've#read online and ofc the webcomic. of course this is very ligh hearted and the characters are very much not the tortured souls they are in#canon here !)#gender neutral reader#batfam x reader#dc x reader#bruce wayne x reader#jason todd x reader#dick grayson x reader#damian wayne x reader#damian al ghul x reader#tim drake x reader#cassandra cain x reader#duke thomas x reader#yandere x reader#yandere batfam#yandere dc#batfamily x reader#bruce x reader#batman x reader#yandere batman
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The Riddler: Riddle me thi- Is that a fcking kid.
Dick Grayson, a non-native English speaker: What does fcking mean?
The Riddler: Fck- I mean sht- I mean it's a grown up word, ask your dad about it
[A Few Years Later]
The Riddler: Riddle me th- Is that another fcking kid
Jason Todd, raised in Crime Alley his entire life: Who the hll you calling a fcking kid? I'll beat your *ss motherfcker, you and me right now.
The Riddler: Wow you are. Something.
[A Few Years After That]
The Riddler: Riddle me- Where the fck are you getting these children?
Tim Drake, raised in high society but also not raised at all: That's a naughty word sir.
The Riddler: At least you're polite
[A Few More Years Later]
The Riddler: Riddle m- WHY THE FCK DOES THIS ONE HAVE A SWORD!?
Damian Wayne, above silly things like Vulgar Language: I Was Expecting A Battle Of Wits, But You Appear To Be Unarmed.
The Riddler: WHY DOES HE TALK LIKE THAT???
#there is now Bonus Content in the reblogs#DC#Dick Grayson#Jason Todd#tim drake#Damian Wayne#edward nygma#Batfam#incorrect quotes#incorrect dc quotes#this all started with me and my friends going ''riddle me this- is that a fcking kid''#stop telling me to not censor it's a personal choice I've been here nearly ten years#anyway this is what I think they were like at the very beginning#they changed of course but it's very funny to think this#she speks#she speks originale
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got a message out of the blue about that 'why Batman doesn't kill' explanation I left on someone else's post like two years ago but it was just "wait is Alfred dead????" and I sort of forgot that most of tumblr Batfam fandom doesn't actually read comics and so largely has no idea that Bane killed Alfred back in 2019 and he's stayed dead since
#kinda tragic really because it's been excellent angst material for Damian Dick and Jason (and Bruce of course)#even if it's also led to some absolutely baffling writing decisions (tom taylor. I'm looking directly at you)#Alfred's now the second-longest lasting death in batfam history next to Jason lmao#alfred pennyworth#bruce wayne#batman#batfam#EDIT: IF I SNEAKILY CORRECTED MY DATES SO I ACTUALLY NOTED THE CORRECT YEAR CITY OF BANE WAS PUBLISHED IN (2019): no I didn't.
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Bruce died(?) again
Jason: Well, it's my turn.
Dick: What are you talking about?
Jason: Everytime Bruce is gone, one of you starts to act just like him, pushing everyone away, acting as only you can be right, and fighting anyone that gets in your way. Dick did it, Tim did it, even Cass kind of did it. So, this time, I will do it.
Tim: Isn't that how you act all the time?
Jason: Whoa, fuck you. You are so banned from historical drama movie nights.
#jason todd#dick grayson#tim drake#cassandra cain#batfam#bruce wayne#batman#dc comics#my ramblings#incorrect quotes#once again I made up this one#but like look at me and tell me that I'm wrong when Red Robin comics is rught there#Dick it's in Future State where he acts just like Bruce it's an au but like it's in character af for him#Cass ran away to Hong Kong so she kind of pushed them away and the second part she's always like this#Jason invites his siblings to his place to watch hustorical drama and criticizes the accuracy and if they are adapted from a book#how well of an adaptation they are#of course he is the one making most of the commentaries on the subject#is tim wrong? let's discuss
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ghost horses
GHORSES
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#ask#wei wuxian#a-yuan#What a post to have a-yuan make his PD-MDZS debut on!#You're so right...if WWX were to summon a horse it would be a ghorse (ghost horst).#If he gets to have a ghost girl posse then why not also let him have a stable of beautiful ghost horses?#Yiling Laozu rides into town with his haunted vegetables and ghostly steed and zombie vegetable seller.#Serving a look that they might call 'off-putting' and 'discomforting'. To the *weak*!#WWX probably would let A-yuan pet the Horsies but hear me out: this is for the funny punchline.#To be honest where he lies on the triangle of 'can we get mcdonkcles?' triangle really depends who's asking.#I think he leans more on the 'orders a black coffee for himself and leaves' but with a shit-eating grin for most people.#He seems like a goofy guy who'd love to eat Mack O'donnel in the middle of the night with his friends.#But WWX lives his life with the innate sense to be an agitator. He wouldn't miss the opportunity to pull a prank like that.#I think he'd only actually go to Mick Dick's if Yanli asked#Feel free to disagree of course! He has his layers!
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Batfams sin Batman are some of my ✨favorite✨ AUs.
Consider:
Talon!Dick gets assigned to Tim Drake (kid of an Owl family, the Drakes.) They are both very lonely and EXTREMELY undersocialized. They bond.
They eventually meet up with Resurrected!Jason, who has already lived and died (RIP) and is now back to take Gotham under his crime lord wing. It'd work better if tiny!Damian wasn't clinging to him, but eh. It'll do.
"If we work together, we could take down the court of owls...👀"
Red Hood now operates out of Drake manor. Rent is free and they don't lose out on warm water at random. It checks out.
Damian goes out at random because he's eight and a menace. On three separate occasions, he comes back with a cat, a dog, and Cassandra Cain
"Cain is LIKE a dog." "A girl is not a dog, Damian."
"Sometimes they are." "DAMIAN."
Jason comes home one day with Duke. No one questions it. He's just lumped into the cloud of brothers/sister/sibling thing they currently have going on and he gets sorely needed sandwiches
The destruction of the court of owls ensues—badly, because everyone is under the age of 25, and poorly fed to boot—
and then culminates in Batman opening an unusually loud sewer grate, and finding a) a dead child he failed to save, b) his dead son, c) the neighbor, d) TWO child assassins, and, 5) Duke Thomas, arguing at the top of their lungs about how to attack a highly sought after and popular local politician.
Batman looks at the Robins(es).
The Robins(es) look at Batman.
...Everyone immediately books it in a different direction lol
#everyone joins the batfam weirdly lol#Imagine opening a sewer grate and inside are all your future kids#and you're dressed up as a bat#and they're trying to blow up the local government because...?#wait does this make the Robins a domestic terrorist group? Imagine a terrorist group that can all resoundingly go to Juvie#Jason: I'M NOT GOING TO JAIL!!!#Bruce: ...? Of course not. You're seventeen#Jason: ...#Jason: FUCK#dc#talon!Dick grayson#court of owls
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I am a firm believer of the fact that that all the teen superheros had a crush on Nightwing at one point and he is just completely oblivious to this fact.
Dick: Hi guys, Batman let me to give you guys a training session, because Robin mentioned you all wanted to learn how to do a backflip!
All the teens staring at Dick's abs and thighs with red faces: Oh, cool..!
Tim: OH MY GOD YOU'RE ALL DISGUSTING!
Dick: Robin! Don't insult your friends, they didn't even do anything!
Kon, shuffling to the side to peer at Dick's ass: Yeah Rob, we didn't do anything.
Tim, seething: I CANNOT WITH YOU PEOPLE!
#of course Dick's superhero team all had crushes on him too#but he ended up sleeping with most of them so its not as funny#dc comics#dc universe#batman comics#tim drake#dick grayson#young justice#teen titans#headcanon
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I don't wanna further hijack that poor poll, but the thing about Harrow's schizophrenia is that it's canon. The author has confirmed it, and shared that it's based on her own experience.
It's a pretty obscure bit of canon, so of course there's no shame in not already knowing, but that's why I'm so obnoxiously persistent about letting people know.
Whatever else is up with Harrow, autism or cptsd or any number of likely headcanons, she is also schizophrenic. I feel like that's too important to be handwaved away as a difference of opinion.
#like of course not everyone knows I'm not the kind of asshole who gets mad about someone not having heard about an unrecorded con panel#not knowing is one thing#erasing or ignoring that aspect of her is something completely different#like yeah she's incredibly relateable in that way#and I know how comforting it can be to project your own dx onto someone and go 'wow shes just like me fr'#but I really feel like doing that re: Harrow's schizophrenia is a huge lost opportunity for growth#and I hate that the takeaway for so many people is 'Harrow is autistic'#and not 'oh cool didn't know autism and schizophrenia had so much overlap in experience'#relate to psychotic people without flinching challenge#anyway. tl;dr:#if you didn't already know then I have the coolest new fun fact about Harrow to share with you!!#if you do already know but have elicted to ignore it then a little bit fuck you actually#but I will ALWAYS assume someone didn't know before assuming they're being a dick#the locked tomb#harrow nonagesimus#harrowhark nonagesimus#harrow the ninth
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Immortal Nanny
Bruce Wayne had never been a father. He knew what it was like to be a good father, and he knew what good fathers should be like, but adopting Richard was an impulse, a moment when he decided to give a child the comfort he needed, as he himself had needed in the past.
But just because he knew and understood didn't mean he could do it, or that he could become a good father instantly. Alfred would be a great help, of course, but it was he who had to raise the boy, Alfie was too old to start raising another child.
So, it was only natural that he forgot all about his busy life as "Brucie Wayne", adopting Dick hadn't stopped the million interviews or meetings, and while Alfred was extremely capable, Bruce still decided to hire a nanny.
Daniel Nightingale was a bit of an outsider (in a good way), he was studying at Gotham U, and was doing very well in his chosen career; though his records were strangely empty, Bruce knew he could trust him. His tired look and the shy smile he gave him upon arriving at the mansion was enough to calm his concerns.
Perhaps it was because he was just starting out as Batman at the time that he didn't investigate further.
Anyway, Dick loved Danny, from that first day, he used to tell Bruce about his "adventures" and how much fun he had. On one occasion he even told him they had a snowball fight (which confused him, because it was July but he was too tired to question the excited kid).
So, Danny became Dick's, and later Jason's, official nanny. He never complained and always smiled. The boy got along quite well with Alfred and would attend to any emergency, although he was never involved in the vigilante business.
It was only after Jason's death, when Tim arrived, that someone began to question Danny. Tim wasn't sure about Danny, there were a lot of things...that just didn't fit, and if the old photos of the mansion were any indication, the nanny wasn't getting any older.
Dick wasn't ten anymore and that was pretty obvious, but Danny looked exactly the same. Tim frowned, puzzled as to how no one had investigated such an oddity before. Alfred simply looked at him with an amused smile. He wondered how long it would take for the family to notice the (rather obvious) secrets of the elusive nanny.
Alfred couldn't blame the boy, the easiest way to hide something was in plain sight. And he knew the halfa would never hurt his family.
#dpxdc#Babysitter Danny#He took care of the Robins when Bruce was busy#Bruce trust in Alfred of course#but he also wanted to give the butler a break#immortal danny#Danny never hid his powers he just didn't use them very often#Of course Alfred knows#he dealt with it from day one#Danny just wanted a job and he took a liking to the Robins at the end#dp x dc#dc x dp#Dick knows Danny isn't normal from his childhood memories#but he's not a snitch#Jason knows it too and is excited to have a secret with Danny#Tim is simply too smart to leave a loose end#Bruce trusts Danny but he hasn't questioned him in years#Maybe is because the one who knows Danny is Bruce Wayne and not Batman#Danny is taking care of Jason's soul in the Realms#at the end of the day he is still his nanny#he will find out when he revives
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