#the suicide ment is not current

[clowniconography]

its so wild to me how people on here will pretend like the internet of the past was actually fr safer for children than it is now instead of being exactly as bad just in different ways. as if children having to coach grown adults through their suicidal ideation hasn't been a stereotype of forum culture on here for years

[antisatiric]

if i had a nickel for every time twain (guy who tried to kill himself in a river related way) dated a guy who tried to kill himself in a river related way. i would have 2 nickels. which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened twice

[nomaishuttle]

sibling meetjng looking at eachither So what are we some kind of suicide squad

[badnikbreaker]

@lowhowl​ : ( spotify wrapped ) 88 !     /      PEACESIGN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - black dresses     /    accepting.

“You can try an’ kill me, but we both know you don’t got the guts — and you got your little wisp buddies back, anyway.”  Surge isn’t capable of kindness / isn’t capable of gentleness / is only capable of this sort of ugly cruelty.  WOULD YOU BELIEVE THIS IS HOW SHE EMPATHIZES?  “Or maybe you can kill me — we both know the world’d be better off without PEOPLE LIKE US in it.”

She’s like me / violent, cruel, outsider, made of pain and nothing else.  No hope, no real future, and just smoking ash for a past.  AND PEOPLE LIKE THAT DON’T BELONG IN A BEAUTIFUL, PEACEFUL WORLD, DO THEY?

Would you believe this is how she empathizes?  “Weapons like us don’t belong in the good future your new friends are trying to build.  If you kill me, you better kill yourself, too.”

[halfelven]

oh wait i think electrocuting myself is working

[trans-leek-cookie]

STOP sexualizing ABUSE and START sexualizing SUICIDE!!!!!!

[purpleyoonn]

Stop encouraging hara&ment against other people, every day someone extermine themselves due to waves of virtual hara&ment. What she did was wrong, OBVIOUS, but you yk how the fandom are

Isn't it enough that there are countless wars happening around the world and innocent people dy!ng for nothing??

I'm tired of being part of a fandom that spreads hate normally and then continues the day like "now it'ts ok, one less here". I'm telling you, If another person d!e& again because of something futile, her bl00d will also be in your hands Mari

Never forget that.

okay wow you took that to the extreme.

no where in that post did i actively encourage harassment to the girl who sexually assaulted jin. i said that i wasn't surprised she was getting any form of harassment and shouldn't be surprised or upset about it. if it was any other person would you also defend them in the name of someone having it worse in the world?

yes, i did write "count your days" in that post. but if you follow me and actually read any of my posts, i was being dramatically sarcastic as is normal with my posts. i do have some problems with tone as i am autistic so i can see where i might have problems with that or come across to new followers as being serious.

but also, to equate this situation with the war in palestine and the current genocide occurring against palestinian people is in no way related to this situation and completely invalidates so many peoples experiences with assault on all forms. any negative experience anyone could have is instantly invalidated by the bringing up of current wars or innocent people dying.

i was sexually assaulted the first time at 12 yrs old and literally thought my entire world was over. i spent almost a week in a psychiatric unit because i tried committing suicide.

yes, my experience is more that just getting an unexpected and unwarranted kiss on the neck, but for you to say what you did is taking my post to the extreme.

invalidating anyone's experiences is wrong just because "someone has it worse".

i don't condone assault in any form and while i wish this incident didn't happen in the first place, especially at an event jin fought so hard to have, actions like this have consequences (pls don't send any hate to the girl) and i don't know the girl but if this was planned or even if this wasn't planned, she should have known the reaction army would have when kissing his neck at an event that jin did to be able to see army again after 18 months.

[creepling]

NO MORE MR NIETZCHE - CHAPTER TWO

. . . the fic series

summary: dwayne can't get the fluffy moment with reader out of his mind, so he asks uncle frank for advice.

pairing: dwayne hoover x gn!reader

word count: 1.4K

cw: self-depricating ment of suicide, frank being a cringey supportive uncle

Dwayne knew not to dwindle on the simple things.

He was currently starting his summer homework, leaving it very last minute. School starts back in a week, and Dwayne pondered what the next few months will have in store—junior year, having to take his grades seriously. He’ll be turning sixteen halfway through the first semester. Then, there was homecoming. The goddamn homecoming.

It is accurate to say that Dwayne was not the most spirited student. He hated the celebrations, the pressure of finding a date for the abundance of pointless dances. In fact, throughout his time in high school, Dwayne had not attended one dance.

He was overthinking the simple things. The feeling of your hand lingered from yesterday; he could still feel your warmth in his palms. Your smile circulated in his mind. Your presence remained in his orbit. It embarrassed him. You were constantly on his mind since you reunited after the road trip. The image of you was different. If Dwayne could admit to such passion, he would confess that the thought of you made him smile. Butterflies in his stomach. All the romantic emotions made him cringe.

On occasion, you attended the high school dances, tending to go with classmates with whom you were close. You weren’t particularly friends with them. You just went because Dwayne would instead be caught dead than go to a dance. Dwayne remembers the time you showed up at his window after a dance. He let you in after being awakened by the faint knocks on the glass panel, taking your hand and letting you stumble onto his bed. Your casual-formal attire ruffled from the night’s antics. A fluster on your cheeks from the fresh air and dancing. Your worn-out sneakers contrasted with your clothing. The stupidest grin on your face when you narrated what happened at the dance, how you wished he was there, that he should give it a chance just once before they graduate. And Dwayne sat there quiet, dazed from his slumber, the only thing on his mind being that you look even more attractive in clothes you don’t wear daily. It was the first time he was conscious of his feelings for you – and his first attempt to hide them.

He abruptly closed his textbook and retreated from his desk, pacing the room. The sudden change in mindset was driving Dwayne into confusion, he thought about you a lot, but now the thoughts were . . . passionate. The difference was not something Dwayne could adjust to immediately, causing him to react abruptly. He ran a hand through his hair, letting out a stressed sigh. The noticeable stress in his body language caused Frank, lying on the bed cot, and reading one of Dwayne’s books, to lift his gaze and observe the troubled teen.

“Stressed out?” Frank muttered, dog-tagging his page and closing the book.

Since Dwayne began to talk again, most conversations were with his uncle Frank. He was still advised not to be left alone by his doctor. Dwayne grew used to his company and even found him amusing to talk to. He was intellectual and shared a lot of his wisdom with him. Their conversations never failed to enlighten him.

“Okay, I know you said I should favour my high school days and let the misery shape me into a better person. But God, I don’t want to go back. I can’t stand it,” Dwayne confessed.

Frank looked at him contently. He had a feeling he would have to continue this conversation. He sat on the bed cot, resting his elbows on his knees, ready to listen to Dwayne.

“Is it the educational side of school you’re worried about – or the social side?” Frank refined.

Dwayne took a while to answer as he got himself comfortable on his bed, tucking his legs up to his chest. “It’s the social side, mostly.”

Frank clasped his hands together and let out a sigh. “Ah yes – The first day back. Being thrust into the deep end, homework, bullies, and then the dreadful homecoming. I hated it too.”

Frank was not the best at advice, so he thought he was. A forty-odd man had to rake through his brain to remember the pains of high school. He could say, having trouble talking to your crush? Try being a gay kid in the eighties. At least you’re the smartest kid in English class. You can bury your mind in poetry and let your emotions consume you. Then you’ll hit your mid-age and try to take your own life. Welcome to the real world, kiddo!

As Dwayne sat in silence, it gave Frank a moment to realise something. He remembered the first time he saw his nephew since he was a kid, when he was still voluntarily mute, admitting that he had no friends.

I Hate Everyone, the note read.

Yet, just yesterday, a supposed friend was in the house. As Olive dragged them to Dwayne’s room, Sheryl smiled and assured, “They’ve been friends with Dwayne since we moved here. Such a great kid.”

“What about your friend?” Frank came back from his thoughts.

Dwayne frowned, “What about them?”

“Well, I couldn’t help but remember saying you had no friends,” Frank responded.

Dwayne scoffed, “They’re my only friend.”

“Still better than none,” Frank shrugged, “They must make school a little more bearable?”

Dwayne nodded. You did make things bearable. When he met you on his front lawn, a small boy playing with his toy jets saw you approach confidently, already offering him to play with your toys. To the present, leaving him notes in his locker, eating lunch on the bleachers, and bike-riding through the suburbs.

“One day, I will live in one of these houses and live the alcoholic, soccer mum lifestyle I have always dreamed of.” That was what you would say during the bike rides. Your sarcasm amused him, even if your statement had a tint of fearful anticipation as if that was how you saw your life play out. If you stayed in each other’s lives, both of you figured you wouldn’t end up like your parents. You could live the life you dreamed of. Now that his test pilot dreams were behind him, a life spent with you felt possible. What will that consist of? Platonically like it has always been. Romantically . . . Dwayne’s new-found attraction to you could make or break the outcome.

“You think I should go to the Homecoming dance?” Dwayne asked Frank, breaking the thoughtful silence. His out-of-the-blew question took him back, causing his eyes to divert to his CD rack.

Frank frowned but pondered on the question. He asked it as if he had not gone before, which was not surprising. Frank could not remember if he attended his homecoming dances. The safe answer would be a firm no.

“Do you want to go to the Homecoming dance?” Frank asked, expecting some form of elaboration.

Dwayne shrugged again, struggling with a response. “Only if I go with a . . . certain person.”

Frank could not help but smile. Witnessing someone experience an emotion for the first time is an amusing sight. Especially when your nephew says he has a crush on someone, Dwayne did not say it explicitly, but Frank could read his body language like a book.

“Who’s the lucky person?” Frank asked, trying to contain his smile from turning into a grin.

Dwayne was suddenly flustered. He looked away as if he was done with the conversation, but Frank continued.

“C’mon, I’m not teasing! You’re lucky you’re telling me this. Imagine if you told your mom or Richard. That would be even more embarrassing.”

Dwayne knew there was truth to Frank’s words, as all his words are. Still, the blush on his face grew rampant, and he bit the inside of his cheek to contain it. Frank saw it immediately.

“I bet it’s your friend, right? I don’t blame you. They seem cool,” Frank said, the word cool feeling foreign to his middle-aged demeanour. Dwayne’s non-vocal but flustered response made Frank clear that he was right.

“Look, it’s not the end of the world if you ask them. Remember what you said to me on the pier? Do what you love, and fuck the rest. If asking your friend to homecoming is something you’ll love, you must do it. Simple as that.”

It was at that moment that Dwayne nodded his head. He looked to Frank, hearing the echo of his newfound philosophy, and agreed. As a surge of confidence came through him, he released a nervous sigh. Dwayne knew that it would be the most significant risk he would ever take if he asked you to homecoming. And he was ready to take it.

[homo-house]

hi!

this is my personal blog & I post about whatever here. I have an art blog @mister-sol but I decided to not post my house md sketches there so they go here instead

there are some constants to what I post such as house md, good omens, franz kafka, hannibal, jayvik. I’m really into sad gruesome and problematic shit like cannibalism (as a concept). I also occasionally post sketches and pictures I take here. I have strong (political/philosophical) beliefs and opinions (again idc about fandom drama) so I can be annoying but I don't try to be mean.

I am ND, forgetful, very anxious, and don’t do very well with social interactions so pls forgive me if I don’t reply to asks/dms quickly or at all, it’s hard sometimes and 100% nothing personal.

Important: I like insects and some animals that a lot of people dislike, but I always tag them, so if they give u the ick just mute the tags. I only ask that u tag images of syringes as I have a phobia.

Feel free to request that i tag CW anything else that upsets you in some way and is not listed here

Funky animals I like

centipedes

cockroaches

rats

bats

snakes

frogs

Media/ships (no particular order)

Good Omens/aziracrow

House M.D./hilson

Hannibal/hannigram

Doctor Who/tenrose

Cobra Kai/lawrusso

Looney Tunes/baffy

South Park/creek

A Little Life

The Mentalist/jisbon

Homestuck (RARELY I swear)

League of Legends/vikjayce

Other stuff probably

Sensitive topics are tagged appropriately but i'm still figuring these out

suicide ment

death ment

SH ment

current politics (from anywhere)

war ment

cw transphobia

cw racism

queer discourse

gore

Types of media

video, gifs

[unlawfulbread5]

Current head image

A suicidal woman is about to end her life by jumping off a building but is interrupted by a surfer dude and he says

"yo bro you about to end your life dawg?"

"yes and don't try to stop me my life is a mess and Its better off if I'm gone"

"bro I understand, I was suicidal too but then I thought about potatos."

"what?"

"you know like the small brown lumpy things"

"I know what a potato is what meant was ... Never mind good bye"

"oh I get it, i ment like look at a potato like it can be in so many forms dude, like french fries or potato salad, Croquettes, wedges, like if a potato can change I can too you know I'm not worse than a potato dawg"

"huh"

And the woman backs down from the ledge and her and the surfer go get burgers.

[xxinsertuserherexx]

cw: suicidal ideation, psych ward ment., involuntary admission

did i even tell youse guys about how i got put in baby jail (the psych ward) in the first place 

i was thinking about sewer slide constantly for 2 weeks straight but felt okay on friday (9/16). i wasn’t sure if the okay feeling was going to stick around though.

i tell my therapist this in confidence

she, per policy, calls my psychiatrist in

my psychiatrist "evaluates" me (spent less than a minute asking me leading questions; literally asked “you’re suicidal, yes?”)

she leaves and come back in about a minute with a pink slip (involuntary admission slip)

she gives me 2 digshit options 1) call my parents and have them take me to the er or 2) get taken to the er via a 911 call

i don't want to go at all. no one cares what i want.

psychiatrist calls 911 and 2 police officers show up to take me to the hospital.

i sob uncontrollably

i'm taken in the back of the police car to the emergency room, where the doctor sees i'm pinked and only asks me leading questions

i answer that i'm fine, but because they see i'm pinked and that my psychiatrist wrote that i currently have poor insight and judgement, they admit me to Baby Jail

btw i found out yesterday that an ambulance was supposed to show up, not the police, and both me and my therapist are pissed about this info

[infiniteseriesofhalfways]

Sometimes I need to get thoughts out of my brain you know?

(this is literally just me talking about knitting for awhile and then strangely, AH and my mental health tbh)

I wrote a knitting pattern that should be going up for sale this week (I hope??) and it's so wild to me bc I really only started knitting about a year ago? Like October of 2019. I'd tried multiple times ever since I learned to crochet when I was like 10, but just always struggled and hated it until one day it just... Clicked? And now I wrote a real pattern that I'm immensely proud of and I love and genuinely think is good?

I finished one and so did my mom, and we both have multiple other colorways in the works and it's because we've both had such a good time making it. I really do think it's beautiful as a pattern and I know the shawls people could make would be astounding. And I don't mean it in a 'look what a great pattern I made, what I'VE created is so wonderful' or egotistical or whatever way, I just... Genuinely love it.

The wildest part is that is started bc I was just... Fucking around with colors I liked. There was so much shit happening in October and I could not shut any part of my brain off enough with anything else, and I was so stressed and in such a bad place, so I just fucked around and made something that might give me comfort. The idea that this could be the Start Of Something because of that blows my mind.

And I'm mostly kidding here but I'm also terrified someone is going to say something about my color choice for the original and I'm going to have to admit that I 105% made it in Rimmy Tim colors bc they were the only thing I could stand to look at at the time. How do I begin to explain that to some woman on ravelry??

Anyway here's pics of part of it

Bc the actual pattern isn't out yet but I assure you there are more purple/orange bits and much less yellow as it goes on. But like... I made this! I did something! And it was completely born out of anxiety and my dear love for Jeremy's ridiculous color scheme. Which is fuckin hilarious and also part of why I love it so much.

I don't know my point here, but it's just... The world is fuckin weird sometimes. The things that inspire us. The things that turn into bigger things way beyond our imagination. Like if I hadn't stumbled upon a rage quit video 7 or 8 years ago I never would have made this. Because I wouldn't have gotten into AH, wouldn't have seen Jeremy's content, wouldn't have such a dear love for this color scheme, wouldn't have been in the kind of shit place I was in October for some of the reasons I was, wouldn't have turned to knitting to help ease the anxiety I had, wouldn't have made this thing.

Which is not even to mention all of the other parts of my life that would be different, like if I hadn't stayed on tumblr primarily bc of the AH fandom, I never would have connected with some of the wonderful folks I have, my writing would be either in a completely different place or non existent (which rn... lmao) my sense of humor might be wildly different to what it is and I might not have connected with my best friend the way that I have. He introduced me to bands that have forever shaped the way I listen to music. I went to my first concert bc of him. Would we have the relationship we have if the way I joked wasn't shaped by AH? Like the list goes on.

Honestly who would I be today if I had never heard Michael yell "swiss fucking cheese" and immediately watched other stuff he had done? Again, not even to get into what effect it's had on my mental health like... There were points where my only reason for not killing myself was so I could at least see whatever video was coming up. Which is ridiculous in a lot of ways but also even if it's something small hold on to it you know? And I'm so fucking grateful for that. It helped get me far enough to my childhood best friend coming back into my life one particular night when it wasn't enough, which is some timing I'll forever wonder about.

I just... Who would I be? Would I be at all? Shit, would I be a wildly more successful version of me instead? I don't know. I think I'm happy though, where I am. Happier than I used to be, at least. I think that counts for something. I'm not where I want to be but at least I'm not where I used to be, etc.

Anyway I really went on and on didn't I? This started as me wanting to make a joke about my first shawl pattern being Rimmy Tim colors, and then I just started thinking things. The world is weird. Life is weird. I am honestly glad to still be here though. And I think that's good.

[chocochipclaire]

if anyone wants to see a physical representation of the absurd ways my brain tries to rationalize all the little fictional dudes who make my brain spin like a hamster wheel

[annabelle--cane]

truly what goes through the heads of anyone who decides to play logic's "1-800" over speakers at any type of event

[gummishark]

when U join a sjw discord and they tell u to list your twiggers which is already vulnerable and then they dont even tag it. like why dont i just kill myself in front of you

[ramthews-moved]

you had an ex get mad at you for talking to your friends about charas ? when was this ? 😭

PLEASEE I DID!!!!! SHED GET SO FUCKING PISSED PFF SHED THREATEN TO UNALIVE WHEN I DID. SHE HATED ME TALKINGNTO OTHER PEOPLE SO MUCH. I don’t remember when it happened because it was. Traumatizing. And I have most of it blocked out but the online name she went by was zazu like the bird from lion king which I didn’t realize until my current gf told me about it but HOOH it was so bad!!!!!! She would threaten to k/ill herself if I ever left her dude. it was bad

Edit: OKAY OKAY THIS HAPPENED IN 2017ISH????? And I don’t watch BNHA but her discord icon and name is that toga chick and I feel like that’s smth to raise an eyebrow at