#the suicide ment is not current

[badnikbreaker]

@fortruechaos : you gotta be better than this if you're gonna play the hero. (for surge) / accepting!

Suspended in strange green liquid / strapped to an operating table so that someone who thinks of you as a machine and not a person can pick you apart / built or rebuilt to be a weapon. Everything Surge learns about Shadow pisses her off. She's not just an echo of Sonic, she's an echo of this fucker. A copy of a copy of a copy. The methodology wasn't even new. Nothing, absolutely fucking nothing, about her gets to be hers, and worse, that lack of selfhood isn't even unique. It makes her want to cry if she thinks about it too long, the little girl Starline killed screaming in her guts, throwing a tantrum. IT'S NOT FAIR.

It's not fair, Surge thinks as she leaps back and barely avoids a strike from Shadow. It's not fucking fair. She's not even doing anything wrong this time. Hell, she and Kit have been HELPING PEOPLE! Not as gracefully as Sonic, sure, with a little extra collateral — but they're still SAVING LIVES. And this motherfucker has the gall to say she still doesn't get to be hero. STILL DOESN'T GET TO BE ANYTHING BUT THE VILLAIN TO THRASH. When he tries to destroy the world, that's fucking fine, whatever, water under the bridge. She's the only one that deserves to die for that sin.

starline in her head, you're too weak and pathetic to be anything but a target. starline, his hands on her shoulders, almost affectionate, cloying, they'll always want to break you, just like i did. being broken is what you're for.

She blocks a punch and disappears in a high arc of lightning when Shadow appears behind her back; his kick misses her skull. "Will you SHUT THE FUCK UP!" She's not even sure which of them she's talking to/screaming at/her heart breaks and breaks and breaks, the child - corpse wailing. SHE'S DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT. AND IT'S STILL NOT ENOUGH! NOTHING WILL EVER BE ENOUGH FOR THE WORLD THAT WANTS TO HURT HER! When he's at her again, she manages to catch the strike he aims at her and, metal insides whining, toss him into the nearest cliffside.

"Yer all so — ANNOYING." He's just like her and he still wants her broken and opened up and either dead or changed, and changed is worse. Starline's laugh echoes, but at least his body disappears back into her skull. She wants to throw up. "I was fucking SAVING PEOPLE, in case you didn't notice! Fucking hypocrites! Find yer own way, do what y'want, HELP PEOPLE — then when we start actually doin' that, it's still not enough!" Her teeth bare. Nothing about her is unique. She's a character that's been done to fucking death, and now the other other - her wants to hurt her just as much as the first mirror does. She's never been able to beat Sonic, but she bets she could kill Shadow if she was willing to fry herself, too. "Guess there's only room for one living weapon turned anti - hero, huh? Is that the fuckin' problem?"

[rejoiceandcomplain]

microdosing on suicidal ideation by listening to lonely by palaye royale and go home by julien baker back to back

[clowniconography]

its so wild to me how people on here will pretend like the internet of the past was actually fr safer for children than it is now instead of being exactly as bad just in different ways. as if children having to coach grown adults through their suicidal ideation hasn't been a stereotype of forum culture on here for years

[antisatiric]

if i had a nickel for every time twain (guy who tried to kill himself in a river related way) dated a guy who tried to kill himself in a river related way. i would have 2 nickels. which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened twice

[nomaishuttle]

sibling meetjng looking at eachither So what are we some kind of suicide squad

[trans-leek-cookie]

STOP sexualizing ABUSE and START sexualizing SUICIDE!!!!!!

[evilkitten3]

@the-real-sasuke-uchiha that's fair!

my theory is that one day after passing on the hat he walked into the forest of death and didn't come back out again (that's why it got that name) and no one ever really knew the specifics. if it was too wildly pathetic there'd be stories no matter how hard people tried to suppress it. i think he died alone in the woods talking to what may or may not have been a hallucination of the best friend he killed

it's interesting to experiment with ideas about how hashirama actually died but imo the way hashirama tells his story in volume 65 says so much more about who he was at the end of his life than anything canon could've shown us. i think leaving it up in the air was the right call

[purpleyoonn]

Stop encouraging hara&ment against other people, every day someone extermine themselves due to waves of virtual hara&ment. What she did was wrong, OBVIOUS, but you yk how the fandom are

Isn't it enough that there are countless wars happening around the world and innocent people dy!ng for nothing??

I'm tired of being part of a fandom that spreads hate normally and then continues the day like "now it'ts ok, one less here". I'm telling you, If another person d!e& again because of something futile, her bl00d will also be in your hands Mari

Never forget that.

okay wow you took that to the extreme.

no where in that post did i actively encourage harassment to the girl who sexually assaulted jin. i said that i wasn't surprised she was getting any form of harassment and shouldn't be surprised or upset about it. if it was any other person would you also defend them in the name of someone having it worse in the world?

yes, i did write "count your days" in that post. but if you follow me and actually read any of my posts, i was being dramatically sarcastic as is normal with my posts. i do have some problems with tone as i am autistic so i can see where i might have problems with that or come across to new followers as being serious.

but also, to equate this situation with the war in palestine and the current genocide occurring against palestinian people is in no way related to this situation and completely invalidates so many peoples experiences with assault on all forms. any negative experience anyone could have is instantly invalidated by the bringing up of current wars or innocent people dying.

i was sexually assaulted the first time at 12 yrs old and literally thought my entire world was over. i spent almost a week in a psychiatric unit because i tried committing suicide.

yes, my experience is more that just getting an unexpected and unwarranted kiss on the neck, but for you to say what you did is taking my post to the extreme.

invalidating anyone's experiences is wrong just because "someone has it worse".

i don't condone assault in any form and while i wish this incident didn't happen in the first place, especially at an event jin fought so hard to have, actions like this have consequences (pls don't send any hate to the girl) and i don't know the girl but if this was planned or even if this wasn't planned, she should have known the reaction army would have when kissing his neck at an event that jin did to be able to see army again after 18 months.

[aspdzai]

🩹　　DAZAI OSAMU / 太宰 治

hello !! it’s dazai , your favorite suicidal pretty boy ! i’m here to make friends if possible :3

i’m autistic so tonetags are pretty helpful ! i may also come off as uncaring at times , this is because i have low empathy / sympathy / compassion ( i am aware they aren’t the same , i’m generalizing )

i have no dni !! anyone can int. as long as they are interacting with good faith !

— she / her , he / him , it / its

— bisexual with a pref. for men

— radqueer leaning

　　　　　pro - transid

　　　　　pro - choice recovery

— source connected

　　　　　sourcemates please int. !

　　　　　bsd fans please int. !

ℹ️　　MORE INFO :

plural ( pro - endo , anti - syscourse )

religious ( in - sys religion )

disordered and disabled ( phys. and ment. )

punk ( pluralpunk , genicpunk , contrapunk )

ramcoa survivor ( mc and oa )

i am pro - transid for anything i am . identity is not limited to the cis experience !!

🫀　　ANONYMOUS LIST :

none currently . . .

[homo-house]

hi!

this is my personal blog & I post about whatever here. I have an art blog @mister-sol but I decided to not post my house md sketches there so they go here instead

there are some constants to what I post such as house md, good omens, franz kafka, hannibal, jayvik. I’m really into sad gruesome and problematic shit like cannibalism (as a concept). I also occasionally post sketches and pictures I take here. I have strong (political/philosophical) beliefs and opinions (again idc about fandom drama) so I can be annoying but I don't try to be mean.

I am ND, forgetful, very anxious, and don’t do very well with social interactions so pls forgive me if I don’t reply to asks/dms quickly or at all, it’s hard sometimes and 100% nothing personal.

Important: I like insects and some animals that a lot of people dislike, but I always tag them, so if they give u the ick just mute the tags. I only ask that u tag images of syringes as I have a phobia.

Feel free to request that i tag CW anything else that upsets you in some way and is not listed here

Funky animals I like

centipedes

cockroaches

rats

bats

snakes

frogs

Media/ships (no particular order)

Good Omens/aziracrow

House M.D./hilson

Hannibal/hannigram

Doctor Who/tenrose

Cobra Kai/lawrusso

Looney Tunes/baffy

South Park/creek

A Little Life

The Mentalist/jisbon

Homestuck (RARELY I swear)

League of Legends/vikjayce

Other stuff probably

Sensitive topics are tagged appropriately but i'm still figuring these out

suicide ment

death ment

SH ment

current politics (from anywhere)

war ment

cw transphobia

cw racism

queer discourse

gore

Types of media

video, gifs

[unlawfulbread5]

Current head image

A suicidal woman is about to end her life by jumping off a building but is interrupted by a surfer dude and he says

"yo bro you about to end your life dawg?"

"yes and don't try to stop me my life is a mess and Its better off if I'm gone"

"bro I understand, I was suicidal too but then I thought about potatos."

"what?"

"you know like the small brown lumpy things"

"I know what a potato is what meant was ... Never mind good bye"

"oh I get it, i ment like look at a potato like it can be in so many forms dude, like french fries or potato salad, Croquettes, wedges, like if a potato can change I can too you know I'm not worse than a potato dawg"

"huh"

And the woman backs down from the ledge and her and the surfer go get burgers.

[infiniteseriesofhalfways]

Sometimes I need to get thoughts out of my brain you know?

(this is literally just me talking about knitting for awhile and then strangely, AH and my mental health tbh)

I wrote a knitting pattern that should be going up for sale this week (I hope??) and it's so wild to me bc I really only started knitting about a year ago? Like October of 2019. I'd tried multiple times ever since I learned to crochet when I was like 10, but just always struggled and hated it until one day it just... Clicked? And now I wrote a real pattern that I'm immensely proud of and I love and genuinely think is good?

I finished one and so did my mom, and we both have multiple other colorways in the works and it's because we've both had such a good time making it. I really do think it's beautiful as a pattern and I know the shawls people could make would be astounding. And I don't mean it in a 'look what a great pattern I made, what I'VE created is so wonderful' or egotistical or whatever way, I just... Genuinely love it.

The wildest part is that is started bc I was just... Fucking around with colors I liked. There was so much shit happening in October and I could not shut any part of my brain off enough with anything else, and I was so stressed and in such a bad place, so I just fucked around and made something that might give me comfort. The idea that this could be the Start Of Something because of that blows my mind.

And I'm mostly kidding here but I'm also terrified someone is going to say something about my color choice for the original and I'm going to have to admit that I 105% made it in Rimmy Tim colors bc they were the only thing I could stand to look at at the time. How do I begin to explain that to some woman on ravelry??

Anyway here's pics of part of it

Bc the actual pattern isn't out yet but I assure you there are more purple/orange bits and much less yellow as it goes on. But like... I made this! I did something! And it was completely born out of anxiety and my dear love for Jeremy's ridiculous color scheme. Which is fuckin hilarious and also part of why I love it so much.

I don't know my point here, but it's just... The world is fuckin weird sometimes. The things that inspire us. The things that turn into bigger things way beyond our imagination. Like if I hadn't stumbled upon a rage quit video 7 or 8 years ago I never would have made this. Because I wouldn't have gotten into AH, wouldn't have seen Jeremy's content, wouldn't have such a dear love for this color scheme, wouldn't have been in the kind of shit place I was in October for some of the reasons I was, wouldn't have turned to knitting to help ease the anxiety I had, wouldn't have made this thing.

Which is not even to mention all of the other parts of my life that would be different, like if I hadn't stayed on tumblr primarily bc of the AH fandom, I never would have connected with some of the wonderful folks I have, my writing would be either in a completely different place or non existent (which rn... lmao) my sense of humor might be wildly different to what it is and I might not have connected with my best friend the way that I have. He introduced me to bands that have forever shaped the way I listen to music. I went to my first concert bc of him. Would we have the relationship we have if the way I joked wasn't shaped by AH? Like the list goes on.

Honestly who would I be today if I had never heard Michael yell "swiss fucking cheese" and immediately watched other stuff he had done? Again, not even to get into what effect it's had on my mental health like... There were points where my only reason for not killing myself was so I could at least see whatever video was coming up. Which is ridiculous in a lot of ways but also even if it's something small hold on to it you know? And I'm so fucking grateful for that. It helped get me far enough to my childhood best friend coming back into my life one particular night when it wasn't enough, which is some timing I'll forever wonder about.

I just... Who would I be? Would I be at all? Shit, would I be a wildly more successful version of me instead? I don't know. I think I'm happy though, where I am. Happier than I used to be, at least. I think that counts for something. I'm not where I want to be but at least I'm not where I used to be, etc.

Anyway I really went on and on didn't I? This started as me wanting to make a joke about my first shawl pattern being Rimmy Tim colors, and then I just started thinking things. The world is weird. Life is weird. I am honestly glad to still be here though. And I think that's good.

[badnikbreaker]

@lowhowl​ : ( spotify wrapped ) 88 !     /      PEACESIGN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - black dresses     /    accepting.

“You can try an’ kill me, but we both know you don’t got the guts — and you got your little wisp buddies back, anyway.”  Surge isn’t capable of kindness / isn’t capable of gentleness / is only capable of this sort of ugly cruelty.  WOULD YOU BELIEVE THIS IS HOW SHE EMPATHIZES?  “Or maybe you can kill me — we both know the world’d be better off without PEOPLE LIKE US in it.”

She’s like me / violent, cruel, outsider, made of pain and nothing else.  No hope, no real future, and just smoking ash for a past.  AND PEOPLE LIKE THAT DON’T BELONG IN A BEAUTIFUL, PEACEFUL WORLD, DO THEY?

Would you believe this is how she empathizes?  “Weapons like us don’t belong in the good future your new friends are trying to build.  If you kill me, you better kill yourself, too.”

[chocochipclaire]

if anyone wants to see a physical representation of the absurd ways my brain tries to rationalize all the little fictional dudes who make my brain spin like a hamster wheel

[halfelven]

oh wait i think electrocuting myself is working

[annabelle--cane]

truly what goes through the heads of anyone who decides to play logic's "1-800" over speakers at any type of event