#suicide ment tw

[the-shinysnorlax]

God I’m begging. On all hands and knees. If you are going to write Miguel in a fic. Read his comics. Go to his wiki page. Do RESEARCH. Because I am sick and tired of people mischaracterizing Miguel ESPECIALLY here on Tumblr. It’s ridiculous.

Like my guy is not flirtatious. He’s a pathetic sad little nerd (Affectionate) who alienates himself from everyone and doesn’t know how to express his feelings so he just becomes overtly sarcastic. That’s Miguel.

Also y’all. REMEMBER THAT GABRIEL EXISTS. HE HAS A FAMILY.

Lastly Miguel was abused as a child. Hes tried unaliving himself. Miguel has trauma that isn’t just his daughter dying.

So yeah. Miguel is a complex character. I get it. But again, it is not hard to do research on him and his character. I beg. I’m tired of the blatant Mischaracterization of him. Please please PLEASE read his comics or at least read his wiki page. Anything. I’m done with him being written as a completely different character.

[landscaping-your-mind]

Underneath the autism smile is suicidal depression

[rejoiceandcomplain]

microdosing on suicidal ideation by listening to lonely by palaye royale and go home by julien baker back to back

[evilkitten3]

not to be dramatic but i'd literally rather kill myself

[miraculouslumination]

I am all for assuming good faith, and interactions inherently stemming from such a place. However, sometimes I feel that there is a special flavor of underlying insult that comes with the way some people approach the topic of transphobia specific to transm&ms. You'll see someone start out with "well, yeah, of COURSE transmasc and trans men deserve to have a word and space to discuss their issues!" Which is great. It's supportive, it shows that they have an open mind, and are open to these discussions.

Then they sometimes follow it up, however, with a very loud "BUUUT" or "HOOOWEVER" or "ALTHOOOUGH". Now I'm left sitting there, absolutely befuddled. Thinking, why? Why does this conversation need to have so many caveats and takeaways?

It's never followed up by anything new, either. It's typically either, "BUT other trans people always have it worse. Forever and always doomed to be the universe's wettest most unfortunate little trans warriors." Or "HOWEVER, just don't go forgetting, little dumb trans boys, that you are at risk of falling for MISOGYNY by discussing your problems" or "ALTHOUGH, these problems are never AS bad as other trans groups. Just ignore the long history of suicide and erasure in your group! That...that doesn't count. That's not REAL suffering." Or something along those lines.

It's just this pattern of people making a complete statement "I believe that transmascs and trans men deserve a word and space to talk about their issues" before tacking on some comment that, in my opinion, undervalues their original statement a LOT.

And you never see this in other discussions of gender! At least, not in the broader world. You never see people warning enben and abinary people that "yeah but if you have your own word/space, JUST REMEMBER that you'll NEVER have it as bad as this OTHER GROUP"

Arguably, this is because we still live in a time where enben and abinary people are often hit with "you don't even exist at all so you can't POSSIBLY have your own UNIQUE issue", but I digress

Why is it that people seem to have this idea that if transmascs and trans men are allowed to have a word + space to talk about their issues, we'll just rapidly devolve into slobbering misogynistic wolves who are always looking for another woman - of any type - to rip and tear down because "BUT MYYYY PROBLEMS!!!"

Why? I mean. We all know why. It's unchecked prejudice and biases. But, still...why?? Why is it so hard to just leave it at "I believe that transmascs and trans men deserve their own word + space" without adding something else. It's a waste of breath, data, and time.

[mishkakagehishka]

And just like clockwork, two days after suicide pops into my head i get my period

[antiradqueer]

just wanna put it out there that all the "we're inclusive and accepting! if you're problematic, this is the only place people will love and support you!" is a complete trap.

i thought that i was radqueer and "transage" because radqueers told me that not wanting to share your age online with complete strangers was "age dysphoria". i was also told that caring for animals was zoophilia and liking warrior cats was "fictozoophilia". they told me i was all these different minorities and 90% fake marginalized identities, and that the radqueer community was the only place i would ever be accepted, because no one else could be trusted and i could never tell anyone else. i was told that i was an "adult attracted minor" because i was 16 attracted to someone who had just turned 18, and that i should pursue a relationship with 20-something radqueers because "kids can consent, you're super mature! no relationship is harmful!" and that me feeling upset and uncomfortable with 25 year olds flirting with me was just me being "anti-para" and ""not accepting "anti-radqueer".

now im in therapy and will probably never recover from all of this. i have diagnosed c-ptsd from everything i went through in that community and i barely made it out alive, after nearly committing suicide multiple times because of what radqueers put me through. the radqueer community nearly fucking killed me and i hope to god that the other minors in that community make it out.

turns out, a cult is a cult, no matter how cute and friendly and wholesome radqueers try to make it seem.

its definitely a cult honestly, i can even see it with the small amount of research ive done

but actually, reading all the stuff ex radqs and people who were almost rq have said to me

radqueers are predators. they will absolutely lie and use rhetoric to bring anyone in. its not "accepting someones identity" if youre gaslighting and forcing them to be something.

[coachbeards]

"hard to forget a game like that." "you know what will help? going to see the woman that you love." "exactly. but it's clear to me that coach beard doesn't think he's worthy of jane." "oh, i know. beard's self-esteem is so low, he will need a pep talk to kill himself. and i would like to give that pep talk."

[gemsandjunk]

haiii google docs here ^_^ so I’ve noticed that the way your characters talk is affected by their upbringing and rich inner lives ಠ_ಠ have you considered killing yourself instead

[mbrainspaz]

Finished adding a new scene to chapter 1 this morning, sitting and looking out at the lake at my uncle's mansion. I've been working in a manic state on my 'vacation' ever since I heard that my full time ranch job decided to make their budgeting issues my problem. Last year money got as tight as it could get thanks to greed-flation and basic care for all my senior animals. It's so hard to constantly look at my life and say, "I don't deserve this." But I don't. All the best things in my life I cling to with the desperation of a thief. As my rich uncle likes to remind me—

The freedom to write and work on my comic? I'm too poor for that.

The horse I dreamt of since I was 5? Waaaaay too poor for that.

The dogs who've been my family for almost 10 years? Never should have adopted them.

I know I've rarely made enough to budget much more than food and shelter, and sometimes not even that. My greatest flaw is that I would rather starve myself and live on the run than give up what I love living for.

Und wehe anyone but Death himself tries to take these few precious things from me.

My inheritance was depression and there have been many times in my life when I looked around and recognized that the most practical and convenient thing I could do would be to stop wasting the air, so I'm never going to exist in this world as a money savvy cynic. In the best moments I find I've stolen the space to exist and breathe in the smell of warm dogs and horse sweat, and feel the satisfying clickity clack of keys under my fingers.

Cheers to 2024—May I kick it in the teeth and hack its disney+ account.

[devildevotee]

i've not made a post surrounding demonolatry for a while, and i'm going to express why.

i'm tired.

the community has granted me some wonderful friends and truly beautiful relationships with the infernal, but i am tired.

i'm tired of finding kind, gentle people, who in the end want to trample on my boundaries.

i'm tired of being betrayed by having people disengage with the rules i put there for my own safety, and i'm tired of trusting people to have read them and to respect them. i'm tired of assuming people want to help keep me safe, whether they know me or do not.

i'm tired of people making excuses to not respect them, too. my blocklist goes on for miles and yet i always find someone new to block every day. i'm about to block someone who talked to me during a day i thought i was going to end it, because turns out they also do not care enough to pay notice to my safety or boundaries.

i'm tired of being contacted by christians wanting to convert me, to save me.

additionally i'm tired of christians wanting to turn me into their satanic sex fantasy. i have a partner who i love very much. but no, i'm an object before i'm anything else, and that goes double for the partner i am committed to. how dare you assume i'm going to betray them like that. fuck you.

i'm tired of having the same discussion about why i put my rules in place. i put them there for my safety. i am not in the mood to repeatedly have to explain why i put them there or why it's any of my business to request you respect them - my followers should respect them regardless, whether they keep me safe or do not.

i'm tired of having endless insults thrown at me for goodness forbid, not wanting to talk about h*lluva b*ss. i don't care if i'm being harsh by not wanting that. i don't care about your blorbos over the demons i venerate and adore.

i'm going to hold off posting about demons and satanism for as long as i need. i deserve a break.

i'm tired.

[saintshigaraki]

working a 12-9 tmrw….what if i killed myself instead

[rejoiceandcomplain]

my brain is interesting in the way that if I don't have my allotted nightly music time, I may actually kill someone or possibly myself

[pancake-syrup]

killign myself. no actually, i am killing a different reality version of me

[antediluvianapocalypse]

Episode 8 of Buffy didn't feel trite to me, despite the fact it's ostensibly about the Dangers of Talking to Strangers on The Internet. It feels like the writers were genuinely asking, "What would a demon in the digital age look like?" Moloch doesn't only lie about his identity - he lures people with his promises, asking only for their love in return (feels uncannily relevant - make sure to like and subscribe!!). He manipulates others into doing his bidding, to bring him into the world. He messes with files - "I didn't write this", "There was nothing in the file about this allergy", and of course, the suicide note. The first two examples are in the background, which adds to the impression that Moloch is a demon out to fuck over people not just a stand-in for A Shady Person On The Internet. And I did find these genuinely creepy:

[mishkakagehishka]

Cloth Waltz came on shuffle so i'll post this on its own bc i'm feeling it /pos