#suicide ment cw

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

I know this is pretty clear given movie!Gerald's true revenge plans I know I know but I'm not over how the end of the Sonic/Shadow fight scene really betrays how much movie!Shadow wants to die

For 50 years in his head, locked in stasis, he's been dreaming about Maria and reliving her death over and over and over and over. No matter what he does or destroys or how fast he runs he can see her there in his mind and it hurts more than one can imagine. And during most of the movie's run time he puts it into revenge, into doing something about it so that he's not just sitting around. It's easy to say that he was doing all of this so Maria's death would mean something, but in truth he hoped putting all his anger and pain into avenging Maria would allow him to feel better.

But he was getting doubts about whether this would be worth it, whether Maria would want revenge exacted upon her beloved home.

And then when Super Sonic had finally had Shadow at his mercy, he kept telling him to do it. To finish it. To exact a strike right at the heart. He was not handling living with his pain well, he was having doubts about his revenge, and when it finally came down to the wire he just wanted it all to end.

And then...Sonic wouldn't let him have this. Not only was this not who Sonic was (a killer), but he couldn't just take that life, even though Shadow was goading him into doing it. He refused to kill him, and forced Shadow to live. And not just to live, but to live honoring Maria's memory and making amends rather than simply trying to fight and destroy his feelings away.

Idk I'm just insane about that scene betraying how much Shadow wanted to die and how impactful it was that Sonic chose not to let him/chose not to kill him (like those scenes between Sonic and the knights from Satbk but perhaps a but more emotionally weighted)

[landscaping-your-mind]

Underneath the autism smile is suicidal depression

[pirojiji]

gay and meaningless oc crossover❤️ shashlik-kun a girl behind you

[mamawasatesttube]

going to bed but thinking about kon and his suicidality as selflessness and how heroism and self-destruction share quite the overlap and how saving the world with his death was heroic but also the culmination of a pattern of passive suicidality he displayed since practically his first day alive. what does it mean when you're so eager and willing to help at any cost to yourself that you assume you will not see yourself grow up? "i don't care what happens to me" is a scary place to be, but "i don't care what happens to me, so long as i can save everyone" is noble and brave, right? so when does heroism become an act of self-destruction? when you truly believe in helping others, but you also think you'll die doing it one day and that isn't enough to stop you... where's the line?

[cedarspiced]

the fact that the second i'm more sleep deprived than normal my brain always decides that suicide sounds great is. Fucking Miserable. to say the least

[coulsonlives]

[carbonateddelusion]

tough party?

[wildfairies]

i wrote this like two months ago when i finished, but im posting it now for my own record lol.

MAJOR SPOILER WARNING FOR CRITICAL ROLE CAMPAIGN 1

scrambled critical role thoughts and opinions after finishing c1:

oh boy i cried through vax's goodbye scene in the last episode, but holy shit i fucking sobbed through his appearance in dalen's closet. how the fuck was liam so perfect at playing an altered version of vax that was still him at heart. every interaction was perfect. cannot describe how i felt when he addressed scanlan, how the fuck could he come up with such a perfect ingenious opener, i was in tears immediately.

i would not have believed you if you told me when i started that scanlan and grog would have been my favorites at the end of the campaign. (well maybe a little bc i am a confirmed travis stan but seriously i didn't anticipate the level of depth, comedy, and heart he brought to grog). grog's kevdak speech is a campaign highlight for me-- no, a 2023 highlight.

i obviously found scanlan somewhat annoying but funny if often outdated. i kind of just wrote it off as something i'd ignore but sam really made a comeback like damn, i was very happy and surprised when he apologized to pike.

scanlan leaving discourse is old news but for me personally it reminded me of myself in really dark times and the ways poor mental health can make you kinda self-centered. not mad about how any of it went down or how it was resolved, and i love how his and vex's relationship became a highlight for me after his return.

i honestly loved the super high emotional stakes of VM, felt like someone was always mad at someone else, i'm a sucker for inter-party conflict and intense emotional scenes. these guys have so much angst and i love it.

i really enjoyed the tight pacing and goal-oriented episodes. i tend to get stressed out when there's too many broad choices about what to do next in any sort of media lol. this campaign also rly showed me how much i love watching high-level play.

i don't fuck with percy??????? lmfao i don't hate him or anything, i literally can't put it any way besides idfw that man. 😭 he's an interesting character ofc and i do like his friendship with keyleth

keyleth was my fave for most of the campaign. her growth was so rewarding to watch, she made me laugh so many times, i love seeing her become a leader, just adore her and she's such a comfort character to me. bought myself a simple ring with "I have passed through fire" engraved on the inside to celebrate my didn't-kill-myself-aversary this year bc that letter was exactly what i needed to hear 😭

kiki and vax never interested me thatttt much UNTIL they became eternally star-crossed lovers jfc. that is my catnip. tbh it's interesting to me that VM is held up by some as having superior romance to TMN, but i didn't find any of VM's romance super compelling.

since it's been a couple months since i finished, i can add that vex is who i've thought most about since i finished?? i always liked her, loved the grey hunt, adored her relationship with vax, but didn't know i had strong feelings until after i'd finished watching. funny how that happens.

the mighty nein start out fucked up and end up pretty good, while vox machina start out pretty cool and then get super fucked up 😭 much as i love outcasts finding family, it was really fun to watch all these archetypal fantasy Cool Guys just go through so much emotional damage lmao.

[finncomet]

*walks to u on the lava but little feet away and makes sure he doesn’t do anything about ending his life or something* u okay dude ur not going there right?? Look bestie I’m struggling too but u can’t let ur emptiness and depression or wutever u having win. Cuz everyone from my world loves to see you everyday cuz ur just a good friend to everyone. Some antics are stupid cuz they haven’t watched you well. We need you to stay friend. Dont make me sad best friend. I want to hang with u til ur okay.

☄️ He blinks in surprised. "Oh. I wasn't planning on jumping in... and I doubt I'd actually die even if I did." Wouldn't be the first time he'd taken a swim in a volcano. Though Jake had been there to pull him out last time.

"I appreciate the concern, though. You're sweet." 🦋

[secondsonaym]

re: a certain ask i got

i would appreciate it if you didn't do that, even if it's a fictional character, that is suicide baiting and can make several people uncomfortable.

[clownantihero]

i love to think natsuo has been permabanned on bnha's twitter equivalent for publically suicide baiting endeavor every time he tweets,

[fearandhungies]

i know this is just the grim reality of being an adult and more so a person with an actual life but every single time i think about the fact i have a proper Weekend and that i have to go back to work on monday i get like physically sick. it like twists my stomach. not to be like "the exact thing i was concerned would come with getting a job is that it would tank my will to live" but um

[killer-dream]

As much as the seafolk in her city love surface-dwellers, Del -- and most of her neighbors and their neighbors -- don't believe that the surface is a nice place. After all, most of the surface-dwellers that end up in the city's waters... didn't want to be there any more.

[mamawasatesttube]

You successfully convinced me to read superboy 98!! Look at the boy!!

And like. Wow the very first issue really had his plan be to fly as far up as he could before passing out to knock out the person choking him, at a time where his invinsiblity was concentration based...

Like it's a smart plan but boy howdy were you not kidding about him being passively suicidal!! He really was not considering his own safety at all!! Issue One!!! Somebody give him a hug I swear to god

YEAH I SURE WAS NOT KIDDING 😭 he is only little and he has absolutely no self preservation instincts. PLEASE give him a hug he needs one soooo bad. and it only ! gets ! worse !

[pyreshe]

honestly some magn.us archiv.es livvy info hit me like a boat;

the cult of the lightless flame don't celebrate livvy's birthday on the actual date; they celebrate in november either on the anniversary of agnes' death or within days of it. it's a huge deal and the entire cult is in attendance offering tribute and celebrating. the party is never about honoring livvy or even remembering agnes, it's about the triumph and vindication they feel that their malevolent god has more or less told them to try again and promising that they won't blow that chance.

[carbonateddelusion]

Edgar (bonus if they're truths he would not be willing to tell me himself)

use any amount of edgars as you want for the question

hum

I'll do M.Eddie because I feel like it

he would absolutely KILL to be anybody else. he hates his life so much. he loves being able to help people, but GOD he hates all the attention on him. and people love him as someone he isn't. as if he had enough of a hard time socializing, he just HAD to toss reaching celebrity godhood to that. he's very deeply unhappy. he doesn't ENJOY killing people. he hates it, but he thinks it's a necessary evil. normal Edgar is the kind of person who doesn't like watching horror movies because the blood effects make him upset, so I'm sure you can draw some conclusions here.

he wishes that he'd never started down this road in the first place, although he'd loathe to admit it. it's... Eddie, so of course there's that nagging voice telling him that the good he's done is worth it, but he wants so, so badly to go back. and he's very ashamed of it. he originally wanted a husband, some kids, and enough money to take care of them all on his own; but once he had a goal in mind, he'd committed himself to pushing through and becoming this idol of a person so he can expand his reach to help even more people.

he's secretly suicidal and he definitely needs some kind of therapy and medication. getting to stay at home is his only reprieve from masking, but even then he still puts on another, albeit lighter, mask when he speaks to the people who work to keep his home well-maintained.

he'd be envious of normal Edgar. extremely envious. he doesn't care about the trauma; he wants his manic pixie dream boyfriend, even if their relationship turns sour. he craves Isaac and Noah's presence by his side. but most of all, he wants his kids. he's still the same kid that took baby dolls and feather dusters and played pretend as a stay-at-home dad.

he feels like whatever is left of his original, actual, genuine personality is too meager or corrupted to be worth anything to other people. they don't like that version of him. that's the version that was slapped on the hands with rulers, ruthlessly bullied by his peers for being "different", and forced to repeat prayers over and over and over until "sinful" thoughts left his mind. they didn't like him then; why would they like him now?