unlawfulbread5

[unlawfulbread5]

Currently working on writing a book

And by currently working on I mean currently thinking about and by writing I mean hate it myself because I can't write

[unlawfulbread5]

"yo bro do you think he sees us"

"nah fame we good"

[unlawfulbread5]

Before you judge someone drive a mile with their seat configuration

[unlawfulbread5]

F*** it I'm starting an argument

Squares are red

Circles are blue

Triangles are yellow

Discuss

[unlawfulbread5]

Just spent my afternoon calculating the casualties of a marble run. life's good

[unlawfulbread5]

Concept a sooner gets plops down into hell and challenges the devil to the good old Golden fiddle contest but the problem is the devil is like 8 years out of practice

Guy "I challenge you to a Golden fiddle contest"

The devil " uhh are you sure ?"

Guy "yes"

The devil "...fuck"

[unlawfulbread5]

The bread looks like it's on its third divorce

I am in tears

[unlawfulbread5]

The bread looks like it's on its third divorce

I am in tears

[unlawfulbread5]

I was laughing at this for a solid 10 minutes because it just reads as one two three *Yoda death sound*

[unlawfulbread5]

Do think homophone see gays is raccoons

Like

"Martha get the broom the the gays are outside again"

[unlawfulbread5]

I love my friends as people not as provinces

[unlawfulbread5]

Current head image

A suicidal woman is about to end her life by jumping off a building but is interrupted by a surfer dude and he says

"yo bro you about to end your life dawg?"

"yes and don't try to stop me my life is a mess and Its better off if I'm gone"

"bro I understand, I was suicidal too but then I thought about potatos."

"what?"

"you know like the small brown lumpy things"

"I know what a potato is what meant was ... Never mind good bye"

"oh I get it, i ment like look at a potato like it can be in so many forms dude, like french fries or potato salad, Croquettes, wedges, like if a potato can change I can too you know I'm not worse than a potato dawg"

"huh"

And the woman backs down from the ledge and her and the surfer go get burgers.

[unlawfulbread5]

You know there comes a Time in a quired-up white boy's life when he realizes that he is no longer goated with the sauce and he can no longer bust it down sexual style as he did in his younger years

[unlawfulbread5]

I'm going in boys wish me luck

[unlawfulbread5]

Do not open this package outside or else you'll unleash birdemic

I have seen a new Hazard Sign. It’s… very specific:

[enhance!]

a warning against a bird party?

Worm time!

[unlawfulbread5]

Blue-footed Booby

Photos: Libor Vaicenbacher

[unlawfulbread5]

He's definitely not the hero we deserve but he's the hero we get and that... that's what matters

I found god in a hopeless place