#the plot is absolutely on point I adore it it's exactly my kind of thing

[cassmouse]

Idk if it's just me being overly into it or my inexperience with these sorts of games but Control is fucking terrifying in the best way possible

[nilolemillion]

Let’s get one thing straight (very unlike me): Batman loves his kids. All of them. He’d die for each one in a heartbeat (of course not kill for them, cough cough Jason). But if you think for one second that Bruce Wayne, the guy who regularly dresses as a bat and fights crime at 3 AM (cough cough insomniac furry.), has a favorite BatKid, then clearly, you’ve never met his children. He doesn’t have a favorite, not because he loves them equally, but because none of these potatoe pie pumpkin cutie-headed chaos gremlins deserve to be his favorite.

Let me explain.

Dick Grayson (WOOP WOOP that’s the sound of that police. Yes Karen, I know he’s no longer an officer, NO KAREN I DON’T GIVE A FUCK.):

The first pancake. The golden boy. Everyone assumes that Dick has a special place in Bruce’s heart because he was the first Robin. He’s charming, he’s capable, and he smiles like he’s got a fucking sponsorship deal with Colgate. But let’s be real, this guy left the nest the second he could, started his own superhero gig in Blüdhaven, and still occasionally shows up to remind Bruce that he doesn’t need him (yes king, show your independence, love that for you.) And you know Dick is the type to throw that ‘you’re getting old, B’ line out there just to twist the knife. Bruce loves him, but how can he be the favorite when he’s busy playing Batman-lite with better hair?

Jason Todd (My personality favorite zombie, resuscitated character in the whole world, I love him so much and all the Outlaws.):

Oh, Jason. The problem child. The one Bruce failed, died, and came back with a vengeance (literally). You’d think after all that tragedy, Bruce might go a little easier on him. But Jason? This kid shows up at family dinners with guns blazing, ready to debate the morality of lethal force like it’s Thanksgiving dinner conversation (and it is, I did it and it was quite fun.) Sure, Bruce would die for him (again), but Jason pushes every button Bruce has like it’s his job. One minute he’s trying to be the better vigilante, the next, he’s making Gotham’s criminals wonder if Batman has gone completely off the rails. If Jason’s Bruce’s favorite, it’s in the ‘how are you still alive and not in jail?’ kind of way.

Tim Drake (DC DROP ANOTHER CANON ILLUSTRATION OF TIM BEING A CUTE LIL STALKER AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!):

Tim’s the brainiac of the family, the kid who deduced Bruce’s secret identity with zero help. Naturally, you’d think this would earn him some serious brownie points. But here’s the thing, Tim works way too hard. He’s got all the signs of a caffeine addiction (which is completely and absolutely understandable, he’s just a little silly and caffeine addicts are hot, yes I am too), zero concept of work-life balance, and is always trying to out-detective Bruce. Yeah, Bruce admires his dedication, but let’s be honest: Tim’s the kid you have to physically shove into bed because he thinks sleep is a myth. Bruce is just trying to prevent this kid from burning out before he’s 30. How can Tim be the favorite when Bruce spends most of his time making sure he doesn’t turn into an insomniac vigilante-zombie?

Damian Wayne (I’m literally making my birthday party theme of him, that should explain enough.):

Ah, Damian. His literal blood son. You’d think that alone would give him a shot at favorite-child status, right? Wrong. Damian is an adorable, pint-sized murder machine with a superiority complex the size of Wayne Manor. Bruce loves him fiercely, of course, but Damian’s idea of father-son bonding is training in deadly combat and arguing about why his assassination techniques are totally valid. Plus, he’s got that whole ‘I’m the heir to the world’s deadliest league of assassins’ thing going on. Sure, he’s Bruce’s kid, but you know he’s never going to let Bruce forget it. Not exactly favorite material when he’s constantly plotting world domination during family movie night. (Dw, he won’t act on it, Alfred made very clear that the batkid who dares dominate the world will be banned from his pastries. Besides, he’s too busy scratching Titus’ belly, he doesn’t have time to dominate the world. PRIORITIES BITCH.)

Cassandra Cain (I stan her more than I stand my own life. Help. I literally crocheted a plushy of her.):

Cassandra is probably the least rebellious out of the bunch, which should give her an edge, right? Wrong again. Cass may be quiet and respectful most of the time, but when she does go rogue, it’s on her terms, and it’s not just a small rebellion. No, Cass will disappear for weeks on end, take down a crime syndicate by herself, and then show up like it’s no big deal. Bruce can’t even stay mad because she’s so good at what she does. But Cass’s habit of ghosting the entire family and dealing with things solo? Yeah, it keeps her out of the running for favorite. Plus, she’s secretly the most dangerous one, and Bruce can’t play favorites with someone who could take him out without even blinking.

Duke Thomas (He’s was the sunshine I was midnight rain. DC DROP ANOTHER CANON ILLUSTRATION OF ISABELLA WITH DUKE AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!):

Duke the daylight protector of Gotham, which is cute and all, except that Bruce has no idea how to parent in the daylight. Duke brings this bright, positive energy to the BatFamily, which sounds great in theory, but this is Bruce we’re talking about. The guy who lives for darkness and brooding. Bruce loves Duke’s optimism, but it’s like trying to teach a vampire to enjoy the sun. Plus, Duke has a habit of questioning everything, and sure, Bruce appreciates his independent streak, but do you really want a favorite who keeps making you reconsider your life choices?

Stephanie Brown (My sweet dear and beloved purple queen, I love her so much.):

Not an adopted batkid, her mom is alive I think… But I don’t give a duck KAREN. Stephanie is the wildcard, the one who does whatever she wants, whenever she wants, and somehow gets away with it. She’s staged fake deaths, gotten fired from being Robin, and still keeps coming back for more. Stephanie’s whole existence is an exercise in chaos theory. Bruce loves her resilience and her ‘never-say-die’ attitude (literally), but how can she be his favorite when her middle name might as well be ‘Loose Cannon’? She’s the kind of kid who’ll fight crime while live-tweeting it. Yeah, Bruce loves her, but he’s not rewarding that kind of energy with a favorite child title. (I’m still confused about her age thingy.)

So no, Bruce doesn’t have a favorite. Because how could he? His kids are walking, talking disasters, each one a different flavor of chaos. Bruce loves them all more than anything in the world, but picking a favorite would be like trying to choose between different natural disasters. Earthquakes, tornadoes, volcanic eruptions, they’re all beautiful in their own destructive way, but you wouldn’t want to pick one to live through. In the end it’s about Bruce somehow surviving all of them.

[beenbaanbuun]

christmas choi jongho thoughts…

genre: fluffy smut (bullet point form)

words: idk

warnings: loss of virginity, protected sex, christmas celebrations, praise, kissing

so i fully believe that our boy jongho is a gentleman above everything

i’m talking gives you his jacket, buys you flowers, holds your bag, that sort of thing

so when he finds out you’re a virgin, obviously it’s no problem at all

he’s more than happy to wait until you’re ready because again, he’s a gentleman!

he can make do with his hand for a little while

he really doesn’t mind as long as you’re comfortable

and then like 5 months into your relationship, it’s december!

the relationship might have been relatively new so spending actual christmas together was probably a little intense, but christmas eve?

that was practically christmas day: the prequel

the two of you sit there in your apartment in matching pyjamas, two mugs of hot chocolate sitting half drank on the table and a shitty hallmark film playing in the background

the two of you are illuminated by nothing but the lights on your tree as you snuggle together under the fluffiest blanket you could find

you keep sneaking looks at one another, both of you in awe at how the other looks under the multicoloured lights that shine down upon the two of you

the films only half finished when jongho passes you a gift

you look at him confused but he just shrugged

“the films boring, baby,” he grumbles before gesturing to the pristinely wrapped present in your lap, “she’s going to realise she’s made a mistake and run off back to the country boy who can show her ‘what christmas really means’… boring.”

you giggle at his run down of the plot of every hallmark movie ever

then you unwrap the gift

it’s a necklace. a locket to be specific

you open it to see a picture that he must’ve taken in secret: you cuddled up to him in bed, his lips pressed to your forehead as your cheek lay smushed up against his chest

“it’s nothing much… kind of cheesy now i think about it.”

you shut him up with a kiss before passing over your gifts

you passed them back and forth until all that was left was your final gift

it was silly, and now you were kind of doubting whether the gift was perhaps too silly

you pass it over anyway and bite your lip as he rips into the wrapping paper only to find… a box of condoms?

he looks at you with a raised brow and a smirk on his face

“a box of condoms, hm?”

you blush and nod

“they might come in useful…”

“oh, they might?” he chuckles as he studies the box, “how come?”

“don’t make me say it,” you whine, “i gave you the box to get out of saying it…”

he chuckles because how can you be so cute???

like you’ve just passed him a box of condoms and yet he still wants to giggle and blush and kick his feet because you’re absolutely adorable

so he decides to tease you a little just so he can watch you cutely squirm a little more

“but i don’t know what you mean, baby,” you grins at you and you can’t help but swoon at his pretty smile.

the way to corners of his eyes crinkle as he shows his gums AGDJSGDJSGAMDHSJ

he’s just so pretty and you have to do everything in your power to stop yourself from leaning forward and kissing him right then and there

but you somehow manage to hold back

“please do tell me why exactly you bought me this box of condoms…”

even though his teasing is annoying, you can’t help but giggle along

“choi jongho,” you murmur, “i swear i will take my gift back if you don’t…”

“don’t what?” he smirks

it immediately turns into a pout when you try to take the condoms back

he eventually concedes and stops his teasing

decides that kissing you would be much more appropriate for the time and place

it’s soft and sweet and intoxicating

you chase his lips as he pulls away but he just giggles at you before diving in for more

“jongho,” you whisper as you pull away, “do you want to put your present to good use?”

“absolutely, baby.”

and it’s literally the most magical thing because once again…

JONGHO IS A GENTLEMAN

strips you of your pyjamas himself, asking before he removes each piece if it’s okay

in fact, he asks before he does anything just to make sure you’re fully comfortable with everything (gentleman…)

holds your hand throughout the whole thing because he needs to make it romantic

peppers small kisses to your face as he pushes in to distract you from the initial stretch

“you’re doing so well,” kiss on the nose, “so perfect for me, aren’t you?” kiss on the forehead, “like you were made for me…” kiss on the lips

and he’s right. the two of you fit so well together and when he starts to rock his hips back and forth, you can’t help but notice how natural it feels when he slots back into place, cock buried deep inside of you

if he’d had prior warning he definitely would’ve busted out the rose petals and the candles

you lying naked on the sofa with the lights of the christmas tree bathing your bare skin felt right, though

when he realises he’s close, he takes one hand out of yours so he can play with your clit

the pout that forms when his hand slips out of yours is quickly replaced by a gasp of pleasure as he steadily pushes you to orgasm

it takes a moment or two for him to find a rhythm that works in getting you to the edge, but once he does, you reach it pretty quickly

he can’t help but tell you how pretty he thinks your moans are

“you sound so beautiful,” he pushes deep inside of you with shaky thighs, “i wish i could listen to you forever.”

and then, once he’s snugly within you, he cums into his condom and flops down on top of you

snuggles you close as you both dip in and out of dreamland

[soullumii]

carnival lights | joel miller x f!reader

pairing: joel miller x fem!reader

summary: you take joel to the yearly summer carnival.

warnings/tags: pure fluff, little bit of sexual humor, fake gun use! (water guns), carnival fun, no outbreak!joel, soft!joel, modern au, food, implied age gap (reader is in her 20s, joel is in his 40s), pet names (peach, darlin', sweetheart, baby), established relationship. (can be read as part of the stranded universe!), NO USE OF Y/N

word count: 3.5k

a/n: something cute while i work on stranded part 2. there's no plot, just vibes

taglist: @hecatombix @thatmemechick @sexygaypalpatine

“I can’t believe you dragged me out to this mess,” Joel grumbles. 

Warm summer air settles over the both of you as screams from excited kids and terrified people on rollercoasters echo around you in the night. Joel’s scowl is illuminated by flashing lights from various pop-up mirror mazes, haphazardly put together ferris wheels, and scandalously painted funhouses.

Seriously, though, why does the children’s funhouse have a mural of a Parisian can-can dancer plastered on the front of it, her fish-netted vagina visible from quite literally any angle within this carnival?

It’s so incredibly ridiculous, and you absolutely love it. You just love carnivals—always have. 

Even if they’re probably a safety hazard, even if the creepy clowns wandering about scared you a lot as a kid, and even if the sweet aroma of funnel cakes and fried Oreos and cotton candy mixes with the skunky smell of cheap weed. It brings back memories. And yeah, it might give you a headache after a few minutes, but it’s everything you adore, even if you’re in your late twenties now. 

“It’s fun, Joel. Have you ever heard of fun?” You tease, dragging him along the dirt path littered with cigarette butts and mystery liquids. You get a whiff of hot dog.

Joel must get it too, because his nose scrunches and he steps aside a dubious pile of something inscrutable. “My definition of fun ain’t exactly this.”

“Look! That looks fun!” You point excitedly toward a ride called “The Zipper” rising high in the sky, its metal capsules filled with adrenaline junkies swinging back and forth as the entire ride spins on an axis.

“Jesus Christ,” Joel swears under his breath.

“What? Don’t you want to ride it?” 

When you glance over at him, he’s looking particularly green, though you can’t exactly tell if that’s from the spinning cups next to you flashing green and white or if he’s truly feeling unwell.

“Are you okay?” You ask, sincerity coating your words as you turn to him. 

“I’m fine,” he shakes his head. “I just—you should’ve taken Ellie and Sarah with you. I’m not any fun at these kinds of things.”

“Joel…” you say, a teasing smile growing as your hand lands on his arm. “Are you scared?” 

He scowls, but hesitates in his answer, gaze darting away from you. “No.”

Liar. “Joel, it's okay if you’re scared,” you say. “We don’t have to ride any rides. I wanted to come with you just to spend time with you.”

His gaze softens and he sighs. “I know, peach. I wanna spend time with you, too. And for the record, I’m not scared, I’m just concerned about… my back.”

“Riiight,” you smirk. “Let’s go find something to do that won’t hurt your back then.”

You find a funnel cake stand charging $15 per cake. Joel grumbles about how ridiculous, and frankly, illegal it is that they’re charging so much for what is basically a scribble of fried dough as he pulls out his wallet.

“It's about the culture of it all, Joel,” you declare as you take a bite of doughy and powdered sugar goodness. “It’s just what carnival goers do. It’s only once a year, they can make the sacrifice.” You tear off a piece of it and give it to him. 

“I guess seein’ Sarah smile after eatin’ fried oreos was worth it," he relents as he takes the cake and plops it into his mouth, humming gratefully and yes! you’re starting to wear him down! 

“Exactly.”

After you both finish your funnel cake among a screaming swath of kids, you drag him toward the farm animals. This, he has to like. 

You enter into the tent, Joel’s hand tucked in yours, and the smell of manure and dirt immediately choke the both of you, the scent trapped in by the heat and the plastic material of the tarp. Joel somehow seems to look even worse than he did when you mentioned the Zipper.

“These poor animals,” he whispers, eyes wide as he takes in the fences sectioning off llamas and sheep and highland cattle. “They should be out wanderin’ in a field.”

“They do, Joel,” you insist, squeezing his hand. “It’s just for tonight. Come on, let’s go pet one.”

After a snot-nosed child stumbles away from the sheep pen, Joel makes his way over. He frowns down at them, reaching a hand in through the fence to pet them. The sheep inch forward, pressing their wet noses into his palm, and he strokes their soft wool lovingly. Your heart flutters at the sight.

And then you hear him whispering to them: “I’ll get you out of here.”

Before Joel can do something drastic, like wrench open the fence on pure strength alone (which you know he is absolutely capable of), you drag him out of the tent. Your spirits are extinguished, the night feeling more and more like a failure. You have to get him to have fun, somehow.

“Those poor animals,” he says again, shakes his head as you draw him toward the game booths.

“They’ll be okay, Joel,” you reassure gently, rubbing his shoulder blades. 

He just shakes his head again, and your heart fractures. You plaster on a smile and set him in front of a booth with two plastic water guns tethered to a ledge, at the far end of the booth are targets bobbing up and down, moving along a track.

“Let’s play this!” You say, handing the teenage booth manager a dollar bill. He chews his gum apathetically, and pulls the lever to start up the game. 

This piques Joel’s interest and he watches you grab the pistol-shaped water gun, aiming it at a target, your eye winking as you train your gaze on a target. 

“No, no, I can’t let you shoot like that,” he says, grabbing the pistol. He maneuvers your hands, “Left squeezes on the right, darlin’.” He then adjusts your arms and tries to grab the pistol from you, but it's sturdy in your new grasp, not going anywhere.

“There,” he says, proud, and grabs the other gun, pointing it at the first target. “Good luck, peach. You're gonna need it.”

“We’ll see about that,” you tease. You have no idea what you’re getting into.

“Start,” the booth manager monotonously drawls.

Before you can even pull the trigger, three of Joel’s targets are down, and he is cackling as he obliterates the others on his side. Your jaw drops, eyes widening.

Because, what the hell?

You scramble to catch up, pressing the trigger rapidly at your own targets, but only a few hits land. By the time the bored teenager calls ‘game’, Joel’s got his arms over his chest, watching you with a satisfied smile as you try in vain to shoot the last three targets on your side.

You turn to him in shock, but your bones feel light, your pulse beating rapidly because at least he’s finally having fun. And, admittedly, his skill is attractive.

“You should see your face right now,” he laughs.

“You won this,” the teenager drones, holding out a big fluffy teddy bear, half the size of Joel. 

“I’m keepin’ this,” Joel says, grabbing the bear and holding it close. He looks ridiculous, holding that giant teddy bear in his corded arms, peppered locks falling over his forehead. Ridiculously handsome. Ridiculously cute. You've got to keep this going.

“What? Seriously? You’re not going to give your girlfriend the bear you won?” You pout. He just smiles wider. 

“Darlin’, you’ve gotta earn this. Your shootin’ was pathetic.” He grabs another dollar from his wallet and hands it to the red-headed teen. “Another one, kid.”

Instead of grabbing his own pistol when the game starts up again, Joel comes in close around your back, warm chest pressing against your shoulder blades as his hands skim down your arms. He lays a chaste kiss on the side of your throat and your heart beats rapidly like a bird’s, warmth settling within you, a flush dusting your cheeks at his proximity. 

His broad palms land on yours, and he adjusts your hold again like he did last time. “This was good. Your aim, on the other hand…”

“I’ve never shot a fucking gun before, Joel,” you defend.

“This is a water gun, peach.” You grumble as he drags your arms up, sets them in a position that is honestly not very comfortable, but you can see how it might be easier for aiming. 

“Aim that ‘lil notch at the top of the gun in the middle of your target.” You follow his instruction dutifully. “Good, now shoot.”

It’s all in good fun, the gun light and cheap in your hand, but you treat it as if you truly are about to shoot a real gun, if only because your competitive nature likes to take over. You take a deep breath and let it out, then pull the trigger. The target goes down swiftly.

Joel pulls back, grinning down at you. “Nice job, peach.”

You preen at his praise.

“Alright, now hit the next one.” 

You do just that. He holds his hand up for a high five and you slam your palm onto his, laughing giddily. "I'm so fucking good at this!"

He hisses, shaking his stinging hand out, “Why do you always high five so hard?”

“The game’s almost done,” the teenager warns.

You turn and deflate at the sight of ten targets still standing, confidence leaving your body in one fell swoop. You have about twenty seconds to shoot the last targets, and you wilt, knowing that’s absolutely not going to happen. You gaze sadly at the stuffed whale hanging from the awning. 

Joel, noticing your disappointment, grabs his own pistol and fires off at his targets, each painted bullseye flinging back as the water hits it, the targets dropping one by one in quick succession. Even the moving ones he finds easily, spraying them with firm focus, eyebrows furrowed over his hard eyes. 

He finishes with five seconds to spare, and a smirk on his lips. He makes a show to pretend to blow smoke away from the water gun’s barrel, and you can't help but laugh. You never see him this goofy, and it makes your body tingle with happiness.

The booth manager rolls his eyes and gets the whale down, handing it to Joel. You give him the biggest puppy eyes you can manage, lips puckered in a pout, and you can see the moment it hits him right in the heart, his smile growing soft, the way he looks away from you, turning to try and hide it. But he can’t, and you tremble at the sight feeling so full, so warm. 

“Come on, Joel. I’m never going to be as good as you–which by the way, where the fuck did you learn to do that?” You say, grabbing the tail of the whale and tugging. 

"Growin' up on a farm, darlin'. Tommy was always wantin' to shoot the ducks."

"Ah, so you're a master at duck hunting, huh?"

He shrugs. "You could say that."

He tugs the whale away from your grasp, gesturing to the booth. "Alright, one more game. Come on baby, you can do it."

You groan, and he hands another dollar over. The kid looks even more bored. Maybe even annoyed at this point. You don't blame him. You grab the pistol, and get to shooting, not without spraying some water at Joel first. He doesn’t even flinch.

Five targets later (you never could get the full ten), you're whooping and hollering as the kid hands you a fluffy monkey plushie.

"There we go!" Joel praises. “Nice goin’ peach!”

You do a little happy dance, not caring if you look ridiculous, and Joel tucks you into his side, throwing another dollar bill at the apathetic teen.

“For your patience,” he says. You giggle loudly into your palm.

“I don’t get paid enough to be here,” the kid mumbles as Joel tugs you away and back through the carnival.

You look up at him, taking in his carefree expression, the content smile on his face, and the way the lights flash off his eyes, making them sparkle. His strong arm is wrapped around your waist, your cheek pressed into his shoulder.

“Finally having fun?”

He looks down at you, eyebrow quirking. “What’d’ya mean? I’ve been havin’ fun this whole time.”

You stop, pulling back to really look at him, blinking in disbelief. “What? But you’ve seemed so… upset. The rollercoasters, the funnel cake...the animals."

Joel’s smile slips, and a clear sincerity takes hold in his eyes. “Darlin’ none of that matters to me. Just bein’ with you is enough to make anythin’ fun.”

“Oh,” is all you can say, nerves thrumming, mind racing.

“I’m sorry I made you feel otherwise, I'm not very good with emotions," he says, threading his fingers with yours, and your heart stutters. You knew that. He’s always been a closed book, and even if he does decide to be more open, it can be hard to truly decipher how he feels. Though he’s always quick to assure you that you mean everything to him.

“I’ll ride a damn rollercoaster with you anytime if you really want me to.”

This is why you love him so damn much.

You beam, though it turns teasing, “Thanks, Joel, but I don’t want to hurt you.” You poke his lower back.

Joel chuckles. “My back is fine. I’m just scared.”

“Oh really? Finally admitting it, Miller?“

"You know I struggle with admitting my flaws, darlin'."

"Right, because you hardly have any."

"Exactly."

"Well, anyway, I have an idea."

"Do ya now?”

You drag him toward the giant ferris wheel stretching high into the sky, the neon lights climbing its spokes flashing excitedly, drawing the carnival goers in.

You settle in a seat with Joel next to you, though because of the long line, you're forced to be seated with another couple across the way. An older couple, with matching t-shirts and candy necklaces.

"Hey there!" The woman chirps. "What a lovely night, ain't it?"

Joel nods awkwardly, "Sure is."

"It's beautiful," you add.

It truly is, a gentle breeze stirs the warm air, driving away mosquitos and the Texan humidity. The navy sky is clear, only a few fluffy clouds sprinkled about. You’d spend the entire night out here if you could.

"I'm Sharon, my husband Burt and I have been comin' to this carnival for the past fifty years," she says, gesturing to the man in overalls beside her.

"That's amazing," you say honestly. "I’d like to have a tradition like that, too.”

You tell her your and Joel’s names, ignoring the latter’s pleading glance at you by smiling at Sharon and Burt and complimenting their matching shirts.

Burt's says: Nothing Sense We're and hers says: Makes When Apart.

You despise the shirts deeply, but you might as well be friendly to the people you'll be stuck with for the next fifteen minutes.

"Thanks darlin'! Are you two a couple?"

You take Joel's hand, "Yep! Finally reeled this slippery fish in."

"Jesus Christ," Joel grumbles under his breath. You try not to laugh.

"Older men, so evasive, am I right?" Sharon whispers, a hand coming up to shield her mouth from her husband, as if he can't hear her in this tiny space.

"I hear you, sister.”

Joel rubs his thumb and forefinger against his temple.

"Well, enjoy your ride," she beams. "Just beware, my hubby gets gassy when we get halfway up."

You choke on a shocked laugh, your palm slapping over your lips. You lean into Joel, eyes wide, who looks green once again.

"Oh my god," you hiss to him.

"Now look what you've done. We're 'bout to get chloroformed by farts."

You can’t hide your laugh this time, “Joel!"

The ferris wheel jerks, and Joel's hand tightens around yours as it begins to ascend. You notice the tick in his jaw, the way his gaze pointedly darts from the spokes of the wheel to the pole in the center of the seat and back.

"Are you scared of ferris wheels too?" You ask.

"No," he hisses. "I'm scared of state carnival ferris wheels. They set this piece of shit up in three days. How can you even trust it?"

"I just like to think about possible ways I'd survive it."

"Yeah, like what? Grabbing onto the pole and just hanging there 'til they get ya?"

"Exactly, see, it'll be fine."

"That's if the whole thing doesn't detach."

"I think it's more likely we'll die from suffocating by old man farts than this thing detaching."

That gets a laugh out of Joel, and his gaze finally finds the land stretching out beneath you as the ferris wheel rises. The moon hangs high above the clouds, bright and full, and stars dot the dark sky like jewels sewn on a blanket. The breeze ruffles his hair, and you wish to run your hands through it.

"This is nice," he says. "I'm glad I came out here with you."

"You didn't have much of a choice, but I'm glad you're enjoying it."

You hear the man across from you pass gas, and you hide a grimace.

Joel leans in to whisper in your ear, his breath ghosting over your sensitive skin making you shiver. "This would be pretty romantic if it weren't for Mr. and Mrs. Clause over there."

"Watch it, you'll be approaching that age soon."

"I've got at least twenty years, peach. Maybe you'll be sick of me by then."

"Oh no," you shake your head, looking earnestly into his eyes. "I'll gratefully smell your farts 'til the end, Joel."

"You're messed up," he grimaces.

You just smile at him, and he grins back, his arm slung over the back of the seat, his thumb massaging your neck, and you melt into him, content to watch the world shrink as you near the top.

Eventually the ferris wheel comes to a stop at the top, and you gaze out across the dark world, head resting on Joel's shoulder. He pulls you in close.

"It's time for the kiss!" Sharon exclaims, grabbing Burt's fraying overalls and tugging him in to plant a kiss right on his lips. He melts right into her, and in mere seconds, you and Joel are witness to a geriatric couple making out.

"Ain't this somethin'," Joel says.

"Oh. My. God."

Sharon pulls back after a good thirty seconds, and turns to you and Joel. "Alright! Your turn!"

"Oh no, that's okay," you say, waving your hand. Joel is private in his affections, though his little show at the target booth earlier might say otherwise. Generally, he prefers keeping you to himself.

But tonight, he's full of surprises.

"C'mon, peach. Let's do it. Let’s give these kind folks a show, like they did for us."

"Yes! He gets it!" Sharon bounces excitedly. "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

You've been wanting to kiss him all night, so you're really not against it. Though, it's still weird, and you give Joel a pained look.

"I'll give you the whale for this," he promises.

"And the bear," you argue.

"Fine. And the bear."

You grin, and then his hand is at the back of your neck, pulling you in, his nose brushing your cheek as he slots your lips together. He tastes like funnel cake and cotton candy and you honestly don't want this night to end.

Your eyes flutter shut as he adjusts you to deepen the kiss, his tongue swiping across your bottom lip. Your hands plant on his chest, nails digging into the fabric stretching over his firm pecs.

"Woo! Yeah! Kiss her hard! Kiss her really good.”

Your lip is still caught between his teeth when Joel slowly pulls away, eyes trained angrily on Sharon and Burt. He clears his throat as leans back in his seat, and you avoid eye contact with the very strange couple across from you. Joel's hand is hot on your exposed thigh, and now you really wish you weren't fifty feet in the air stuck with some very questionable folks.

Finally, five minutes later you touch the ground again.

"Y'all have fun now!" Sharon squeaks and steers Burt toward the cowboy-themed carousel.

"Have a good night you two," Joel says, faintly as they beeline away from you, almost like you were the weird ones.

He hands you the whale but holds the bear for you as you make your way back to Joel's pickup.

"Well, that was something," you say.

"I don't think I'll get that image out of my head. Or the smell," Joel's nose scrunches.

You stop, turning toward him. "I'm sorry about this. I thought it would be fun. We'd play games and share a romantic kiss on the ferris wheel and feed the animals-"

The words fade as Joel's palm settles on your cheek, his thumb running across your bottom lip, his other hand landing on your waist. "Darlin', we did all of that."

"Yeah, but it all sucked. I can't shoot for shit. And you don't like the animals being all cooped up, and then Sharon and Burt practically eating each other in front of us, then getting turned on by our kissing? You don't think I saw Burt's hard-on?"

His eyes widen in disgusted shock. "His what?"

Your eyes well up. "I’m sorry, Joel."

He shakes his head, pulling you into his chest. "Peach, I had a great time. I love doing whatever you love. I love you, okay? So next year, you can drag me out here again and we can be Sharon and Burt's spank bank material and I'll enjoy it just as much as I did today."

Your laugh is watery against his chest, and he tilts your chin up to softly press his lips against yours again, this time shielded from the hungry gaze of strange old people. He thumbs away your tears.

"By the way," he whispers against your lips. "I liked watchin' you fail at shootin'. It's cute."

You glare half-heartedly at him, pushing him off of you and rounding to the passenger side of the truck. "I always knew you were into humiliation."

"Maybe we should try it, just to know for sure," he smirks, leaning against the door frame, towering over you.

You look him up and down, eyeing the muscles of his forearms and the way his t-shirt stretches across his broad chest. Your voice comes out lower than you expect it to.

“Get in the damn truck, Miller."

"Yes ma'am."

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #28 – The Dead Take The A Train by Cassandra Khaw and Richard Kadrey

Oh I wanted to love this book so very much. On paper it’s basically made for me – incredibly messy fuckup of a heroine, cosmic horror through the idiom of wall street corporate sharks, grimy and gory urban fantasy full of knifing people in back alleys, the works! For the first fifty pages or so, I thought I was in love – which just made the disappointment as the wheels came off all the more bitter.

The book follows Julie, ‘barbed wire magician’ (it’s at least as unpleasant as it sounds), professional monster hunter, and all-around personal disaster. Her life takes a turn for the even messier when a) her best friend/comically oversized unresolved crush shows up at her door begging for help running from her abusive husband and b) unrelatededly but more or less simultaneously, her ex-partner-and-also-boyfriend, looking up to clean up embarrassing loose ends on his rise up the elldritch corporate ladder, baits her into trying to summon a guardian angel from a sabotaged tome and ends up releasing a metaphysical parasite that starts murdering its way through the city’s occult underground. From there things just get messier.

Drilling down as much as I can, my issues with this can be summed up as it feels like a first draft. There’s stuff there on the page – character arcs, relationships, bits of scenery and action setpieces, even themes! - but it’s all just..there. Exaggerated line sketches no one ever went back and turned into full illustrations. It’s most painful with the characters – every one of them is a caricature, precisely and exactly what they first appear to be with the same beats hit again and again every single time they appear on screen. Which more or less for the quirky supporting cast but like – we get multiple chapters from the perspective of the aforementioned abusive husband, and something like a fifth of the book is from the POV of the sleazy corporate striver ex. At no point does either one get the slightest bit of nuance or pathos – Tyler’s chapters in particular end up reading like bad SCP field reports, with so much self-destructive instituional backstabbing and betrayal it all ends up being slapstick.

Sarah the love interest gets a special anti-shout-out here. Like, I know I’m just picky about and have a low tolerance for romances, but I swear – the single most important dynamic in the book in terms of both wordcount and narrative signposting is her and Julie’s romance, and it is just So. Bad. Every single scene she’s in is dedicated to rubbing your face in how fragile and traumatized and selfless and adorable and good-hearted and damaged she is, and the entirety of the romance is essentially one of those jokes about how lesbians will spend six years living with each other awkwardly waiting for the other to ask them out but stretched across 400 pages. I spent half the book patiently waiting for any hint of hidden depths or surprising twists to her character, but nope! Just a perfect domestic angel.

The setting actually has something of a similar issue. It feels like an exaggerated pastiche of urban fantasy, assuming the reader is already familiar with all the tropes and conceits and making only the most perfunctory possible gestures towards exploring or justifying them. This can absolutely work, but if you’re doing it you kind of need to use the genre as the background or setup for something else that the book is actually about – deconstruction or satire or character study or Wacky Hijinks or something. When what’s gruesome action and drama is supposed to be the star attraction, the grounding and verisimilitude of the world is actually pretty key.

A really tight, tense plot could have absolutely redeemed the whole but, well, nope. The literal entire plot hinges on Tyler, in the course of one conversation several drinks in at a crowded bar, baiting Julie into looking for a particular type of tome from a particular store so she’ll try the ritual he had swapped out with one to curse her – but then also that he didn’t know what the ritual he swapped in actually did. The big evil wall street law firm has a corporate culture that should have collapsed about 48 hours after it was founded, and absolutely nothing about it makes sense for a place with lasting institutional power. Everyone’s morality and perceptiveness changes as the plot requires. The pacing feels like they had to pull a happy ending out of their asses at the 2/3 mark and shove the rest of the book into a sequel. It’s just, it’s bad!

Also the prose starts at fun and evocative and keeps pushing into Lovecraftian levels of adjective-addiction, and neither the A-Train nor the dead are actually at all important to the story.

Just, argh. This could have been good! The first 40 pages were a really fun schlocky monster-of-the-week story! The first ritual summoning the Proctor was basically perfect! I wanted to love this!

[nyaagolor]

Now that you’ve played through all the episodes, how would you rank them?

Oooo this is tough, in part bc I like all of them a LOT. The designations between a few of them, especially in the middle category, are gonna be kinda arbitrary, but I'll do my best :)

Also this got stupid long so I put it under a readmore! Spoilers abound, as one might expect

8. Dawn of the Golden Witch (Episode 6)

I have some... mixed feelings on this one. I understand what Ryukishi was going for in using chick-Beato and Battler's interactions to parallel Battler with Kinzo and show Kinzo's dynamic with Kuwadorian Beatrice via analogy, but I also think it kinda fumbles a bit. There are points (cookie scene being a big one) where I feel like the characters take a backseat to the themes and the whole narrative feels off. Chapters 5 and 6 are supposed to be a perversion of the original story that Beatrice has lost control over, but there are points during 6 especially where I think it kinda loses itself. The rest of it is great (Erika's VA is a goddamn champion) but the very beginning of this chapter is easily my least favorite part of the series

7. Requiem of the Golden Witch (Episode 7)

I don't really have strong feelings on this episode. It would have been the high point in just about any other VN, but Umineko is so consistently fantastic that Episode 7 didn't really hit me as hard as the others. It did make me wish we got more Kyrie though, even if I know exactly why she wasn't as prominent as many of the others. Kind of insane that my second least-favorite arc is something I would rank like an 8 or 9 out of 10, Umineko is just that goated (get it???)

6. Turn of the Golden Witch (Episode 2)

While I do love watching the worst woman ever conceived have a 48 hour progressive mental breakdown, Alliance hits every point I like about the Rosa / Maria dynamic but does it better. It's still an arc I absolutely adore, so it feels weird to rank it so low, but I think about it a lot less than the other arcs so down here it goes. Shoutout to this arc for making me laugh to the point I could no longer speak not once, but twice. Kanon chuuni jacket and leashed Battler you will always be famous

5. Twilight of the Golden Witch (Episode 8)

I know that ranking episode 8 in the bottom half sounds like sacrilege but this arc had so much Kinzo and while I understand his narrative importance I Do Not Like Him. The fact that Kinzo is in the Golden Land but Kuwadorian Beatrice isn't makes me want to throw bricks at things. Other than that though, absolutely stellar. I bawled at the ending. The next day I thought about it more, misinterpreted it, and cried more, then I thought about it more deeply and talked with friends, really started to understand the core messages, and sobbed even harder. As these things tend to go. This episode ruined my life. Would recommend.

4. Legend of the Golden Witch (Episode 1)

note: 4 and 3 are interchangeable I like them both a lot for different reasons

The first time I read this episode, I thought it was great. The further I got into Umineko, the better it got. Now, with a full understanding of the plot and knowing how this chapter serves as self-reflection through the other (Sayo via Natsuhi) it serves as probably the most raw glimpse into Sayo's mindset we get. This episode ruins me and I'm pretty sure when I inevitably reread it I am going to dissolve into a puddle of goo. Also Natsuhi is there and she's my favorite of the matriarchs so I'm a little bit biased :)

3. Banquet of the Golden Witch (Episode 3)

This is one of the funniest pieces of literature I have ever read in my life. EVA-Beatrice, the entire sob story (that I, like Battler, fell for completely), the two towers fight scene... 10/10 no notes. I don't even have the words for how much I adored this one. I wish I could read it again for the first time.

2. Alliance of the Golden Witch (Episode 4)

Ok so fun fact I thought this arc was kinda boring at first, and was a little miffed I had to constantly go through Ange's little side quests when I just wanted to see Beatrice and Battler again. Fortunately, Ryukishi has a beautiful way of changing my mind very very quickly and the more I think about this Episode the more I love it. It has some of the most powerful emotional moments, a really good rehashing of the themes, and is a lot tighter and more condensed than I gave it credit for. There's a LOT that happens in this chapter, and it's been growing on me a lot-- while it doesn't take the number one spot in terms of my favorites, I do think it's the best written of the 8 episodes. As a bonus it focuses a lot on Maria who is one of the best characters ever and my darling baby angel.

End of the Golden Witch (Episode 5)

This is the platonic ideal of Umineko to me. The layers of metanarrative, the perversion of a formula to reiterate its structure, the use of genre conventions as a dual-use in-universe and metanarrative element, Erika. End of the Golden Witch is when I changed from someone who loved Umineko to someone who was obsessed with Umineko. The ending is one of the most visceral parts of the VN and I will fully admit I cried. There is so much happening in this episode I could talk about it all day. Also Natsuhi is there. Hey girlie <3

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Analysing my favourite lines from Six of Crows chapter by chapter: Chapter 3

As before, if there are any famous/popular lines missing it’s not because I don’t like them it’s just because I have nothing more to add to the analyses/ideas already present about them in the fandom. And if there are quotes that I haven’t analysed that’s just because I wanted to include it as a favourite quote but didn’t have anything to say explanation-wise.

This is a long chapter, so I’ll see how this goes and maybe split it into two parts.

“It would have been easy to make peace. Kaz could have told Jesper that he knew he wasn’t dirty, reminded him that he'd trusted him enough to make him his only real second in a fight that could have gone badly wrong tonight."

- this is really important for me because it tells us so much about Kaz and Jesper’s relationship in so few words, as well as telling us about the characters individually as well. Kaz trusts Jesper but he can’t tell him that and keeps him at arms length: we understand that Kaz has intimacy and/or commitment issues in both platonic and romantic relationships (since at this point in time the nature of their relationship hasn’t been explored but is presented as platonic, and Kaz had not been specifically stated to have a romantic interest this early on we as the reader make early assumptions). The specificity of the verb “knew” is SO important to me as well, because we have just seen Kaz have Big Bolliger shot in the stomach on the suspicion he was dirty based on a hunch about him going to a different cafe for breakfast but he ‘knows’ with complete certainty that Jesper is absolutely trustworthy. So within barely a paragraph of Kaz’s first POV chapter we understand that Jesper, even if their relationship is complex or rocky, is incredibly important to him and that he has considerable faith in him. The choice to not “make peace”, however, even though “it would have been easy” tells us that Kaz either feels the active need to keep Jesper at a distance or is incapable of expressing the closeness he feels in their friendship. Obviously later we’re able to learn that these are both true in their own way, but the importance of it in this moment is that we are immediately tuned in to Kaz’s fear of emotional connection and invested in understanding why this is, or exactly what he struggled with. Six of Crows is a novel I’d consider to be well balanced between plot-driven and character-driven, but I definitely think that these opening chapters are very character driven so this kind of set up is what pulls us into the book and makes us desperate to keep reading.

“ ‘Another bribe?’

‘I’m a creature of habit’

‘Lucky for you, I am too’ ”

“If you couldn’t walk out by yourself through Ketterdam after dark, then you might as well hang a sign around your neck that read “soft” and lie down for a beating” - I don’t know that I can coherently explain this I just love it; the worldbuilding??? the start of this brilliant presentation of the city as effectively it’s own character, which is one of my favourite things Bardugo does in her descriptions of Ketterdam?? The character implications about Kaz??? The way it ties into his initial judgements of Wylan!???? Perfection

“He realised he felt… Saints, he almost felt hopeful. Maybe he should see a medik” - I just love this so much, it’s so funny and it’s so quintessentially Kaz, I absolutely adore it

“Usually, he liked the quiet. In fact, he would’ve happily sewn most people’s lips shut” - we should talk about this quote more as a fandom, you know, because it’s brilliant and it’s so funny and again it’s just so brilliantly Kaz in the opening pages of his perspective we get so much information about his worldview and understand him to be quite a humorous character despite the initial appearance of him from Inej’s POV. As the novels go on we see the others notice his jokes more often, but in that introductory chapter it was incredibly important that the reader received the same image of Kaz that the Black Tips did, so now we get to be introduced to the closest thing to a real version of Kaz. I think there’s still a prevalent understanding that we’re seeing a mask, but this feels more real than Dirtyhands does… if that makes sense? I could be rambling about nonsense

"He'd heard other members of the gang say she moved like a cat, but he suspected cats would sit attentively at her feet to learn her methods" - this is just such a brilliant description of what Inej can do, it gives us such a clear image without having to overexplain anything and it also introduces us to this idea of Kaz putting her on a pedestal.

' "And what god do you serve, then?"

"Whichever will grant me good fortune"

"I don't think gods work that way,"

"I don't think I care," '

"He didn't see her go, only sensed her absence" - I can't explain it but something about this is so achingly romantic to me.

"But the fact that she could simply erase herself bothered him. She didn't even have a scent. All people carried scents, and those scents told stories -" - It wasn't until someone asked me to make a post about this quote that I really thought about it and realised why it has always stuck out to me. You can see the post on my page if you're interested, but in essence I think it's really important that Kaz struggles with any sense of permanence, so the idea that the one person he cares about more than anything else in the world could vanish so completely, as though she never even existed in the first place, is genuinely frightening - especially to a boy who several times in these novels fears that he has begun to hallucinate. Kaz seems very aware that he's on the edge of something he identifies as going mad, and the concept of visual and auditory hallucinations - Jordie's voice in his head, the panic at thinking he must have hallucinated when he first sees a Tidemaker walk through a wall, the immediate fear of being attacked by a ghost, etc - is something that constantly chases him. Kaz has also spent the last 8 years of his life living in a world that continued on as though his brother never existed, the salt in the wound being that not even Rollins remembers them, so the awareness of that happening to Inej, someone he has come to care for in a way that is entirely new and incredibly overwhelming for him - "there would be no grand funerals for them, no marble markers to remember their names" "What will you leave behind, but corpses to be burned on the Reaper's Barge?" "Out to the Reaper's Barge for burning, like all paupers go" - is a deeply upsetting. This then becomes a parallel with Kaz specifically noting that he can smell soap on her in the Crooked Kingdom Bathroom Scene; in this moment she us cemented so strongly in view and becomes the tether between Kaz and his sanity by continuing to so obstinately exist in a world that doesn't seem to want her to.

"Ghosts, Kaz thought. A boy's fear, but it came with absolute surety. Jordie had come for his vengeance at last" - oh my goodness there's so much to unpack here. I have talked about this a bit before, I think it was in my (very long) post about the potential for Wylan and Kaz to become each other, but it is SO important to look at this quote and remember that when we first read it we haven't the faintest idea who Jordie is or what happened to him. With the ousting of Big Bolliger and all the talk about your gang being your family and that even if you're a liar and a thief, you don't lie to or steal from your own gang, my initial assumption upon reading this was that Jordie had once been in a gang with Kaz, one of them had betrayed the other, and it had ended with Kaz murdering him. But, of course, this is very far from the truth and this tells us so much heart-breaking information about the fact that Kaz blames himself for what happened to them. He wonders later what might have happened to them if he hadn't insisted they go and find the magician that was the first step leading them to Rollins and to Jordie's death, but we never get anything about Kaz blaming himself quite as outrightly as this, the rest of it is usually just implied. So why show us this now? I would argue because this is how Kaz genuinely feels and in the moment he thinks it he is too terrified, confused, and to some extent concerned for his sanity to push the feeling away. Everything we see beyond this point id the construct that he has convinced himself is how he feels: that it's Rollins' fault. Obviously Rollins is at least partially to blame for Jordie's death, but if I may quote myself from a previous post It's the city that kills him, Rollins is just the weapon it chooses. Jordie even says it himself - "The city's winning now, but you'll see who wins in the end". Kaz's genuine belief is that Jordie's death is his fault, but he is in far too fragile a mental state to cope with that truth (and when I say truth I mean the that it's the truth he believes that, not that it;s the truth it's his fualt because he was jsut a nine-year-old who wanted to see a magician that's a more than innocent act and, again, he was nine) so he instead exists within a façade that he has built for himself - even on top of the one he's built for everyone else. We also see a hatred of the feeling towards blaming Jordie later on in the novels, and this is incredibly important. It's almost as if the idea that it's his fault isn't even the truth, but that's a façade to overcome the ultimate horror of seeing Jordie as accountable for it all - "What do you think my forgiveness looks like Jordie?". But ultimately, this is still the warped view of the world instilled in Kaz and so many of the other citizens of Ketterdam, possibly Kerch as a whole, arguably placing the city and its infrastructure as the ultimate villain rather than the tools of it. (Wherein the tools are Rollins and Van Eck).

"The phantom was upon him, and he felt the sharp jab of a needle in his neck. A ghost with a syringe?" - This is just so funny I love it so much I think I've read SOC and CK near to twenty times each now and this still makes me laugh every damn time.

I'm going to split this into two parts from here because this is the splitting point in the chapter and this is already a pretty long post. Thanks so much for reading this, sorry it's been a while for me to post it. I'm loving this line-by-line analysis series already (I know this is only the second post but I'm still excited) but they do take a long time to put together, particularly because at this time I don't currently have an annotated version of either book. Although I am planning to buy fresh copies for the purposes of annotating them when I get the opportunity, I currently don't have my ideas recorded anywhere except this account so whenever I write a post I'm working entirely from memory beyond the actual quotes themselves (and sometimes including them too haha) or even coming up with new ideas as I write. Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it, and if you have any questions please keep sending them in I know I haven't responded to any for a little while but I love getting them and I am working through my inbox, if a bit slowly :)

[flowerflamestars]

This popped into my head while typing up the other thing. What do the Illyrians think of Lucien at this point? Here's this high fae noble, a High Lord's son, a High Lord's HEIR, and he's just... risking his life for a bunch of humans? Is following the human ladies' lead in all this? Doesn't seem to be looking down on them? Like, that's not how this usually works? (Just imagine when they find out Lucien was willing to leave his cushy princely life behind to elope with his 'lesser' fae lover.)

(Well, honestly, I kinda want to know what they think about basically everyone.)

Oh man, I love that you're asking this! It's very much in the background to the plot, but it's there because I adore the fuck out of Lucien.

So, the initial thing is that our trio have stepped fully off their own charted- and planned and plotted and hoped for- path. At BEST the thought was mercenaries or Azriel + Cassian and maybe, maybe, a few allies of theirs. A whole legion? That their actual government doesn't even want back? Insane.

They're tapping into just the very edge of what this loyalty could be. What it will become. What it is even is. (Cassian is absolutely trying to warn Nesta and she's extremely busy being like: I am BETTER THAN RHYSAND THAT STUPID BITCH stop even comparing us.)

That loyalty is to the Archerons.

Lucien is and isn't one. He married in, but he's still High Fae. Noble born High fae, at that. The larger House Vanserra dramas might be well known to the IC who are also nobility (and put up with Rhysand's Spring Court grudge match eternal), but to the Illyrians? No. They live in this fucked up isolation. Lucien is a wildcard!

And, coming from the already fucked up perspective gained from just living under the Night Court caste system bullshit, Lucien is a massive threat. They've thrown in with the Archerons for the chance of a chance. That when humans do horrible things, ask too much, it might still be less than what their own people under High Fae rule have been forced to endure.

I know Elain's guards are side-eyeing the hell out of this situation. Who do they protect? Their tiny mortal ladies, or each other from possible punishment for interfering? Honor is at stake, and honor is all you have when you're denied even a name.

Lucien can't defuse that kind of hostility overnight. There's too much going on to really focus on it, but that doesn't stop it from churning away in the back of his head. He's certainly never known any Illyrians before by anything but a reputation which ALSO does not seem exactly...true? Wholly correct? Court faeries definitely also fuck around with the concept of fealty- a quest, a riddle, a ladies favour, all prime gentry nonsense- the Illyrians are meanwhile bringing a tension to that that is staggering.

Lucien himself pledged his life away to a leigelord and a territory he didn't belong in just to live. He's banished from his own homeland, an unloved, too powerful seventh son who maybe should never have been born.

But Beron never starved him.

Hated and hurt him and littered his childhood with horror sure, Lucien grew up reviled. As a prince. As a Vanserra. No one imagined taking that from him.

The more he sees the more fucking furious he is.

That also does not escape notice. Tiny human ladies making threats they can't follow through- until they CAN and do- is one thing. This calm, respectful fucking Prince?? Lord of their House? Ridiculously magical faery terrifyingly seething and seething away but never hurting any of them until it slowly, slowly becomes clear they are the cause of the anger but not the actual direction is the thing that makes waves.

[boopboops22]

*breaks down door* BOOK HUSBANDS

Oh no my door- BOOK HUSBANDS!!! Dude omg I've been thinking about them nonstop, here's some ramblings of ideas I have about them:

In my head they're in a sort of QPR, they love eachother but their expression of it has been strained and definitely not typical human romance yk.

After the Armageddindnt, Crowley pushes the boundaries of their relationship and tests what they haven't allowed themselves to have. He's too fearful of the other shoe dropping to do everything he wants to do, but he is definitely being just affectionate enough to drive Aziraphale mad. Aziraphale finally says fuck it and takes that proper leap that Crowley was to scared to take.

In my head Aziraphale taking that leap is what propells them into being openly affectionate and eventually getting a cottage ehehe

I adore Crowley and Aziraphale being simultaneous cowards and brave in opposite ways. Crowley taking the first step but too nervous to push further than that, meanwhile Aziraphale will stall that first step forever before absolutely barreling through. Just them being equal and opposite in the best ways to balance eachother out <3

I also think about how Crowley was So Terrified when Adam saw through him.... just like, him knowing he's good and kind and loves an angel and is so so scared of anyone knowing. But when Aziraphale points out that he's good he doesn't do anything other than kvetching a bit.

Also also also auhg.!! When Aziraphale runs into the bookshop and leaves Crowley at the car and it says "Crowley suddenly felt very alone" (or somth I can't remember exactly) that shit broke my heart!!!!

They're their only freinds and people they can trust and they love eachother so much and I need them to live happily ever after in a cottage

I've had an idea for what s2's plot events might look like in the book universe and I fear it will be stuck in WIP hell forever and ever along with my other few fics I've tried to write 😔

What are some of your fav book husbands things?? I adore all you art of them, btw!! It's always so sweet :-)

[susandsnell]

For the ship thing I want to hear more of your opinions on modern harlivy

Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it

Hiya Payts!

A lot of my modern Harlivy takes are covered in point 2 on this post; TLDR though is that modern Harlivy, despite being allowed to be more canon and visible, ended up being made very boring and one-note due to being the flagship of DC's LGBT+ representation and hence held to the absolutely miserable, flattening standard that is Good Representation. If they aren't being in-universe titillation for cishet men because Girl on Girl Is Hot And For The Male Gaze, actually, they're basically boiled down to a handful of sapphic Pinterest aesthetics of "chaotic girl liker" and "be gay do crimes" and "cutesy date scenarios", and they both kind of lose their original personalities as a result?

Like a lot of their most compelling content was when they were relegated to a more subtextual relationship because they still felt like them, but now it's just Cheerful Wacky Harley and Sarcastic Grouchy Ivy Rolling Her Eyes at antics and they're not allowed anything deeper than that, for fear of any kind of controversy. And in fairness, criticisms of sapphic ships and the insane standards of purity to which they are held are an absolute minefield due to the one-two punch of Sapphics Are Mean For Not (only) Dating Men stereotypes and misogyny wherein male villains can be as dastardly as they please and are loved for it whereas female villains have to get the anti-hero treatment or they're Problematique. I remember ages of awful takes about how Ivy is As Bad And Abusive To Harley As The Joker because of things like cartoon slapstick fighting with Harley/calling her dumb exactly one time for getting them caught by GCPD. And we both saw the hellscape that was Catradora discourse. People throw tantrums on the daily over children's cartoons like Owl House because a lesbian was a slightly rude middle schooler. People will not only give the pass but adore messy, toxic, complex mlm love stories like Interview With the Vampire and NBC's Hannibal, but anything in mainstream media depicting a sapphic relationship with more nuance or flaws than a Pride month Sears commercial is beyond what anyone can handle.

But the fallout of this is that Harlivy finally has the chance to be canon and it's, as I said, the corporate Pride version of itself. These are two highly intelligent, deeply flawed women in their thirties with complex histories, past relationships, and unresolved traumas, who are both ICONIC VILLAINS IN THE ROGUES' GALLERY, and modern stories don't seem to want to let them be anything beyond sex-crazed hormonal teenagers whose biggest issue is really basic communication (but not as a result of difficulties from their pasts, ever, so much as it is plot contrivances), whose connection to one another is flattened so much as to almost be little more beyond how cutesy they look posing together in lingerie that looks like their villain costumes. And that's because writers, critics, and audiences alike won't let them be anything more than that, and that's a damn shame.

[raccoonfallsharder]

Window Across the Galaxy ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*

masterlist

18+ only MDNI | rocket x f!oc | 27/27 chapters | COMPLETE | word count: 235,940.

girl falls first; raccoon falls harder.

Rocket is captured by a Ravager crew hoping to get rich off the excessively large bounty on his head. Throwing a wrench in everyone’s plans is the Terran girl they hired to do some freelance assessing on a recent haul of goods they’ve seized from a Xandaran luxury liner. Oops.

slight AU starting pre-GOTG volume 1 (but will hit most of the same major plot points). slow burn + eventual smut with a lot of pining in the middle. kinda enemies-to-lovers? (but only one of these idiots thinks they're enemies).

let me be real with you: this fic is really about wish-fulfillment. not just the eventual smut (but that too). mostly i just want someone to be nice to my best boy raccoon back to main masterlist.

so many amazing sweet wonderful readers have drawn fanart of this fic??? ♡♡♡♡♡ jolie is written without much physical description so you can imagine whatever you want but if you'd like to see how i and others imagine her, i've linked them below. thank you for being the absolute sweetest.

jolie's painting of rocket by @hibataao3 makes me cry every time i look at it

very first portrait of jolie by @raccoonmybeloved ~ so fucking cute i died

sims of jo by @evolvingchaoswitch ~ particularly love her paint-spattered outfit

an absolutely drool-worthy nsfw of rocket & jolie by @lazarel-3000 that permanently has altered my brain chemistry and lives in my mind forever ♡♡♡

adorable jolie sketches by @moonnpiie that truly capture what i mean when i describe jo as having “everywhere-hair.” plus her lil art-glove! (and a really cute rocket)

the cutest jo by @frostedwitch in her chapter xxvii sweatshirt. she is so cute with such shiny eyes and cute freckles and i love her so so so much! ♡♡♡

this shiny-haired jo by @miinsie! i love her hair so much in this one - it almost looks iridescent. i swoon. thank you for taking the time to read and to share this lovely interpretation of jolie with me!

and here are my jolie character concepts (complete full-color illo & rough doodles) and an illustration of one of my fave scenes from window ♡

✧･ﾟ:*collects Chapters I-XXVII (below the cut) & a holiday special && a silly epilogue

Chapter I. A Delicacy. in which our reluctant heroes meet atop a crate of Sovereign porn in the bowels of a Ravager ship.

Chapter II. Monster For A Pet. in which one hero wrestles with his inner Groot, and the other is quite possibly a moron.

Chapter III. A Kindness. in which Rocket gets in his own damn way: not for the first time, and certainly not for the last.

Chapter IV. Got There First. in which our heroes obtain an arsenal and street food.

Chapter V. Things No-One Has Said Before. in which one hero refuses to babysit and the other refuses to leave.

Chapter VI. Two and a Half Billion Units. in which we lean into the “they were roommates” trope. Jolie has misgivings, while Rocket has fantasies - about getting rich, of course.

Chapter VII. I'm Here. in which we visit Knowhere.

Chapter VIII. The Care & Feeding of Human Pets. in which our heroes practice breathing and we lean into a new trope: “there was (technically) one bed.”

Chapter IX. Scrapmetal and a Dream. in which we redefine homemaking.

Chapter X. Thin Fucking Ice. in which our heroes get fucked. Not in the good way.

Chapter XI. Let It Be .in which Xandar is saved and good lives are lost.

Chapter XII. So Much It Hurts. in which we try not to fuck up the vibes.

Chapter XIII. Don’t Wait. in which a lost sister is found and Drax grapples with the concept of sarcasm.

Chapter XIV. Exactly Like a Flower. in which comfort is shared.

Chapter XV: Galaxy-Breaking Shit. in which more comfort is shared, and life is good. Briefly.

Chapter XVI. Run. in which Rocket falls victim to his superstitions.

Chapter XVII. A Seedling. A Fox. A Little Girl. in which the party is divided.

Chapter XVIII. I Happen to Know a Guy. in which our heroes get fucked. Again. Still not in the good way.

Chapter XIX. He Was Loved. in which a planet is killed, a friend is made and lost, and nobody still has any frickin’ tape.

Chapter XX. Some Nerve. * in which an ultimatum is given.

Chapter XXI. I Very Still. ❤︎❤︎ in which our heroes get fucked. In the good way, this time. Finally.

Chapter XXII. Got There Worse. ❤︎❤︎ in which Rocket does not say "I love you."

Chapter XXIII. We're Gonna Need a Bigger Table. ❤︎ in which the galaxy just keeps spinning.

Chapter XXIV. Space Would Be Better. ❤︎❤︎ in which Rocket ~ discreetly ~ claims the title of boyfriend.

Chapter XXV. Little Love Stories. in which both of our heroes learn a little about themselves. ❤︎

Chapter XXVI. Other Side of the Window. in which old friends are reunited. ❤︎

Chapter XXV. The Most Beautiful Thing in My House. in which our heroes finally get what they deserve.❤︎

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ Winter Across the Galaxy * ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ a holiday special *

Epilogue: Interviewing Rocket & Jo. ten years after Window ends. short, silly fluff.

explicit lines or references* abbreviated explicit sequences ❤︎ detailed/prolonged explicit sequences ❤︎❤︎

[scaly-freaks]

The wolf den is one of my favorite books. Really changed the way I write relationships and characters.

(Your) Amara is such a lovable character. You write her with so much love and your love and care for her really shines through in the story. Her vulnerabilities and strength makes her so easy to love and genuinely relate to. She’s a uch a cool and unique character. I’m a huge Amara fan

I’m absolutely loving Alys and Amara ! They’re so weird and adorable? That scene where Alys is acting all creepy imitating aegon and Amara’s like “omg that’s so cool I want to be a witch” was kind of wholesome. I know that Alys and Larys are probably playing some bigger game, but I’m hoping that Alys could be a friend to Amara.

And poor little Jaehaerys and jaehaera!!! As much as I believe that aegon genuinely loves his children, at this point he kind of sees them as cute toys and not as actual human beings. I’m not justifying him separating Amara from Jaehaera, but I also don’t think he understands the severity of his actions - for both Amara and jaehaera - who needs her mom!

Aegon leaving his kids to the nannies was so sad. Alicent’s gone and Amara is banned from seeing jaehaera. But Amara and Jaehaerys bonding was adorable.

Aegon is being his usual self, making everyone’s life miserable because he feels rejected by someone he loves. He’s really not as smart as he thinks he is. Getting a new lover to make Amara jealous? He has tried that before and it didn’t work!! He’s just reaffirming her belief that she shouldn’t let herself love him.

Aahh thank you so much :')

I hear so many i don't read OC fics and urgh I hate OC fics they're just author self-inserts so it made me a little 'eh' about it at first. I think OCs are fucking amazing, and they may start out as author self-inserts but as they experience more of the plot, they take on a life of their own, so I really don't understand the vitriol against them. Besides, all literature is author self-insert to an extent. It is coming out of someone's brain, and you expect it not to be coloured with who they are as a person? Don't be daft. Even y/n fiction is author self-insert because they're the ones writing it.

Though I suppose I understand any objections if the OC in question is a Targaryen sister/daughter, rides three dragons, kills Alicent and Alys Rivers and Aegon, rides Aemond, makes Rhaenyra queen, and then becomes queen herself.

Not to get kinky over the Alys-Amara thing (age gap...I support this one), but I had this vivid scene in my head where she and Amara...you know, do stuff, and in the middle of it, Alys starts speaking with Aegon's voice, so it's like he's there with them. And it wreaks havoc on Amara, and she orgasms almost immediately with Alys between her legs (and Aegon's voice down there too...okay I'll stop). Anyway, I bet Amara would be the first to try and suggest Alys fucks the pair of them together, and I don't know how Aegon feels about sharing but I hope he says yes (it'd be the first time he actually sees Amara being pleasured by someone else, whereas she's seen him literally pounding Mirian).

Aegon absolutely loves his children, and I think is afraid his inactivity in regards to them will turn him into Viserys 2.0. But being too proactive is also detrimental as we're now seeing. I do headcanon that both Jaehaera and Jaehaerys grow up to be very violent people, but they actively understand their father and in an almost sociopathic way, hide the worst of themselves from him so he never suspects a thing. Everyone else suffers, but Aegon of course believes his own kids (ironically, he does turn into Viserys but just takes a different road).

"Aegon is being his usual self, making everyone’s life miserable because he feels rejected by someone he loves." I love this because yep, exactly. He can be very clever when he wants to be, but not when he's clouded by love, and the need to be loved the way he loves others. He thinks just because someone isn't crawling all over him and whimpering and blubbering the way he devolves to, that means they don't love him as much. He's not good at empathy, which is something I wrote in specifically as part of his canon character being raised as a prince. It was just a bit of fun. Of course it was, Aegon. It was fun for you, but you don't understand how it couldn't possibly be fun for someone else.

I didn't want to fall into the trap of getting Amara to "fix" him though, so she makes her own mistakes in regards to his behaviour, and then suffers/makes him suffer. She still doesn't get why he acts the way he does, but sometimes it clicks and she does what's best for herself (as she should).

[roosterbox]

hey! found your blog the other day and i love it<3

do you have any arthut/eames fic recommendations? i rewatched the movie a week ago and can't stop thinking about them

(sorry about the wait!)

First of all, hey there! Hello! Glad you found me, and glad to know you liked Inception. Hard to believe that it’s still drawing so many people in, 14 years on.

Second of all…

Oh baby. Oh man. Not just fic recs, but A/E fic recs? Yesssssssss my time has come.

First, there are a couple of writers whose entire oeuvre you should definitely check out if you haven’t.

Lolahardy, whose Dreamhusbands work is vast and varied, but here are a few of my own favorites (important note: no links because Lola’s fics are currently locked, but they are easily findable if you have an AO3 account, and you should definitely check out all of them, not just the few I mentioned here!):

In Every Universe - the fic that will never die, lol. So many great A/E stories here, but for me, the biggest draw are the other JGL/TH ships contained within. My personal favorite is Forrest/Evelyn, who I almost love even more than A/E at this point. Also, so many tropes and kinks and whatnot. Safe to say, I’m positive you’ll find a lot of different things to enjoy!

Le Mal Du Pays - this one is just lovely. I reread it again for this rec list and boy… still amazing. The chapters set during canon are so good, it’s like watching the movie again, but with the added bonus of actual A/E in the plot, you know?

Love is Strange - A/E by way of Dirty Dancing! I love it when you can enjoy an AU based on a very specific property even without having seen said property. For example, I adore everything about this fic even though I have never watched DD, not even once, lol.

OneWhoSitsWithTurtles, whose A/E work is never anything less than stellar and beautiful, and regularly makes me cry. Also, they have works in other fandoms that are equally worth checking out!

Christmas Without You (Is a Christmas Not Worth Having) - the best. The pinnacle. If ever you (or anyone else, for that matter) were curious about what my favorite A/E fic of all time is? Here’s your answer.

Dream of Me - This one is just beautiful. A simple little somewhat canon-compliant love story. So sugary sweet at times, it runs the risk of being tooth-rotting. But I’m always willing to take that risk.

39 Days to Fall in Love - the survivor AU you didn’t know you were missing. Seriously, it’s so good it might make you want to watch Survivor if you haven’t already, even if you know there’s no Arthur or Eames in it, lol.

Lullaby - Hands down, the saddest A/E fic I have ever read, and certainly in the running for saddest fic period. Seriously, it’s beautiful and worth reading but don’t go in without some tissues.

The Bumblebee and the Flower who Fell in Love - Also very sad, but so very whimsical and sweet besides. A/E works well in seemingly silly setups like this.

And now, for a few more individual recs. Mind you, a lot of my recs are a bit older - I really need to go back and peruse through the ship tag to find new stuff to bookmark - but hey, something something wine metaphors, lol.

End of the Road - this one is so cool. If you like Mad Max Fury Road and ever wondered what it would be like if you combined it with A/E (sort of) and some A/B/O Dynamics, you can’t do better than this.

Quiet Desperation - a lovely little A/E and 00q crossover story! I would read an entire series of this if it existed.

Next Big Thing - A/E as judges on a HGTV reality show. Classic! The exact kind of fairly low stakes drama I can get behind. No spoilers, but my favorite character is Misty Rainbow. For one scene in particular. If you read it, you’ll know exactly which one. Also I wish this show was real.

The Party - heavy subject matter in this one (heed the tags), but getting through the rough stuff makes the eventual fluffier bits almost extra sweet.

Out of Reach - a recent addition to my ranks, but absolutely beautiful. The emotions are so palpable and heartfelt.

And… would it be completely shameless if I included a couple of mine? I don’t like to toot my own horn too much, but since nobody else ever puts me on their reclists, why not, right?

Darling I’m Killed - my somewhat still ongoing Inception/Bond crossover. There are two sequels, and I have no concrete ideas for more yet, but there’s potential.

(I Would Like To) Paint the Way a Bird Sings - the Paint Shop AU that wouldn’t quit, lol. Still can’t believe I actually finished it. Four ships for the price of one in this fic!

Other inception fandom peeps, feel free to reblog and add any fics or authors you like! Especially more recent stuff because I am such a fandom oldtimer, lmao.

Thanks for the ask! I love recommending fics! Also thanks for the follow!

Happy reading!!

❤️

[the-stove-is-divorced]

*seeing the possible nicknames: Ships and Sails* Hmmmm, uh, how about we combine them for the ultimate irony? Since you don't like shipping, how about Sailing Ships?

Have you planned out the future plot of kintsugi? Of course, nothing is set in stone and you can change it whenever but what are your plans at this point of time? I'm very curious 👀👀

Oh my goodness, this is so perfect??? It honestly has the exact kind of vibe to be a mlp pony name, and I adored that show so absolutely, yes! I am Sailing Ships, who dislikes shipping, now and forever thank you. Irony my beloved!!! (*´▽`*) ♡♡♡

And sort of! Most fics have a general point of conflict I wanna reach and/or moments I wanna build up to and write the story along the way, so 98% isn't planned, but 2% I really want to reach for. Tysm for asking btw, I love chatting about fic ideas!!! (´,,•ω•,,)♡

The main eventual conflict is that fact a) Chill/Blue doesn't want to go back together and become One Whole Bruce Wayne because this specific part of Bruce doesn't like being Batman. He's actually one of the few aspects with some actual self preservation, and simply put: it's exhausting, it feels futile, it's painful, and he's done enough. As the personification of indulgences and whims, Chill/Blue wants to indulge in the idea of retirement, putting his feet up, doing what he wants, eating what he wants, and rejecting the hard standards and restrictions Bruce puts himself on. He wants to indulge in the joys he feels he's been neglecting to be Batman, he's tired of the sacrifice and efforts it takes to maintain on a constant basis.

As you can probably guess, b) the others hate this. Hope/Gold is what made Batman and what saved Bruce from despair by giving him something to work towards, Crimson would be frustrated by the idea of doing nothing at all when he could be doing something, and Lavender couldn't stand the idea of how many people could get hurt by sitting idly by. Both Lavender and Crimson don't like Blue, and frankly wouldn't mind if he wasn't part of the Whole Bruce Wayne anymore, and while Hope can appreciate anything by nature, he isn't exactly gonna run and demand for Blue to stay. But the conflict is the all of them have to be together for the whole Bruce to come back.

And gosh, if you don't mind the ramble I love having character study types fics like these! Because it's demonstrating there is a part of Bruce that can understand he is, objectifying, overworking himself and sacrificing his own life for a meaningful cause, it's selfless for others, but arguably self destructive it taken way too far. It's not good, it's not pleasant, but when there's so many reasons to keep going, (like Hope, Lavender, and Crimson each think about), who cares about the small part of him desperate for sleep? If he has to stay in perfect shape, who cares about the craving for popcorn or ice cream he has? If he has a city to save, who cares if his spine hurts so badly, or his knees ache, or his body is still bruised? Bruce, Batman, to me, is a character who probably give anything to anyone who needs it, and yet deny himself the same generosity at the same time.

I also want moments of Blue bonding with one of the kids, or something of the like. Confessing about how much he likes heights, how much he loves the rain, being strangely, perhaps jarringly open, because he's not afraid of sharing the wrong thing, or how carefully he has to think about what to say, because words are so meaningful to him. I want to show how harsh Crimson will be with other aspects of Bruce, but loathe being that harsh with others. Stuff like that! :D

AGAIN TYSM FOR SHOWING INTEREST! I love yapping about fic ideas and fic plots and the like, teehee. (´꒳`)♡ I should have a chapter out hopefully soon????

[milo-the-professional-yapper]

Hello! about your malevolent ask

[long ass answer- many apologies]

its a slightly goofy, sort of horror soap opera, in the vein of call of cthulu/tma. I dont find it Super Scary, but idk what your milage for horror is.

The overarching plot is drivin by the patrions (sp sorry), in the style of a choose your own adventure novel- you can usually tell where the choices are; it'll be something like 'omg arthur, we're at a crossroads- do we go left, to the evil cavern (where the horrors live) or right, to the evil woods (more horrors).' You can also hear more overt RPG stylings in the beginning- dice roll sounds for perception checks, etc. These do fade out after the first season.

Rough outline (some spoilers): John (a spirit/demon type guy) possesses Arthur (a detective from Arkham MA) and, in doing so, takes over his eyes. Now Arthur must navigate the world with only the guidance of the voice in his head. Horrors unfold, walls are walked into the boys are in their get-along consciousness. Think venom, if both of them were way bitchier and prone to swearing. and also eddy was blind.

IS IT GAY: Yes and no. If its a friendship, its really intense- but cannonicaly it has been very firmly stated that they are just friends. However, the relationship is intertwined and deep enough that many people consider it to be queerplatonic- Arthur being aromantic is a very popular interpretation, if that sweetens the pot for you (idk how loosely you're using gay here). Glib answer: its pretty queer, but no kissing.

COOL STUFF:

-A dramatic, intense relationship between a guy and the dude who lives in his head. They argue ( my god how they argue) they make up, they argue again.

-The saddest little english man (arthur) gets chucked off cliffs multiple times. Do you like men whimpering? This is the podcast for you!

-Very impressive voice acting: the writer voices absolutely everyone in the podcast (yes. everyone) and its genuinely almost unnoticeable. You really do have to have it pointed out to you.

-Fun, slightly campy (in the way of an rpg campaign) Lovecraft style horror

-Lovely piano soundtrack

-A gentleman called the butcher shows up in- what season 3? maybe?- and I adore him. Go singing irishman go. You get that violent homoeroticism.

Drawbacks:

Again, I don't really know your taste, but these are some of the things that might turn someone off from listening. YMMV etc.

-LOUD. If you dont like gentlemen yelling DIRECTLY AND ANGRILY INTO THE MIC then this is not for you. If you do like that, then you are about the have the time of your life. There is also just. An incredible amount of panting/heavy breathing. Also directly into the mic, and at length. Like, an 'i am secretly watching gay pornography' amount. I had it going on a speaker once and my roommate had questions, kind of amount

-Almost no women characters: understandable, since a dude is voicing Literally Everyone- but it is something of a sausage fest. Women exist in universe, they just tend to move in the backround/be unvoiced. Lots of 'oh heres whats happened to her' sort of describing around the 'I can't voice a woman' issue. One old lady has a few voice lines and thats it.

-Kind of a soap: This is a draw for me ngl, but if you are looking for TMA 2: the magnusing- she isn't it. Its a LOT lighter than tma, writing wise, and isnt exactly hitting any crazy new twists in its plot (if you've read Any lovecraftian stuff you probably wont be super surprised by anything)BUT. Its still very fun. Two dudes sharing a body, detective roadship shenanigans. They might kiss! Might see some skinned bodies or something.

The dynamics can be a lil repetative (wake up break up back together) and the plot can be a little- ehhhh. due to it being yk, patrion controlled- but that can be fun- it's pretty heavily a choose your own adventure story at heart, so if your down with that (and the sillyness that comes with it) then you'll like it.

-Gore: pretty gory. I enjoy that sort of thing/ am not really effected by it BUT if that not your cup of tea, then you might wanna skedaddle.

🤠 thats all. Again, apologies for the very long answer.

First off- don’t apologize! This gave me everything I needed- thank you for the detailed answer to my question! Looks like I’m giving this podcast a listen- everyone wish me luck 😭

[cosmiclion]

Hello everyone, this is my way of announcing that I've decided to "fuse" all my little Kuro AUs/ideas (or as many as I can) into one single huge AU:

It’s just easier for me to have one big pretentious project where all arcs are connected instead of going back and forth between AUs 🤷🏻

⬇️Context under the cut⬇️

For those who haven't seen her this is Belmon or just B (any pronouns), the demon OC I shamelessly ship with Grell, I’ve been thinking lately that I really should draw her interacting with other characters 🙂 She belongs to a species of demon that don’t eat souls but instead sustain themselves by absorbing other creatures’ energy, called succubus/incubus or Life Leeches. They’re still immortal eldritch entities beyond human comprehension that originally come from another realm and have limitless shapeshifting abilities, but they’re a little less “otherworldly” in the sense that they experience more human-like emotions and feelings, have concepts of romance, affection, sexuality, friendship and family and can indulge themselves in human pleasures like sleep and food, even if they don’t need them. They also begin their life similarly to humans in that they reproduce sexually, and age like humans during their first years, though they stop aging once they reach adulthood.

When I initially created the AU where I included her, the basic plot was that Sebastian was a familiar demon who had first made a contract with Vincent (which explained why they had a similar physical appearance). The attack at the manor still happened but both twins survived, and then the contract was passed to RCiel and Madam Red, who was also a watchdog, became the twins’ legal guardian. Grell wasn’t a reaper but some kind of spirit of nature who was An’s familiar and they were like sisters, then they met a badly injured and weakened Belmon whose human family had been killed by feral demons, and after taking her in she also became An’s familiar and later fell in love with Grell.

I’ve been making a lot of changes to the AU and scraped most of that. The story so far is that B isn’t anyone’s familiar (and never had a human family) but some demon who has her own place and does her own thing. She’s an acquaintance of Sebastian, they don’t see each other too often but know how to find each other when they need to (at this point in time none of them has met Grell, she’ll come into their lives later). B is a very young demon, in fact at the time this scene takes place she’s chronologically 21 years old, unlike Sebastian whose life spans millennia. So B is pretty much a “new demon”. Despite this, she’s lived among humans most of her life and is an expert on them and their needs.

When Sebastian gets out of the cult’s building with the unconscious Ciel (turns out the conditions the poor boy was kept in gave him a nasty respiratory infection), he doesn’t really know what to do with him. Well, he knows the first thing is to pull the child away from death’s door, but he doesn’t know exactly how to save him on his own, and he has no time to lose. His best choice is to go to B for help, as Life Leeches can not only absorb other creature’s energy but also give them their own energy via physical contact. In fact their supernatural healing abilities are often chosen over (or along with) human doctors for more serious or urgent stuff, they may not be able to quickly and miraculously cure a serious illness or heal a life threatening wound, but they can help a person’s body fight it by keeping it strong. So he basically shows up at her door and hands the child to her like “Plz help ☹️”

Note 1: “Crow” is how B addresses Sebastian before he actually starts going by Sebastian. I headcanon that a demon’s real name isn’t even known to other demons, so they often give each other names based on a color, animal or any other thing that is commonly associated with them. Belmon is actually a shorter simplified version of her real name, and Sebastian calls her Blue.

B absolutely adores children of any species and is more than happy to help nurse little Ciel back to health, she’s just puzzled that a demon like Crow is suddenly acting all motherly and protective 😱

Note 2: I made Ciel’s hair a little bit longer and messier because, realistically, seeing as how the cultists treated the children I don’t think they would’ve bothered to keep them groomed ☠️

(I'm tempted to give the Phantomhive boy so many parental figures but I swear I'll still draw him mainly interacting with Sebas 😂).