#the plot is absolutely on point I adore it it's exactly my kind of thing

[cassmouse]

Idk if it's just me being overly into it or my inexperience with these sorts of games but Control is fucking terrifying in the best way possible

[danmeidiaries]

Why I love Shassie

'Psych' is one of my comfort shows. I absolutely adore it and it is one of the fews show I have seen that I consider to be PERFECT. That being said, I still wish I could see a cut of the show where Shassie were the endgame pairing. I know why it never happened, I do like Shules well enough, but Shassie just has so much comedic and compelling potential in this show. They're a fascinating AU and What If scenario that I do sometimes wish I could have seen play out.

There wouldn't have been so much drama about the 'reveal' that Shawn isn't psychic. Jules was the only character in the show who 100% believed that Shawn was psychic. Everyone else ranged from actively helping the lie (Gus & Henry), sceptical but accepting of Shawn's methods (Vick) to flat out refusal to believe (Lassiter). If Shassie had gotten together, then I think that it would have been a fun quirk of their relationship. They both KNOW that Shawn isn't psychic, but Shawn won't tell him the truth (because it's less fun) and Lassiter wants to work it out by himself anyway. So it could have just been a "I won't tell you the truth but if you ever figure it out, I'll tell you if you're right" through-line. Plus then we wouldn't have had the awkwardness of Shawn having to maintain such a big lie in his relationship with Jules (even Abigail - his other main love interest - didn't seem to buy that he was really psychic) and the drama after Jules worked it out. (That stretch of episodes after Jules found out were some of my least favorites due to this plot point hanging over everything.)

The "Oh God, no. Why him????" realisation comedy - especially from Lassiter - when they realise they like each other. Lassiter is canonically pansexual but he's definitely 100% Spencerphobic. Lassiter would have zero qualms about liking dudes but liking Shawn is probably where he draws the line. Shawn would also probably have a similar reaction and the comedy would be GOLD.

Gus' reaction. If Shassie's reaction to liking each other would have been comedy gold, Gus' reaction to if the two started dating would have been comedy platinum. Henry also would have probably had a really funny reaction as well. To be honest, everyone would have, but Gus' reaction would have been spectacular.

It wouldn't have even really changed their dynamic. I can 100% see Shawn and Lassiter being EXACTLY the same with each other while working - because they're both competitive about case solving and bickering is their form of flirting honestly - but burning off all that at work and having an actual functioning relationship when they aren't working. It would probably confuse the hell out of everyone else but it would be a hilarious contrast to their working/home life.

The episodes where Lassiter and Shawn work together are some of the best in the show anyway and would have been great stepping stones to a Frenemies to Lovers kind of story. Seasons 3 & 4 are peak Shassie with 'Lassie Did a Bad, Bad Thing', 'The Head, The Tail, and the Whole Damn Episode', 'Gus Walks into a Bank', 'Shawn Gets the Yips' and 'Shawn Takes a Shot in the Dark' being some of my favorites in the entire show. 'Last Night Gus' in S6 is also particularly standout for Shassie content.

Did I mention that the theme song 'I Know, You Know' is basically Shawn singing to Lassiter?

I know, you know, that I'm not telling the truth, I know, you know, they just don't have any proof, Embrace the deception, learn how to bend, Your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end!

Lassiter is the one who learns how to bend and embrace the deception over the course of the show (he breaks that disk in the season finale because he's fully accepted it and doesn't need to know the answer.) And he is the only character NOT in on the lie who 100% doesn't believe Shawn and doesn't just embrace and accept what he's doing.

So, in conclusion, Psych is perfect, but Shassie is that one extra nugget of gold I wish could have been unearthed within it. If you haven't seen Psych, please do. It's such a fun show and one I revisit every once in a while. The entire cast is clearly having an absolute blast making it and the mysteries are always really fun to watch play out.

[nilolemillion]

Let’s get one thing straight (very unlike me): Batman loves his kids. All of them. He’d die for each one in a heartbeat (of course not kill for them, cough cough Jason). But if you think for one second that Bruce Wayne, the guy who regularly dresses as a bat and fights crime at 3 AM (cough cough insomniac furry.), has a favorite BatKid, then clearly, you’ve never met his children. He doesn’t have a favorite, not because he loves them equally, but because none of these potatoe pie pumpkin cutie-headed chaos gremlins deserve to be his favorite.

Let me explain.

Dick Grayson (WOOP WOOP that’s the sound of that police. Yes Karen, I know he’s no longer an officer, NO KAREN I DON’T GIVE A FUCK.):

The first pancake. The golden boy. Everyone assumes that Dick has a special place in Bruce’s heart because he was the first Robin. He’s charming, he’s capable, and he smiles like he’s got a fucking sponsorship deal with Colgate. But let’s be real, this guy left the nest the second he could, started his own superhero gig in Blüdhaven, and still occasionally shows up to remind Bruce that he doesn’t need him (yes king, show your independence, love that for you.) And you know Dick is the type to throw that ‘you’re getting old, B’ line out there just to twist the knife. Bruce loves him, but how can he be the favorite when he’s busy playing Batman-lite with better hair?

Jason Todd (My personality favorite zombie, resuscitated character in the whole world, I love him so much and all the Outlaws.):

Oh, Jason. The problem child. The one Bruce failed, died, and came back with a vengeance (literally). You’d think after all that tragedy, Bruce might go a little easier on him. But Jason? This kid shows up at family dinners with guns blazing, ready to debate the morality of lethal force like it’s Thanksgiving dinner conversation (and it is, I did it and it was quite fun.) Sure, Bruce would die for him (again), but Jason pushes every button Bruce has like it’s his job. One minute he’s trying to be the better vigilante, the next, he’s making Gotham’s criminals wonder if Batman has gone completely off the rails. If Jason’s Bruce’s favorite, it’s in the ‘how are you still alive and not in jail?’ kind of way.

Tim Drake (DC DROP ANOTHER CANON ILLUSTRATION OF TIM BEING A CUTE LIL STALKER AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!):

Tim’s the brainiac of the family, the kid who deduced Bruce’s secret identity with zero help. Naturally, you’d think this would earn him some serious brownie points. But here’s the thing, Tim works way too hard. He’s got all the signs of a caffeine addiction (which is completely and absolutely understandable, he’s just a little silly and caffeine addicts are hot, yes I am too), zero concept of work-life balance, and is always trying to out-detective Bruce. Yeah, Bruce admires his dedication, but let’s be honest: Tim’s the kid you have to physically shove into bed because he thinks sleep is a myth. Bruce is just trying to prevent this kid from burning out before he’s 30. How can Tim be the favorite when Bruce spends most of his time making sure he doesn’t turn into an insomniac vigilante-zombie?

Damian Wayne (I’m literally making my birthday party theme of him, that should explain enough.):

Ah, Damian. His literal blood son. You’d think that alone would give him a shot at favorite-child status, right? Wrong. Damian is an adorable, pint-sized murder machine with a superiority complex the size of Wayne Manor. Bruce loves him fiercely, of course, but Damian’s idea of father-son bonding is training in deadly combat and arguing about why his assassination techniques are totally valid. Plus, he’s got that whole ‘I’m the heir to the world’s deadliest league of assassins’ thing going on. Sure, he’s Bruce’s kid, but you know he’s never going to let Bruce forget it. Not exactly favorite material when he’s constantly plotting world domination during family movie night. (Dw, he won’t act on it, Alfred made very clear that the batkid who dares dominate the world will be banned from his pastries. Besides, he’s too busy scratching Titus’ belly, he doesn’t have time to dominate the world. PRIORITIES BITCH.)

Cassandra Cain (I stan her more than I stand my own life. Help. I literally crocheted a plushy of her.):

Cassandra is probably the least rebellious out of the bunch, which should give her an edge, right? Wrong again. Cass may be quiet and respectful most of the time, but when she does go rogue, it’s on her terms, and it’s not just a small rebellion. No, Cass will disappear for weeks on end, take down a crime syndicate by herself, and then show up like it’s no big deal. Bruce can’t even stay mad because she’s so good at what she does. But Cass’s habit of ghosting the entire family and dealing with things solo? Yeah, it keeps her out of the running for favorite. Plus, she’s secretly the most dangerous one, and Bruce can’t play favorites with someone who could take him out without even blinking.

Duke Thomas (He’s was the sunshine I was midnight rain. DC DROP ANOTHER CANON ILLUSTRATION OF ISABELLA WITH DUKE AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!):

Duke the daylight protector of Gotham, which is cute and all, except that Bruce has no idea how to parent in the daylight. Duke brings this bright, positive energy to the BatFamily, which sounds great in theory, but this is Bruce we’re talking about. The guy who lives for darkness and brooding. Bruce loves Duke’s optimism, but it’s like trying to teach a vampire to enjoy the sun. Plus, Duke has a habit of questioning everything, and sure, Bruce appreciates his independent streak, but do you really want a favorite who keeps making you reconsider your life choices?

Stephanie Brown (My sweet dear and beloved purple queen, I love her so much.):

Not an adopted batkid, her mom is alive I think… But I don’t give a duck KAREN. Stephanie is the wildcard, the one who does whatever she wants, whenever she wants, and somehow gets away with it. She’s staged fake deaths, gotten fired from being Robin, and still keeps coming back for more. Stephanie’s whole existence is an exercise in chaos theory. Bruce loves her resilience and her ‘never-say-die’ attitude (literally), but how can she be his favorite when her middle name might as well be ‘Loose Cannon’? She’s the kind of kid who’ll fight crime while live-tweeting it. Yeah, Bruce loves her, but he’s not rewarding that kind of energy with a favorite child title. (I’m still confused about her age thingy.)

So no, Bruce doesn’t have a favorite. Because how could he? His kids are walking, talking disasters, each one a different flavor of chaos. Bruce loves them all more than anything in the world, but picking a favorite would be like trying to choose between different natural disasters. Earthquakes, tornadoes, volcanic eruptions, they’re all beautiful in their own destructive way, but you wouldn’t want to pick one to live through. In the end it’s about Bruce somehow surviving all of them.

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

Do you know tired I have to be of the random classic who character reveals as season villains that it makes me completely reevaluate my opinion on the Silence and Tim Shaw as finale villains because at least they were attempts at being creative/having actual arcs? Like, I held for a very long time did the silence were mildly stupid and that Tim Shaw was a week finale villain, but at least there was set up and pay off for both of these cases, and they were the writers trying to work with an actual point and theme for the seasons, not just have a random asspull in the second/third-to-last episode of a finale villain. I think my Nostalgia of how well it worked in seasons 1 and 3 of the original new who run (i.e. the daleks with Rose and the character pay off of satellite 5, and the fantastic build up with the master in season 3) kind of blinded me to the fact that RTD does not know how to do a finale that doesn't involve pulling back a classic Who villain. Not that there is anything inherently wrong with pulling back a classic Who villain, or that Moffat and Chibnall weren't guilty of it too (see seasons 8, 10, and 12), but at least they were TRYING to do something new with a season Arc with the silence and Tim Shaw and the Flux!

Also, on that note, I want every single person who said that the writing of thirteen was bad because the season arcs of 13 weren't that well done so it overshadowed the value of individual episodes but who is praising the individual episodes of rtd 2 (despite admitting that the season arc was weak) to come back and apologize to the entire writing team of Thirteen's run. Doctor Who's writing has always been a bit of a mess from episode to episode. Some episodes land, some episodes don't, and season arcs vary in quality. 13's run has its own weaknesses and valid critiques, but OVERALL is no worse than anything that came before it or anything that came after it. Yes, some individual episodes suck. Yes, some finales are weak.

But you cannot tell me but that does not also hold true for Moffatt and RTD. No Doctor Who show runner has ever had a great track record with handling race, as shown by the treatment of Martha and Mickey underneath of rtd, the questionable handling of black characters deaths under moffatt, or the infamous spyfall incident under chibnall. Likewise, there have been problems with gender throughout pretty much every showrunner. Moffatt's really questionable gender themes of season 6 and his objectification of Amy and River within that Arc are famous, but RTD didn't exactly handle gender much better with the way that he boiled down 13 to nothing more than the woman doctor in the 60th anniversary specials and didn't even let 14 wear her outfit. (Yes, I'm still mad about that, and I won't stop being mad about it!)

I think that it does a disservice to the show and individual writers on the show to claim that any one specific era of the show was more problematic or less well written than the others. There have always been clunkers (both in terms of quality of writing and handling of certain topics). There have always been bad finale and Bad season arcs. There has always been weak pay off and set up. And they have always been episodes that below our minds at how good they are. And personally, as much as I love a good plot twist or a reveal, no matter how much I absolutely adore Utopia/the sound of drums or The Parting of the ways or Hell Bent, Doctor Who has always been at its best when they are being creative and they are trying new things. The Story and The Engine and Demons of the Punjab are fantastic examples of individual episodes that kick ass, regardless of how questionable the season Arc or season finale is, and are both excellent examples of the importance of bringing in new voices and new writers to add to this rich tapestry of a show that has been existing for 60 years.

[beenbaanbuun]

christmas choi jongho thoughts…

genre: fluffy smut (bullet point form)

words: idk

warnings: loss of virginity, protected sex, christmas celebrations, praise, kissing

so i fully believe that our boy jongho is a gentleman above everything

i’m talking gives you his jacket, buys you flowers, holds your bag, that sort of thing

so when he finds out you’re a virgin, obviously it’s no problem at all

he’s more than happy to wait until you’re ready because again, he’s a gentleman!

he can make do with his hand for a little while

he really doesn’t mind as long as you’re comfortable

and then like 5 months into your relationship, it’s december!

the relationship might have been relatively new so spending actual christmas together was probably a little intense, but christmas eve?

that was practically christmas day: the prequel

the two of you sit there in your apartment in matching pyjamas, two mugs of hot chocolate sitting half drank on the table and a shitty hallmark film playing in the background

the two of you are illuminated by nothing but the lights on your tree as you snuggle together under the fluffiest blanket you could find

you keep sneaking looks at one another, both of you in awe at how the other looks under the multicoloured lights that shine down upon the two of you

the films only half finished when jongho passes you a gift

you look at him confused but he just shrugged

“the films boring, baby,” he grumbles before gesturing to the pristinely wrapped present in your lap, “she’s going to realise she’s made a mistake and run off back to the country boy who can show her ‘what christmas really means’… boring.”

you giggle at his run down of the plot of every hallmark movie ever

then you unwrap the gift

it’s a necklace. a locket to be specific

you open it to see a picture that he must’ve taken in secret: you cuddled up to him in bed, his lips pressed to your forehead as your cheek lay smushed up against his chest

“it’s nothing much… kind of cheesy now i think about it.”

you shut him up with a kiss before passing over your gifts

you passed them back and forth until all that was left was your final gift

it was silly, and now you were kind of doubting whether the gift was perhaps too silly

you pass it over anyway and bite your lip as he rips into the wrapping paper only to find… a box of condoms?

he looks at you with a raised brow and a smirk on his face

“a box of condoms, hm?”

you blush and nod

“they might come in useful…”

“oh, they might?” he chuckles as he studies the box, “how come?”

“don’t make me say it,” you whine, “i gave you the box to get out of saying it…”

he chuckles because how can you be so cute???

like you’ve just passed him a box of condoms and yet he still wants to giggle and blush and kick his feet because you’re absolutely adorable

so he decides to tease you a little just so he can watch you cutely squirm a little more

“but i don’t know what you mean, baby,” you grins at you and you can’t help but swoon at his pretty smile.

the way to corners of his eyes crinkle as he shows his gums AGDJSGDJSGAMDHSJ

he’s just so pretty and you have to do everything in your power to stop yourself from leaning forward and kissing him right then and there

but you somehow manage to hold back

“please do tell me why exactly you bought me this box of condoms…”

even though his teasing is annoying, you can’t help but giggle along

“choi jongho,” you murmur, “i swear i will take my gift back if you don’t…”

“don’t what?” he smirks

it immediately turns into a pout when you try to take the condoms back

he eventually concedes and stops his teasing

decides that kissing you would be much more appropriate for the time and place

it’s soft and sweet and intoxicating

you chase his lips as he pulls away but he just giggles at you before diving in for more

“jongho,” you whisper as you pull away, “do you want to put your present to good use?”

“absolutely, baby.”

and it’s literally the most magical thing because once again…

JONGHO IS A GENTLEMAN

strips you of your pyjamas himself, asking before he removes each piece if it’s okay

in fact, he asks before he does anything just to make sure you’re fully comfortable with everything (gentleman…)

holds your hand throughout the whole thing because he needs to make it romantic

peppers small kisses to your face as he pushes in to distract you from the initial stretch

“you’re doing so well,” kiss on the nose, “so perfect for me, aren’t you?” kiss on the forehead, “like you were made for me…” kiss on the lips

and he’s right. the two of you fit so well together and when he starts to rock his hips back and forth, you can’t help but notice how natural it feels when he slots back into place, cock buried deep inside of you

if he’d had prior warning he definitely would’ve busted out the rose petals and the candles

you lying naked on the sofa with the lights of the christmas tree bathing your bare skin felt right, though

when he realises he’s close, he takes one hand out of yours so he can play with your clit

the pout that forms when his hand slips out of yours is quickly replaced by a gasp of pleasure as he steadily pushes you to orgasm

it takes a moment or two for him to find a rhythm that works in getting you to the edge, but once he does, you reach it pretty quickly

he can’t help but tell you how pretty he thinks your moans are

“you sound so beautiful,” he pushes deep inside of you with shaky thighs, “i wish i could listen to you forever.”

and then, once he’s snugly within you, he cums into his condom and flops down on top of you

snuggles you close as you both dip in and out of dreamland

[sephirthoughts]

This is like a reverse jehovah's witness knocking ur door but who's the haunted hotel bellhop that u pair vincent with? convert me 👀

OH HO HO strap in my friend because Haunted Hotel Bellhop has been living in my head rent-free ever since that genius of destruction @soundcrusher came to me one day and was like "look at my upside-down man isn't he cute" and i was like "WTF WHERE HAS THIS INVERTED WEIRDO BEEN ALL MY LIFE AND WHY IS HE SO HOT" and soundcrusher was like "he's right there in the haunted hotel how could you not have seen him" and then i had to admit i haven't played rebirth yet cause i'm waiting for PC release (i needs my mods y'all) and then soundcrusher called me a n00b and a fake fan and stuffed me in a locker**.

[**may not have happened]

[IMPORTANT NOTE: all dialogue with @soundcrusher referenced herein has been wildly paraphrased and only represents the basic gist of our actual conversations]

anyway the point is soundcrusher sent me videos and screenshots and more screenshots of bellhop so i could giggle and kick my feet about how adorable he is, and eventually brought up that "hey...this guy kind of reminds me of someone. like kind of a LOT reminds me of someone. you know who i mean right?"

and i was like "yes my cousin goth greg who lives in new orleans and does vampire the masquerade in-person roleplay like it's 1998 and there's not a robust roleplaying community on the internet"

and soundcrusher was like "no. how the hell would i know your weird cousin? i meant he's a lot like nero the sable"

which i totally knew and wasn't even oblivious to the many many ways bellhop's design is clearly supposed to evoke nero.

these include: his color pallette, his skin and hair color (possibly his eye color too though the lighting the game has him in makes it hard to tell), his bandages looking exactly like nero's muzzle, his mannerisms and way of talking being like nero's, etc.

the more we examined the character model (as much as we could with the bandages) the more we realized he really really looks like nero. for example, they have the same exact eye shape, and if you use a character model ripper to extract nero and remove the muzzle, the same exact weird eyebrow shape).

obvs we don't have the bellhop character model to strip the bandages and find out what's goin on under there, but for now it holds up.

(screenshots shamelessly stolen from @soundcrusher 's post about it)

he also hangs upside-down in the pose from the hanged man card from the tarot, which may or may not be relevant to the nero theory but is an interesting tidbit

anywhoozle, soundcrusher whipped up a whole bio and backstory for bellhop, which included the absolute master stroke of naming him Benjamin Hopkins, so that is what he is named forever in my head.

in soundcrusher's backstory, benjamin was originally the unnamed identical twin of nero the sable, born in deepground a moment after nero, and before the darkness consumed their mother. subject N-2 was considered to be defective and thus only kept around as literal spare parts, in case big brother ever needed them. he was not allowed to interact with his brother or half brother and never knew them.

a lot of things happened and a kind scientist hatched a plot to smuggle the kid out of deepground, before promptly dying a tragically heroic death, and thus the child was raised up on the surface world, apart from his twin and half-brother weiss, never knowing them, eventually coming to work and live at the haunted hotel.

it's a lot more complex than that but i am the only one privileged enough to have read all the as yet unpublished parts of soundcrusher's wonderful story world for benjamin so everyone else will have to suffer for now

RE: pairing bellhop with vincent since, in our shared delusion, nero is (unknown to anyone) vincent's son, that makes benjamin also vincent's son, which leads to all kinds of shenanigans when everyone eventually meets.

i also ship bellhop with vincent sometimes outside that fic, but i contain multitudes of universes, so i ship almost everyone with everyone in different contexts

i love soundcrusher's bellhop benjamin so much that i begged and whined asked politely for permission to borrow him for this fic, which is canon to this fic's world, which makes him part of the tangled web that is the valentine family tree.

IN SUMMATION: bellhop's strong resemblance to nero is almost certainly a little joke on the part of the devs to be like "wooo creepy he's like that scary weirdo with the hannibal lecter muzzle and straitjacket who failed to kill yuffie thus making him history's greatest monster" but joke's on them because they have NO IDEA how microscopic and fragmentary a piece of evidence we can base a gigantic web of headcanons on.

🖤THANK YOU FOR THE ASK ABOUT OUR PRECIOUS SON 🖤

[nyaagolor]

Now that you’ve played through all the episodes, how would you rank them?

Oooo this is tough, in part bc I like all of them a LOT. The designations between a few of them, especially in the middle category, are gonna be kinda arbitrary, but I'll do my best :)

Also this got stupid long so I put it under a readmore! Spoilers abound, as one might expect

8. Dawn of the Golden Witch (Episode 6)

I have some... mixed feelings on this one. I understand what Ryukishi was going for in using chick-Beato and Battler's interactions to parallel Battler with Kinzo and show Kinzo's dynamic with Kuwadorian Beatrice via analogy, but I also think it kinda fumbles a bit. There are points (cookie scene being a big one) where I feel like the characters take a backseat to the themes and the whole narrative feels off. Chapters 5 and 6 are supposed to be a perversion of the original story that Beatrice has lost control over, but there are points during 6 especially where I think it kinda loses itself. The rest of it is great (Erika's VA is a goddamn champion) but the very beginning of this chapter is easily my least favorite part of the series

7. Requiem of the Golden Witch (Episode 7)

I don't really have strong feelings on this episode. It would have been the high point in just about any other VN, but Umineko is so consistently fantastic that Episode 7 didn't really hit me as hard as the others. It did make me wish we got more Kyrie though, even if I know exactly why she wasn't as prominent as many of the others. Kind of insane that my second least-favorite arc is something I would rank like an 8 or 9 out of 10, Umineko is just that goated (get it???)

6. Turn of the Golden Witch (Episode 2)

While I do love watching the worst woman ever conceived have a 48 hour progressive mental breakdown, Alliance hits every point I like about the Rosa / Maria dynamic but does it better. It's still an arc I absolutely adore, so it feels weird to rank it so low, but I think about it a lot less than the other arcs so down here it goes. Shoutout to this arc for making me laugh to the point I could no longer speak not once, but twice. Kanon chuuni jacket and leashed Battler you will always be famous

5. Twilight of the Golden Witch (Episode 8)

I know that ranking episode 8 in the bottom half sounds like sacrilege but this arc had so much Kinzo and while I understand his narrative importance I Do Not Like Him. The fact that Kinzo is in the Golden Land but Kuwadorian Beatrice isn't makes me want to throw bricks at things. Other than that though, absolutely stellar. I bawled at the ending. The next day I thought about it more, misinterpreted it, and cried more, then I thought about it more deeply and talked with friends, really started to understand the core messages, and sobbed even harder. As these things tend to go. This episode ruined my life. Would recommend.

4. Legend of the Golden Witch (Episode 1)

note: 4 and 3 are interchangeable I like them both a lot for different reasons

The first time I read this episode, I thought it was great. The further I got into Umineko, the better it got. Now, with a full understanding of the plot and knowing how this chapter serves as self-reflection through the other (Sayo via Natsuhi) it serves as probably the most raw glimpse into Sayo's mindset we get. This episode ruins me and I'm pretty sure when I inevitably reread it I am going to dissolve into a puddle of goo. Also Natsuhi is there and she's my favorite of the matriarchs so I'm a little bit biased :)

3. Banquet of the Golden Witch (Episode 3)

This is one of the funniest pieces of literature I have ever read in my life. EVA-Beatrice, the entire sob story (that I, like Battler, fell for completely), the two towers fight scene... 10/10 no notes. I don't even have the words for how much I adored this one. I wish I could read it again for the first time.

2. Alliance of the Golden Witch (Episode 4)

Ok so fun fact I thought this arc was kinda boring at first, and was a little miffed I had to constantly go through Ange's little side quests when I just wanted to see Beatrice and Battler again. Fortunately, Ryukishi has a beautiful way of changing my mind very very quickly and the more I think about this Episode the more I love it. It has some of the most powerful emotional moments, a really good rehashing of the themes, and is a lot tighter and more condensed than I gave it credit for. There's a LOT that happens in this chapter, and it's been growing on me a lot-- while it doesn't take the number one spot in terms of my favorites, I do think it's the best written of the 8 episodes. As a bonus it focuses a lot on Maria who is one of the best characters ever and my darling baby angel.

End of the Golden Witch (Episode 5)

This is the platonic ideal of Umineko to me. The layers of metanarrative, the perversion of a formula to reiterate its structure, the use of genre conventions as a dual-use in-universe and metanarrative element, Erika. End of the Golden Witch is when I changed from someone who loved Umineko to someone who was obsessed with Umineko. The ending is one of the most visceral parts of the VN and I will fully admit I cried. There is so much happening in this episode I could talk about it all day. Also Natsuhi is there. Hey girlie <3

[superkooku]

Since I have noticed you're an Asterion defender, may I suggest you watch "Icare" 2022? It's a French animated movie which focuses on the possibility that the Minotaur was originally a gentle soul and was corrupted by King Minos' harsh treatment. It's beautifully animated and the design of Minotaur is simply epic (seriously, just google images for him).

Maybe the one thing you may dislike about the movie is the portrayal of Ariadne. She's depicted as a total bitch and a jerkass spoiled princess who hates the Minotaur as much as everyone else (sorry, no sibling empathy between the two) and cares only about herself. Oh, and her being abandoned in Naxos is mostly treated less of a nasty move by Theseus and more of her getting her comeuppance. Oh, and there's no Dionysus to save her.

Very interesting ask, anon ! And I'm kinda glad you took the time to read through some of my posts :3. I heard of this movie and kinda forgot about it.

As you guess, this summary leaves me in a very ambiguous position.

I'll start by analyzing each element separately.

Asterius (and other positives)

Quite frankly, seeing him as a straight up pacifist doesn't fit the myths. Since he did kill and eat these people.

However, it's the circumstances that make me sympathize for him, as he was thrown in the Labyrinth by an uncaring "father figure"

The description you gave doesn't go too far in the former direction and is actually very interesting to explore ! Asterius having a naive soul due to him not being tainted by the outside world and ultimately no bad intentions but just wild instinct and rage at his loneliness.

And I kinda like the Minotaur's design here, ngl. He looks kinda human, not like a demon from Berserk or a guy in armor. If anything, he gives me Ghibli monster vibes. I dig it !!

He has these childish vibes that definitely fit his secluded lifestyle and potentially hope (that would unfortunately be in vain)

Seeing Icarus build a friendship with him is actually a very cute idea and the potential for a bittersweet movie.

And the artstyle is absolutely adorable btw :3

Ariadne :(

Thanks for the trigger warning 🤣. I feel like this is the exact opposite problem with Jennifer Saint's version but that has the same effect.

Instead of being a passive doormat in one retelling, this Ariadne sounds like a typical pick-me-girl who doesn't respect her promises. And she's spoiled 😮‍💨. In the end, she's stripped of all her qualities and demonized.

She sounds exactly like the kind of character I dislike. Not that I hate them because they're despicable, like a well-written villain, but rather annoying nuisances on screen, wasting my time, and if I didn't love her mythical counterpart so much, I'd say she'd deserve to end up alone on that island. (Sorry but I came across this type of character before and they never fail to aggravate me).

Listen, I see a way we could alter this so it works. Maybe we could show Ariadne resigning herself to see Asterius die not because she hates him or finds him disgusting but because he suffers too much and is beyond saving (at least as long as other lives are on the line).

Probably dedicating a scene where she says farewell to him and maybe Icarus' more idealistic perspective could be confronted to her knowing Asterius better and how Minos mishandled him.

Betraying her half-brother could be a very dramatic and bittersweet plot point that could leave a lot of scars in her psyche.

It's a shame that she's characterized like that because I like her design, she looks cute and idk, her hair being red wine is a tiny detail that looks cool (if she's the ginger girl in the cover).

Also, imagine Ariadne, Icarus AND Asterius being secret buddies or something. A tragic friendship.

Fortunately, I get to regularly enjoy some good Ariadne stuff on @margaretkart 's blog (and more sporadically from other artists, dw).

Because adaptation-wise, there aren't that many interesting portrayals of her other than the sources and maybe the Roberta Gellis book that I WILL get to one day.

(I'd take an interesting adaptation of her character even without Dionysus and stuff. Just something of substance for her would be great)

The rest

EXCEPT for Ariadne being ruined, I'm curious about how others are shown. Icarus seems to be a cute kid. But how about Minos ? He'll have a seemingly negative portrayal, which tbf fits this story.

But I wonder if Pasiphae will be any better. Or Phaedra will maybe be more complex than her sister if she appears at all.

Hopefully Daedalus will have an interesting role.

I also wonder why Theseus abandons her in this version though. Because he hates her or just because he forgets ? Or how Theseus is portrayed in general.

As a hero, as a jerk, or as the massive airhead he is in mythology?

I may check out this movie one day and write a review post.

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #28 – The Dead Take The A Train by Cassandra Khaw and Richard Kadrey

Oh I wanted to love this book so very much. On paper it’s basically made for me – incredibly messy fuckup of a heroine, cosmic horror through the idiom of wall street corporate sharks, grimy and gory urban fantasy full of knifing people in back alleys, the works! For the first fifty pages or so, I thought I was in love – which just made the disappointment as the wheels came off all the more bitter.

The book follows Julie, ‘barbed wire magician’ (it’s at least as unpleasant as it sounds), professional monster hunter, and all-around personal disaster. Her life takes a turn for the even messier when a) her best friend/comically oversized unresolved crush shows up at her door begging for help running from her abusive husband and b) unrelatededly but more or less simultaneously, her ex-partner-and-also-boyfriend, looking up to clean up embarrassing loose ends on his rise up the elldritch corporate ladder, baits her into trying to summon a guardian angel from a sabotaged tome and ends up releasing a metaphysical parasite that starts murdering its way through the city’s occult underground. From there things just get messier.

Drilling down as much as I can, my issues with this can be summed up as it feels like a first draft. There’s stuff there on the page – character arcs, relationships, bits of scenery and action setpieces, even themes! - but it’s all just..there. Exaggerated line sketches no one ever went back and turned into full illustrations. It’s most painful with the characters – every one of them is a caricature, precisely and exactly what they first appear to be with the same beats hit again and again every single time they appear on screen. Which more or less for the quirky supporting cast but like – we get multiple chapters from the perspective of the aforementioned abusive husband, and something like a fifth of the book is from the POV of the sleazy corporate striver ex. At no point does either one get the slightest bit of nuance or pathos – Tyler’s chapters in particular end up reading like bad SCP field reports, with so much self-destructive instituional backstabbing and betrayal it all ends up being slapstick.

Sarah the love interest gets a special anti-shout-out here. Like, I know I’m just picky about and have a low tolerance for romances, but I swear – the single most important dynamic in the book in terms of both wordcount and narrative signposting is her and Julie’s romance, and it is just So. Bad. Every single scene she’s in is dedicated to rubbing your face in how fragile and traumatized and selfless and adorable and good-hearted and damaged she is, and the entirety of the romance is essentially one of those jokes about how lesbians will spend six years living with each other awkwardly waiting for the other to ask them out but stretched across 400 pages. I spent half the book patiently waiting for any hint of hidden depths or surprising twists to her character, but nope! Just a perfect domestic angel.

The setting actually has something of a similar issue. It feels like an exaggerated pastiche of urban fantasy, assuming the reader is already familiar with all the tropes and conceits and making only the most perfunctory possible gestures towards exploring or justifying them. This can absolutely work, but if you’re doing it you kind of need to use the genre as the background or setup for something else that the book is actually about – deconstruction or satire or character study or Wacky Hijinks or something. When what’s gruesome action and drama is supposed to be the star attraction, the grounding and verisimilitude of the world is actually pretty key.

A really tight, tense plot could have absolutely redeemed the whole but, well, nope. The literal entire plot hinges on Tyler, in the course of one conversation several drinks in at a crowded bar, baiting Julie into looking for a particular type of tome from a particular store so she’ll try the ritual he had swapped out with one to curse her – but then also that he didn’t know what the ritual he swapped in actually did. The big evil wall street law firm has a corporate culture that should have collapsed about 48 hours after it was founded, and absolutely nothing about it makes sense for a place with lasting institutional power. Everyone’s morality and perceptiveness changes as the plot requires. The pacing feels like they had to pull a happy ending out of their asses at the 2/3 mark and shove the rest of the book into a sequel. It’s just, it’s bad!

Also the prose starts at fun and evocative and keeps pushing into Lovecraftian levels of adjective-addiction, and neither the A-Train nor the dead are actually at all important to the story.

Just, argh. This could have been good! The first 40 pages were a really fun schlocky monster-of-the-week story! The first ritual summoning the Proctor was basically perfect! I wanted to love this!

[cepheusgalaxy]

Happy STS! What is your favourite thing about your WIP/WIPs? :)

(Absolutely anything, just your favourite aspect of it be in within the story or outside of it!)

OHH :D *cracks knuckles*

Lets do a few

Espada

Espa is my favorite part. Shes just. !!! So fun and easy to draw. And to write. And she has the juiciest backstory ever.

I also like Sabreee and Guy. And Sethie. And Juste. Well okay I like all of them. But Espa is just the Best.

I also like it that it's living weapon whump because I Adore living weapon whump and also that I'm managing to actually write it!

Meine

I don't know, not sure. Maybe that it has a pretty cool cast! Different backstories and some neat character dynamics and everybody has a cool superpower. And the plot is a bit confusing to me even lmao but I love it that they get captured multiple times. Yay

Anima Saga

My favorite part its that its just pure fun!! Like so enormously fun. The very worldbuilding caters to my plot preferences and I get to put any culture for any character I want and also make shit up because it's fantasy. I know this applies to a lof of others because they are mostly fantasy and I always make things do for fun but anima??? Deserves a shoutout. Just anythingggg I want

LRRHC

I always abbreviate this one....because the title is so silly... but it's "little red riding hood cyberpunk". It is not exactly little red riding hood nor cyberpunk tho.

My favorite part is the worldbuilding! At some point I made up a lot of factions because I knew I wanted it to be a "dystopian society is at the verge of a revolution" kind of story so I thought itd be fun if there were different groups who wanted different sorts of revolutions. I got quite a fun aesthetic tho so I like that. It's in a document I don't touch much lately (leaving this wip and a few others in the back shelf) so i dont remember every detail

Across Time and Odds

The title....

No, fr tho, I'm Terrible with titles (case in point: "[main character name], [main character name], LRRHC") so this one is Nice and. I love it.

ALSO Dan. The mc. He is very fucked in the head and has a perfectionist complex and his gender makes some quite complicated situations to his dismay so it's fun to torture him with it.

Ein

I'm honestly not sure. This one is just a dear. I have guarded it for later bc tbh I don't think I can make it justice with my level of experience. Maybe Kaiki and his backstory. Maybe Kaiki's design? Maybe Arielle in general. Maybe the worldbuilding. ...probably not the title

9GOH

"The 9 gates of hell" which is an okay title! I like it. My favorite part is definitely, 100% sure, the magic system. I LOVE the magic system on this one.

TWOTHT

"The War Of The Human Throne"

The premise! I Do like the title too lmao. It's pretty cool.

Honorable mention:

[Yuri Fencing]

This is less of a wip and more of a fun project with my friend. We were talking about bad sports (we don't like sports in general but are totally not biased, trust me) and how say, rugby is so bad it wouldn't even have an anime, which somehow turned into making a rugby anime, which we decided to make yaoi because sports anime duh, but then we thought it'd be SO cool to make it yuri instead, and then we quit rugby because we don't like rugby and chose fencing instead.

My favorite part is that since it is an Anime (or a manga...? Visual novel...? I don't know how we might do this but thats irrelevant for now) we get to play with a lot of anime archetypes and conventions and elements which isn't something I always have the opportunity to do

We have japanese names! I like naming japanese characters because I get to learn how to write them. The protagonists name, for example, is Yayoi, written as 夜宵 (night + evening) and her love interest rival is Hakui (白衣, white + clothing/coat). It was fun to decide

Totally not yayoi, similar to 'yaoi' as a callback to yuri on ice, a yaoi anime with an mc called 'yuri'

And character archetypes!!! We have a rich kid, a delinquent, an inexpressive girl, even a nerd sidekick! Its lots of fun

[7-oh-ta1]

I actually feel rage when people call totk a 10/10. Like YES I enjoyed totk..... but that's because I ALSO enjoyed botw, and totk is a mimic of botw. Totk didn't just use the same world as botw, it added absolutely nothing interesting to the modern Hyrule. To me, THAT was important to botw. It meant nothing to totk. Zero world integrity. To the npcs I have come to know. THAT is not 10/10. That alone cranks it down to 9/10 without even considering the boring plot, the lackluster dungeons, the reuse of shrines as well as all other botw mechanics, and any new lore completely destroys anything actually interesting that may have been happening, all of which moves it down to 5/10 for me. But wait... everything I like about totk is in botw. 2/10.

But the tiniest criticism that is symbolic of everything wrong with totk.... is the continuation of botw's world. For the hundredth time I will cite Celessa, my favorite botw npc.

Celessa is a pilgrim who views Princess Zelda as something of a paragon. She's currently on a pilgrimage to the Spring of Wisdom when Link meets her and gives lots of interesting worldbuilding about the spring, Zelda, and how the modern Hyrule views her. Celessa offers the perspective that Zelda, who may or may not be dead at this point in the story, is someone incredibly powerful and that some people have a nearly religious faith that she's protecting them even if they have no proof of it. Celessa's information that Zelda was said to have visited the Spring of Wisdom also gives Link incentive to locate it in order to find one of his memories.

My criticism with Celessa is that, like every npc, she never actually makes it to the Spring of Wisdom. She will be on her pilgrimage infinitely. I wanted to see her keep going, I really liked her character motivations and wanted to see where she would go next. Totk, as a SEQUEL that took several years to develop whilst reusing botw's map, had every opportunity to continue the story of Celessa and the other interesting npcs. I imagined Celessa could have visited all three springs at that point. I imagined her as something of a caretaker of the Spring of Wisdom, as someone who could see the dragons, someone spiritually knowledgeable. Bringing what she believes as an important, sacred place back into the modern eye. Maybe she could have an organization spread to all three springs, caring for and bringing these springs back to life and out of the shadows. But I would take just Celessa living on that mountain. Or maybe, as a teacher in Hateno (the central of modern Hyrule's hylians that Celessa is very familiar with) educating people on the Sacred Springs and WHY those locations are sacred.

So what is pilgrim Celessa up to in totk?

Celessa is a tourist in Hateno Village, doning full mushroom garb. She acts like she's never been there before everyday. She travels with two other unrelated npcs she never met in botw. She has a passion for fashion and adores CeCe's mushroom designs. Everyday she and her new friends travel to each of Hateno's tourist traps.

And that's it. There's no legacy, there's no callback, there's no continuation of Celessa's story. It's just her name on a character because they wanted an npc to do that thing and she just happened to be the one to do it. It has nothing to do with Celessa. And she's just my example! This is how they treated Hyrule. We enjoyed Hyrule in botw because the worldbuilding, understanding the scars the Great Calamity left on it, but the communities that continue despite, despite, despite. Botw was special it was presenting an entirely new Hyrule to us with new npcs filling it. Totk has no such connection to the world. It's disrespectful.

Imagine, gentlemen, that in the Dragonborn DLC of Skyrim, every npc on Solstheim was exactly the same. No new towns or houses, no terrain changes, all the npcs are named the same. But for some reason, Carnius Magius is a humble, kind fisherman. That doesn't make any sense -- he's a cold hearted businessman that wants to kill his employees over minor infractions. No information is given to the player about why he has changed. With absolutely no mention to his past, he's now a soft spoken, helpful fisherman. This would confuse and trouble people who care about the world of TES, which at least unlike TLOZ the majority of fans actually do care about the integrity of the games.

This is such a small thing. As a sequel, continuing the stories of the world. Could they really not manage to do that? If it's such a tiny thing people don't care about, why do I care about it? And if it's tiny, why couldn't they manage it? There's so many examples of the disrespect to botw's Hyrule that totk now uses like a playground for its stupid fucking g mod mechanics. But still, people give it 10/10? 10/10?!!!!!!! I'm going to start biting people.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Analysing my favourite lines from Six of Crows chapter by chapter: Chapter 3

As before, if there are any famous/popular lines missing it’s not because I don’t like them it’s just because I have nothing more to add to the analyses/ideas already present about them in the fandom. And if there are quotes that I haven’t analysed that’s just because I wanted to include it as a favourite quote but didn’t have anything to say explanation-wise.

This is a long chapter, so I’ll see how this goes and maybe split it into two parts.

“It would have been easy to make peace. Kaz could have told Jesper that he knew he wasn’t dirty, reminded him that he'd trusted him enough to make him his only real second in a fight that could have gone badly wrong tonight."

- this is really important for me because it tells us so much about Kaz and Jesper’s relationship in so few words, as well as telling us about the characters individually as well. Kaz trusts Jesper but he can’t tell him that and keeps him at arms length: we understand that Kaz has intimacy and/or commitment issues in both platonic and romantic relationships (since at this point in time the nature of their relationship hasn’t been explored but is presented as platonic, and Kaz had not been specifically stated to have a romantic interest this early on we as the reader make early assumptions). The specificity of the verb “knew” is SO important to me as well, because we have just seen Kaz have Big Bolliger shot in the stomach on the suspicion he was dirty based on a hunch about him going to a different cafe for breakfast but he ‘knows’ with complete certainty that Jesper is absolutely trustworthy. So within barely a paragraph of Kaz’s first POV chapter we understand that Jesper, even if their relationship is complex or rocky, is incredibly important to him and that he has considerable faith in him. The choice to not ���make peace”, however, even though “it would have been easy” tells us that Kaz either feels the active need to keep Jesper at a distance or is incapable of expressing the closeness he feels in their friendship. Obviously later we’re able to learn that these are both true in their own way, but the importance of it in this moment is that we are immediately tuned in to Kaz’s fear of emotional connection and invested in understanding why this is, or exactly what he struggled with. Six of Crows is a novel I’d consider to be well balanced between plot-driven and character-driven, but I definitely think that these opening chapters are very character driven so this kind of set up is what pulls us into the book and makes us desperate to keep reading.

“ ‘Another bribe?’

‘I’m a creature of habit’

‘Lucky for you, I am too’ ”

“If you couldn’t walk out by yourself through Ketterdam after dark, then you might as well hang a sign around your neck that read “soft” and lie down for a beating” - I don’t know that I can coherently explain this I just love it; the worldbuilding??? the start of this brilliant presentation of the city as effectively it’s own character, which is one of my favourite things Bardugo does in her descriptions of Ketterdam?? The character implications about Kaz??? The way it ties into his initial judgements of Wylan!???? Perfection

“He realised he felt… Saints, he almost felt hopeful. Maybe he should see a medik” - I just love this so much, it’s so funny and it’s so quintessentially Kaz, I absolutely adore it

“Usually, he liked the quiet. In fact, he would’ve happily sewn most people’s lips shut” - we should talk about this quote more as a fandom, you know, because it’s brilliant and it’s so funny and again it’s just so brilliantly Kaz in the opening pages of his perspective we get so much information about his worldview and understand him to be quite a humorous character despite the initial appearance of him from Inej’s POV. As the novels go on we see the others notice his jokes more often, but in that introductory chapter it was incredibly important that the reader received the same image of Kaz that the Black Tips did, so now we get to be introduced to the closest thing to a real version of Kaz. I think there’s still a prevalent understanding that we’re seeing a mask, but this feels more real than Dirtyhands does… if that makes sense? I could be rambling about nonsense

"He'd heard other members of the gang say she moved like a cat, but he suspected cats would sit attentively at her feet to learn her methods" - this is just such a brilliant description of what Inej can do, it gives us such a clear image without having to overexplain anything and it also introduces us to this idea of Kaz putting her on a pedestal.

' "And what god do you serve, then?"

"Whichever will grant me good fortune"

"I don't think gods work that way,"

"I don't think I care," '

"He didn't see her go, only sensed her absence" - I can't explain it but something about this is so achingly romantic to me.

"But the fact that she could simply erase herself bothered him. She didn't even have a scent. All people carried scents, and those scents told stories -" - It wasn't until someone asked me to make a post about this quote that I really thought about it and realised why it has always stuck out to me. You can see the post on my page if you're interested, but in essence I think it's really important that Kaz struggles with any sense of permanence, so the idea that the one person he cares about more than anything else in the world could vanish so completely, as though she never even existed in the first place, is genuinely frightening - especially to a boy who several times in these novels fears that he has begun to hallucinate. Kaz seems very aware that he's on the edge of something he identifies as going mad, and the concept of visual and auditory hallucinations - Jordie's voice in his head, the panic at thinking he must have hallucinated when he first sees a Tidemaker walk through a wall, the immediate fear of being attacked by a ghost, etc - is something that constantly chases him. Kaz has also spent the last 8 years of his life living in a world that continued on as though his brother never existed, the salt in the wound being that not even Rollins remembers them, so the awareness of that happening to Inej, someone he has come to care for in a way that is entirely new and incredibly overwhelming for him - "there would be no grand funerals for them, no marble markers to remember their names" "What will you leave behind, but corpses to be burned on the Reaper's Barge?" "Out to the Reaper's Barge for burning, like all paupers go" - is a deeply upsetting. This then becomes a parallel with Kaz specifically noting that he can smell soap on her in the Crooked Kingdom Bathroom Scene; in this moment she us cemented so strongly in view and becomes the tether between Kaz and his sanity by continuing to so obstinately exist in a world that doesn't seem to want her to.

"Ghosts, Kaz thought. A boy's fear, but it came with absolute surety. Jordie had come for his vengeance at last" - oh my goodness there's so much to unpack here. I have talked about this a bit before, I think it was in my (very long) post about the potential for Wylan and Kaz to become each other, but it is SO important to look at this quote and remember that when we first read it we haven't the faintest idea who Jordie is or what happened to him. With the ousting of Big Bolliger and all the talk about your gang being your family and that even if you're a liar and a thief, you don't lie to or steal from your own gang, my initial assumption upon reading this was that Jordie had once been in a gang with Kaz, one of them had betrayed the other, and it had ended with Kaz murdering him. But, of course, this is very far from the truth and this tells us so much heart-breaking information about the fact that Kaz blames himself for what happened to them. He wonders later what might have happened to them if he hadn't insisted they go and find the magician that was the first step leading them to Rollins and to Jordie's death, but we never get anything about Kaz blaming himself quite as outrightly as this, the rest of it is usually just implied. So why show us this now? I would argue because this is how Kaz genuinely feels and in the moment he thinks it he is too terrified, confused, and to some extent concerned for his sanity to push the feeling away. Everything we see beyond this point id the construct that he has convinced himself is how he feels: that it's Rollins' fault. Obviously Rollins is at least partially to blame for Jordie's death, but if I may quote myself from a previous post It's the city that kills him, Rollins is just the weapon it chooses. Jordie even says it himself - "The city's winning now, but you'll see who wins in the end". Kaz's genuine belief is that Jordie's death is his fault, but he is in far too fragile a mental state to cope with that truth (and when I say truth I mean the that it's the truth he believes that, not that it;s the truth it's his fualt because he was jsut a nine-year-old who wanted to see a magician that's a more than innocent act and, again, he was nine) so he instead exists within a façade that he has built for himself - even on top of the one he's built for everyone else. We also see a hatred of the feeling towards blaming Jordie later on in the novels, and this is incredibly important. It's almost as if the idea that it's his fault isn't even the truth, but that's a façade to overcome the ultimate horror of seeing Jordie as accountable for it all - "What do you think my forgiveness looks like Jordie?". But ultimately, this is still the warped view of the world instilled in Kaz and so many of the other citizens of Ketterdam, possibly Kerch as a whole, arguably placing the city and its infrastructure as the ultimate villain rather than the tools of it. (Wherein the tools are Rollins and Van Eck).

"The phantom was upon him, and he felt the sharp jab of a needle in his neck. A ghost with a syringe?" - This is just so funny I love it so much I think I've read SOC and CK near to twenty times each now and this still makes me laugh every damn time.

I'm going to split this into two parts from here because this is the splitting point in the chapter and this is already a pretty long post. Thanks so much for reading this, sorry it's been a while for me to post it. I'm loving this line-by-line analysis series already (I know this is only the second post but I'm still excited) but they do take a long time to put together, particularly because at this time I don't currently have an annotated version of either book. Although I am planning to buy fresh copies for the purposes of annotating them when I get the opportunity, I currently don't have my ideas recorded anywhere except this account so whenever I write a post I'm working entirely from memory beyond the actual quotes themselves (and sometimes including them too haha) or even coming up with new ideas as I write. Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it, and if you have any questions please keep sending them in I know I haven't responded to any for a little while but I love getting them and I am working through my inbox, if a bit slowly :)

[raccoonfallsharder]

Window Across the Galaxy masterlist

navigation | fanfiction masterlist | nsfw masterlist | collections masterlist 18+ only MDNI | rocket x f!oc | 27/27 chapters | word count: 235,940. spice ✩ | some smut ❤︎‬ | much smut ❤︎‬❤︎‬

girl falls first; raccoon falls harder.

Rocket is captured by a Ravager crew hoping to get rich off the excessively large bounty on his head. Throwing a wrench in everyone’s plans is the Terran girl they hired to do some freelance assessing on a recent haul of goods they’ve seized from a Xandaran luxury liner. Oops.

slight AU starting pre-GOTG volume 1 (but will hit most of the same major plot points). slow burn + eventual smut with a lot of pining in the middle. kinda enemies-to-lovers? (but only one of these idiots thinks they're enemies).

let me be real with you: this fic is really about wish-fulfillment. not just the eventual smut (but that too). mostly i just want someone to be nice to my best boy raccoon

✧･ﾟ:*collects Chapters I-XXVII and ART!!! plus a holiday special && a silly epilogue below

so many amazing sweet wonderful readers have drawn fanart of this fic??? ♡♡♡♡♡ jolie is written without much physical description so you can imagine whatever you want but if you'd like to see how i and others imagine her, i've linked them below. thank you for being the absolute sweetest.

jolie's painting of rocket by @hibataao3 makes me cry every time i look at it

very first portrait of jolie by @raccoonmybeloved ~ so fucking cute i died

sims of jo by @evolvingchaoswitch ~ particularly love her paint-spattered outfit

an absolutely drool-worthy nsfw of rocket & jolie by @lazarel-3000 that permanently has altered my brain chemistry and lives in my mind forever ♡♡♡

adorable jolie sketches by @moonnpiie that truly capture what i mean when i describe jo as having “everywhere-hair.” plus her lil art-glove! (and a really cute rocket)

the cutest jo by @frostedwitch in her chapter xxvii sweatshirt. she is so cute with such shiny eyes and cute freckles and i love her so so so much! ♡♡♡

this shiny-haired jo by @miinsie! i love her hair so much in this one - it almost looks iridescent. i swoon. thank you for taking the time to read and to share this lovely interpretation of jolie with me!

and here are my jolie character concepts (complete full-color illo & rough doodles), an illustration of one of my fave scenes from window, and a shiny lineless portrait of my girl ♡

spice ✩ | some smut ❤︎‬ | much smut ❤︎‬❤︎‬

Chapter I. A Delicacy. in which our reluctant heroes meet atop a crate of Sovereign porn in the bowels of a Ravager ship.

Chapter II. Monster For A Pet. in which one hero wrestles with his inner Groot, and the other is quite possibly a moron.

Chapter III. A Kindness. in which Rocket gets in his own damn way: not for the first time, and certainly not for the last.

Chapter IV. Got There First. in which our heroes obtain an arsenal and street food.

Chapter V. Things No-One Has Said Before. in which one hero refuses to babysit and the other refuses to leave.

Chapter VI. Two and a Half Billion Units. in which we lean into the “they were roommates” trope. Jolie has misgivings, while Rocket has fantasies - about getting rich, of course.

Chapter VII. I'm Here. in which we visit Knowhere.

Chapter VIII. The Care & Feeding of Human Pets. in which our heroes practice breathing and we lean into a new trope: “there was (technically) one bed.”

Chapter IX. Scrapmetal and a Dream. in which we redefine homemaking.

Chapter X. Thin Fucking Ice. in which our heroes get fucked. Not in the good way.

Chapter XI. Let It Be .in which Xandar is saved and good lives are lost.

Chapter XII. So Much It Hurts. in which we try not to fuck up the vibes.

Chapter XIII. Don’t Wait. in which a lost sister is found and Drax grapples with the concept of sarcasm.

Chapter XIV. Exactly Like a Flower. in which comfort is shared.

Chapter XV: Galaxy-Breaking Shit. in which more comfort is shared, and life is good. Briefly.

Chapter XVI. Run. in which Rocket falls victim to his superstitions.

Chapter XVII. A Seedling. A Fox. A Little Girl. in which the party is divided.

Chapter XVIII. I Happen to Know a Guy. in which our heroes get fucked. Again. Still not in the good way.

Chapter XIX. He Was Loved. in which a planet is killed, a friend is made and lost, and nobody still has any frickin’ tape.

Chapter XX. Some Nerve. ✩ in which an ultimatum is given.

Chapter XXI. I Very Still. ❤︎❤︎ in which our heroes get fucked. In the good way, this time. Finally.

Chapter XXII. Got There Worse. ❤︎❤︎ in which Rocket does not say "I love you."

Chapter XXIII. We're Gonna Need a Bigger Table. ❤︎ in which the galaxy just keeps spinning.

Chapter XXIV. Space Would Be Better. ❤︎❤︎ in which Rocket ~ discreetly ~ claims the title of boyfriend.

Chapter XXV. Little Love Stories. in which both of our heroes learn a little about themselves. ❤︎

Chapter XXVI. Other Side of the Window. in which old friends are reunited. ❤︎

Chapter XXV. The Most Beautiful Thing in My House. in which our heroes finally get what they deserve.❤︎

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ Winter Across the Galaxy * ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ a holiday special ✩

Epilogue: Interviewing Rocket & Jo. ten years after Window ends. short, silly fluff.

crystal divider by @/cafekitsune | mdni & support banners by @/saradika-graphics

[williamrikers]

Some Personal BL Highlights of 2024

i made this post a year ago, so i'm going to do a retrospective this year, too! let's go! (i am including shows that started airing in 2023 but finished their run in 2024)

Best Show

i thought long and hard about this, but i think the title needs to go to century of love this year. this show knew exactly what it wanted to say, told its story without ever losing sight of the big picture, used every single minute of its runtime wisely and was just a wonderful experience overall.

Most Rewatchable Show And Best Main Couple

that said, jack & joker gripped me by the throat and hasn't let me go. is this show perfect? no. will i be obsessed with it for the foreseeable future? yes. this is definitely the most brainworms-inducing show of the year, and it has a very special place in my heart.

Best Sensuality

THAT SAID, i would be remiss if i didn't mention love sea anywhere near the best shows of the year, because whew! what an offering! the final battle in the sensuality bracket this year was yinwar vs fortpeat for me, and as much as i love and adore yinwar... fortpeat did That. so. yeah.

The Scene That Came For My Life The Most

uh, the fox spirit scene on century of love. need i say more? 😵‍💫

Best Premise (That Was Utterly Ruined By The Show)

congratulations, wandee goodday! this year, you had the chance to become one of my favorite shows, and then the actual plot was so badly written that i ended up not watching the final two episodes. this isn't even the largest bone i have to pick with p'golf this year, because among the new categories, i am introducing

Worst Sex Scene

... and the rebound has got this one in the bag. it's not even so bad it's good, no, it's just dumb! this show is also the reason why going forward, i won't watch anything made by p'golf anymore, which is an achievement in and of itself, i guess?

Best Side Couple

moving on to greener pastures, who could forget jj and methas bickering on this love doesn't have long beans? their enemies to lovers storyline was everything to me.

Most Beautiful Brown Eyes

one thing i can say for wandee goodday, i had to make this category for my man podd, because that one shot of him in the sunlight? yeag. gave me immediate psychic damage because he was too beautiful. absolutely incomprehensibly beautiful brown eyes. that one shot has lived in my brain rent free for months now and i still think about it regularly.

Best Confession Scene

battle of the writers was a fascinating mess of a show, and as much as none of the plot made any sense, they somehow managed to write the best confession scene ever conceived for pie and ozone. i wish i could recommend this show just for that, but no, i really can't.

Most Poetic Cinema

hands down, peaceful property episode 7 should go down in gmmtv history as the best and most tragically poetic story ever told. once again, forcebook showed us the kind of magic they can do when they are given a good script, and i for one am awaiting melody of secrets with baited breath.

Most Unhinged Watching Experience

this list would not be complete without mentioning pit babe. was pit babe "good"? i honestly don't know. but it was definitely wild. it was so much goddamn fun watching this from week to week and definitely one of my favorite watching experiences of the whole year.

Best Toxic Yaoi

where 2023 lacked toxic yaoi, 2024 gave us a beautiful tableau of toxicity that i enjoyed immensely. the highlight i want to point out here is my stand-in, although the runners-up dead friend forever and 4 minutes deserve to be mentioned as well.

Best Actor

i feel the need to include this category this year because fuaiz thanawat just blew me away. out of all the great performances in the aforementioned toxic yaoi, he truly stood out as the young actor to watch. rumour has it that he and jjay are going to headline their own show soon (-ish?), and i am absolutely thrilled at the prospect! fuaiz deserves the world. he is just absolutely brilliant.

Wildest BL Moment

uh, nude uncensored dick on 4 minutes. i literally still cannot believe they did that. once again, boc is out there casually redefining the limitations of the genre.

Most Anticipated Show Of 2025

somehow, still my golden blood??? i have been waiting for this show for OVER A YEAR NOW, and i NEED IT 😭😭😭😭 thank god this is actually going to air soon, otherwise i might implode.

[boopboops22]

*breaks down door* BOOK HUSBANDS

Oh no my door- BOOK HUSBANDS!!! Dude omg I've been thinking about them nonstop, here's some ramblings of ideas I have about them:

In my head they're in a sort of QPR, they love eachother but their expression of it has been strained and definitely not typical human romance yk.

After the Armageddindnt, Crowley pushes the boundaries of their relationship and tests what they haven't allowed themselves to have. He's too fearful of the other shoe dropping to do everything he wants to do, but he is definitely being just affectionate enough to drive Aziraphale mad. Aziraphale finally says fuck it and takes that proper leap that Crowley was to scared to take.

In my head Aziraphale taking that leap is what propells them into being openly affectionate and eventually getting a cottage ehehe

I adore Crowley and Aziraphale being simultaneous cowards and brave in opposite ways. Crowley taking the first step but too nervous to push further than that, meanwhile Aziraphale will stall that first step forever before absolutely barreling through. Just them being equal and opposite in the best ways to balance eachother out <3

I also think about how Crowley was So Terrified when Adam saw through him.... just like, him knowing he's good and kind and loves an angel and is so so scared of anyone knowing. But when Aziraphale points out that he's good he doesn't do anything other than kvetching a bit.

Also also also auhg.!! When Aziraphale runs into the bookshop and leaves Crowley at the car and it says "Crowley suddenly felt very alone" (or somth I can't remember exactly) that shit broke my heart!!!!

They're their only freinds and people they can trust and they love eachother so much and I need them to live happily ever after in a cottage

I've had an idea for what s2's plot events might look like in the book universe and I fear it will be stuck in WIP hell forever and ever along with my other few fics I've tried to write 😔

What are some of your fav book husbands things?? I adore all you art of them, btw!! It's always so sweet :-)

[fantasyforlife-reviews]

The Naturals - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

As a huge fan of profiling and true crime, this book seemed like the absolute perfect choice for a little break from fantasy books. (Please, don't come for me!🫣)

'The Naturals' is a series that has been on my To Be Read-List for a while now and the first book didn't disappoint. It's a Young Adult Crime and Mystery book that revolves around the 17-year-old Cassie Hobbes, who is invited to join an FBI program called "The Naturals", because of her natural ability to profile people.

Intrigued, she accepts and moves to Washington, D.C. to train her skills and become a real profiler. She isn't the only one living in the Safehouse, though. Her roommate Sloane has a talent for numbers and statistics, Lia is a human lie detector, Michael reads people like a book by their body language and Dean is another profiler. While Agent Lacey Locke begins her training, Cassie learns more and more about the other teenagers in the program and unravels one secret after the other. Soon it becomes clear that the serial killer their supervisors try to catch has an interest in her and her new friends participating in the hunt …

Guys, hear me out. To read this book was so refreshing and I bet there were a lot of readers who felt the same. Cassie and the others are smart, efficient and so effortlessly written. Like, you could imagine them living exactly like that in that Safehouse. Five teenagers who are in different stages of their personal development. I loved everything about it and what I loved the most, was that Cassie thinks LOGICALLY!👏

Yes, she has a heart, but her head is stronger than that and I enjoyed that so much. No stupid emotional choices, no heartbroken revenge - all that stuff. Cassie thinks about her feelings and how they affect those around her. She wants to be a comfort place for those she cares about and tries to swallow her trauma every single day. She reminded me so much of a soft version of Katniss Everdeen in another universe.

When I think about Sloane, I have to say that she is such a cute and in many ways relatable character - which is kind of scary, because she is definitely crazy. She is super sweet and adorable with all her quirks. I loved every interaction between Cassie and her.

Lia, on the other hand, is on my To Be Murdered-List. Yes, she has her heartbreaking story about her past and all, but that's no excuse to be shitty. She has her moments, definitely, but if I had been in Cassie's position, at some point I would have slapped her without hesitation. She triggered all my dark and evil desires - like murder🔪.

Moving on to the boys: Dean has my heart entirely! Though I found out way too late his hair is blonde which triggers my entire image of him. To me, he has black hair. Period. That mysterious, self-punishing, dark boy who cannot help himself, but care for the others (except Michael)? 10/10🔥.

And then there is Michael, and I am sorry to everyone out there who crushes on him, but that boy was on my nerves! Immature, annoying and an ego bigger than a skyscraper. And I know, here opinions are divided, he can be sweet and all, but that's still a big 'No!'❌️ from me.

But now what I disliked about the book: While reading, I felt like the story was served half raw. Something about crime books is that the entire thing has to be thought through in the tiniest detail. Whoever investigates follows the traces back to the murderer, because it all already happened. And reading this book felt different. As if the author was still building the entire plot and planned to go into an entirely different direction, before deciding else. Reading the final wasn't that feeling of everything falling into place, but rather: What a convenient explanation ... To me, it didn't truly make sense, so I was disappointed there. Besides the fact that all of this is unrealistic - the FBI seeking the help of five teenagers to catch a serial killer and all - this was the final straw for me to only give four stars. The information about profiling and that entire area of expertise was researched very well and I enjoyed it all. I even read that book in one sitting while my cat underwent surgery, but while I am looking forward to the rest of the series, I feel like the entire plot of Cassie being personally involved in the case would have made more sense in the second or third book.

All in all, this book was great and I definitely am going to recommend reading it. The characters were so well written, including Lia and Michael and I cannot wait to learn how their stories evolve. There was an amazing balance between their personal lives and struggles and the actual case that was going on, which I really enjoyed. I just think that most of my complaints could have been fixed if there would have been more thinking and editing of the final story.

Spicyometer: 0/5

Romanceometer: ❤️❤️.5/5

Tropes: The Gifted💫, Love Triangle💞, Secret Government Program🫆, Tragic Past🥀, Elite Training⚔️, Found Family🧡

Bonus: None

This is the link to a Spotify playlist, that may make reading this book a whole different experience: 🎵 https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6C0JBHOz5gKoaeC3UWqdQf?si=603c064e21ec4e10 🎵

What do you think? Let me know in the comments if you agree with my review and if you like Dean or Michael better. To everyone who hasn't read this book yet, come back after you did and tell me about your thoughts. I hope you get to enjoy the book as much as I did. Hopefully, I hear from you soon!