#the flash! barry allen

[ynbabe]

The Flash x male!reader :- pt.1 incorrect quotes

Barry: I just watched Y/N jump off of a spinning chair. Luckily, he wasn't hurt that badly. But the whole time, Caitlyn was screaming for help, which caused Cisco to run in to help Y/N. Just note that all of this happened in the span of six seconds.

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Cisco: Made you all playlists! Cisco: Y/N, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul. Cisco: Caitlyn, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression. Cisco: And Barry has the ABBA Gold album.

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Caitlyn, being serious: Which country has the most birds? Caitlyn: Portu-geese! Barry: That's a language. Caitlyn: Portu-gull? Barry: Good recovery. Cisco: I think you mean good re-dovery. Y/N: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?

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Barry: That's ridiculous, Y/N doesn't have a crush on me. Cisco: Yes he does. Caitlyn: Yes he does. Y/N: Yes I do.

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Barry: Question, how difficult would it be to bowl in a bee suit? Caitlyn: Not that hard, I don't think, as long as you can move. Y/N: I'd assume as hard as it is to bowl in a maid outfit. Y/N: Wouldn't be any harder, but you'd get some WEIRD looks. Cisco: Are. Are you speaking from experience. Y/N: No! Y/N: Y/N: ....Maybe.

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Cisco: *Gasp* Caitlyn: wHAT?? Cisco: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish? Caitlyn: *inhales* Y/N, in another room with Barry: Why can I hear screeching?

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Caitlyn: Words ending in 'ie' just sound so adorable. Like cutie, sweetie, cookie- Cisco: Eyy, homie! Barry: But then there's cootie... Y/n: Die.

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Caitlyn: I truly believe that water can solve all your problems. Cisco: Weight loss? Drink water. Barry: Clear skin? Drink water. Y/N: Want to get rid of someone? Drown them.

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Y/N: Guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you… Barry and I are dating. Barry, Iris, Caitlyn, and Cisco: *gasp* Y/N: Barry, why are you surprised?!

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Barry: Look guys, I need help. Cisco: Love help? Caitlyn: Financial help? Iris: Emotional help? Y/n: Help moving a body? *Everybody looks at Y/n* Y/n: What?

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Iris: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be? Caitlyn: Maybe a bit tipsy? Cisco: Drunk. Y/n and Barry, dumbass speedsters: Dead.

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*The gang's thoughts on stabbing* Caitlyn: Would never stab anyone. Barry: Would stab someone in retaliation. Cisco: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first. Iris: Would stab without warning. Y/N: Would stab as a warning.

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Caitlyn: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell. Barry, Y/N, and Cisco: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

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Y/n: You’ve got to learn to love yourself. Barry: But don't you hate yourself. Y/n: Yeah, but this is about you. Stay focused.

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Barry: I have a problem. Y/n: Kill it. Barry: Can you chill for like, two seconds?

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Barry: What are you eating? Y/n: You wouldn't like it, it's really salty. Barry: I like you, don't I?

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Y/n: *Kicks the door open to Barry’s room, looking panicked* Barry, used to this already: What did you do?! Y/n: NOBODY DIED! Barry, not used to this: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

[lovelylonelymoonlight]

Bruce unintentionally dissing the league while praising his kids is so funny to me

Bruce: we need an expert marksman for this job

Oliver: *getting ready to stand up to fully accept Bruce’s praise*

Bruce: Redhood will be here shortly. We also need someone quick on their feet. Luckily Cass is working on a case nearby so we can ask her

[lovesick-joey]

youtube content in the dc universe

sequel

[frownyalfred]

reactions to Batman coming up to the Watchtower for a JL meeting without his cowl just wearing a domino mask, in order of hilarity:

oh no he’s hot (Clark)

he’s older than I thought he was (Diana)

he’s younger than I thought he was (Hal)

he has hair??? (Barry)

why do I recognize that scar above his left eyebrow? (both Dinah and Ollie, simultaneously)

good lord how is he so hot (still Clark)

[pinkiemachine]

Hehehe…

[ftl-faster-than-life]

Honestly I think it’s so funny that in the Marvel universe, when someone’s really smart, they have like eight to twelve doctorates and they finished high school at age twelve.

And then over in the DC universe it’s like. This is Tim Drake. He’s a genius. He keeps cloning his loved ones. He dropped out of highschool. Over there is Barry Allen. He can reverse engineer a spaceship in less than a minute. He is such a good chemist he’s still going to be known as the best chemist in 4,000 years. He has a bachelor’s degree.

[bats-and-the-birds]

Justice League scenario where they meet little tiny Dick Grayson as Robin and immediately start taking bets on what on earth he is because the answer is obviously not human.

Green Lantern: I think Bats made a genetic clone of himself. One of his contingency plans, you know? If something happens to him, he has a well trained double to take his place eventually.

Green Arrow: No way! I refuse to believe anything that shares genetics with Batman could smile. I bet he's an alien that Batman found and ran tests on. I mean, have you seen the kid? I don't think he has bones.

Flash: Alien is a possibily, but have you seen the stuff the comes out of Gotham? I bet he just materialized out of the shadows one day. His smile scares me, I think he has to be a demon of some sort.

Dick Grayson, hanging upside down from a hanging light above them, where he has been silently eavesdropping the entire time: I am a normal human boy.

Lantern, Arrow, and Flash: -extended screaming-

[arkangelo-7]

Things Bruce Wayne does at Justice League meetings that 100% confirm the fact that he is a Dad.

Makes attempts at referencing pop culture to try and relate to the younger members. The most memorable instance is when he told Flash to “keep running up that hill.” (Dick laughs for an hour when Wally tells him about it.)

Does the iconic groan/grunt whenever he sits down in his chair. It’s hilarious, but no one is dumb enough to laugh at the Batman.

Ensures that the background music exclusively plays Matchbox 20 and Nirvana. Diana is the only one who enjoys this.

Actively complain about how everyone is “ruining his floor” whenever they push back their chairs.

On that note, he also complains about crumbs getting everywhere whenever someone is snacking.

Will (covertly) ask Clark for grilling tips during breaks. Oliver overhears this once and has to go lay down out of shock, because Batman? Grilling?

Declines requests for new equipment/tools/etc. because they “have that at the Watchtower.” This inevitably leads to complaining from the entire JL.

Always, without fail, will ask Hal if he’s changed the oil in the spacecraft recently. Hal doesn’t know whether to be offended or not.

Randomly interrogates members on if they’ve messed with the Hall of Justice’s thermostat. They have not, in fact, touched the thermostat.

Someone needs to stop me because I literally cannot get the image of Bruce being the Typical Dad (tm) of the Justice League.

[jhonnyhotbody]

How u one of the strongest in DC but loose to ADHD?

[deadsetobsessions]

Sea Cryptic! Danny AU- Pt.3

[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.7] [Pt.8] [Pt.9] [Pt.10]

“Aquaman.” Batman swept into the room, beelining straight for the suddenly apprehensive Atlantean king.

“Batman. What can I do for you?”

“Phantom. Does he pay taxes?”

“Pardon?”

Batman makes a low noise that had Aquaman’s danger senses buzzing.

“Does Phantom have to pay taxes. Towards Atlantis.”

“No…? Why?”

“He wanted money, in exchange for… information, of a delicate sort,” Batman said, diplomatically avoiding the topic of Phantom bargaining for the identities of corpses in exchange for a measly $100 dollars per identity. Like a flea market dealer, that one was.

“You encountered Phantom again?” Aquaman perked up.

“Yes. Gotham’s bay is… polluted.” Batman paused. “With victims. Of murder.”

The entire area quieted as heads turned towards the Dark Knight.

“Yes, I am… distantly aware of Gotham’s waters.” By that, Aquaman gets green around the gills whenever he turns his awareness in that direction. There’s a reason he doesn’t enter Gotham, and the Dark Knight’s ban is only half of that reason. “Ah, but you’re correct. For what purpose would Phantom need mortal currency?”

“Hn.”

“Maybe he needs some stuff?” Flash zipped to a stop next to Batman, feet tapping as he dug into the pile of snacks cradled in his arms. “Us mortals are always coming up with new things, maybe he wants to try some games or something?”

Batman tilted his head down, seriously considering Flash’s suggestion. “It’s plausible.”

“Barry, Barry, Barry. He’s old as hell, right? He probably wants to try the new booze!”

“Hal, my man!” Flash fist bumped Green Lantern, who came up. “You’re back! What happened to John?”

“Dunno. He got called somewhere that way,” Green Lantern waved a vague hand towards the left. “Had to deal with a politician or something from that area.” He shrugged, swinging an arm over Barry’s shoulders to put him in a headlock and stealing a chip.

“Huh. Anyways, would our mortal alcohol even work on a demi-god or something?”

“We should ask!” Hal turned towards Batman. “You should ask if he wants to go for a drink, spooky!”

“He’s a child.”

“He’s been around for more than a millennia, Bats.”

“Informational gathering, right, Hal?” Flashgot out of the headlock, quickly munching on his snacks to stop Green Lantern from stealing them.

“Totally. Yup.”

“…Fine.”

“Wait, are we just gonna ignore that Gotham’s waters are full of bodies?”

“Yes.”

——

“What?” Danny asked, mind half on the bags he’s dragging out of the water and the other half on the essay he has to submit in about four hours.

“Green Lantern wanted to invite you out for a drink.”

Danny turned to the stoic Gotham knight, who had his wrist computer out to log the bodies’ info the moment Danny gave him the information. Some of them even told Danny who murdered them, so Batman could start building cases with solid leads.

Danny’s only twenty. He’s not legal yet but he doesn’t want to give any clues to who he is. How is he supposed to…

Ah!

“Can’t.” Danny shrugged. “I’m not legal. I died when I was fourteen so…” Danny trailed off, speechless at the drowned puppy face Batman was giving him. What the fuck.

“Anyways, fork over my payment.”

Batman wordlessly hands him a wad of hundreds.

“What do you need cash for?” Batman suddenly asked.

“Huh? Isn’t it obvious?” Danny tucked it in. “Material things, obviously. I need a blanket,” because holy shit, Gotham is damn cold this time of year. “Anyways, see you same time next week, litterer.”

“I don’t litter.”

“Tell that to the batarangs I found under the water,” Danny grumbled. “But I’ll stop calling you that if you get a signature from Poison Ivy. I have a friend who loves her.”

“An alive friend?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy?”

Danny snickered and disappeared. He’s gotta cram that essay.

——

“There’s a possibility Phantom might be homeless.”

“Batman, I mean this in the nicest way, but for the love of Atlantis, please stop giving me headaches. It’s time like these I wish I stayed a lighthouse keeper.”

[terrestrialnoob]

Delilah has been transferred into the bigger and better funded Central City Zoo! Of course Danny's invited to come visit her, he's specifically one of the few people allowed to be in the same physical space as one of the worlds deadliest wild animals, specifically, the most violent and aggressive species of gorilla. All because Delilah, at some point, convinced herself that Danny is her baby and she pretty much refuses to hurt him in any way. She will groom him, and share her food with him, and sits him down to teach him her signs, and play very, very gently with her weak human baby, even though she insists, through sign, that he's very strong. The primatologists always lose their minds when Danny visits, as Delilah doesn't let any other human ape of any kind within five feet of her without a sedative. Depending on her mood, she might even try to keep Danny safe away from other humans. He's her baby, you see.

Unfortunately, the new World's Deadliest Gorilla exhibit attracts the attention of Grodd. The hyper-intelligent meta-gorilla wants to use the worlds deadliest gorilla to get vengeance on the Flash for ruining his world domination plans, and he doesn't really care if some human child gets hurt in the process. In fact, that'll probably hurt the Flash more.

[ratbagdc]

Playing around with the blur effects,it'll probably take me awhile to settle on one.

[theerurishipper]

One thing I appreciate in The Batman (2004) show is the way Dick is always helping people up.

Like, my boy is always helping everyone out. It's such a Dick Grayson thing to do. I love that they put that little detail in there.

[lovesick-joey]

happy holidays!!

[toytle]

don’t sweat it bro 💦

i imagine that this was early into their friendship, so barry wasn’t used to hal’s… sense of humor

[ID in alt + readmore]

Panel 1: Hal is grabbing a deodorant out of his locker, his GL suit disappearing in a band of green light to reveal civilian clothes. Barry, in full Flash garb, opens up his own locker, and Hal tries to make small talk: “You probably go through deodorant like crazy, huh.”

Panel 2: From the POV of the lockers, Barry pulls back his cowl and says: “Eh. It actually takes a lot for me to work up a sweat.” The band of green light continues to dematerialize Hal’s GL suit, but his mask remains. Putting on deodorant, Hal responds: “Really? I guess that makes sense. High speed, high stamina.”

Panel 2: From the POV of the lockers, Barry pulls back his cowl and says: “Eh. It actually takes a lot for me to work up a sweat.” The band of green light continues to dematerialize Hal’s GL suit, but his mask remains. Putting on deodorant, Hal responds: “Really? I guess that makes sense. High speed, high stamina.”

Panel 3: Hal caps his deodorant when he suddenly lights up, an idea popping into his head in the form of a lightbulb.

Panel 3: Hal caps his deodorant when he suddenly lights up, an idea popping into his head in the form of a lightbulb.

Panel 4: Hal nods in Barry’s direction and says with a playful grin: “I bet girls love it.”

Panel 5: Barry leans back to look at Hal and, as if he isn’t sure he heard correctly, asks: “What?” Hal’s face is partially obscured off-screen, hidden in shadow and his locker door, keeping a small grin to himself.

Panel 6: Hal drags it out: “I’m just saying…” He puts a hand on the locker door, his mask beginning to dissipate. “Girls like a guy that can last…”

Panel 7: Shutting the locker door, Hal turns his head towards Barry and gives him a suggestive smile. “…and it’s not just girls.” The last of his mask evaporates, framing the corner of his eye with a sparkle.

Part 8: Barry is taken aback, red in the face and sweating profusely. A lightning bolt strikes the back of the panel like a spiking heart rate as question marks surround him.

Panel 9: Hal grins delightedly, hands in his pockets all casual like his little joke didn’t give Barry a mini-heart attack: “Ha! Guess it doesn’t take much after all!” Barry’s expression is unreadable under his blush, but his shoulders are drawn up and hunched in defeat. He responds in a wordless ellipsis, but the sweating speaks for itself.

[pinkiemachine]

Concept: an episode of the Justice League cartoon where the MCs get sucked into a 90s teen movie… powers get reset to when they were that age.