#the desire to be together at all times
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thinking about the sinnoh trio when they came out of the distortion world
they didnt come through the spear pillar
they fell out of the sky
and during those moments surrounded by a sunset
they all just held hands together. watching the sky.
announcing to each other how much they treasure each other and want to be together and how much they think their lives have changed because of the journey they had together
and even if they're doomed to live eternally
they'll all be ok
because all they need is each otehr
#THEYRE JUST SO#THE ONLY PERSON THEY CAN TRUST MORE THAN EACH OTHER IS THEMSELVES#NO MATTER WHAT SITUATION THEY KNOW THEY'LL COME OUT OK#BECAUSE THE THREE OF THEM ALL HAVE EACH OTHER#gwa fbhkafhbbd h ajsfaadnasas#even when they're not together the pining that starts from this moment#the desire to be together at all times#the bonding#the need#there's no universe where they can't be together#it doesn't register in their minds#even for lucas who's come to find his place among the other two despite feeling like he was intruding on something special initially#this is where he and the other two belong#the#jsut#wadbshafbfhbhdsfdakdsna#they make me so ill#i love scarfship so much guys#one of the comfort ships of all time#they just love and trust each other so much#pokemashe#what if it happens again in hisui. waht if. this time they just marvel in how beautiful the world looks. cinematic parallels#like#they fall after the incident that causes the three of them to resent the world#and then they fall after the incident that causes the three of them to realize they actually do love the world#the difference between now and then is that after the distortion world it happens at dusk whereas after hisui it happens at dawn#thinkingg thinking
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Curry pt. i // Curry pt. ii
yeah alright okay. fine. cool. alright. yeah
#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#dm spoilers#dmposting#thistle#delgal#melinis#touden siblings#laios#falin#fam#roomba media#spiritual successors who are also literal successors. gets me where it hurts#also yes i did cherry pick which TLs left the most impact on me personally#thistle's dialogue in the original japanese is apparently written in hiragana in the above panel which gives it a childish feel in spite of#the burden he's carrying. and there is something about 'we'll be together forever' that conveys that so well#and i LOVE laios apologizing for being late considering how much shade is thrown at him in universe and out for#supposedly caring about his monster interest more than falin. but he DOES love her she IS the most important thing to him#he thinks her monster form is so cool but he promises to change her back THAT'S most important to him#imagining the guilt he carries over that disparity between his greatest desire and what's most important to him is gut-wrenching though#neurodivergent feelings manga of all time#one set of siblings regressing to a point of no return and caging themselves in#and the other set growing into fully-realized people breaking free of their cages inheriting the kingdom of the first#phew
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many people are afraid to be real lovers. dan and phil are not
#trying to decide whether I should elaborate or not#yes they’re friends soulmates turtles ranch everlasting pieces of furniture#but they are also lovers#they love each other#and that is real and it is beautiful how they’ve come to accept that they can unashamedly and openly love each other#it’s like when people say we don’t think of their content as couples content#bc they call themselves a couple of besties for the beautiful thing called the bit#but. they are a couple fr#if you asked me years ago I would think it’s so cringe to spend all your time with one person and be attached at the hip with them#but love can be so beautiful. i desire love and companionship#there’s nothing wrong with that and dnp have shown me how safe and comfortable and loving a relationship can be#not to be parasocial but sometimes I spiral thinking about the fact that I’m a normal person and will never be one half of a duo#living out their fun rich silly happy dream lives together after 15 years together#but like I’m a normal person. that will never happen#and that’s okay because love exists in other forms#this world is full of beautiful love stories#theirs just happens to be one that has been at the forefront of my mind for a decade#sorry for being weird!#yapping in the tags#dnp#dan and phil#phan#my thots
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This was going to be a panel of a little comic but I got too invested in drawing minute background details so, here.
#They are having an argument over 1) whether crops can be grown on the moons 2) what - if any - impact does this have on the feasibility#of an afterlife being located on the moons#Brakul is a partial convert to the Imperial Wardi faith but this mostly entails having adopted the seven faced God (and some#other elements of the belief system) into his worldview and participating in expected rites while retaining his central#ancestor veneration practices completely unchanged and mostly prioritized.#This doesn't actually cause much friction in of itself with the big exception being disagreements on the afterlife#Wardi practices surrounding death prioritize proper handling of the corpse and funerary rites in order to get the dead where they#need to be- death is a fraught transition from one state to another. analogous to birth. The role of the living is to get the dead through#this transition (preventing them from being stuck earthbound as earthbound ghosts - which is the Bad afterlife). Once the dead#make it to the moons that's it. They don't really interact with the living. There's plenty of conceptualization of what it's Like#in the lunar lands but the cultural priority is not even slightly on the Logistics of existence there.#Whereas the CORE of religious practice among the Hill Tribes is ancestor veneration - ancestors remain interactive with the living#and require/desire their continual support. They are conceptualized as having earthlike 'lives' where they eat and drink#and grow crops and herd livestock and they need the support of the living (in prayers and offerings) to do so prosperously.#There is a HIGH cultural priority on the logistics of their afterlife and it's self-apparent that the world of the dead needs fertile earth#to support them.#So like bottom line Brakul thinks there's no goddamn way that the moons could support an afterlife (they are described as#barren rock that was flung into the sky during creation and certainly Look that way)#and that the Wardi are just wrong about their afterlife's location. They probably go to the celestial fields (which are located#behind the moons and stars) like everyone else#And Janeys finds this aggravating and doesn't see his fucking point but has developed a nagging concern that Brakul Could be#partly right in that the celestial fields could Maybe exist in addition to the lunar lands.#So like maybe they aren't going to go to the same place when they die?#He's already terrified that he'll be stuck as an earthbound ghost and really doesn't want to be even further separated so#he figures he should make sure he gets himself dead and cremated at the same time as Brakul so they can navigate the#transitional period together.#Brakul is unconcerned because he figures that if Janeys actually does get stuck on those barren ass moons he can just kinda#Go Get Him#Ancestor spirits fly to the earth all the time and the moons would be a much shorter distance. Probably wouldn't be an issue.#Long story short these disagreements and underlying anxieties result in fights over whether you can grow corn on the moons or nah
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personally i think they can do 70s/80s devil's minion while keeping it so that modern dm still needs a ton of development to Work, because they both have to navigate their feelings now even if daniel gets his memories back. there's the layers of betrayal and resentment they both feel; the fact that they've been apart for decades and have gone through life since then being shaped separately; the circumstances of daniel's turning— theyre all things they still have to work through, with or without an extended history between them.
for daniel, just because he might remember what he felt back then, it doesn't mean he automatically feels the same because of it now. maybe it could even be that he doesn't remember everything all at once; only the cat and mouse game at the beginning of their relationship, or the hopelessness and ruin at the end of it, or the addiction, and for a long time that's all he can remember. maybe he remembers it all but he can't connect what he felt then to what he feels now. it doesn't have to be a switch that flips and suddenly brings back all his old feelings and erases everything else.
for armand, there's an aspect to it that he has to come to love this more experienced version of the boy he once knew, one who is extremely sharp and much better at seeing right through him, one who is not dependant on him or his blood, one who has utterly dismantled everything he was clinging onto for decades, and, now armand's turned daniel, one he can't read the mind of like he used to. even if some things have stayed the same, their entire dynamic has shifted from what was once familiar.
so, even though past dm could be an easy way to go "they were in love once so of course they'll fall in love again", i don't think that's what would happen. in my opinion them having a history would add to their present dynamic but things are so different now it's pretty much brand new territory for them going forward.
#maybe im just biased but i really think it would enhance everything because then its like#falling in love with the same person twice in distinct ways both times. yknow#and the flavour of toxicity and drama and devotion is also different. between human + vampire then fledgling + maker decades later#fear and resentment and love and desire mingling together but not in the same way in both eras#i also think more of daniel's memory being suppressed by armand would be grounds for more distrust on top of everything else#not so much daniel going 'i forgive you because i loved you once'#and at the same time a past relationship isnt gonna make armand go 'i forgive you for blowing up my current marriage and ruining everything#this isn't even mentioning the circumstances of what their final breakup mightve been like and how that affects everything#anyway tldr past dm could be used as a shortcut for modern dm but i dont think it has to be at all#iwtv#devil's minion#armandaniel
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I have all of these extended thoughts on my head about the amazing way themes and character relationships are handled in Iruma-kun and the inclusion of queerness and the handling of the coming of age narrative in this shonen manga/anime
And every time all that comes out when I'm reccing it is "You should watch/read it"
Do it. Go watch/read Mairimashita! Iruma-kun/Welcome to Demon School Iruma-kun
Please.
#mairimashita! iruma kun#m!ik#welcome to demon school iruma kun#i just be ramblin#anime recommendation#manga recommendation#Like okay baseline on its surface it's an isekai anime about a teenage boy who is sold to a demon by his terrible parents and has to go to#school in the demon realm and live there without being found out (otherwise he thinks he'll be eaten)#But it's also a story about growing up and a story about a kid from a terrible situation learning what it means to (and being allowed to)#have goals and ambitions and wants#It's about a kid who gets all his needs met for the first time in his life (and a little spoiled) and figures out he wants everyone to have#that#It's about friendship and bonds and the importance of working together with others#It debunks that usual take about how humanity's base traits are evil and greed and the urge to murder and steal and whatnot through#the comparison to demons‚ who are said to be all of those things at their core and yet in actuality aren't beholden to it#It's about outcasts coming together not letting other people determine their worth and proving just how high they can reach and what they#can accomplish. they force the world to recognize them instead of assimilating#It's about what happens to outcasts who are taken in by bad actors vs outcasts who get genuine support#It's about kindness#It's about how adults should both help the next generation improve while also being their defenders from things they shouldn't have to#handle yet#It's even about the dangers of being fully selfless or fully selfish. How personal desire/the serving of oneself and kindess/the serving of#others should be balanced#About how desire is not inherently terrible and about how being constantly self serving stunts one's growth#And it's also about a human who got sold to a demon and is gonna be the demon king one day#Thinking about this manga makes me want to chew through concrete I love it so much#*how constantly serving others stunts one's growth
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Catch me gripping the universe with my bare hands. What do u mean u listen to intent and follow the spirit of the request to the best of your ability and don't monkey's paw the wording. What are you, kind??
#THIS IS JOKING#THIS IS LIGHT HEARTED#listen. i am used to divinity and adjacent entities taking things word for word#im used to loopholes in wording and poking holes in contracts#im used to fine print and conditions and all that gab#so sif going “oh i just wanna be there when bon reunites with their sis” or whatever#GETTING HIM STUCK IN A TIME LOOP BECAUSE THE DESIRE WAS TO STAY WITH EVERYONE ELSE#isat spoilers#before i forget#HAS ME SJBEKFJEBRKXUBENSHSVDBJFYDHSN#LIKE. UNIVERSE TOOK THE WORDS AND READ BETWEEN THE LINES#WHO DOES THAG#SOMEONE THAT CARES???#someone that wants to do right by someone even if theyll never know?#and loop-- dont get me started on that bitch#loop just wanted someone they could relate to#someone to understand them#and the universe really said “what if it was you but before you became you”#fucked up#i cant get the universe's angle#its clumsy and vauge#it tries to be precise i think#but things smear and blur together#theres nuance it must navigate#i dont know how it does#oh fuck this is long#uh#wish.txt#in stars and time#its 1 am i should sleep
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being the ugly friend is really humbling
#sigh#vent#rant#i need to rant#one time i was out with friends#they all hugged that one guy in my grade#so I did too#and we danced together and stuff#but then later he went: were you there the whole time??#i was mortified#he humiliated me in front of my friends#just because you don’t think I’m attractive doesn’t mean you have to ignore my existence lol#i hate it here#liesmultixxx talks 🩵#sad post#thinking thoughts#i am ugly#story of my life#why are they like this#why are people so cruel#i just want to be loved#i want to be pretty#I don’t think anyone will ever desire me#and that’s okay#but you don’t have to be so NASTY#jesus christ#little story time#saw a tt and it reminded me of this wonderful experience#another traumatic thing that happened in my life#the list is getting longer and longer
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i just think it'd be hilarious if one day, in the universe where jatp got back, madison and charlie went like "yeahhhh they are not for romance guys" about Julie n Luke. as if they were meant to be only friends all along.
Canonize luke and julie as aspec.i don't give a shit.
Luke aromantic and julie asexual. Together they are. platonic beyond life.
canonically holding each other's faces and gazing into each other's eyes like homies.
call that allobaiting.
#julie and the phantoms#luke patterson#julie molina#Brief reminder being ace doesnt mean lack of desire for a relationship. i just headcanon her as ace in general.#like all those times luke was inevitably flirty with his homies? no subtext he does not want to kiss them.#beating the bisexual allegations by being equally not attracked to boys n girls.#julie just be like yep we hold hands and sing together. like besties do.#bring that qpp back to life
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By the Ache of Our Sprawling Habitations
“Beautiful, sobbing, high-geared fucking and then to lie silently like deer tracks in the freshly-fallen snow beside the one you love. That’s all.”
-Richard Brautigan, Deer Tracks-
That slow rock of a mounting phantasmagoric ride, death by differentials binds the lightning—oh and God, your eyes that style us into sleep...
#writing#quote#poetry#love#desire#intimacy#meaning#all eternal things#love in a time of...#a murmur of fire#passion play#stripped and bare#feel you on the inside#underneath it all#what a girl wants#together alone#beauty's where you find it#always only you#it's the simple things#so tonight that you might see#in your eyes#this is how it goes#elisa english#elisaenglish
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Honestly, even without Art’s attempts at manipulation and sabotage, I don’t think Patrick and Tashi’s relationship would’ve survived anyway. Before they started dating, Patrick was criticizing her career plans and Tashi was never interested in entertaining his massive ego at her expense. Passion and chemistry are important to relationships, but if that’s the only foundation, it’s gonna crumble quickly.
The only difference between Patrick/Tashi vs Art/Tashi is that the relationship would’ve ending with a bang instead of a whimper.
#challengers#challengers spoilers#patrick and tashi need art between them#his willingness to submit even when done so with manipulative intentions does let tashi and patrick to indulge in their desire for control#the movie makes a point of saying that patrick is constantly shooting himself in the foot because he’s unwilling to humble himself#art let patrick get away with a LOT but tashi does and would not#but even tho patrick does get to the point where he can humble himself it’s still necessary for patrick to go off script and stir shit up#the way the film ends makes it abundantly clear that all three of them need each other to function#and that each person brings something different to the trio that each person needs#so i don’t buy that patrick and tashi could’ve worked things out on their own#tashi so clearly likes art’s dependence and loyalty to her#while also getting a lot from patrick’s passion and pushback#would also like to say that i personally love when art’s a mean little bitch#not only cause it’s fun but because it really seems born out of a fear of being left alone/behind#spreading my ‘art’s a greedy pillow princess that actually needs TWO tops to handle him’ agenda#and wrt the injury…sorry no one’s actually at fault for that#not only could no one could ever engineer something like that#it could’ve happened at any time because that’s life#in the film it’s meant to underscore the danger of disharmony between all three of them#and snap the tenuous thread holding all three of them together#and placing blame kind of misses the overall point the film is going for wrt the relationship between all three#hey is it just me or has this film broken my brain
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If season 2 were about El and Mike fighting to get back to each other they wouldn't have had El almost not come back.
If it were about Mike and El fighting to come back to each other, it wouldn't have been a decision whether or not should we would.
But she almost stayed in Chicago. And they made a point of her saying she went back for all of her friends, not just him, and for Hopper. She went back for Mike, Lucas, Dustin, and Hopper. It was played as big and loving. But it wasn't played as romantic. That wasn't her reasoning and missing Mike wasn't enough to bring her back in the first place.
In the first few episodes of the season, she fights with Hopper about not being able to see Mike. But as the season progresses, we find it isn't about that. It's about not being able to leave. She goes to Chicago and almost doesn't come back. There is a full stand alone episode about her maybe not coming back and she ALMOST STAYS.
If it were some big romantic payoff of their reunion, they would have simply had an obstacle they had to fight to overcome - like Hopper or the monsters or something. But instead, Mike was hoping she was alive and El was considering letting him come to terms with her death and living out her days with her sister in Chicago.
El almost never saw Mike again. It was a very close decision. She changed her mind last minute. It's valid and it remains loving, but in trope simply put...it isn't romantic.
"I almost never came back to you but I changed my mind" in the context of being separated against your will? Isn't romantic.
And similar is true in their separation in seasons 3 AND 4. She does not reach out after her time with Max. Granted maybe she would have, it was a short time, I will give that. But then she didn't get back together with him until the end of the epilogue to our knowledge. She did not run back to him in grief in need of comfort. She did not get back together with him for the familiarity even in that, she got back together with him to keep a piece of Hawkins. Her priorities would not have been the same of "wait and see if he says it" - and he could have done that in a relationship too, as we saw was an arc for him in season 4. Once again, she waited until the last minute - even almost walking away and leaving for Lenora - before coming back to him at the last possible second.
In season 4, then, she did not include him in her plans when escaping NINA. She only noted Max and her friends. Really, this re-established her priorities from season 2. Her intention was to return to all of her friends, to return to Hawkins, and to help her loved ones out of danger. Not to return specifically to him. When he was out of the equation, he was skipped over. She and Mike had a bad fight. And she still loved him just like she still loved her brothers who were also not mentioned, but her focus was only verbalized as being on Max and Hawkins. The original intention of her leaving was for Owens to take her back to Hawkins. She had zero knowledge that her family and Mike (and Argyle) were coming to get her. She thought they were back at the house in Lenora and that she was going straight to Hawkins and would call them once it was all finished. We have no knowledge that she was going to make a pitstop - unlikely given the stakes and distance between Nevada and Lenora.
In season 2, El almost stayed in Chicago. In season 3, El almost stayed broken up with Mike. In season 4, El almost went back to Hawkins without them - this decision being out of her control when it was changed.
Each and every time they are separated, El only makes the decision to reunite with Mike last minute after seeming to have intended to stay apart from him. Their reunions are always so sweet. But they are never her goal.
She came back for Will.
She came back in her grief over Hopper and leaving Hawkins.
She came back for Max.
The key question ever time she reunites with Mike is: does the story stop there? Or does she do something very important next?
Mike always a sweet stop on her way to her goal. He is never "the point". He is a part of her life as many other people are. But he is not her life and he is not why she comes back.
#el hopper#anti milkvan#stranger things#el's independence#SHE. ALMOST. STAYED. IN. CHICAGO.#once again all the ga needs to do is let go of mike's desire for HER#hers has been flexible for a long time#he was waiting for her and she was contemplating staying in chicago. he was waiting for her and it was up to HER to take him back. he was#chasing after her and it was up to HER whether she forgave him or not#every single time without fail and every time the reaction i see is#he has to find or earn her back and if he doesn't it is her right to do what she wants#but he wants her so bad that if he wants her and she's indifferent then the story dictates they stay together#but if he doesn't want her#they're cut loose from the story as a couple#only one thing holds them together and it's something they've planted the distruction of for years.#as i've said in other posts#it's something that was set up to be broken down from the moment she said goodbye the first time. you didn't think so but he was becoming o#ay without her in certain ways too.#'el would be heartbroken if he left her for will' historically WRONG. all the ga needs to is to know that MIKE wouldn't be heartbroken if#they broke up. she was heartbroken from their fight but she was fine by the time the decision was just whether or not to stay apart#willel#platonic elmax#the hopper byers#the party#el and her boys#(they belong to her now she claimed them in season 1. she did the will byers thing where she was just so endearing to everyone she met that#they're hers forever now)
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cool personal perception of lavingo but if they met in modern times under completely normal conditions, ingo wouldnt have developed a romantic interest in him mans too focused on work and glued to his brother. he def leans more into grey aro but theres less time to develop these feelings in the first place
#i love these two with all my heart but in present day hes just soooo work focused that even if he makes all the time in the world for his#friends hes still got work and his brother and all the things theyll get up together on his mind first and foremost#and ingos the guy that knows EVERYONE. he loves having friends. theres a kind of demand most rships require that he cant meet#by societys standards on top of him just having no real desire to date in the first place#this is why the only iteration of ''modern'' laventon i have is some wibbly wobbly au where he comes back with ingo#but even then its more for fun than how i rly see things bc i think hisui is their last stop together#not art
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doodle dump
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp agent#lobotomy corp oc#pretty sure i have more i missed. just doodling since i cant get myself to make more than bare minimum effort rn#ocs as well so i dont need to think abt how to properly portray another. considering i literally made them up#personality wise anyways. took some creative liberties when it comes to actual gear and random generated agents anyways#maybe ill actually ramble abt them on the sideblog. Eden and Eliza mirrors to one another and picking specific aspects of humanity to cling#to. Eden deciding the subconscious and concepts of humanity brought to life is more ideal that humans themself. the more one loves of human#ity the less one begins to love of humans. Eliza becoming subservient and wanting to activly love humans and her kin even when they hold no#love for her in turn. Both needing to be rewarded or feel rewarded for their dedication. Idealizing each side. the idea of everyone is capa#ble of good and thus should be forgiven and unquestionable love and loyalty. Eden viewing people as senselessly killing oneanother in furth#er elaborate ways and rejects the idea of people all together and finds solance in the Concept than the Living#Angelina and Ryn with how one views time and survival. One hyperfocused on surviving of the current day and neglecting their own very self-#and desires while the other only looks towards the future and idealizes to the point where they dont even see the today. delusion to claw#through reality. Safety team w Brook Eliza Evgeni and Katya is a little harder to explain but the main concept with them as a Group being a#a jab at the happy workplace family that gets along. nuh uh#i guess another idea that is weaved into them is 'survival' and how one sees they can be fit to live or find a meaning to live. and the con#tradictions that arise from anothers perspective and how people 'ought to live'. a clash of either accepting or denying anothers way of#how one should survive. and the projection of a way to live. of 'i view this to be right and thus i will have you do this thing' saving an#aspect or person that they can see themself in to then essentally save themself.#will i be able to handle such ideas with finesse? likely not i dont have faith in myself to properly encapsulate such topics to a perfect#enough degree but it is interesting to explore
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i wrote a 500 word dynamic poem for neo-twiny jam :-)
i rewrote this in a few different ways with a handful of different drafts before settling on just doing a poem; this originally came from a full branching narrative i've had stewing for a while, and i might come back to it one day. but for now i enjoyed channeling that into this poem, which has also been very influenced by the fact that i've been writing hungry vampires for almost 2 months now.... it was also my first time messing with audio in twine, which ended up being way easier than i expected (i'm sure it helped that i only used one audio sample tho)
faith does contain sexual content, and while not super explicit, it is the main theme of the poem.
anyways hope you enjoy and check out the other entries here!
#if u read one day hike it's in the similar vein i guess. sad lesbians...lol#this is VERY embarrassing for me i do not write or share poetry very often so. HRNG#i tried to do more of a narrative style first with choices & an abrupt short voice#but i really didnt like it. felt even more embarrassing than this...#i dont think the way i write lends itself to that style & it felt very amateurish/childish#so i set it aside for a while and kept working on my other project in the meantime#so i think when i came back to it i was feeling partially inspired by what i had written for that which made me rewrite it again#sex and food and desire and hunger... you know how it is#not 100% about it all together but i like it more than the first 4 versions lmfao#i did try to do timed lines as well and it just.. didnt hit for me. i love/hate timed lines you have to really get them just right#or else they're just annoying iykwim#also i was surprised i actually hit 500 words i didnt think i was going to#also also this is a poem in that. i wrote it and am calling it a poem...mnfkjdg#anyways. ough#faith#other writing
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House of M: Avengers (Vol. 1/2007), #1.
Writer: Christos N. Gage; Penciler and Inker: Mike Perkins; Colorist: Laura Martin; Letterer: Rus Wooton
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 58163#House of M: Avengers#Moon Knight comics#Moon Knight#Marc Spector#Iron Fist#Danny Rand#Hawkeye#Clint Barton#now THERE’S a dynamic I would love to see explored (and it’s not /entirely/ motivated by my desire to get more into Iron Fist comics)#I just think (as presented here) Danny’s optimism would be an interesting contrast to Marc’s realism (that occasionally dips into cynicism)#even as they both deal with some /strongly/ supernatural aspects of the Marvel universe#like sure they were on that Midnight Sons team in Vegas and the Contagion team but they didn’t interact much you know?#so all that and the description of Moon Knight’s past here fascinates me#(naturally….what can I say the only thing comparable to the amount of time I’ve spent studying Moon Knight#is the amount of time I’ve spent studying the CIA’s crimes against humanity)#but more importantly heck YEAH I’m all for putting some respect on my guys’ names and how both individually and together#Marc and Danny are considerable forces to be reckoned with
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