#theirs just happens to be one that has been at the forefront of my mind for a decade
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many people are afraid to be real lovers. dan and phil are not
#trying to decide whether I should elaborate or not#yes theyâre friends soulmates turtles ranch everlasting pieces of furniture#but they are also lovers#they love each other#and that is real and it is beautiful how theyâve come to accept that they can unashamedly and openly love each other#itâs like when people say we donât think of their content as couples content#bc they call themselves a couple of besties for the beautiful thing called the bit#but. they are a couple fr#if you asked me years ago I would think itâs so cringe to spend all your time with one person and be attached at the hip with them#but love can be so beautiful. i desire love and companionship#thereâs nothing wrong with that and dnp have shown me how safe and comfortable and loving a relationship can be#not to be parasocial but sometimes I spiral thinking about the fact that Iâm a normal person and will never be one half of a duo#living out their fun rich silly happy dream lives together after 15 years together#but like Iâm a normal person. that will never happen#and thatâs okay because love exists in other forms#this world is full of beautiful love stories#theirs just happens to be one that has been at the forefront of my mind for a decade#sorry for being weird!#yapping in the tags#dnp#dan and phil#phan#my thots
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But yes I have thoughts about Albedo having a sort of mommy complex... Different from the others, though, not quite an Oedipal thing, but more of a hyper-attachment to a very maternal, affectionate darling. See, he never had a motherly figure. Like yes he had Rhinedottir but... She's described as cold and calloused... it even says in his story "He had always believed wholeheartedly that his teacher would make good on her threat to leave him, should he fail." So basically he was brought up to be afraid of failure most likely, and threatened with abandonment. He's never had a figure that was very motherly in the traditional sense. Like, super sweet, doting, coddling and nurturing, forgiving. So when a darling like that comes along... Soft and sweet girl... Ray of sunshine... He gets attached like glue. He knew Rhinedottir would leave him if he didn't meet expectations... So he's a perfectionist. Has always been very afraid of failure. He can't mess anything up. So it's very very rare that he does. Unfortunately, one of those extremely rare cases happens to be... All over darling. He was distracted by darlings choice of particularly tight clothing that day, accidentally put two wrong things together and whoops... Something of a chemical explosion. Gets all over your clothes, staining them. He's unusually apologetic, it's rare to hear his voice actually non-monotone, actually has a slight panic to it. You're an employee, after all, you can leave at any time, and you certainly will now... But... You... Smile...? Laugh a bit. It's ok. Don't worry about it. Which feels... So foreign. You're not mad? Not disappointed? You're not threatening to quit or leave him behind? Even though he messed up? It's a very new experience. It makes him feel strange. You tell him to be more careful, but before he can apologize, you add, you could have gotten hurt! And that line throws him off. Be more careful... for his own sake? Not yours? He's still silent when you walk off to change, but stands there in a confused daze, staring off into space, unable to understand. And then, you... Care about him? He falls asleep at his desk, slumped over. When he wakes up, there's a blanket over his shoulders, all the papers he was working on have been pushed to the side and stacked in a neat pile so he didn't smudge the ink or drool on them or anything. So strange, he doesn't remember doing that... Unless you did it? It's just the two of you in here, so that means you had to do it. But... Why? Then, a few weeks later, he gets sick. Not that it means anything, his master always taught him that sickness and injury isn't an excuse to stop working, so he's still working on his things as he's sniffling and coughing. And you fret over it. Get in that... Oddly... Maternal sort of fussing, tell him no, no, go lay down, you poor thing. You more or less force him to rest, not only that, but you bring him food for the rest of the day. Tell him not to worry, you'll take care of everything, you'll clean up the work station and get everything resolved for the day. He thinks through it logically and decides you must be worried he'll get other people sick, right? That's why. Nothing else would explain this strange course of actions you've taken. His brain can't understand why you would do all that... just because you want to. Yet, it persists when he's injured. He's used to that too. Glass breaks pretty easily, cuts his hands and fingers, but he just bandages it up and goes back to work as he was taught he's supposed to. You won't have that though. He didn't even take care of it right! It'll get infected, you say, as you force him to sit down, undo the poorly done bandages, get everything you need. Rubbing alcohol, for the infection potential. It'll hurt, you say, here, squeeze my hand. And he does - it does sting like a bitch after all. But the pain isn't really in the forefront of his mind. He's too lost in the strangeness of it all. Isn't this technically wasting time? He could easily work through the pain. He's just silent as your soft hands wrap up his fingers, you're back to that odd fussing where you say things like poor thing and it's ok and to top it off, you pull his hand up to your mouth and kiss his fingers, to make them better faster!, you say. Very strange -- scientifically speaking, the kissing should not have any actual effect, yet somehow it actually does make him feel better... must be some chemical effect heâs unaware of...? But the strangest occurrence of all occurs when he does do well. He's used to people thinking he's smart by now, people always admire him. That alone was a startling change when he first arrived in Mondstadt, he was so used to doing things right being... expected. The bare minimum. Rhinedottir would look at what he made and often just nod in acknowledgement, it was expected, but other people think it's nice... but, he tells himself, what he does isn't really impressive. People just think it is because they've never seen alchemy at work before, that's all. It's not actually good. He always tells himself to get ahold of himself whenever he feels happy with success -- he shouldn't feel happy or proud, no, it's not good enough, he has to push himself more, do better... but you can't help but notice the smile that initially crosses his face at the success, the way his eyes light up before they go dull again as he chastises himself for allowing himself to feel too proud... you're more perceptive than he thinks, you've picked up on how he pushes himself too hard for perfection. So you try to make him feel better... you say you're proud of him. You say it's good. Not just adequate, not the bare minimum... you look actually impressed... it makes him feel proud, and for once he can't get that prideful feeling to go away. It feels like a high, a buzz, it lasts the rest of the day, he keeps remembering that you said you were proud! You said it was good! It repeats over and over in his head like a record. It actually takes a time when Alice comes back to understand it. He's happy to see her again, but as he watches her go about her interactions with her daughter, it strikes him as familiar. Poor Klee never gets hurt by her bombs, but she trips and scrapes her knee, goes crying to her mother... who does something that mirrors what you did. Tells her it's ok, tells her to squeeze her hand if it hurts, she'll take care of it... she has that same baby-talk-ish fussing tone to her voice, calls her poor thing just like you did him... when Klee falls asleep on the floor, Alice just smiles and wraps her up and puts her things away, carries her to bed... and when she accidentally blows something up (again), Alice just runs fingers through her hair and tells her it's ok, she didn't mean to do it right? Just be more careful from now on, she could have gotten hurt -- the exact same thing you told him --Â but... she's still proud, her bombs are made so well! He makes the connection. So this is what maternal affection and care feels like? He starts to think it would have been nice to have that, even if he was technically never a "child" in the physical sense, it would have been a nice thing to have in the early stages of his life... Or at any time. Or now. It feels nice... foreign, strange, unfamiliar, but so so nice and warm and comforting. He feels like it's ok if he messes up, if it's you. You forgive him. You always do. And if he gets hurt or sick, you'll help... It feels so nice. It's the only real comfort he's ever known. He feels safe and secure and like he doesn't have to be perfect all the time. But he doesn't like the way that extends to others. You're nice to everyone, he soon finds out. You help everyone when they get hurt. You forgive everyone when they mess up. It makes him feel some cold, twisting feeling in his gut and chest, he finds himself slamming things, clenching his teeth when he hears you talking in that same sweet voice to other people. It's really not fair, when you think about it. He never had that, but most people do, right? Most people have a mother or a mother figure in their lives they can go to, he never had that, that's what you're supposed to be. Everyone else's mother or maternal figure is theirs, not everyone's. Why does his have to be there for everyone? Why not just him? Doesn't he deserve what everyone else gets to have? It's that line of thinking that leads him to isolate you. When he initially sets off to go set up camp in the mountains, he decides you should be the one that comes to work up there, rather than the other assistants. They can stay in Mondstadt... you're too nice to them anyway. As long as you're up here, you won't be able to be nice to anyone else, and all that sweet, maternal affection can be just for him... like it should be.
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Her Second Return
Just like all of you, and especially my fellow Penny fans, I am absolutely devastated by the Volume 8 finale. I had been in quite a state these last few days, utterly heartbroken, and actually nauseous at times. It feels strange to me to be legitimately grieving a fictional character, but itâs not a bad thing to feel this way. To me, this just shows that CRWBY loves her just as much as us to have written her so well that we connect so completely with her, that it feels like we lost an actual piece of ourselves when sheâs gone.
But as you can probably tell by the title, this mega post isnât gonna be about accepting this end, not in the slightest! Today I want to share canon evidence that can point towards another return of our beloved quirky red headed cinnamon bun! Iâm here to spread this hope that I and others in the Nuts & Dolts dolts Discord server have!
I have this separated into many different sections to keep these thoughts organized. With that said, here goesâŠ
A Fatherâs Words:
In Episode 7 of Volume 7, âWorst Case Scenarioâ we learn the origins of Pennyâs aura, and thus her soul. We also learn that it takes more aura each time sheâs brought back. This leaves open an option that could be used at a later point.
Many people theorized that Pietro could indeed revive Penny one more time, which he would absolutely do. But there also lies the possibility that someone else could donate some of theirs, Iâm not sure about this as I feel like itâs akin to blood donation where compatibility matters or there's a high risk of altering her, but the possibility is definitely there.
Now, the conversation in Chapter 5 of Volume 8, âAmityâ that Pietro and Penny have is an important moment for both Father and Daughter. It was there to show how her death in PvP all that time ago really did have a heavy impact on him and is still affecting him to this day.
Instead of continuing to pretend that everything is A-okay, like he had done for most of Volume 7, he finally lets his true feelings about how it come out to Penny for what is quite likely the first time. Even going so far as to say "Are you asking me to go through that again?" when she offers to take the risk of trying to lift Amity with her power. He wants Penny to be able to live her life.
This entire scene with Pietro established âthis is what will likely happenâ even if circumstances are much different now, it doesnât negate the fact that this is a key part of Pennyâs story. Scenes like these have a purpose beyond simply making an eventual death all the more heart wrenching. Her never actually getting to live her life makes those scenes basically moot. It makes them effectively pointless from narrative point of view. Unless there's more to it.
Building Relationship:
The build up between Ruby and Penny the last two volumes has been absolutely phenomenal with a definite destination in mind, and this doesnât feel like that destination. So much of the arc of this season was to help Penny. This girl that our main protagonist absolutely adores and treasures, it would just be awful to throw all of that out for what amounts to an avoidable end. Why use so much of their precious and very limited runtime on deliberately building up this relationship only to end it abruptly, and permanently, when theyâre separated?
In my opinion, RT is definitely smarter now than to intentionally set up what was really looking like a budding gay relationship only to kill one of them for good. If N&D wasn't actually going in a romantic direction, why would they leave in all of the romance-adjacent stuff that they got, that's not how âjust friendsâ act. And that is not something you use such valuable time building up for absolutely no pay off whatsoever...
Representation of Hope:
At its core, RWBY has always been about hope. Itâs not at the forefront the whole time, but there's been an underlying theme of hopefulness that has persisted since it began. Some describe the show as a Hopepunk, I personally find this to describe RWBY really well. This genre of storytelling is about caring for things deeply and the courage and strength it takes to do so. Itâs about never submitting or accepting the way things are. Fighting for what you believe in and standing up for others. RWBY fits all of this extremely well. How does this relate to Penny? She has been shown to be a sign of hope for everyone, but especially for Ruby, the main main protagonist. A prerequisite for a Hopepunk story is the hope.
Her first death in V3 was something that fundamentally changed Ruby. For the first time in the series, we see our main character all but broken by this event. With the loss of Penny, immediately afterwards, Rubyâs hope followed. She made up for it through determination and force of will. We see it affect her multiple times throughout the journey to Volume 7. But upon her return in V7, Hope reached a high point for everyone, the sheer relief on Rubyâs face is plain to see!
In V8 chapter 5 âAmityâ, Penny literally raises hope by lifting the arena into the sky so Ruby could spread her message. And when she falls, and Amity with her, the connection is lost and hope plummets again. From there things take a very negative turn with the hack begins to take Pennyâs agency.
In chapter 11 âRiskâ is the point in the arc where everyone is reunited for the moment, so two separate hero stories are no longer a thing at that point in time. For the time being focus seemed to be shifted to care about the characters and how theyâre going to solve the current problems. This is also where Ruby reaches her lowest emotional point in the season.
Itâs not huge, but itâs interesting how connected this is. Before Ruby and Yang share a good cry over learning the possible fate of Summer, Yang brings up restoring optimism and hope to Ruby after the younger sister storms out of the room in frustration. This is where Pennyâs scenes take up the rest of the episode. Getting Penny back in control of her own body and safe again is what makes the ending of the episode much brighter, when just 5 minutes before Ruby had been distraught and scared. This then spills over into the group coming up with the plan to use the staff, putting the main group in a much better mood. Of all the things to go right, itâs interesting that itâs Penny.
Things go wrong with the plan in the end and Penny dies. I find it interesting that once again, Penny got them hopeful in their chances of doing something right. Given said plan succeeded but at the cost of Penny of all people, Penny is shown to be the beginning and end of hope for them
The highest and lowest points for hope seem to directly correlate to when Pennyâs around. When she comes back again, hope will return too, just like it had before. And because sheâll likely be back for good this time, the second return will probably be close to when Ruby is nearing the complete abandonment of hope. This would be pretty par for the course of the show honestly.
A little aside, but in a sense, Penny also represents Unity. The CCT in Vale fell after her first death, knocking out global communications and the unifying connection it gave. When it was restored for the briefest moment, she was there. Her body connected so she could allow for its launch, her soul lighting the night to hold up Amity with every ounce of her strength. So of course when the Hack succeeds and she falls, she takes global comms down again with her. At a smaller scale - even at the Hack's second last attempt to control her, she draws everyone in the Schnee Manor together. At the start of the volume, Yang states the one thing that they all agree on is not surrendering Penny.
Unity seems appropriate for one whose first song and wish was for but one friend, who would go on to find so many more in the process, and permit for a moment the possibility of all Remnant becoming friends once more. Where she first died, the name of the episode devoted to her story - Amity, "friendship", from the Latin root amicus, "friend" - she almost lives and dies with the very possibility of a united Remnant. It's no wonder she's a priority target for Salem, the great divider, and it seems natural that her next restoration may very well allow the next bid to bring the world together.
The Void Screams:
Moments after Penny's death, we hear a weird scream in the void space. It was a guttural, pained, angry scream, almost like the void space itself was crying out. All the portals shuddered and flickered when it happened.
Some think that this scream was Salem returning, but that happens earlier than Pennyâs death, her return is signaled with cinder's arm acting up. We know this because after the arm finished flailing uncontrollably, Cinder said triumphantly "she's back." If it were Salem screaming, it would have happened after she fixed herself, but it didn't.
And I doubt Cinder would have been surprised or unsettled by it considering she was happy Salem returned not long before it. And why would a Salem scream affect the portals anyway, she has no connection to the staff or it's magic.
Another thing to consider is the fact sound is not transmitted through the portals. Otherwise, they would've heard Oscar and the rest calling for them, or the screams of the citizens of Mantle and Atlas. This lowers the possibility of that scream being from Salem even further.
The sound really seems to be coming from something else entirely within the void, and that something is not at all happy. Thereâs also the fact that Penny was the only person who died in the void space, everyone else was just thrown out of it like Ruby and Co. The only logical cause to me is Penny. Her body was a product (or byproduct) of the same creation magic that made the void space, her blood seems to have been a trigger.
Now I can't be sure about it, but this makes me feel like Penny is almost a part of creation itself? For whatever this thing is to be so angry, that is the only explanation I can think of currently. But all of this could possibly relate to the Narnia allusion of 'the willing victim killed in a traitor's stead' that others have brought up, which will be covered next.
Narnia Parallels:
Atlas has several parallels and references to fictional places (putting aside real world ones like the United States). One of those is that of Narnia, both on the surface and on a deeper level. It is a land of winter year round, where people struggle to survive and there is a present divide between those loyal to the current Monarch and those who are not. James is a parallel to Jadis, the White Witch, a ruler whose thoughts and cares arenât exactly centered around the actual well being of the people. The hologram table in Ironwoodâs office is designed to look like stone, like the Stone Table which features prominently in the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. He has a handpicked cadre of special agents/secret police, like how Maugrim and his wolves served Jadis. Another key parallel is how Jadisâs winter sets in to oppress and kill everyone in Narnia, but the Witch provides aid and protection to her loyal followers. She has all the power to spare harm to others, and uses it only for the loyal. As soon as Mantle splits from James and Atlas, no care is taken to protect them from the cold of Solitas even though he has every ability to turn the heating grid back on. His protection is only for the loyal.
Now that the parallel is established, let's look into the details. Starting with how James plays the role of Jadis.
"I had forgotten that you are only a common boy. How should you understand reasons of State? You must learn, child, that what would be wrong for you or for any of the common people is not wrong in a great Queen such as I. The weight of the world is on our shoulders. We must be freed from all rules. Ours is a high and lonely destiny." These are the words Jadis says in the Magicianâs Nephew to justify the blood civil war she and her sister had waged for rulership of Charn, before she came to Narnia. She won that war, technically, but only after the last battle had been lost and her sister had marched right up to her so that they were face to face. Jadisâs troops were dead, her followers had surrendered, and the capital was under full control of her sister. But, she still had one card, one ultimate play to win and prove the throne of Charn was rightfully her. The Deplorable Word, a piece of old magic that killed everyone and everything except for her on Charn. It was monstrous, senseless, cruel beyond measure. But it got her that hollow victory. This mindset, the disregard for the people except as tools for her own will, the ultimate âaoeâ destructive move that no one had even considered her using, the unwillingness to stop even when by all practical measures the war is over, is a shocking parallel to James. In many ways, he is Jadis in mindset and deed.
Then there is the shared desire for A Thing that both James and Jadis have. For James itâs the Winter Maiden and control over her. For Jadis itâs the Silver Apples from the Tree of Youth. And funnily enough, the Maiden Powers parallel the Apples quiet well. These apples grant power and a life of eternal beauty, but should not be taken or eaten on oneâs own initiative. They must be given, a gift granted by another, or only suffering will come from obtaining them. "For the fruit always works â it must work â but it does not work happily for any who pluck it at their own will. If any Narnian, unbidden, had stolen an apple and planted it here to protect Narnia, it would have protected Narnia. But it would have done so by making Narnia into another strong and cruel empire like Charn, not the kindly land I mean it to be.â Jadisâs immortality, and some of her power, come from the fact that she ate an Apple of her own will after stealing her way into the garden where the Tree of Youth had been planted. She gained the eternal life she had wanted and the power along with it, but she did so by taking it and was cursed because of it. Her skin turned pale and her lips blackened as if she were a frozen corpse given life. She will be trapped in a life of misery and hate according to Aslan- oh hey Cinder, howâs having stolen the Power you always wanted working out for you? Cinder had the power she wanted, but she only got hungrier, eager to claim more and increase her might. But in her pursuit she was defeated and humiliated by Raven, had to steal her way out of Mistral, and then suffered defeat after defeat while in Atlas. Only in the end, when she didnât keep pursuing the Maiden Power, did she get any kind of victory.
The reason these parallels to Narnia are so important is one of the most famous events of the series. The cracking of the Stone Table and the rebirth of Aslan after his death. âWhen a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor's stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backward.â Well, the âStone Tableâ in Jamesâs office has cracked, and Penny strikes me as a pretty willing victim. She has never actually committed any actual treachery or harm, as she was the Protector of Mantle, and fought for its and Atlasâs people until the very end. And because of her death, the actual traitor, Winter, who loyally served James until he had gone too far, was saved. Through Pennyâs self sacrifice, Winter was saved. So now Death itself will start working backward.
(Major props to my friend @catontheweb for writing this section, I was getting nowhere with it, if they weren't there this part wouldn't exist!)
Norse Mythology:
The tree we see in the post credit scene gives off some serious Yggdrasil vibes. Also called the World Tree, it is essentially all of creation in Norse Mythology. It connects all nine realms, including the God realms of Asgard, the human realm of Midgard, and the underworld of Hel.
Humans are born from the branches of Yggdrasil. The web of Wyrd is woven for every person once they're born, and their path is set from there regardless of how many times the souls cycle over. But at the end, they're destined to end up in one of the worlds, for a myriad of reasons.
I believe Penny landed closest to this giant tree. She was on the center platform in the void space, so if that space is directly above the island(?) the tree is on, it makes sense for her to fall by the center nearest to the tree. This would not only open up all kinds of possibilities for the volume in general, but it would also create options for Penny.
The whole of Yggdrasilâs representations fit well into Pennyâs story. Birth, growth, death and rebirth. We can count Pennyâs appearance in V7 as birth for now, her growth is all her development in leaving =the military and becoming a Maiden, her death just happened, and her rebirth would be her revival. And this is a cycle sheâs gone through before.
The Norse god Odin and Yggdrasil have quite a connection. In one story, Odin cut out one of his own eyes to gain knowledge from a pool underneath Yggdrasil. The only one that fell whose eyes alone are incredibly significant to the story was Ruby. So, they could choose to have her allude to Odin by having Ruby make some kind of deal with whatever entity likely rules over this magical place. An eye for Pennyâs life.
Thereâs another story about Odin, Yggdrasil and the pursuit of knowledge. Odin so loved knowledge, that he sacrificed himself in a quest to learn the deeper magic of runes. It was believed one could only learn the magic spells from runes in death. So, Odin hung himself on Yggdrasil for nine days as an offering, and teetered between life and death. After he mastered the last spell on the ninth night, he ritually died and all light was extinguished from the world. Odinâs death lasted until midnight, when he was reborn and light returned to the world.
This story doesnât fit Penny perfectly, but allusions often donât. So If she really did land near the tree, she could be another loose representation of Odinâs story here. What she did wasnât for knowledge, but to save her friends and keep Cinder from getting the Winter Maiden power. She believed it necessary that she sacrifice herself to achieve this end. As we established, Penny represents Hope, so her death means the loss of hope. This parallels Odinâs story of his death meaning the loss of light itself. So if this theory holds up, it would make this death temporary, until her rebirth and the return of Hope with her once again.
Alternatively, Ruby has the potential of loosely representing Odin in this story as well. Odin later uses the knowledge of the runes to do many things, but the most relevant one right now is awakening the dead. Both of these stories are about making a personal sacrifice to gain something that is desired. Ruby would absolutely make such sacrifices if it meant saving Penny.
It is said that Odin lived âaccording to his highest will unconditionally, accepting whatever hardships arise from that pursuit, and allowing nothing, not even death, to stand between him and the attainment of his goals." This sounds like Penny's arc of accepting the WM powers. This is more just a general connection between Penny and Odin, but I found it interesting.
Side Note: I encourage anyone whoâs interested to look into RWBY connections to Norse Myth, thereâs a surprising amount of things that feel eerily similar to the show. Likely just coincidental, but itâs fun to think about!
(If I got any of this wrong, I sincerely apologize by the way. I researched as best I could, but I admit it could have been lacking.)
Ambrosius and the Staff:
Ruby told Ambrosius "we kinda wanna keep her around longer than that" as part of her very specific instructions. Then Penny died about ten to fifteen minutes, at the absolute most thirty minutes later in-universe. I donât know about you, but to me that seems very short to be considered âlonger than thatâ. Technically it is, but when writing a story and a character says something like that, you typically donât just kill the character they were referring to basically right away. It makes sense for a week-by-week watch, but in a volume binge, which many viewers do, it becomes ironic how fast Penny dies after being removed from her robotic body.
The first time we see the staff of creation being used, it's to save Penny. Using the staff of creation to help Penny is a sign of how incredibly important she is.
Theyâve even got this entire transformation sequence for her, so it wouldnât make sense for them to throw all that away two episodes later. In a meta context, itâs a massive waste of time and budget considering the asset creation for Penny.
Penny is a character who has already hopped bodies two times. And now we're supposed to just believe that this time it really is a final death? Just two episodes after we were explicitly told her body isn't what matters, that "Her soul is who she is" and that "the mechanical parts are just extra"? From a writing perspective, it feels strange, like your breaking a promise right after making it. And frankly, CRWBY is better than that, which makes me think this is not the actual end for her.
A possible connection between Penny, Ruby, and the Staff (thus Creation) can be seen in the intro. As Ruby is falling and being dragged down into the darkness, she is shown reaching for the staff. In the void space, Penny is the one with the relic. So with Penny having this strong connection to Creation, and the lyrics âfight for every lifeâ playing as Ruby reaches for the staff, itâs a safe assumption to make, with the knowledge we now have, that the Staff of Creation represents Penny in this particular moment. Which could mean that V9 will be about, at least partially, fighting for Pennyâs life.
Musical Hints:
In terms of music, Friend, as a song for Penny, is very dissonant from the episode itself. The song is oddly cheerful for Pennyâs recent untimely death, and it overall highlights the wrong parts of death. Itâs simply too happy to be a song about losing one of the most, if not the most joyous characters in the entire show. The song also abruptly ends. Thereâs no outro, and while this could symbolize the fact that Penny died young, it could be that the song itself is unfinished in a story sense.
What do we hear just before the song finishes, though? A progression of notes that sounds eerily similar to the last line of the opening of Volume 8. The notes for âFight for evâry lifeâ and âWho finâlly felt alive'' share a similar melodic structure, they arenât perfect clones of each other, but they are incredibly similar, to the point where it seems intentional. Penny may very well be the life that the opening song is fighting for. It is also worth noting that the line âFight for every lifeâ comes just after âSometimes itâs worth it all to risk the fall,â which is the exact wording used for the description in the Volume 8 finale. Team RWBY risked the fall, yet, strangely the opposite of fighting for every life happened with Pennyâs sacrifice. Perhaps the time to fight for every life has yet to happen, and we will see it come Volume 9.
For another thing, the lyrics for Friend are entirely centered on Pennyâs feelings for Ruby, to the point where they read very much like a bittersweet love song. The music itself is incredibly cheerful, as mentioned previously, creating a mood whiplash with the end of the volume. Why would we hear a song about Pennyâs feelings for Ruby, sounding like a love song, if her death is supposed to be a tragic sacrifice akin to Pyrrhaâs? The song may very well be giving a clue into its future use in the show proper.
If this was meant to be a good bye song, why make it so cheerful and romantic sounding? There's only one part about her dying and even then, it's just too accepting and goes right back into cheerfulness. The song is also pretty hopeful, telling Penny's story in a fairly chronological order. And the part where she talks about sacrifice is quite pointedly followed up by one about feeling alive. It also ends with the super cheerful chorus, the word "alive" being the last... (Remember the episode title: The Final Word)
(I want to thank my friend @shadow-0f-x for writing the majority of this section! I was struggling to choose how to tackle it as I am not well versed in music theory.)
What We Didnât See:
It is likely that Penny understood Jaune's semblance better than him and figured something out about itâs abilities in the same way that she understood Ruby's semblance better than her. She had plenty of time to observe his semblance up close as he boosted her aura to stave off the virus. Because of that intentionally timed cutaway in the finale, we donât get to hear her explain herself after her strained âTrust me.â All of that seems really suspicious to me.
Pyrrha Parallel:
Pyrrha and Penny both sacrificed themselves to stop or stall Cinder. Jaune tried to convince the both of them to stop. With Pyrrha, he failed, while with Penny he actively helped her sacrifice herself. Doesnât make sense for the guy who was determined not to let anyone else do what Pyrrha did, unless of course Penny assured him sheâd be alright.
The Moment:
RT including the suicide hotline in the description shows that they're aware that Penny basically committed assisted suicide, seeing it as a noble sacrifice worth doing to save her friends. They're aware, and I believe they're smart enough to condemn that decision to hell and back.
The best way to do that in my opinion is to pull her back into the land of the living and let her witness first hand the consequences of throwing her life away so freely. This would show Penny how her actions affected others so maybe she could learn to truly value herself. To not think herself expendable. It would be bold and unwise to portray this choice as something good, unless it was going to be called upon later and be pointed out for how horrible it really is.
On top of this, Penny was way too content with her death, happy even. There's no way team RWBY is letting her stay content with it. Itâs almost as though we're supposed to join Ruby and Co. in calling bullshit on what Penny is saying and doing because no, Penny, this is not how things are meant to work. It's as if Penny was basically saying "I want to die for my friends" because most of the volume had been about everyone else making sure she didn't die. She knows it will hurt them. She knows.
At the peak of it all, a choice like this will totally destroy Ruby. It may very well be her breaking point for Volume 9. Curiously, the moment itself is written like itâs the first choice Pennyâs ever made, yet the entire Volume shows this isnât the case. However, this is the first choice that Pennyâs made solely independently and itâs rather pertinent that the choice she makes is a mistake. Outside of giving Winter the Maiden gift and saving the day temporarily, this sacrifice will not have any lasting positive effects. Jaune will be saddled with the grief of killing Penny. Ruby will have to live with losing her best friend and not being able to protect her a second time, and Winter now has the burden of the Winter Maiden abilities, making her a target of Cinder. This is a bad thing, and Penny needs to see the long term consequences.
Transfer of Power:
As we all know, colors in RWBY are really important and get a lot of focus in the show. That means the yellow we see as Penny gives Winter the Maiden Powers was intentional and likely important, no matter how insignificant it may seem. Itâs possible that the transfer effect being yellow could have something to do with Jauneâs semblance. When Fria gave the power to Penny, the effect was very much blue, so this transfer should have been green since she was the one giving it this time. The weirdness of this transfer and the focus on color in RWBY really makes it look like somethingâs up with how that went down.
A little off topic, but Penny saying "I won't be gone, I'll be part of you." makes me think... Winter is smart, so when she gets time to think about what Penny said, maybe she'll arrive at the same question many in the audience came to; if she's literally part of Winter, can they be separated again? If Winter starts questioning that, the possibility of Penny coming back just skyrockets.
Fria actually tells Penny "I'll be gone" before giving her powers up, which is an interesting contrast to Penny telling Winter "I won't be gone". She may have gotten that line from Winter be all philosophical in V7, saying Fria was now a part of Penny, but it hits differently coming from an actual Maiden. S5o itâs possible that Maidens usually actually will be gone, but Jaune's semblance did something to change that.
This could go well with the theory that they won't need to find an aura transfer machine, or build another one, because Jaune will have a semblance evolution allowing him to do the transfer instead. It might actually be that this evolution already happened and the golden light we saw was Jaune transferring penny's aura to Winter in some way?
An observation that I find interesting is when Penny gives winter the powers, not only is the aura yellow but penny completely glows yellow too, and she obviously starts to disappear, but she doesnât seem to fully disappear, she just glows.
It's possibly a fading out effect and she does fully fade but animation makes bright light easier, and so we don't actually see her disappear because she's dead and not gone. But it does once again emphasize the color yellow here!
And the color is coming from Penny, it does go up Winter's arm a bit, but Penny is clearly the source. This transfer is so weird and Iâm not really sure how to interpret it. There's just actually no reason that we are aware of to make the effect yellow here is the thing. Unless it has something to do with either Jaune or Ambrosius, or potentially a combination of both...
Jauneâs Aura:
The way we see Jaune's aura break in the finale is strange. His aura shouldn't be breaking here. It had been long enough since he was boosting Penny, he's had time to recharge, and it didn't look like it was a strain on him at all. Plus, we know he has a lot of aura, so there probably wasn't too much to recharge in the first place.
He has a massive amount of aura, it has never broken before as far as I remember. Even if it has though, that doesnât make this occurrence any less odd. It should absolutely never be a one-hit KO. We didn't see anything that would've drained it, that should not have been enough to break his aura. Unless he did something - something that would require a huge amount of aura - that we just didn't see. That amount of aura drain is far more than just an attempt at healing would do, Jaune absolutely did something with his semblance that took up almost all of his aura.
Pinocchio Allusion:
As any Penny fan knows, her character allusion is Pinocchio, the puppet who became a real boy. Penny deviates from the allusion by having always been a real girl, as Ruby is quick to point out, but she shares many story beats with her original story including multiple deaths. In the original story, Pinocchio dies from being hung by his own strings due to his poor decision making and he dies. Sounds a little familiar, does it not? This is where his tale originally ended. Readers were unsatisfied with this ending however, so the author decided to change the story by reviving Pinocchio and teaching him to be more careful.
Unlike Pinocchio making all the wrong decisions, Penny often makes the right ones, or ones she thinks is right, when concerning others. While usually a good thing, this has meant Penny almost giving herself up multiple times during V8, her last attempt being successful. This is where Penny and Pinocchio begin to share similarities again. They are both very reckless when it concerns themselves. This carelessness comes from different places, but it ends with the same result of them endangering their lives and even sometimes losing them.
In the Disney movie, Pinocchio dies by drowning after going to rescue Geppetto and washes up on the shore (like the beach in V8âs post credit scene). His father is devastated and takes him home to grieve, but as a reward for his selflessness in rescuing his father, the Blue Fairy returns and brings him back to life, as well as granting him humanity. Penny sacrificed her life as well, and it stands to reason that she should be rewarded for it, much like her allusion was.
Penny got her maiden powers from someone with blue aura and then gave her powers to someone with blue aura. So it could be that not only Ambrosius, but Fria and Winter as well represent the Blue Fairy. It could be set up for Winter helping to bring Penny back to life once more. Itâs an out there theory I admit, but itâs not outright impossible either. The Blue Fairy in Pinocchio saved him three times that I know of, so RWBY having three representations does make sense.
Geppetto wished for him to live as a real boy, but it depended on what path Pinocchio took. This is very reminiscent of Penny and Pietro. Pietro wants to see her live her life, and surely with him absent in V8C14 that didn't work, despite Penny choosing. Her father did not see her happy enough to live her life, and will only be able to learn her death through others. But Pinocchio's themes were life and being alive. So the likelihood that this is not her end yet is quite high!
A Girl That Fell Through the World:
Penny could be the girl who fell through the world. The girl in the story fled the consequences of a choice. The only person who chose her ultimate fate was Penny. The others were pushed into the void, but she chose to die. The consequence of her choice is Rubyâs grief first and foremost, which Penny wonât see. The girl who fell through the world does come back though, and the world will be changed severely with Pennyâs absence. Alternatively, it could also be Penny coming back to Wonderland or wherever they currently are, as long as itâs unrecognizable to her.
What Returning Brings:
Others might say another return would have no story relevant purpose, but I wholeheartedly disagree. Penny gives a profoundly youthful, joyous, and wondrous outlook on the world and story that we hadn't seen since Ruby in Volumes 1-3(not the end), Penny returning would bring a much needed levity back in after the despair they will undoubtedly be going through. While not necessarily a huge thing in most other shows, for RWBY, a show largely about keeping up hope, an ounce of such relief is a necessity.
As much as I hate saying it, Pennyâs death does actually make some narrative sense because she had to pass on the Maiden powers. (They could have done this in a number of ways, and I personally think they chose rather poorly, but I digress.) Throughout this whole volume, we can see Penny seemingly being set up to join the main cast, but would have been too strong with the powers. This also accomplishes ridding her of the burden of responsibility that comes with being a Maiden and lets her obtain the freedom thatâs so important to her character.
Once she returns, seeing this grief that her actions caused, particularly to Ruby, will get her to realize more that her actions can have serious repercussions. She made a choice, but that choice hurt the people she loves. She must have known that it would but Iâm not sure she ever realized just how much.
I didnât want this post to be heavy in the shipping department, so I largely left it out, but I am going to say this one thing that could have an impact. If Nuts & Dolts is on its way to being canon, which this volume makes it feel highly likely, this could be a catalyst.
It could prompt an arc for the both of them in which Penny learns to live her life fighting for her loved ones, rather than sacrificing it for them. A relationship could potentially start from there. And Ruby seeing Penny learn these things may also help her to stop doing the occasional but very dangerous and reckless things she does. Ruby witnessing Penny coming to terms with what she did to the people that care about her would actually make her stop to think âwait, is this how everyone else would feel if I got myself killed?â That would be a very important moment of character growth for her.
Iâm certain there are other significant things that Penny returning can bring to the show. And there are definitely more sections I could add to this. At this point though, assuming anyone even made it this far, I think Iâve been going long enough already. So letâs just roll into the outro!
As painful and hopeless as it seems, I'm choosing to trust them with this because there is absolutely no way they didn't see backlash coming. The way this finale went makes me think that they calculated for backlash and arenât jumping into something they donât have a plan to recover from. Whether this trust is unfounded or not remains to be seen, but I donât think it is currently. I do think, however, that the cause of this backlash was a major misstep. Now that it has happened though, they have a chance to do something good with it.
I know for a lot of you, trust in CRWBY has been damaged, some even irreparably so. And for those that feel this way, I donât blame you. My trust in them took a hit too, but isnât broken completely yet. There are many ways that they can bring her back that would make sense with the narrative, they have the ability to make it right, and after going over all of the hints and general weirdness of things many times, I think they will.
I'm feeling pretty confident now and I really didn't expect that to happen at all to be honest. But discussing and theorizing with the discord server seriously helped get my hopes back up surprisingly fast! Itâs actually thanks to all of them that this gigantic post even happened! So thanks a ton my fellow Dolts! And a special thanks to!!
@arcana-amicus
@catontheweb
@cosmokyrin
@gaydontmesswithme224
@jammatown919
@shadow-0f-x
They really helped get this thing across the finish line!
And thank YOU for reading all~ of this! I sincerely wish it gave you some of the hope and confidence that I now have!
#RWBY#rwby vol8#rwby v8#rwby spoilers#Penny Polendina#nuts and dolts#mechanical rose#a little#Essay#more like dissertation#I haven't written this much in#probably ever actually#Have HOPE people!
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Untitled Malex 3x09 Coda #1
I am not having a great morning, but itâs not anything to do with this, so Iâve been struggling to write even though the idea has been percolating in my mind since last night. I donât know if I love this, but I love that weâre seeing Malex communicate and share fears, and really openly support one another.
Anyway, enjoy! <3
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Alex pushes open the front door, and takes a moment to stare at the pile of mail on the floor. Evidence of his own mistakes. The bag containing the food Michael had dropped off from the Crashdown to remind him to eat is up against the wall, and Alex sighs. Two days into this new relationship of theirs and Michael was already taking care of him, and here he had been the one to almost ruin it completely.
"Oh," Michael breathes out, coming up behind him and focusing on the same mess on the floor.
"It's fine, Guerin."
Michael shakes his head, already reaching down and picking up the old Crashdown bag, a new Crashdown bag in his other hand. "I'll clean this up. Why don't you go, uh, relax?"
Alex shakes his head. It isn't Michael's responsibility to clean up after him. "You don't have to-"
"Alex," Michael interrupts him, placing the bag down on the table and stepping into his space. Alex feels his hand on his face, and can't help but lean into it just a little. "I want to."
He relents, nodding his head and trying to ignore the mess, heading further down the hallway and into his bedroom.Â
Two days ago everything had seemed better, like with letting Michael in on everything he knew about the Lockhart machine and the work he was doing at Deep Sky, he would be able to work safer and smarter. A good lie he'd told himself, in fact.Â
His phone buzzes in his pocket with a text message from Eduardo. It's the photo from the security cameras outside Deep Sky, of Michael standing in perfect view, jacket held open, the words EDUARDO VALENTI I COME IN PEACE written in large black sharpie on his t-shirt. He'd seen the shirt earlier, once things had calmed down, the letters poking out from underneath Michael's jacket.
Michael had been so worried he'd walked up to the front door of Deep Sky for him, and demanded to be let inside.
A fresh wave of guilt washes over him thinking about the desperation Michael must have been feeling to make such a decision. They'd planned a date, they'd made the choice to go out together, to be seen together - and instead Alex had let himself get pulled into the issues that plagued the Lockhart machine, as if it was somehow more important.
Making the photo the contact picture for Michael in his phone is an no-brainer. Because maybe one day he'll be able to laugh about it, and not feel the guilt surrounding this. And he is entirely grateful that Michael did worry about him, because if he hadn't, if Michael hadn't stopped by for their dateâŠÂ
Removing his prosthetic is a chore, his stump sore and aching for fresh air. He debates the merits of a hot bath, but knows that if he gets in, the only thing he'll want to do afterwards is go to sleep. And right now, he needs to also eat something. They'd stopped at the Crashdown quickly on their way back, Michael saying something about making sure Alex ate. He hadn't even realized the diner was closed for it's yearly fumigation until Michael pointed it out to him. As his stomach rumbles, reminding him, he changes into sweats and pulls on an old Air Force hoodie, before making his way out of the bedroom.
Michael is in the kitchen, standing at the stove flipping what looks like sandwiches on a hot pan. Alex stands just out of view, though he's surprised with his crutch Michael hasn't heard him, and just takes a moment. A moment to let himself appreciate Michael, for taking care of him, for caring about him. It's always been a fear of his, and one that his own hallucinations had reminded him of, that he'd never be enough, that he and Michael were destined to always have issues greater than the ability for them to be together.Â
"I've never seen you cook before."
Michael spins on his heels, a smile on his face, and Alex pulls himself up into the stool at the counter so he can sit down, carefully leaning his crutch against the wall. "Wait until you taste it before you judge me."
Alex laughs, thinking of Maria telling him how good a cook Michael is, the surprise in her voice as she told him about the breakfast omelettes he'd made for her. It's nice that now though, he finally gets to see for himself, though he's never doubted Maria's assessment.
"What are you cooking?"
Michael turns back to the stove, and Alex watches as he checks to make sure nothing burns. "Hamdalorian and cheese sammies. Figured since you didn't eat the ones I left for you, you could try them now."
Alex ducks his head. He still feels awful, for all of it.
"I am sorry I ruined our date," he says, not for the first time tonight.
Everything was supposed to be different. They shouldn't be here, sitting in his kitchen, cleaning up after his mess. They should have been out in public, enjoying each other's company, and not dealing with the aftermath of Alex's own demons.
"I know," Michael replies, sliding a plate in front of him, and leaning against the counter next to him. "But hopefully we'll have lots of them in the future."
"Yeah?"
He tries to sound excited, he tries to sound sure of himself. But all today had done was confirm to him that there are still things he needs to work through, even with Michael by his side. It had helped to hear that Michael had been battling with some of the same fears about their future, about the weight of everything that had happened to them being too much. At least they were battling them together now.
"You know, Sanders called me out - about us," Michael says, and Alex feels him slip his hand in his own. The bandana is gone, even though Alex knows it had been there earlier today. "I called you a friend, and he uh, he sorta saw right through me."
"When was this?"
Michael's cheeks go pink, and he ducks his head before looking back up at Alex. "After the radio tower. He's been giving me shit about it since I asked him for advice."
Alex smiles, thinking of the metaphor Michael had shared earlier. He's happy that Michael has Sanders in his life, someone who knew his mother, to tell him what she was like.
He watches Michael push back from the counter just as takes a bite of his sandwich, looking around quickly.
"I know you probably want to be alone, and maybe sleep for a couple days, so I'm gonna head out."
Does he want that? Does he want Michael to leave? Now that he's here, in the house, in his space, Alex isn't sure he wants him to leave. He's always had issues with allowing people into his personal space, a fear that stayed at the forefront because of his father. But he's spent too much time alone with his thoughts the past two days. He doesn't need more alone time with them.
"Michael?" He calls out before Michael gets too far away, turning towards the hallway, and watching as Michael's curls pop back up around the corner.
"Yeah?"
"Would you stay?"
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SFW Alphabet - Solomon
This is for my best friend/mother as she is the biggest Solomon simp Iâve ever seen lol. Also, this is gonna be angsty cause I love writing angsty Solomon
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
He pretends to not like affection, but heâs a softie and we all know it. Really, all he needs is a hug and heâll just melt on the spot.Â
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
One word: chaos. You two as best friends cause untold destruction and cause Lucifer several migraines per day. Being besties with him also means being besties with Asmo, so be prepared for that as well. Â
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
He loves cuddles. Maybe itâs just the fact that he hasnât had much physical contact in who knows how long, but he loves any form of contact. His favorite ways to cuddle is him on his back with you either laying on top of him, or on the side of him with your head on his chest.Â
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
I canât see him as the type to settle down, be heâd consider it depending on the person. And while heâs a terrible cook, heâs not half bad at cleaning and other household chores.Â
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
Heâd be super blunt about it. Honestly, heâs scared to get with anyone to begin with since, ya know, immortality and all, so itâs been a while since heâs actually had to break it off. His main goal when breaking up with someone is to get them away from him, so he wants to make sure the way he breaks up with them will make them want to stay away.Â
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
Afraid of commitment. I imagine the last time he tried to commit to someone was before he became immortal, so having to watch them die made him vow to never get that close to anyone again. Then he met you, and all of that has been thrown out the window. He might try and rush things a bit, but he just wants as much time with you as possible. So, while he is afraid to commit, heâll do it for you.Â
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
Heâs bad at human interaction, so he might not know if he accidentally hurts you, but heâll be quick to apologize once he realizes. Honestly, heâs better at being physically gentle since he can control that better than emotions. Â
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
Loves hugs. Theyâre one of his favorite things ever. He just finds such comfort in them, and theyâre great for stress relief. His hugs are a bit on the aggressive side, but theyâre still very enjoyable.Â
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
Heâd say it on accident. And then heâd try to play it off to hide how embarrassed he is. It is pretty early on, but he does mean it with all his heart. Please say it back, he hasnât heard it in a while.Â
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when theyâre jealous?)
He gets extremely jealous. Like, you spend so much time with the brothers and he canât stand that. Of course, he would never admit it, but he would try everything he can think of to get you away from them. Once, he almost resorted to food poisoning out of sheer desperation.Â
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
His kisses differ depending on his mood, but theyâre usually soft and full of passion. His favorite place to kiss you is your neck because it gets a nice reaction out of you. His favorite place to be kissed is the top of his head cause heâs secretly a big softy who wants to be babied. Â
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
Heâs not the most fond of kids, but heâll tolerate them. Theyâre are fun to tease though, especially Luke.Â
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
heâs either waking you up at the crack of dawn to work on some new potion, or heâs sleeping in until past noon and refuses to get up. Regardless, you are not leaving his side. If he gets up, heâll drag you up with him. If he wants to stay in, heâll hold you there until heâs satisfied.Â
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
Heâll usually be up late working on something or other, but heâs never up for too long. He jins you in bed when heâs done, and heâll cuddle the crap out of you an an apology for keeping you waiting. Heâs also fond of talking to you about random stuff that happened throughout the day until one or both of you fall asleep.Â
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
This man is one of the most secretive people to ever exist. He wants to open up to you, honestly he does, but he just canât. heâs so worried that all of his emotional baggage will drive you away, and he couldnât stand losing another person he cares about. So, he keeps everything hidden. With time, heâll start opening up if you push enough buttons.Â
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
Heâs really good at pretending heâs patient. On the outside heâs his same-old self, but on the inside heâs fuming. His patience tends to wear especially thin around the brothers (except Asmo). Itâs a mixture of jealousy for how much time they spend with you, and anger that they refuse to make a pact with him. But he keeps it all under wraps.Â
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
He does remember a good bit of information, but he sucks at remembering small details. For example, he may know what month your birthday is in, but he cannot remember the actual date. Or, he would remember your favorite movie genre, but not your favorite movie in said genre. He tries his best though.Â
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
He loves this one time where you tried to help him cook something. You were tired of dealing with the mess that is his cooking skills, and you wanted him to make something that wouldnât kill you. Everything started out fine until you accidentally get some flour on him. It wasnât much, but still. He just turns to you without saying anything before launching some flour right back at you. And then the casual baking session turns into an all-out food war. The kitchen is a mess and you two end up getting scolded by Simeon later, but it was totally worth it. Â
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
Oh heâs very protective. I mean, youâre a defenseless human surrounded by powerful demons who want to eat you, of course heâd be protective. He would never mean to over-bearing, but he can come off that way sometimes. He used to protect those he cared about before he became immortal, so the habit comes back with you now. He doesnât need protecting for obvious reasons, so itâs all the more reason to focus on protecting you.Â
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
Surprisingly, he prefers more lowkey dates. Maybe itâs because he rarely gets any alone time with you, but he loves just chilling out together practicing magic. if you did want to go out, he would take you somewhere in the Human World to get away from all the chaos of the Devildom.Â
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
Obviously, his cooking could kill a man, but weâre gonna move past that since itâs low hanging fruit. Besides that, he has a tendency to by pretty cunning and heâs always planning some kind of prank. He also has a tendency to get jealous of the brothers a lot, and that can make him salty when you guys can finally hang out.Â
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
He used to be pretty concerned with his looks, but heâs gotten over it. He still tries to look decent since he is in the presence of some powerful demons, but it isnât at the forefront of his mind. Although, since becoming besties with Asmo, his vanity has started picking up again. Â
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
Maybe yes, maybe no. Heâs had to deal with loss several times over, so he could probably learn to deal with it like he did before, but you could be different. It really just depends on what kind of impact you have on him during your time together.Â
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
We all know that itâs basically canon that he and Asmo have hooked up before lol. But I also lowkey think heâs hooked up with both Barb and Satan. I have no real reason as to why I think this, but I do and Iâm sticking to it. I don't even ship it that much, I just think he would do something like that.Â
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldnât like, either in general or in a partner?)
He actually doesnât like someone he knows heâd get attached to. He doesn't want to go through that pain again, so he wants to remain distant. Also, he doesnât like someone who doesnât understand or accept what heâs been through and what heâll continue going through. He wants someone who understands and who he can talk to about it.Â
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
He gets very clingy in his sleep. If heâs sleeping with someone, they can expect to be trapped in his arms until he wakes up. And if you try to escape, he just hugs you even tighter.Â
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alex blake x reader nsfw alphabet
nfsw content - if you are underage please donât read thanks lads
warnings (dom/sub undertones, dom!alex, use of word slut, mommy kink, umm other sex stuff i suppose, if you are not comfortable please dni)
also this is my first time writing smut so please go easy on me im weak
A = Aftercare (what theyâre like after sex)
definitely the type to help you clean up. after thatâs taken care of she will get you some water (stay hydrated folks!) and then will settle down to cuddle with you for the night. always wants to make sure you feel the most loved as possible after sex
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partnerâs)
you love her hands. you love the pleasure she can give you with them but also how safe you feel when sheâs touching you.
she loves your thighs. she loves to hold them and pin them to your chest while she fucks you into the mattress. and just looking at them while imagining her head between them is enough to get her wound up
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
she loves feeling you cum around her fingers. it brings her great pleasure to know that she is the one who can make you cum so hard that you can barely remember your own name
as for her cumming, she loves to cum with you between her thighs. she loves to have that control over you.Â
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
this woman definitely has a mommy kink and no one can tell me otherwise
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what theyâre doing?)
oh yes, alex definitely knows what she is doing
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
hmm as i said before she loves to have you on your back with your thighs to your chest as she fucks you but she also loves to have you on your hands and knees while she fucks you.Â
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
definitely more serious but if something funny happens in the moment sheâll make a moment out of it
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
she takes care of herself and keeps it all organised
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
it can be intense but always at the forefront of her mind is your safety and making sure that you are ok and enjoying what is happening
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
now that you are together, there is not much need for it since she has you. but before you got together it was a regular occurrence while her mind was filled of thoughts of you and her together.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
mommy kink queen
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
mostly in bed, but she does love to take you over the counter every so often. variety is the spice of life, right?
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
you. anything about you has the ability to turn her on. those jeans you wore to work that were just that bit tighter than normal? woooah, nearly killed her. your moans get her really going that extra bit more too.
N = No (something they wouldnât do, turn offs)
sheâd never want to really hurt you. like besides the occasional spank, sheâd never actually really hit you or hurt you like that. and like too much degrading is a no no for her. besides occasionally calling you names like slut she would never go to far or actually insult you.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
she loves giving, donât get me wrong. but she loves receiving possibly more. the feeling of you between her thighs, your only focus pleasing her, the moans you let out just from pleasing her? that gets her off more than anything.Â
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
depends on the mood i suppose and how long itâs been. if itâs been awhile because youâve both been away on a case then it will often end up being fast and rough but other than that she likes to take things slower with you, to appreciate every moment.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
hell yeah, alex is up for a quickie. not often but when the opportunity presents itself sheâs gotta take it of course
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
yeah, as long as you are up for it and it doesnât interfere with your jobs
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
obviously sheâs not as young as she used to be but she can still go for 2/3 rounds and can hold off for as long as she needs
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
sheâs definitely got a collection of toys for you both to use. her personal favourite is the strap that makes you see stars.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
if thereâs anything alex can do, itâs tease you. if she wanted she could go for hours. she loves hearing you beg to cum, she can get you to say pretty much anything in that moment.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
sheâs not overly loud besides moans every so often. she likes to talk to you while youâre making her cum.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
hmm, she loves treating you. sheâll surprise you with a new toy for you both to use or new clothes. things that you wouldnât get for yourself
X = X-ray (letâs see whatâs going on under those clothes)
this is so male aimed
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
HIGH. sheâs always ready to fuck youÂ
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
she wonât go to sleep until you have. sheâll always make sure you are settled and comfortably asleep before she will allow herself to fall asleep.
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If You Please
Chapter One
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count: 1644
Hi everyone this is my first fic, so please feel free to as constructive criticism.
I'm bad at writing descriptions, so this is basically a reader insert into The First Avenger and then we'll see how it goes from there.
Next>>
Masterlist
It was 1943 when my life changed dramatically. The second world war had been going on for a few years now and with Hitler quickly rising to power it felt as though every young man and woman wanted to help the war cause. This included Steve Rogers, my brother, and James 'Bucky' Barnes, my secret fiancé.
We had all grown up together in Brooklyn and later on Bucky and I started to have more romantic feelings for each other. We've been engaged for two years now but Steve still doesn't know, no one knows. We've planned to tell everyone once Bucky gets back from the war, whenever that will be. Tonight is his last night in New York before he gets shipped off with the 107th to the front.
Currently, unknown to my brother and fiancé, I am working under Agent Peggy Carter in the Strategic Scientific Reserve or SSR for short. They believe I work as a full-time secretary for one of the many recruitment offices in New York. The SSR's work dealing with Hydra is highly classified and very dangerous. Agent Carter and I are not only the only two highly regarded women here but we're both two of the youngest agents.
Now enough with the back story, let's get into how this whole mess started.
It was the day of the Stark Expo, Bucky had decided we would go there for a date and maybe a dance or two before we had to meet Steve. When I had gotten off of work at 5 pm sharp, Bucky was outside the recruitment office waiting.
"James I thought I told you not to wait for me outside of my place of work," I said to him as I walked over to him. He pulled me in close and kissed the top of my head.
"I know, but what kind of fiancé would I be if I didn't come to meet my best girl?" I try to push away from him but he just holds on tighter, chin resting on the top of my head and swaying us side to side.
"Shh be quiet or someone will hear you. We definitely don't need Steve finding out we're engaged yet."
"Fine," he said, letting go of me to then grab onto my hand, "I hope you wore your dancing shoes doll because that's all we're doing until I have to let you go." I giggled and nodded as we crossed the road on our way to Queens, where the expo was being held.
"So doll, did you have a good day at work?"
"Yeah, I just filed more recruitment papers and mailed off important documents. You know, the usual." We turned a corner and headed down to the subway. We walked in a comfortable silence until we got into the subway car. "How was your day today, anything exciting happen?"
"If you call saving your brother from being pummeled to death again exciting then no. Although, seeing you this afternoon has made my day a whole lot better."
I turned to look Bucky in the eyes, "Again? What happened this time?"
"He said he was at the theater and some punk was being disrespectful to the video of the troops overseas. Steve said he spoke up to the man, but you know how that always ends up for him." He unwrapped his hand from mine to then put the same arm around my shoulders.
"I wish he'd lay low, you're not going to be here to break up the fights anymore, and you know how he gets when I try to step in and help."
"Oh one more thing, he tried to enlist again. From New Jersey this time," He chuckled and shook his head.
"I have no clue what I'm going to do with him, James. I know he wants to go fight, but I can't risk having both my best men out there. I don't know what I'd do with myself if both of you left me here." I shifted closer into Bucky's arms. "Come on, our stop is just up ahead."
When we entered the expo all I could do was stare. The lights and technology that Stark had put on display were amazing. Soon I felt a tug at my hand.
"Sweetheart come on I want to get at least one dance in before Steve shows up. I think I see a place we can go over here." Then I was quickly taken to a brightly lit dance floor where couples were gathering to dance to a slower song. Bucky slowly did a little bow and I followed with a small curtsy of my own. I couldn't keep myself from laughing. "Ma'am may I have this dance," he asked, holding his right hand out to me.
"You certainly may," I replied while placing my left hand into his outstretched one. He then wrapped his left arm around my waist and held our entwined hands upright in the air, and my right hand went to rest upon his shoulder. He smiled his signature little smirk.
Then the band started to play and we started to twirl around the dance floor.
After a minute I rested my head on Bucky's shoulder and wrapped my arm under his. "I never want this to end Buck. I'd dance with you forever if that meant you didn't have to go so far away from me."
"Oh, Doll I dread the end of this night. What am I going to do without you by my side every day," Bucky said as he gently rubbed the small of my back. "Somebody's got to go off and protect you and if that means fighting in this war, I'll gladly do it one hundred times over." He looked down at me and then kissed my temple. "Come one I think I see Steve over by the stairs." He let go of my hand and waist more quickly than I would have liked.
"Steve! Look who I found," I called and Bucky and I made our way over to the set of stairs my brother had been wandering about at. I ran over to give him a tight hug. "I heard you had a little scuffle again today and that you tried to enlist. Again." Steve stood there awkwardly and smoothed his hair back with his hand.
"Buck, I thought we agreed that we weren't gonna tell her this time," he said through his teeth at Bucky.
"Hey man it's not my fault your sister is crazy scary when she's trying to get something out of you," he said while putting his hands up in defense.
"Fair enough. But next time you tell her something like that I'll hurt you."
"I'd like to see you try there pal," Bucky retorted while trying to grab at Steve but I interjected before they could make a scene.
"Boys please act like adults, we're at a science and technology expo NOT a playground." They both stopped to look at me. I moseyed over to stand between them both and hooked my arms into theirs. I looked to the right at Bucky then to the left at Steve. "So boys, what should we look at first?"
The night progressed smoothly from there, with us going to see Stark's new flying car invention and many more new and exciting things. We laughed and joked, Bucky and Steve bickered, which I had to intervene in before it became an actual argument. Pretty soon 9 o'clock came and all three of us headed home to Brooklyn. Bucky walked with us to our door and we said our heartfelt goodbyes. After a rather tight hug, he left, strutting down the sidewalk towards his own home, but quickly turned to give a stiff-armed salute. Steve and I turned to go inside.
"Goodnight Stevie, I'll see you tomorrow," I called out down the short hall from my room. I waited for his reply before I shut my door and turned the light off. Gathering up my nightgown I slipped under the covers of my bed. It had been a good day, but the fact that Bucky was leaving in just a few hours kept coming to the forefront of my mind. I laid awake thinking of when I was ever going to see him again. At that moment the window to my room quietly creaked open. I sat up quickly reaching for the bedside lamp. When the weak yellow light filled the room Bucky was standing in the room, tangled in the curtain.
"Bucky what the hell are you doing," I whispered yelled at him.
"Well I thought I'd at least spend my last night stateside with my fiancée, but if you'd like me to leave then I will." He stated matter of factly and turned to go back out the way he had come.
"No don't go," I crawled over to the edge of the bed and reached for his hand, "You just surprised me is all. You haven't come through my window since we were kids." He laughed and let me pull him up to the head of the bed. He fell not so gracefully onto the sheets and swaddled me up close to his chest. I could smell the soap on his skin and the freshness of his nightshirt. I could hear the beat of his heart loudly in my ear as I started to drift off.
"Will you wake me up before you go," I questioned, snuggling further into his chest.
He was quiet for a long time, just laid there with his right hand playing with the ends of my hair. Then he nodded silently and gave the top of my head a long kiss goodnight. "I love you Doll," he mumbled into my hair.
"I love you too Sweetheart," I replied almost quietly enough to not hear.
#james buchanan barnes#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#bucky x female reader#bucky fic#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x rogers!reader#winter solider x reader#marvel fic#marvel fanfiction
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dude, weâre getting the gang back together! teaser
word count: 430Â
warnings: kidnapping but not the dangerous kind, memory loss, mentions of scary news stuff, mentions/descriptions of panic (but like will thinks he was kidnapped ((bc he kind of was but go off)) so itâs not unreasonable), reader has no goddamn clue how to read a room
description: You and Leo were the only ones to keep at least some of your memories when your friends got theirs taken away and scattered to the winds. Now something bad is coming, and the only thing to do is take a massive cross country road trip to reunite everyone - if you can convince them their past is real.
a/n: idek bro, I just want adventurecore roadtrips with leo so thatâs what weâre having for dinner tonightÂ
Will tugged at the bindings on his wrists, doing nothing more than pressing his arms harder into the folding chair. His heart was speeding, and he tried in vain to keep his panic at bay. The only lighting came from a florescent light in the ceiling that was barely working. He squinted, trying to look around. Every horrible news article heâd ever read about kidnappings and murders and every other horrible thing was at the forefront of his mind. He tried to remember safety tips, how to untie your hands, anything that might prove useful.
Footsteps.Â
âWhoâs there?!âÂ
Silence, followed by a hushed whispering.
âWhat do you want?!â He tried to keep his voice under control, barely managing.Â
âWhat do I want?â A rush of flames ignited a camping lantern, basking the room in a warm eerie glow. Itâs set down on the table in front of him.Â
âI mean,â his captor turns to a second person, âI dunno about you, Sparky, but I could really go for some garlic bread right now.âÂ
A weak chuckle.Â
The other guy, Sparky, was hispanic and giving the first person a look that screamed âwhat the fuckâ.Â
âSorry, poor timing on my part.â You leaned forward and he could see your face clearly. You looked bizarrely familiar, but he had no idea from where.
âHi,â you introduced yourself, âso Iâll just say it; weâre not really kidnappers and the life you know is a lie.â You did uncomfortable jazz hands, seemingly to ease the tension.Â
âSparkyâ face palmed, and you sputtered out, âWh- this is why I never do the whole speech thing! Ugh, I wish we had the orientation video...âÂ
âOh my gods,â he groaned in response.
âYou explain, youâre better at it,â you dragged Sparky closer to Will, apologizing profusely.Â
âOkay,â he started, with you standing behind him, âyou ever been to Long Island?â
âN-no?â Will replied.Â
âActually, you have.â He slides a polaroid across the table, and Will struggles to see it in the dim lighting. There he was, surrounded by a group of people - including his captors - he had never seen before. His eyes kept falling on the raven haired boy hugging him.Â
âH-... how-â
âWeâll explain on the way, but you have to come with us. Weâre running on a very tight schedule, and we have to get the others.âÂ
âOthers?â
âYup,â he replied, ânext upâŠ?â
âNico Di Angelo,â you finished. That name was all it took to send all logic over the edge.Â
âOkay.â Will said, his mouth answering before he could process what was happening, âLetâs go.â
#Heroes of Olympus#heroes of olympus x reader#Leo Valdez#leo valdez x reader#solangelo#leo valdez imagine#heroes of olympus imagine#I'm gonna stick to a posting schedule#my adhd brain getting hyperfixated on reality shifting for a week straight i'M gOnNa StiCk To A pOsTiNg ScHeDuLe!!!!#yikes#anyway i tried for a couple days straight to think about draco malfoy and hogwarts right#it's going okay#I havne't shifted yet btw#then today i have exactly one (1) leo thought#and hogwarts gets wrecking balled#so thanks for that sparky#ao;hdadsjl wish i could regulate my brain sometimes but here we are
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through Osmosis i think one of ur characters is named vapor n i also think there's one named oliver (??). maybe one that starts with a C too, i think?? please tell me about them!!! what's their favorite food!! they're darkest fears??? what would they do on a sunday morning when they had nothing else to do. im already in love with them and i know nothing, please share đ„ș -ise
this is. probably going to be long so im going to pop it under a read more skfjslfld
so vapor, oliver, and clemency are the little bastards who are like. at the forefront of my mind most often dklsjdf
vapor is my pc in the dnd campaign im in right now, oliver is an idea for a motw pc, and clemency is the next dnd pc i wanna play bc i came up with the idea for them from a twitter meme and i havent stopped thinking about them since (some aspects are a little less fleshed out but,,, here's a start!!)
Vapor's a funky little water genasi rogue with all the classic rogue grimdark backstory stuff because im highly unoriginal <3 but she's a pretty basic gal. I think a favorite food of hers would be nice, hearty homecooked stews her mother used to make or one of the ones that the healer she apprenticed with used to make. darkest fears would probably be getting close to people again only to have something bad happen to them (because that seems to be the single common thread in her intrapersonal relationships). Also i think just. just allowing people she cares about to die? like she couldn't ever do anything about it in the past but if she were to be in that position again and she still couldn't save someone? it's a terrifying thought. as for lazy sunday plans, i think she'd be pretty content to hang with the rest of the party! probably listen to our 16 year old artificer come up with his newest invention, play some card games with the other rogue and the druid, or listen to stories from everyone else's previous adventures (while not giving up many of her own).
clemency is really cool, I have kinda imagined them to be a tiefling death domain cleric who's a real stickler about not like. messing with that (that's right, this cleric is not going to be doing any revivify so Do Not Ever Ask Them) (listen listen listen three guesses as to who served as a bit of inspiration for them and i don't think i need to let you know their deity of choice). I think they grew up in a pretty secluded enclave and are kind of being told to go out into the world before settling back down in the enclave's power structure. I think there's this one hand pie that someone in the enclave makes and it's so hearty and savory and flakey that they do kinda try to make it on their own to little success. A big fear of theirs is simply not being seen as worthy for their spot or to be favored by their goddess. Their entire life has been nothing but dedication to order so if they were to suddenly feel as though they couldn't maintain it any longer, their sense of self would be gone. I think lazy sunday's are kind of a novel thing for them but I imagine they'd like to go for some nice walks, hang out in sun, perhaps sit by the water's edge and skip a stone or two.
oliver is my beloved little bastard who i think has become really inspired by some of the pathetic fellas i wanna keep in my tote bag. his playbook would likely be the flake, leaning heavily in on some of the more unhinged aspects. I totally do see him as a generally mild mannered like. high school science teacher (biology or maybe chemistry?) and just kinda gets walked all over by his students but when he goes home, he is certain he is on the edge of a kind of breakthrough. he's determined to unlock the secrets of the universe, life, and death. i think his diet is real bad. like he lives on black coffee and gas station snacks [no time to cook, too busy] but he does love a good cinnamon roll [used to be a big treat on the mornings of big holidays]. he fears death so completely and terribly. fears wasting away into oblivion and obscurity and he is going to do everything in his power to prevent that. any means necessary. and i do genuinely believe he doesn't allow himself time to rest [though he does love reading a good story every now and then. I think he's a big bradbury and lovecraft fan. of course.]
#rip (reeses in pieces)#vapor#clemency#oliver whimbley#ocs#kalopsia#i just. i just think all my lads are neat#oliver is just the skrunkliest guy#also i linked my pinterest boards for each of them bc im obnoxious slkjsdklsdfj#thank you!!!!#also v good osmosising !#đ§ž
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alone
SUMMARY: In the midst of World War II, Gilbert has a quiet conversation with a close companion as he continues his covert rebellion against Germany. They discuss the developments of war and the difference between free will in Nations and humans.
This drabble references Inge, whom was Gilbertâs secretary mentioned in this drabble as well. Here she is still his secretary, but also plays a further role in his life.
Historical Drabbles based on Words
Mid 1943 || Undisclosed Location || 20:05
In a dark room, lit only with a few lamps, plain black curtains drawn, a group of young men and women stood around a table, littered with papers and photographs. Behind them, mounted to the wall, was a very well-worn map of Europe. Little flags were pinned into various places all over, and various pins also held strips of paper with coordinates, radio transcriptions, photographs, and other various words. The men and women spoke in hushed tones, murmuring to one another and gesturing to various things around the table, or occasionally pointing to the map.
Gilbert was at the forefront of this table. After quite some time, all sat back in their seats. They looked tired and worn out.
âWe know our positions?â Gilbert sat at last to them. He pointed to stacks of papers on the corner of the table. âLeaflets - remember to take yours. Radio scripts - we all have our duties.â They all collected their things.
âRemember -â Gilbert stopped everybody before they left and made eye contact with all. âGerman intel is beginning to suspect something coming from Pas de Calais. We cannot let them think differently.â His voice lowered. âThis has the potential to be exactly what we need to turn the tide of the war.â
Carefully, in a fashion that was deliberately planned, the company departed. At the end, Gilbert was left, staring up at a map of Europe blankly. Every now and then, he would reach up and move a tiny flag to a new position.
âI need a coffee,â Gilbert mumbled, rubbing his face. He suddenly felt exhausted. Granted, he usually felt exhausted nowadays, but every now and then it caught up to him.
âYouâre out of coffee, Mr. Beilschmidt,â came a voice from the door. Gilbert turned and saw Inge, his secretary. She was in the meeting with him - one of those he had roped into being his revolutionaries - but he thought that she had left.
âA cigarette, then.â
âOne left.â She came and stood next to him, leaning her hips against the edge of the table. Quietly, she pulled out a cigarette tin from her purse and handed him one. âAre you done obsessing over that map?â
âNo,â Gilbert grunted. âNot until everyone is in the position I want them to be.â
She snorted. âYouâre just positioning them to the radio broadcasts. Stop overthinking things - we have a plan. A deception campaign, so that the real invasion can be a success. You yourself said this was the key to victory.â
Gilbert rubbed his head in frustration. âIâm not used to these sorts of things. Misinformation campaign...covert operations. Iâm used to...charging into battle, facing the enemy head-on. Strategising the entire landscape of battle. This whole thing is just...not what Iâve done before. Not what Iâm built for.â
Inge was silent for a while, following his gaze to the map of Europe, eyes dancing across the tiny flags littered all over the geography. âHave you ever done anything like this before?â she asked quietly.
âA deception campaign?â
âRebellion.â
Gilbert watched her carefully before his eyes turned downward. âTechnically, itâs against our very nature to do so,â he explained quietly. âI suppose the closest Iâve come was fighting to take back Royal Prussia from Poland or...well, I suppose when I fought against Napoleonâs army...joined the Sixth Coalition, I was rebelling. I was already under six years of French occupation, so the very nature of going to war meant fighting against who was then my superior.â He smiled at her, suddenly flooded with fond, proud memories. âBut morale was high. We were fighting for freedom, for independence. We were better than to be a satellite country, and we knew that.â He sighed. âI had an entire army behind me when I faced Bonaparte. I had allies, in Russia and Austria. I didnât feel so...alone in this.â
âNot alone,â Inge said, placing a comforting hand on his arm. âWe might not be an army but we - well, weâre damn good.â She began to grin as she looked towards the map on the wall, gesturing to it. âAnd besides, you have - why, you have four armies with you! And theyâre not just behind you, but also, well, to the East and the West...and the North and the South.â She nodded earnestly. âTheyâre still your allies, theyâve been nothing but helpful to you so far.â
Gilbert gave her a look. âBecause I give them what they want,â he said dryly. He glanced away, back at the map - it was a safe place to rest his eyes, and divert his attention from a difficult topic. âThey donât like it, though. Whenever something comes from me - they donât like it at all.â
âThey donât like it?â Inge scoffed. âYouâre one of the most valuable assets. Youâve given more information than probably any spy. You have all of the information they need.â
A snort. âWeâre not supposed to rebel, Inge. If I can do this - and do this much...â he shrugged. âIt means so can theirs as well, if the conditions are right.â He crossed his arms over his chest. âRemember what Iâve told you. We only look human. We are never supposed to act human. We are not given the luxury of choice.â
Inge was quiet for several heavy moments. Then, she spoke:Â âDoes it feel like a choice?â
âIt feels like a sickness,â Gilbert answered, perhaps too sharply. âLike a disease of the mind. Most unnatural.â He sighed when he realised how he had come across. âIt isnât that I regret what Iâm doing - I do not. I just wish it had never come to this to begin with.â
Inge nodded slowly. âI understand.â
 âI assure you...if this invasion is a success, and they push into Germany...â Gilbert paused, inhaling a deep breath. âThey will not be kind,â he finally said. âThis war is cruel. There is no honour in it, not like before, in my glory days. I ask that you leave Germany, if that is the case. I can assure you safe passage out of the country, where you will be safe until things...get better.â
Inge did not respond for several minutes. It was a long, heavy pause. At last, she smiled weakly and cleared her throat. âOh, Mr. Beilschmidt - I donât think Iâm going to be around when the invasion happens,â she said quietly. âI know that Iâm being followed...monitored very closely. Itâs only a matter of time.â
This surprised Gilbert. He looked over at her in surprise, visible shock on his face. âThen you have to get out now,â he hissed. âI can...I can figure something out.â Already Gilbert was wracking his brain for solutions. âI used to have connections through Holland, that might be a bit difficult now, but maybe if I pull some strings, or through the south of France-â
âGilbert.â The softness of Ingeâs tone and her using Gilbertâs first name - rather than his surname like her norm, caused him to stop instantly. She reached out and put a gentle hand on his arm. âIâm not going anywhere. Iâm seeing this through, until the end.â
He watched her for several moments. Behind her eyes was unwavering confidence. Some part of Gilbert was proud - and another part was afraid. Afraid of losing yet another connection to his people. âBut Inge, you have a young son - He needs his mother.â
She shook her head, withdrawing her hand to cross her arms. âWho do you think Iâm fighting for? Humans are not so lucky - like some - that we see the end of every conflict we fight in. Iâve already had my affairs settled and have made arrangements to have him cared for after Iâm gone. I had to choose between my life or my legacy. I want him to grow up in a better world than I did. Is that not what any mother wants?â
Inge straightened up and straightened out her skirt, clearing her throat. âBesides...I know that there will be people in his life who will teach him of his motherâs legacy.â She smiled widely. âI have never been afraid of death, Mr. Beilschmidt.â
She turned to leave then, and Gilbert watched her slowly, processing her words. âWhere are you off to?â he asked quietly.
âWell, my boss is a very high ranking and hard-working man,â she hummed, turning to look at him. âAnd I think he just ran out of cigarettes.â
âCoffee, as well,â Gilbert added lightly, a small smile coming to his face.
âYes, and coffee. And you know, thereâs talk of some kind of invasion, so I may need to stock up.â She winked subtly at him, barely seen in the dim light. âI will see you at the office.â Quietly, she left the room.
Gilbert watched her leave for several moments, until he was quite sure he was completely alone. He then turned to look back at the map. He felt like it taunted it, driving him slowly insane.
âIâm already insane,â he mumbled, shutting his eyes and rubbing his head. He opened his eyes again and his sight landed on a familiar place - Königsberg. He sighed again as Ingeâs words ran through his head. Life and legacy. âOh, Inge...I worry that by the end of this, I wonât have either.â
He stood up then. It was time to go. There was work to be done.
#Anonymous#this was sent to me 2 months ago#it took me FOREVER to write it#but I really enjoyed this#WWII is an important time for Gilbert's development#he went through LOTS of changes#drabbles
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From Baby to Babe~
I once wrote this  https://miss-choco-chips.tumblr.com/post/190983954737/theres-a-point-in-all-the-rouges-gallerys-lives and @theturdis wanted a fic about it, so... Just remember, you asked for this hon. This ainât my fault.
Tagging @animemangasoul who just told me to tag them the next time I wrote something.Â
Fair warning everyone, I somehow did this in one sitting, and, I canât stress this enough, thereâs no edit whatsoever. Like, none. Enjoy, if you can ignore the eyesore of my multiple mistakes.
----.----
Bruce despairs in the knowledge of his sons growing up hot.
---.---
When Dick came back to Gotham as the new Nightwing for the first time ever⊠well.Â
Bruce didn't like to think about the first suit, back then. All those feathers and glitter, the plunging V neck, the mullet⊠His son had insisted on it being the trend at the time. Bruce just couldn't grasp how was he supposed to blend into the night and take anyone by surprise. There was too much... everything, and not nearly enough stealth.
He was an innocent man, back then. He looked at a horse gift in the mouth and was completely blindsided when it raised on itâs hind legs and kicked him where it hurted.
When Selina approached him a few weeks after N had come to him with the blueprints of his new suit, he had been quiet relaxed. Or as relaxed as one can be when crouched like a gargoyle and looking over the city. He was just getting back on track after⊠Jason (it still hurted, and probably always would, to think about him), his new partner helping in ways he couldnât foresee, violence tampered by Timâs brilliant smile every time he came to Bruce with the answer to a particularly difficult riddle he had been having trouble with. He had to get his act together, because Tim was so bright, mind so beyond what Bruce could ever aspire to, and he was at such an impressionable age⊠If Batman allowed himself to fall deeper into despair, he would set a dangerously bad example to the kid, which could be really damaging⊠to the world at large. He was the kind of kid that B wanted on the side of Justice, because the opposite would be quite catastrophic.
So yes, he had been very distracted lately, merely glancing over Dickâs blueprints, noticing the lack of brilliantine and gold, and giving his wholehearted approval.Â
Stupid, innocent man he was. He had needed Catwoman of all people to open his eyes.
(To this day, he still wondered about Alfredâs reason for not warning him sooner. Perhaps, and this was the theory he had running, the old butler had been just so delighted at seeing the Disco suit gone, he would approve almost everything in its place, and Dickâs virtue had never been his responsibility to preserve, so to hell with it.
Betrayal always hurted the worse when it came from those closest to you)
-Hey handsome.
-Cat.
She rolled her eyes, already beyond his brood, and just walked out of the light, joining him into the shadows with a sigh at his dramatics.Â
-No theft today?
The woman grimaced a bit, letting herself fall at his side with as much grace as she did everything else. Diamond claws scratched at her scalp, carefully not tearing the frail skin, and Batman finally conceded and turned his head to look at her directly. She was never so hesitant.
-Look. I really, really donât want to be the one telling you this. I would literally rather leave this to anyone else, but⊠itâs getting out of hand.
-What is it?
-Nightwing. Hadnât you noticed anything about him?
That got whatever rest of his attention she hadnât already caught. Speaking of his sons always had that effect on him.
-What happened to him?
-Nothing, just⊠Heâs been out a lot, hasnât he? I thought he didnât operate in the city as muchâŠ
She was stalling, which was worryingly out of character for Selina. But since this was about Nightwing, he had to be patient and let her talk her way into whatever information she was going to lay on him.
-Iâve been⊠-training a new Robin, not that he could tell her that- busy, lately. Heâs picking up the slack while Iâm focusing on it -a.k.a helping him both patrol the streets and teach Tim.Â
-I noticed the changes, yes, whatever therapy youâre doing is great for you -she encouraged, more honest than he thought her capable of. He could already see her deadpan when she figured out the reason for his change, his âtherapyâ as she put it, was an eleven year old thrusting himself at this dangerous life of his.
-Hm.
-Well⊠Anything noteworthy about him lately? Crime Fighting related?
Since she was stressing the words so much, he gave them deep thought.
-He has been on a streak lately. A lot more arrests⊠Whatâs your point?
He could almost see the second she internally said âfuck itâ and just blurted everything out.
-Thatâs because his new suit is, and this is coming from me, B, indecent, and every criminal out there is focusing more on his ass than his punches and flips so heâs kicking ass easier.
Bruce kicked his way to the forefront of his mind, the father in him hip checking the vigilante out of the way so he could properly freak out.
What? He knew the suit was a lot more tight than the former one, but heâd been so relieved at it being mostly black he hadnât given more than a cursory look⊠and he barely saw the man in it, often training together in workout clothes and coming and going to patrol at different times. He⊠wasnât prepared for this.
-Excuse me?
-Iâm sorry, someone had to tell you. Normally, Iâd be completely on board with a suit change from boring to daring, and you know of my good relationship with leather, but Iâve literally seen that kid grow up. If I have to listen to Harley talking about Nightwingâs ass one more time, Ivy wonât need to worry any more about the Joker killing her, because I will do it myself.
He wanted to thank her for standing up for his son, but he was still busy internally screaming.
-You want to hear Riddleâs last work? While looking directly at N, he asked âis buttcheeks one word? Or should I spread them?â. And then he winked. Winked, B. At your eighteen year old kid. You need to get your ass on gear and make sure Nighting changes his. I mean, Iâm getting used to it, but youâve been doing great lately, violent wise, and Iâd hate for you to relapse because you heard Zsaasz asking N to tie his ropes tighter and harder.
B⊠needed to go back to the cave and call N back early. They had to talk.
----.----
When Jason came back, the first thing to break past the âholy shit my son is aliveâ wall surrounding his brain was just how tall he had grown. How strong, how broad, how big. The little boy he had picked up from the street, underfeed and hurting everywhere, had turned out almost bigger than B himself and twice as brave. The wave of pride he felt was massive, but the feeling was short lived.Â
Jason was killing criminals, had even attempted to murder Tim. Even if the father in him could, in his desperation, try and overlook the first bit, the same side couldnât get past the second. Tim was as much his as Jason, and he couldn't turn a blind eye to it.
The relief of him being back that overflowed from Bruce clashed horribly with Batmanâs unbending morals, and the two sides warred for days for control. The attack on his youngest son had been the deciding factor in who finally won; Bruce couldnât fight the darkness in him when he needed it to help protect Robin from his predecessor, as much as it pained him.
Theirs was a long road, a difficult path to come back together as a family after so many mistakes on both parts (more his than Jasonâs, he knew, but admitting so was so hardâŠ), but they had finally, finally came back together. All his children, sitting around the dinning table at the manor, throwing food at each other behind Alfredâs back, Dick failing to give Jason a noogie, Tim succeeding in elbowing his way past both of them to claim first picks over the brownies, Damian rolling his eyes while sneakily drawing in his notebook what B suspected was a portrait of the three of them, Cass and Steph laughing at their antics⊠His heart felt like it could give out.
Again, his mind was anywhere but in⊠that. Already used to the dirty looks aimed at Nighting, he focused his anger into strength behind every punch, taking care to kick specially hard when aiming at the criminalâs genitals as light punishment for the lust they aimed at his oldest, but not longer trying to essentially castrate them.
He had the hang of it, and it was just one child. He could do damage control with one, it wasnât that hard. Stephanie wasnât really his, just under his protection as a mentor, and even then, she was mostly Barbaraâs; Cass could and would take care of anyone who dared look at her in a way she didnât like, so she was also good. Seventeen year old Tim and thirteen year old Damian were babies, so they wouldn't be an issue for a long, long time.
And then. And then, Steph had opened her mouth.
-Why canât Tim do this? -she had whined, raising the heels to eye level and studying them with profound distaste- I hate fighting on these. Heâs much better than me at that anyway, and he makes a hotter chick than I when he goes full out on his undercover gig.
Red Robin, who was walking past her on his way to the training mats, high fived her.
Barbaraâs voice came from the Batcomputer, Oracleâs voice filter not needed while they still were on the Cave.
-Because he and Jason canât act like a couple for more than two hours before one of them breaks into hives or laughter, and this is an all night long gig.Â
-Then why canât Tim and Dick go? You just need a girl as pretty arm candy distaction, the guy is the one whoâs gonna do the work, and Nightwing can take care of a few drug dealers himself.
-While Dick is certainly pretty enough to gain permission to enter this very private party -the man, stretching with Tim, stopped mid motion to give the computer finger guns. Barbara coughed to cover a laugh and kept going-, the goal is for him to be invited into the bossâs personal office, and we can only do that if heâs interested in what he sees. From what Tim gathered for me on his last recon, he favours⊠Jasonâs body types more than Dickâs.
Bruce, who was just getting out of the locker room, suit fully in place except from the cowl, raised an eyebrow at that, stopping to analyze his second oldest. Tilting his head, and still as confused, he asked what would undoubtedly bring him an unhealthy amount of regret in the very near future.
-What does that mean? Jasonâs...body type? You mean tall? Dick is also pretty tall.
There was total silence in the cave for a few moments. Dick and Tim got up from their positions, shared a look, and made a run for the showers, claiming they were ready for patrol (they werenât, not warmed up enough, but he had other things to focus on now). Damian, already fully suited, tutted and dragged the hood of his cape over his face, almost completely covering it. Cass looked on impassively, and Stephanie seemed to be getting a worryingly amount of glee from whatever this was.
Jason himself was⊠blushing? What?
-Whoâs gonna tell him? -finally asked Barbara, amusement breaking her professional facade.
-Oh, me, me! Let me do this!
Apparently still a naive man, he nodded at the blonde, ready for someone to clear this up for him.
He was regaled with a half an hour long rant about biceps, pecs, and thighs that could compete against tree trunks and win. It was supported by apparent citations from different criminals that ranged from appreciative to full on scandalous.
In the end, everyone left the cave, Batgirl with a notorious spring on her step, and Bruce had to stay home instead of going out, needing the night to fully process about his second son, almost twenty one but twelve in his mindâs eye, apparently featuring in multiple Arkham calendars.Â
He came out of that realization a scarred man, to say the least.
-----.-----
It was barely a few months after his traumatic chat with Stephanie when it happened again. Heâd like to say he was ready for this.
He wasnât.
When Conner Kent found him, he was completely focused on his WEâs work. For once on the office, with the TV providing some white noise in the background, he was fully prepared for a day catching up. He couldnât keep letting Tim take over most of the work, the kid deserved to have a normal (or as normal as any of them could achieve) teenage life.
He was of course notified the moment the meta breached the cityâs limits, but figured he was here on Titanâs business or hanging out with Tim. The light knock on his office window was a big surprise.
-This is unexpected, Conner. What can I do for you? -he greeted after letting him in- Tim isnât here today, heâs giving a press conference.
-Yeah, I know. Iâm actually here for you. We, the team, heard from Tim youâre making the blueprints for his next suit.
This conversation was already going in a very confusing way. Why did they care about Timâs gear?
-Yes?
-Well, you need to double check with us before you show anything to him -something akin to indignant surprise must have shown in his face, because the meta quickly raised both hands-. We donât mean that as you needing our approval, of course youâd know better how to keep a non-meta well protected. We know jackshit about kevlar and armor. But itâs the⊠style, that has us worried.
He let the anger bleed out of him, replaced with puzzlement.
-What do you mean?
Conner looked down, as if gathering strength, then up and straight into Bruceâs eyes, a feat very few younger heroes could achieve. This was serious.
-Tim isnât big like Jason, or as⊠stretchy as Dick, but he has⊠very, very attractive features. I wonât go into detail with you about how thin his waist is, how shapely his legs or cute his ass. Thatâs not something I need to say or you to hear.
Yes, it definitely wasnât. Bruce was having an inkling as to where this was headed, and he didnât like it. Tim was a baby! Barely eighteen and so damn small!
-But I do need to tell you, his ugly ass suits have been good at keeping that all on the downlow. We made fun of him for them, sure, but never encouraged him to change, because we know what will happen if he does. It would be awful. You think Nightwing and Red Hood have it rough? Tim has Raâs Al Ghulâs undivided attention and appreciation. If we add attraction to it? Mayhem. Absolute mayhem. We can barely keep him from being kidnapped by older, nasty villains as it is. We donât need the extra work, sir. Iâm begging you on behalf of the team, donât let him get anything that would look good on him. Like that Untranet suit he told me about, for example. That one would be so bad. Or the Red Robin one with tighter pants and a domino under the cowl so he can take it out and flash the world his luscious hair.Â
Bruce fell back into his desk chair. Elbows resting on the table, he buried his face into his hands.
A long silence filled the room.
-You already approved and made one of those, right?
A small, shaky nod.
-...The Ultranet one?
A firm shake.Â
-Fuck me. The Red Robin with tighter pants and domino?
Another nod. Conner sat abruptly on the empty chair in the other side of the desk, like a puppet with its strings cut.
-Well, fuck.Â
Fuck indeed.Â
Bruce despaired.
----.----
This time, he would be ready. He swore it on his honor, on his oath, on his parents.
So when Damian turned sixteen, growth spurt kicking in (he towed over Tim, and it wouldnât be long until he left Dick in the dust as well), he made a thought but necessary call.
He phoned Talia.
-We need to talk. About Damian, and⊠sex appeal.
Her shock was evident even through the phone.
-Excuse me? My son is a child. He has no such thing.
He closed his eyes. Once, a long time ago, heâd been just as naive. Now he knew better.Â
It was a hard lesson to learn, but she needed to. And quickly. Damian was growing faster than his other children. Time was of essence.
-Let me tell you what I wish I knew years ago, when Dick decided to change his Nightwing suit.
She was probably going to hate him for opening her eyes like this, but Bruce just couldn't do this alone.Â
He could deal with Taliaâs hate, but criminals lusting after his baby son? Hell no. He might actually go rouge.
#my writting#I have no excuse#no edit#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#Cassandra Cain Wayne#Stephanie Brown#selina kyle#barbara gordon#Alfred Pennyworth#conner kent#kon el kent#batfamily
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year six at hogsmeade
ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! This fic is for the @haikyuucreationsadmâ secret santa event! dedicated to @ichorizaki ! sol, I hope this gives you the warm fuzzies!Â
genre: fluff
warnings: none!
tags: harry potter au!, gn! reader, friends to lovers, yams is a lil over protective, fake dating (if you squint really really hard), yamaguchiâs pov !
a/n: no i do not hate the character i put as the slytherin (iâm not gonna spoil anything <3 teehee) i did it almost as an easter egg ...? like if you remember how yams reacted when he heard a certian thing come from his mouth,,,,,,, youâll understand why- the clip was playing in my head on repeat while writing it lmao (super vauge ik but ah ha haa)
Both of your school capes sashae across the cold stoned floor as you two head to the one class you had together. The air was nippy; delicate flakes of snow danced around the sky until they landed on the ground. Yamaguchi hugged his books closer to his chest in hopes to ease the lack of warmth. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw you nuzzle into your silver and green scarf that was already bundled up to your nose.Â
âCute,â he thought to himself- and when it comes to you, that word comes up in his head quite a lot.
 Far from being his favorite class, Yamaguchi Tadashi had to get used to the defense against the dark arts course. It was very⊠out there for him in the beginning. By pushing his limits, it created a wave of self-consciousness that would wash over him, resulting in the feeling of incompetence. Thankfully you were there to encourage and support him, just as you had been since the day you guys met. It was something about your strength and determination- he learned that through the years when you had an idea, a goal, or a project in mind, you would see it through. It was so inspiring to young Yamaguchi, the little boy constantly cowering away from anything that seemed too much. He would constantly be picked on and could never speak the words that clogged his throat but then you came along with a single snarky remark to end all of theirs. There was no time between the moment he words left your lips and when your hand slipped into his- pulling him away from any sense of loneliness he would ever feel again. You were there for all the big moments, from when he first got his letter to him getting sorted into Gryffindor to him trying out for their quidditch team. You two had been absolutely inseparable and neither of you would change a thing.
Yamaguchi cherished walking to class with you- the way you fit so well in the environment⊠he just couldn't take his eyes off of you. His favorite version of you was in the winter because you just looked so much cozier. The dark colors of your house heavily contrasted against the bright sparkling snow that reflected natural light into the corridor. The pink that tinted the tips of your ears made his heart skip a beat. If it hadn't been for you stopping by the opened door way, he would have completely missed the entrance to the classroom because of his⊠observations. He motioned you go in first, your eyes crinkled in thanks as you stepped inside and he swears that you caused a heart palpitation.Â
It was your guyâs sixth year at Hogwarts and by far Tadashi's favorite Defense Against the Dark Arts course yet. The teacher, Remus Lupin, had such a way of teaching that it was not only fun and interactive, but also incredibly informative- the prime way for him to learn. He was so happy that Lupinâs tactics were sticking, this meant he didn't have to cling to you for help as he had previously; He was able to show you that he was capable of being strong on his own. Whenever you showed your delight at Tadashiâs progress, he only wanted to work harder.
âHey so⊠after class, did you want to go to Hogsmeade and get something to drink from Honeydukeâs? Itâs all snowy out and itâs the perfect weather for something warm and comforting.â You grinned as the both of you took your seats, conveniently across from each other, the only thing that separated you two was a slim isle way. Yamaguchi turned to you with a small smile curving his lips, âYea, sounds good but just remember I have practice later so I can't be out too la-â his last word was cut off by an obnoxious scoff from the keeper from the Slytherin quidditch team.Â
âThat was supposed to be our practice, you know. Daichi snatched up our usual practice time.â Koganegawa Kanji said snottily, judgmentally eyeing Tadashi up and down before turning his gaze to you. Suddenly there was a different type of look in his eyes, a bright one that showed that he believed he could secure all sorts of things⊠including you. âThose Gryffindors think they can take whatever they want, but I know what we're going to be taking. The win at our next game⊠which just so happens to be against Gryffindor. Youâre going to be there, right y/n?â He practically beamed to you as he kept side-eyeing Yamaguchi.Â
Before you could even answer- before he could even realize what was coming out of his mouth- your shy, kind hearted, wouldnât-hurt-a-fly Tadashi rolled his eyes and said, âYea theyâre going, theyâre going to be screaming out my name when I catch that snitch.âÂ
Your eyes widened as you turned to him with your jaw slack, the sexual innuendo in the forefront of your mind but when facing your freckled best friend, it looked like he couldn't believe he was able to even speak up. Yamaguchi is not one for confrontation or someone who initiates fights⊠but when things come down to you, he acts in ways he doesnât recognize- for painfully obvious reasons.
âYou better watch that mouth of yours, Yamaguchi, or else i might just have to zip it up.â The Slytherin hissed, getting ready to reach for his want but stopped in his tracks when his gaze caught sight of a scruffy man in his mid 30âs standing behind the frozen Gryffindor, hands in his pockets and a brow raised.Â
âNow⊠I know you were not about to hex mister Yamaguchi inside of my class, right Mister Koganegawa?â Professor Lupin tempted, a small smirk danced on his lips with the unmissable glint of entertainment that twinkled in his warm eyes.Â
The professor didnât give the boy a chance to answer, instead turned around and headed to the front of the classroom while saying, âReturn to your seat Koganegawa, I expect whatever hex you were going to cast was going to be a naughty one. Well ironically, todayâs lesson is focused on learning to reflect those nasty cursesâŠâ The whole class settled in for the lecture as Tadashi sneaked a peak at the reaction that had been plastered on your face- boy, was it a cute one. Both of your lips curled in with saucer eyes, cheeks tinted a faint red, as if you were holding back a laugh that was forcing its way out.Â
<â„ïž>
After Lupin bid the class adue for the day, everyone went their separate ways; Tadashi held you close as you both headed to Hogsmeade, his arm draped over your shoulder as you leaned into him for warmth. The walk had been a comfortable silence until you spoke out your curiosity to break the ice, hitting him with the million dollar question.
âHey, what happened back in Lupinâs class? That was.. odd.. of you to say.â You inquired. Normally when you catch Tadashi off guard or in a vulnerable state, a cute blush dusts along the apple of his cheeks and the tips of his ears. You knew you were robbed of the sight, the cold had beat you to it, a violent scarlet already bared his skin.Â
He let out a sigh, the breath showing itself in the cold, before he muttered, âIâm just tired of him openly ogling at you like youâre some toy. Itâs not cool.âÂ
You responded with a slight hum, the real reply bouncing off the walls of your brain: I can't believe weâre not together by now.
âOh yams,â you chuckle as you huddle closer into his side.
<â„ïž>
Passing under the grand Hogsmeade archway, he was grateful that there were barely any students about- this meant you guys could get your drinks faster and walk around the shops easier. With the antique green and pink building in sight, the beeline to the shopâs entrance was determined.
âOkay okay, let me guessâŠâ you started as Yamaguchi held open the door for you to walk in, already eyeing the colorful treats that decorated the room, âyou want a hot chocolate.âÂ
âAnd you want a hot strawberry tea.â Tadashi retorted with a smile.
âItâs almost like⊠weâve known each other for years.â You say, your tone dripping in sarcasm as he watches your finger trace over the newest candy they sold.Â
Sol, a sweet thatâll brighten your day! The container said, with a picture of what looked to be an edible ball of light. Supposedly, once it hits your tongue, it melts into the flavor you're craving most.
After inspecting the shelves around the store for any new and exciting treats, you both headed to the register where Tadashi placed the drinks order and fished out two golden galeons and five silver sickles. He snuck a glance at you admiring the brightly colored walls to make sure you weren't looking as he slipped the cashier the two packets of sol he stealthily grabbed and handed them three extra sickles. A sweet surprise for later.
Leaving the store, Yamaguchi watched the way your hands slipped around the warm cup, the tips of your fingers slightly intertwined. He wanted nothing more than to take your cup out of your hands and intermingle his fingers with yoursâŠbut he couldnât, it would be crossing a line, wouldnât it? Nevertheless, the image of holding your- probably- freezing hand was on his mind the whole time you two were walking around the village you knew all too well.
Deciding that it was pretty late you guys began to head back to the castle. The snow crunched underneath your boots with almost empty cups in your hands, you knew it wasn't going to take long before youâd be greeted by the back entrance of the castle. ââDashi⊠do you have to go to practice? I⊠i need help with Lupinâs coursework.â you stutter out, causing Yamaguchi to pause and turn toward you.
This took him by surprise, normally you were really good with your coursework, so for the roles to switch⊠something had to be off. Â
â y/n... You know I can't. The team said they really need me there. Daichi would have my head if I missed practice. The game against Slytherin is so close and I really need to-â he cut himself off before he could reveal too much or get too annoyed, the flash of Koganegawa smirking flashed in the back of his mind.Â
âyou need to⊠what? I saw your last game and the way you soared through the air was incredible, it didn't seem like you needed to work on anything!â you pouted with damn wide eyes.
Tadashi tried to ignore the slight increase in his heart's beating pace, âaha well..â he said as he lifted his arm to scratch the back of his head, âweâre a team and they need me as much as i need them!â you stopped walking so he turned to face you.
He watched the small sad smile creep onto your face before hearing you mutter, âJeez, when did my Tadashi become so popular?â
For Yamaguchi to not lean in and plant a kiss on your lips, something had to be holding him back... but there was nothing- if anything, you seemed to slightly lean in.Â
He figured that you'd assume that the first move was going to be on your part, as it normally was when something serious would happen between the two of you but he wanted to prove to you that he's changed. He's not scared anymore. He has no reason to be. Heâs learned so much about himself throughout the years because of you. You're the reason he was the social person he was today. And he was the one that finally connects your lips with his.Â
Due to the cold and dry winter, both lips are not as smooth as wanted but it doesn't stop him from deepening the long awaited kiss. He placed his open palms on your waist and his fingers gave you a small squeeze when he heard you sigh into the kiss.
When Yamaguchi felt your arms around his neck, he swore the world stopped turning for a second. The warmth that he was feeling was unmatched- this was warmer than any other winter coat had made him.Â
When he pulled away, your arms stayed around his neck and he refused to let his hands leave your waist.Â
âI uh-â at this point Yamaguchiâs face was bright pink, yours being no different, âum Iâve wanted to do that for so long.â You said, cutting him off.Â
Tadashi had to blink a few times, as if he was clearing his vision because what he just heard wasnât possible.Â
âN-no wayâŠâ he mumbled, looking at the ground next to you. Tadashi almost felt overwhelmed but one thing's for certain, the weight of needing to properly confess was only getting heavier so he gulped down his anxiety- as you had taught him so many times before- and brought his eyes to meet yours.Â
âY/n⊠Iâm so in love with you. I have been for so long-â
Something red wizzed before your guysâ eyes, cutting off his huge confession. His eyes became wide at the hovering letter facing him.Â
A howler.Â
Before you could even raise an eyebrow, the letter opened itself in the shape of an origami mouth.Â
âYamaguchi, YOU ARE LATE FOR PRACTICE! WHY? WHAT COULD BE SO IMPORTANT THAT ITâS CAUSING YOU TO MISS PRACTICE?â the letter with daichiâs deep voice boomed around the empty of the woods. It began to look around, as if it could see the surrounding area- which was weird because typically howlers were only used to relay a (very loud and disappointed) message. When the envelope eventually faced you, the bottom of the mouth dropped and seemed to gulp.
âAh.. i see.. Hi y/n⊠um,â the letter turned to face Yamaguchi before reminding him to go to practice and ripping itself apart.Â
It was silent for a second, neither of you knew what to say.Â
âI dunno but it almost sounded like Daichi wanted me to go to practice.â was the first thing he said. He watched your face contort from a small smile to a full out grin joined with a hearty laugh.Â
âLet's get you to class âDashi.â you said as you wound down from your laughing fit. Holding out your hand, the expression you gave him was one that he never saw from you before. The corner of his eyes crinkled with how genuine he was smiling as he took your hand, finally getting to entwine your fingers together as you guys headed to the quidditch field.
Ps. yes you did scream out his name when he caught the snitch- it didn't go unnoticed...
#she dreams !#merry christmas#happy holidays#yamaguchi x you#yamaguchi tadashi#haikyuu yamaguchi#yamaguchi x reader#hq yamaguchi#yamaguchi fanfic#yamaguchi fluff#haikyƫ!!#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x y/n#haikyƫ!! x reader#harry potter#hp aesthetic#hp au!#gn!reader#haikyuu fluff
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She-Ra Season 5... Letâs See:
Someone asked me just why precisely I ended up disliking Season 5 the way that I did, and yanno, Iâm gonna lay down my honest thoughts here for yaâll who follow me and mught be interested in my very particular take.
AND IT MUST BE SAID BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE, my Ultimate view of the season... and I guess my final take on SPOP as a whole is Askewed, because by the final 2 or 3 episodes I began to skim a lot, just trying to END IT, so bear that in mind I guess.
I mean, there were a good bunch of things from this season that were very much disappointing to me.
I felt as though, many of the conflicts AND GROWTHS that had been established for the characters and their relationships, obviously I mean Bow, Glimmer, Catra and Adora were somehow... either modified, forgone entirely, or diminished for the most part.
One Iâll mention right now would be Glimmerâs and Adoraâs. Leaving from season 4, the conflict within their friendship and the strain generated by Glimmerâs dispair of losing her mom, activating the heart and hurting Adora were, to my perspective atleast, played to be a BIG pivotal moment in the show, and a Huge deal in terms of the exploration of that relationship...
And it was resolved in a half minute teary eyed apology... I guess. Suddenly all the guilt on both parties fell away... No more LITERAL DISPAIR to have each other safe...
Then hanging off of those same conflicts.. Bow and Glimmerâs?? which, I personally appreciated the fact that we got to see Bow affected by Glimmerâs actions and we also got a taste of an ideal of redemption and atonement for oneâs mistakes through Glimmer... but same thing? Half an episode of some RATHER OOC... harsh looks and words between them? And that was that.
It must be said, I liked a lot of the clashes brought up within the princesses themselves. Entrapta and Mermistaâs scene with the antenna was very nice for me.
And oh Boi, the Big Fish.
Catra and Adora. This one just straight up hurt, AND NOT EVEN FOR THE REASON YOU MIGHT THINK!  I LEGIT... Would not have minded Catradora AT ALL, But I always set a high price for it.
Through the seasons, specially 3 and 4, I UNDERSTOOD that Catra and Adora had a very weird, askewed and very much not healthy relationship, one that, although was forged and maintained with much TRUE LOVE AND AFFECTION, also had a struggle of understanding. Both had erroneus views of one an other and of their love.
Ultimately, to not analize Catra and Adoraâs whole turnabouts... by seasons 3 and 4, My understanding was that Adora was ready to move on from a person who had simply MADE A DECISSION, who, no matter how much she would try, would hurt her out of resentment.
And by season 4 I understood out of Catra, that she had burned all the bridges she could ever have, she was alone, she made her choice right?
So how could their romantic Love come to fruition? Again, this was very much MY particular understanding of their relationship, BY SEASON 3, ANY UNCONDITIONAL LOVE THEY HAD, I THOUGHT TO BE GONE.
So my... ideal? I guess, was: In order for them to be okay with one another again, both of them have to grow independently.
JUST ON CATRA ALONE? I had such big hopes for the way her redemption wouldâve been met... In my eyes, no matter how much hardship she had went through, she ultimately became a terrible person, fueled by a horrid desperation and emotional torment yes, but she still had choices, she chose.
To me, her redemption had to have been wanted out of an understanding that she would have to make up for ALL her wrongs, because she felt that would be the right thing to do in the end...
My big hope wouldâve been for GLIMMER to teach her that.
Thatâs another thing I hated so MUCH about this season, 2 episodes worth of being in space jail, and they talked a total of 2 TIMES!!! :D And I guess that was enough :V
And Catra saves Glimmer yes... but not because it was right? SHE DID IT FOR ADORA!
Donât get me wrong, it was a good moment to say Oh She Still Loves Adora.
BUT AGAIN, SO SHE REGRETS NOTHING??? NONE OF THE PAIN AND WRONGS SHE CAUSED TO OTHERSSSSS???? JUST TO PROTECT ADORA.
Go off I guess.
Then we move on to Adora... desperately and unconditionaly STILL wanting to save Catra, Which I sort of get??? But the reasoning the story gave me was... that it was Out Of Unconditional Love... again. A PROMISE~
God I mean, to me that was such a terrible lesson to teach, a horrid message.
âAll your wrongs CAN be forgiven, so long as I love you, and You love me back! We promised each other as much! :Vâ
Hell, Noelle said it herself at some point: âWhat happens when youâre the toxic friend?â
What happens when you are the person who is making others miserable?
What I wouldâve hoped for, was for the answer to be: âThat sometimes you end up burning bridges when you hurt those you love, and sometimes itâs impossible to rebuild them, but if you understand that what you did was wrong, and your willing to fix your wrongs and atone? You can heal, and you can heal othersâ
But what the show gave me... in my eyes: Was that âThe Hurt you experience will lead you to do terrible things, but those who love you unconditionally will Always be with you, if You make them feel loved, no matter what!â
In the end apparently they were wholly in love the entire time, all is forgiven and must be forgotten. Happy ending for all.
These are just those 2 or 3 examples, there were other Themes that just felt outright dropped?
Catra and Adoraâs refusal of Shadow Weaver as a parental figure for the fact that she was mostly their abuser for all their lives?
Naw forgiven, they still loved each other Unconditionally.
Catraâs growth outside of Adora?
Adoraâs CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT ON HER OWN AND THE DISCOVERY OF A NEW FOUND FAMILY TO LOVE AND PROTECT?
No they loved each other undonditionally, sorry.
TBH, so many of the interactions with the main characters felt as though they reversed to A Season 1 status, they did a full circle by just REVERSING everything ruegbsiusgsr
It legit FELT, like I was watching your Run of The Mill Catradora Fanfiction.
It was at the FOREFRONT.
And I mean, gimme my clown shoes and the trumpet red nose, but like, for the longest time, people had been saying âThe Show is about Catra and Adoraâs Relationshipâ, and WITH ALL THAT I SAW HAPPEN THROUGH THE SEASONS
I thought that was wrong.... I thought the core of this show was Friendship, ACTUAL FRIENDSHIP.
But alas itâs over.
I think... if I watched the season again? Knowing already what Iâm getting into and doing MY BEST to forget season 2, 3 and 4? Iâd prolly even enjoy it at face value.
Right now, Iâm hesitant of even wanting to understand Catradora More and seek to enjoy the show as is? Just because this fandom (mostly outside of tumble happily) has shown me to be so... vitrolic with all the othe character conflicts and relationships outside of Catra and Adoraâs, and the posibility that theirs, was not a good one.
So thatâs that on that.
Knowing me, maybe in a couple days, maybe a weeK, Iâll watch the final episodes FULLY and just... make my peace with the show and move on in Fanon, WITHIN the smaller space Iâve chiseled out of fandom.
Iâll miss She-Ra for what it gave me, and Iâll Yearn for it, for what it couldâve been.
-As a sidenote: Hey, might not be my taste in the development of a relationship, but ATLEAST itâs a lovefilled WLW relationship in a cartoon show for kids, and thatâs got some merit. so bye bye.
#She-Ra#if anyone has more questions on other aspects of the show#feel free to ask#I'm still rather#unorganized with my thouts#shera season 5#Catradora#Glimmadora#maybe?#idk#I can always edit these tags#they feel appropriate but#Meh
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Ever since I wrote about why I like using winter motifs in my writing, I started thinking about what other themes I use a lot. And since I saw other writers talk about theirs I thought it would be fun to do a quick rundown of some things I use a lot, be it themes or just ways of writing, just for funsies :3
Grief, Mourning, Fear of loss - Emotionally speaking, this seems to be a theme I find myself coming back to again and again. The suffocating quality of your dying breaths is about a fear of someone you hold dear killing themselves and you being unable to stop them. Red String of Death is about endless cycle of doomed love and grief. Call of the Wild is very much based on the feeling of longing and mourning for someone who will never again be as they were, of metaphorical death despite continuing life. Lio Fotia: Unextinguished is about losing a central part of yourself and keeping on living. Requiem of the Beast is about losing touch with your own past and feeling lost to time. My upcoming curse!Gojo fic has a whole chapter literally called GRIEF, the list goes on. I haven't been able to...get it exactly right just yet, it always escapes me, the feeling of the world slipping under you, how everything feels unreal, like a dream you know is not a dream, how everything is too much and too little and how words are too sharp because they bring to the forefront the knowledge that this is real life and its still gonna go on no matter what happened. I think this is a theme I'll be chasing for a long time still.
Ferality of human nature - Everyone by now probs know I fuckin love monsters but what I love even more are the intrinsic feral, rabid nature a human being can have when backed against the wall. The instinctive need to show your teeth and bite and hiss and defend yourself like you had never even evolved past the need to sink your teeth into the enemies flesh. The quick way we anger, the depth of hate we feel, the marrow deep feeling of wanting to destroy something that has to be railed in by human reason. This is why Mars Red and particularly Suwa with his whole 'If I smell human blood I'll immediately go into a murder frenzy' thing has captured my attention so much. I love base, uncontrollable emotions that still have to be suppressed and tucked away in favor of basic civility. Its harder to point at fics for this cuz its an emotional theme rather then story theme and usually happens when I write about anger and hate. If I'm mentioning teeth, that's probably it.
Example from Red Strong of Death:
Too many emotions rampaged through his mind, demanding to be felt. Grief and guilt mixed in a poisonous cocktail in his stomach, but he was a being made from anger and it was anger that prevailed in the end, resting against his teeth and seeping through his stitches.
Physicality of emotions - So like, one time I saw someone talk about how Ghibli movies feel so emotional because they show the way emotions feel not how they look. And I think that's a pretty good way to describe the way I try to do emotions too. When I try to describe a certain emotion I usually think like less what I'm emotionally feeling and more about how my body is physically responding to that feeling. And then I write that. Idk if that can be considered unique or annoying but it's just a way I like to write emotions. Again, I like to write the human body as something out of control, something you might even have to fight against, as it's own very responsive being. I think when I write things like these I usually focus on like throat, lungs, gut, very internal reactions to feelings. This usually applies for grief but I did it for love too.
Example from The suffocating quality of your dying breaths:
When he was done throwing away every potentially harmful thing in Dazaiâs possession, he headed to the door. His hand curled around the broken handle and squeezed it tight. There was something building in his throat, something raw and ugly, something crawling up his face and pestering his eyes. Something suspiciously like tears.
He squeezed the handle tighter and rubbed at his eyes, refusing to shed even one. He didnât look back. He didnât look back at the tattered apartment or the abandoned traces of Dazai in it. He forced himself to shut the door. Then he forced himself to let go. Then he forced himself to walk down the stairs and to his car and to start driving home. The entire time grief lurked in his throat like an enemy ready to strike.
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so iâm writing the future (ao3)
Ben breathed out a shaky sigh. His palms were sweating, as he pressed send on a text, asking Callum to meet him at the park. He would know which one. Theirs. He checked his pockets, both in an attempt to make certain he had everything, but also to put off leaving the house for as long as possible. Keys. Phone. Wallet. Ring.Â
It was beautiful weather, the mid-day sun beating down from high up above the park, the only shade being provided under the looming oak trees with their extensive branches and adorning leaves. He placed a blanket down, grateful that he picked a day before the schools were out for the summer holidays, meaning that the park was relatively empty. He didnât want them being interrupted by a screaming child, gossiping parents, or a football that had been haphazardly kicked in their direction. Callum walked in sight, and placed himself down next to Ben, leaning in for a kiss instantly.Â
âWhatâs all this in aid of?â He asked, pulling back from the kiss, hand running through Benâs hair, smiling as it curled around his ear.
âThought Iâd surprise you.â Ben explained, smile spread across his face, though he felt nerves coursing through every part of his body. âYouâve been stressed lately.â
Worry came to the forefront of Benâs mind as he thought of all the things that could go wrong. What if he had got this all wrong? What if Callum didnât want to get married to him? What if Callum hated the ring he had spent months deciding on? It genuinely terrified him, because Ben wants nothing more than to spend the rest of his like with Callum by his side, ring adorning both their wedding fingers.
âYouâre amazing.â Callum grinned, blush rising on his skin.
And just like that, all the worry that Ben held inside him, dissipated.Â
âI bought all your favourites, made a list of them and everything.â Ben admitted proudly. It had taken a lot of planning, from the initial moment he realised he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Callum. It had been stressful, trying to find the perfect ring, one that wasnât boring, but not too flashy all the same. And then it was deciding when to actually pop the question. He didnât want to wait until their anniversary, because that seemed so long away and the longer he left it, the more stressful it got.Â
âThank you.â Callum smiled, resting his hand on Benâs, running his thumb over Benâs knuckles. âI needed this.âÂ
It was peaceful. The park was quiet and secluded, and it put Ben at ease. They ate and drank and laughed at stories, not once getting bored in each others company. They kissed and kissed, and it struck a chord in Ben that they wouldnât have been able to do this when they first started their relationship. The sun beamed down on Callum, shining on his skin, and he was beautiful, leaning on his side as he laughed at a story Ben was telling him. Ben knew then, this was the moment he would ask.
âClose your eyes.â Ben commanded softly.
âWhat?â Callum laughed.
Ben smiled, and leaned to kiss Callumâs lips. âClose your eyes. Please.â
Callum chuckled, and shook his head lightly, but did it anyway. Â
Ben blew out a breath, shaking his arms to relieve himself of some anxiety that bubbled away. He took the box from his box, and clicked it open, perched on one knee. âCallum.â He whispered.
âCan I open my eyes?â Callum asked, grin on his face as his eyes were still screwed tightly shut.Â
Ben chuckled out a gentle laugh. âYeah.âÂ
So, he did. He opened his eyes, and saw Ben on one knee, holding a box in his hand, a box that contained a silver band, glistening under the sun. âAre you serious?â Callum asked, huge grin spread across his face, suddenly sitting up properly, just to get closer to Ben.Â
âJust, let me speak, yeah?â Ben asked. âI have this all planned.â
Callum huffed out a little laugh, biting his bottom lip in the shock of it all. He nodded.Â
Ben closes his eyes for a moment, remembering all the things he wrote down on a piece of paper under the heading âWhy I want to marry Callum:â.Â
âYou changed my world. When I came back here, I was broken, and evil. I didnât think that anyone loved me, or could love me. And I certainly didnât think that I would allow myself to feel love ever again. But then you came into my life, and every day since then itâs been a blessing. Weâve been through a lot, you and me, but we worked it out in the end â we always will. When you told me that you loved me for the first time, I broke your heart, and I will always be sorry for that. I didnât believe that I would get so lucky as to have you say those words to me. But I knew then. I knew I loved you then. I just couldnât say it. It terrified me. I genuinely thought that if I said it then, something would happen to you, and I couldnât go through that. Thereâs been so many moments in our relationship when I realised I could happily spend the rest of my life with you. Like when you woke me up with pancakes, just because I told you nobody has ever made them for me. And when I see you with Lex. Thatâs a family I never had, and never thought I would have. You make me so happy Callum, and I love you more than anything. So will you be my husband? Will you marry me?â Ben asked. It was just a portion of what he wanted to say. The list he has written was a long one, and he knew that he wouldnât be able to remember it all, though he wished he could.Â
âOf course Iâll marry you.â Callum responded, tears tumbling down his cheeks. He shuffled forward, legs now placed either side of Benâs body, and he leaned forward, capturing Benâs face and pressing their lips together, a showing of passion and love and everything in between. When Callum pulled away, his hands remained cupping Benâs face, and he spoke again, breath shaky. âI love you. So much.â
âI love you too.â Ben beamed. âYou like it?âÂ
Ben pushed the ring onto Callumâs ring finger. It was a silver band, engraved with dark swirls on the outside, and on the inside, personalised with their initials.
âItâs beautiful. Youâre beautiful.â Callum grinned. âWeâre getting married.âÂ
âWe are!â Ben grinned, leaning forward and catching Callumâs lips between his own, needing to kiss his fiancĂ©.Â
#bw2020#ballumweek2020#ballum#ben x callum#ben mitchell x callum highway#ben mitchell#callum highway#myfic
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The first ficlet from this list. Written for the prompt âI did it for you.â .
The Force feels like an open wound: a searing, sharp ache, pulsing incessantly at the back of his mind.
But it is nothing - nothing - compared to the sight and feel of the Temple.Â
Each stuttery inhale of breath Obi-Wan takes is accompanied by the stench of smoke and fresh blood. Everywhere he looks, he sees scorch marks and blaster burns.Â
And⊠dead bodies. Jedi and troopers alike, lying discarded on the ground, eyes staring vacantly into distance.
A tomb. That is what the Temple had been turned into. It has always been a home to peace and life and light, and now it is a place of darkness and death, the chill of it permeating the air, seeping into Obi-Wan's very soul.
And in the middle of it stands Anakin, darkness clinging to him like a trusted friend, his eyes shining with a fervent, near manic gleam.
If this is a nightmare, it is a new one. A horrible, wretched, impossible nightmare.
"Obi-Wan," Anakin says, stretching out his hand toward him. "You're finally here, with me. Safe."
Instinctively, Obi-Wan takes a step back, bile gathering at the back of his throat.
"Safe?" Obi-Wan repeats, incredulous. Distantly, he is aware of the tremor in his voice, in his hands. "How can you say that? Look around you, Anakin. At what has become of our home. At the bodies of our brothers and sisters. Of our men. Is that how safety looks to you?"
Anakin's outstretched hand curls into a fist, his mouth sketching an ugly, vicious slant. "They were traitors and liars, and no family of mine. They got exactly what they deserved."
The echo of Anakin's words - cruel, merciless, vicious - is still resonating in the stifling silence of the Temple when his expression softens, his fist loosening and fingers stretching invitingly toward Obi-Wan.
"You are the only one who matters. The only one who ever mattered," Anakin says, low and heated.Â
Obi-Wan swallows convulsively, the sound of Anakin's voice coaxing to the forefront of his mind memories of other times, other places. Memories of happiness and warmth, of whispered declarations and teasing endearments, of fevered touches and gentle kisses.Â
Illusions then, and now mockery. Every kiss, every touch, every promise; every single one once a precious treasure, now a brand of guilt and shame.
Obi-Wan shakes his head, forcing his attention back to the present. And Anakin, who is speaking, but his words are those of a stranger. A madman.Â
An enemy.
"... cannot spread their poison any longer. Or hurt anyone with their lies and hypocrisy." Anakin's gaze burned zealously, a hint of sickly yellow seeping into the blue of his eyes. "The war is over and the galaxy is finally safe."
A laugh, high and cracking at the edges, escapes Obi-Wan's throat as he takes another step back. Away from Anakin. "I don't think you grasp the meaning of that word, Anakin."
Obi-Wan can feel Anakin's anger flaring through the Force, beating at Obi-Wan's shields. He lowers his hand, slowly, his expression drawing into a scowl.
"Don't speak like that. The Jedi are gone. The Council is gone," Anakin says, each harsh word another blow against Obi-Wan's heart. "You are no longer theirs. To fight and to die for. Don't you see it, Obi-Wan? You are free. We are free."
The white noise inside Obi-Wan's head goes quieter with each word that leaves Anakin's mouth, leaving Obi-Wan with nothing but the terrible truth. The truth he avoided to face since the moment he felt his bond with Anakin become infused with thick, poisonous darkness and his own men turned their weapons on him.
Anakin is the enemy. A⊠Sith. And Obi-Wan has nothing left. Only the truth of himself. And a ragged hole inside his heart.
"You forget, Anakin," Obi-Wan says, quiet but steady. Briefly, he flicks a glance at the squadron of troopers standing a couple steps behind them. The blue on their armor marks them as Anakin's men. Obi-Wan cannot see their faces so he cannot tell whether they, too, wear the same blank face Cody did as he ordered Obi-Wan to be apprehended. The same empty gaze that remained unchanged even when Obi-Wan ignited his lightsaber. "I am a Jedi. And I have always been free."
Anakin blinks, confusion and an almost childlike hurt flicking across his features. "No. No," Anakin says, shaking his head in fierce, blind denial. "Stop saying that. They sent you to die. They would have kept sending you to die, if it weren't for me."Â
Anakin grows silent, his breathing harsh and loud in the ensuing silence. With a sickening lurch in the pit of his stomach, Obi-Wan notes that the yellow has nearly swallowed the blue of Anakin's eyes.
"Why are you so stubborn?" Anakin snaps, making a sharp gesture with his gloved hand. "The galaxy is ours. We can finally be happy together. No one can separate us anymore."
Obi-Wan's heart twists painfully in his chest. "I was already happy, Anakin. I thought you knew that," Obi-Wan says, voice soft, painfully aware that his admission no longer matters. Not now, when all chances of happiness are gone, shattered by Anakin's own hands. "And I never wanted the galaxy. Under any circumstances. Especially not when the cost seems to be genocide of my entire kin."
Anakin's jaw clenches, the Force trembling with his rage. With his despair. Obi-Wan feels them surging through their bond; a searing, destructive flame, destroying all traces of the warm, bright presence that has become an intricate part of Obi-Wan's life: something vital, necessary.
Something beloved.
"You speak treason, Obi-Wan," Anakin warns, his eyes narrowing. "Choose your words with more care."
Obi-Wan's mouth curves, forming a mirthless half-smile. "And what will happen if I choose to disobey? Are you going to have me killed? Or are you going to do it yourself?" Obi-Wan lets his gaze linger on the body of a Nautolan Padawan, lying just a few feet away, feeling his throat clench. A life that was only beginning, already extinguished. For the crime of being accepted among the Jedi.Â
Inhaling sharply, Obi-Wan snaps his gaze back toward Anakin, his expression hardening. "Like you did with the rest of my family."
"I did it for you!" Anakin cries, his voice reverberating through the empty hall and the Force alike. He points one accusing finger at Obi-Wan, his entire body looking like a coiled spring. "So you wouldn't die! So we could be together. And this is how you thank me? With contempt? And clinging to Jedi lies and corruption?"
Obi-Wan flicks a glance at the silent troopers, ignoring the writhing agony of his heart. Ignoring the guilt and regret of having failed Anakin so profoundly. Ignoring his own role - however inadvertent - in the destruction of everything he believed in. Everything he fought to preserve. Focusing only on one remaining truth of his life: he is a Jedi. And as a Jedi he will die.
"No, Anakin," Obi-Wan says, shifting into battle stance, the familiar shape of his lightsaber both a comfort and a terrible weight in his hand. Anakin's eyes go wide, only to close in the next moment, the Force around him screaming in turmoil. "Your deeds are your own. Your choices are your own. As for me, I would have gladly given my life to keep your hands clean of the blood of our brothers and sisters."
The hum of Obi-Wan's lightsaber igniting is followed by the troopers raising their blasters in Obi-Wan's direction.
Obi-Wan smiles grimly, tightening his grip on his lightsaber despite the hollow ache inside his chest. Death is not something he fears, and never has been, but dying at the hands of the men he trusted, at Anakin's hands, is beyond Obi-Wan's comprehension. Even now. Surrounded by nothing but death and darkness.
"No," Anakin commands, sharp and hard, focusing his burning gaze on Obi-Wan. "Anyone who harms him, dies. He is mine."
When Anakin ignites his lightsaber, Obi-Wan shifts into a familiar defensive stance almost without a thought, wondering, faintly, how long until red replaces the blue of his blade.
Just as sickly yellow had consumed the last traces of blue from Anakin's eyes.
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