cinnamonest

[cinnamonest]

Don’t worry about replying to this in any capacity. Just wanted to say that I read your most recent post and it was extremely helpful and informative for me. I was just talking to my dad earlier about really struggling to understand how anyone could support Trump when he is just a complete bumbling fool of a man at best and a piece of shit bigot and sexist at worst. (Not to say that Harris is some beacon in the darkness, not a fan of her either.) But the perspective you offered was really enlightening so thank you for it. and I hope you are doing well enough, all things considered, and that regardless of what happens in the coming days that things get better for you and your community.

Thank you, that's very kind. I'm very glad it was helpful, I was worried I was coming across the wrong way or didn't word it very well or could be misinterpreted.

If it helps, I had some more thoughts I think would expand upon that, specifically for women — since I see a lot of posts essentially asking how women can possibly vote for the guy, and I think I can explain that too, as I've been thinking and talking a lot about that with women who I know intend to do so.

1) I think for the upper class, they tend to focus more on social issues, because economic issues don't affect them as strongly.

But for some of these people, especially moms, the increased cost of living is literally a matter of "how am I going to feed my children, how am I going to pay electric AND water," etc. So it becomes a priority, especially as many families have lots of kids, and some are single moms. They don't really think as much about social issues, whereas when I went to college, most of the kids cared only about social issues. The more financially secure someone is, the less preoccupied they are with economy.

But for a mom, the safety of and provision for their kids is paramount above all else, so economy and crime will take priority.

But since we only have 2 major parties, people often assume that whichever you vote for, you must agree with ALL of the party's official stances, which is often not the case. That's part of why our bipartisan system is so divisive and breeds hostility, because it creates an "us vs them" mentality.

2) women in the area I talked about don't really even think about abortion/reproductive rights. They're not militantly anti-choice (like some of the more suburban moms of kids I went to school with), it's more that no one ever really thinks about it at all. Many of them have kids very young and lots of them, it's just normal. They also don't have careers to focus on in the way higher-class women do, and many have no chance of ever going to college, so there's less reason to hold off on it.

People do what's normal per their class/local culture — so here, if a girl gets unexpectedly pregnant (which is... not uncommon), they don't freak out or think about how it will affect their future, how they'll afford it etc, they usually just... shrug, drop out of high school, marry the guy, have the kid.

When we were 16, one of my good friends got pregnant, and she too did exactly that. She was unironically overjoyed to find out too, rather than panicked or dismayed. Like, when she took the pregnancy test, I was there with her, sitting on the tile floor of the church bathroom at 9 pm with the test we scraped cash together to buy from the gas station-pharmacy hybrid shop down the road, and she, as a 16 year old high school junior, was actively hoping, fingers crossed and smiling and everything, that it would be positive. She's now 24 and is about to have baby #5.

And part of the reason she was fine with it was... because her mom had her at 15. It's a very cyclic thing. The possibility of abortion would not occur to them unless someone else brought it up.

3) Moreover, when women vote, they focus on what affects them specifically as a woman — and prioritize what's most "real" to us as an individual woman, the hypotheticals one can most realistically see happening to them. But what that most realistic thing is, varies a lot from woman to woman.

For a woman living in, say, Maine or northeast California or even a safer rural place like Idaho, I can see how abortion is probably the most "real" thing to them, that they can see themselves being in a position to affect them.

Whereas for me, having experienced harassment and aggression, reading about these statistics and headlines, violence is something I am much more afraid of happening to me. I'm very careful to avoid an area where I was harassed before.

But for someone in a low-crime place, that isn't something that's going to be a priority.

I personally now realize that a lot of the misunderstanding and clashing is a matter of the fact that women in many blue areas simply don't think about this, because they've never had a reason to, and that's perfectly understandable.

But a lot of women in areas like my home do not realize that. Many women at home strongly believe that "them uppity rich white women out in California or wherever the hell" (quoth my 90-something year old neighbor), are aware of, but simply don't care about, the consequences women here/poor women face. I used to think so too, when I was younger, because that's what I was told.

As a result, they view their blue vote as a very "let them eat cake" heartless-rich-person sort of thing, as selfish and/or classism, in the same way that women in blue areas likely view their red votes as female-class betrayal, religious brainwashing, believe their husbands must be controlling them, etc.

Now, with greater life experience, I not only understand that it isn't like that at all on either side, but I can also see why many blue-area women dismiss our experiences as "not really happening" or "right-wing propaganda," simply due to the fact that it's very difficult for them to fathom it, because it's so different from the reality they live in, it feels like it can't be real.

4) it *is* true that these women are often demonized and gaslit for talking about the rapes, job loss etc, so that has shifted even more moderate women very rightwards over the last few years, because they feel silenced/censored.

Donald is a sort of savior figure — he acknowledges the issue they otherwise feel censored on, and moreover, has essentially promised to take away the men that hurt them, their daughters, sisters etc. They want to feel safe again, they want their husbands to get their jobs back, feel like they have a secure future, etc, and his platform is literally "make America safe again, make America rich again, make America great again."

That line you may have seen all over the internet a few days ago, where Donald said something along the lines of "I'm going to protect the women if they like it or not"? And you know how it earned disgust from the mainstream population of women?

That line was received extremely positively by women at home. I've already seen them sharing it around with my mom/aunts/grandma on facebook, in a positive light, ecstatic. It makes them feel seen and heard in a culture that otherwise puts a hand over their mouth, and they cling to those words in hope of a better future.

Tldr: it's women who are vulnerable and afraid and desperate, going for the only option that has promised to address their needs. Much conflict comes from the limited human ability to grasp things outside of ourselves, our tendency for solipsism — an unfortunate part of the human condition that has plagued our species from the dawn of time.

[cinnamonest]

I assume this is because I criticized Kamala Harris in my last post.

I want to address this because it's important to me and frustrations currently consuming my life, and I'm very emotionally unwell right now. I want to share my experiences and make a point I feel is important at this time.

Once again, this is very unfitting of the smut fanfiction blog and will be deleted later, even though I'm sure this is a huge follower-losing post, but whatever.

Forgive me for rambling so much, but I encourage you and people who think like this to read in entirety.

I realize things are tense right now in the US.

Part of the reason for my inactivity the past while (besides multiple hospitalizations) is that I'm glued to my screen every night now because I'm very scared. I've been spending all my time researching, watching videos from economists, etc.

(Preemptively, sources for everything I'm about to say: the FEMA Privacy Act Statement itself, the official CPB database, Helene People Finder, United States Council of Foreign Relations, Samaritan's Purse, NYC.gov, Starlink, Politico, ABC, CNBC, georgia.gov, nc.gov, tn.gov, my own life)

The US is an extremely high-tension, polarized political climate, largely due to the bipartisan system.

However, no one should be immune from criticism.

All politicians should be criticized when they do harm. I am allowed to criticize her, and I will.

Criticizing one candidate is not the same thing as endorsing/supporting their opposition.

3,000+ Appalachians are missing. The current death toll makes this the deadliest single event in the US since 1862. A higher death toll than Hurricane Katrina, a higher death toll than the events of 9/11/2001, a higher death toll than any mass shooting.

However, it is largely going completely ignored, and mainstream news media has barely acknowledged it, in part due to elections, but largely because the people who live in Appalachia are poor, rural people. And the harsh reality is that poor people's lives are not treated with the same value as people of higher classes.

FEMA continues to do nothing, and the feds are now threatening to take children away from homeless parents... yet they blocked donations of trailers and campers from nearby areas that would help those people to, you know, not be homeless. A kind group of Amish have come down from Pennsylvania to build shelters, and FEMA may tear them down too since they don't have "permits."

Harris had the opportunity to do something, and has the authority to order FEMA agents to act differently, but she chose to exploit the situation for publicity, then leave and otherwise ignore them. She then went on to pay Beyonce $10,000,000 to speak for 5 minutes.

That deserves to be criticized.

Her campaign continues to claim a good economy and job market, when inflation and cost of living has peaked, and just this month, their policies actually have officially led to one of the worst employment outcomes the United States has seen since the Great Depression, disproportionately affecting low-income workers.

That deserves to be criticized.

She has a bad track record during her time in the judicial system for the way her actions harshly affected underprivileged people, especially Jamal Trulove, who was terribly wronged.

That deserves to be criticized.

Furthermore, the reason FEMA/the government does not have money for Appalachia is for a few reasons, all of which were ordered, facilitated or allowed by the current administration:

1) we've sent over $100 BILLION to the IDF so they can keep blowing up hospitals and kindergartens,

2) we sent $175 BILLION to Zelensky so he can keep sending young men into violent deaths even if its against their will,

3) we just sent $100+ million to Lebanon even after the hurricane crisis, meaning the federal government explicitly chose to prioritize foreign aid over its own people,

4) money was taken directly from FEMA reserves for crises like ours, and used as part of a whopping $150,000,000,000 spent on mass migration — including free flights, a $20 million welcome center with a free-use "game room" with dozens of Xboxes plus free food/lodging, and in NY, an average of $1400 prepaid debit card per individual each month.

Meanwhile, Appalachians get a one-time $750 per family, and if you have insurance to cover anything, it's a LOAN you have to pay back (many "fact-checkers" are claiming this is false when its literally in the FEMA eligibility statement). Many of the independent line workers FEMA hired for repairs are reporting they have not been paid AT ALL since starting.

In other words, the money that was specifically reserved for saving lives in times of crisis was spent on video games and free money handouts.

That, holy hell, deserves to be criticized.

Secondly, I want to address the message itself.

I realize that a lot of the american tumblr userbase is 1) people young enough that they're still partially financially dependent on parents and/or 2) are, like most of the US statistically, earning middle-class incomes, and live in fairly population-dense environments.

Most people outside the US, on the other hand, are getting their perceptions of life, politics, etc in the US from the posts/narratives of people within the aforementioned groups, popular culture, and their own local media, so their perspective is often quite limited, to no fault of their own. I'm sure my perspective of life in other countries is also very limited.

Most of you live in places other than where I live, and live very different lives from mine. As humans, we are naturally prone to subconsciously assuming the lives of others are not too different from our own, and do not naturally stop to consider how various factors might affect people's lives and decisions.

We are social beings, prone to adopting the beliefs of others who have the same experiences and thereby the same limited perspectives as us, especially in ideologically homogenous environments.

However, I have just as much of a voice as anyone else.

My hope is that I can use my words and experience to foster empathy for one another between different people in a very polarized climate at a very tense time.

I'm originally from a fairly rural community of about 8,000 people, largely low-income, low-education, evangelical blue-collar workers and farmers, in the Bible Belt.

It is well-known that this demographic overwhelmingly voted for Trump. I don't deny that. I visit home a lot, I see the yard signs everywhere, flags hanging from pickup trucks and farm fenceposts, lots of red hats.

There is a reason for that.

The administration of the past four years has utterly destroyed many rural, low-income communities.

It caused a huge spike in job layoffs, leading to homelessness, drug abuse, hunger and poverty for many already low-income people, and for select communities, violent crime.

I'm fortunate enough to have had parents better off than most of the community, but I'm self-sufficient now, and I am in the bottom 20% of incomes in the US, even with a degree. I could write endless paragraphs on how hard it is to get by, but to summarize for the sake of shortening — it's very, very rough.

Everything has become drastically more expensive, very rapidly over the course of a few years. Groceries are 3x their 2021 prices. I had to get a guarantor for a one-bedroom apartment.

Many rural families resort to drastic measures to get by. Small farmers are being financially strangled out of their way of life.

The actions of the Biden-Harris administration is the reason a huge portion of my extended family was laid off and now face total destitution, as there are simply no jobs left available.

The Biden-Harris border and crime policies are responsible for the brutal rape of a significant number of women and girls in this geographic region. Statistically, these rapes have quadrupled compared to the previous administration.

A woman was raped and stabbed to death about a mile from where I live.

Our nearby neighbor, a cow farmer back home, was attacked on his own property.

I have personally faced multiple instances of sexual harassment and aggression, some of which were very frightening. I know other girls nearby experienced the same or worse.

Alcoholism and hard drugs due to the spike in unemployment and poverty has ruined many lives, and help is often hard to access in rural regions.

A woman my mom was acquainted with ended her own life in 2023 because her children were taken from her due to her drug addiction and poverty. People I played with on the church playground as kids are now unemployed heroin addicts.

I've watched my mom driven to tears after realizing how drastically her income tax increased, and how little she has left after them despite working around the clock.

All of these can be traced back to the policies and actions of the current administration, and the current Harris-Walz platform's proposals will drastically increase it all — largely voted for by people who live in economic situations and locations as such that they are fairly unaffected by these consequences, so they may not understand how it affects these people.

I could write endless paragraphs of all the people I know who have been at best negatively affected, at worst utterly ruined, by the current administration.

Since I have the unique background of understanding these people whilst having more liberal values as an individual, with a broad range of people I interact with now, I have tried to have discussions on this over the last year or so, in real life and virtually. I believed that raising awareness would make people on the left-leaning side empathize with them, and inspire dialogue to work to implement ways to account for the concerns and needs of the rural poor, and incorporate that into their existing proposals.

I was incorrect. I've been very polite and respectful in how I address others in these discussions. In the vast majority of interactions, I was not given the same in return.

A few were receptive, which I appreciate, but in most of my experiences, the same group that is known for encouraging empathy, apparently doesn't apply that philosophy to people they dislike — no matter how I presented it, they immediately rushed to demonize, censor, humiliate, shame and gaslight me, and expressed callous apathy at best, if not active contempt, for my people.

They say "that doesn't happen," and I think they genuinely believe that due to limited perspective — but the reality is that they're simply in a position of privilege as such that it isn't happening to them.

Similarly, what you have to understand is that from the perspective of many rural people in red areas, their experience is that more privileged people inflicted this suffering on them by voting for it, then silence and shame them for speaking out about it.

Likewise, they also have a limited perspective — for them, the issue I see is that they adamantly believe the "other side" is already well-aware of the effects their choices have on others. I don't think this is true, I think many on the other end are unaware of these issues.

This dual lack of understanding creates mutual resentment and bitterness, which fuels tension.

I will say that trying to explain how girls in my community were assaulted or my own harassment, only to have it spammed with replies along the lines of "don't care" or "deserved" or calling me a liar, seeing posts mocking or wishing harm on people like my family accumulate tens of thousands of likes, having people I care about referred to as "trailer trash," passive-aggressive statements implying I'm too unattractive for a man to harass — this, along with other distasteful actions I've seen, has pushed me away from the left as a community, and I don't think that's unreasonable.

Similarly, labeling people you know nothing about as bad people, without making any effort to understand their circumstances or what they actually believe and why, will drive people away and make them resentful.

My community is multiracial, women are highly valued in southern culture for various reasons, and they themselves are marginalized and underprivileged. They're kind people who have been good to me.

I haven't really met any people who are hateful, nor is hate the reason for their votes — they're all voting as they do because they are scared, exhausted, grieving and desperate. A lot of people in the area never voted before, but are now registering to vote in droves because they feel their backs are against the wall, so to speak.

Moreover, Orange Man himself redirected $14 million dollars to Appalachia, continues to raise awareness for them in speeches, and Musk, who is associated with him, has a team working to help Appalachians. He's also the only noteworthy figure that has acknowledged certain issues affecting them.

They realize that the situation in Appalachia could just as easily be them in the future, that they'd be given the same treatment.

This has resulted in a lot of rural poor people feeling that he cares more for their lives, compared to Biden/Harris who more or less neglected them. Which, considering that, is a fairly reasonable conclusion on their end.

Finally, it is true that blue voters tend to be in favor of abolishing or ruining crucial aspects of our way of life that, I say this politely, they do not fully understand, while the people here want to preserve their way of life.

So, while I have more liberal values that differ from most people back home, I don't believe they are bad people. They are reacting very reasonably to the circumstances they're in.

All I ask of others is to consider, no matter where you are or what beliefs you align with, and no matter what happens tomorrow, that the "other side" to your own may not be the evil people you have been led to believe they are, but are humans whose lives are simply different from yours, and they are acting in accordance to their experiences, circumstances, and fears.

The growing trend of demonizing political opposition with no attempt at empathy, only creates more pain in the world. I hope this has helped to foster better understanding, and that people can be kind to one another.

That is all I wanted to say.

[cinnamonest]

hope u and your loved ones are okay :( wishing you and everyone affected the best ❤️

Sorry for the delay in responses and posting, I was in the hospital (again) (and unrelated to the flood, just an issue that hadn't subsided from the last visit last week).

If you have money to give I would very much prefer it go to the people who need it much more than I ever could, there's donation links here.

To be honest I am not okay on a psychological level. The whole thing has me so angry.

Now that I'm back to normal and out and about, I've heard so many horror stories from the grapevine. So many people are missing, and at this point families are having to accept that missing people aren't coming back if they haven't already.

The financial aid is a disgrace, and as aforementioned, the FEMA people are impeding help and otherwise just loafing around. We just want them gone.

Then as for the two people whose literal job is caring for this country — POTUS said like a day after the incident, on camera, "they're happy, they've gotten everything they need" while we still had people dying of dehydration on their rooftops and countless families left homeless.

Harris showed up, took a publicity photoshoot holding some donation items, then left to go drink beer on an uppity talk show like she's channelling the spirit of Nero himself.

This has been one of the most grotesque acts of US presidential negligence and dishonesty in some time, and once more of these people start getting internet access again I have no doubt a lot more will be exposed.

Now the people are just left to pick up the pieces by themselves and start over. The media has largely moved on already, and every major news outlet has drastically downplayed just how bad the destruction is. Some people on social media are celebrating it. I had to unsubscribe from an environment conservation group I followed because they published a newsletter literally lying about FEMA. It all feels so deliberate.

Bush was dragged through the mud for the rest of his career for his response to Katrina in 2005, yet he did far more and responded far more quickly. Our current leaders can wait 48 hours to acknowledge the situation, do essentially nothing, and no one seems to care, no one is holding them accountable.

I'm just very angry and having trouble moving on with life. Those two have already brought so much suffering to my community the past few years, then this happens and they can't even do a good job of pretending to care.

And I can't really do anything about any of it, which makes it worse, it festers. This bitterness is a feeling I would not wish on anyone.

[cinnamonest]

I know the smut fanfiction blog is probably not the best place for awareness posting, but this is my only real outlet and I'd like to share what's happening regarding the storm.

My area was affected by Helene — I woke up a little over a week ago at 4 am from the storm, to no power and standing water within my apartment.

The area where I live now was not hit too badly, so everything is back to normal for me now, and obviously I have power and internet again.

But the same is not true for many people near where I'm originally from. This storm has completely devastated Appalachia.

A village that was like a second home to me is gone. Every single building in the village is either underwater or decimated, and some of its residents are missing.

People in the surrounding area are desperately trying to reach family and friends — whole areas have essentially gone radio silence with no cellular data, even now almost two weeks after.

Many Appalachians have lost literally everything, including family, pets, and homes. The region is heavily reliant on orchards, livestock and tourism, so many livelihoods have been swept away. This area also already had a major poverty issue to begin with, so many had very little, and now literally have nothing but the clothes on their back.

Moreover, the handling of this situation by federal administration has been disgraceful and negligent, if not outright malicious.

Any acknowledgement at all was absurdly delayed, and the financial aid being given is the disaster response equivalent of a band-aid on a severed artery.

The FEMA people are present (sometimes), but they don't do anything, they just stand there and occasionally harass people for taking photos or loitering in parking lots. If anything, they are dedicating most of their time to delaying incoming resources and actively impeding independent rescue efforts. All while we have corpses strewn up in trees and people still trapped in their homes.

But for those looking to help, or if you are affected by Helene and need help, Appvoices has a page full of resources for those who need them and verified donation organizations that can reach those in need.

It is going to be a long road to recovery. This is a beautiful region filled with wonderful, strong people, please keep them in your hearts ❤️

[cinnamonest]

Not that he's satisfied enough to stop yet. You squeeze your eyes shut, but you can feel his gaze trail over your body once more, you tense as his fingers slowly trail down your body, his skin on your skin leaving a lasting feeling against your nerves even as the touch itself passes. He pauses just a moment to squeeze your tits again, but quickly resumes slowly brushing his hand down your body, tracing over the curve of your waist and hips.

Slow enough to torment you, because it's not as if you don't know where it's going, given he's moving downward again. You stiffen when you feel those fingers brush against your mound again, pausing for just a second — perhaps just to savor the way you tense with trepidation — before sliding over the folds again, coating his fingers, lazily rubbing circles into your clit with his thumb. He leans down, nuzzling his face between your breasts.

But this time, you jolt hard when his fingers ram inside of you.

You feel his mouth smile against your skin at the gasp for air through your nostrils, the way you squirm. You swallow and try to steady your breaths, anything to avoid giving him the satisfaction of these reactions you know he wants, the very reason he's doing this to you to begin with.

Only because you were so mean. Because you said you didn't need him, that he had no power over you.

You, of course, meant it in the social sense, the dynamics of power between two people, the fact that he clearly wanted you, and that that gave you more power over him than he had over you.

But you suppose you shouldn't have expected a man to take it that way. Thus the statement seems absurd to him — look at how easily he was able to drag you off, wrestle you to the ground, pick you up and throw you over his shoulder just to bring you back home, and all your struggling couldn't even make him stumble. It's amusing that you even thought it would go any other way.

And if that didn't make you understanding, this surely should. Having you so vulnerable and completely at his mercy, forcing all these reactions out of you. You're so silly, to say something like that. If this isn't power over you, what is?

And for you to think that desire for you was any match for the unforgiving reality of brute force... well, that's your own fault. But it's okay. Your lack of self-awareness of how weak you are is cute.

And now your back is arching and your face contorting and your thighs trembling every time he curls his fingers. Your breathing grows more and more labored.

But you're not squirming hard enough, and you're clearly clenching your jaw to avoid making any vocal noises. How disappointing. If you had just reacted as much as you should have, he wouldn't have to go any further.

You outright writhe when his mouth latches onto your nipple, the way his tongue rubs circles over the sensitive flesh, the suckling motion has you throwing your head back, unable to contain the slight whimpers.

Still not loud enough, though. There's a pop when his mouth detaches, you open your eyes just enough to see him reach the hand formerly latched onto your hip up to his mouth, coating the middle and ring finger with slick saliva before that hand too moves downward, but your vision is cut off when he dips his head back down to suckle on your tits again.

But you don't have to wonder what he's doing for long — you tense and draw another sharp breath in when you feel the slick-coated fingers brush up against your asshole, pressing up against the tight ring of muscle.

That gets the reaction he wanted. Finally you squeal, start squirming so hard — and when he bites down on your poor nipple to ensure it doesn't slip out of his mouth, you make the cutest little sound.

But your protesting doesn't make him reconsider it or anything. The dread beforehand just makes it more satisfying to push the fingers in, feeling you clench down, hearing you whimper from the humiliation and stimulation alike. So cute. You brought it on yourself anyway.

And at that point, your will to resist is too shattered to go on any longer. You give into the instinctive urges, to squeal, to whimper, to writhe and squirm and give him all the vulnerability and submission he wanted from you. One hand curling its fingers over and over, the other rapidly pumping back and forth, all while his mouth stays glued to your tits, only disrupted by the movement as he starts to rut his hips into the mattress.

It doesn't even take long to get an orgasm out of you. You put up some resistance, what little you have left, but the sensation is too strong and it happens anyway and it's so intense you arch your back and God you can hear that goddamn smug laugh and feel his smile against your flesh and you want so badly to hit him, to lash out at him, but all you can do is squeeze your eyes shut and whimper.

You would think that would be enough. That he can't possibly embarrass you further, that that's the most reaction he could get out of you anyway, that it would satiate him — but the motions don't stop. His fingers keep moving against your insides, now so tender and sensitive that the stimulation is painful it's so intense, and you struggle so hard, squeal so loud, it's so cute.

Nothing short of completely degrading you to the lowest point possible is going to be good enough for him — that's what you realize, when you open your eyes, catch his face through your tear-blurred vision. The expression on his face as his eyes lock with yours makes your stomach churn. Amused, satisfied, and absolutely reveling in seeing just how deep your humiliation can go — an experiment he's perfectly prepared to spend a very long time seeing to completion.

Thinking about the humiliation ritual of being spread apart and gawked at. Just… looking, touching. Nothing intense or rough, even though you almost wish it was, anything other than this torment.

It's uncomfortable physically, not just mentally. Your wrists and ankles bound to the headboard, your legs pulled so far back your knees nearly touch your shoulders, spread wide open as you writhe on your back.

The lights are on. They're bright. They leave nothing obscured from view, nowhere to hide from any sense of shame.

You wish you were blindfolded, so you at least didn't have to see the scene playing out in front of you. But unfortunately, he decided your mouth was the only thing that had to be covered, leaving you unable to spew any spiteful words at him, only able to make the little sounds he enjoys with each touch.

You see how intensely he stares at you, completely exposed and vulnerable. You can trace the line of his sight, clearly distinguish each part of your body his eyes progressive fixate on, one after another. He likes how you squirm, how you're so clearly embarrassed, but so helpless to do anything about it.

It would be easier if he was doing something more. It would feel less vulnerable if he were inside you, even, the movement and heat of the moment at least creating a sort of distraction, interruption from the violation of his gaze.

Said gaze fixates on you breasts, the darker coloration, the way your nipples poke out so cutely from the chill of the exposure. You tense up and shudder when he pinches at them. Cute.

You shudder when he spreads you apart with his thumbs. Somewhere between fascination and arousal and awe. He just hasn't ever had the opportunity to see it up close, he says. To really take in the details.

Him feeling the need to comment makes it even more unbearable. The folds and the shape of it all, it's really pretty, aesthetic in a way that's difficult to articulate, he says. Feels like it's some sort of adornment, leading down to the slit — he says this as you feel his thumb slide into you, marveling at the way he can see you clench and spasm. He never realized how visible the clenching is, he's usually got his head down close to the crook of your neck when he's balls deep in you. He'll have to pay more attention from now on.

Look at how the fleshy part of your hips pokes out between his fingers when he grabs you. The way you shudder when his fingers trail over the folds — and the slick fluid that forms a trail connecting each finger as he spread them apart in front of your face. Just to make sure you get a good look at what your body is doing.

But beyond the fingers spread in front of your face, you can see that smug grin on his face, one that fills you with such rage that you can't help the tears that leak out of your eyes, can't help but snarl and jerk at the restraint, even though you know such a reaction only pleases him, encourages him.

And it does — you see the smile get wider, the soft laugh before he leans forward and kisses your forehead… and then, you jolt as you feel the awful wet sensation on the side of your face as he wipes the fingers off on your flesh, coating you with your own fluids.

You actually jerk your leg to the side hard enough to get a good heel-bash on his shoulder — but that too only makes him smile further.

What an wonderful new way to torment you, he's discovered. Your reactions only ensure that this won't be the only time.

[cinnamonest]

Thinking about the humiliation ritual of being spread apart and gawked at. Just… looking, touching. Nothing intense or rough, even though you almost wish it was, anything other than this torment.

It's uncomfortable physically, not just mentally. Your wrists and ankles bound to the headboard, your legs pulled so far back your knees nearly touch your shoulders, spread wide open as you writhe on your back.

The lights are on. They're bright. They leave nothing obscured from view, nowhere to hide from any sense of shame.

You wish you were blindfolded, so you at least didn't have to see the scene playing out in front of you. But unfortunately, he decided your mouth was the only thing that had to be covered, leaving you unable to spew any spiteful words at him, only able to make the little sounds he enjoys with each touch.

You see how intensely he stares at you, completely exposed and vulnerable. You can trace the line of his sight, clearly distinguish each part of your body his eyes progressive fixate on, one after another. He likes how you squirm, how you're so clearly embarrassed, but so helpless to do anything about it.

It would be easier if he was doing something more. It would feel less vulnerable if he were inside you, even, the movement and heat of the moment at least creating a sort of distraction, interruption from the violation of his gaze.

Said gaze fixates on you breasts, the darker coloration, the way your nipples poke out so cutely from the chill of the exposure. You tense up and shudder when he pinches at them. Cute.

You shudder when he spreads you apart with his thumbs. Somewhere between fascination and arousal and awe. He just hasn't ever had the opportunity to see it up close, he says. To really take in the details.

Him feeling the need to comment makes it even more unbearable. The folds and the shape of it all, it's really pretty, aesthetic in a way that's difficult to articulate, he says. Feels like it's some sort of adornment, leading down to the slit — he says this as you feel his thumb slide into you, marveling at the way he can see you clench and spasm. He never realized how visible the clenching is, he's usually got his head down close to the crook of your neck when he's balls deep in you. He'll have to pay more attention from now on.

Look at how the fleshy part of your hips pokes out between his fingers when he grabs you. The way you shudder when his fingers trail over the folds — and the slick fluid that forms a trail connecting each finger as he spread them apart in front of your face. Just to make sure you get a good look at what your body is doing.

But beyond the fingers spread in front of your face, you can see that smug grin on his face, one that fills you with such rage that you can't help the tears that leak out of your eyes, can't help but snarl and jerk at the restraint, even though you know such a reaction only pleases him, encourages him.

And it does — you see the smile get wider, the soft laugh before he leans forward and kisses your forehead… and then, you jolt as you feel the awful wet sensation on the side of your face as he wipes the fingers off on your flesh, coating you with your own fluids.

You actually jerk your leg to the side hard enough to get a good heel-bash on his shoulder — but that too only makes him smile further.

What an wonderful new way to torment you, he's discovered. Your reactions only ensure that this won't be the only time.

[cinnamonest]

yandere cinnamonest headcanons pls

It's funny you say this because I was recently talking to my sister about how I need a slightly younger guy and she asked why and as I started going down my list of reasons I said "I want to feel like I own everything about him completely, your early 20s are like a really important time, if I can't own that I'll never feel like he's really mine" and it wasn't until she looked at me like this in dead silence that I realized that that might not have been the most Normal Person thing to say

[cinnamonest]

gaahhhh imagine gf reader trying to calm delinquent childe and get him to NOT traumatize and scar new boys coming to their school or later when in college when they need to interact with others more by being as nice and sweet as possible and giving him want he wants (attention, pussy and love). And they almost get like this bartering system and it doesn't help when childe slowly gets a hint that she might be trying to protect these guys- in which case, comes the step of trying to placate him again and convince him this is for his sake and not theirs after getting her own ass beaten by him and fucked to the point she thinks of amping the Pill intake or smthng

(Follow-up to this post)

I’ve been thinking about that AU again for a while, hear me out

Because, see, once you become “official,” he somehow gets worse, something you wouldn’t have even thought possible.

Your life doesn't actually change that much, it’s more that his presence just becomes so utterly and completely inescapable. You used to at least be able to retreat to the comfort of home after school, now you don’t even have that — he’s either forcing his way into your house or dragging you back to his, depending on which has the parents gone, so you can do stuff… or if neither works, he’ll drive you off to some of the nearby abandoned, empty parking lots instead.

He's very vocal about what he now perceives as an “official” relationship. Very touchy in public, even in a school setting. His actual behaviors don't change much — he still steals your things and dangles them over your head, startles you with loud noises, taunts you and humiliates you at every opportunity… now he just does it with extra enthusiasm, like it makes him even more excited than it did before. And you like it, he knows you do. And at this point you've given up on getting the cigarette stench out of everything you own — your clothes, your bed, your car, even your hair. Ugh.

But he becomes so very on-edge, far more aggressive than ever before towards the rest of the male student populace. He’s definitely got a major cheating paranoia, like so many young guys, where he’s so ready to jump to that conclusion over everything. You didn’t respond to him for a while, what were you doing? Why are you smiling at your phone, who are you talking to?

Before, he was a source of frustration and anger and misery, but you never really felt scared the way he often makes you feel now. He was mean, a bully, but he was smiley and clearly deriving amusement from it — a contrast to the sudden serious glare and cold, dark tone and expression when he gets mad, when he grabs you so hard you can’t pull away and demands a minute-by-minute play of the day for the duration of time he couldn’t be glued to your side. It takes an alarming amount of reassurance to calm him down.

You do essentially end up bartering with sex. If you’re lucky, and he’s not too upset, you can just distract him from whatever is making him mad with kisses and smiles and a few reassuring words. But in most cases, you’ll at least have to take your clothes off to really appease him and calm him down, and usually have to spend the rest of the day giving him your completely undivided attention. Giving him lots of cuddles and kisses and pussy and head and affection and all that, just for him, to prove you really only care about him, no interruptions. Even answering texts from your friends and family will have him scowling and sulking again. Why are they more important to you than he is? Do you really even care about him at all, when you’re so easily distracted?

And oh, the moment you try and defend some poor boy, have the audacity to try and get him to not hurt someone, it’s over for you. Nothing sets him off faster.

Rather, it comes in stages — he gets mad, hauls you off somewhere alone if you’re in front of people, holds you by the jaw as you struggle and writhe and asks in some mixture of bewilderment and frustration why you’re doing that. Why would you be upset that he’s protecting you? Why are you mad at him for beating them up? Do you care about them? If you don’t like them, why concern yourself with what happens to them?

If you keep reassuring him, he’ll calm down, but if you keep insisting that he can’t be violent, he gets whiny, petulant, grumbly… and most importantly, he just ignores you and does what he wants anyway. Even if it upsets you, it’s not like that's going to stop him. He just blows off anything you say, completely inconsiderate of your feelings on things.

Even then, sometimes, the situation gets bad. Times where you can’t just calm him down, because you did something exceptionally bad — you fell asleep and didn’t answer him for hours, or you very clearly talked to that guy, he knows, he heard the whole thing, or someone told him (at this point, some of the other students have started telling him they saw you talking to someone or hugging some guy or something to set him off for their own amusement).

Those incidents are the worst — late-night explosive episodes where you’re interrogated on why you spoke with someone or the texts on your phone, as you flail and whimper and claw at the hand on your neck while you desperately try to defend yourself. Those are the times where you genuinely start to feel scared. But even then, with enough effort and appeasing and sex, it’s resolvable... though you may end up with some bruises across your body, or in a few cases, your neck and face... you can just both skip school and stay in bed all day until it's gone. Other people would get the wrong idea if they saw it, they wouldn't understand. As long as you comply with what he wants, it's easily resolved.

Until, one day, you cross a line.

You're just so sick of it all, deep into yet another long argument over him really badly hurting some poor kid who did nothing wrong, and in the frustration of the moment, the words come out of your mouth.

You say you’re leaving him. That you want to break up.

You regret your words, of course, the second they leave your mouth. Even before you see the stages of reaction play out on his face — a second or two of blinking in dumbfounded, blank shock, and the way his expression turns dark — you feel your gut twist in panic.

And you try to sputter out some apology, to backtrack, to say you didn’t mean it, but your feet have already left the ground, you’re already flailing and grasping at the hand wrapped around your throat and hoisting you into the air, before you can even get a full sentence out.

You don’t get to do that to me.

His grip gets tighter with those words. It’s quiet and cold — you’re pretty sure it’s the first time you’ve ever heard him speak quietly, for that matter, but you're too preoccupied with panic to reflect on that.

But you don’t mean it. He knows that. You just said something stupid because you wanted to make him mad. You just wanted to get his attention. You’re being manipulative, trying to control him with threats. You’re being a really bad girlfriend.

You don’t mean it. You’re not being serious. You just said it to get a reaction.

Right?

And see, you nod so vigorously, and you even have tears streaming down your face as you choke and gag. You must feel guilty for saying something so mean. Everyone says things they regret in arguments, right? Just the heat of the moment makes people say stupid things. But as long as you feel guilty, he can forgive you.

You crumple forward on shaky legs when you’re dropped down, more of less falling into him, hands grasping at his shirt — how cute, you’re trying to get reassurance now. You stiffen and shiver at the embrace you’re enveloped by, the arms that wrap around your frame.

...You know, you'll need to figure out something for your neck. It’s already starting to bruise, and it’s very clearly marks from fingers wrapped around… you’ll have to cover it up, you wouldn’t want your parents thinking he’s a bad person or anything.

But’s okay. He’s mature enough to forgive you and move on. And so long as you give him more attention and makeup sex all night, he’ll pretend it didn’t happen… for his own sake too. Just never ever ever say something like that again, and he won't hurt you... not too badly, at least.

[cinnamonest]

Thinking about very well-endowed boys, perhaps endowed a little too much for their own good — with no idea how to properly use the thing.

No self-awareness, no experience. The moment you give a green light, this man just shoves his way in like a battering ram. You were at least expecting some degree of foreplay or buildup, but you don't get that. He has the audacity to tilt his head and hm?when you jolt and hiss.

Oh. It hurts you? You probably just didn't relax enough. That's okay. You'll feel better soon. You don't even get time to tell him that it's because he has no self-awareness of his size before you're tensing up and gasping again when it just slides out and slams back in. You see stars, and not in a good way.

You stutter out something about being too big. But big is good, right? That's what he's always heard. So it's just a matter of you getting to adjust. That'll definitely happen as he goes. No worries.

You're pretty sure your cervix hates you for making the decision to sleep with this boy, a choice you're sort of coming to regret as you find yourself pulled close to him with a harsh grip on your waist — that, too, is something he seems lacking self-awareness of, the fact that he's probably literally going to leave little bruises all along your waist.

It does feel a bit better as he moves and your body adjusts, insides expanding to allow more room… but no matter how much you do, it's not fully enough. You can still acutely feel him inside, the way it bulges and pushes against your walls, the friction as it drags back and forth, the way even at the peak of your own arousal, the tip keeps slamming into that so painfully sensitive spot. Even your toys never touched that part, you weren't even aware until now that you possessed the capacity to feel it so acutely.

At least when you tell him, he apologizes, says it won't happen again… but he seems far more pleased by the ego boost of this, apparently new to him, information. You get the sense that it will, in fact, happen again.

And it does. You blame yourself, honestly, for finding yourself in this situation again, but he's just so cute… only this time, you quickly find that being on your stomach makes it infinitely worse, and his hand on the back of your head, unintentionally shoving your face into the pillow and muffling your attempts to tell him to slow down, does not help.

God, why did you let it come to this… your thoughts are barely coherent from the sheer overwhelming sensation, your brain practically short-circuiting, unable to do anything but process the feeling.

But it stretches you out so good and presses against the good spot too, so unfortunately, you end up with admittedly one of the strongest orgasms of your life, spasming and squirting and making the lewdest of sounds. So, it clearly was good, this is reassuring for him, positive reinforcement. He's too occupied with basking in pride with this accomplishment to notice your groaning at first — but don't worry, once he does notice, he'll dote on you, of course. He cares about you very deeply, you know.

And later, you're still feeling the involuntarily spasms as your poor abused hole tries to adjust to the slight gape left behind, and here he is passed out beside you so blissfully. The bastard gets to just pretend like he didn't try to impale you from the inside.

He really does try. He cares about you, you know. He doesn't want it to hurt. It's just, you know, he doesn't really do a lot of thinking in that moment, and unfortunately, his brain just commands him to breed and he can't think about anything else, so, it's his brain's fault, not his fault. Yes of course those are two different things. Besides, you're the one that enticed him, so, realistically, you must take responsibility as well.

But no matter how many times you say it, he seems to simply get lost in the ego boost and then he... forgets. And admittedly, you too seem to consistently keep coming back, against your better judgement.

He forgets when he has both hands locked into your hair, wrapped around your head, so lost in the wet, warm feeling that he's jerking your head like it's some kind of toy — your jaw hurts, every thrust feels like it's going to tear your throat apart, and it goes so far down that you're fighting your gag reflex every single second. And worst of all, you can't tell him to stop, can't get a word out when his cock is relentlessly pounding your skull.

He just forgot. He forgets when he flips you onto your front side and pulls your hips up, forgets that you said that position is the absolute worst because of how deep it goes — but see, from his perspective, it feels best because he gets to fully bottom out inside, and it’s just so good, you wouldn't understand.

He forgets when he's got his arms wrapped around you, laying on your sides as you're railed like his life depends on it, far too harshly and with far too little warning, but you can't pause the lewd nosies and squeals long enough, and your only attempts to tell him to slow down and not go so deep are so slurred you can't even blame him for not understanding.

He forgets you said how sore you are, how you need one day off at least. You just look so nice, and you didn't say anything (you retort that you didn't get the time, dammit) when he started, so he wasn't thinking, and besides, he was very gentle this time, aren't you proud of him for learning how to not go so hard?

He really does try. When you're walking all funny and clutching your lower stomach and grimacing in pain, he's got this heating pad and bottle of painkillers he bought just for you, and he's quick to pull it out. He really cares about you! Besides, the faster you recover, the sooner you'll stop being mad and glaring at him (it hurts his feelings, this is important), and the sooner you'll get to have sex again (he depends on it now, this is in large part due to your actions, so you have some responsibility to take).

He's even learned how to roll his hips so smoothly, thanks to you, and now it shouldn't hurt so much… now it's less of an earth-shattering jolt of pain, and more of a gentle pain, you know, like poking a bruise. But hey, that's improvement.

[cinnamonest]

What if Darling is the one trying to control her partner? She’s an overly naive and self-assured girl who suddenly decides she wants to mess with the feelings of an attractive man. She’ll try to manipulate, intimidate, and gaslight him until he breaks.

I’m dying how I want to see that sweet surprise in her eyes when she realizes she was the victim all along. A good, kind man suddenly shows his true face. He endured all her abuse just to trap her. How ironic!

Maybe it’ll be Zhongli - charming and courteous but actually hiding a creepy dark side. Or Childe - a guy who hides a lot of dark desires behind a carefree smile.

AAAAAAAAAAAAA anon this is stewing in my brain, because imagine Morax in his peak era when he would come down amongst the humans...

Some manipulative foreigner girl who travels from place to place, manipulating and bleeding men dry for as long as you stay there, only to disappear and go on to somewhere else once you've gotten everything he has. Never wanting to commit, always wanting more.

Men essentially take care of your travel expenses too — it's easy to use them for free lodging, food, and so on. You rarely pay for anything in life, other than the luxuries you get yourself with their money.

So when you arrive, you latch onto the first attractive stranger you see on the street, and he's more than receptive. He finds you endearing. It's very easy. You just notice the positive reception and immediately lay on the flirtation much thicker, and soon enough you're walking arm in arm around the harbor to show you around... in truth, you've been here before, but playing the clueless foreigner role always endears you to men, and it boosts their ego to feel like they're knowledgeable and helpful.

He falls for your tactics so easily, so it seems. Going along with whatever you want, immediately trying to placate you when you're mean and cold, bending to your will when you insinuate that you'll leave if he doesn't do this or that.

And he has so much money. You weren't expecting to score this lucky. You're not even sure where he's getting it from, it seems like he just keeps pulling it out of nowhere. Every time you even look at something, he's already pulling out more to buy it for you, all day long, until you go back to get a place at a nearby inn.

Of course, it's mutually understood and unspoken that with these sorts of exchanges, he's supposed to get sex out of it. That much you're willing to give, it would admittedly be difficult even for you to keep extracting money from men if you didn't at least put out eventually.

Often times it's disappointing, but thankfully this one is good in bed too. You feel like you couldn't get any luckier.

He feels the same way. Who would have thought that the same girl that all those used, discarded, distraught men pleaded about in prayers to their god, would show up yet again in this place, and such convenient timing too.

You've caused a good deal of both financial ruin and heartbreak alike, and he doesn't take too well to your promiscuity either. It would be an injustice to allow you to simply get away without due punishment.

Keeping you works out well. Those men who wanted revenge will at least have their prayers answered, you will be unable to wreck any more lives, and he gets a little gem in the rough, so to speak. Something that just has to be broken apart and fixed with enough effort, slowly worked into something perfect to own. It's more fun that way.

So he stays silent when you suddenly disappear, when you turn cold, when you brush him off. It's actually both good and bad for you— usually they get so angry, so it's good he wasn't too attached, but the pitiful ones usually let you extract just a bit more in hopes of getting you back, and you're actually rather frustrated when he just lets you leave, you huff and go back to your hotel, this time unfortunately having to pay for it.

But then, you're a little bewildered when you wake up somewhere different than where you fell asleep, somewhere you're unfamiliar with. You panic when you find yourself bound to the bed by a chain on your ankle. You panic worse when you see him looking over you, that malevolent grin — did he always have those teeth?

Yes, it's so adorable when your eyes well up with tears. He did like you in the first place for how cute you are, after all. You'll be a lot cuter when you cry — something he'll have plenty of opportunities to watch in the very near future.

[cinnamonest]

thoughts about razor with a spoiled brat darling? she would def complain about it more than other darlings, having to adjust from a lavish lifestyle to living in the woods will be v hard on her, no survival skills whatsoever because she's used to having everything handed to her on a silver platter. i imagine razor having to do everything himself because she squeaks at the sight at even a small bug. also, since wealthy families take highly of their childs virginity cause it's symbol of status or smth like that, imagine how darling feels when he mates with her for the first time. she would be crying and hyperventilating about how he ruined her and that her family will be so angry at her for getting impregnated by a peasant.. meanwhile razor is daydreaming about her cute belly and all the pups they're gonna have <3 

as for how they met.. idk, she probably decided to travel to monstadt and saw him wandering. treated him as a charity case cause she sees him as a poor orphan boy who can't even spell properly. all of those thoughts are thrown out the window when he kidnaps her though, so now she just feel grossed out by him.

Another very amusing trope is the idea of darling playing with fire, completely unaware of just how much danger you're putting yourself in.

You think you're so benevolent, being nice to this weird boy and his struggle to socially adapt, treating him more like a public display of kindness for your own self-image, praise and recognition from others as such a sweet girl, going out of your way to show him some pity.

Completely unaware of just how much of a threat he is, blind to the intense staring, not realizing you're being sized up as a mate. Not understanding that he isn't just some puppy-like, harmless little thing, that he is very much a danger to you and is more than capable of brute forcing you into anything he wants. That he's mistaking your feigned kindness for genuine affection, and taking it as a step of progression of the mating process. That you take for granted the assumption of how normal people work, how normal people have basic respect for the autonomy and will of others, the capacity for forethought, inhibition, and a fear of consequences, because you'll soon realize he has none of those qualities.

You'll certainly be in for a rude awakening when you're confined to the woods with these literal animals, kept as a chew toy of a mate… the absolute despair when you, as per usual when met with any inconvenience, start throwing around threats involving your family’s status and power, or promising money if he lets you go, only to see the blank stare in his eyes and realize that none of that means anything to him. The cold, sinking feeling in your stomach when the realization hits that what is normally an infallible, surefire means to get you out of any bad situation, isn't going to work this time… you'll just have to come to terms with your fate.

[cinnamonest]

what if albedo has 3 other brothers (per the 4 stages of alchemy) and they all just antagonize rhinedottir like oops you fucked around and found out ❤️ plot twist (not really) they all secretly compete to see who can make her life the worst living hell possible

This is so funny to me like imagine the BETRAYAL. The anguish realizing you didn't just have ONE other creation, you had multiple… it's like those stories where the husband finds out his wife has a secret child from a past era of her life before she met him 💀

Once it becomes clear they have interest in obtaining you, obviously he does everything in his power to get you away, even if it means relocating somewhere else. The absolute menaces persist, but he can handle that… he's incredibly hostile to them, naturally, and would practically fall apart if they ever got their hands on you, so he becomes exponentially more protective, never leaving you alone for a second... but even so, he has to deal with the psychological burden.

It makes him feel less special… now he's all insecure about it. It's amusing because he's usually a pretty mature person, so when he gets petty, it's actually kind of endearing, in a way, because it's so childish. Total cold shoulder, short blunt replies to anything you say, physically distancing himself. He might as well be outright begging for reassurance and attention. Poor thing.

[cinnamonest]

Head empty no thoughts just daydreaming about incel scara with groupmate/project member!reader

Imagine them sitting together in a library. They need to be close to share one screen and go over everything while one or the other does some explaining. And scara is just DISGUSTED by her very clearly, very obviously whorish behavior aka her casually jutting her chest, pouting/biting her lips, getting close to him when she needs to lean, when she bends over away from or next to him, he can see her cleavage if he tries hard enough, or see her skirt ride or her lower back getting exposed and if he moves juuuuust a bit closer he can touch her boobs-

Just outright disgraceful and shameless behavior typical of the female 😤 and no, that's not his boner wdym. And reader is just earnestly trying to understand what he's trying to say because he seems so indifferent and almost looks as if dislikes her.

Ahhh it must be because he's annoyed, this isn't her subject after all. In which case, ALTERNATIVELY- consider CS major scara with darling in some non-STEM field passively calling her dumb and insulting her intelligence whenever they come to "study" because: what? She doesn't know how to install Windows? Ha

Only reason she has a decent gpa is because you don't actually need brains or talent for those art "subjects" and they are more suited to females anyway because it's not like they contribute much to society or are very intelligent, unlike him-

I remember my university had these little rooms in their library that were basically tiny study rooms with a couch and chairs, but like no windows, and were advertised as two-way soundproof to help you study and let me tell you. Y’all. People had sex in those. A lot. It happened a lot.

But the thing is they had no tables with desk-type chairs, only like coffee tables and lounge chairs, so if you wanted to work with someone else on something you kinda had to use the sofa which could be very awkward. Anyway

Oh he's absolutely a STEM snob that looks down on humanities majors. They’re for people with no real skills, who lack the ability to do more important stuff… or God forbid, you're a fine arts major of some kind. Very typical girl stuff, they waste money on useless degrees because they insist on having equally useless jobs. You’re probably going to be a future HR person, getting random guys fired for harmless comments and such.

So he always talks to you in such a condescending way, as if the things he’s explaining are so very obvious or simple that it’s a chore to explain it to you. You need to be aware of how intellectually inferior you are.

Also he’s one of those boys for whom “disgusted” is really just turned on, he lacks the ability to distinguish it — like it’s arousing, but it’s irritating that it’s arousing because he can’t do anything about it, so he identifies that feeling as disgust when it’s really just unbearable levels of sexual frustration compounded with bitterness. Ugh.

And as for you, it has to be intentional. You know what you're doing. It's on purpose. You just think it's funny or amusing to torment someone who can't do anything about it. In a fair world, you'd pay for your actions somehow.

And maybe you're even getting good grades in exchange for "favors." That makes sense, it's the only way that explains how you remain enrolled really. Maybe you'll eventually do the same for him, try to get him to do work for you in exchange for something. Not that that would work, he would never ever enable you like that, and definitely has the self-control necessary to reject you.

There’s something so wrong with how things are, that this situation can even arise, that you’re allowed to waste so much money and time on your dumb degree when you have better uses. He’ll probably go home and make some long vent post to some niche corner of the internet about the woes of having to tolerate this situation. Tragic.

[cinnamonest]

I feel like the "your son's best friend wants to fuck you" trope is right up your alley. Imagine a character non conning their friends mom and telling her not to snitch because it'd be so humiliating for her son

AAAAAAAAAAA ANON, imagine the son just slowly catching onto something being off, he just doesn’t know exactly what. Sure, they were already supposed to meet up after school at his house, but why is his friend here before even he got there…? Why do you always keep your gaze to the ground these days? Why does his friend suddenly have this smug aura about him, always talking down to him? What’s with the weird tension between you two? His friend did do the standard “your mom is hot” comment once (which he quickly hit him for), maybe you heard that and don’t like him now? He just doesn’t know, but he can feel something is wrong.

He has no idea that virtually on a daily basis now, you’re getting bent over your own countertop, railed by this horrible horrible boy who whispers in your ear how much he’d love for your son to walk in right about now. He intentionally pushes it as close as he can to when your son is supposed to get home, trying to get you to panic. Wouldn’t that be hilarious? Imagine the look on his face. The shock and betrayal and fury… and oh how he’d love to gloat about it, tell him just how good his mommy feels, how warm and tight her insides are… maybe if he takes just a bit too long, he’ll get his wish in reality…

[cinnamonest]

Due to its getting really hot outside, im starting to think of yandere boys, using it against their darling. Something tells me that Child gonna be extra annoying about it, clinging to his darling like a koala, despite that the literrally melts from all this extra heat.

(sorry for my bad english btw m(._.)m)

It’s sooooo much funnier with the idea of a Natlan/Sumeru darling, because I feel like Ajax cannot handle hot weather, like have you seen where he comes from? Warm is fine, sure, but actual sweltering, blistering heat, inescapable? It’s torture. It was inconceivable to him until he actually experienced it.

As with most mild inconveniences, though, he takes full advantage of the situation to gain you attention and doting, by being as overdramatic and needy as possible. He’s literally dying. His body isn’t adjusted to the heat, have some pity, you have no idea how horrible this is for him, it’s way worse for him than it is for you. He’s grown up in a cold environment, so, uh, the heat feels even worse on a physical level. That sounds scientifically plausible.

The man is USELESS in this kind of heat. Moping, groaning, whining, laying on the couch or floor as close to naked as you’ll allow for casually roaming the house. Can you please bring him a glass of water, since you’re getting up anyway? No he can’t get it himself, he has to conserve his energy in case something important happens.

But yes, this does not stop him from clinging to you. You try to point out that this will only make him warmer, but that’s different, you see, body heat and air heat are different, because they just are, everyone knows this, shut up about it, you’re saying too many words and he’s too tired to listen anyway…

[cinnamonest]

Uwahhh ty anon <3 I had two other requests for more Xingqiu content as well so please appreciate this thought blurb I've had drafted for a while

Something I've been thinking a lot about is that not only is Xingqiu so incredibly petty and picky and controlling, but it's made so much worse by the fact that he lacks self-awareness of it.

Like, he's always been told by adults that he's oh-so-mature for his age, and he's internalized that, made it part of his internal self-image. Not to mention, becoming a successful author isn't something most teens his age have accomplished either — he feels very “adult,” like he's smarter, more conscientious, more considerate than his peers, and better than them for it too.

And it’s true that most of the time, he usually is all of those things, but this makes him entirely unaware of the ways in which he is, in fact, very much immature.

He's picky. He likes to have things the way he wants them. Part of why he fails to realize how picky he is, is due to the fact that all his life, he's usually had anything he wants handed to him, and anything he finds issue with resolved, and it all comes so easily that he's never considered that perhaps it doesn't go that way for normal people, and that perhaps he wouldn't be quite so agreeable if he was ever told “no,” that his agreeableness and easygoing nature is really just due to the fact that he's never faced with anything to be disagreeable about, a near-total lack of resistance to his will. Even outside his family home, usually waving around money or speaking his father's name is enough to get him what he wants.

And being raised in an environment where he's only ever known a marriage dynamic where one specific partner is completely submissive to the will of the other, he's not even prepared to conceive of anything short of it. After all, his parents arranged the marriage to begin with, surely they would pick someone just as agreeable as his mother.

He likes to pick what you wear each day. When the servants ask what you'd like to eat that day, he answers for you. When people ask questions about you, he answers for you too (although to be fair, in those social circles, they usually direct questions at him anyway, as if you're some animal that can't answer yourself).

He always tells you what you'll be doing, where you'll be going for the day, never asking for your preference — it quite literally simply does not even occur to him that you might have one.

It's not malicious, and he's got that usual cheerful and easygoing demeanor about it all, but it's a clear total disregard for your personhood nonetheless, even if not intentional or conscious.

But you can tell there’s a certain degree of stubbornness in him. It comes out the moment there’s any resistance to his will, when there’s a moment where something can’t go exactly as he wants. It’s never directed at you, at first, since you have done everything in your power to comply, but you notice it coming out towards others — that time one of the family servants had to inform him they didn’t have something he asked for because a shipment was delayed, or when they tried to stop the two of you from leaving because his father needed to speak with him first, so on and so on. The sudden change in expression, tone, body language. Crossed arms and heavy irritated sighs, frustration in his voice — deliberate, a tone he knows will only make the poor family servants that much more apologetic. Maybe he likes feeling that power over them, you think.

The first time he hears no from you, though?

He doesn't even really know how to process it. Just a blank stare of stupor, a few blinks, the usual gentle smile hasn't even faded from his face.

…Huh? Come on, get up, like I said, we're leaving…

He reaches down to grab your arm — and you pull back. You swat his hand away. You cross your arms and clench your jaw and say that word again — no.

And there's a long, long pause.

…What?

You feel his hand wrap around your arm, this time too quick to pull back. He says it again, a tone that's merely confused, not angry, still in a state that's struggling to comprehend your resistance.

What are you doing? I said—

And you interrupt him.

You jerk out of his grasp. You scowl and tell him he can leave, that you're staying home, that you're mad and need time alone. You turn on your heel and start to walk away.

Once again, you feel his hand wrap around your arm.

Only this time, it's harsh.

And this time, it jerks you backward with a force that slings you down onto the ground.

There's a few seconds of silence. You hear his heavy breaths from the exertion of the movement.

You don't get to say something like that.

His words are still not angry, per se. Not harsh, more disbelief, almost intonated like a question.

Likewise, his expression and tone aren't ominously dark like some might be. It's more of a scoff, stubborn and still somewhat baffled. More petulance, rather than outrage.

And there's that same shift in expression and posture — the crossed arms, brows furrowed in disdain.

Really, what's gotten into you?

It's said more quietly, almost like a hissing sort of voice, grumbly, bitter. You're still in too much of a daze from the fall to react beyond a surprised grunt when you're pulled back up onto your feet, a few quick swipes of his hands dusting your off and smoothing our your clothes, only for him to notice a newly-formed tear in the fabric from the harsh movement. You get another exasperated sigh.

Now we'll have to have someone fix that…

This time, you're drug forward with force, a firm grasp on your wrist, a subtle threat that this time you ought not pull back.

And this time, as your feet stumbled forward in compliance, your obedience is clearly a source of satisfaction, based on the shift in his expression, the soft hum of contentment. Now that you, like everyone else, have bent to his will, as everything does with enough pushing.

It's good that whatever came over you was over so quickly. That was very unlike you.

Still, of course, he's going to be a bit cold and petty about it for a day or so, and you just know you'll get yet another overbearing mother-in-law lecture when he inevitably goes whining to her about your behaviors like he always does, always getting her to try and teach you how to behave properly, rectify any perceived flaw he finds with you, like a child begging Mom to repair a malfunctioning toy.

Can't have you thinking you could ever do something like that again. You really need to be more mature, he tells you. You can't always have things go the way you want in life.

[cinnamonest]

Older next door neighbor darling x Kazuha.

Kazuha is a struggling college students just trying to get by and not even sure he wants to even finish college atp. He moves into a cheap apartment building next to darling, an office worker. She’s older than him but she still is super respectful when they interact, which is practically scarce.

He develops feelings one day when he stumbles up the steps into his apartment complex and is unable to open the door, he passes out. He wakes up in the warmth of darling’s home. It’s strange and weird but in the most homey - fever dream way possible. She’s so attentive and sweet to him, placing cold rags on his head and making sure he’s drinking enough fluids and has a home cooked meal for him prepared - when was the last time he had that.

He’s a flustered mess having never had this type of kindness and pampering before, especially not from an attractive older woman. He’s so infatuated with how kind and sweet she is, his heart races uncomfortably. After he bids his farewell, Darling tells him to come by any time for a home cooked meal. He’s a growing boy and shouldn’t always live off of cup ramen all the time.

It takes him a while to gather the courage to go back again but he does, and a routine establishes where Kazuha is practically going everyday to have a meal with darling and pretending they’re little dates. He always washes up afterwards as darling washes the dishes and uses that type to snoop in her room and see and steal things. He knows it’s wrong but he genuinely cannot keep darling out of his head. This keeps him level headed and it’s not like darling ever cares to mention lost items. Because she’d of course tell him, right? They’re practically dating, right?

One day, darling, in her tipsy state sharing a drink with Kazuha mumbled how they’ve always wanted a family. But they’re about to reach an age where they’re no longer considered desirable to men her age and she’s saddened. She’s much too busy to find a boyfriend, and insemination is too expensive for her budget. Kazuha’s heart is racing so much, he’s gripping the table trying not to climb over the table and feel how hungry her cunt is for his seed. He wants her so bad, and he feels it in his bone that she does too, when the reality is she just sees him as a lonely kid next door who needs friends.

What to do, what to do…

He has trouble letting himself slip into full delusion, initially. The poor thing has done every coping mechanism he can think of, and in the process riddled himself with guilt. He gets red in the face when you look at him, because how can he tell you that he’s been jerking off to pictures of your smiling face?

Even the wholesome thoughts make him feel shameful, embarrassed. It’s laughable, he thinks, how he lays there and fantasizes about you saying sweet things to him, you initiating something with him, or even these happy endings in his head, where you get married and have his babies and live together happy forever. It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? The thought hurts, but he knows you’re just being nice, and that makes it that much more shameful.

That’s not even getting into the depravity he’s into, and recognizes it as such. How can he live with the thought of how you’d react if you knew the sort of things he’s thought about doing to you? Would you hate him?

But over time, the nicer and nicer you are, he just lets go of his sense of reason, allows himself to sink into the hold of wishful thinking. It’s easier, that way, he doesn’t have to spend so much energy fighting the thoughts and feelings off anymore.

Your words are just the final straw, a tipping point where he can fully feed into the urges. Maybe you’re drunk enough that you will agree when he says he can help you. Drunk enough that you’ll let him help you over to bed, that you’ll let him do whatever he wants, won’t fight him. And maybe in the morning, he could even convince you that the whole thing was your idea.

After all, once the deed is already done, you’d feel terrible about the idea of making his first time something horrible and traumatic for him by rejecting him after doing something so special, wouldn’t you? You couldn’t do that to him, not when he has such a gentle spirit and light in his eyes.

Of course, he wants you to truly love him, but he realizes that he needs to get a foot in the door in order for that to happen. So even if he has to guilt-trip his way into getting that opening, the ends will justify that means, and he’s certain that he can make you love him, he just needs that little bit of time.