#the children are his

[haveihitanerve]

Bruce: what does adopting children do for me? Bruce:... Bruce: *deep inhale* Bruce: what does AIR DO FOR MY LUNGS??!?!?!?!?

[lesbxdyke]

I could think of no better way to share the news than this!

So when I was 17, my cat went missing and I'd given up hope of ever seeing him again.

Until on Monday, 27th of May, 2024, my friend sent me a FB post asking 'isn't that your mother?' about the person named on the microchip.

Here he is! 16 years old, and found safe, twelve whole years after he went missing!

Yesterday (Tuesday the 28th of May, 2024) I went to the rescue that had him, and I reclaimed my boy, renaming him Artie! (He'd originally been called 'Cat' because my mother and I couldn't decide on a name)

He's home safe with me now, currently inhabiting my bathroom and purring up a storm every time someone goes in there!

I'll be doing slow introductions between him and my current cat to give them the best possible chance of living in harmony!

Here's some pictures of Artie once we let him out of the carrier:

[fanaticalthings]

Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

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Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰

[bruciemilf]

Bruce: Parenthood is a spectrum.

Clark: Explain that.

Bruce: Sometimes, my kids make me so proud I almost like myself.

Bruce: Other times, I say ‘Well. At least they’re not doing crack cocaine’

[egggelatin]

hurry!!

[brucie-baby]

the fact that alfred was the one to put up jason's memorial is so important to me

[adreamfromnevermore]

AU Where the Justice League forms as usual except for one slight difference where Bruce just so happens to have been the one superheroing for the longest. (Excluding Diana, who got up to it in World War 1 and then mostly didn't while she learned about Man's World)

Bruce helps form the Justice League, ignoring all of the comments as they come to the sudden realization that Gotham's baby cryptid story is actually a man in a very intimidating armored suit who can and will break your arm if you cause problems for him. They are unaware that this is not the first team he's led, and actually he's used to teams full of mostly teenagers who also happen to be his children. This should be easier, this team is primarily adults.

He realizes rapidly that he doesn't understand these people.

His kids take bonding activities to mean learning a dozen different ways to break someones leg. That doesn't fly with these people. And that is most of Bruce's ideas, hell when he was a kid Alfred took every opportunity to get him out of his room and mostly that was with the agreement that Alfred would teach him how to defend himself. He's come by it honestly.

This team is not easier. They have more drama than when his house was actually full of kids. It's insane. He doesn't know what to do with it, usually he just sent the kids to their rooms or grounded them from patrol. That doesn't work here.

He comes to a strange crossroads. That falls apart when he forgets who he's working with and snaps at Hal with a full room of heroes that the next person to throw a punch or an insult without a reason too will be sparring with him.

A long standing rule in the batcave that worked two fold to prevent infighting between the kids and too ensure that they were well and truly trained.

It works wonders. No one says a word out of line for the rest of the debrief. Bruce becomes the unofficial mediator of the league over Clark because anytime he walked in on a fight it suddenly became 10 times more civil out of sheer terror of what he'd do to them in a sparring match.

Eventually they actually meet his kids. Well, one kid.

Half way through a mission (one of the rare ones in Gotham) the Bat comes to a complete stop at the edge of an alley. Every single league member on the team comes to a stop behind him. Slowly from the shadows of the alley a man in a red helmet stalks out to greet them.

"You don't call, you don't write"

"Red Hood."

"Don't Red Hood me! We've been worried sick!"

"I was at the cave last night."

"You didn't answer my texts B. You always answer my texts."

Somehow it ends with big and scary following them through the rest of the mission with a running commentary of how much Bats has let him down in his failure to respond in a timely manner to a text send less than an hour before he ran into them in the alley. It only ends when Red Robin shows up.

And even then it only ends because Hood can't keep himself from throwing a punch and Bruce has to snap at him that if he throws another one they're sparring when they get home.

And by god is Jason giving up the chance to punch his brothers.

[spitblaze]

I guess Chilchuck has brought us right back to 'adults who are short are child-coded and if you like them you're a pedophile' discourse huh

[ruestheday]

one of the biggest lies the fandom will tell you is that alfred pennyworth is a good man.

he’s horrible. people just don’t realize he’s horrible because they’re all too focus on the superheros.

not many people in the fandom know this, but alfred literally has a daughter. her name is julia. why does no one know about julia? BECAUSE HE ABANDONED HER. it’s canon that he chose the waynes over his OWN CHILD. when she’s introduced in the comics she hates her dad because he abandoned her in england to raise a child that wasn’t even his.

the infamous jason “a good soldier” memorial? yeah, alfred did that. bruce wanted it taken down. alfred also left jason’s destroyed robin suit on display.

alfred is the reason tim is robin. dick and bruce are trapped by two-face and alfred just… gives tim a robin costume and sends him on his way. no formal training. no anything.

ever blame dick for damian becoming robin? wrong. it was alfred. dick was against it. alfred is the first one to give damian the robin costume, like he did to tim years before. dick did eventually choose damian as his robin, but that was while damian was ALREADY ROBIN. (he even tells tim that he doesn’t pick tim to be his robin because he considers tim to be an equal, not a sidekick, but i digress)

when bane breaks bruce’s back, alfred literally packs up and leaves. he travels. he just drops everything and goes to explore the world, until dick eventually hunts him back down.

it’s also a common theme that alfred couldn’t find the right balance between being a father figure and a butler, so he was constantly enabling bruce growing up (and still does) because technically bruce was his boss… even though he had custody of him.

edit: actually technically (in some runs) bruce’s uncle has custody of him but literally makes being absent an olympic sport But you get what i mean

edit two: fixed the spelling mistakes that text to speech tiktok made me aware of. u guys are fake for not telling me. anyways fuck ai content farm accs

[chloesimaginationthings]

Elizabeth Afton bets on losing dogs in FNAF..

[musubiki]

my favorite fields of mistria boys 🥰

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

Doodle dump for the HWINEBHABWNAJCAHOWEEATOWEUB AU!!

A little Fiddleford doodle and the gang (FINALLY) going to get Ford some goddamn furniture in his shack.

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The doomed narrative twins >:)

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Fun fact: Wendy and Soos got 'hired' as Ford's unofficial lab assistants completely by accident! Soos kind of just. Attached himself to Ford, kind of similarly as he did with Stan.

Meanwhile, Wendy was recruited a little later when her friends dared her to enter the notorious "Mystery Shack" of the ever elusive Stanford Pines, mad scientist and eater of children (at least according to the rumors). When she discovered that Ford was just. Some nice guy, she felt bad and offered to help him clean up the mess she made by breaking in, and stuck around ever since :]

[canisalbus]

✦ They said you were a bright child ✦

[fanaticalthings]

Jason Todd with his goons:

[bruciemilf]

Really glad we’re crowning Dick as the scariest batfamily member. Society is healing.

Don’t mind me, just imagining Bruce’s hands, big, soft, covered in the labor of violence, holding his eldest’s face, saying, “This is Dick. He’s the kindest person I know.”

Dick’s fists are behind his back. He’s holding some socialite’s bloody tongue in them. If they’re going to use it to talk shit about his father, they don’t need it. His smile is sunshine and war.

[finleycannotdraw]

I like to think combat training for these two became more complicated as they got older, if you know what I mean

I colored the last one first and then lowered my standards. give it up for 10yo ambrosius and his glaringly yellow shirt