#the blood thing made me feel ill | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

plasmaniac · 7 months ago

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mutual who confessed to attempting to murder a relative. mutual who confessed to almost drinking a vial of human blood that was not their own. mutual who got so insanely bent i told them cisphobia isnt real and nobody was going to murder their cis relatives for being cis they called me a gay nazi on a youtube movie maker vent video. many such cases.

#mitri.txt #to be fair the relative they claimed was a p*dophile which is like. okay fine but why are you confessing that. on a social media site #the blood thing made me feel ill #and the third thing was probably the most irritating yet hilarious incident ive been involved in yet #i could list off so many Interesting People ive met over the years #from the annoying to the actually criminal #god saying it wasnt their own. like it makes a huuuge diff

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luck-of-the-drawings · 8 months ago

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"And soda; runs off into the street..." "...and soda... is totally okay!"

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #cw blood #something something cracking open a boy w the cold ones #IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES I MISSED I SWWWEAR TO JEBEDIAH. IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA DIE IT NEEDS TO BE DONE #ALSO RRRAAAHAHHHGHGH CAN I JUST TAKEA SECOND TO SCREEAAMM ABT HOW MUCH I LOVE SODA AND EMIZEL.. LIKE THERYE SO CUTE....#THEY ARE HOMIES THAT KISS EACHOTHR GOODNIGHT. THEY CARE SO MUCH FOR EACHOTHER. SODA LOVES SODA AND SODA LOVES YOU #do u guys remember how willing he was to share blood w his vampire bestie. like cmon. remember when emizel memorized sodas Soda Schedule.#LIKE CMON.... they just have eachothers backs so much. ouhhh my god... ANYWAY SO THE ART HUH. I FEEL LIKE I SCRAMBLED W IT FOR A WHILE #DRAWIN IS HARD..... i think i did well in the end tho.. i like the lil heart beat effects. and i hope i made soda look Suffieciently Scared #i ALSO had fun w the teeth. i however did not have fun w the walls. if i had more drugs i mightve done every brick in more detail #but i didnt WANNA!!!! this will suffice.I HOPE IT FLOWS WELL&THAT ITS CLEAR... IVE STARED AT IT SO LONG IT IS NOW VISUAL SOUP. HELP!!!#i want my comics to have more Pauses and Space and Thought and Momence. i feel like normally they go so fast. but THIS time #i think i did good.... huuoouhhhh.... comics are HARD art is HARD but i am HARDER. or something. OH YEAH I HAVE MORE ART THINGS #soda was RLY HARD FOR ME TO DRAW FOR A MINUTE..but i like where his design is now. i wanted his hair to be curly swirly.like soda fizz #i THINK thats all my thoughts for now. if u have thoughts u should spill them in the tags i looooove reading tttaaggsss #have a goodnight i gotta go to work soon. maybe. unless the casinos power goes out AGAIN. OR SEOMTHING... UUGHHH MY SCHEDULE IS IN SHAMBLES #I THOUGHT I WAS WORKIN 3 DAYS INA ROW SO I RENTED A WHOLE DAMN HOTEL BC THE JOB PLACE IS FAR AWAY.. I HAD TO CANCEL THE WHOLE RESERVATOn #annd im MMMMAD ABOUT IT!!! like ill get over it ofc BUT IM PEEVED!!!! IM INCONVIENIENCED AND GENTLY AGGRIVATED. BUT OVERALL FINE.#hope yalls weekend goes well. sleep well. if u get the chance to.

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zatna · 2 months ago

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my zatanna is transfem btw

#shes stated as unlabeled in my carrd bc i have my own thoughts on homo magi gender & sex and i cant like...#put all of that into my one-line bio so shes unlabeled (which she'd say herself if u were to ask!) bc its the most accurate to her feelings #but ill always be associating the trans(/fem) flag w/ her bc its also true #need to write that homo magi thing out tho dont i...long sigh.#that means it has to be coherent and i cant end it with “u get me?”.....longer sigh #me saying that is not in anyway implying that ill work on it any time soon whatsoever btw #just take note that i will write my own origin & general identity for the homo magi. it might take canon influences but yeah #giovanni is definitely a man who had homo magi blood in him but was raised in modern society and norms and therefore expectations and such #he worked to wield and harness magic as a tool (while he still appreciated it its different than direct descendants!)#while sindella has a more larger connection and life to magic itself being a direct descendant. love the idea of being made of magic!!#has a natural synchronization with magic/energy/soul/etc and its own way of enlightenment #they had managed to fall in love which is so sweet but they experience the life of magic completely differently!#zee has a natural disconnection from gender norms & such due to sindella but she still GREW UP in modern society w/ gio #homo magis have an innate agenderness to them perchance......idk wtf im saying im high as bawls #either way untuck queen xoxo

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gentlethorns · 12 days ago

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you know what? i'm gonna say it. i miss being seventeen. not for the "glory days," bc they weren't, by a country mile lol. if i had glory days i'd say they were in 2020. but i miss the electricity, the constant undercurrent of euphoria and deep plunging black. i miss the fight i had. i was literally known for being scrappy. i was self-destructive and coping poorly, but goddamn if i didn't burn bright and long. it took me until my twenties to finally start to fizzle out. does the candle with its wax melted down to the base of its glass cage miss when the wick was lit?

#she bork #it's not even that i'm tired of fighting necessarily. clearly. if i was i wouldn't miss it. i think i miss being ABLE to fight. now i just #don't feel like i have the grit i used to have. i'm not sure if it's bc i'm healthier mentally or bc my energy has just dissipated over time #but i miss taking hit after hit (metaphorically) and wiping the blood from my lip and standing again and raising my fists. i don't do that #anymore. and again even if it's bc i'm healthier i'm not sure it's a good thing that that stubbornness and grit is gone. is it automatically #better to seek the path of least resistance? i'm not sure.#maybe it's learned helplessness? idk i mean logically one person can only suffer so much before they learn it's better not to fight or that #fighting isn't even always possible. but i've always struggled. i've always gone head-first into these things and white-knuckled it and made #it through even if only w self-violence (which was often remarked upon as self-discipline). now i feel like i just flounder and flop and cry #like a fish w a wailing voice on the dock as it loses its breath. i really do think it's partially bc i'm sane now but somewhere inside me #that crazy flame still dances. and ik that bc from time to time i still feel the heat against the sides of the glass. maybe it's a lack of #confidence. maybe it's that ik now that it's impossible to hate yourself into a different better shape (both physically and mentally). but #it was so exciting to try. if i'm miserable regardless i'd at least rather be having fun.#furthermore it could also be that my chaos is no longer external. a lot of what i have going on is internal/physical and it's a daily thing.#fighting daily is a lot harder than fighting through my shitty relationship or that one season of volleyball that destroyed me mentally lol #(ik that sounds ridiculous but it was pretty fucking bad). i'm no longer fighting against other people or external circumstances that i feel #a need to prove myself against. i'm fighting my own body which has proven a tougher match than anticipated. bc how can i? i live here. i #cannot will my body to function. i can swim against the currents of my illness and often do. but that's less glamorous than punching walls #and running for miles like i used to. i want to break a hand. i want to run three miles in half an hour. i want to doll myself up for a #dance and spend the whole night driving w the windows down strung out on a cocktail of cortisol and dopamine. i want to live in the eye of #the hurricane again. and i never will. and it's good but i think it's made me soft.

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girlthativealwaysbeen · 1 month ago

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sometimes my bestfriend is like an angel in disguise istg

#i was justttttt thinking that aw it's so sad that navratri music is playling everywhere and i don't have friends to go with #like last year atleast i had tuition sorta friends but now ive isolated them too it sucks #but i was like well it's okay ill do it when i grow up celebrate every festival i didn't get to in my house because we just never do #and then she calls and she's like let's go this club jahan every year famous hota hai full celebration #and i was like ehh i don't want to i don't even know how to play and ill have to convince dad for raat can't we just #go to a cafe or something dopahar mein uske liye i don't even need permission #and she even agreed but she sounded sad and disappointed about it so i was like well fuck it you want to go club na #and she was like yeahhh so i was like aagh okay and i asked and we're going tomorrow!!!!!#and it's so ridiculous like i just say i don't want to go but it's actually so exciting to go someplace other than a cafe!!!!#and i was complaining to her ki okay ill go but i won't dress up and five mins later me and mumma are making full outfit with dupatta #style decided jewellery she has saved for years that are specifically navratri types and she's like we'll get my blouse altered it's fine #you know being sick has really given me perspective on my parents #im not going to hate my mom anymore i never used to growing up i always thought she was brave but helpless #but a stupid day in 12th i realised when we were talking that technically she COULF get divorced she just #doesn't want to because she'll be alone and she thinks we're growing up and leaving anyway so why should she let go of financial #stability for us. which is wild to me because girl you can't buy anything you want without his permission so i don't understand what's the #point if he's rich or poor but whatever whatever she's been raised this way etc etc #but anyway being sick really made me realise who the real monster is😭 all dad did was shout horribly at me all the time #and was like don't you dare take meds they're fake this is all just junk food stop eating it and you'll be fine. when i was literally #having 103 FEVER.#and mom was the one who was making me different drinks juices cutting up fruits staying with me as i get my blood drawn #checking my fever sote jaagte #like wow i literally wouldn't have gotten better if it wasn't for her and i couldn't believe how attentive and nice she was being #like yes i understand she just thinks this is her duty she's just playing her role a mother a housewife but still #idk i just realized that okay atleast she's good at being a mother dad isn't even that why am i feeling good about him when his love #not even love his politeness is so fucking conditional #and mom healed me even tho i told her about clubbing and drinking lots of alcohol she's kinda against it because she's seen #horrible things in life family yucky men but still she understands ans trusts my sister mostly and know we just do it for fun and she #wasn't even mad!!!!!!! like wow ooay #moms love is actually not conditional for the first time in my life i felt like if i fall maybe she could be there to catch me and dad wld

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magpie-trinkets · 2 months ago

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man i hope i get to feel creative joy again. im so demotivated in general

#like i drew some shit posts but i didn't finish them. i haven't finished anything in a while #i felt some passing joy when drawing but it went off so quickly #reflecting now i think this dejected overall mood is what made me think layton was both a tragedy and a joy #because i want him to be a joy. he is. but my mood made me fixate on the tragedy of his backstory #and what is more!!!#i have been watching a little spider make a spiderweb for a while now #and i felt jealous yknow #like look at her. she's going up and down up and down #doing her thing. working hard on her project and that's beautiful like. nature is happening #and yet i don't have the drive to draw nor write. this spider is my current only source of fascination #man im oversharing on main maaaannnn #cmon say something funny. uuuuhhhhhh bazinga #it's not so bad i know it's just low energy but it's hitting me tonight. this too shall pass #anyway layton is a joy. his past is a tragedy. spiders are scary sometimes but they're cool sometimes too #and one day ill draw again and ill go beast mode on the canvas and i will spill the blood of my enemies #and ill be proud of myself. but right now everything feels wrong so. not tonight #i have this habit of making the tags absolute nightmares while the post is like. tiny. like a spider!!!#thematic cohesion!!!!!!!!!!!

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heatobrienswife · 10 months ago

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.

#tw: death #tw: irl death #tw: parent death #ok those tags will make sense in a moment but! cause I've been going back through my s/is lore it made think a lil deeper into her #relationship with o'b (true heat) n well the thought of them talking about kids came up #both o'b n myself irl have a genetic that can lead to terminal illness n cause my s/i is me she has it too #o'b carries a disease in his blood that killed his sister n mine can lead to terminal cancer not 100% but I'm more likely to possibly get it #over someone who doesn't have the same gene it's what killed my own dad irl #so i like the idea of both of them like bonding on that level knowing they both have like this *monster* inside them inside their genetics #n well its comforting to me to know he knows exactly how i feel irl #idk cause of the whole his ashes finally being ready for pick up thing it sorta opened old *wounds* n my fear of dying like he did #i know I'm gonna die someday everyone is but i don't wanna die the way he did #i think I'm venting uogihviyv not what i meant to do! I'm not looking for comfort! just brain werms went screwy lol #but i really like the idea of the two of them having a bonding moment over their fears n grief in a way that only people in that position #can #n it's comforting so ojghvihfiv #shut up rattie no one gives a shit lol

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torchickentacos · 1 year ago

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ok i slept for uhhh seventeen hours on and off since last night bc chronic illness <3 BUT that means I'll be up until like five am tonight. sad. BUT!!! that gives me time to read fics that i've meant to for months, and reading fic in general is something i don't do often so i'm kind of excited for my accidental all nighter era.

#ok. adding this in post. accidental chronic illness vent in tags #I FINALLY DON'T HAVE SCHOOLWORK TO BE DOING INSTEAD #deadass i finished my exam and project on sunday #and have been in crash mode ever since #i need to just give into it #on one hand i feel guilty that I HAVE the luxury of giving into it #because tons of people don't #but also i know that i have the luxury BECAUSE i planned my schedule/life around my illnesses #i KNOW this happens. especially in the fall (see: october slide) so I take lighter courseloads #and it's so hard. I feel like I struggle with things most people can do in their sleep.#I don't have enough blood in my brain to think half the time /literally and medically. not joking here #I'm chronically pretty fucking hypoxic and have blood pooling #so i know I need to be more understanding of myself here #but realizing your limits are different from other people is just so difficult to reckon with #especially in your early twenties (21.5) when I see other people making huge progress towards independence #i WILL still move out within the next couple years if i can help it. but I also know it will be uniquely challenging for me.#sigh.#I desperately want independence but it doesn't really want me lol #too bad for independence though. I've made it work this far and I'll keep pushing as far as I can with it.#my main concern is driving though. driving and brain fog reaction times/occasional syncope are. not great things to mix!#will cross that bridge when i get there

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wishchthumblr · 6 months ago

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on todays episode of "mental health issues that could easily be solved by one single thing that i dont have", GET A MICROWAVE!!!

i just know SO many of my eating related issues (not all obviously but a LOT of them) would be solved if this house just had a goddamn microwave

today i ate like... 1/4th of those small frozen pizzas, 1/3rd of a grilled cheese, and 1/3rd bowl of macaroni and meatballs. and yall wanna know why i didnt eat the whole thing of any of them? its cause my stupid adhd ass took too long to eat and the food got cold. and then i Cannot Eat That anymore. so even though i was still hungry i didnt eat the rest of it and just went back to rotting on youtube shorts and being too hungry to do anything and feeling dumb and unproductive and being guilty of making food that i dont eat. just... feeling like a big ol' waste

but the thing is, if i just

✨owned a microwave✨

i could just reheat the motherfucking food and still eat it and not feel like ive wasted that food. ((because since that food is wasted i feel guilty about making it, so i dont make any more food until next meal time, but then i didnt finish that either cause im stupid and eat too slow.))

but we dont have a microwave. only an oven. and yeah maybe i couldve reheated the 3/4th pizza or the grilled cheese in the oven, but then again the oven uses a lot of electricity. and my mom is always complaining that i turn the oven on, forget that its on for a while, and that im wasting electricity. and i was too tired and hungry to deal with that possibility. plus with the oven theres a chance i forget it too long or have it too hot and burn the food and that would just make me feel worse

but we dont have a microwave, because my mom thinks having a microwave leads to "eating more unhealthy foods that you just heat up" instead of "real food". so i didnt reheat any of my food. so i didnt eat it. it got to the point where it got cold and gross so i just threw it in the trash and hope my mom or grandma doesnt notice.

but if i had a microwave, i couldve reheated that food. and i couldve eaten it. ((and yeah, maybe i wouldnt have ate the whole thing, but maybe half at least? that counts right? well it dont really matter if it counts or not cause it didnt happen.))

and then maybe i wouldnt have been feeling like im gonna faint the whole day and maybe i wouldve gotten literally anything done instead of just scrolling on pinterest and youtube shorts for hours and feeling worthless. and maybe if i ate i wouldnt have hurt myself today

but nope. no microwave. it leads to "unhealthy" habits. i guess not eating enough to count as even ONE full meal is healthier since its not "microwave food"

thanks mom

#tw eating issues #tw self harm #btw to my irl friends. if you see this no you did not #sorry honey if you see this. cause i know you like my mom and think shes really nice #which she is!! most of the time aha #the hurting myself happened bc i usually have sprinkled cheese on my macaroni and meatballs #but i used all the cheese in the sandwich that i binned #which made me feel like such a fucking idiot and a waste #so i started crying #and i took the metal lid from the boiling macaroni pot and pressed it to me leg for like 10 seconds straight #fun fact: im really good at muffling any sound when im in pain. haha #it didnt feel like enough though. my knife drawer had stuff infront of it but theres a loose screw on my table #so i ripped that across my skin a couple times #some blood came out but not “enough” pain #so then i had the very strong urge to hurt MORE #and intrusively imagined what id be like to take a knife and drive it into my stomach #which was a little shocking cause i havent had THAT thought in a while #AND THEN i remembered i have my swedish final on monday and i have to make a speech and i havent even chosen a topic yet #and that ill have to meet the swedish teacher that is the reason for the only times i have ever cried or cut at school #and then i had another like... daydream hallucination thing about telling my asshole swedish teacher #that the reason i dont have a speech is cause i realised id see him on monday and wanted to kms :3 #kinda still feel like cutting and i scratched myself with the sharp screw a bit more but at least venting about this helped a little #yall if i look my teacher in the eyes and tell him he makes me want to kms and that his behavior and attitude HAS made me cut myself #and that i pray to god he treats his own children better than he treats his students #think hed let me skip the test? yes or no?#god i feel so dizzy rn #but i dont wanna make more food and have to throw it away. i wish we had snacks in this house #wish’s whispers #personal vent #this was a lot of tags aha

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infizero · 2 years ago

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kills you kills you kills you kills you kills yo

#listening to the audio on the page again gawdddd i feel ill im gonna throw up #kris' frenzied discordant playing. you usually play the piano a bit more beautifully. they didnt have a piano at their house #they loved to play the piano and there was no piano in the house there was no keyboard in the house nothing #and now their hands' movements are not their own their fingers uselessly mash against the keys in the clumsy frustrated way #they cant even do the one thing they were good at anymore. you usually play the piano and bit more beautifully #and then noelle listening in from the other room. there were times when i wasnt even sure if we were friends. maybe they werent thinking #about me at all. we're friends. we're something else. we havent hung out in so long but i know how you like your eggs. what your favorite #color has been throughout the years. the first movie you cried to. i know you better than anyone. i dont know you at all #your voice isnt your own. what happened to your voice? what happened to the beautiful music you made? what happened to you?#why are you telling me to do these unspeakable things? why am i going along with it? (we're getting stronger) why do i let the blood drip #down my finger from the ring you slipped onto it? (we're something else) what happened to us?#we used to play tag in your backyard. there's blood on my hands because of you. i dont know whats happened to you and i cant stop it #maybe they weren't thinking about me at all #you usually play the piano a bit more beautifully #but when i closed my eyes it felt like a concert just for me #i need a drink #serena.txt

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caruliaa · 1 year ago

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also hi for anyone who cares omitb is sooo fucking good omg ?? like omg omg i watched it all in the last three days and its literally so incredible im so excited for the season 3 finale