#and she even agreed but she sounded sad and disappointed about it so i was like well fuck it you want to go club na

[delicatetaysversion]

sometimes my bestfriend is like an angel in disguise istg

[upsidedownwithsteve]

Steve Harrington x fem!reader [3.4K] request from anon: what about Steve teaching reader how to really kiss? Like she’s only ever had bad ones before? 

“Sloppy?” Steve grimaced, smiling through your word choice despite the disappointment he felt for you. 

You shrugged, nose crinkled as you remembered. “Yeah. Wet, y’know? And not like— it was just too much…tongue.”

There was a silence, a sad kind that filled the room. Steve wasn’t sure what to say. You kind of regretted telling the boy. So you sighed and shrugged it off again, biting the head off of red Sour Patch Kid.

“Maybe I just don’t like making out,” you sounded defeated and Steve hated it, frowning as he watched you chew your candy mournfully, your back pressed to the side of his unmade bed. “That’s normal, right? Like, some people just don’t like things like that and—”

“Hey, hey,” Steve knocked his foot against yours, legs stretched out across his bedroom floor. The pack of playing cards had been abandoned beside some unopened twizzlers and Steve’s can of cherry soda. “Look, of course that’s normal. And— and if that’s how you feel, that’s totally okay, alright?”

The boy hesitated, worried his bottom lip between his teeth and wondered if he should keep talking. You watched him, brows raised expectantly. 

“I just think—” Steve cleared his throat, his pointer finger dragging patterned across his carpet. He shrugged, all faux nonchalance. He didn’t want to sound like a creep, not to his best friend. Not to you. “I just think that maybe you’ve not had a good kiss, y’know?”

You didn’t answer, not right away. And Steve didn’t try and backtrack, or explain himself, he just waited, watching you think. His bedroom window was open, the sounds of the early evening slipping through. Someone’s backyard pool filter, their sprinklers out the front, the quiet spin of a kids bike going down the sidewalk.  

You didn’t look at Steve when you finally asked, “well, what is a good kiss?”

You felt stupid, asking such a thing at your age but maybe you’d grown up picking all the wrong kinds of guys. Impatient boys, greedy boys, selfish boys. Boys who turned into men who didn’t have the time of day to take it slow with a girl like you. Boys who thought they were men, who used too much teeth and tongue and pressure and tasted like cheap party beer and the leftover smoke of their cigarette. 

Guys who got too handsy too quick, guys who didn’t care that when they pulled away from your lips, you swiped the back of your hand over your mouth and tried not to frown. 

Steve shifted a little, cheeks turning pink as his eyes found yours. “Well,” he gestured at you, awkward. His gaze settled on your lips before he blinked and looked away. “I mean, it helps when you really like the person, y’know? The uh, the chemistry of it all.”

You swallowed, throat feeling tight, chest feeling too warm. You remember Nancy talking about those kinds of feelings when she first kissed Jonathan, a dopey, soft smile on her lips as she recounted it, telling you of the buzz under her skin, the flips that her stomach did when he leaned in to meet her, eyes closing. 

“Sure,” you agreed. You don’t think you’d ever felt that way about the boys you had kissed. “Right.”  

“But I guess you’re supposed to take your time with it? I mean, at first, when you’re getting to know someone.” Steve smiled, soft, reassuring. His knee knocked yours. “You find out what they like.”

“What they like?” You asked, voice cracking a little. You didn’t know where to look, what to do with your hands. You picked up a green sour patch and bit its leg. “What does that mean?”

Steve looked bashful, miles apart from the boy you’d know in high school, with a girl on his arm in the hallways, a different one in his lap at a party that weekend. 

“I’d, uh, I mean— person A would go slow with person B, right? They’d start soft. Gentle, I guess? You gotta— they’d have to figure out how the other person likes to be kissed. Not everyone shoves their tongue down your throat, y’know.”

You huffed out a laugh but it sounded weak, too breathy. You wanted the boy to keep talking, you wanted to watch his pink cheeks and his pretty eyes dart across your face, like he was searching for something. 

You wondered if he’d find it. 

“Not everyone?” You whispered. 

“No,” Steve shook his head, his smile wry. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees and he was closer now, closer than before and you could smell his cologne, the cherry soda fizz that hung in the air along with Mr Jackson’s freshly mown grass. “No, no, not everyone. I’d give the girl a peck at first, yeah? Just something PG-13. Then, when she relaxes and you know, she moves closer, kisses me back, I’d—”

Steve broke off, blinking like he was getting rid of something hazy. He’d been looking at you as he spoke, words coming too easy, the air between you both warm despite the setting sun. He licked his lips, suddenly nervous, awkward again, a bashful thing that made him suddenly even more endearing than you thought he ever could be. 

“You’d what, Steve?” You blinked, feeling warm, wondering if the boy could tell. You didn’t know what to do so you moved, leaning forward until you could fold your legs underneath yourself and your thigh bumped Steve’s shin. “You’d what?”

Steve’s eyes searched yours, his gaze falling to your lips and back again. You thought he found it then, that thing he seemed to be looking for. Because he cleared his throat and let one hand fall to the carpet between you, his fingers brushing over your socked toes and you almost jumped at the contact. 

The silence was too loud now. 

“I could show you, if you wanted.”

Someone’s lawn mower started up a few yards over, white noise buzzing in the distance as you tried to take in what Steve had just said. He was watching you, head tilted to the side, cheeks still rosy and when you looked at him carefully, you could see the barely concealed panic in his brown eyes. 

He pressed his lips together and tried to smile, tight and nervous and he was picking at the carpet, fingers fidgeting as you sat there dumbly. You heard the shake in his voice when he tried to say, “I am—,” he choked on his words, panicked. “—so, so sorry, I shouldn’t have—”

“Steve,” you stopped the boy with a hand on his shin, your warm palm against the denim. “We’re friends, right?”

The word seemed to burn on your tongue, like it tasted like a lie, like it was as dangerous as one. You waited, breath held, wondering if you wanted Steve to agree or not. 

“Yeah,” he nodded, suddenly so serious. “Yeah, yeah, ‘course we are.” He worried at his bottom lip again, looking at your own. “Best friends.”

You nodded, tongue feeling too big for your mouth to speak. Words felt clumsy, your skin too warm. Buzzing. Fizzing. You weren’t sure if it was you or the air. 

“Show me.”

You thought Steve would maybe hesitate, maybe he’d back out or shout, ‘got you!’ like those prank shows Dustin liked to watch. You thought he’d maybe lay down some rules, maybe he’d tell you how this didn’t mean anything and really, he was only doing his sad friend a favour. 

He didn’t do any of that. In fact he didn’t say anything else at all. Steve just let out a breath and nodded once, almost to himself before he let his hand curl around the back of your calf and he tugged, gentle. 

He lifted his chin, a casual ‘c’mere’ that had your heart thundering and you wondered if this confidence, this way of acting so sure of himself, was how he got all the girls. 

A quiet sort of assertiveness that made your stomach flip inside out. 

You unfurled yourself from your sitting position, shuffling to your knees as you moved across Steve’s bedroom floor, bare shins burning against the carpet. You leaned back on your heels, brought yourself down to Steve’s level where he sat against his wall, legs stretched out before him. 

He didn’t warn you when he brought his hand to your face, fingers cupping your cheek and his thumb brushed the corner of your mouth and you were suddenly left wondering when Steve’s hands had gotten so big. You’d watched him grow, from a middle school kid to king Steve the senior. You’d seen the new muscles, the height, the hair. You’d never noticed his hands before but now they were on you, it’s all you could think about.

Dizzy. You felt dizzy. 

“Okay?” Was all he asked, voice softer and quieter now he was so much closer. 

You nodded, face too warm and licking across your bottom lip like a reflex. You weren’t sure where to look. Or where to put your hands. Most kisses you’d shared had happened in the crowds at parties or in the front seat of a boy’s car after a date. You usually lay your palms on their shoulders, holding on and wondering if every boy took these opportunities to grope your ass like a pile of dough. 

“We can stop,” Steve told you. He looked nervous and if anything, it made you feel more anxious than ever. “Whenever you want, ‘kay?” 

You nodded again, unable to really speak, too scared that your voice would crack or something equally stupid would happen. And maybe Steve knew this, maybe he knew you so much better than you ever thought he would, because he smiled and nodded too. 

“Okay,” he announced, quiet and soft and he was moving closer, noses bumping, his eyes fluttering shut. “Here goes.”

“Wait.”

Steve paused, gaze back on your own and he looked concerned, he looked worried and before he could ask you what was wrong you were sucking in a panicked breath and asking: “what if I’m the bad kisser?”

“What?” Steve let out a laugh, breathy and disbelieving and he was still so close, his hand on your jaw and his thumb rubbing absentmindedly over the apple of your cheek. He was shaking his head, smiling, looking too pretty and suddenly this seemed like a monumental thing, something gargantuan. “No, there’s no way.”

You squirmed on the floor, shifting further and then closer and Steve loosened his hold on you but you didn’t go anywhere. You just blinked at him, pained with worry. “How could you know?”

Steve paused as he thought and you wondered if he had an answer, if he was going to say something truthful or he was simply thinking of something sweet to say to placate you. Instead, he looked into your eyes and seemed to search for that… thing, again. 

I— I just—” Steve didn’t say anything, he didn’t give you an explanation or a reason. 

He simply pressed his lips to yours. 

It was chaste and sweet and entirely innocent, lips closed and nothing close to scandalous. But then he parted from you just a breath, looking at you from heavy lidded eyes, watching you from beneath his lashes. And when you didn’t move, you didn’t panic, Steve leaned in again, kissing you the same way until he nudged your chin up with his hand and his lips slotted between your own. 

He moved slowly, carefully, with a practised ease that made your toes curl and it was still sweet, it made your tummy warm and your head spin and Steve’s lips were soft, tasting like cherry soda and sugar. 

You caught up after a beat or two, your hand that wasn’t braced on the floor reaching up to cling to where you could reach. Your fingers found the collar of Steve’s t-shirt, fisting the soft material and doing everything to make sure he didn’t move away. You moved with him, lips meeting and parting over and over until Steve sucked in a breath and tilted his head to the other side, pressing closer, a little deeper. 

After another soft peck, he pulled away, eyes still closed and his thumb on your chin as he whispered, voice hoarse. “See? Nothin’ to worry about.” He brushed your hair behind your ear, pressed his fingers under your jaw. “And now, a guy should be testing the waters, right?”

“They should?” You whispered back. Your eyes were still closed too, your fingers sneaking up past Steve’s collar to stroke at the skin at the base of his throat, experimental, adventurous. “How’d they do that?”

You were sure you felt the boy smile, sensed it. A warm breath across your lips as he moved closer again. “Like this—” 

Another kiss, the same as before, once, twice and then Steve was parting his mouth over your own and letting the tip of his tongue lick over your bottom lip. It was a fleeting touch, a zap, a buzz, a tingle down your spine and you gasped without thinking about it, lips parting for the boy and you followed suit, tongue moving past Steve’s lips to meet his own. 

He groaned then, a vibration against you, his hand skating back from your cheek to thread into your hair and he let his tongue move over your own, lips clicking every time they parted. It was slower than you’d been kissed before, something sensual about it despite being sat on your best friend’s bedroom floor and it made your insides somersault, the skin where Steve slouched burning. 

“Told you,” he murmured, breath heavy as he spoke. “Nothing to worry about,” he repeated and when you finally opened your eyes to look at him, face blazing with heat, Steve was looking at you like he didn’t know what to do with himself. 

“Mhmm,” you agreed, barely listening, eyes still on the boy’s mouth, fingering the collar of his shirt, not ready to let go yet. “You must be a good teacher, or something.”

Steve looked distracted, Adam’s apple bobbing, gaze on your lips too. You weren’t sure he had stopped looking at them. “Yeah, yeah. Or something.” He swallowed, throat tight. “Do you wanna stop? Or—?”

“No,” you said, maybe too quickly. “Do you?”

“God, no,” Steve agreed just as fast. “You can keep going— just— what do you want…?”

Steve’s words died on his lips as you moved suddenly, rising to your knees only to push Steve back to the wall. His hands fell to his sides, hovering in mid air as he stared, watching as you swung a leg over his knees and sat carefully on his lap. You were cautious, more on his thighs that closer to anything else but you tried to breathe evenly as you took in the position. 

“Okay?” You asked him, voice caught sticky in your throat with nerves but Steve nodded, head bobbing hurriedly. You sucked in a breath, smoothing your hands over Steve’s shoulders before you did as he had, smoothing them up the sides of his neck and holding his jaw carefully. “What do I do now?”

‘Whatever you want,’ Steve wanted to beg. But apparently this was a lesson of sorts and he  had something to teach you. So he cleared his throat to make sure his voice wouldn’t crack and held your hips, hands gentle and polite. “You, uh, you find out what I like.”

You nails scratched at the back of his neck, unconsciously. You licked your lips. “How do I do that?”

Steve’s hands flexed on your hips, climbing to your waist, holding you a little tighter. Something seemed to shift then, his eyes lighting up. He looked like he was ready to fight, like you’d asked him if he were up for a challenge. It made you grin. 

“Kiss me.”

 So you did. 

You did as Steve had at the start, kissing him soft and slow and chaste, pulling away before he could catch you, teasing, nose bumping his and breaths mixing, cherry soda to fizzy candy. And just before Steve was about to groan, frustrated, you shifted closer, chest pressed to his and you parted your lips, catching his bottom lip between your own. 

It was a greedier kiss and Steve let his head fall back against the wall with a dull thunk, opening his mouth for you, nails digging into your sides when you licked over his tongue, exploratory, gentle. You felt him nod, the tip of his nose smushed to your cheek and you smiled, amused at his praise. 

“Like that?” You asked, breathless, barley parting from him to speak. 

“Yeah, like that,” Steve agreed, sounding just as wrecked. “Keep going, please.”

He didn’t have to ask again. Fuck, he didn’t even have to ask as nicely as he did because you were back on him in a heartbeat, kissing your best friend like you didn’t want him to remember anyone else. 

“Slower,” he whispered, muttering instructions against your mouth and you didn’t feel scolded, you didn’t feel embarrassed you just followed Steve’s instructions, pulling back slightly to kiss him softer, lips moving with his slower, slower, slower. 

You heard him groan, felt his chest rumble and his hands squeeze at you in silent praise and you knew then he liked it like that, liked to be teased. You nosed at his cheek, did as he had done and pushed your thumb under his jaw to bring his mouth up to yours, his head tipping back, back, back. You pecked over his cheeks then, over the bridge of his nose and at the corner of his lips until he was panting, waiting for you. 

“Yeah?” Was all you asked. 

“Yeah,” he hummed, feeling like he was vibrating. He let his eyes shutter closed, waiting for your next touch. “Yeah.”

You felt bolder, brazen, pushing your lips back to Steve’s and when you pulled away this time, you nipped at the boy’s bottom lip, pulling at it gently with your teeth and until it popped softly back into place and Steve swore, he cursed, he grunted and his hips shifted under yours. 

“You like that,” you noted with a smile and it wasn’t a question. 

Steve didn’t speak, he couldn’t. Instead he stared up at you and nodded, dazed, throat bobbing as he swallowed tightly and tried to get himself under control. 

You moved into each other again without discussion, an unconscious need that didn’t need a conversation. Your hands went to his hair, holding onto the messy ends at the nape of his neck as his travelled the expanse of your back, fingertips lifting the hem of your shirt every downstroke, his skin on yours. It was enough for you to make soft noises against him, nudging closer and Steve helped, his hands pulling at your waist until your chest pressed against his and were seated over his crotch. 

You felt him then, hard and pressed underneath his jeans and it made you kiss him like you had something to prove, mouths moving together, open and panting, tongues touching teasingly, teeth grazing against lips to try and make the other moan louder. 

And when Steve’s garage door opened, a groaning, grating sound below his window, it was an interruption that told you both his father had arrived home. 

You slid from his lap, chest heaving and eyes heavy on Steve’s pink cheeks. His lips were shiny from your work, his hands leaving your waist at the very last second, your butt hitting his carpet rather ungracefully as you backed away, suddenly so aware of the line that had been crossed. 

You were burning still, an ache between your legs that hadn’t quite been satisfied and your lips buzzed from Steve’s kisses, the slow, careful way he’d pressed his to your own. He’d paid attention, you realised, picked up on every noise you made, every shift against him, the way you kissed him back eagerly when he did something you liked. And you’d done the same, taking in his gasps and sighs, stomach flipping when his hips bucked and his chest moved a little quicker than before. 

Your fingers touched your bottom lip before you pressed the back of your hand to it, as if to hide the evidence. Steve was still staring at you, panting, doing nothing to hide the obvious bulge in his jeans. 

And when his front door opened and closed and you could hear his fathers footsteps lead into his office, Steve stayed quiet. Only when the sound of the door clicking shut filled the silent house did he smile, boyish and all charm.

“See?” He reminded you, cheeks still burning. His hair was a mess from where you’d pulled on it. He looked rumpled, undone at the seams. “Told you, you weren’t a bad kisser.”

[mrsmothermaximoff]

Missed me?

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

Pairing: Stepmommy Wanda x f!reader

Tags: Stepmom x stepdaughter, fluff, daddy issues, kissing, drinking, mentions of upcoming smut

Summary: Y/N's back from college and finds out her stepmother may have missed her just as much as she did

Dinner ended after a painfully long 2 hours and you helped Wanda finish up the dishes while you two caught up. "So, did you meet anyone special over there?" The words tasted bitter in her mouth. "No, not really. Just a bunch of people who wasted my time." Wanda paused briefly after putting a plate in the sink, "Who wasted your time?" The question felt more than casual, like she demanded an answer. "Just people I thought respected me, turns out they all thought I was a joke." She frowned at you, "I don't think you're a joke, my Y/N." That nickname always left your face burning. "Thank you Wanda, I missed you." She pulled you in for an unexpected hug, one that was so rudely interrupted by your father coming to grab his 9th glass of wine.

After the dishes were done your father left upstairs to do who-knows what, and you went to your room to watch a movie with Wanda. The two of you had established a tradition of late-night movie watching about a year ago. Every Thursday Wanda comes to lay with you on your bed and you watch some cheesy laughable movie while you try to hide your giggles from your father. It was always completely innocent, until today that is.

The movie started and you both had already started your fits of laughter before you even grabbed the popcorn. Wanda was always very hospitable, so she loved setting up a series of snacks for the two of you. The movies you always watched were full of cheesy jokes and dumb humor, but this time Wanda wanted to watch something a little but more serious, a romance.

The main characters had already kissed 9 different people only 10 minutes into the movie. "I don't understand how people do it." You commented, upset by the actions of the character. "Do what?" Wanda replied. "Make-out with a bunch of random people all the time just for fun. I don't understand it. Why can't people just love one person forever? And only that person?" She began rubbing your arm softly at that last part. Your breath got caught in your throat at the sudden action. "Mhm" She agreed quietly. "M-maybe they're just lonely." You said trying to regain your thoughts. She stopped at your words, "Do you kiss a lot of people when you're lonely?" Her voice sounded softer, sadder, something you almost never hear from her. "No, but I might try it." You joked with a sad laugh, "I felt so lonely at school, for so long, I don't want to feel lonely anymore." She got quiet, when you looked up at her she was looking at you, focused. Her left hand gently caressed your head, while her right rubbed circles on your stomach. She opened her mouth, and then closed it. She did it again, and again, you anxiously waited for what she was trying to say. What could she have to say that would take this much effort? "Let me be the one you love forever, my Y/N," She whispered so boldly. "the one you always kiss, the one who kills your lonely, the one who makes you feel special every time you think you aren't." She paused, "I love you."

Your eyes filled with tears, and she pulled you into her to steal them with her lips. She softly kissed every tear that fell while she silently hoped you felt comforted by it. When they stopped falling she pulled away. "Wanda, I-" Her expression grew disappointed and saddened. "It's okay Y/N, I understand this is an interesting situation, you don't have to-" You practically threw yourself onto her smashing your lips together again. You heard her sniffle and you quickly pulled away. "Wanda?" She smiled and sniffled back more cries, "You're everything to me Y/N, I've loved you for so long and now you're finally mine." You smiled smugly back at her, "Well, there's still one thing you haven't claimed yet." She looked at you confused, "What?" You signaled for her to get closer, "my virginity."

[pitchsidestories]

stay strong like a lioness II Ingrid Engen x Mapi León x Lioness!Reader

masterlist I word count: 1854

a/n: Hi, it's based off this request here, we hope it lives up to your expectations !

It suddenly felt hard to breathe, you fell to your knees on the pitch side, the whole England team was devasted, while the Spain team was celebrating the world cup win in front of your eyes.  The tears of disappointment and sadness you were holding back made your vision turn blurry.

In addition to that a lot of your Barcelona teammates were ecstatic by their glorious achievement which made it even harder for you to accept the loss.

An inner voice was screaming at you, you lost, you looser, you were bad, simply not good enough, not worthy to represent your country on the world’s stage !  The hateful monologue was interrupted by a familiar voice and a hand which was encouragingly placed on your shoulder.

“Good game, y/n.”, Mariona who was under the winners of the night congratulated you.

“No, it wasn’t, Mario.”, you shook your head frantically.

“Hey, you fought hard. It was a close game.”, she countered softly.

“If you excuse me now.”, you announced, shaking of her hand who was padding your back seconds earlier, as you prepared yourself to leave.

“Where are you going? I’m sure the others want to talk to you too.”, the midfielder questioned confused.

 “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel like talking to anyone, really.”, you apologized in an honest tone.

“But-“, Alexia joined your conversation, looking alarmed at you. Her worry made your inner demons even louder in your head, you almost screamed at her, why do you care about me now? You just won the biggest title in football and I’m just a looser who will be just a footnote in the history books.

Instead, you chose some words which wouldn’t hurt your club’s captain feelings:” No, please, I just need some time alone.”

“Come on, y/n.”, Keira who lost just like you, opened her arms empathetically, but you refused to let her touch you.

“I’ll go to the dressing room.”, you declared sternly.

“We win and loose together, y/n.”, Lucy added, her eyes were red from crying too, the sadness she felt was written all over her face, she was an open book to anyone who would catch sight of the defender.

But you did notice that a hand steadied her posture. It belonged to Ona who smiled at the older woman. Much to your surprise she returned the smile, an unhappy one, but it counted, nonetheless.

“I don’t want to talk.”, you stated stubbornly. The loving words of your teammates who were also your friends didn’t reach over the wall you built around yourself since the final whistle.

“But when you want to, we’re here for you.”, Keira offered.

“Sure.”, you nodded absent minded.

“Girls, I think we should let her alone now.”, Ona muttered biting her lip disheartened by your reaction.

“She’ll get over it soon.“, Lucy agreed calmly while she watched you leave.

What you did not know while you locked yourself into your hotel room as soon as the team was back at their base camp, was that your girlfriends where sitting at home in Barcelona worrying about you.

“Mapi, she’s not answering our messages or calls!“, Ingrid complained and slammed her phone on the kitchen table in frustration. Her team was already sent home after the Round of 16, so she and Mapi had supported your journey to the world cup final from home.

Mapi frowned: “Still not?“

“No…“

There was silence at the kitchen table for a moment until the Spanish defender cursed: “Shit!“

“Maybe I could call Lucy.“, Ingrid suggested, nervously tapping her fingers on the table.

Mapi shrugged: “It’s worth a try.“

While she waited for Lucy to take the call, Ingrid put her phone on speaker. The English defender sounded tired when she finally answered.

“Lucy, could you please look after y/n? She doesn’t respond to us since the loss…“, the Norwegian got straight to the point, trying to keep the urgency out of her voice.

“She’s pulled away from everyone. She doesn’t want to talk.“, Lucy explained.

Mapi joined the conversation. Nervously she asked: “Not even to you or Keira?“

“No, she’s locking everybody out.“

Your two girlfriends shared a concerned look.

With all the hopefulness she could manage, Ingrid suggested: “Maybe after a good night’s sleep, it will be better…?“

“Maybe.“, Lucys voice agreed but sounded less than convinced.

“Fingers crossed. Thanks, Lucy. See you soon, champ.“ Mapi ended the phone call, still not much calmer than before.

But your girlfriends had no other chance than to wait until you arrived home from Australia just a day later. They really tried their best to make you feel better about returning home without the trophy. There was even a cake on the table but all you wanted to do was lay in bed until you felt less empty.

“She’s home. Hello, my love!“, Ingrid smiled brightly.

Before she and Mapi could come over to embrace you, you had already shrugged off your jacket and kicked off your shoes. You silently waved at them before disappearing into your room.

Mapi looked at the suitcase that you left standing in the middle of the floor: “Still?“

“Mapi, that’s not normal.“, Ingrid voiced her concern.

“What should we do?“

“I don’t know…“

The two of them stared at the locked door for a moment before Mapi suggested: “We should make some dinner. She must be hungry after that long flight.“

Ingrid gave a short nod: “That’s a good idea, we’ll cook her favourite meal.“

“Yes, come on.”, the Spaniard got up from the stylish sofa they have been sitting on, while offering the Norwegian her hand, as she followed her to the kitchen to start cooking.

It didn’t take them long to cook the dinner you loved most, the delicious scent of it quickly filled the whole appartement, but smelling this only caused your stomach to turn.   

“Y/n, we made dinner for you.”, Ingrid told you in an uplifting tone, knocking softly at the closed door.

“Not hungry.”, you shot back. Immediately you regretted the harshness in your voice. After all it wasn’t your girlfriend’s fault that you’ve lost the final. It was yours alone.

“You need to eat something though!”, Mapi protested, she sounded almost mad at you for not accepting your favourite food.

“Later maybe.”, you replied quietly. It was so soft that your girlfriends were almost unable to understand what you’ve been saying.

“Okay.”, the defender sighed, clearly frustrated that they couldn’t get through to you.

The mist of sadness surrounded you and didn’t pass, even when the training with the Barcelona girls started it clung on to you like a second skin.

While you were pushing yourself extra hard in the gym Lucy’s green eyes noticed it with growing concern until she had enough and yelled at you:” Y/n, stop it!”

“What?”, you blurted out, still heavily breathing from the exercise you’ve just done.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself.”, Mapi added, the defender has been doing her training along side the English player.

“You all don’t get it!”, you countered angrily. The mist has been lifted in your mind, instead there was a thunderstorm of emotions rolling through your whole body.

“Yes, we get it! We’re all players just like you. We all want to be our best.”, Lucy disagreed furiously. The pain of the loss was fresh for her too, but she knew that new challenges were laying ahead of her, with potential wins as a reward to lessen the hurt.

“Exactly, and you can’t shut everyone out, because you lost one game.”, Ingrid tuned in, her facial expression saddened as she glanced at you. The Norwegian felt helpless against the state you were in. Nothing seemed to lift your mood and made you return to your usual cheerful self; the one, she fell in love with.

“It wasn’t just any game.”, you replied through gritted teeth.

“You were in a World Cup Final. Other players don’t even make it that far.”, Mapi reminded you.

“Right, this was a big achievement.”, Ingrid continued, beaming proudly.

You looked from one of your girlfriends to the other. Everything they said felt like pure pity, it made your blood boil.

“No, it was a failure… My dad said I had to be strong and I wasn’t strong enough!“, you exploded.

There was silence in the gym, your teammates stared at you.

Mapi took a step towards you.

“You’ve been very strong.“, she assured you.

You sniffed once, fighting the upcoming tears: “But not like a lioness should be… I let everyone down.“

“We all lost the stupid game.“, Lucy replied.

Keira nodded confidently, gesticulating to herself and your other teammates: “Yes, and we’ll win a lot this season together.“

“Oh yes.“, Mapi agreed.

“Now heads up, little one. There will be another World Cup final coming for you.“, Lucy winked at you.

“And you’ll be in it, no doubt.“, Ingrid added, her gaze soft.

You could feel your breathing slow down as you stood there and listened.

Keira quietly continued: “Plus, it might sound weird coming from me but it does help to talk to someone professional about it because…“

“Because you don’t need to be strong all the time, mi amor.“, Mapi finished for the midfielder, bridging the distance between the two of you and taking your hands into hers.

“Kei’s got a point.“, Lucy said before quickly following up with: “That excludes me though.“

This caused Ona to raise her eyebrows at her girlfriend: “Lies. You cried about it on the first night of our vacation.“

“Shut up, Ona!“, the English defender shot back quickly but with a laugh.

You paused, looking at her. Lucy was without doubt the toughest person you had ever met. “Wait, you cried?“

Instead of her Ona answered, shooting Lucy teasing look: “Oh yes, like a little baby.“

“I didn’t cry. Especially not like a baby!“, she protested.

For the first time since the World Cup, you could feel a smile appear on your face: “I believe Ona.“

Returning your smile, Lucy shook her head: “Of course such blatant lies cheer you up.“

“They do.“

The sadness still weighed heavy on your chest but you felt like a dark veil had been lifted. The conversation with your teammates earlier had helped and you were ready to finally let people in again.

Exhausted from your gym session, you laid in bed with your girlfriends, one on either side of you.

“Can you two just hold me until it doesn’t hurt as much anymore?“, you asked quietly, your gaze directed towards the ceiling.

Your sweet girlfriends immediately wrapped you up into their arms, keeping you safe in their middle.

“Sure, as long as you need us to.“, Ingrid whispered while Mapi pressed gentle kisses onto your temple.

You were so grateful for your teammates and your two girlfriends. Right there, between them, the voices in your head seemed to quiet down and you fell asleep almost feeling at peace.

Maybe you failed at winning the most important game of your life so far but you would always be more than just good enough for Mapi and Ingrid.

[norrizzandpia]

It’s Your Birthday. Of Course, I’m Here. (LN4)

Summary: It’s Lando’s birthday and Y/n can’t make it. Or so he thinks.

Warnings: language, Lando missing her gravely

Note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY HUSBAND? I’m so in love with this man this is a national holiday.

“Are you boarding the plane?” Oscar asked Y/n from his side of the phone, his body turned away in the corner of hospitality.

Y/n, the girl murmuring a thank you to the flight attendant scanning her ticket, nodded with a smile, “Yes, I am. How is he? Does he know I’m coming?”

Oscar giggled, “Oh, no way. He’s been moping around all week because he thinks you won’t be here for his birthday. He doesn’t even want to go out on the night of his birthday! We’re in Vegas!”

Y/n laughed along with him, her heart slightly breaking for her boyfriend and his pity party, “Oh, no! Poor Lando. Well, hopefully, he’ll want to go out when he sees me.”

A mechanic tapping Oscar’s shoulder caused him to retreat from the conversation, “Yeah, exactly. Listen, I have to go, but text me when you land.”

Noises of agreement sounded from her as she said goodbye and hung up the phone. Oscar, standing awkwardly in front of his coworker, tried to seem nonchalant.

Jake smiled at him, “They need you in the garage.”

When he was about to walk past him, Jake grabbed Oscar’s arm, “Were you just talking to Y/n?”

Oscar’s heart dropped, plummeting to his feet when the surprise they had been planning for weeks was jeopardized. He shook his head immediately, “No. Not at all.”

Jake nodded slowly, “So, she’s not coming down here to surprise Lando for his birthday after telling him she couldn’t make it to that or the Vegas Grand Prix?”

Oscar sent him a confused look, “No.”

Yes.

—

Stepping off the plane, Y/n felt her palms become slick with the sweat of her nerves. This part of the plan was the hardest, getting to where Lando was without being recognized. With her hood pulled up, sunglasses on, and a mask resting tightly over the bottom half of her face, she weaved her way through crowds of people. Some were wearing Formula 1 merchandise, a few papaya fans sticking out, which brought a small smile to her face in memory of the man she was on her way to see.

Flashes of his sad smile plagued her brain from when she had told him she wouldn’t be able to tag along with him to the Vegas GP like she usually did, missing his birthday in the midst. He had assured her it was okay after she explained that she had an important test for university she couldn’t miss, however Y/n could see it in the way his eyes glazed over that he was trying to hold back begging her to skip it. He was trying to be a good boyfriend, that much she could tell and that much she was grateful for, but after seeing how disappointed he became, his laugh not holding its usual luster, she went to the professor to beg herself. She had explained to him the situation, even “jokingly” offering him free F1 paddock tickets in exchange for letting her take the test at a later date. By some miracle, or more genuinely by her professor’s kindheartedness, he told her that, because her grade was so strong, he would allow her to take it the week after she came back from her weekend in Nevada. He had laughed, praised her devotion toward her boyfriend, and told her that he was a fan of Lando himself, rooting for his coming win every race. The man had been so accommodating, Y/n had almost cried in front of him in his office, but she settled for crying in the privacy of the bathroom down the hall.

After that, she called Oscar, the boy letting out a sigh of relief that he wouldn’t have to handle Lando without his girlfriend and agreeing to help her surprise him.

Then, like a sequence of events, things fell into place. The McLaren marketing team caught wind of their plan and forced them to allow them to videotape the entire event, mentioning how fans would obsess over new Y/n and Lando content.

So, she found herself sliding into the backseat of a private driver for McLaren workings, with their camera man, John, sitting beside her.

She had met him before, multiple times considering how much time he spent with Lando, so the atmosphere was already comfortable.

John turned on the camera, the red light flickering as he asked, “So, how are you feeling?”

She smiled, “Good, excited to see him.”

John chuckled, “And who is ‘him’? Explain to the fans what we are doing.”

Y/n nodded, picking at the fraying edges of Lando’s hoodie she was wearing, “I am surprising Lando for his birthday! I just got off the plane from Monaco, landed here in Las Vegas, and, now, we are on our way to drop my stuff off at the hotel and then get ready to go see him! Originally, I wasn’t supposed to come, obviously, because I had a test I needed to take for my class, but my teacher, being the sweetest person to grace this Earth, allowed me an extension.”

John hummed, “And how do you think he will react?”

She let her head fall back on the seat behind her, smiling to herself at her predictions, “I think he’ll probably freak out. He’s always one for drama, don’t think that will change this time around.”

The camera shook lightly with John’s laughter, the two giggling over the driver. They shook their heads and rambled on about past instances where he’d blown minor things out of proportion. Promptly, Y/n compared herself and the surprise in store as something minor, but John was quick to disagree.

“You are so far from minor to that boy.”

—

The Hiltons that McLaren always put their workers up at always amazed Y/n. Being a broke college student who had barely scraped enough money together to study abroad in Monaco, her jaw was always on the floor when she walked through the doors and was met with the crystal chandelier, the granite floors, and grand vases of beautiful, colorful tulips and roses. Nonetheless, she had gotten slightly used to it after being with Lando for two years. She would always remember the first time he brought her along to a race, her staying in his room with the gigantic balcony accompanied by a jacuzzi and pool. He had told her it wouldn’t be anything special, but was proved wrong when they were given keys to the penthouse. She had gawked and gasped, all things Lando laughed at, while wandering through the rooms.

That weekend was ingrained into her mind as the introduction to Lando’s world.

John, camera by his side, conversed with the concierge as he checked her into Lando’s room. They had to be incredibly sly. They knew once Y/n surprised him, Lando wouldn’t settle for anything but her sleeping in his room. So, they wanted to solve that problem earlier, having Y/n drop her bags off in his room before everything unraveled.

They just needed to make sure he wasn’t there.

They just needed to make sure they didn’t disturb anything in the room, hiding her bags in the closet and hoping for the best.

When the receptionist validated Y/n’s identity, she gave them a key to his room. It was silent in the elevator as they climbed the floors, only having it being cut when her phone buzzed.

She reached down and turned it over, seeing a text from Oscar.

Oscar

DONT COME UP YET! WE HAVENT LEFT HIS ROOM

“Shit!” She yelped, typing furiously over the keyboard in response.

John turned the camera on, not wanting a moment to go to waste, “What’s going on?”

She turned her head, looking at him in a panic, “They’re still in his room!”

Their faces dropped, hearts pounding, as the elevator doors dinged and began opening. Lando’s voice filtered through the doors, along with Oscar’s. The two men were bickering.

“Lando, you’re taking so fucking long! Move your ass!” Oscar said, annoyed and very clearly agitated.

Lando groaned, “I don’t want to go out! Leave me alone!”

John’s mouth was on the floor at the footage he was getting as Y/n and him slid into the penthouse, trying desperately to find a hiding place.

She picked up her suitcase, however heavy, and walked carefully down a separate hallway that seemed to lead to a closet.

The two were close to getting there, out of sight, when Lando’s footsteps sounded close to them, rapidly approaching their location.

“Did the elevator just open?! I heard it!”

Y/n held her breath as she and John ran like hell into the first room they could find, it being a guest bedroom. She locked the door, listening intently to whatever was unfolding on the other side.

Oscar seemed to be feet away from her, “No, mate, it fucking didn’t. Now, can we leave? We have your birthday dinner to go to!”

Lando scoffed, “Fine, but if there is an intruder in my room and they end up stealing all my stuff, you’re paying for it.”

Knowing it was Y/n and the cameraman, Oscar nodded along, “Sure, mate.”

The elevator dinged once more with the two of them ready for departure, Lando giving, “And, for the record, I don’t even know why we’re going to a dinner for my birthday. I told you my birthday won’t be the same without Y/n. I told you I didn’t want to celebrate it if she wasn’t here.”

Y/n could see Lando’s pouty demeanor in her head along with Oscar’s dismissive face as he retorted, “Uh huh.”

—-

Thankfully, the rest of it all had gone smoothly. Dropping her things off after they left, getting ready, and getting to the restaurant all went according to plan.

In the last moments in the car before Lando was made aware of the things going on behind his back, John brought out the camera, “How you doing?”

Y/n nodded slowly, “Kind of nervous?” She giggled, shaking her head, “I don’t know. I just hope he didn’t catch on or anything.”

John blew a raspberry, “No way he did. I mean, that hotel thing was a super close call, but he didn’t know. I’m sure he doesn’t know.”

His words reassured her and, as they turned the corner with the destination seconds away, she said one last thing to the camera, “Lando, if you ever end up watching this, I don’t know if you watch these, I just want you to know I love you so much and I’m so proud of you and I hope you know I will stop at nothing to spend your birthday with you. You’re a fool for thinking I wouldn’t be here. I know I can say all of these things when I see you because I’m about to, but I think this just has a different impact. Plus it lets everybody know you’re mine. By the way, next time, take a shorter amount of time to get ready please. Jesus Christ, you gave me a heart attack earlier today when I had to run around your hotel room and find a hiding place because you wouldn’t leave.”

At that, the valet opened her door and she stepped out. John kept the footage going, knowing they would arrive at the grand finale any moment, and followed her into the establishment.

She walked up to the hostesses, the two women smiling back at her, “Hi, I’m here for the Norris reservation. I’m a bit late, I know, but I’m surprising the birthday boy.”

The workers’ faces lit up in realization, “Oh, you’re the girlfriend? His friend, the Australian, sorry I forgot his name, told us you would be coming. Right this way, miss.”

The brunette turned around and began walking toward the back, toward a private room. She made light conversation along the way, mentioning that Lando had spent the majority of their waiting for the table rambling about how much he wanted to call Y/n.

She was blushing by the time they stopped outside of the door that led to where the party was, thanking the woman for directing them and moving to face John.

“Ready?” She asked, looking at the camera to make sure that red light was blinking.

He nodded, “Always.”

She took a deep breath and opened the door lightly. Lando’s back was to her, Max, Oscar, and his parents facing her. She could tell they were trying to hold in their excitement as Lando retold a story about her and him getting ice cream one night at 3 AM. Their smiles were just barely being withheld from their faces as she waved to them softly and John stationed himself at an angle where the camera could see Lando’s reaction when he turned around.

He continued on, blissfully unaware of the girl behind him, “And then she said this really funny joke! Oh, crap, I can’t remember what it was. It was some cheesy dad joke about ice cream and I remember laughing so hard I almost peed my pants. Shit, what was it?”

A silence mulled over as he tried to remember, Y/n noticing her perfect cue, “I said, ‘why are popsicles so snobby?’ And you said you didn’t know, so I said, “they have a stick up their butt’. I’m pretty sure you did pee your pants laughing.”

She saw the way Lando’s hands tightened around the glass of water he was holding. He froze, “Am I going insane or is Y/n standing behind me?”

Cisca, the woman smiling from ear to ear, “She’s behind you, love.”

The glass came clattering down as he shot up from his chair and turned around wide-eyed.

“Y/N!” He screamed, running over to her and forcefully crashing into her, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

She laughed loudly as he kissed her neck aggressively, a thousand times over again. She let her arms intertwine around his neck and her hands tangle in his hair, whispering, “Happy birthday, baby. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I love you so much. You deserve all this and more.”

He pulled away, eyes glossy as he stared down at her and held her to him, “I missed you so much.”

She smiled back, “It’s only been a week, Lan.”

He scoffed, “Yeah, and that’s way too fucking long.”

She nodded as he leaned down and captured her lips with his, his friends whooping behind him teasingly.

He pecked her lips innocently, saving what he really wanted to do for the later part of the night, and led her to the table.

John and Y/n took their rightful seats, teeth on display at the success of their plan. John, being the perfect cameraman, continued to catch moments shared between the couple throughout the rest of the night. Lando’s hand interlocked with hers on the table, his kiss to her over the gift she got him, the way his hands securely held her hips on the side of the road while they waited for their car, the way he hugged her and whispered in her ear how happy he was to have her there with him, and everything in between.

Sweet, gentle instances that showed everyone just how in love the two were. Lando’s soft eyes resting on hers when she came into view was something that every fan couldn’t let go of the week later when it was posted. Everyone fawned over the two like they were destined to be together, fated in the stars.

Because they were and they always would be.

[starkeysprincess]

Love, tell me if this sounds insane but I can totally see psycho rafe getting you a spreader bar so he can use you whenever he wants and doesn’t have to worry about keeping your legs open, stretching them apart to the point that it hurts but he can see every crevice of your pretty cunt.

I can also see him being all amused when one day he’s lying you down and spreading you out to fuck you and you’re starting your period and he’s making comments about how he should’ve bred you harder last time because it didn’t work and now “she’s all sad, just wants to have my baby” and even though him breeding you now obviously wouldn’t work, he’s still gonna do it cause “I gotta make her feel better, right?”

bestie this isn’t insane at all cause i agree 🙂‍↕️ once again i slightly went overboard—oops

i see him using a spreader bar that includes binds for your wrists and ankles. he’d cuff them around your ankles, spreading your legs open, stretching them apart, hell—he’ll go beyond and stretch them to the point it’s uncomfortable and it hurts but he doesn’t care about your comfort cause nothing is gonna stop him from needing to see every inch and crevice of your exposed cunt

once he’s done and he’s got you all stretched out for him, the next thing he’s doing is cuffing your wrists, not only to make sure you take what’s he giving you but to keep you from pushing and writhing away from him.

when he uses it, he likes having you on your back, legs and arms raised up and above your head and knowing you being held in that position for so long makes your body ache and hurt makes him 10x harder. another one of his favorite positions with the spreader bar is having you face down, ass up with your bound wrists underneath you and legs spread open.

one day he had you spread out for him, your legs raised and pressed against your tits and you’re whining that you just got your period, thinking he’ll uncuff you or be grossed out

but he literally would NOT care !!!

in fact, he’d be more amused yet disappointed, making comments about how he should’ve fucked and bred you properly

“poor little cunt is crying f’me to put a baby inside”

“gotta give her what she wants and breed her better, make sure she’s nice and full”

“gonna fill and plug this sweet cunt so none of my cum goes to waste”

rafe knows it wouldn’t work but it’s not gonna stop him cause ‘practice makes perfect’ + “gotta make her feel better, yeah?”

[thelov3lybookworm]

Journals

Summary: everyone is happy

•○●⛦●○•

Tw: heavyyyy angst, sad lil fic (literally what i named this before i came up with a title), mental health issues, depression, feeling unworthy of love, panic attack, self harm, self hate. thats all i can think of right now, but let me know if i need to add anything

A/n: based on this and this poetry by @gardenofrunar 🤭 you couldnt tell it was me could you pookie?

also, there is not really a bat boy our reader is supposed to be with, so im tagging this as all three of them. there will most probably not be a second part to this, but still, lemme know hat you all think

AND, im not trying to glorify what reader is going through in this fic. if you are going through something, please talk to someone. you are not alone, my loves ❣️

anyways, enjoyyyy!!

It was happening again.

The breathlessness was starting to creep up again on her.

And the worst part wasn't the fact that she felt like she was dying.

It was that she was alone. Again.

No one was coming. No one cared. No one would even realise she was gone until it was too late, and maybe that was a miracle.

Click.

The haze cleared slightly, and gasping for breath, Y/n stood, somehow making it to the stairs leading to her bedroom before her lungs constricted again.

She had no other option as she crumbled on the stairs, the hard wood digging into her sides and thighs.

She could not breathe.

She could not think.

She could not move.

She could not breathe.

A cruel laugh broke through her consciousness, the sound so familiar yet so foreign, Y/n could not help but sob.

You deserve this.

Azriel. It was him, no doubt. But the longer she sat there, other voices started joining in.

First Cassian. Then Mor, Rhysand. Amren.

Feyre, Nesta. Elain.

"Stop." She whispered, her hands shaking as she rose them to her ears, pressing as hard as she could. But no matter how much she tried to ignore it, the clearer the words became.

You deserve this.

You don't deserve us.

It's your own fault.

In an attempt to get away, to get some peace and quiet, she reached out, clutching the stair. The wood grains whispered against her palm, their sound lost to ears filled with taunts and laughter.

Still, she dug in her fingers, her nails screaming in protest, her heart yelling back in a horrific screech, beating loud enough to almost drown out her family.

Almost.

Pulling herself up, she reached out her hand, ignoring the pain as she did her best to haul her dysfunctional body up the hard terrain, trying to make it to her bed before she lost herself fully to the dark depths of her mind, losing all sense of her being.

Somehow, having no recollection of the climb, Y/n collapsed at the landing, her breathing erratic as she stared at the blurry paintings on the wall, gifted to her by Rhysand's mate.

Had they always been this blurry?

In the back of her mind, she realised that they were never blurry. There were just tears in her eyes, but she didn't think too much about that as she crawled forward, miraculously crossing the threshold to her room, the familiar smell of flowers Elain had gifted her last week pulling her out of her misery for a moment, enough to let her get up and stumble into the plush material of her bed before tears again erupted in her eyes.

They then came back, screaming in her ears about how much of a disappointment she was, how she deserved no happiness.

And she agreed with them.

But still, it hurt her heart to hear the people she cared for voice thoughts she only limited to the darkness of night, under the gentle presence of the moonlight.

You don't deserve happiness.

She knew the inevitable onslaught of her self hatred was about to break over her head, knew it was unavoidable and would probably have her moping for days.

Her mind started wandering, which in itself was alarming because as much as she wanted to stop thinking about her miserable life, she knew that any and all thoughts she had at these times would only work against her.

Rhys's tear stained cheeks, his bloodshot eyes and his quiet sobs as he clutched Y/n's hands between both of his, Y/n's soft cooing as she tried her best to soothe his wounds after his mother and sister's death.

As she held him after his return from under the mountain.

This was going to be a long night, she was sure.

Cassian's grumpy self refusing to eat after one of the Illyrians had again bullied him for not being good enough. Y/n's cheeks aching from how hard she was trying not to smile as she tried to convince the overgrown illyrian to eat something.

Azriel's shaky hands as she held onto him after a particularly bad nightmare that usually started keeping him up around the time his hands were burned, the anniversary o the time where an innocent little boy realised that the world was filled with cruelty.

Y/n being the first one to find out about Mor's liking in women and helping her sneak out to meet her lovers.

Y/n dragging gallons of fresh blood to Amren's apartment under the cover of the night when she knew the ancient being hadn't had the time to feast.

Her hands scrambled to find something to tether herself to, to remind her that this was not real and that it would pass. That her family did love her, and that they would never hurt her or want her to think this way of herself.

They would never hurt her the way she hurt herself.

They just wouldn't... would they?

Rhys's wide smile as he admired his mate while she spoke to a grinning Cassian, who in turn turned to Azriel to tease the blushing Illyrian. Mor, giggling over her glass of wine as she mumbled something to Elain, Nesta and Amren conversing in hushed tones next to the window, happiness shining on both their faces.

And Y/n watched on, huddled in her own little corner as she gulped down another glass of champagne, trying to focus on the burn in her throat as the liquor travelled down. Trying not to think of the way her breathing started coming in shorter pants, her lungs constricting in the too small rib cage that were set on killing her.

Trying to ignore the tang of copper in her mouth as she bit her own tongue, not wanting to speak and draw attention to herself, to ask for help because she was too unused to suffering in silence. Her family had always been there, and she had never had to go even a day without their constant nagging. She always had at least one of them guiding her through the worst of her days.

Trying not to think of how no one even glanced up as she exited the room, tears prickling her eyes, feeling like she was nothing but an intruder, watching from outside the warmth of the house, standing knee deep in the cold snow as she tried her best to keep warm by looking at the happy faces of her family, no matter how much she was freezing on the inside.

Her fingers curled around the lumpy material of her comforter, and she pushed forward, trying to ignore the tears that rolled down her warm cheeks and buried her head in the soft fabric.

And then let out the ear piercing scream she had been holding in, uncaring that she had let down the sound shield around her room.

She knew no one was around to hear.

She knew no one would come.

They were all too happy to worry.

Her stomach was grumbling, and she was glad it was because otherwise it would've been the cause for concern, considering she hadn't eaten in almost a day.

She was still so tired and wanted to do nothing but lay in bed all day and cry, but she needed to eat too.

And so here she was, chopping up some vegetables in a daze, not really paying attention despite wanting to focus on something that took her mind off of her thoughts.

It was not easy to stop thinking, so when suddenly the fog in her mind cleared, she glanced down.

The red of her blood was bright, and the longer she stared, the quicker the pain came, but it was only a tiny sting, nothing more than the bite of an ant in the shape of a knife.

She stared, and stared.

And then, she lifted her eyes, her gaze settling on her dagger, unprompted.

She smiled.

Writing was one of the parts of Y/n's responsibilities. Writing a letter to help the relations between the courts. A report for the high lord.

It was one of the things that broke her out of her own mind's torture, one of the things that made her feel like she wasn't entirely useless.

So here she was, just scribbling away senseless words in her journal, knowing she would hide it away before anyone saw it. Saw the blood stains.

For the first time in weeks, she was smiling, no tears to be found in her eyes as she lay on her stomach on the bed, her legs in the air behind her as she began doodling little flowers in the corner of the page, her inkpot next to her and her dagger in her other hand.

She went to dip in her feather pen in the ink, frowning a little as it created spots of ink on the crumpled paper, mixing with the dark red liquid that still dripped slowly from her fingers, little rivulets running down from her wrist.

As she continued, a tap on her mental walls had her pausing, and after a brief conversation with Rhys, she got up, closing her journal and beginning to clean the cuts on her wrist and around the journal and then donning a flowy, simple white gown.

It wasn't long before a knock sounded at her door, and she hurried to open it to find Cassian standing on her front porch, smiling.

"Hey Y/n, Rhys asked me to pick you up-"

Y/n nodded. "Yes I know, let me just grab my things and then we can go."

He shrugged, leaning against the doorframe.

She ran up the stairs and to her bedroom, grabbing the little bag she had put all her pens and previous reports into, deciding to carry them with her just in case.

She hurried back out within a few moments, but she saw that Cassian had moved, standing near the gates. Which was suspicious, but not too alarming as she stepped onto the porch.

"Let's go."

Before she shut the door Y/n turned and glanced around the house for the last time. Why, she didn't know. But she couldn't shake the feeling in her gut that something was wrong.

And she had known to always trust her gut.

But she turned around, locking the door before leaving.

Not realising her journal was missing from the table.

"I really don't want to pressure you too much Y/n, so if you don't want to be a part of this research, I understand-"

"Rhys, this is no burden. I'm actually honoured you even considered me for this project."

His brows furrowed, his smile turning confused. "What are you talking about Y/n? You're one of the smartest people I know. Of course you are included-" he trailed off, his eyes filling with understanding. "How have you been Y/n?"

Y/n blinked, pretending not to understand what he meant by that. Of course Rhys knew she struggled with feeling worthy of her family, and of course he made that connection.

"I've been good, Rhys." Y/n mumbled, an easy grin on her face as if Rhys's concern was ridiculous.

"Have you had any recent episodes-"

"Guess what I found!"

He paused, both their heads turning to where Cassian's booming voice floated through the cracked door.

Y/n's whole body ran cold, and before she could even question the reaction of her body to something that wouldn't have concerned her before, she was stumbling out the door, following Cassian's voice to the sitting room, where everyone else was gathered.

Cassian was grinning as he explained to them how he had gone to pick Y/n's up from her house, and how he found-

Her secret diary.

Y/n's eyes widened, her legs refusing to move as her gaze locked on the book Cassian held in his hand.

"Oh, look, she's here too!" He turned to her, his expression carefree and inviting. "Never knew you had a diary Y/n. What will I find if I read through it? Your secret lover's name? His-"

"Cass." Y/n warned, finally getting herself to move forward as he danced back, his hands beginning to crack open the book.

"Will I find your secret fantasies-"

He stopped dead in his tracks, all the emotions gone from his face as he stared at the page he had opened, his features hard. Y/n waited with bated breath, her head turning to gauge everyone's reaction.

Mor sat with Nyx in her lap, bouncing him as she glanced between Y/n and Cassian. Feyre and Azriel exchanged confused glances before Azriel stood, stalking towards Cass.

Panicked, Y/n jumped forward, but before her hand could wrap around her journal, he pulled away, face pale.

"What is this?"

"None of your business."

Azriel had stopped, his eyes wide as he stared at Y/n.

That's when Y/n realised he had smelled the blood she left on the pages.

Damn it.

Y/n stepped back towards the exit as she felt all the eyes on her, panic starting to dig its claws in her gut and begin its ascent up her throat as the shadows curled around Azriel's ear and his eyes went to her wrist, covered by the long sleeves of her dress.

Y/n turned to find Rhys standing in the doorway, his eyes filled with tears.

"Why?"

She glanced once at everyone, tears starting to fill her own eyes, her face flushing in embarrassment, mad that she had started crying over nothing, and pushed past Rhys, running towards the front door.

"Y/n!"

They will be mad.

You deserve it.

Y/n fled the river house, ignoring the concerned looks thrown her way by the people on the streets as she ran straight to her house.

They hate you.

The door slammed shut behind her as she leaned against it, gasping for breath as her lungs started contracting painfully, refusing to let her breathe.

The breathlessness was starting to creep up again on her.

It was happening again.

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[nanamis-angel]

𝐒𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐬! ♡

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 ৹ you and yuji are classmates and you might have a lil crush on him. so what happens when nobara suddenly notices this and drags megumi along to "spy" on the both of you when you suddenly agree to go with yuji to the theater and watch some silly movie?

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 ৹ yuji x fem!reader, fluff, chaos, overall silliness, this is honestly more about nobara being chaotic and megumi being dragged along into it. megumi is lowkey a lil hater but I love him.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 ৹ 1.4k

𝐚/𝐧 ৹ because we all need a little silly jjk content after the most recent jjk leaks. also apologies for any improper grammar or misspellings, this is hardly proofread. (hearts divider by @/s-h-o-w-y).

“So really the theme of it is love!” You watched as Yuji, your fellow classmate, desperately tried to explain the plot of Human Earth worm four to Megumi and Nobara. Their facial expressions showed that they were clearly uninterested in it.

“Sounds childish, I’d rather spend my time on something worth it.” Nobara replied. Clearly they had two separate definitions of “worth it.”

Yuji’s eyes fell on Megumi, all big and beady as if he were begging him to agree. Megumi just scratched the back of his head. “I’m not really a big movie person.” He said, looking away as to try and push off Yuji’s plea casually.

After his friends answer, Yuji had a look of defeat on his face, disappointed that no one wanted to watch the movie with him. You knew it was something that he enjoyed and you didn’t want him to feel bad or that none of his friends cared about his interests, so you spoke quickly after seeing his face.

“Uh, I’ll go see it with you.” You said, hoping that it would fix Yuji’s sad mood.

Immediately, Yuji’s face lit up. “Really?” He asked.

But before you could even answer, he grabbed your hand and started for the door. “Great! Lets go!”

You yelped as he practically dragged you along with the biggest smile on his face—completely innocently. And out the door the two of you went.

Megumi and Nobara watched the scene with confused expressions before Nobara’s changed to one of contemplation. “Huh? What’s up with you?” Megumi asked, noticing her face.

“I know for a fact [Name] doesn’t like movies like that… So why would she agree to go?” Nobara spoke her thoughts out loud as a reply, furrowing her brows in confusion.

“What are you trying to get at?” Megumi asked, slightly irritated by her cryptic reply. Perhaps he was just slightly unaware of the possibilities that Nobara seemed to have caught onto really quickly.

Nobara seemed to connect the dots in her head. “Unless… She feels bad for Itadori because she likes him and that’s why she agreed to go!” She exclaimed proudly as if she had just solved some sort of mystery.

Megumi’s facial expression turned to one of confusion—maybe even with a little bit of shock before it fell into one of unamusement. “Are you serious?” he asked at her ridiculous notion. “She could totally just be pitying him. That doesn’t mean she likes him.”

“Are you a girl?” Nobara deadpanned, her stare like daggers.

Megumi’s brows furrowed. “What? No. What’s that got to do with anything?”

Nobara crossed her arms. “Exactly, so you don’t know how women function. I can see it in her eyes, she totally likes Itadori. And now you and I are going to go spy on them and get answers!”

“Are you crazy?” Megumi asked. “it’s not that big of a deal.”

“Pfft, says you.” Nobara taunted. “I’m bored and I know you are too, so let’s go! I need something exciting to happen around here!”

***

In the theater, you were awfully close to Yuji as the movie played. You had to admit the mad scientist was a little unnerving, even for you, a girl who fought curses every other day. So you found yourself instinctively latching onto Yuji’s arm and secretly wondering when the theme of “love” Yuji claimed was in the movie earlier was going to happen.

From the back of theater, Nobara was keeping her eyes fixed on the two of you towards the front. “Look, see? She’s holding on to his arm!” She whispered to Megumi.

The two of them (AKA Nobara and a very unwilling Megumi) had snuck into the theater so you and Yuji wouldn’t see them. Nobara had been paying close attention to you and Yuji the entire time in order to see any sort of affectionate exchange. Megumi, however, just blankly stared at the big screen, wondering how Yuji even enjoyed stuff like this.

Yuji chuckled as he felt your arm wrap around his in suspense. “The mad scientist is kind of crazy, isn’t he?”

You nodded your head. “Mhm, conducting experiments like that is psychotic.” You replied in a whisper. “When does the romance start?”

Yuji smiled. “Soon!” he replied.

Truly, on the inside, Yuji’s heart was absolutely soaring. Having you so close to him and so casually too—it made his heart clench. He had always had a little crush on you ever since meeting you, but out of respect for you, he never said anything.

He never wanted to make you uncomfortable or anything but knowing that you felt comfortable enough with him was making his absolute day.

Megumi had hear your voices and saw just how content Yuji looked. His brows furrowed in confusion. “It can’t mean anything. Itadori is always smiling.” He thought to himself. There was no way Nobara could be right about this… Or could she?

***

As the movie ended, you were shocked to see that the movie really was indeed about love and the main character had found love despite his unique and different circumstances. It was oddly endearing when you thought about it.

“Wow, I guess it really was about love.” You said as you and Yuji began to walk towards the exit together.

“Yeah! It was great, wasn’t it?” Yuji asked with a big smile.

You nodded and then felt your cheeks heat up as your hand brushed against his. But before you could do anything, Yuji took hold of it—his smile never fading. He had done it so casually it almost shocked you but you didn’t mind it. You averted your gaze however, not wanting him to see the embarrassed look on your face.

This was definitely not how you were expecting this to go but you didn’t mind. Besides… you had already been kinda crushing on your fellow classmate for quite some time already.

“They’re leaving!” Nobara alerted Megumi, shaking him. “Wait, are they holding hands?!”

In just a few seconds, Megumi attempted to get up from his seat and leave the aisle already and Nobara tried to push past him, trying to get a better look to see if you and Yuji were really holding hands or not. And then both of them toppled over each other onto the hard ground of the cinema.

Your head snapped over to where you could now see Megumi and Nobara on the floor. Megumi looked as if he were about to summon Mahoraga he were extremely agitated that Nobara had just sent him barreling for the floor and she looked like a caught kid the moment her eyes met yours.

Then, Yuji noticed them too. “Oh! Fushiguro, Kugisaki what are you doing here?” he asked, obliviously. “I thought neither of you wanted to come!”

Nobara rushed to her feet, scratching the back of her neck. “We changed our minds!” She lied, blurting out the words. “We just didn’t want to bother you guys!”

“Right.” Megumi gritted out as he got up and dusted himself off. He glared daggers at Nobara for a brief moment.

“Oh, well the movie was cool, right?” Yuji asked as the four of you continued to the exit. At this point, you and Nobara were counting on Megumi to answer the question.

As you walked out, you slowed to be right by Nobara. “You came to spy on me and Yuji, didn’t you?” You asked with a smug little grin.

Nobara sighed, knowing it was pointless to deny it. “Fine, you caught me. But I was so bored.” She spoke in defense of herself.

You let out a loud laugh. “And you dragged Fushiguro into this?” You snorted, wondering how she had even gotten Megumi out of the school and to the theater in the first place. Now that must’ve taken some convincing.

(Or perhaps Megumi was slightly intimidated by Nobara; which was reasonable.)

“Hey, at least I was right.” She huffed, crossing her arms. But then she looked at you with some curiosity in her eyes. “But I have to ask… when did you start taking interest in Itadori anyway? It feels like it came out of nowhere.”

“It kind of did.” You replied, your eyes set on Yuji, watching him as he walked and talked right beside Megumi. “I mean, I guess I’ve kind of liked him for a while but today was the manifestation, I suppose. He’s really sweet and he’s really passionate about the things he loves… Makes me wonder what he’d be like in a relationship.”

As your gaze was fixed upon him, Nobara could tell you were getting a little lost in your imagination and she knew exactly what that meant for you and Yuji in the next coming months.

Her look of curiosity immediately turned to a smug look and under her breath she whispered. “I was right. Take that, Fushiguro.”

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Country Rose 3

Warnings: age gap, power dynamics, creep behaviour, other dark elements. As usual, be mindful of your content consumption.

I also beg of you to leave me some tuppence in the form of a comment and/or reblog. You are cherished!

Enjoy, my loverlies.

You go down and find Martha in the kitchen. She smiles so brightly as you appear and offer to help her finish the corn. You can't help a sliver of glumness. Your mother never was so happy to see you. No, it's her disappointment that pushed you accept the job  to move away to the middle of no where. 

The more you think about it, the more you doubt yourself. To what end are you putting yourself through this desolate purgatory. It might be novel and peaceful now but you always tend to grow bored with the familiar. It's the very reason you flunked out of college. You couldn't do the same day over and over.  

"What are we making with the corn?" You ask, hoping the conversation can ease the tension, not just with Martha but in your mind. 

"Oh, I got some potatoes to roast and some beef. Homegrown," she explains, "you do a lotta cookin', sweetheart?" 

"Mostly out of boxes," you laugh, "but I'm willing to learn. How are you roasting the potatoes? Quartered? Sliced?" 

"Oh, you are so darned helpful," she brightens and gently taps your arm, "you can grab the sack just there," she points to the pantry door, "and give em a scrub before you cut em. Anyway you like. I'll pick out some seasonings." 

"Sounds like a plan," you agree. 

You set to work. You haul out the heavy canvas bag with a grunt and barely get it on the counter. Martha hands you a metal strainer, dented from years of use, and you fill it, rinsing the skins in the deep sink. 

"Clark said something about school," Martha says, "you'll learn a lot more out here." 

"Oh, yeah, dropped out," you turn and pick up the knife she set out with the thick board. "You know... just wasn't for me. My mom didn't want me sitting around and to be honest, I hate doing nothing." 

"Lots to do around here," she assures. 

She doesn't seem sad at the statement. She seems excited for your help. You're almost relieved as you expected cow dung and horse flies. 

"I'll be sure to carry my weight," you promise as you start chopping.  

"Mm, how sweet you are," she trills, "I see why Clark brought you here." 

"Uh, yeah, I'd hate to let him down. And it's a far way from home." 

"Why, you're grown. Not really meant to be home, is it? Finding your way like we all do," she hums and fills a pot with water, covering the corn cobs. 

Before she can attempt to lift it, you're at her side, "let me, please." 

"Oh, dang, you are just like, Clark," she mutters  "I'm not out to pasture just yet." 

"I know, but... it's heavy even for me," you assure her and show your effort as you carry the pot to the stove. 

"Mmm, still my house," she frowns and backs up. "Well, when I was your age, me and Jonathan were married for a while. Couple years but... no kids. Not til Clark came along." 

"Oh? How old were you when... when you had him?" You ask out if courtesy. You peek at her. You're not sure of her age and you're not bold enough to guess. Clark has to be at least in his mid-30s. 

"Oh, yes, about his age now," she answers as if reading your mind. "He's mine. Ours. Not by blood. Could never... you know..." she looks grim as she lowers her chin, "all the same, me and Jonathan never saw him as anything but ours." 

"Adopted?" You wonder. 

"Think we were meant to wait for him," she perks up, "anyway, how can I be sad with such a good son? Don't ya think?" 

"Yes, Clark is very nice," you agree. 

"Sweet boy," she preens, "strong, gentle, smart." She clasps her hands together, "I'm sure I don't need to say it." 

"Mm, uh huh," you murmur, not really sure what she means. 

“I know a lovely idea,” she says, “I have the meat marinating so why don’t you take him some of my sun tea? It’s his favourite.” 

“Ah, um, sure, I can do that.” 

“And take your time. You don’t gotta stay inside all day,” she chimes. 

“There’s a pitcher in the fridge. Put some ice in before you rush off. Have some yourself if you like.” 

You take the task as an opportunity to see more of the farm You pour a glass of the dark iced tea and add a few cubes of ice. Martha watches you go with a bright expression that leaves you a bit uneasy. It’s just her way, you guess. Maybe it’s a part of her condition. Clark mentioned she wasn’t quite herself. 

You head out and stop at the top step of the porch. You realise, you don’t know where to look for him. Instead, you look out at the fields and the barn, and the meeting of blue and green off on the horizon. It’s beautiful. You think this is what it feels like to have your breath taken away. 

“Hey,” Clark startles you as he appears. “Dinner already?” 

“Um, just tea, your mom sent it out,” you come down the steps to meet him. His skin glistens in sweat that dampens the edges of his shirt. The fabric clings to the thick muscles beneath.  

“Thanks, you have any?” He accepts the glass and gulps deeply. 

“Not yet, maybe with dinner.” 

“How’s ma doing?” 

“Fine, fine. I’m just helping her. She seems happy.” 

“She would be,” he shrugs, “always wanted a daughter. Spoiled me for sure but I know. She would’ve done well with one.” 

“Yeah, uh, but she loves you.” 

“Well, yeah, but every mother wants a daughter,” he says, “what about you? How are you settling in?” 

“Um, good. It’s... different.” 

“For now,” he says, “but you’ll get used to it.” 

[writtenbymoonflower]

Mean Messages

Your family is mean to you and Remus is protective. blunt!remus x shy!reader, fem!reader, somewhat modern au

cw: mentions of toxic family/verbal abuse. A few swear words, self deprecating thoughts.

1.3k words

He hadn’t meant to see the text, honestly. He was just borrowing your phone to look something up when the text had flashed across the screen. 

At first he was confused, forgetting it wasn’t his phone he was holding, wondering if he had changed his parents name in his phone to a different honorific than usual and forgotten. Secondly, the content of the message confused him. It was aggressive, surprisingly cruel, and downright insulting. 

Then his confusion morphed into upset, when he realized it was you who was receiving the text. It was somehow more offensive knowing that someone was talking to his girl like that. His heart flared and ached to know that his sensitive dove had to read things like this, especially when you cared so much what family thought and how all you wanted was for them to love you. He didn’t know how to respond. 

Part of him wanted to answer the text himself and give your family member a piece of his mind. Another wanted to delete the message so you would never have to read such mean words. Most of all he wanted to tuck you into his chest and keep you away from all the bad things that could hurt you. He didn’t have time to settle on a response before you came back into the room. 

“Hey Rem, can I see my phone? I think Marlene was going to send me something funny she saw.” You pressed a kiss to his fluffy, mousey brown hair before reaching for the device. Remus just handed the phone over, deciding it was best to just let you read the text so he could be there when it makes you sad. You held the phone, still smiling brightly as you pulled up your messages from Marlene. You giggled as you looked at the video she had sent. Then, he saw a few more taps of your fingers before your face fell. 

“I think someone else messaged you too, I saw a text flash up while I was searching for that thing.” He could see the panic flash in your eyes at the thought that he had seen the text.

“Did you read it?” You asked nervously, looking down at your socked feet. Remus decided to just put you out of your misery and talk about it. You didn’t always let him into your mind as much as he would like, maybe he could start to change that by taking the lead. 

“Yeah dovey, I did.” He gave you a sad smile, emotion swimming in his honey colored eyes. 

“Oh…” You trailed off. You didn’t know what to think. A small part of you was happy, as much at it ashamed you. Happy that he had this peek into your pain that you didn’t have to go through actually telling him. That maybe he could fix it and you wouldn’t even have to ask. But mostly you were worried. Worried about him asking questions and aggravating recently scabbed wounds by talking about it. You also worried about his opinions on the sender. Sure, you had your own issues with your family, but it seemed like when other people found out what your family was like they said all these scary things. They would mention words like toxic, cruel, unhealthy, manipulative.

Sure, those words sounded right. It made sense in your brain. Part of you even felt relieved when other people took issue with your family, like they were affirming all the pain and tears shed over their words and actions.

But the little “what if?” in your brain told you that maybe your family was right. Maybe you’ve tricked yourself and everyone around you into thinking you’re good. 

What if Remus read the message and agreed? 

What if he is about to tell you that all the things your family says about you are true. That you’ll never be good enough, that you’re a disappointment to everyone around you. You’re a burden on everyone and-

“I can hear your mind going a mile a minute, sweet thing.” He was looking at you with all the tenderness in the world. Remus thought you looked like a kicked puppy, all sad and reserved. He was trying to keep calm but his anger was brewing. No one had the right to talk to his girl like that.

He beckoned you over to sit on the couch next to him “What made them say that to you?” He asked gently. 

“I don’t even know anymore. We were just talking and then it turned.” You stared down at the phone in your hands, eyes scanning the text over and over again. 

“Well, my opinion biased by you being my girlfriend,” He smiled at you, leaning down to meet your eye line. “But, I think that if they can’t get their feelings across without being horrible to you, then maybe you shouldn’t take their feelings to heart, yeah?” He continued to scan your face, looking for emotion. 

“Maybe.” You acknowledged his sweetness a little, though only for his benefit. Either way, he seemed happy at that. “But they do love me, you know? At least they say they do. And they’ve known me my whole life. It’s at least true to them.”

“Maybe.” Remus forced out, barely even wanting to entertain the thought that the rude message had any basis in reality. “But maybe they don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. Or it’s easier to blame their shit on you than to do the work themselves.” He said the whole response in an even tone but the bluntness caught you off guard. Your eyes widened in shock. 

“Remus, it’s not that simple. They wouldn’t be so upset if I didn’t do something.” You tried to keep your voice from quivering, still doing everything in your power to not keep his gaze. 

“Maybe you did do something. But who’s to say it was wrong? Really think to yourself. Dovey, when you think of nice people, people you want to be, is it them? Would you send a message like that to someone? Someone who just wants to show you love? Because I know that’s all you want. You’re always trying to appease them and do right by your family. But you can’t spend your life begging for love from people who don’t have any to give. You aren’t responsible for them not being able to love healthily.” 

Something in his words made you start to break down. Your face scrunched up awfully and your throat was clogged with emotion. Remus wasted no time pulling you into his side. 

“Just because they’re related to you doesn’t mean they get to treat you like that. Sometimes, when someone speaks to you like that, it says far more about them than it does about you. I think-” He paused, searching for the right words. “I think, from what you’ve told me, they have a lot of pain. And I think that they need a way to feel better, a way to feel big, and they don’t know how to without making someone feel worse. I’m sorry they’re taking it out on you, baby. You don’t deserve that.” He punctuated his point by pressing kisses all over the top of your head. You breathed out shakily. 

“Thank you.” You whispered. If Remus wasn’t so close he might not have heard it. 

“You don’t have to thank me, sweet girl.” He was being extra mushy with you today, you could tell. It was funny, his sweetness felt so foreign. Almost unsettling. Though in the time you’ve been dating you’ve grown used to his small signs of affection, Remus could tell that you hadn’t grown up with many kind people, so he went out of his norm to be as adoring as you deserved in his mind. 

“You’re being very sweet considering how blunt you were a few seconds ago.” You chuckled wetly. 

“It’s the duality of manhood, dovey. And besides, I’m only this sweet on people who deserve it.” He pulled your cheek to his curled up lips so he could cover more sweetness over the side of your face. You could both worry about the text later, he needed to chase out all the nasty thoughts first.

[diremoone]

christmas overload | g. satoru

prompt 3 — “It’s our baby’s first Christmas. I don’t think they’re going to remember you buying them all of these stuffies.”

requested by anon: pleaseee bless us with gojo and christmas prompt 3 pleaseeeee

[ Christmas Prompt List ]

[ Christmas Event Masterlist ]

“I know you have money out the ass, Satoru, but was this really necessary?”

“Absolutely.”

The man looks 100% confident, not an ounce of shame written across his face. In fact, he looks like he’s never been more happy with himself, ego ballooned farther than even you thought was possible.

Underneath the multicolored lights of the ten foot Christmas tree are stuffies galore. You note that there are several dozen more presents under the tree than there were before you’d taken a nap, but those seemed to be nothing compared to all of the stuffed animals and plushies surrounding the tree and taking up so much space in the living room.

Your 6’3 husband stands proudly before said tree, hands on his hips dramatically with a fat smile on his face.

“You think Satsuki will like it?” Satoru asks.

“I think she’s going to go crazy over it,” you answer. And Satoru’s grin gets impossibly bigger, simple on full display. But then you add something else to the sentence, making his happy smile plummet. “But she’s only eight months, Satoru. I don’t think she’s going to remember you buying all of these stuffies and presents.”

Satoru’s shoulders slump. He knows that you’re right; she’s too little, too tiny to remember her overexcited Daddy spoiling her on her very first Christmas.

Guilt courses through you at the sound of a sad sniffle coming from him. Satoru’s large body sits next to yours on the couch, leaned over to rest his elbows on his knees.

“I just wanted her first Christmas to be special,” he mutters.

“And it is, baby,” you say. You rub his back in comfort. “She’ll know her daddy tried to spoil her on her first Christmas, she just… won’t remember. Not this year.”

His cheeks puff out as he huffs. He looks at you with shiny eyes, laced with what you know to be disappointment, and asks, “Are you sure she won’t remember?”

“Unless she’s got some unreal ability to remember this right now that we don’t know about, I’d say so,” you reply. “But it’s not like there won’t be pictures for her to remember later in life.”

“That’s true, but I want her to remember them now!” he whines childishly.

“Sorry to disappoint, babe.” You ruffle his hair. “That’s just the way it is. Give it a few years and then you’ll get what you want.”

Satoru sighs and leans back against the back of the couch. He covers his eyes with his arm dramatically. “I guess.”

And then the doorbell suddenly rings, making you jump. You weren’t expecting anyone today, so who in the world was at the front door?

Cries fill the air. No doubt the doorbell woke up your eight-month-old daughter.

Satoru stands. “You get Satsuki, I’ll get the door.”

You head toward the nursery, opening the ajar door to find your precious girl awake and upset with tears and snot running down her face. Her wails turn to soft cries as her pretty blue eyes that match her daddy’s meet your own. You slide your hands under her back and head and lift her to your chest. Her soft cries turn to soft sniffles as she snuggles her head into the crook of your neck.

“It’s okay, ‘Suki. I know the doorbell scared you,” you soothe her, rubbing her back up and down gently. “Sorry, sorry. Come on, let’s go see your papa. He’ll protect you, won’t he?”

Satsuki sniffles and nods, snuggling impossibly closer into your hold like she’s agreeing with you.

You head back into the living room, only for your mouth to drop to the floor.

Beside the Christmas tree, on either side, was a massive plush Baymax and a gigantic teddy bear just as big. Resting against the front door is a stuffed reindeer that’s almost as big, its big fat red nose showing that its Rudolph.

Satoru looks at you sheepishly, scratching at the back of his head.

“Too much?”

You nod, mouth still ajar. “Too much.”

But your baby girl doesn’t think so. She immediately starts clapping and reaching for the giant teddy bear that’s closest to her out of the three.

Satoru’s sheepish grin turns into one of absolute enthusiasm and love at the sight of his baby reaching for one of the presents he’s gotten her. He practically skips over to you and scoops up the white-haired princess.

“Did Daddy do a good job? You like the presents Daddy got you, my little Princess Mochi?”

The gleeful energy from the two combined is absolutely infectious. You laugh as Satoru spins his eight-month-old daughter through the air, bubbly shrieks of delight escaping her lips.

Yeah, you’d tell Satoru she had some sort of ability to remember her first Christmas, just to keep the smile on his face.

taglist:

@vagabond-umlaut @heresan @4sat0ruu @nayrring @missmuffinr @itzmeme @torusmochi

[cameronspecial]

Let Me Get You A New One, Angel

Pairing: Frat!Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: N/A

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.5K

Summary: Y/N made a disappointing drop and Rafe wants to make her feel better.

Masterlist

Y/N isn’t one for makeup or materialistic items, yet it is still disappointing when she drops the brand-new makeup palette that she got on sale. The smooth surface of the eyeshadow is no more and it breaks her heart, which causes a slight pout on her face. Rafe doesn’t like coming home to the sight of his girlfriend’s frown. “What happened?” he asks, following her gaze to what she is holding. He remembers her talking about a new eyeshadow palette she was going to buy today. “Is that the new palette? Can I see?” Her facial expression doesn’t change as she hands it over to him. He can see the bumps in the powder, “Did you try out the colours already? Do you have pictures?” She shakes her head and takes back the container in her hand. “No, I dropped it and now it’s all unsmooth before I could even use it,” she explains. Rafe nods and brings her into a hug, “Is that why you are upset, Angel?” “Yeah. I know it’s silly. It’s just so unsatisfying that it’s like that before I can even use it. I know people have bigger problems and this is the world's tiniest violin moment, but I was so excited to use it,” she confides. Rafe’s head shakes, “I don’t think it’s silly. I understand how you feel. How about you let me get you a new one, Angel? And then you can use that one from brand new.” “No. No. It’s okay. I have this one and I don’t want it to go to waste. I’m going to go take a shower.” She gives him a kiss and heads to the bathroom. He knows that she doesn’t want him to do it, but it kills him to see her so sad.

———

The next day, Y/N comes back home from class to find her side of the bed littered with different makeup palettes and at the top of the stack is the one she dropped yesterday. She finds Rafe already looking at her with a tentative smile. “I said that I didn’t want you to buy it again,” she whispers. He stands up to approach her, “I know, Angel. I just wanted to make you feel better.” 

“I know you do, but what am I going to do with the one I bought?”

“I already took care of that. I sent it to Sarah. She doesn’t mind using it and she even told me what other palettes you might like.” 

“Thank you. After going through all this for me, you must think I'm pretty childish.”

Rafe disagrees, “I don’t think that, Angel. I know you like having things a particular way and there is nothing wrong with wanting things to be perfect.” “I guess you are right. And it’s not like it is going to waste if Sarah is going to use it,” she agrees. “Exactly, so don’t worry about it, Angel. Why don’t you try out your new makeup? I want to see you model your new colours,” he suggests, walking her over to her bed. She nods and grabs the palettes, “I’ll start with the new one of the one that I bought yesterday. You know, just in case I drop it again.” Rafe laughs at her mocking herself. “Sounds like a plan, Angel. I can’t wait to see how stunning you make the makeup.” 

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @queen-shadow22 @victory-in-the-llama @drewsmusee @starkowswife

[slowlydifferentbluebird]

Timing

Hello there, people. This fic is a gift for my on of my besties, who really needed some TripleS fics to read and as a fellow stan, I agree. This is my first attempt writing about them on this blog, if I'm not wrong, so why don't start with a good dose of angst? Let me know if if you liked it and if you would like to see more of them 💙

Knock knock. "Manager, can I come in?", Yooyeon knew it was your rest day and that you deserved to have a good rest after all the hard work you have done for her and the other 23 members, and yet she still wanted to be the one to wake you up in the morning. Maybe you two could have been outside for breakfast and then have a nice walk in that park you always talk about. Not receiving any answer, she decided to get in; the light was dim, just few sun rays were able to penetrate through the curtains of your window. "Sorry to come in...", she said in a light tone, before noticing you were still deeply sleeping in your bed. She smiled sweetly at your calm face, laying on the white pillow. Another couple of steps and then...the disappointment. Hidden by blankets, Yubin was also sleeping between your arms, the happiest expression showing on her face. She had to suppress the loudest sigh to not wake up the both of you. She went back on her steps, biting her bottom lip and doing her best to hold her tears. "Mhh...did your hear anything, Yubin?", you asked, looking around confused; you were sure that you heard the door being opened and closed again few moments ago. "I'm sure the members were just playing and being loud as usual...go back to sleep", Yubin answered lazily, before nuzzling against your chest and pulling you even closer in her embrace. Yeah, she was probably right, it was nothing to worry about for sure.

Few hours later, around the middle of the morning, you decided to wake up, when Chaeyeon almost kicked down the door to kidnap Yubin and bring her to the living room to replicate who knows which TikTok trend. You groaned, bothered by the interruption of your peace, before strenching your body; it was too bad but it was worth to start your day at that point. You came out of your bedroom just to receive the greetings and hugs of all members as every morning: Nien, Kotone, Kaede, Lynn, Yeonji...as you went around the three dormitories you met all the girls...well, except one. "Seoyeon, do you know where Yooyeon is? I have still not seen her this morning", you asked to S1, that usually was the quickest way to know about everyone whereabouts. "I'm pretty sure I heard her going out few hours ago, but she didn't tell me where was directed too. Maybe she went to study for her exams", she explained, shrugging with nonchalance before returning to her Mario Kart challenge with Mayu. You nodded, convinced, it sounded plausible in your head, after all it was not the first time the oldest girl of the group disappeared to go to the library, furthermore it was not a secret that she was a lover of her privacy. You still decided to try to call her but it was all useless. You pouted sadly, you would have liked to bring her out this morning, doing breakfast together and maybe having a walk in the park you always tell her about. "Anyone down to go out for me?", you proposed in the living room where the majority of girls were, still intentioned to have a great rest day. An hand was lifted faster than all the others...

Yooyeon opened her eyes, meeting the blue sky and the bright sun, and then she removed the earbuds, stopping the music going on. Her healing time helped her to calm her down. She checked her phone and she was surprised to discover a couple of missed calls from you. She felt so stupid, she was there acting all edgy and sad on a random bench when you were looking for her. She dialed your number, she took a deep breath...and then she saw you: you and Yubin were walking laughing and teasing each other, your arms linked and two big smiles on yours faces. Once again the girl had to try her best to not launch her phone away or walking towards you and cursing, but in the end she just stayed still, looking at her manager and friend disappear in the crowd. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, why am I so stupid?", Yooyeon scolded herself, running back to the dorm, this time failing to hold her tears, the images of you and Yubin on your happy date hurting her heart and mind.

When you went back to the dorm, you were so exhusted. Yubin made you walk around all day, going in and out at every shop she was interested in. Also, you really appreciate her company, but she seemed to be in a very good reasons that day so she was very hyper. Also, Yubin was known for being a bit of a tease, but she never stopped to flirt until you got home. And talking about home...the atmosphere was completely different since when you went out. All the girls were gloomy and their eyes had a worried look. "Dahyun, what happened?", you asked, almost whispering. "I'm not sure...during lunch Yooyeon unnie came back crying. She ran in her room and closed herself inside, not letting anyone go inside", she explained, making your heart sink for some reasons. What did happen to her? Yooyeon was a smart and strong girl, it was so rare to see her crying, and you are pretty sure no one has ever seen her breaking down...well, until today at least.

You walked till her room, you could already hear her faint sobbing from outside the room. You wondered for a couple of minutes about what to do in this situation and eventually you gathered the courage to knock on the door and go in. "Hey Yoo, are you alrig-", your question was immediately interrupted when the girl realized you were the one talking to her. "GO OUT! NOW!", she shouted at you, almost scaring you: you have never seen her so angry nor her voice so loud. "Yoo, calm down. Why don't we try to talk so you can explain to me what's wrong?", you proposed, but that only made things worse. "Are you kidding me? Are you a fool or what? This is all your fault", she said, getting up and hitting your chest with her index finger. "Me?", you questioned in a whisper, totally lost after her accusation. "Yes, you! You are nothing more than a player and a liar", at every words her fingers kept hitting you, but actually you were more hurt by the names she was calling you. "What? How come? What have I done to deserve this treatment?", you asked, your expression a mixture of shock and offense. "Go ask that to Yubin", she answered harsly, almost spitting out her words. That sentence alone was enough to make your eyes roll back in annoyance. "Oh my God, don't tell me you are making such a mess just because I had a friendly date with Yubin", you groaned, facepalming now that the whole situation was becoming more clear. "Friendly my ass! You don't sleep with your friends", she burst out, throwing her pillow at you. Luckily you were fast in catching it. "She came in my room in the middle of the night, totally scared because of a nightmare, what was I supposed to do? Send her back?", you scoffed at her accusal, now she was being irrational. On the other hand your explanation made sense to the oldest girl, but still it didn't sit right with her. "Sure, like if she has not roommates to go for these cases. And she's not already 19 or something? What are you? Her babysitter?", she attacked once more, her most immature side slowly crawling out. "Don't talk like that about Yubin, you are leader, you should protect her, not mock her. Furthermore everyone has its own shits to deal with, so stop judging", you were quick to block her tantrum, scolding her as rarely you did in your time as her manager. "You're right, it's not her fault, it's yours: after all why don't invite her to a romantic date after sleeping together?", her tone full of sarcasm was really hitting your nerves at that point. "Oh, you're being ridiculous right now. I went out with her just because you were not home", you gritted her teeth, once more having to explain obvious stuff to her. "What...no, you're lying...", she puts her hands together, conflicted about believing you or not. "I'm not! Otherwise why would I have called you three times this morning?", you gave her the final proof of your innocence, making all the wrong thoughts about you crumble at once. There was nothing more to add, only silence remained in the room.

You skipped dinner, you were no hungry at all after that absurd fight. You were on your bed, brooding about if you had done the right thing. Were you too tough? Maybe you could have handled the situation in a different way or time. But no, you had to sort it out quickly, the following day the girls would have had a schedule, there was no time for any problem. You surely didn't expect the deal to be you interacting with a member. Sure, it could have been misunderstandable, but Yooyeon had disproportionate reaction. Like, you didn't want to deny the reality: you and Yoo had something going on. The problem is that you didn't know what that something was. It was this weird dynamic of slow-burning attentions and small gestures that didn't lead to absolute nothing in the past months...and yet, both of you felt attached to each other, at this point for Yoo maybe it was something more. But even if you really made a move with Yubin, could the other girl blame you? There was nothing concrete: not a kiss, not an affectionate moment, not even a date. What was she mad about? Sure, after Yooyeon made you notice, also Yubin bevahior was weird lately...

Knock knock. "Manager, can I come in?", speaking of the devil... Different person, different time, same words: the fate is such a fascinating thing, but you couldn't know that. "No, I prefer to stay alone at the moment", you replied, but your words were ignored. Despite those, Yubin came through anyway; she was wearing her night clothes and had a sleepy look on her face. "I know this is a wrong moment, but can I sleep here again?", she asked with nonchalance, sitting really close to you on the bed. "I don't think it's appropriate, Yubin", you tried to act professional in front of her but the girl could easily read your feelings. "Is this because of what Yooyeon unnie said about me?", she blurted out, now she was more awake than ever. "Did you hear us?", you sighed, scratching your neck embarassed. "Yes, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, but honestly almost any member could hear you two because of how loud you were being", she confessed, shrugging that weight from her shoulder. Shit, another problem to solve the following day, but in that moment you had other to think about. "Don't be angry to your unnie, I'm sure she didn't mean to be rude or anything, she was just mad...", you tried to reassure her, but actually there was no need of that. "Oh, I'm not angry at all. Honestly if I was here, I would also be mad at me", she said that with such a calm that you couldn't help to be puzzled. "W-what...what do you mean by that?", your eyebrows furrowed and you start to sweat, already knowing what she had in her mind. "Did you notice any changement in me lately? Did you not realize I'm being more...affectionate lately?", she tilted her head, her body moving closer to yours. "I mean...y-yeah, I've noticed that, of course, it was hard to not get that...but I thought it was we were becoming friends?", you proposed this explanation, but even you were not believing to this version, your nervous stuttering the proof of that. "Friends? I'm not interested in that shit", she scoffed, before moving to sit in your lap, her arms around your neck. "Yubin, I don't think this is approp-", you tried to stop her in extremis, a last chance to not mess up everything; however your attempt was easily canceled by the girls lips, meeting yours in a stolen kiss, that gave butterflies in each other stomach. For the first time that day, everything, any problem, any troble, any doubt just vanished: it was just you, Yubin, her soft lips and her arms pulling you closer.

Once someone really wise said that life is all about timing. Nothing more true. Yubin was faster to show her interest, to confess her feelins, to make you hers. Sadly it was not the case of Yooyeon, that was slow, too slow in every field, too scared of her own feeling to act up. And even after your fight, a sort of final warning, she was still late. Few minutes made the difference between being the one claiming you and the reality: standing behind your door, an hand silencing her disperate sobs, regretting any chance she wasted as a fool.

[ahszoebns]

Not just a one night stand. Colby Brock

Y/n's POV:

I sigh as I look myself over in the mirror of my best friend's, Kat’s, house before I call out to her.

"Kat I don't know about this, I feel stupid..." I confess feeling completely unsure about the costume she got me for her Halloween party that will start any minute now. Unamused that I told her I didn't feel like dressing up she told me she'd buy the perfect costume and if I didn't wear it I would not be allowed to come. Reluctantly I agreed, however, seeing myself in the slightly skimpy fallen angel outfit I wish I would have just stayed home. At least she didn't make me wear the fake blood on my face I guess.

Dressed as Morticia from the Addams family she pokes her head into the doorway and her eyes light up instantly. "What?! Why not it's perfect! You look so hot and you love the color black!"

"It's just a little much for me, Kat," I say, sighing trying not to disappoint her but also not understanding why on earth, besides for my love of the color black and darkness, she'd pick something like this for me.

"Exactly! Try something new, get out there, mingle!" She smiles and winks at me and now I suddenly know what all this is about.

I cross my arms over my chest and glare at her. "Is this about my love life again?" I ask her seriously and knowing she loves to try to set me up with anyone she deems fit the moment the opportunity presents itself as I have horrible luck in the dating world.

"What? No!" She lies trying to cover it with a laugh awkwardly. I glare at her again already knowing the truth. "Ugh, okay yes! But it's different this time I think you two will really hit it off!"

I groan running a hand through my hair. "Katrina girl, I love you, but you have to stop trying to set me up okay? I barely ever even get a first date out of them, I'm not like you, boys just don't fall at my feet."

She rolls her eyes. "Was is that suppose to mean? She asks.

"It means I'm not famous, I'm not talented, I'm not a youtube icon, I don't have a hair and makeup team on call, I'm just me," I say exasperatedly at the fact that Katrina doesn't see how different dating is for the two of us. You may be wondering how in fact we even become friends but that's a long story that includes a horrendously embarrassing spilled coffee episode.

"Yeah but your kind and funny and interesting, and beautiful! There is nothing wrong with being you and I know for a fact this guy will absolutely fall head over heels for you." She says confidently crossing her arms to mirror mine trying to convince me. Sighing in defeat I sit down on the closed toilet that is clad with a slightly tacky but admittedly comfy lavender fuzzy cover. "And if we are so perfect for each other why haven't you introduced us before?"

I ask skeptically.

She comes closer so she can fix the hair I slightly messed up by running my hand through it before explaining. "Well he has been in a relationship until recently plus I haven't seen him in a while but he's finally on the market again!"

I look at her in complete surprise. "Kat! I don't want to be some sad and lonely guy's rebound!" I protest, causing her to purse her lips and glares at me.

"He's not like that!" She insists before going over to the mirror to touch up her make up one more time.

"He's a great guy, you'll love him." She says and I sigh. "Oh and not to mention he's a great kisser." She smirks before winking walking out of the room when the sound of the doorbell rings through the house.

"Wait how do you know he's a great kisser?!" I call out to her as I see her head down the stairs. She just giggles without an answer casually turning on the music. Oh god, what am I in for tonight?

Colby’s POV:

"How do I look?" I ask my best friend Sam as we approach the house of my friend Kat. She is throwing a huge Halloween / costume party tonight but that's not all. After being single for almost two months after my long-term relationship I'm finally ready to get back out there and Katrina said she wanted to set me up with one of her good friends. Although I was a little reluctant at first I agreed and well, here I am.

"Yes dude, don't be so nervous." Sam chuckles, nudging me.

I roll my eyes at him. "I actually want this to go well please excuse me for caring," I say sarcastically as I straighten my black devil costume out. My last relationship ended because it simply wasn't going anywhere. It had lost its spark and just became a game of who was willing to cave first. I'm ready to have something real again and to be with someone I truly care about and who truly cares about me.

"I'm telling you, you don't have to worry, you guys are seriously perfect for each other." He says trying to convince me not to get too worked up.

I nod and we walk inside the house booming with music and the smell of liquor around every corner.

Katrina sure does know how to throw a party. We start making our way to the bar passing a few people we know casually saying hi and waving but I know if I'm going to make it through the night I'm going to need a drink.

"Can I get a beer?" I ask the bartender quickly paying him.

Sam orders a drink too and then starts to look for Kat and whoever this mystery girl is. I down about half of my drink immediately before Sam sighs. "Ugh." He groans. "She said they'd meet us at the bar but I don't see them."

"She probably bailed," I mumble slightly irritated by the situation wishing that they'd just let me do this on my own.

"Stop being so negative, I'll text Kat now," Sam grumbles pulling out his phone as I down half my beer down trying to get loosened up a little. "She's calling me now, hold on."

Sam answers the phone plugging the ear he isn't using to listen to his call so there isn't so much noise to distract him. "Yeah, we're here where are you!?" Sam says smiling as he talks into his phone.

"Okay, okay yeah, see you in a few."

"So?" I ask him curiously as he shoves the phone back into his back pocket.

"Kat wants to meet them outside by the pool, and said people are out there but it's not as loud." Sam shrugs and points towards the back door.

I nod and we start walking in that direction. I look around for any possible signs of Kat and her friend. We went outside and as we turned the corner Kat was standing there waiting for us.

"Hey! So look don't tell her I told you this but she's kind of nervous, she really doesn't do this stuff, and she might be shy but you'll love her I promise." Katrina immediately begins to ramble at us. We give her a hug seeing that she seems a little frazzled by everything happening right now.

"Don't worry Colby asked me if he looked okay like 20 times on the way here, he's just as flustered as she is," Sam says patting me on the back. I glare at him mumbling how it's just because I haven't done this in a while but they both ignore me. "Where is she anyway?"

Kat smiles widely, turns to look behind her and motions over to the table area. "See the cute Y/H/C one in the Fallen Angel costume? That's your girl." A

As my eyes fall on the girl matching the description my jaw slacks, she's absolutely gorgeous. She's sitting at one of the tables with a drink in her hand as she looks around at the people in the pool. I take notice right away of everything from the pink of her lips to the way the fabric of the costume hugs her curves.

"Like what you see buddy?" Sam asks with a laugh snapping me out of my gaze. I nod blushing slightly as I look back at him and Katrina who turns back to us. "I picked out her costume so it would match yours. You both love dark things and I figured it would be a great way to break the ice!"

I nod again trying to form sentences and not have my eyes wander back to her. "W-What's her name?" I ask softly.

"Y/F/N," Kat replies.

Sam groans as he nudges me. "Come on guys, are we just going to stand here gawking at her for the entire night or what?"

"Sam’s right, let's go!" Kat starts to laugh as he grabs my arm and begins pulling me over to the beautiful girl across the yard.

Y/n's POV:

As I look up from the pool I lock eyes with Kat who is heading straight towards me. Behind her are two guys and I instantly recognize them. Sam Golbach and Colby Brock. You have to be joking, it all makes sense now. She's setting me up with Colby who’s one of her and her boyfriends best friends.

She smiles at me and I flash her a look of I can't believe you. Narrowing her eyes she mouths the word "behave" to me like my mother would when I was a kid. I roll my eyes and stand up awkwardly as they get closer and closer.

"Y/n! There you are, I have someone for you to meet!" She says as if our little exchange didn't happen. "This is Sam and Colby, Colby was the one I was telling you about."

My whole face turns red at her last phrase and I look up forcing myself to smile and make eye contact with them. "H-hi." I manage to say.

Colby is looking down at me with a slight blush to his cheeks as well. He can't possibly be nervous to meet me, can he? "Hey, uh nice uh costume." He smiles trying his best to sound put together.

I look down at his costume and finally realizing why Kat choose this for me. Dylan and I match and our characters just happen to be in love.

Coincidence? I think not. I shoot her a look but laugh a little to cover it up. "You too."

"Well, Sam and I are going to leave you two be!

Have a good night you guys!" Katrina claps before grabbing Sam's arm and pulling him away.

Colby and I both instantly turn to our friends calling after them and then awkwardly meeting our eyes back to one another. I look away from him shyly. What was she thinking? I can't do this, I can't talk to him, let alone like he'd have any interest in me.

"Uh, can I get you a drink?" Colby asks me, snapping my attention back up to him.

I raise my hand up with my drink in it. "I uh already have one." I smile a little at him trying to be nice. "But thanks."

He chuckles. "Sorry I just, I haven't done this whole thing in a long time..." He says getting a little redder and reaching up to scratch the back of his neck.

"It's okay, I understand, I'm not the best at this either," I say laughing a little and trying to lighten the mood a bit by confessing to him.

He rolls his eyes laughing. "Oh come on, yeah like I'm supposed to believe a beautiful girl like you has such a hard time finding someone to go out with."

His words cause my entire body to heat up. Does he think I'm beautiful? "Oh, I oh..." I giggle a little embarrassed.

He looks at me after taking a sip of his drink. "Oh sorry was that too creepy, fuck see, I'm not good at this!"

"No, no it's okay, it was nice, I'm just not used to being called that," I say immediately not trying to make him feel bad. "Well I think you're gorgeous and whoever says differently need to get their damn eyes checked."

He says recovering from closing up a bit to me.

I giggle taking a sip of my drink before answering.

"Well, you're not too bad yourself," I tell him blushing still. He smirks a little and I guess I helped boosts his confidence. I can't believe he's actually nervous just around me.

"Do wanna sit a while a talk? You know, get to know each other a little more?" He asks a glint of hope in his eyes as he smiles.

The same warm feeling spreads through me again and I nod. "I'd love that."

Colby’s POV:

An hour and a half, as well as three beers later Y/n and I haven't moved from our spot since. It turns out Kat may have been right when she said we have a lot in common. We are both complete tv and movie addicts, we listen to the same kind of music, and we are both super sarcastic.

I swear I could listen to her talk forever.

Occasionally she goes on these little side tangents where she begins to talk faster and her eyebrows move creating the cutest little creases on her forehead.

Oh and that's the other thing. She's probably the downright most beautiful girl I've ever seen. While we've been talking I realized how alluring her eyes are making me never want to look away. The way her hair falls so effortlessly drives me crazy thinking about how soft it must be. And then her smile, god, every time I make her smile my whole body heats up.

Fuck I really like her. I really really like her. I already know she'll be the death of me, that is if she likes me but I think she might. The way she leans a little when she laughs and how over the short amount of time we've spent together, she's already began to loosen up around me. However, that may also have to do with the fact she's on her second mixed drink.

Suddenly she stops talking and I worry that I got lost in my thoughts so much that I missed a question but thankfully she quickly sighs and smiles. "I love this song." She says nodding towards the house where the music is blaring and people are dancing.

I listen closely and chuckle a little. "Me too." She smiles and blushes having to look away from me and then I realize what she's doing. She wants me to ask her to dance. Right? Maybe not I could be miss-reading this but I think that's what's happening. I would really like to dance with her maybe I should just ask. I clear my throat a little.

"D-do you want to uh... dance? With me? I mean like in there... You don't have to but, if you like that song - I like the song - and I like uh, well I feel like we are getting along and-" I say stumbling a tad to find the wording I want.

She looks back up at me, her smile bright and her cheeks rosy as she cuts me off, saving myself from further embarrassment. "Yeah, I'd like that a lot

I smile trying to contain my excitement by biting my bottom lip a little. "Great." We stand up and leave our empty drinks behind as we make our way towards the house. I look down at her without her noticing she begins to look a little nervous. "You okay?" I ask her worried.

Y/n nods a little and looks up at me. "I just, uh, I'm not very good at this." She giggles. "I said yes because I want to but I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm not really a dancer."

I smile at her being shy, similar to how she was when we first met. I look out at the crowd watching people move to the beat and I look back at her. "I could teach you?" I offer.

"Y-you don't have to Colbs we can just go talk more I don't want to embarrass myself or you." She says the blush on her face growing stronger.

When she called me Colbs my heart nearly skipped a beat. "Oh stop, I know you want to, and I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to." I remind her as I slowly brush my hand against her's. "You could never embarrass me." "Okay." She says with a deep breath giving in to me while moving her hand to brush back over mine.

I decide to take a leap of faith and lace my fingers with hers gently. She smiles shyly at me as we give each other's palms a small squeeze. "Let's go." I pull her into the crowd with a spin making her giggle.

We begin to dance together and at first, we keep it friendly and silly always keeping our hands held tight but as one song turns to two, two to three, three to four, and four to five we have pressed up close to each other swaying again one another to the beat. Somehow along the way both of our awkwardness subsided and has now been replaced with undeniable sexual tension. I hold her hips firmly keeping her close to me as she has her on hand on my shoulder and the other slung over my shoulder. Her cheeks are flushed due to the heat of the dance floor and the heat between us. Hell, we are so close together I can feel her heart racing just like mine.

I look at her, looking back at me. I like her more with every passing second and I decide to take a shot in the dark. "I really want to kiss you right now." I mummer softly and breathy hoping my want for her doesn't ruin what we have.

She looks at my lips before her eyes flicker up to mine. "Nothing's stopping you." She whispers and smiles bashfully. Surprised but completely ecstatic I smirk before leaning in and pressing my lips to hers.

Y/N's POV:

Colby crashes his lips on mine as soon as I give him the okay. Somehow he seems to pull me closer to him than we were before. The kiss is long and passionate and I kiss him back. Our lips move together beautifully as he moves one of his hands up to my face cupping it and keeping my lips close.

I run my fingers through the hair on the back of his head in response.

After a few more moments we pull away. I let out a small gasp for air, my head feeling slightly dizzy from the intense kiss.

"I'm so fucking glad I met you..." Colby breaths out, his hot breath fanning across my face.

I blush and nod. "Agreed," I said giggling a little trying to make myself less nervous about this whole situation and how fast we seem to be moving.

He smiles and tucks some hair behind my ear. "I'm glad you think so too because I'd really love to take you out sometime... that is if you'd let me?" He asks again mirroring my nerves with his own uncertainty.

"I'd love that," I say softly and decided to be brave by going on my tippy toes to kiss him once again.

Colby smiles against my lips and kisses me back. When we pull back, movement catches my eye from behind him. Confused, I look over to see Kat waving her arms spastically. When we lock eyes she motions me over quickly.

"Everything okay?" Colby asks his grip loosening on my sides and looking over his shoulder at

Kat who tries to trick him into thinking she's calm and collected.

I roll my eyes and giggle a bit. "Yeah, I think Kat needs me for a moment," I say casually before his face falls into worry. Quickly I place a hand on his arm. "I'll be back."

He smiles again and nods happily. "I'll be here."

Smiling, I turn and walk over to Colby quickly and excitedly.

"Did I really just see what I think I saw?!" She asks with a huge smile plastered on her face.

I blush and nod as she squeals excitedly. "Kat!

Shhhhh!" I say turning and trying to make sure Colby isn't watching us. He's talking to some guy I don't know and I sigh thankfully.

"Oh my god! You like him so much!" She says not caring if he hears or not.

I laugh and pull her off to the side a little more.

"Yes, okay I like him," I admit to her and myself. "I like him a lot actually.." I can't help but smile at the thought of how our lips fit together like perfect puzzle pieces, and how much we had in common, and how overall he's just honestly blown me away.

"Awwww!" She smiles. "See I told you! And don't be mad but I've been keeping my eyes on you tonight, things are getting pretty heated out there, what are you going to do?" She asks me and I already know what she's referring to.

I sigh and scratch at my arm a tad anxiously. "I don't know Kat...."

She rolls her eyes at me crossing her arms firmly.

"Y/n I can see it in your eyes that you want him, and trust me girlie, he wants you. For once don't overthink this babe."

"What if he thinks I'm being easy and then nothing actually happens between us. As much as I hate to admit it, you were right, and now I really want things to work out with him. I never do things this quickly in a relationship." I explain conflicted on whether to give him to my desire or do guard my heart.

"I told you, he's not a one night stand kind of guy.

She tries to reason with me. Again I steal a quick look at him over my shoulder. I must have caught his eye because he smiles at me with a little wave.

"And look he obviously likes you too." I give him a small wave back before looking at her again without an answer. "Fine so don't fuck him right away, but at least get out of here. Go back to your place, have some wine, put in a movie, and see what happens?"

I decide she's right. I need to live a little more, try new things, and take some risks. I like Colby a lot, and well Kat does know about this stuff more than I do. "Fine." I sigh.

"Yes! Oh my god, go get 'em girlie!" She squeals again forcefully grabbing my shoulders and turning me towards the direction I came in and pushing me away.

I laugh at her and she winks at me before I disappear out of her sight to go catch up with Colby.

Walking back over him he grins widely once he sees me. "Everything okay?" He asks thoughtfully making my heart jump a little.

"Yeah everything is perfect," I say smiling. I think about what Kat said, and how right now here this seemingly perfect guy is standing here in front of me just waiting for me to say something else. I take a subtle deep breath. "D-do you maybe want to go somewhere?" I ask.

"Like where?" He asks chuckling a little bit.

I blush realizing I should have clarified more. "Well I didn't know if you wanted to go back to my place, maybe watch The Kissing Booth?" I ask him knowing we talked about the movie trailer and that he has been dying to see it.

His smile grows and he nods. "I'd love to, that sounds great."

My heart flutters at his words and the fact that I thankfully didn't just make a fool out of myself. We then head out of the house and Colby orders an uber considering we've both already had a few drinks.

On the drive over we make small talk about the party but he slowly moves his hand over to mine and laces our fingers back together. We keep them together as we get to my apartment building.

I unlock my door and let us into my apartment.

"Welcome to my humble abode," I say flicking the lights on and closing the door behind us.

We share a chuckle and Colby looks around, surveying the area. "Why thank you, madame." He teases me, making me blush for some reason.

"The movie is on the rack, do you want some wine or something?" I ask him as we walk further into the living room and I point over to my rack of movies.

He walks over to the rack pursuing it carefully. "Wine would be great." He says.

"Coming right up, make yourself at home," I say quickly before going into my kitchen to get us both a drink.

When I come back into the room Colby is sitting on the couch reading the back of the DVD case. I smile and set the wine glasses down on my coffee table.

"Here ya go, I'll put that in," I say as he hands me the DVD.

"Thank you." He says happily taking a sip from his glass. "Wow, good wine."

I laugh a little. "Thanks, honestly I just got was on sale last time I was at the store."

He chuckles and shrugs as I come to sit down next to him. "Well, I like it." I giggle back taking a sip myself.

The movie starts and we mutter remarks about the actors and plot and so on and as the sweet liquid starts to disappear from our glasses we subtly move closer and closer on the couch.

At one point as he scoots a little closer he looks down at me and smiles. "W-would it be okay if I put my arm around you?" He asks a little softly as he blushes.

I nod and blush back at him. "Sure..." I say turning back to the screen to hide the fact that I find myself nervously biting at my bottom lip.

I feel his arm move upwards and then gently wrap around my shoulder. Moving a little closer to him to make the position more comfortable I sigh a bit feeling surprisingly relaxed in his arms.

A while passes and the scene where Elle and Noah have their first kiss comes on. As finally, their lips touch a slight tension fills the air.

Colby clears his throat a little and to my surprise, he breaks the silence. "You know I bet they dated in real life.."

I look up at him slightly confused. "What makes you say that?" I ask him.

He shrugs a little looking down at me. "Well it's hard to fake something like that."

Well, how can you tell they just didn't fake it really well?" I ask with a small smirk playfully egging him on a little.

Smiling he shrugs again. "You can't fake something like that, you can't fake that kind of... of passion..." He looks me in the eyes and with the movie, and our proximity, and him just being him, I find myself wanting to kiss him again.

"Passion huh?" I giggle a little trying to cover up the fact that my heart is picking up a little speed as we now seem to be leaning in closer together.

He chuckles briefly and then looks at me for a moment. "What something wrong with a little passion?" He asks me softly while seemingly studying my eyes.

"Not at all, just seems like I don't come by it a lot these days," I say quietly as our faces have become so close that our noses are almost brushing.

"Me neither....'

." He whispers. "B-but I... I think I

felt it tonight... with you."

That smooth bastard, I swear it's like he knows exactly how to make me melt. "I think I did to..." I respond looking at his lips and then back up at his eyes.

He smiles and closes the gap between us. We share a long passionate kiss, just like at Kat’s, but then suddenly it's like a switch flips inside us both and it turns a little more electric. Colby's hand that was wrapped around my shoulder moves down to my waist, pulling me in closer to him. I move slightly to be able to face him more before moving one of my hands to the side of his head and rests the other on his chest.

The kiss intensifies even as Colby runs his one hand through my hair and I pull him closer by his shirt that my hand is now gripping. He licks my bottom lip asking for entrance, which I immediately allow. He then slowly slips his tongue into my mouth exploring it excitedly. I do the same to him and we find ourselves in a slight battle for dominance. I give into him willingly, letting him set the pace.

He moves away from my mouth and kisses my cheek, my jaw, and to my neck where he whispers softly. "I-I really like you, and I really really like this, but I don't want to push you too far or too fast."

I pull away to look at him for a moment my heart overflowing with happiness of how sweet he's being. "D-do you think we're moving too fast?" I ask gently.

He smiles shyly. "Well, I usually don't even kiss on the first date, but this feels right to me.."

"I usually don't either... I think so too." I nod kissing him soft and sweet. "And for the record, I really like you too." I giggle a bit.

He chuckles and kisses me before answering. "God, you are so amazing." I roll my eyes at him playfully before kissing him once again.

His lips quickly find my neck again. He leaves open-mouthed kissing all along my neck before biting into my sensitive spot making me gasp as he sucks a mark onto my skin. "Cole..." I sigh in lust. "I love it when you call me that baby." He mumbles leaving my skin.

I don't really respond, although when he called me baby I about exploded. Instead, I just pull him back up to my lips kissing him desperately. He smiles against my lips before tightening his grip on my sides to pull me onto his lap.

Colby pulls me against him as I grip the hair on the back of his head and give it a tug. He groans under his breath and I feel his one hand move under my shirt setting my skin on fire. Slowly I move my hips grinding against him. We both breathe out subtle moans at the feeling of being that close together.

"Bedroom?" I ask pulling away breathlessly. He opens his eyes and nods with a huge grin coming over his face. I giggle a little at his reaction before climbing off of him and pulling him by his hand down the hallway.

I open the door and pull him in quickly but before I get the chance to do anything else he pushes me up against the door, shutting it in the process. He kisses me immediately taking me by surprise at first but then I fall right back under his spell.

Deciding to take things a step further I reach for his shirt and begin to tug it upwards. He takes the hint and moves only to take it off and throw it to the side but before I can do anything else he grabs my shirt pulling it off my body. Then he finally returns to my lips allowing us to pull each other close again. trail my hands down his chest and abdomen admiring the tattoos, ripples, and divets as I go while he moves his hands down to undo my pants. They fall to the ground and I kick them off before he decides to swing me around and push us back onto my bed.

We share a few more increasingly sloppy kisses before I move to kiss at his birthmark on his jaw. He moves his hands down to his pants to start getting them off of himself as I move down to his neck.

Once they're off he kicks them somewhere and flips us over so that I'm straddling him once again.

He begins to kiss at my shoulder as I focus on his neck but as he moves his hands to remove my bra he adds another mark to my collarbone. Between his lips and his hands now cupping both my bare breasts, Ilet out a moan. My moan causes him to jerk his hips a little and grind against me. I can feel how hard he is against my core and moan again.

"Fuck, you're so beautiful baby, I want to see the rest of you, okay?" Colby whispers huskily. I nod running my fingers through his hair.

Colby carefully begins to kiss down my body. All over my skin from the valley of my breasts to the dips of my pelvis occasionally nibbling as he goes.

"That feels so good," I mumble through a sigh.

He chuckles a little and after pressing a kiss to one of my hips he smiles up at me. I blush slightly embarrassed but he begins to pull down my panties. "Don't be embarrassed, I've got you." I nod again sitting up on my elbows to see him better. When he gets my panties off he licks his lips before moving my thighs apart and kissing up them. With each inch, my heartbeat increases and my body gets hotter and hotter. "May I?" He asks allowing his breath to fan over my throbbing center.

"Please Cole," I whine slightly tugging at his hair again and biting my bottom lip. Slowly he leans in and gently begins to tease me with his tongue. "Oh, fuck." I let out instantly.

"You taste fucking amazing baby." He mumbles continuing his movements that are beginning to make me moan.

Colby grips the top of my thighs with his hands keeping them apart and down for them as he feels me slightly squirm under his touch. And the more and more he teases me the more and more desperate I become for him. "C-colby, please, it feels so good but I need you, I can't wait anymore.

He pulls up from me and smirks. "No problem baby." He says sitting up and pulling down his boxers. His hard cock slaps against his skin and he groans at the feeling of his restrains finally being gone. "Do you have a condom?" He asks suddenly snapping me from the daze of staring at his impressive size.

"Yeah, one second," I say rolling over to get one from the bedside drawer. Once I've got it I rip it open and sit up on my knees. Blushing I look up at down at him. "D-do you want me to put it on?" I ask him shyly.

"Definitely, but only if you want to." he smiles caressing the curve of my hip gently. I lean forward and tenderly pick up his hard cock by its base.

"Fuck..." He mutters under his breath, obviously suppressing a moan.

Carefully I roll the rubber sleeve down over him making sure it's on properly. "That okay?" I ask to make sure.

He sits up on his knees as well, so that he can kiss me passionately and pull me close once again.

"Perfect..." He smiles pulling back just enough to speak. "A-and you're sure about this?"

I nod kissing him again before speaking. "I'm sure, are you?"

"A million percent sure." He chuckles before leaning down to sweep me up and throw be on my back so that he can hover over me.

We kiss passionately and desperately, our lips and occasionally our teeth crashing together. I tangle my hands in his hair as he grabs my hip with one hand and his cock with the other. He then begins to line up with me, the sensation of his tip slightly poking at my entrance causing me to shiver with anticipation.

"Colby, please don't tease." I whimper against his

lips. He smiles and whispers back. "I'm sorry." And with that, he carefully pushes into me. I gasp and he groans as he bottoms out inside me. His hand that was guiding him gripping my other hip. I swear he's holding me so tight bruises will be in the place of his fingertips in the morning. "T-tell me when you're ready princess." He stutters out probably trying his best not to just begin fucking the living hell out of me.

I quickly adjust to the way he fills me up and how it makes me have prolonged butterflies in my lower stomach. "Go ahead, you don't have to be careful," I whisper.

He smirks again as he moves his hips. It doesn't take long for him to pick up speed and begin pounding in and out of me.

"You feel so fucking good." He groans pressing his forehead against mine.

I moan, squeezing my eyes shut at the feeling of the blissful pleasure. "Fuck, Cole! More please, I need you." I gasp letting a moan follow.

He grunts focusing on thrusting inside of respond as well as moving his one hand to rub at my clit.

Another moan rips through me making me buck my hips up to him making him groan and grunt again.

Every little move he makes sends waves of pleasure all throughout my body as the sound of my slapping skin and desperate noises fill the room.

Then with one particularly hard thrust, he begins to hit a spot deep inside me that makes my pleasure spike and my inner walls clench around him.

"Shit I'm so close," I whine to him moving one of my hands to grip his shoulder.

"Just let go for me, Cum for me, I'm close too, just let go." He rambles pressing a sloppy and quick kiss against my lips. "But open those pretty eyes princess, I want to look in your eyes."

Through the pleasure and edging closer and closer to my peak, I force my eyes open to look up at him.

His eyes are dark with lust, his cheeks are flushed, his forehead has these wrinkles in the skin from his facial expression, and there is a thin layer of sweat forming all over him. Something about seeing him this way and feeling him absolutely wrecks me in the best possible way makes me spiral into my orgasm. My mind goes into a hot white state, blocking everything out except what's happening right now in front (well inside) of me.

I moan out for him loudly, my thighs shaking, my fingers raking down his back, and my body clenching around him. His hips stutter in there pace before he twitches inside me before he lets out a disgruntled moan. I then feel him fill up the condom and experience his own high.

After we both come down we work on regaining our breath's as he pulls out of me. Colby rolls off of me immediately waddling to the trashcan to dispose of the condom. He then uses a tissue to make sure he's clean before laying back on the bed with me.

"That was so fucking good." He chuckles tiredly before pulling me into his grasp.

"I very much agree." I giggle allowing myself to cuddle into him.

I let out a large yawn as he presses his lips to my forehead. "Get some rest babe.." He whispers. The tiredness takes over me and I nod in return before allowing myself to cuddle into his grasp and drift asleep.

Softly shifting in the warmth of the covers I begin to suddenly awaken from my sleep. I smile to myself as the memories of last night flood into my mind immediately. Last night was the best night I've had in a long time, and one of the best night I've in general. Colby was amazing just as a person and in bed.

I take a deep breath allowing my eyes to flutter open as I rollover. I give my eyes a moment to adjust to the light coming through the curtains but when they do my heart breaks. Colby's gone.

Sitting up I push away the tears. I can't believe I actually thought this would work.

Echoes of him telling me how much he liked me and Kat assuring me this would be different echo in my head. I'm not mad at her, I kind of want to be but I know I can't be. She was just trying to help and for a brief moment last night she did.

With Colby, I was the happiest I've been in a long time. He really got to me with that whole nice guy act, god I feel so stupid.

I wipe my eyes pathetically as I go over to my closet tripping over some of my clothes on the way. I don't even bother to pick them up, I don't know if I can take any more reminders of last night. Pulling a long shirt over my head I grab some underwear to slip on and decide to go make some coffee.

When I go over and open my bedroom door the light blinds me for a moment. I rub my eyes and when I open them again I stop dead in my tracks.

"Hey gorgeous, did I wake you? I'm so sorry, I was going to bring it to you.

There standing in front of me is Colby, smiling brightly at me as he flips the pancake that he has in a pan on my stove. My heart jumps to life in shock and happiness. "Y-you're here?" I ask with a gasp and a smile coming over my face.

He gives me a confused look before it sinks in. "Oh, did you think I-?" He cuts himself as I nod a little embarrassed. He immediately turns off the stove and comes over to me. "No, no, no, I'd never! I'm so sorry." He says grabbing my hands. I sniffle a little and let out a small laugh. "Do be sorry! I- I just really like you and I thought you left... you know..."

He smiles. "I meant everything I said last night

Y/n. I really like you, I really liked what happened last night, and I really want to take you out sometime."

Happiness fills up my entire body and I grab him kissing him. "I really like you, I really liked what happened last night, and I'd really like that Colbs."

He smiles picking me up and spinning me around giving me kisses all over my face. I giggle kissing him tenderly as he puts me down. "Remind me to thank Kat later." He chuckles.

"Ditto," I reply as he kisses once again and then returns to breakfast before spending the rest of the morning cuddled up on the couch, fantasizing about what's the come.

[pitchsidestories]

I loved you in secret II Niamh Charles x Reader

masterlist I word count: 1188

a/n: hi, this one contains hurt/comfort, it's all fictional as always and we hope you guys like it.

Loosing against Barcelona hurt a lot but what was even more painful to you was the heartbroken face of your girlfriend who was coming towards you, the rain pattered steadily on her slumped shoulders.

In the background you saw the Barca players celebrating their entry into the Champions League final.

Even though you knew that not a single word which existed in the human language could ease away the pain right now, you whispered her name: ”Niamh-“

The defender quickly stopped you from talking more by putting a finger to your lips before pressing her mouth on to yours, giving you a passionate kiss.

The move of the brunette caught you off guard because the relationship was supposed to be a secret and you could tell that your team has been watching the two of you.

For another moment Niamh leaned her forehead against yours before she apologized quietly: ”Sorry.”

“Sorry, for the kiss or the loss?”, you frowned at her.  

“Both.”, she admitted in an honest tone.

You wanted to press on for her to keep speaking, but it was Erin who cleared her throat, so your girlfriend and you turned around to face her.

The Scottish midfielder nodded into your coach direction who didn’t look the least amused, even a little disgusted:” Sorry to interrupt you girls. I thought you should know that Emma saw you two.

Much to your surprise Niamh’s reply was: ”Good.”

“Good?! You must be joking, Niamhy.”, Sjoeke scolded the defender, she herself seemed to have appear out of nowhere.

“Do I look like I’m joking?”, Niamh asked the red-haired woman in a tone which didn’t leave a doubt about her being serious.

The German forward quietly moved away from her.

“Come on, let’s go inside, love.”, you told your girlfriend.

“Please.”, she answered, tears in her eyes because the pain of loosing 2:0 against the reigning champions of Europe was still too fresh for her not to get highly emotional about everything which was thrown at her.

In the dressing room a concerned Millie came up to both of you:” Niamh, y/n?”

“Yes?”, you lifted your chin, to look properly into your captain’s worried face.

Sounding much more annoyed Niamh mumbled through gritted teeth: ”What?”  The sadness was still there but you could feel her getting angrier by each passing minute.

“You better get home quickly.”, Millie responded softly.

“Why?”, you raised an eyebrow at her.

“She’s pretty mad.”, Guro explained. Hearing the Norwegian say this, send a shiver down to your spine, you all knew all too well who your teammate meant with she, Emma who’s facial expression from earlier was engraved into your visual memory.

Your girlfriends voice brought you back from your thoughts. “About the kiss in the rain? Emma should be mad about the game instead, how we lost it in the second half!”

She tried to keep her voice steady but the anger seeped through the words.

Millie shook her head calmly: “We all lost that game tonight.”

You sighed, looking at the tall defender: “Yes, but Millie, she has no right to hate us just because Niamh and I love each other.”

A look of empathy crossed Millies face: “No, I absolutely agree. I know it‘s been bothering Niamh for a while now.”

“Yes, she‘s tired of the hate. Especially after Emmas statement on player-player-relationships.”, you continued.

Millie nodded in understanding. You were sure that everyone in the room knew that Niamhs anger came from an accumulation of disappointing games and questionable interviews of your coach.

“But we didn‘t lose because of this tonight.”, Millie reminded you.

Niamh let out a long sigh: “No, we didn‘t.”

“Niamh.” The older team captain tried to find the youngers eyes.

“Yeah?”

“Go home.”, Millies voice was soft, her eyes full of worry for the two of you. Still, you did not dare to refuse her order.

You started packing your bags silently, trying to leave the stadium as fast as possible.

“Bye, girls.”, Niamh said plainly, not looking at any. of your teammates.

Guro forced herself to smile: “Bye.”

“Goodbye.”, you said before following your girlfriend out.

Niamh was unusually quiet on your way home. As soon as the door closed behind you and you dropped your bags, she turned towards you.

“I‘m sorry, love.”

“You don‘t need to apologize, Niamh.”, you replied, carefully reaching out to take her hands into yours.

She shook her head, avoiding your eyes: “No, I didn‘t want to get you in trouble. I was just mad.”

Of course, she made the decision to kiss you in the heat of the moment, led by her emotions and it might have consequences for you too but you could not blame her.

“We all were. And rightfully so, I mean the first leg might have been the best game of the season…”

Your girlfriend let out a tired breath: “It‘s been a weird season.”

“You can really say that.”, you nodded in agreement.

Still in thought, Niamh continued: “I didn't say anything when she first called our relationship inappropriate… but it has been bothering me the whole time.”

“Me too to be honest. But I didn’t want it to affect your captaincy.”, you admitted.

“I should have said something.”

You carefully put your hand on her upper arm and tried to find her gaze: “And loose the armband? She'll leave at the end of the season and we're staying.”

“Now that Millie is back, she will get it anyway.”, your girlfriend sighed exasperated.

“Probably., you paused for a second before adding in a hopeful tone, but we can stop hiding now, right?”

“We should have stopped much earlier. We owe that to our teammates who taught us that it’s okay.”, she confessed quietly while placing her head on your lap.

“That’s true to Pernille and Magda..”, you began.

“Fran and Maren.”, Niamh mumbled while your fingers ran soothingly through her still slightly wet hair.

“Aswell as Jess and Ann-Katrin.”

“And there are young players looking up to us.”, the defender said earnestly.

“Right. I don’t want them to feel ashamed for whom they love.”, you whispered as you wished away the upcoming tears with your free hand.

“Come here.”, your girlfriend asked you to lay down beside her which you did.

With closed eyes Niamh kissed away your hot tears.

“I love you.”, you told her, smiling sadly.

“I love you too. On and off the pitch. No matter what anyone says.”, the defender responded seriously before pulling you into a close hug.

“Do you think you can fall asleep tonight?”, you asked her cautiously.

“I’ll try too.”, she answered honestly.

“Sleep well, Niamh.”, you wished her goodnight.

“You too.”

Both of you were drifting away into an exhausted sleep, this season has been tiring. In the morning you were feeling less sad because you could finally stop loving your favourite person in secret and live your truth.

Even though not everyone might like that fact, but you felt like a heavy weight has been lifted from your shoulders. You loved Niamh and it was okay if everyone knew about your love for each other.

[agentrouka-blog]

omfg you have every right to be angry over that anon. What a condescending, arrogant ask. There's an extra level of insult, because people aren't just trying to dispute your opinion, they're trying to waste your time, energy, and thinking too. It's not an honest and equal debate, it's just pure entitlement.

Something for your perusal: I've been reading the ASOIAF books again and was curious when I came upon Catelyn's passage up the Eyrie in AGOTA, where she laments that Mya Stone won't be able to marry the boy she's in love with because she's a bastard. Then Catelyn muses that Mya reminds her of Sansa. I thought this was interesting because of how the information is introduced, and then the Mya-Sansa parallels. Sansa becomes a bastard when Jon is a secret prince sort of business. I haven't seen anybody mention this and thought it was curious.

Thank you! <3

And there's actually a lot of stuff in that Mya Stone moment.

For one, it happens at a time when we already know that Sansa's own dreams are as hopeless as Mya's, no matter that Sansa is trueborn, because Cat and Ned both agreed to marry her to House Lannister and at the Trident Joffrey took off his mask and nothing is being done about it regarding Sansa.

Then we have the parallel to Littlefinger, whose crush (trueborn but low status) was always as hopeless as Mya's.

Then we have the fact that Cat foregoes an obvious comparison (tomboyish Arya) by focusing on not one but two other people in regard to Mya. First the unpleasant association with Jon Snow, followed by a softening when she recognizes the resemblance to Sansa.

"Mya Stone, if it please you, my lady," the girl said. It did not please her; it was an effort for Catelyn to keep the smile on her face. Stone was a bastard's name in the Vale, as Snow was in the north, and Flowers in Highgarden; in each of the Seven Kingdoms, custom had fashioned a surname for children born with no names of their own. Catelyn had nothing against this girl, but suddenly she could not help but think of Ned's bastard on the Wall, and the thought made her angry and guilty, both at once. She struggled to find words for a reply. [...] "Mychel's my love," Mya explained. "Mychel Redfort. He's squire to Ser Lyn Corbray. We're to wed as soon as he becomes a knight, next year or the year after." She sounded so like Sansa, so happy and innocent with her dreams. Catelyn smiled, but the smile was tinged with sadness. The Redforts were an old name in the Vale, she knew, with the blood of the First Men in their veins. His love she might be, but no Redfort would ever wed a bastard. His family would arrange a more suitable match for him, to a Corbray or a Waynwood or a Royce, or perhaps a daughter of some greater house outside the Vale. If Mychel Redfort laid with this girl at all, it would be on the wrong side of the sheet. (AGOT, Catelyn VI)

Mya makes her feel guilty and angry when thinking of Jon Snow, but bittersweet when contemplating her similarity to Sansa and the impossibility of her dreams. It's easier to handle Mya's status when connecting her to Sansa, someone Cat knows how to love, rather than Jon, whose existence strips all romance from the veneer of the brutal society and the reality of patriarchy for Catelyn herself. She doesn't hate bastards, she even has sympathy for them. She only hates what Jon represents for herself.

Sansa ends up modeling her own bastard figure after Jon Snow (fourteen and bastard brave), and from what we have seen of Jon's own struggles with bastardy, his own unfullfilled dreams, it becomes easy to directly compare Sansa and Jon as similar souls, with similar hopes and disappointments, with their shared longing for something unattainable by the rules of their society.

Within the one mirroring scene coming down the mountain in AFFC, Sansa contemplates Mya Stone's lost virtue (after Cat's predictions have come to pass) and potential future husband of fitting status who would love her anyway, and she will also be reminded of Jon Snow. "I am a bastard too now, just like him. Oh, it would be so sweet, to see him once again. But of course that could never be."

The chapter ends with a proposed miracle transformation. Littlefinger paints the picture of a reveal of true identity: The bastard sheds their mask and is recognized for their true self. Something that can only happen to a false bastard. Like Sansa.

Who is so similar to Jon. With his impossible dreams.