#really wish there was just a cure for depression so the people i care about could be happy and have energy and be ok

[tittysuckersworld]

vent tw, if you have depression please please just dont interact-

[acid-ixx]

They aren't finished but I wanted to give you these! They're all WIPS so so far. Some are a bit older and you can tell what the newer ones are that I just made right now.

Thank you for posting a new chapter. It was an amazing read and I just loved it so much! Still trying to find those song references 😂

chapter spoilers and drafts (again &. again)

— masterlist ! ; chapter 4 ; ash's commisions

OH MY GOD THIS IS SUCH A BLESSING??? BANGER AFTER BANGER AFTER BANGER I SWEAR 💞

ash, you have always provided my little fanbase for my series so much food for thought, this is absolutely beautiful in every way. i literally don't care if they're wips or unfinished because either way you always make do with what i write, descriptive or not. i love your artstyle and how soft you draw the mc and how handsome conner is (i literally showed your art off to all my friends). you're so talented and i wish to reciprocate all the efforts you've done for this series 😭

i'm serious. from your portrayal of the mc, to them flying with conner, you never once disappoint anyone.

because of this, i'd like to leak some parts of my story from chapter five and beyond 💕! thank you so much for this, and i hope my yapping below suffices.

major spoilers below the cut!

the graduation photo! i have something planned with that, and i'd delve so much deeper (soon) with just how much a single photo can influence bruce's line of thought once he discovers that picture frame. love how happy mc is in the photo because, for me, it symbolizes them growing up (quite literally) and acknowledging a new path in life, alongside only finding alfred as their only father figure compared to bruce.

you consider yourself reserved, and prefer your life living within the confines of privacy and protection from media exposure. your mother always told you: better safe than sorry once; right after you've asked her about why you can't seem to find personal information about your father when she helped you search him up occasionally.

all the questions you ask her about the lack of your father's preferences — because you merely wanted to know more about him beyond the stories she told you! — she rebutted with a soft smile, a kiss on your head, and an explanation.

she'd warn you about the dangers of media exposure, about how your father and her prefer to keep their relationship a secret, and how too much cameras and paparazzi flashes can blind you.

she said that someone's perception of another person could be ruined once their deepest secrets are revealed. that's why your papa isn't seen beyond the doors of the manor he resides in; because people are attracted to mystery and allure.

hence why she'd restricted you from the usage of any devices within your household during your childhood, other than the excuse of having no money to afford it.

and you always abide by that principle of secrecy; especially right after alfred had saved you from... whatever happened years ago in elementary. from when that man... no, those men knew about your identity...

so, safe to say you were an introvert, at least when it comes to social media. the concept of the fear of missing out never once rattled your brain, no matter how anxious you are whenever you're with your friends; scared that you wouldn't fit in. but they never cared and accepted you with open arms, so it doesn't really matter, no?

you're safe now that you're at metropolis.

and like she always said, better safe than sorry! keep it within you and never out!

so why?

why is it just right after you've opened your twitter app— why is it that your face is plastered all across news accounts?

anyways, the second and third images are so romantic!!! and cute, and cured my depression i swear. i showed this to my one friend and she told me that conner's hand size compared to mc's is straight up hot, and i agree! i love the hand placement, and the way conner holds the mc so softly! yes, i too, would love to touch his man-tits beyond his impeccably tight shirt and play with his hands!

and the cute little panel with him squishing their face and desire their confirmation that, they do, in fact, think they're hot. he's a very insecure man after all, and his self-worth would revolve around your perception of him. he doesn't see you as god, but he doesnt see you as his everything. every opinion matters from you, and that's what makes the green flag part about him.

fun fact about him in the series! he loves to moisturize his hands with lots of skin care products because he read from an article once that some people prefer the feel of soft or moisturized hands. he definitely did not wait for the moment for you to touch him for the first time in forever since he first saw you! yeah, he's a bit more freaky than i let him out to be. the more you're exposed to him, the more you'll learn just how obsessed he is.

as for all the people asking if i'd write more about him: the answer is yes! he's a vital character, so don't worry because he'll appear in many scenes either way. for those concerned about why he didn't save the mc— well, chapter five will explain soon 🩷

and this art perfectly portrays it! it's seen from an outside perspective and they look very pretty, yet from what they see with their eyes is a different thing. the longer you stare at yourself, the more your image is distorted. i intentionally added the flower analogy because flowers are portrayed as pretty, no matter the size and shape. even as they wilt or sag, they still retain some color and a semblance of what was once a history of their prime.

then lastly! the mirror scene. it all returns to chapter three, chapter four was a sequel of their breakdown containing mirrors. reflections and the perception of one self is an important aspect of my series because it reminds me of myself, so them nit-picking each and every insecurity whilst staring at the mirror; that's a scene i wrote based off of a real life experience of mine. having both attractive parents, or those acknowledged as conventionally pretty, whilst being in an environment filled with as equally smart or attractive people, comparing yourself to them all the time, is a struggle.

the only way to make flowers 'ugly' is by destroying them, by stepping on them, ripping them apart, never once caring for them. i think that's very crucial because people do see anything destroyed or stripped away from its foundation a mess, or so. but there's always beauty in everything and i abide by that thought!

again, thank you so much ash for drawing this and bringing my story to life! you, alongside many other users who send in their fanarts, are always such an inspiration for me to write! you guys are the backbone of my series and i stand by my sentence!!! may you get plenty of commissions and plenty of money to support you <333

also, the FLOWER BOTTLE AND THE CAT PAW REFERENCE! i love how everyone accepts that we have a canon cat now based solely off of this. i think that's precious, and having a feline pet is a great little choice for my own plot (just to lessen the pain of the angst).

i hope you enjoyed this little mess rant!

(as for the songs, don't worry, the lyrics become more prevalent for chapter five! chapter four doesn't have any explicit lyrics contained in them, only implications.)

[ghostie-luvs]

Yandere! Patient <3

tw: depression,, obsessive behavior, very slight mention of sh/attempt

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who had been suffering from depression ever since he was young. His parents never tried to figure out why, only sending him to all these different therapists in hopes of helping him. Of course, they cared but they were also too busy, and perhaps, that was one of the leading causes: neglect.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who never tried hurting himself or attempting but only wallowed in the emptiness of the house he grew up in, no siblings to play with, no parents to admire, only him, and a few servants.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who during highschool, got his first ever partner. Gods, he was ecstatic! I mean, the man was touch starved, attention starved, everything starved really. He really did like the person,, so much that his love developed into a sort of unhealthy love, or so people call it.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who would do anything for his new partner, go above and beyond for them..even if they didn’t like it. I mean, shouldn’t they be more appreciative of his efforts? No matter, he still loves them and will do whatever it takes for them to be happy.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ whose love only grows, progresses into a more..obsessive one. His partner always being treated with the affection he so wish he had when he was younger, with gifts, touches, anything they could ever want.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who savored the feeling of their touches, begging for more each time they pulled away, whining if you could even call it that. He needed the affection, he needed their touch and only deflated whenever he did not get what he wanted, thoughts of his childhood resurfacing.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who began to become dependent to his partner, needing them for everything. He wouldn’t be able to sleep, to eat or anything without them. He needed them, desperately. He couldn’t live without them.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who started to panic when his partner began to get distant. He wanted to ask why, wanted to figure out the problem, what he possibly did wrong. His partner gave him no room to even ask, breaking up with him, saying he was too much, and too clingy. What? Too..clingy?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who after the breakup, didn’t take it very well. He fell into the old friend of his that he had when he was young, finding no use of taking care of himself.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who was sent to a psychiatrist when his parents came back from abroad, noting his appearance and realizing what was happening again. He fought back, he told them that those damn people never helped him!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who, the day he arrived to his supposed assigned psychiatrist, felt absolutely horrible being there and only kept to himself. He knew how it would be already. They would prescribe him medicine that didn’t even work.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who, when his eyes fell on you, as you called his name and greeted him with a smile, inviting him to yours and your mentors office-you were only an assistant, only two years older than him- felt his world suddenly fill with colors. What? Soulmates don’t exist. So why was this happening and why did he feel so giddy at your welcoming smile?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who followed you into your office, making himself comfortable as you told him to sit down and tell you about himself. Why was he nervous? Either way, he did exactly what you told him and found himself getting comfortable in your presence and your smile.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who felt happy..happy in a long time at how much you’ve listened to him and treated him so nicely..just like his partner. He was excited for the next appointment, practically sulking when he had to leave, ignoring the fact that you probably prescribed him medicine on the way out, too busy with what would happen next time.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ who knew he wouldn’t be taking that medicine anyway. Why would he when he found that you were good enough, that you were the cure?

a/n: ahhh another character <3 please point out any mistakes or any constructive criticism is welcomed!! Reblogs are very much appreciated!!

please note that I am not a professional/ expert in the field of mental illnesses and reach out to one if you ever feel symptoms relating to depression or s! thoughts.

more of my works :)

[koimethehorizon]

Adventure Time and Fionna and Cake Theory: The Victimhood of Simon + How the Series Might End

Prerequisite Watching for this Theory:

Adventure Time: Temple of Mars, Betty, Come Along With Me, Broke His Crown, I Remember You, Holly Jolly Secrets Part II

Gonna start this loaded theory with a bit of a hot take. I’ve never liked how Simon and Betty’s stories concluded in Come Along With Me.

For Simon, I’ve always had trouble considering Simon and the Ice King as the same person. Holly Jolly Secrets and I Remember You, the pinnacle of depicting the dichotomy of the two characters is built on us seeing Simon as suffering irreversible memory loss and how his loved ones can grow to accept that. The context is most apt when viewed as a metaphor for dementia, Alzheimer’s, or simply old age.

The scenes in which Ice King reacts so superfluously to characters desperately wishing for his old self to return are striking because of the cruel finality of his condition. Alternatively, the ones in which his loved ones hang around with him despite his condition are sweet in their own right.

One of my favorite Ice King scenes is in Broke His Crown where Marceline invites her girlfriend to meet her surrogate father.

Bubblegum: What's this?

Ice King: It's a present, to bribe you for coming over!

Marceline: You don't have to bribe us silly, we're here because we WANT to hang out with you.

Ice King: No one has ever said that to me before.

*snatches present*

Ice King: You didn't say no takebacks.

There was a real poignancy to depicting an old man with memory-loss slowly having people come to accept him and realize that he’s still a swell guy to hang around. It may be depressing to see this good person who was once so unconditionally caring into a buffoon who could forget your name so easily and turn on you in the flip of a coin.

But even he deserved love from others. And in time, as a result of that love, he did improve.

Which is why, even in Fionna and Cake, I find myself still disturbed seeing Simon in his normal state and Ice King completely erased from Ooo. It kills me that Betty and in extension, the show itself could not accept Ice King as he was and felt that his best course was to undo it all.

All of his experiences for 1000+ years all of a sudden no longer matter, and the acceptance of his peers no longer mattered as well. He's just back to who he used to be in a world where everything he's known is gone.

Happily ever after

Even worse, however, is remembering the wish that allowed Simon to be cured. The person who sacrificed her individuality to get that good person back, because she couldn’t accept reality as it was.

And I’m going to put a second hot take. A spicy one. Simon needs to take the fault in Betty's fate and Fionna and Cake (the show not the characters) seems aware of this.

Throughout Adventure Time, Simon Petrikov was never developed as a character. As far as the audience and the characters within Adventure Time knew, the only traits about Simon that mattered were: that he was intelligent, he was a kind man, and he loved Betty.

This wouldn’t really be a compelling character on its own, but when juxtaposed with the Ice King it’s a tragedy that he lost these traits. The compelling part of Simon was his victimhood to the ice crown and not really him as a person.

It’s why Obsidian’s version of Simon feels somewhat empty, he’s back to his intelligent, kind self but there’s no real hints to how he’s mentally adjusting other than that brief glimpse in Ice King’s robes again.

And he looks really weird in this special too. Color me surprised when Simon Petrikov reads out the problems I've had for years about his ending while also making Simon into his own person. In many ways it just completely redos what we see of him in Obsidian.

He's still a kind man but even he can't handle being so maladjusted to a world so beyond his time. He's still intelligent but his passions aren't reciprocated, and that seems to have always been the case even in the past. Rather than a guy who doesn't take shit from guys like Marceline's ex or a first responder to his daughter's problems, he's a normal guy unable to handle the threats of Ooo's world even after 12 years of living in it. Rather than singing to large communities in bliss, he's a lonely alcoholic who can't even relate to his fellow humans anymore. He loves his adopted daughter but there are even some days he can't muster the courage to be honest with her. And most importantly, he doesn't seem to know how to live beyond his curse or his loneliness.

His mutual obsession with Betty is the only character trait of his that's ever had some distinct flaw and with this new show, the writers must have finally found a way to tackle the subject further. Betty is ultimately a greater victim than Simon. She ends up in a far worse fate than Simon has ever been in. Perhaps more disturbingly, she willingly chose to strip herself of her individuality.

Fionna and Cake brings a contradiction to light about Simon and Betty’s seemingly perfect relationship. Simon and Betty's love is real and they do make each other happy. But there does exist a co-dependency that has worsened throughout the series as a result of their insecurity of letting a bad memory conclude their relationship. Betty's patterns are pretty clear throughout her tenure as Magic Woman but not too much with Simon. Not until now.

In Jerry, Simon stops Betty from pursuing her dreams because he didn’t want her goodbye to be his last memory with her.

In Betty, Simon rewrites history and inadvertently summons her to Ooo because he didn’t want Betty’s look of contempt to be his last memory of her.

And through all of Fionna and Cake, Simon has turned into a suicidal man willing to resummon GOLBetty regardless of the reasons she can’t see him again. All because he didn’t want her sacrifice to be his last memory of her. Despite the fact that Betty’s final wish was to keep Simon safe.

There's also this uneven power dynamic between the two. Simon was far more accomplished as a professor with PhDs even if no one took him seriously. Betty was just a student offering some help, knowing she wouldn't take any credit for helping.

I’ll preface that Betty is a consenting adult in the relationship and made many self-determined rash choices that Simon would never approve of with full context. We’ve enough scenes to show that Simon actively refuses Betty’s help if it means endangering her.

However, Simon’s perception of Betty and his own inadequacy did influence her personality for the worse. Fionna questions Simon on two occasions about how strange it was for “someone she just met to drop everything to go with you”. Even within the flashbacks Betty verbally describes her internal conflict between her individuality vs. her infatuation with Simon and the guy never picks up on it.

Whether he’s aware of it or not, Simon always ends up becoming the center of attention during Betty’s greatest life-changing events because he’s always suffering in some way. And sadly in-character, Betty always prioritizes him first because of how sorry she feels for him.

Simon: Just hold my hand to your face, this will be my… last sensation.

Betty: Don’t be a wimp, Simon!

I don’t want to be too hard on Simon, his suffering is cosmologically depressing. An undeniable tragedy that no one deserves to be alone on. It would be unfair to say he’s being dramatic about something most if not any human would ever go through. He’s not a leech for desiring help, especially from his significant other.

But I do think it’s important to point out that he does have a major flaw in not reflecting on the consequences of Betty’s choices.

Fionna: Damn, that’s romantic. So, you got on the bus with her?

Simon: Yup. Uh what? No. No. Why would I-

This is the reason this post exists. This is the show explicitly telling us that Simon has never really thought about what Betty lost because he thinks his love was greater than the passion Betty once had.

Let's go back to Betty once again for what is honestly the most justifiable takedown you could make of Simon's character prior to the miniseries.

As stated earlier, Simon opens a portal to ask for Betty's forgiveness with a few seconds on the clock. And in that time, he essentially just unloads a giant drama bomb, trauma dump of his suffering leading Betty to ask what she can even do without him. And if the plan went as it was, Simon would've just left her a hundred questions that she'd never have answered for the rest of her life.

Simon: Just know that I love you and I forgive you for leaving me. Author's Note: I dunno, isn't there something a bit off about how he worded this?

Now Simon didn't ask for Betty to jump into the portal, but he certainly was asking for it subconsciously. How else would he have expected a person who loves him dearly to act after this?

Taking any measures necessary and finding a way back together obviously. That's what he's doing too!

And reiterating again, this is the reason why Betty goes on her ego-suicidal quest. This is Simon's greatest mistake, his greatest moral failing as a person and he doesn't seem aware of this.

He’s not wrong that Betty lived happily with him. In spite of losing her dreams, Betty and Simon did love each other unconditionally. But he’s missing the bigger picture about how he could’ve been self-centered in deciding Betty’s fate for himself.

And maybe to stretch somewhat, I think even the quest to become Ice King again is somewhat motivated by his inability to live as anything more than a victim. Some of it is because the citizens of Ooo were being a bit inconsiderate about how much they liked Ice King yes, but Simon should be perfectly aware that Marceline, Betty, and now Fionna would be extremely concerned about him for doing this. Yet, he doesn’t really consider their feelings too much on the matter. He’s too used to the suffering.

Please have one scene with Marceline, I'd be sad if we don't get to see at least one.

This leads me to how I believe Fionna and Cake may rewrite Simon’s ending.

The key is in the episode Temple of Mars.

Upon rewatching the episode, I’m convinced that the Adventure Time cast had a greater plan with the Betty and Simon arc that just never came to be due to production constraints. A lot of Betty’s history and the deconstruction of her relationship with Simon in Jerry are surprisingly details that have already been told.

I thought it was an animation error that Betty’s glasses were different in Jerry but it turns out the continuity director is just that good.

The trip in six months, Simon stopping her, and the realization that Simon superseded her identity. Seeking independence from Simon is the lesson that Normal Man was trying failed to teach her.

Betty: I’ve spent so much time dedicated on Simon that I’m not even sure if there’s any “me” left anymore.

But the most telling detail is how Betty passes Normal Man’s test.

Finn: Even if you are a lost cause, she is not!

Betty: No, Finn’s right. You’ll thank me for this later past Betty.

In an alternate pocket reality, she changes her trip to the day before, preventing Simon from stopping her. And I think Simon will have to change fate once again to do the same.

If Simon comes to realize that he was the one who set Betty to her terrible fate, that all this time his rose-colored lens of their relationship had been detrimental then he could give her identity back. But it can’t be as simple as changing the moment Betty turns into GOLB or Magic Woman or even bringing her through the portal in Betty.

He needs to let Betty go on the bus. Alone.

It’s the only way for Betty to have her life back. If not for his Betty, maybe at least to save one in the multiverse doomed to the same fate.

They both need to cherish their time on the Enchiridion trip back when it wasn’t too late for Betty to go on the trip. Back when they were both equals and not tied to Simon’s needs.

Jerry is absolutely setting up something big with Simon and Betty’s relationship for next week and now that we’re going to the GOLB dimension, we’ll see how he remembers these moments again.

Personally, as someone who has been skeptical about Simon's peace for years, Fionna and Cake's second episode was like a sigh of relief. Simon hasn't found his ending yet, and my hope is that this epilogue will help me see the man happy without having to relive Betty's sacrifice for the rest of his life. Just like the rest of Adventure Time, it'll have to end with him cherishing the time he had with Betty regardless of the inevitability of losing that relationship.

PS. Isn’t quite strange that at one point in time, Simon sought after magic objects that ostracized him from the normal world and now, he lives in a house full of 1980s-1990s objects that ostracized him from the magical world? Maybe he was never really satisfied with where he was in the present.

PSS. I really wanted to write something on Fionna for the Ep 3-6 releases, and I still have the idea, but I couldn’t make it coherent due to how much my brain overthinks everything to the point of cognitive collapse. If there’s enough interest, I’ll go back to write it again.

[alkeneater]

man my parents are dumb af

wdym depression is not real and the real cure is walking outside on a sunny day (not joking my dad literally said that to me)

imagine seeing your kid struggling in high school, skipping uni almost every day, sleeping all the time, crying constantly, ATTEMPTING, spending a month in a psych ward, taking meds for a year and a half (prescribed by a fucking specialist) AND STILL THINKING THAT THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THEM

I know they really want me to stop seeing my psychiatrist (they believe it will fix all my mental problems), so I started to lie to my doctor that i'm feeling better. I wanted to make my parents happy. I thought they would love to know I'm doing that. And you know what they said? "If you're feeling worse, why do you lie to your doctor? You want to get rid of depression or not?". Okay, guess I got them wrong. Today I told my doctor the truth and he renewed my treatment. Told my parents about that. Thought they would be proud. Guess what? I'm wrong again! They said smth like "It's because of that damn phone, just go outside and touch some grass, stop seeing these doctors for god's sake". Proper treatment = wrong. No treatment at all = wrong. I don't know what they want from me. Seriously. What the hell? What I'm supposed to do?

You see, while I was getting no real treatment, I tried to cure myself with my own methods. Compulsing overeating, sugar addiction (it boosts my mood), maladaptive daydreaming, hyperfixations, selfshipping (and then it became something more than a coping mechanism oops), self-isolation (when i'm feeling bad), bottling up my emotions, people pleasing, just distracting myself from being one on one with my sad thoughts. I did everything to make myself as happy as possible. But it doesn't seem to work anymore, I fear. I thought I have to finally get my shit together and get some real help. This is objectively better than whatever I'm doing right now. And I'm being judged for that. By the people who must take care of me. Sigh.

THIS SUCKS.

btw friendly reminder: my dad's pharmacist. He knows something about the medicine and was in some medical school before. And he says i can treat my depression with a simple "just stop being sad". BRO 😩😩 shut your bitch ass up

Honestly I just wish I was normal.........

[mochinomnoms]

Cater having a really bad depressive episode to the point where he is using his um way to much to keep up with the cay-cay people want to see

Cater getting to the point he can’t even bring himself to make a clone bc people find him annoying anyway right? So he’s probably doing them a favor by not showing up

Riddle, tray and the light music club being some of the only ones that pick up on caters overuse of his clones until one day he just doesn’t show up at all and going to check on him

I live for angst and have chosen my next victim for when I temporarily run out of ideas to torment cater with 😈

-🐝

Me, worried for the next victim:

i jest, i jest, we all love a good bunch of angst, I'm preferencial to humor and fluff myself tho.

As such, I like to think that Cater does get a lot of support from Trey in particular. They are pretty close, they were roommates up until their third-year, so Trey has a good grasp on Cater and his moods. Riddle is very perceptive of his dorm members, even if he's only been around for a year. Normal he'd be furious about Cater ditching, but by now he's a bit more (just a bit) mellowed out. Trey explains to him what's going on and while he's pushing for Cater to see the nurse (lord knows that Crowley doesn't pay for a counselor), he's instead offering to get Cater his missed work and speaking to the profressors on his behalf. After all, he cares for his dorm members and Cater is no exception.

I imagine that only Lilia really notices that he's using the clones, Kalim is so sweet but not nearly as perceptive. He doesn't wish to intrude, but Lilia has both seen and experiences first hand how bad depressive episodes can be. Cater finds snacks and notes left for him in his room after leaving for the bathroom, writing in Lilia's hand writing with a kind reminder that he is cared for and only his presence is really needed for people to enjoy him for him. Kalim managed to convince Lilia to also sneak in a plushie that he swears up and down that is a cure for all bad feelings (it's his parrot plushie that he's had since a kid).

Idk, he's got depresso espresso, but he's also got good friends. It'll take time for him get better and it may never really go away, which is why I'm now going to threaten Crowley with arson so that he'll hire a therapist and counselor brb-

[a-iya]

Sooo what are your favorite characters? (*・ω・)ﾉ

omg!! i'm so sorry it literally takes like 4 business days for me to reply to stuff x_x favorite characters like of all time? this is an impossible question to answer 😩

i have too many and one simply cannot choose just one character from any show to pick as a favorite ugh. i guess i can start with the main shows my blog consists of/the shows that have a lot of different kinds of characters (each one has at least 4 omg 😭)

demon slayer

rengoku (the literal love of my life, the one who started it all, the main reason i got into anime, the cure to my depression at one point?? i get emotional just thinking about him sometimes. i go back and listen to the mugen train soundtrack just to hurt my own feelings)

shinobu (🦋 [can't add my blog tag for her cause it's an emoji but she has some of the prettiest fanart ever], gorgeous character design, color scheme, overall aesthetic, classy. she deserved more out of her life than being in a constant state of anger 😭)

inosuke (i have no tag for him but he is my fav from the main squad. he is chaotic as hell and caveman-ish in the most hilarious ways. his pretty face makes it that much more ironic)

nezuko (the cutest baddie ever. so pretty. protective of tanjiro and comrades. how can you not love her)

zenitsu (his cowardice is actually really relatable. his expressions are sooo funny in the show they've got to be one of the best)

obamitsu (i love them so much individually, i love them so much together, i literally love them so much. literally black cat and golden retriever energy in the best ways. the last episode with iguro's jealousy was so funny and such a treat omg)

jujutsu kaisen

the main trio's dynamic (i enjoy them all as individuals, but when they're together the silly antics and the chaos that ensues is so dear to me. gege was so wrong for what he did to each of them. if i ever see him it's on sight)

nanami (my man, her man, everyone and their mom's man...! literally impossible to not like him. the miserable corporate life is just so relatable. but the fact that he's still such a good man at the end of the day and wants to protect the children ;-; WHERE are the men like him irl 😭 i will never forgive gege for what he did to him,,, gege,.., when i cATcH you gege.,.,..)

ino (my ABSOLUTE FAV underrated man?? his skater boy aesthetic makes me wEAK!! and correct me if i'm wrong but he just gives off major himbo energy. he's such a puppy, i love him so much 🥺 also fun fact i met his VA, who also voices tanaka from haikyuu [i don't think i will ever shut up about this])

gojo (for obvious reasons. handsome, funny, good at everything. at the same time he cares so much for the youngins it's really touching. but also he's just so unserious about everything i wish i had even an ounce of his confidence fr. an uncontested king, he deserved better 😭)

geto (oh geto (be forewarned: only depression posts in this tag). it hurt me so bad to see his descent into madness. i think his story and especially his relationship with gojo is beautifully written. the visual symbolism is also heavenly in the most melancholic way. he reminds me a lot of eren from aot. i felt his exhaustion and hopelessness from the depths of my soul. i think about rengoku when i want to be hurt in a good(ish?) way, but geto is my go-to when i'm in the mood for straight depression)

yuta (a blorbo if I've ever seen one. so precious. very sad about his current state. if gege kills him off there will be no one left 😭)

choso (normally i don't care for emo boys but he's so 'i am onii-chan,' it's endearing and also kind of funny. other than that he's really quiet for the most part but also like responsible and cares a lot about people he's close to. i ship him and yuki. i remember finding out about his death when i'd first logged into tumblr one day and i was devastated. how does gege manage to kill everyone 😭🤡)

my hero academia

shoto (see tag: SHOTOOOOO. my favorite boy. i love how the angst just completely left his body after deku forced him through his inner turmoil during the sports festival. competent. obviously one of bones' favorites given he's always drawn so handsomely)

kaminari (he is so dumb and i love him for it. good vibes only and even if a bit perverted, still super respectful and funny. bones always animates him with the most hilarious expressions. love him and jiro. also love him and mina as last in the class. and him and kirishima for being able to handle bakugo's difficult personality in stride!! he is so stupid and happy and i love him omg)

kirishima (a himbo!! the friendliest and most encouraging jock ever. i would've appreciated if i had a presence like him around when i was in high school. so manly!! i love how he just gets along with everyone. him and tetsutetsu are such an iconic duo. i also love how silly him and kaminari are [and sometimes bakugo too lol])

jiro (she is just so cool. introverted and operates mostly on the sidelines/behind-the-scenes, which i relate to and am also most comfortable with. she's like me if i was cooler and musically talented and had a rocker girl aesthetic)

most of class A (you can't hate any of them!! except for mineta maybe but the rest are all so cute and quirky [haha 🤪] in their own way)

mirio (energetic and positive and caring and such a bright light. also very hardworking. i'd love to have someone like him around in my life)

recovery girl (funny and sweet and a badass!! we love to see an advocate for the wellbeing of young heroes in training)

present mic (he is just such a funny announcer and narrator. always has something to say and i love his energy)

vestiges kudo and en (they are just..,., so handsome..,.)

love their character design/color scheme/aesthetic: nejire, hawks, shiozaki, shinso, lady nagant, the green arrow girl from world heroes mission

attack on titan

jean (a motherfucking STALLION. the man that he is ugh 😩 shoutout [and rip] to marco who is honestly the reason for his amazing character development. truthfully, i think he could've done better than mikasa at the end [and i love her but it's so obvious that she only ever had eren in her heart] but i appreciate his consistency)

hange (just wants to be left to her own devices and be her true, unhinged self. i respect it. i love how everyone also just accepts her eccentricities and no one really makes fun of her for it [except levi of course but i love their dynamic so much])

erwin (the kind of leader we all wanna see!! intelligent, competent, respectable, pragmatic but also caring and inspiring. knows how to and is capable of make difficult decisions. a charismatic pillar of the military fr. i get so emotional when i listen to eren zahyo [hiroyuki sawano the goat fr] because of his scene at the end of S2. i search it up on youtube sometimes just to feel something honestly)

bertholdt (my poor boy. got absolutely nothing except wronged 😔 it hurt me so much to see him have to be the villain in S2. another blorbo who deserved the world and was literally thrown out the window once he was killed off. justice for my boy! 😭)

sasha (i miss her so much!! she was so funny and wholesome. a simple gal with simple needs. her and niccolo were so (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) tragic ugh. it breaks my heart)

pieck (her voice!! she also voices nakamura in assclass which i talk about here later. as for her character, she is super intelligent, respectable, and admirable as a female soldier. i'm a sucker for good covert ops and she's definitely one)

colt (handsome, caring older brother to the death. i wish we saw more of him. he deserved better ;-;)

avatar: the last airbender (and korra)

toph (a badass. witty, funny, also really smart. does whatever she wants and gives no fucks)

azula (cunning. gorgeous. a crazy bitch and i love her for it. i wanna be her so bad)

asami (gorgeous. smart. talented. hard-working. literally the whole package. you wanna hate her but you just can't??)

airbending kids (jinora, ikki, meelo. all their voices match their personalities so well?? jinora is so smart and respectful, ikki is so sociable and good at interacting with people, and meelo is hilarious. i literally want to be all of them)

mako/bolin (i love them as a duo. they balance each other out and as siblings they just make so much sense)

wing/wei (they had so much potential for content as twin himbos 😭 so handsome too. i wish we saw more of them in the show)

assassination classroom (not a big anime but 10/10 would recommend this series. it's like a shorter mostly lighthearted version of mha with the wholesome school stuff)

koro-sensei (how could you hate him ;-; the more the show goes on the harder it is to accept his fate)

kayano (she's so cute. secretly crazy but for good reason!!)

kurahashi (she's literally sooo cute!! 😭 so fluffy)

nakamura (just the coolest girl ever. if i knew her irl i'd probably be intimidated by how cool she is)

takebayashi (he's kind of lame [i believe the current term for it is 'boyfailure'] but i just like him!! i can't explain why)

isogai (our fav poor class president!! he is such a nice and respectful boy)

maehara (a flirt and a playboy. i mostly only like him because he's handsome and he reminds me of kaminari from mha. i also love his friendship with isogai)

chiba/hayami (iconic sniper duo. very low key. i enjoy this introverted ship so much)

mashle

finn (the most normal™️ boy in this series. i'd love to be friends with him irl. he seems to be the only reasonable one in the group lmao. i guess he's considered kind of lame? but only cause his friends are wack jobs *affectionate*. his power is really cool and i think he deserves more interactions with his brother.)

lemon (my fav kooky girl. she'd host such a good girls' self care night imo. i feel like she deserves more attention but she's all good vibes and just so lovely)

dot (kinda crazy. almost the boy version of lemon? they give off the same chaotic energy but he's a good boy at heart and very golden retriever. he deserves the love he so wishes for!!)

abel (i don't care much for his character but aesthetically with the purple hair/clothes and his eyes i just. also his voice is nice and deep)

animal crossing

clay (my son. my bagel boy jr. the cutest baby boy to ever exist. he is never leaving my island)

ruby (my daughter. my fav rendition of the moon rabbit. also never leaving my island)

flurry (my emotional support hamster. got me through some tough times. my coping mechanism before anime. i let her leave my island and i regret it so much 😭)

julian (gay best friend i've always wanted and never had. he's too cool for me and he knows it. probably also knows he's too good to stay on my island but i will not let him leave)

dizzy/papi (literally so adorable. my sons who have since left my island)

marina/cheri (my daughters who have since left my island)

diana/whitney (they are just gorgeous and they know it. that is all)

aesthetically just love their character design: roscoe, spike, apollo, cyd, fang, hopper (do not ask me why i have no idea), tiffany, cleo, coco, aurora, roald

celeste (the nicest most adorable astronomy owl ever!! gives you the cutest star/space-themed items)

flick (sullen emo gay with a rocker aesthetic. hyper fixated on bugs. what's not to love)

pascal (hippie otter that's just vibin'. high all the time and i respect it. i love the way he looks. i wanted to buy a phone case off etsy with him on it and i still regret not getting it to this day [it is no longer for sale 🥲])

timmy and tommy (the cutest twins!! ...twins!! [iykyk lol]. happy and hardworking and literally the cutest tanukis ever.)

[gayhuckleberryinatrenchcoat]

Can I just say for a second: the supernatural fandom is the sweetest, most caring group of people I can imagine and I adore y’all to bits!!

Yesterday I made a post about having a real bad depressive episode and I just really needed anything spn related to help me keep kicking through the night and y’all really came through and sent me so much stuff that I’ll be occupied for the next weeks probably.

I can’t even explain how much this helped me already. I can’t describe how much it means to have so many strangers take time out of their day to check in and send me stuff to get me through.

I feel a bit better today. Ofc my depression isn’t magically cured (I wish there was a spell) and I know some days are better and some will be way worse again but rn I feel like I might be able to fight this shit until I’m better again.

Y’all got me through a really dark spot and I’ll keep coming back to all those messages now and especially when I feel that bad again.

So thank you for being the kindest and sweetest fandom on earth, I can’t express how much your messages mean to me!

Supernatural already got me through my first horrible depressive episode a few years ago and it seems like it’s doing it again. Idc how strange it sounds but it’s the one thing that works for me, especially since I can’t have therapy or antidepressants, so I’ll cling to it until things are better again.

This post is probably incoherent rambles but I just wanted to say thank you all so much for being there, I truly wish you all the best💚💙

[mdhwrites]

A Beautiful Understanding: Envision a Rose Forthcoming

There are many things that Honkai Star Rail has surprised me with, especially within its sidequests. Ones with silly twists, neat ideas and just simply good execution. With my issues with Penacony's main story though, there was certainly one element that I hadn't been prepared to see amongst it all. Spoilers ahead for the sidequest: Envision a Rose Forthcoming

I was tempted to screen grab essentially this entire final conversation but I only grabbed two. This first one probably resonates with many of you though. It is something anyone with depression has had to face, especially in their darkest hours. During those times when it is so loud that it feels all consuming. Like there is only it.

Worse yet, Cocona talks of compromises she's made with the voice. Parts of herself she corrupted or cut off in order to appease it. To try and mold herself into what could be happy and to lose that which causes her pain. To appease others but especially to appease this voice that will not stop.

Until the voice was all there was.

I characterize in my own works the idea that when someone goes to that darkest place, there isn't really thought. Nothing can penetrate the void that's consuming you as the misery is all that faces you back. Personifying it as a voice that cuts all else out, that has you entirely in its grip, is a great other way to put it though. When your thoughts tell you that yes, cutting the nose to spite the face is exactly what will help, even if both are a part of you.

But.

It is not wholly cold, nor is your intervention a miracle that cures her. To get this, you have to stay with her. Refuse to let her disappear, even as she asks you to allow it. Make sure she knows SOMEONE cares. Someone is refuting the voice that seems to be her entire reality. You are there for her and that's what matters. Admittedly, you do it by grabbing her hand and not letting go and I'd prefer it to be that it's that you simply won't leave but that's really my only complaint with the sequence.

Otherwise, I think it's just an incredible depiction of someone at the brink. The rest of the quest does a good job depicting her depression as well. You literally have to fight and destroy her ego as she wants to stop having desires and caring about her dreams so that it's easier to forget the pain but things only get worse for it. You see her outside of her mindscape struggling to even pretend to be happy and people talk about how despite the fact that she has a good job is well respected, she is still miserable for no reason. The fact that a doctor who just wants to literally cleanse her of the emotion of sadness says this makes me want to punch them in the face and it frankly sold me on The Family being corrupt and crooked more than literally anything in the main plot since this is what they believe to be a good 'doctor'. You can see the struggle though and do you know what happens when you give Cocona the medicine?

She refuses to take it. She performatively does but she has her memories and emotions back and doesn't want the numb. Doesn't want something that only makes the pain tolerable. As someone who has to look at his own medication, after so many failed and even now still trying even old ones to see if they'll do something now... A common fear for many is that the meds will make them lose who they are. That they deaden life and I'm happy that the game didn't depict that as a positive. That cutting those things off isn't how you get better.

It's just a shockingly respectful depiction of depression, even to the point of wishing for it to end, and that's kind of the last thing I actually expected to see in Star Rail. Even larger games that are trying to be deep and contemplative with their main stories on these subjects can end up shooting themselves in the foot. Try to act like there is just a cure or that it can be fixed all too easily. To treat it like a disease that just needs the right medication.

And admittedly, to give this sidequest a happy ending, they have her find joy in life again through a passion she'd been forced to put down. As someone who is happiest when they're able to write though... Embracing the bright side of yourself, and finding those clouds parted enough to allow you to do so, can genuinely do wonders for someone. As far as ways to wrap this up, in a SIDEQUEST, it's very good and well setup as the way she may escape her dark days, at least in a way we can believe will stick.

It's a good reminder for me of why I still want to stick with this game. I don't consider a good portion of Penacony's main story content to be sincere. Its sincere elements are to some extent twisted for insincere uses and it sours my favorite parts of the content. That isn't how Star Rail always is though. When it just wants to tell a good story with good, heartfelt characters, it knocks it out of the park with shocking regularity.

It's why Belobog will continue to be my favorite world and I'll keep waiting for the next time they believe such a simple tale can be strong enough to lead us somewhere new. That it can be hold the audience at the brink, without feeling the need to let them go just for the shock of it.

Not when it itself knows better than to glorify such a fall.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[sleepy-slenderman]

Greetings, I Am The Archivist.

I Come To Request Information For The Purpose Of Collection And Archival Of Slendlr And Adjacent. Would You Be So Kind As To Help Me Upon my Quest of Knowledge?

If So, Please Answer The Following Questions Below.

If You Do not Have An Answer to Questions Or Wish Not To Answer Some, Feel Free To Skip them. Some Questions May not Be Applicable To All Characters.

Additionally, All Questions Are Strictly For The Slendlr Character(S) Listed Here: Sleepy Slenderman

And May be Answered In Character Or By The Blog Moderator(S) Out Of Character And Are Not Asking For This Information Of The Moderator Themselves.

Questions:

Character's Name/Aliases:

Nicknames (If Any, And By Who If Specific.):

Gender And Pronouns:

Orientation (If applicable.):

Are They A Slenderman (Regardless Of Gender), Slenderfolk, Slenderbeing Or Adjacent/Other/NA:

Status (Alive, Undead, A clone, Etc.):

Relationships (Romantic or Queerplatonic If Applicable):

Familial Relationships: (If Applicable):

Additional Relationships, Please Specify (Ex. Friends, Allies, Enemies):

Are They 'Related To/Based On' Any Specific Animal/Creature/Plant/Etc (Real Or Fantasy If Applicable):

The Character's Gimmick Beyond Being A Slender (If Applicable):

Is The Character And Adjacent Blog A Lore Heavy Blog:

Any Fun Facts You Think Are Important To Note:

Is There An Image/Drawing You Are Ok with The Archivist Using As A Visual Reference Of the Character Alongside The Written Archived Information Provided?

Final Question. If You Are Not Having A Good Day, The Archivist Hopes It Will Get Better.

Thank You For Your Time And For Answering What Questions You Felt Comfortable Providing Answers For. Have A Good Day.

,Sincerely The Archivist. ( @the-archivistslendlr)

woah the slarchivist……

Character’s Name/Alias: Sleepy Slenderman

Nickname: Sleepy

Gender and pronouns: man(???) (man adjacent), he/it

Orientation: doesn’t care enough to figure it out

Yes, it’s a slenderman

Status: alive

Relationships: n/a

Familial relationships: n/a

other relationships: not close with anyone in particular

character gimmick: is perpetually tired and frequently voices that

lore: not lore heavy at the moment, just for fun

fun facts:

is an atrocious gardener. truly awful

when experiencing strong emotions, whether positive or negative, he emits very quiet white noise that people around him can hear. the white noise is harsher the more negative the emotion is. he has no control over this

has chronic insomnia and doesn’t actually sleep a lot. he really only sleeps during the day for a couple hours at a time

knows that it was Something before it was a slender, but has no memory of its time before being Sleepy. this frequently distresses him and could be the source of some of his sleep issues, so he prefers not to think about it

started smoking lavender in an attempt to cure his insomnia. it doesn’t work, but he does it anyway

likely has autism, ADHD, and depression, but ignores it

i hope you’re having a good day too slarchivist :)

[cupcakefactory]

Paring; Zen x OC (although tbf, no name is mentioned so we can use any rfa member)

Wc; 437

Warnings; I wrote this while depressed and struggling with isolation so like 🤷‍♀️🤡

Dedicated to someone who helped me through everything, I hope you know your silence speaks more than words to me, Your smile when you read this gave me confidence when everything felt lost. I love you ♡

"Athena...?"

A murmer from behind forced her to put the phone down, the same phone she'd been staring at for the last half an hour as tears stained her cheeks. People could be cruel, she knew that - she knew that more than most, a young girl was an easy target to manipulate and as an adult she found herself undoing all the knots those adults left behind.

No one had protected her as a child, those who's job it was simply turned a blind eye and let the world attack her to the point most insults and comments were easily swept under the rug. It wasn't that they didn't hurt her feelings, they did, but when that hurt was just being added to a bottomless pit it was easily to ignore.. for the most part.

But everyone broke, the strongest athletes fell and hurt themselves, the scientists of the world used the wrong formular and ended up without the cure - even the teachers who went through years of training sometimes had to take a step back and double check something. If the best of the best broke, why wouldn't a simple actress?

His warm arms pulled her from the dissociation, she must have woke him - was she that loud? Or was it that sixth sense they always joked about? She supposed she'd never really get the answer, not that at this moment she cared. Everything hurt. He knew as well as she did that the bottle she kept tightly closed would be forced to burst at some point, only so much pressure can be handled.

"Its okay.. whatever happened we can fix it we always do"

He waited for a moment but didn't expect a response, too often than not she fell into silence when struggling with her mind - he wished multiple times that wasn't the case for he couldn't be sure she wasn't being cruel to herself without him knowing. He ran his fingers through her hair, a little knotty from not being brushed yet but still soft enough to create a pleasant experience. She relaxed slightly into his arms, kicking her phone onto the floor as his gentle movements helped calm her down.

He didn't move again until she looked up, those blue eyes reflecting her tears in a way he'd find magical if not for the fact she had to be crying for him to see it. She tried to say something but he saw the struggle, shaking his head as he placed a kiss on her forhead with a small smile. They'd work though it, they'd be okay - that much they both knew.

[derangedanomaly]

[scampers over on all fours like some fucked up horror movie creature] good afternoon. i heard people liked my oc a bit (which is making me EXPLODE from happiness that’s so so sweet, all of you guys are so creative too!) which led me to think more about her!

a big question i had while developing her is WHY is Ellinette there? i’ve thought about SO many reasons but i really like the idea that Ellie was actually raised with a loving family. a mother who surprised her in the morning with a warm breakfast, carrying it up to her and gently shaking her shoulders with soft whispers to wake her up. a mother who always did as much as she could for Elle before she left for work for the day, playing short games or listening to her ramble for a bit. anything to show that she cared for Ellinette, her darling daughter. a father who cares just the same, making one of her favorites for dinner whenever she felt down. a father who taught Ellinette everything she knew now about cleaning and made it fun, made it a game so it wouldn’t bore her to death. he even taught her how to sew. a little sister who forced her to play dolls, but the two loved creating such silly stories even when irritation struck. a sister who scribbled various ‘get well’ cards when she heard Elle wasn’t feeling good. such an understanding and kind family, how could she ever part?

Nightmare promised her the one thing her family couldn’t. a cure to her severe depression, a way to set all those agonizing thoughts aside, a way to never think about them again. she knew it was too good to be true ans she knew she was stupid for not even asking what he wanted in return. Elle jumped at the chance to feel normal. to be normal for her family, so her mother didn’t berate herself for leaving her eldest daughter who she could tell was unwell everyday for work. to be normal for her father who practically made her comfort food every other night, confused on how to approach her feelings but wanting to show her he’s there. her poor little sister who couldn’t understand why her older sister just wasn’t getting better, why Elle would lay in bed all day long for months at a time, why her short bursts of excitement lasted barely a day before she crashed again. her sister never even understood that she didn’t have a cold.

Ellinette needed to be normal for them. perhaps she should’ve thought it was suspicious even more so when he only agreed she’d just not feel that aching emptiness in her mind. now, she knew what he meant. forever serving, at anyone’s beck and call, leaves little time to contemplate if you’d be better off dead. it didn’t fix her, not one bit, hell her anxiety spiked. Elle was worse than ever before but now? nobody here would help her, whether due to Nightmare or because they didn’t care. the small inhumane breaks Ellinette had left her to reflect on her family. how was momma doing? what about papa? dear god, if there is any at this point, what about my sister? those were all she could think about before something else had her attention. the only real thought she can come up with even while working is that she wished she’d never taken Nightmare’s hand, nodded her head, and let herself be taken away.

- yugioh anon, ramblin’ again >n<

YES! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!! That's exactly what Nightmares did to (almost) everyone working for him lol. Offering them the "one thing they can't resist"

[dufferpuffer]

Just read your reply to my reply...

And i really understand where you are coming from.

Actually, a few days back i was reflecting as to why this particular character has struck a cord with me when i just move away from characters I do not like and don't sit around thinking about them...

But with Lupin I often try to avoid him...

One reason is for the obvious that I am not interested in his fanon version.

But even if I read metas like yours Or good story with him being complex, I turn them off and look the other way.

I see myself reflected in him too much. With his illness and his own struggle with accepting it and unable of finding a better way to live a considerably and comparably healthy life. His avoidance. His single-minded ness.

My own struggle with my ADHD and depression, make me look selfish in other peoplE's eyes. Like I don't care. When truth is far from it, sometimes your own problems, big Or small, wraps around your head making you unable to look around and make room for people to see you and accept and in turn make them seen too.

Reading you talk about him makes me feel seen in a way. But i am not ready to read a story about him because for me fan fiction is a way of escaping the troubles of real life where the protagonist gets a happy ending but i know that realistically an absolute happy ending is not in bag for remus if we are being honest.

So, at a stage in my life where I struggle to make life work with a disease that is pulling me down, I don't find solace in reading about him. His canon self makes me uncomfortable in truth.

You are like a strong person who accept that he has issues and you deal with your issues by discovering the life and struggles of him as a character...

I am in terms total opposite to you on this. I avoid him like my life depends on it. This is the first time i have admitted to even myself as to why canon lupin is a no go to me.

I dunno if its about 'being strong'. Just being different. I think it's strong to dislike something - and be able to take the time to think about why - and thus understand yourself better as a person. That's what fiction is for, right? Thinking about yourself + others. Sometimes you relate with a character, sometimes you don't... and sometimes you really don't want to. Sometimes you learn from their lessons, and sometimes their lessons just hurt. 'realistically an absolute happy ending is not in bag for remus if we are being honest.' ...yeah, you're right. Remus story isn't happy. Its a tragedy, from start to finish, where he makes mistakes the whole way through - and has his chance for happiness ripped out from under him by dying young. That can be damn painful when you relate to parts of it.

I hope things get easier for you, with your work/health. I don't wish you a 'cure', or a 'full recovery' - those things are really nice, but sometimes are unreachable. I wish you some more important things: Comfort, time away from pain so you can rest. Stability, where you can trust the world won't collapse around you. Understanding from others, support - so you don't feel alone. Some good distractions, like hearty and happy fanfic ;) ...And maybe some chocolate. A werewolf told me it helps.

[opinated-user]

"I made the mistake of giving a shit about something" reads like something I would have written prior to getting medicated for my Bipolar Disorder. While I cannot and should not diagnose LO with anything over the internet, these kinds of destructive, "I should give up on everything" thoughts are common among people with mood disorders who are having a mental health episode. Approaching this with good faith and assuming that it is not in any way a manipulation tactic actually makes this more concerning, not less.

I understand that getting mental health care and finding the right medication takes time and is an imperfect process. However, I do believe that these depressive episodes are impacting her quality of life, and that she should start trying to find a solution to this. What avenue of mental health care to pursue, she would know better than I would, but I don't think that this kind of public breakdown is going to help her through this.

Even though LO is known for manipulation, a part of me recognizes something genuine in this. She needs to pause and focus on self-care instead of focusing on the internet. That's what it took for me to get to a better place and it's worth it. I just wish she'd actually do it instead of spiraling like this. I've been there, it sucks, but it's not somewhere she has to be mentally.

(And before anyone goes "well her spouse/friends should help her", mental health is not that simple. If pure love cured illnesses, we wouldn't have nearly as many mentally ill people as we do in the world.)

anon, i deeply respect your intention to try to give LO the benefit of the doubt and treat her compassionately... but i don't really believe is that deep. as said in other post, she has done this exact thing before, multiple times. the only thing that comes out out is that she goes about her business as usuall or she'll make up some other huge lie so we talk about that instead. this is not to say that she couldn't be going through a dark time... but that's out of our business already. we can't know what LO's mind is at or what she needs or what she feels inside or does when no one is watching. i absolutely agree that LO would probably benefit from receiving real therapy from an actual licenced therapist and her way to conduct herself is probably not the healthiest or more productive, but i or anyone else can't say anything else. the only thing we can do is react to what we see out in the public. LO publicly made this whole show about being harassed, without showing any proof of harassment, right after we call out her terf utopia as a terf utopia. those are the facts. anything beyond that is pure speculation that we can't confirm, and it wouldn't be in our power to do anything about it either.

[i-fucked-your-milkshake]

At my lowest point in my life my friends dragged me from my shitty apartment and made me come live with them across the state. They told me I didn’t need to pay them rent for a while. They told me “all we want from you is to do the dishes and take a shower everyday.” Didn’t matter how I was feeling. When I wanted to just lay in bed and hope that I would literally just wither away. While I sat there daydreaming about dying. When all I wanted to do was cry. I still knew that no matter what else was happening or whatever I was feeling, I needed to do the dishes and shower.

And it’s so fucking corny but for a couple of months there that was my entire purpose in life. I lived and breathed doing the dishes and taking a shower everyday. I had a reason to get out of bed. And slowly, I started doing more.

After doing dishes I would clean the counters. After taking a shower I would go on a walk. I started applying for jobs. I started reading. I started listening to music. I started smiling again. I got to a place where I wanted to work on myself, wanted to take meds and go to therapy and wanted to stop hurting.

And it’s sounds so fucking cheesy right? Like “doing dishes and taking showers cured my depression” but it’s more complicated than that. It wasn’t the dishes or the shower, it was having a feeling of purpose even if that purpose was kind of silly. It gave me something simple and actionable I could do to counter the voice in my head telling my that I was worthless and should just die. It was the tiniest of footholds in a deep pit of despair.

And yeah, I can’t deny having a place where I was loved and accepted was a gigantic portion of this. I can’t deny that having people tell me that they cared enough about me to not let me fall was fucking massive. Like I said, it’s a lot more complicated than just doing the dishes and taking a shower.

But at that time in my life, doing the dishes and taking a shower were fucking Tasks. They were, when I lived alone, things I Could Not Handle. And having friends show me that I am, in fact, capable of handling the absolute basics of adulthood was life changing in ways I can’t really explain.

I wish for you all the same. I wish you all can have someone tell you that you’re important and capable. I wish you all the realization that no matter how worthless you feel you can still take care of simple things to help show the darkness that it’s wrong about you.

[eolewyn1010]

Dragging Frankenstein - Chapter 18

Which is about Victor doing what he does best - nothing!

Well, except maybe moping. Sure, take weeks to get off your arse. What could possibly go wrong? Eh, people might die, but whatever. Victor is back to health, so who cares? IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 18

The world revolves around him again; all is well. Why is nobody grieving anymore? They had a couple pretty hefty losses.

Mary Shelley’s insistence that good weather is all that’s needed to cure unholy rage or depressions is getting weird. Well, if that doesn’t do the trick, get engaged!

“You were attached to each other from your earliest infancy” – which makes for a healthy romance, I’m sure. INCEST VIBES: 12

Frankenstein sr. even spells it out.

Though it doesn’t get spelled out in the text enough to give it an incest count, I find it interesting how not only Victor holds power over the Creature’s love life – it’s entirely on him to give the Creature a partner – but also the Creature holds power over Victor’s love life – Victor notes that he can’t enter marriage before he has fulfilled his promise. Kind of “a bride for me before a bride for you” lindworm prince dealie.

Gotta love how he secretly wishes for the Creature to just die in some accident so poor widdle baby Victor doesn’t have to bear the consequences of his actions any longer. How inconvenient that this guy exists! Wonder whose fault that is.

How does he wanna make a new Creature in about a year? Didn’t he need at least two for the first?

“he had in concert with Elizabeth arranged […]” – once more, I’m getting the impression that Elizabeth is less Victor’s partner and more his father’s in raising the kids, so, both counts. INCEST VIBES: 13

EVERY WOMAN IS A MOM: 9

“Nay, Henry might stand between me and the intrusion of my foe.” -.- Sure he does. Does Victor not have a brain, or does he just not give a fuck? I’m inclined to go with the latter.

“I might claim Elizabeth” … *throws up in the corner*

Then Victor goes and beats me with a dead herring. “Oh, good that he’ll come to England with me – can’t think of what he would do to my clueless family if he were around them!” Dumbfuck. Also, not good writing of foreshadowing, Shelley.

“she was filled with disquiet at the idea of my suffering, away from her” – of course. IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 19

It couldn’t possibly be that, perhaps, she’s unhappy because you leave her alone in a time of grieving.

There’s our old POV fail again, mentioning the beautiful and majestic scenes and then saying he didn’t even notice them.

“…where I waited two days for Clerval. He came.” DAS GAY: 25

Geez, Victor, you need two days for that!? You’re really not good at that, are you? No, I’m not sorry.

Henry is sunshine personified. I wanna give him a lil’ kiss. What a cutie patootie himbo.

And then Shelley channels her travel experiences for a while, I guess. And waxes poetic. Fair enough. The thing about the priest and his mistress is running away from me, ah well.

“the most verdant islands that relieve the eye by their gay appearance” – what, are they swathed in rainbow colors or something? Happy Pride!

Victor begins gushing about sweet, sweet Henry and how deserving he was of any and all affection, which of course does not bode well.

“your form so divinely wrought, and beaming with beauty” o.O DAS GAY: 26

Victor, you’re gonna make Cpt. Walton jealous.

Is it possible Mary Shelley is putting too much time into these travels in an attempt to be historically accurate to a time before her lifetime? This “we need four freaking months to go anywhere” feels kind of medieval, if even that. But there’s London, here’s the fan, and the shit is already incoming.

While Frankenstein is a brilliant piece of literature, it occasionally shows how young Shelley was when she wrote it. The poor time transitions, the heavy-handed foreshadowing, the POV lapses here and there, the occasions when the plot just screeches to a halt to give us a ton of exposition, the way detailed descriptions. Kind of typical for a new writer, even in our times. I'm still blaming the husband for the purple prose and thesaurus syndrome tho.