#but i worry about it constantly especially with the political climate | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

2bpoliticallycurious · 1 month ago

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3. “The whole MAGA cult is just very frightening to every sane person.”

“As a European watching this and other elections, it continues to blow my mind how fragile your system seems to be. There is a lot that's wrong in politics where I'm from, but I fully trust our democratic process, at least, and have never once thought about anything other than my own choice when voting. The whole Electoral College thing making geography the deciding factor over which vote is important? The gerrymandering, the costs of campaigns, the different rules in different states, the voter registration, the differing circumstances under which you cast your ballots, and how they are ultimately counted.

People are being intimidated on their way to the booth, it's sometimes difficult to keep your vote secret or to avoid being influenced in the voting place, partisan people might count votes and confirm the results... Seems like the system invites malfeasance.”

—Hana, Germany

4. “It’s scary that Trump has been able to brainwash half a nation using fear and division… and can still be taken seriously in this day and age, especially in one of the world's largest economies.”

Sony Pictures Entertainment/Zombieland / Via youtube.com

—dantruemanmail, England

5. “I have so much anxiety over this election.”

“I know what it will mean for our world if Trump gets in, and it’s terrifying. I’m also pretty horrified that he has so many supporters. How can they not see he’s another Hitler?”

—nostalgicmug67, Australia

10. “We’re laughing, but also crying.”

“I’m very nervous about what could happen on a global scale. The man has constant temper tantrums and nuclear codes — great combo. That and a dictator's ambition. I’m very worried for the world. And I’m laughing at Trump supporters. People that stupid shouldn’t be allowed to vote."

—Eileen Bouman, Netherlands

12. “As a non-American who moved here last year —from the UK— I'm constantly disappointed and surprised at the extent to which people —on both sides (but more so on the Trump one)— simply do not listen to each other or care about facts.”

“People will happily repeat things they've heard that have either been proven false, or are literally impossible — and state it as if it's a legitimate reason to have their opinion.

I find it terrifying that the impact of statements is entirely down to the statement, and not whether it's actually true. People seem to have deliberately, willingly switched off their capacity to weigh evidence and make decisions based on it. Instead, they form an opinion and choose which 'evidence' supports it, happy to pick things that are made up, or simply wild conspiracy. It feels like everyone's reverting to a time before things were actually checkable. The one glimmer of hope is that most people —even those who claim to hold abhorrent, bigoted views based on lies— seem not to act on those views when it comes to one-on-one interaction. So I guess...everyone hates everyone, but not in person?”

—Jamey, United Kingdom (via Los Angeles)

23. “I think America has gone completely insane.”

Drazen Zigic / Getty Images

“As a woman, it hurts even more to know that over 70 million Americans voted for a man who brags about his sexual assaults on women. It is genuinely baffling to watch from abroad. I wish Americans could understand that the entire world is affected by the U.S. president. We are all going to suffer from the climate crisis, and the people of Palestine and Ukraine are completely f-cked. This will also affect funding for women's health in developing nations. It's a disaster all around. I'm angry…and honestly completely f-cking furious with everyone who voted for this dangerous liar. If America wants to flush itself down the toilet, that's up to them, but you'll take us all with you.”

—Hannah, Scotland

24. “I dunno what's going on in Americans’ heads.”

“At this point, I just think Americans like him. They like that he's a felon; that he gets away with basically everything; that he's a rapist; vulgar; crude; a liar; that he screws over people who worked for him; that he's going senile. They have all the info they need on him. We all do. And they like him. He reflects American values. I didn't believe that after he won the first time. People hated Hillary and didn't really know him. But now? I just think he reflects that vast majority of Americans.”

—Anonymous, Canada

25. And finally, “Your elections are insane.”

Dougberry / Getty Images

“The electoral system is nuts. Donald Trump ‘won’ the 2016 election by getting fewer votes than his opponent. Stephen Colbert, who I think is a generally smart and self-aware guy, referred to America being ‘the greatest democracy in the world’ whilst discussing an election where the candidate who got fewer votes won. That is not a hallmark of a great democracy. Also, if you want foreigners not to have opinions on your elections, you need to stop referring to POTUS as ‘the leader of the free world.’ As a resident of the free world (UK), I have some thoughts.

I'd also like to add that I don't think our electoral system is any better. Our current government got a huge majority by getting just over a third of the vote. That's silly. But I don't claim it's the best country in the world either."

—EdwardJeff, United Kingdom

Contrary to the propaganda spewed on the right, Trump is NOT considered a strong, respected leader around the world. Rather, he is considered a corrupt, mercurial, unhinged, regressive, far-right politician whose impact on the U.S. and the world will be destructive.

Most of the world thinks LESS of America because Trump was voted into office.

Still, I wish the world (and Trump) realized the 2024 vote did NOT reflect all or even most Americans preferences. According to US News & World Report, That's because about 89 million or 36% of the 245 million Americans who were "eligible to vote" DIDN'T vote in 2024.

Today (11/17/24) with 152.4 million (98.1%) of the votes counted, 76.4 million (or 50.1%) voted for Trump--only 2.7 million more than the 73.7 million who voted for Harris.

Leaving the roughly 2.6 million votes that haven't been counted yet out of the equation, that would mean that roughly 31.5 % of eligible voters voted for Trump in 2024.

So basically less than a third of eligible American voters elected Trump. That is hardly a "mandate," and hardly representative of the American people.

But because more than a third of Americans sat out this election, a minority of right-wing Republicans and low-information "Independents" have sold our country down the drain to neofascism--mostly because the price of eggs was too high--leaving most of the world shaking their heads in disbelief.

Foreigners are better informed about US politics than half of Americans.

#trump #2024 election #reaction of those from other countries #less than a third of eligible voters voted for trump #36% of eligible voters sat out the election #buzzfeed

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edwardelricsrightarm · 3 years ago

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Tell me about Edwinling! (For the ask)

Rating - 100000000000/10 I am infinitely in love with them as a concept, Ed has two hands for a reason

Ed is the most likely to cook for them all, he hates Winry having to cook (unless she feels like it for fun) because of how hard she works, so after he lost alchemy he picked up cooking to do it for her, because an alchemist's education makes for surprisingly good basis for cooking! As a result he also cooks for Ling when he gets the chance, Ling loves his food a lot and jokes constantly about "well it's better than a boiled boot- Im kidding don't kill me it's delicious I love you"

Ling and Winry team up to love-bully Ed constantly, if they're both in the room and one of them is giving him hell, the other is guaranteed to join in, they high five on the reg when doing so

Ling still flirts w Winry but he's *mostly* kidding, she jokingly flirts back and now they're just Like That but not actually together, they just share a bf and have the same weird sense of humor. They're not really involved so much with one another, but they unironically act like they're also dating sometimes and it often confuses people. They ARE very close eventually though, after getting used to each other they get along great and have similar bubbly and lively personalities that bounce off one another really nicely

When the Edwin kids were on the way, Ling moved mountains to ensure he could be there for them around time of delivery for each and every one of their children over the years, he couldn't miss it

Ling and Win both hit Ed with the Puppy Eyes technique and he's utterly weak to it every time, this never goes away no matter how old they all get

Ling (assuming this is going off of canon w him becoming emperor) has a ton of kids eventually with his wives, but Ed and Win make a point of meeting them ALL and treating them like family always

When Ed and Win got married, Ling sent a travel party to bring them to Xing for their honeymoon, all expenses covered (finally paying Ed back for the hotel bill LMAO)

They visit in both directions, Ling pulls miracles to get away from his duties a few times a year to go to Amestris, and then every few months when they can Ed and Win travel to Xing (though sometimes it's only Ed bc of Winry's business affairs)

They're all weirdly comfortable with each other, they'll all cuddle in a pile and it's not awkward for Ling or Win at all

They all will do one another's hair to varying success, Ed is fantastic with braiding and plaiting especially and is the most likely to ask the others if he can braid their hair because its soothing for him

When Winry is working on a project and Ed is hovering to watch her like he does sometimes, he's found ways to be more helpful over the years, learning enough about automail to act as an extra pair of hands ("hand me that [insert tool or bit], Ed, thank you-")

Ling sends tons of gifts and care packages to them when he's back home in Xing and missing them

Ed and Ling are CONSTANTLY calling when they're separated because they always worry, Ed especially worries about Ling and keeps up to date on Xing's political climate to the best of his ability because he's scared of the risk of assassination

There have been times that Ed fell asleep before Ling and Win, so they end up sitting up together gushing and joking about how deceivingly cute and peaceful he looks, then end up having really long sleepy conversations til they pass out

Ling keeps tabs on Winry's business, and if she ever has financial trouble he suddenly places orders for upgrades for Lan Fan whether she needs them or not because Winry won't take his charity but he's stubborn and wants to help

#fmab #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fma #fma brotherhood #headcanons #edward elric #ling yao #winry rockbell #edwin #edling #edwinling #polyshipping #edward x winry #edward x ling #text post

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13yearslater · 4 years ago

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The comment section

It’s been one of those weeks where I’ve just had to try my best to close my eyes and scroll past the news articles and their comment sections. Sometimes I still can’t help but make a comment of my own. I no longer allow myself to enter debates or arguments; I simply state my own personal experiences and anyone who reads it can do with it what they wish. My comments usually garner likes but very rarely any rebuttals which I put down to the manner in which I express myself. Previous attempts to correct, debate or argue would be jumped on by those who disagreed and were desperate to prove their stance whereas simply stating some of my feelings and experiences is less provocative and isn't easily argued since my comments are not statements or claims, they're just my life. But still, I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t exhausting to see these threads in my feed almost constantly again at the moment, especially with the recent Elliot Page interview, Laurel Hubbard possibly being the first trans woman in the Olympics, the GRC fee being reduced and... well, Caitlyn Jenner’s typically tonedeaf shenanigans.

Actual news aside, there's also the influx of articles that feel like they were posted entirely with the intent to stir up the trolls. "Transgender people do change their sex – it is discriminatory to say otherwise" was an article this week, actually written by a trans person, that just seemed like a dangling carrot and golden opportunity for everyone to say just how much they disagreed with trans peoples existence. It may be well intended, but you know exactly what the response to an article like that will be and it will not be pretty. I think back to my younger self, sat alone wondering if I'd ever be accepted, seeing the countless and overwhelming majority of comments that gave the very clear message that no, I would not be.

My comments usually centre around the fact that I'm just human. Which is sad really, isn't it? That I should feel the need to remind people that I am a person. A person with family, friends, interests and dreams just like you. That I'm not a political point or an agenda, that I am not "the trans community" - none of us are; we're all individuals, that I am more than being trans. That it's ok not to like Elliot Page or Caitlyn Jenner, but to please take a moment to consider all the trans people reading comments like yours every single day and coming to believe that the world truly hates them. It's alienating, it's lonely and it's damn near impossible not to let it worm its way into your own sense of self-worth after years of seeing the same consistent hostility directed to people like you.

I like to disarm the comments surrounding "biology" with my own reasons for transition - not because I want to claim to be biologically this or genetically that, not because I have any desire to deny that I was born female nor change that fact, not to claim some sort of mythical "100% sex change" which yes, even trans people know is not possible - but that transition for me was simply about living in a way that felt genuine and aligning my body in a way that was not constantly distressing for me. My body may not be typically male nor typically female and that's fine, all it needed to be was home. That all I request is that I am respected as a person.

At this stage of my transition, lower dysphoria aside, the politics and general social climate surrounding trans people is probably the worst part of being trans and one of the only things that brings being trans to the forefront of my mind when it normally wouldn't be. At a time when my transition is pretty much over and I am able to just live I still see it drag on in the mindsets of others.

But why does it bother me so much?

I think, as I've previously spoken about, the fear for my future is a big one. The concern that what were previously fringe movements are gaining traction and having real world effects on the lives of myself and other trans people. That the public in general are either indifferent at best or supportive of these groups at worst.

The other thing is that my own journey to self acceptance was plagued by these attitudes and comments and this was by far the toughest part of my transition. To think I'd never be accepted, never be loved, to see every-day regular people on Facebook (Facebook is one of the worst for me because of this fact; they're not faceless trolls, they're just regular people, average job, 2.5 kids, like those I see every single day) spewing such vitriol for people like me, to constantly wonder if the people in my life also secretly thought these things, to see the "you'll always be a woman" comments, to feel like a freak, an outcast, an inconvenience, to see people speak with such hostility and vitriol. To see my existence reduced to a debate or an ideology. To think that the only interaction people care to have with me is one to assert their own views and opinions on people like me. To have transitioned and reached a point where I finally feel like and see myself only to worry that no one else ever truly will.

I did come to believe that society hated people like me, that no one would ever view me as a whole person, that I would forever be less-than, a novelty, a debate, an unlovable abomination in the eyes of others.

But I don't feel like that any more. I have my self worth and I worked hard to find that after years of being beaten down. Sometimes I do wonder if I will ever find love - being trans certainly complicates that for reasons outside of whether or not someone is an ally. But what gets me now is the sense of injustice of feeling completely misunderstood and misrepresented. To have ideas and actions wrongly attributed to me because we are all seen as the homogenous blob that is the trans community. Caitlyn Jenner does not speak for me, Elliot Page does not speak for me, that article that you read online - even if it was by a trans person - does not speak for me. I want to be heard as an individual, as a person.

#text #transgender #trans #trans man #transman #ftm

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werevulvi · 3 years ago

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I hope these show up in the right order. This kinda stuff is exactly what makes me feel lost about my transness. Like I was just trying to be nice and agreed with this person's post. I had no interest in being an asshole or arguing what bio sex, or even what butch, is. I was just declaring myself as a bio female because it felt relevant to the topic and how I relate to it. It amazes me how even the pro self-ID types are against self-ID when someone identifies in a way that doesn't suit their narrative, even when it's a trans person whose identity they deny.

They blocked me and I don't want anyone going after them, I just wanna rant. And not even about this specific post or person, but more so about trying to exist as a gender critical trans person in general. I've been thinking about that for days, weeks, perhaps months or even years already, so it's really not about this specific person. I guess it was just what triggered me to finally start writing.

I guess I feel like both most other trans people and most other gender critical people, view transness as incompatible with gender critical opinions, and like that makes me feel pulled in two opposing directions. But anyone of any ideology can be dysphoric and transition because it helps them cope. I don't think that my opinions, or my choice to hang out with radfems, means that I'm self-hating, or even that I'm going against the needs of my own trans demographic. My own trans demographic is just all too good at confusing wants with needs... generally speaking. I see sex and gender the way I do because it makes sense to me personally, and I don't even argue that it's necessarily the objective truth. I don't think there is such a thing. It's just my truth, my perception of the world.

That I can't make myself see myself as a man for real, despite my dysphoria and transition, doesn't mean that I think it's wrong to transition, or that my body is damaged by it, or that transitioning is useless. Because it's not. I love my transition and everything it has given me. I'm comfortable with my transitioned body. It deserves love, especially my love. And although I still struggle with some insecurities, I feel like I love my body. It's been... incredibly good to me. It's stayed very healthy, and even keeping up a strong immune system despite my smoking, self harm, careless sexual escapades, etc. I may still have a fraught relationship with being female, but as long as I transition, I seem to be managing it fairly well. Except then I have a more fraught relationship with society instead. Can't win, but that's life, innit?

I don't think either my transness or my political opinions are my real problem or ever was. I think it's society's constant fighting about trans people's genders, lives and choices, that makes me constantly cave in on myself. Can't handle the pressure.

It feels like it's only ever getting worse. Ten years ago my biggest concern was people not ever finding me attractive because I was turning myself into some kind of a freak, which luckily I was proven to be wrong about. Five years ago my biggest concern was nonbinary people trying to normalize asking people their pronouns, which made me fear that people would never leave me alone about my gender, unless I forced myself to be hyper-masculine, which I still worry about. Three years ago my biggest concern was having been stripped of my sex-based rights and dehumanized for how I had chosen to treat my dysphoria, which I still worry about as well, and now...

...my biggest concerns are being treated as a third gender, fetishistic predator who should be shoved away into gender neutral spaces, and I fear that one day medical transition will be taken away as an option to treat dysphoria if transness is continued to be rejected as a medical condition. My heart rate is ever increasing. Can I even realistically "just go on with my life" anymore? I feel compelled to do something, but I also feel like there isn't anything I can do. No matter how many people I try to "educate" about dysphoria and why transition is incredibly important, all the while being as humble as I can, I am seriously lacking behind the much faster spread of harmful misinformation.

Thing is, I do not blame gender critical people for spreading some of that misinformation. For example of trans women as fetishistic predators, which people apply to trans men when they still fail to understand that MtF is not the only kinda trans there is, or when we dare to be just a little bit feminine while passing as male. If anything, I blame the true sources of such harmful claims, which slowly increase my anxious heart rate, over years, turning into decades, of living as openly trans. I blame opportunistic men who pretend to be trans women for gaining access to women's spaces, be it prisons, spas, shelters, sports, what have you, when they cannot possibly be dysphoric judging by how happily they swing their dicks around women as if it's no big deal and make no attempt at transitioning, but also who cares if they are dysphoric, no one should behave that way either way. I blame the trans rights activists who say lesbians have to suck dick if it's attached to a trans woman, and those who say that gay men have to be into pussy and date trans men. I blame those who say that trans women are bio female by virtue of identifying as female, and claiming that they can get periods, by virtue of... bowel cramps?! I'd also blame those who try to change female specific language on behalf of shielding trans men from our own dysphoria, in the rare cases we'd end up getting pregnant or manage to drag our asses to the gyno office for a pap smear, which... most of us really don't, regardless of if you call us women or uterus-havers, sincerely, please stop. It makes people think trans women are trying to take over the term "woman" entirely for themselves, which of course they don't.

I could go on, but I won't, as this post is not about these things. It's more so about how estranged I feel from the people who spout these things, knowing that they think they're speaking for me and my supposed needs as a tranny. But I see no point in trying to educate them, as they won't listen any more to me than they would to a radfem, and again, I think this post in my screenshots shows just how unwilling they are to listen to me.

I guess living with my transition on constant display is what's hard, and I guess I just need to vent about that, as it's always judged one way or the other; as either me having made myself into a man, or that I'm a delusional woman who mutilated herself; and it's kinda hard to find a kind and sane middle ground, that perhaps I'm just a victim of circumstances, and trying to make the most of my own life, regardless of what the fuck I am. That social shit, on top of dealing with dysphoria, makes it really difficult to not hate myself, I guess. But I have tried to live stealth and that made it if possible even worse, as it felt like I was lying, keeping a huge secret that grew in me like a spreading virus.

What I want is to just live my life, and for neither my bio sex, nor my transition, to stop me from doing that. I want to work through the worst of my autism, enough to be able to pursue a career in some low-paying labor, blue-collar job; get a car and driver's licence, find a suitable husband to have a child and cats with; I want my own garden, an art studio; I want to build muscle to become strong and even more independent (and perhaps strong enough to carry that husband, but at least to carry myself), and so on. When I picture myself in that potential future, it is with this male-like appearance I transitioned my body into, but it is also as a mother and wife.

And thinking about all of that makes me happy, it makes me smile and feel joy, meaningfulness, hope... While thinking about arguing online with some miserable fuck, who's deadset on arguing semantics and calling me a terf, when all I wanted was to show a little bit of kindness, that "hey, I agree with you, you make a good point here, and I'm not here to fight" only to be spat right back into my face... just makes me feel sad. Whatever happened to diversity of opinion? It's gone, it became labeled as bad, and left people like me with no place to be.

There is no point in arguing with such people, or even trying not to argue. There's no winning in that, there's no reward, no accomplishment. It's better to walk away.

I know I just have to get over this, this inner conflict of going against my transness with my gender critical opinions, and that I'm going against my womanhood with my transition - and be stronger than the political climate that's pulling me into pieces. But if it's peace that I want... I can just forget about it. There's no road there. But I have trouble letting go of that simple dream. The internet is constantly manipulating me into thinking I have an exciting social life, when in fact it's non-existent, and the lie is destructive. With internet vs real life, I'm living a double life. One of those lives has a future, the other one does not.

I'm glad I made this rant. It actually made me feel better, and reminded me that it's still worth it. Being trans, moving forward, focusing on what is good and what can become good in life. And it reminded me that the internet is merely an imitation of life, a substitute for human connection, and can... as with much else, be both good and bad.

#discourse #venting #tired of being pulled in opposing directions #because im not the right kinda trans #or the right kinda feminist #i have to live with myself and i dont know how #focusing back on what actually matters in life #just thoughts #gender politics #ok to rb

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fighting-these-demons · 7 months ago

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The way I thought of it it was more like Domon didn't realize until after the divorce and his post-divorce soul searching in New York that he might prefer men.

He's been occasionaly plagued by dreams throughout his teenage years but those cooled down some near the tail end and he wrote them off because surely he can't be that different.

And it doesn't really sink in until That Very Moment when he caches Kyoji and Schwarz mid-kiss that he's like

WAIT. What if The Dreams actually Mean Something?

Do I Prefer Men? Is that an option?

So far he hasn't actively considered that he Could really have that preference.

(Since political and social climates tend to swing more conservative during times of instability I imagine the current climate is hostile to Queer folk.)

He led a very Isolated life, then lost his mother, his father, Master Asia, and his brother and then he immediately got married to Rain because their love saved the world right?

So he Must love her and if you love a woman you marry her.

But everything is wrong somehow and they're constantly misunderstanding and hurting each other over so many things. And there's no attraction from Domon's side at all it seems.

He's doing everything he can to avoid sleeping with her and that's fairly easy with traditional sleeping arrangements where the husband and wife have their own rooms.

I kind of pictured it as Rain assuming maybe he just liked women that were more like Allenby and Natasha as opposed to women like her and really internalized it.

I assume they're both unaware at this point but as Domon makes that comment all of Rain's insecurities mentally slot into place for Kyoji and Schwarz who were there to support her through the end of it.

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That being said though, it would be a cool angle to do it the other way.

Maybe she picked up on it even though Domon didn't and she was afraid trying to talk to him about it would be aanother fight SSo she avoided it.

Maybe she worried about how he would react if she told kyoji and Schwarz about it because when her and Domon were together she wasn't entirely sure herself if their attraction to each other was due to their unique circumstances or based on innate preferences and it would be too much of an imposition on what feels to her like a fragile friendship with them to question them about it.

I could definitely see her keeping things to herself because she's unsure and a bit cowardly about it. That fits her well.

And then it blows up for everyone anyway when Domon, Kyoji, and Schwarz piece Domon's new post divorce issues together.

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Also yes I was envisioning a Full Buzz for comedy but Long Hair is great too and he and that dude have exactly the same headband and He looks like if Domon stole Argos clothes. 😂

I love this man and I love the vision of Ponytail Domon.

Especially because he wears it low when trying to be stealth and wears it high when sparring.

Later after the Mirror Mirror Kiss and working his issues out with his brother to support him he'll come to realize that he was actually trying to look his best for Chibodee and he feels So Embarassed by the memory.

Hello Internet Stranger looking up G Gundam on Tumblr dot com!

This is an idea for a fic set in an Alternate Universe involving Queer Non-Canon Relationships between the characters of the series.

If you are not looking for this content please scroll on.

If you ARE looking for this content - and you're ok with reading my and other's Headcanons for this Alternate Universe I've haphazardly spun up -

Then go ahead and feel free to:

Check The Tags Of This Post For The Pairings

and click the Read More below!

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Ended up outlining a completely different fic as a Segway for an explanation instead of making progress on the Royal Flush Haunted Honk AU's Clown Motel Fic like I wanted to but uh....

For y'all's review for the AU: A Prequel Outline - Divorce Saga Domon

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Hey real quick - I'm thinking of maybe changing the timeline to 2 years post canon as opposed to 3 years and change post canon.

The reason being: I had a thought that this scene could either be part if the fic or if it's getting to big then it could be a stand alone tie-in prequel fic as part of this AU but - like

Immediately Post Divorce Domon Needs Space and runs off. As one does. And he runs to Earth because he just wants to Get Lost for a while.

He has Argo smuggle him out to avoid detection.

Argo has Andrew help stow Domon in a storage hanger of a Neo Canadian supply ship that's returning to the US - they have trade often enough and share agricultural resources - which leads to Domon ending up in New York when he hits Earthside pavement.

He's privately worked on his English the last couple of months and after being dropped in New York with a different hairstyle, outfit, and accent he's unrecognizable.

He considers making his way west to get some solitude in the wilderness, but something about that initial plan feels off now that he's on the ground.

Chibodee is also Earthside for a special series of prize fights aimed at raising charitable appeal for the US in the eyes of Neo Americans.

Domon decides to hit up Chibodee for a fight on a day between matches hoping it'll clear his head and give him the clarity to decide on a course of action. What ends up happening is an unexpected heart to heart via blows and a breakdown.

Domon is happy for Rain and Kyoji, and he knows it's not true; but he feels like he lost a piece of himself when his relationship with Rain fell apart.

Domon's instinct is to run after that but Chibodee knows this city and Domon doesn't hide out for long before Chibodee drags him back to his place to stay and just "Chill out and breathe. You don't have to be anyone but yourself here. You can take as long as you need to find out what everything changing means for you." Friends and teammates stick together.

So Domon spends a few weeks with Chibodee sparring and hanging out in New York. Chibodee does a frankly awesome job at containing his feelings because he's focusing on Domons feelings and being a good friend first and foremost. Whatever he's feeling can wait until after Domon is done going though it.

There's a bit of a twinge in Domon's heart as he leaves that he can't really place.

After he returns to Neo Japan and gets settled back into life with his family, The Dreams start.

They're mainly set in New York. Small things first like noticing Chibodee's smile and his eyes. Then sparring sessions that begin to turn lurid.

He thought these kinds of dreams would stop after he was married.... he doesn't know what to do about this.

I just figure it gives more clarity and sense of time for the journey from Comphet Marriage Dissolution to Feelings to Confession. Idk.

But I got stuck on a bit and then had this thought and needed to get it down before I lost it and it was so long it made sense to make it its own post as opposed to several replies.

The Maize and Clown Motel will probably still be 3 years and change post canon for clarification.

@thedragonchilde @amplexadversary @youreaclownnow

#Royal Flush Haunted Honk #The Divorce Saga #g gundam #mobile fighter g gundam #domon kasshu #rain mikamura #schwarz bruder #kyoji kasshu

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dimitribelikov · 4 years ago

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The Belikov Chronicles: The Tasha Conundrum Pt.3

✶ The conclusion of my Tasha Conundrum series ! This one features the lovely balcony moment they shared, all from Dimitri’s POV. ✶ notes : All dialogue is straight from Frostbite, chapter 17. The rest is mine, based on characters written by Richelle Mead. ✶ warnings : some language ✶ ships : romitri ✶ Part 1 | Part 2 | more Dimitri one shots

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After the strange discovery of Rose in Adrian’s room, and the conversation that followed with her, I couldn’t seem to get the young dhampir off my mind. Most of the day was spent with other guardians, working over logistics and plans for possibly pursing the Strigoi. Or at the very least, keeping the resort as well protected as possible. It quickly became obvious that the biggest threat to the Moroi under the Idaho’s ski resort’s roof was actually themselves. Their squabbles over the politics that surrounded the attacks, and how best to deal with them, turned into full blown arguments at every turn. Some even resorted to physical fights. It was a mess, and certainly enough to occupy my mind.

Except my thoughts continually returned to her.

The revelation that I was actually jealous of Adrian nearly knocked me off balance. Jealousy wasn’t something I felt often and it gnawed at me constantly, making my insides ache. Fortunately, guardian training came with emotional temperament and I was able to hide all such traces of emotions.

Though Tasha’s hopes of rescuing me away to play pool that afternoon were dashed, she was able to get me away for lunch. It was nice being with her, pretending that the rest of our problems didn’t exist. She could speak so passionately about her views on the world, which always captured my full attention. As she spoke over her half eaten cobb salad, I began to imagine a future with her. What would life be like if I accepted her offer? Surely it was a once in a life time opportunity. I may be young, but the idea of the freedom to be a father and even a husband was thrilling. Maybe because it was something that I had written off so long ago, knowing it would never be in the cards for me. Yet here that future was, presented on a silver platter. All I had to do was accept.

The problem was, when I envisioned myself happy at someone’s side, it wasn’t Tasha. I tried to convince myself that my imagination only inserted Rose because I had already grown accustomed to the idea of working with her in the future. Yeah, even I knew that was a load of bullshit, though. The memory of our heated kiss in the gym, only a few days before the trip, still burned on my lips.

“I should get back,” I said abruptly. From the surprised look on Tasha’s face, I had a feeling that I had interrupted something she was saying. Thankfully, my job and the current climate of affairs made my anxious demeanor make sense. We parted ways and it was back to work with me, doing everything in my power not to think of dark, wavy hair that felt like silk between my fingers . . .

Later in the evening, I was assigned duty at Priscilla Voda’s party. I blended into the background just as I was trained to do. It was dull and uneventful, save for the pompous touting of rich ass wipes that had no clue what they were talking about. Adrian was of course there, drinking and talking to a few royals. We made eye contact at one point, and though I kept any emotion from my face, I was sure he detected my icy warning glare. The jerk actually had the audacity to smirk back as though amused by it.

Then Rose and Lissa showed up. The dress Rose wore should have been illegal. I couldn’t be distracted while working, but the way it clung to her every curve was certainly putting my focus to the test. My fingers felt warm, recalling the feeling of pulling another dress off of her months before. We’d been under a compulsion spell, but I wasn’t naive enough to think that the desire I felt was any less real.

I tried to look anywhere else, look at nothing while seeing everything as the guardians do, but when I glanced back, she was talking to Adrian. Now my fingers burned with a whole different reason. They wanted to punch the jerk-off and his wandering eyes. But before I could dwell, Janine entered . . . And actually dragged Rose away. It was stealthily done, and I don’t think anyone aside from Adrian noticed. Except me, of course, because I could keep my eyes off of her. What a hypocrite! And there I was, chastising the Moroi’s wandering eyes.

Although part of me cheered for her breaking up Rose and Adrian, the rest of me knew better. My heart sunk. I knew that Rose’s relationship with her mother was rocky at best. Janine was as badass a guardian as they come, and though I assumed it would be a great honor to have her as a mother, I was beginning to understand Rose’s resentment.

Knowing that the princess was safe, I left after a couple of minutes later in search of Rose. Our earlier awkwardness ( and even coldness ) was in the past. If I knew her, she’d be alone, keeping her pain to herself, but deeply in need of a shoulder to lean on. I couldn’t explain why I needed to be that shoulder, but instinct drove me straight to her.

When I found her, I could have laughed at how correct my assumption was. Except there was nothing funny about the sight. Rose was still wearing only the tight dress, and it wasn’t nearly enough to shield her skin from the frigid air. She turned to me, and I could see the sadness in her dark eyes. The sunrise illuminated her face in a way that took my breath away. How could I have ever imagined a future with someone else when this goddess existed?

She turned away wordlessly and I figured since no sarcastic and scathing remark about Tasha came, that I was welcomed to join her. I took off my jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders, hoping it would help, then took a seat beside her. “You must be freezing,” was my lame attempt to explain my actions.

“The sun’s out,” she replied, just as lamely. What an awkward pair we make, I thought.

Rather than point that out, I looked up at the sky, taking in the warm rays and the look of the light as it washed over the picturesque scenery. I loved the outdoors and the sunshine, and often lamented its loss while being on a vampiric schedule. Something about the outdoors always brought forth a rush of adrenaline in me. Maybe it was how it reminded me of the Siberian countrysides that I’d grown accustomed to as a kid. Rose could joke all she wanted about it being a frozen tundra, but in the spring and summer, it was like heaven. “It is,” I agreed. “But we’re still on a mountain in the middle of winter.”

She didn’t bother to correct me or defend herself with another sarcastic quip. In fact, the most wonderful thing followed. Nothing. We sat in silence, though there was nothing awkward about it. We were content in enjoying the sun together and simply being in each other’s presence. This was something that Tasha could never give me. For all her promises of a future that was out of reach for most guardians, there was never silence between us. Sure, I loved her impassioned speeches and the stories she told. We could laugh together for hours.

But what I had with Rose was something I’d never felt before. It was an understanding that ran so deep that we didn’t need words to understand one another. Maybe that’s when I knew that I couldn’t accept Tasha’s offer. Obviously life with Rose would always be complicated and far from easy, but it was better than a life without her. Even after the few, short months with her, that was something I simply couldn’t abide.

It was Rose that spoke up first, as though the words broke through of their own accord. “My life is a disaster.”

“It’s not a disaster,” I told her automatically. There was beauty in her life, and I wanted her to see that. I wanted her see how that beauty effected those around her, including me.

“Did you follow me from the party?”

Busted. “Yes.”

“I didn’t even know you were there,” Rose admitted. “So you saw the illustrious Janine cause a commotion by dragging me out.”

I could hear how embarrassed she was by the whole ordeal, and in a way, I could understand. I could guess Janine’s reasoning, but I personally didn’t agree with the action. “It wasn’t a commotion. Hardly anyone noticed,” I assured her, trying to make it sound like it wasn’t that big of a deal. But then my lips kept moving and traitorously said a bit too much. “I saw because I was watching you.” Did that sound creepy? I’m pretty sure that sounded creepy.

Mercifully, Rose ignored the comment. Although part of me had hoped for some sort of inkling as to how she felt about it. Maybe she really was too into Adrian to notice me now . . .

“That’s not what she said. I might as well have been working a corner as far as she was concerned.”

Janine was a very different sort of mother than mine was, but she was still someone I respected and looked up to. I honestly didn’t think that she had such a dark view of her own daughter, but that she had a hard time expressing her honest emotions in a normal way. Honestly, a lot of guardians struggle with that, especially the older ones that had more time to harden. “She’s just worried about you,” I tried to reason. I hated seeing Rose hurt like that, and though I felt completely out of my element, I wanted to help.

“She overreacted,” was the immediate response.

Well, I couldn’t really argue with that. Instead, I said, “Sometimes mother’s are overprotective.”

The look Rose gave me broke my heart. She was a brilliant, passionate, and amazing young woman who only wanted a shred of love, but continually got pushed aside. I felt spoiled suddenly, knowing that even though I hadn’t seen my family in years, that they would always welcome me with a warm hug and happy faces. “Yeah, but this is my mother. And she didn’t seem that protective, really. I think she was more worried I’d embarrass her or something. And all that becoming-a-mother-too-young stuff was stupid. I’m not going to do anything like that.”

Ah. So there’s the problem. “Maybe she wasn’t talking about you.” I must have dropped a hardcore truth bomb, because Rose looked stunned. At a loss for words. And Rose Hathaway was never at a loss for words.

Another silence passed and I knew she was re-evaluating things in her mind. I was happy to sit with her, giving her the time she needed and whatever support I could provide. When she spoke again, it was a statement that seemed out of left field, but couldn’t help but amuse me. “We aren’t fighting right now.”

I glanced at her, arching an eyebrow at the observation. “Do you want to fight?” I asked, enjoying the little playful mood that we had turned towards.

“No. I hate fighting with you.” That made two of us. “Verbally, I mean. I don’t mind in the gym.”

That actually did bring a small smile to my face. “I don’t like fighting with you either.” It seemed an obvious statement, but as the words left me, I knew how important it was that she know that. I hated when I had to be the “adult in charge”. Rose was my equal in so many ways and I reveled in the way we could be so at ease around one another.

We shared an honest, quiet, and warm moment as we locked eyes. That was why her next statement completely took me off guard.

“You should take it.”

At first, I had no idea what “it” was. “What?”

“Tasha’s offer. You should take her up on it. It’s a really great chance.”

Now it was my turn to be stunned. At first I was frustrated that she’d assume that’s what I even wanted, especially with the way I had currently been looking at her. But quickly, I realized what a huge step this was. She was growing up and able to put her own hang ups aside if it meant someone else’s happiness. That was the Rose I knew and the Rose that I was quickly falling in love with. Yet she still took me by surprise with it. “I never expected to hear you say anything like that. Especially after–”

“What a bitch I’ve been? Yeah,” Rose said, cutting me off. I wouldn’t have called her a “bitch” exactly, but things were definitely strained between us. “Well. Like I said, I don’t want to fight anymore. I don’t want us to hate each other. And . . . well . . .” She paused and I could tell this was hard for her say. I was patient, though, silently watching her. “No matter how I feel about us . . . I want you to be happy.”

I could see the pain in her eyes, but all I felt was an overwhelming warmth and admiration. Rose could be petty, sure, but deep down, she was the most amazing person I had met who put everyone else’s needs above her own. And apparently she still had feelings about “us”. I should be discouraging that since there was no way that we could be together, but with the morning sunlight around on us on that private balcony, it felt as though the rest of the world and its problems didn’t exist. It was only Rose, who I learned didn’t care about Adrian more than me. Rose, who had unwittingly found her way into my heart. I knew there was no going back now.

Unable to help myself, I put my arm around her. “Roza.” I didn’t know what else to say as I pulled her to me, getting to be her shoulder to lean on. And honestly, with her, I knew I didn’t have to say anything else. We sat like that for a while, breaking every rule and crossing every line I had set, but it didn’t matter. There was nothing sexual about the way I held her. This ran deeper than that.

It felt like far too soon when Rose was standing up and handing me my jacket. “Where are you going?” I asked, knowing full well that I should also return to my post. Leaving our little snow covered sanctuary was the last thing I wanted to do, though.

“To break someone’s heart,” Rose replied. I didn’t really understand what she meant ( although my gut told me that Mason was about to have a bad night ), but the resolute look on her face wasn’t something I was going to take away by asking for details. She left, leaving me alone in the freezing morning air with much to think about. How was it possible that in just a few days Rose had managed to evoke so many conflicting emotions within me? Pride, lust, aggravation, jealousy, and now adoration.

I turned back to the sunlit landscape, knowing one thing was certain. I had made my decision. I was going to have to break someone’s heart, too. Tasha would survive, but Rose? I knew I couldn’t live in a future without her.

#vampire academy #dimitri belikov #rose hathaway #romitri #vampire academy fanfiction #ᴏɴᴇ sʜᴏᴛ ✶ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇʟɪᴋᴏᴠ ᴄʜʀᴏɴɪᴄʟᴇs

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ofcloudsandstars · 4 years ago

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October Magical Dates and Astrological Transits

Welcome to the most fantastic month of the year! My birthday month Halloween month!! We are sandwiched between two powerful full moons that will take us on a journey deep within ourselves to find where our energies could be suppressed, where we feel oppressed and how we can empower and transform ourselves. Each major celestial event feels like part of a chapter of self discovery and empowerment that leaves us shedding away what we no longer need and having to transform ourselves to evolve into an elevated new level.

As usual I will make additional posts on some important days as they come but below is the full month of October!

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Week 28 - 4

1st - ☾♈ Full moon in Aries Happy Lunar Festival to those who celebrate it!

We kick off October with a full moon!! The fact that this month is framed by full moons and full of transits that force us to confront our buried emotions sets the tone for October and for us to make peace with our shadow sides.

This moon is very special for a number of reasons as it's the Harvest Moon (the full moon near the Autumnal Equinox) and it's the Aries full moon which packs a lot of power. The Aries full moon often asks us to step aside and focus on our needs and goals especially in relation to our partnerships or what we may contribute to a relationship. This full moon may be an aggressive presence in rocky relationships where people's needs may erupt to the surface if they are not being met or honored by their partner.

This fiery moon will be conjunct Mars rx and Chiron in Aries merging our unresolved childhood traumas with our repressed energy and motivations that the mars retrograde brings. Full moons can be cathartic and this can demand us to bring release to what we may have buried away. Challenges can trigger our deep emotions that may get expressed through explosive anger, yet it's a time to take note of what those feelings are and try to heal by making healthy decisions that honor our feelings. This moon will also trine Venus in Leo which will help to smooth it out and bring a pleasant vibe to it's energy. Venus does want to have harmony and trines love unions so in the realm of relationships this can bring a moment of peace or compromise and a window to discuss anything that needs to be addressed in relationships. Finally this full moon may feel intense with the squares coming from Jupiter rx, Saturn and Pluto rx in Capricorn. We may feel burdened by our responsibilities, restrictions (especially with Covid regulations), the powers that be that are constantly avoiding reform. This can also add to the tension of the mars conjunction and feelings of repressed anger or suppressed energy. We will be craving release. It's a good time to focus on how we can redirect our energies to honor our needs especially in relation to our inner child and what needs we were neglecting before. Full moons are great for release and attraction magic so you can use the energy to draw your new reality towards you, however if you are feeling the frustrations of the squares, take a moment to do some visualization meditation to really ground the energy and emotions of the reality you want. Try to avoid going into manifestation carrying that frustration or else it can seep into the reality you are trying to attract your way. With the moon in Aries, it's a great evening for fire-based magic. Candle magic goes well with attraction and manifestation spells.

2nd - ☾♈ Venus enters Virgo

A new sensuous cycle begins as Venus enters Virgo. When Venus is in the sign of healing yet practical virgo, we tend to express our love and care for others through acts of service and being supportive towards each other. We tend to find enjoyment and pleasures in things that are sensual yet practical. We may feel more inclined to treat ourselves through self care that honors our health and physical well-being. We could easily feel guilty if we are too self-indulgent or frivolous in this time. It's a wonderful transit to practice self-love in the everyday tasks such as taking care of our bodies and appreciating wholesome foods and activities. The shadow side of this energy can be us being overly critical of ourselves, picky with our partners or worrisome. However instead of worrying about what we cannot fix, we should try to turn the energy inwards to help nurture ourselves and whichever insecurities arise, find ways to be patient with ourselves and focus on inner healing.

3rd - ☾♉ Pluto direct in Capricorn Moon enters Taurus

The energy of this outer planet is moving direct finally. Though it is still in it's shadow, the period of introspection, inner soul-connecting and facing our deep shadows has come to the end of this phase. It's now time to address the grip of power coming from powerful authorities which dominate our lives and undermine our power. A lot of these themes were already brought to light this year and these themes will grow only more climatic as we approach the year 2024 when Pluto will complete it's return for the USA's government chart. (Even if you don't live in the USA, the impact of these political events can ripple across most of the world). The structures revolving around massive businesses run by oligarchies and police states are slowly decaying and transforming and the period of reflection has come to it's end for now.

4th - ☾♉ Moon in Taurus When the moon is in Taurus, it's a good time for taking things slow and to relax. It's a great time for kitchen magic, earth and plant-based magic and self-care magic.

----------------------- Week 5 - 11

5th - ☾♉ Same as above yet this moon will be void of course so it's a good rest day and best to not start anything new.

6th - ☾♊ Disseminating Moon | Moon Trine Sun Moon enters Gemini

The waning gibbous moon is a great time for taking stock of your progress during this lunar cycle and celebrating any little successes you’ve managed to accomplish so far no matter how small. It’s a lovely vibe for socializing, spreading generosity or just taking the moment to enjoy life. When the moon trines the sun it’s a harmonious time that brings a lot of luck. When you take stock and realize that you may not be where you’d like, then it’s a good time to catch up on work to help you out or do magic to bring opportunities for doors to open for you. It’s a good time to wrap things up or spend time socializing or alone enjoying life!

7th - ☾♊ Mercury in Scorpio opposite Uranus rx in Taurus Draconids Meteor Shower

The combination of Mercury opposite Uranus rx along with a meteor shower can bring unexpected happenings, sudden epiphanies and new insights. This energy can also lead to other unexpected happenings which can bring discord and slight chaoticness. Though today is not a great time to make plans, it is a great time to go with the flow and be open to exciting encounters or changes in our paths that life may bring us. The energies today may bring many surprises and sudden changes that may electrify us as it brings something new to our routine yet it can also impact areas such as transportation or technology and cause it to have issues. Give yourself a bit more time with commuting or patience with electronics today. Magically this is a great time for trance meditation with binural beats to help bring in new insights or activities such as freewriting to get your stream of consciousness out.

8th - ☾♋ Moon Enters Cancer

When the moon is in Cancer it’s a good time for magic around the home such as cleaning and cleansing, kitchen magic and bath magic. It's a great time for self-care rituals and water-based magic.

9th - ☾♋ Last Quarter Moon Mars rx in Aries squares Pluto in Capricorn

Though last quarter moons are generally reflective, this last quarter may feel very intense with Mars rx squaring Pluto in Capricorn. We may feel the same themes of being repressed by authorities or powers that be that surfaced to our consciousness during the Aries full moon being revisited today. We may reflect on how these powers have suppressed our energies in the past and contemplate how to overcome them today. It's a great day for road-opening and barrier breaking magic to get rid of obstacles in our way.

10th - ☾♋ Venus in Virgo trines Uranus rx in Taurus

This transit bring a lot of benefits for us to try new things or meet new people that can help us push our boundaries and broaden our perspectives. It's a great time to honor our values and individuality (especially in the themes of our health and work ethics) by exploring new hobbies or anything outside our usual routine. This is a great time for creativity and experimentation especially in the areas of you connecting with your individuality.

11th - ☾♌ Sun in Libra squares Jupiter in Capricorn Moon enters Leo

Today is gonna feel dramatic and optimistic yet with a shadowy side to dive into excess and pump things up. Jupiter squares tend to add gas to the flame which is great for our enthusiasm and energy levels yet it can lead to over abundance, over confidence, over spending and over indulgence. Paired with the moon entering dramatic Leo and our confidence levels and disregard for our usual restraints may fly out the window. (HAha it's my birthday today...) It's a great day for partying and enjoying life yet also knowing when to pull the plug. Make sure to budget yourself wisely today, put on lucky or protective charms and not over indulge. It's a great time to show gratitude and make offerings towards the spirits that look over you.

----------------------- Week 12 - 18

12th - ☾♌ Balsamic Moon | Moon Sextile Sun Jupiter in Capricorn sextiles Neptune rx in Pisces Mercury in Scorpio sextiles Venus in Virgo

The Balsamic Moon is the waning crescent moon after the last quarter moon. It's the perfect time until the new moon to shed what you no longer need. It's a time of taking action for banishing, cleansing and shedding. The next few days will have aspects that will push us to face our shadow selves along with hidden traumas and ask for us to shed what is no longer needed. With the Jupiter and Neptune rx sextile, it will make it a dreamy and magical day. It would be an excellent day for magic, celebration and exploring our creativity and path. Jupiter will want us to expand on our creativity and connection to our spiritual side today with it's sextile with Neptune rx. Anything ranging from divination, trance meditation, astral projection, dream magic and journeying would be a great idea today as the energies will encourage us to experiment. Mercury will also sextile Venus which will push us to want to deeply explore our connection to sensual pleasures in a healthy and practical way and maybe create that connection between what is healthy, wholesome and practical which can enrich our minds and connect us with our souls. Today is a great day to plan a ritual, do meditation and any type of magic that encourages you to explore yourself and your boundaries.

13th - ☾♍ Sun in Libra opposite Mars rx in Aries Moon enters Virgo

Mars will be incredibly bright in the sky this evening as the sun moves opposite it. We may notice a red star shining brighter than usual in the evening sky as the sun fully illuminates the retrograding planet. However energetically this aspect can bring up external events that can force us to reckon with our sources of motivation, our source of drive and repressed energy or anger. Where we may feel that our energy is stifled or repressed can come out unexpectedly through events that may trigger us to face this aspect of ourselves. With the moon now in virgo we may be able to look at these passionate emotions through an analytical yet healing perspective. We can easily find solutions to express our emotions and understand them in a clearer light. Today would be a great day for shadow work in understanding our repressed energy and how we can find a solution to express and release it.

14th - ☾♍ Mercury retrogrades in Scorpio

Every other planet this year has had some time off so it's no surprise Mercury is ready to join the club. Mercury is about to go retrograde for the next few weeks, diving us into our deep underworld to face the shadows hidden in our psyche. Eventually it will retrograde back into Libra forcing us to re-evaluate our personal values and relationships. Whatever shadows that are unaddressed lurking in the corners of our mind will come out now to be reckoned with. Just in time for the spooky season!

15th - ☾♎ Sun in Libra squares Pluto in Capricorn Moon enters Libra

To add to the flavor of yesterday, today we get to experience the INTENSE square of the Sun and Pluto locking horns. This energy can trigger fears of being controlled against our will or more aware of our shadows that may bring up our need for control. There could potentially be ego conflicts with other powerful people or authority figures that will tighten their grip on everything. We could either feel pigeon-holed today which can create challenges that force us to either defend ourselves or make a major change or cause us to crave power in order to control the situation around us. If desires for power emerge today, pay attention to what your shadow self is telling you and reflect on the source of these deep rooted fears. Is it coming from past negative events? Traumas? Even past lives? Is it from current events? Working out what negative emotions may arise today can give us insight on the general theme of this month of where we feel that our energy is repressed and how we can make changes to break free from our current shackles. (There is also this theme coming from Uranus still being in retrograde as well). Additionally the moon will have entered Libra and begun it's new moon phase and will be opposite Mars rx today so there will be emotions emerging from repressed energy that we will be more aware of and be able to observe. With mercury retrograding in Scorpio it will be a great time for shadow work today as well.

16th - ☾♎ New Moon in Libra Sun in Libra opposite Chiron rx in Aries

The moon will be opposite the sun today as it begins it's new cycle in Libra. The new moon in Libra asks us to review our values, what makes us balanced and our relationships for this cycle. This libra season our values have been questioned, along with perhaps, our stance in situations or previous compromises which could have undermined our freedoms and repressed our emotions. We will be asked during this new cycle to re-align with our values, evaluate the relationships that still align with our best selves and make changes in areas that do not reflect our values or that may suppress us. This moon will also square Jupiter, Saturn and then Pluto in Capricorn tying together the themes of where we may feel burdened and oppressed. Especially with the global political climate it's a good time to see where our complacency has lost us our freedoms and where we need to take action to ensure us a better future.

This new cycle may feel more confrontational than the usually harmonious libran energies we are used to. The Sun will be opposite Chiron rx in Aries bringing us potential sudden external events which could trigger our inner trauma, show us where we need to heal physically and mentally and make us more aware of adversity that we need to overcome. We may be brought to more awareness of what trauma could have fed the shadow sides or toxic traits that have been holding us back. As we are in Shadow Work/Shedding season it’s a good time to look into these traits during the beginning of this cycle and shed away what no longer holds value for us.

17th - ☾♏ Eros enters Virgo Moon enters Scorpio

The lil' asteroid of passions and inner fire moves into Virgo today shifting our inner fuel to find more spark in the areas of life revolving around service our health and practicality. We may be more reasonable and solution-oriented while pursuing our passions. We may find more interest in sex that is acts of service towards our partner or healthy exercise embedded in our routine. With the moon entering Scorpio it's a good time for sex magic and shadow work.

18th - ☾♏ Venus in Virgo opposite Neptune rx in Pisces Sun in Libra squares Saturn in Capricorn

Today may feel like it will drag on forever with the hard Sun and Saturn square bringing a dull desaturated filter to the world. We may feel restricted and burdened by our responsibilities or by authority. This may feel extra unpleasant with the new wave of Covid that may look to restrict our freedoms and make us worried about our stability. Additionally Venus will be opposite Neptune's Retrograde which is a recipe for some messiness. This could be a helpful time of reflection where we could have been seeing another person (or even more abstractly- a business, an idea or alignment of whatever) through rose-colored lenses that could be ripped away by this transit. We can finally see them for who they are and how they might have hoodwinked us in the past. On a negative side if we haven't yet learned the lesson this opposition can be the recipe for scammers or more people to come and take advantage through glamours and tricks. Be wary of your spending today, your boundaries, your CREDIT CARD INFORMATION ONLINE lol (negative Neptune transits ALWAYS brings out the scammers), and make sure to put up your wards today. It can be a day that drags on forever and may feel a bit gloomy especially with the moon still in Scorpio but you can help it go by quickly by working with the Venus and Neptune rx opposition to seeking out art that aligns with your values or spiritual beliefs. Watch films that make you feel magical or paint, draw, write, create what you love when you get a moment. If the Saturn square makes creating anything too difficult then watching a movie or favorite show can help with the escapism.

----------------------- Week 19 - 25

19th - ☾♐ Venus in Virgo trine Jupiter in Capricorn Mars rx in Aries squares Jupiter in Capricorn Ceres direct in Aquarius Moon enters Sagittarius

Though yesterday could have felt heavy, today the energy will feel Spectacular!! The mood will shift to being more lighthearted and optimistic with the moon now in shimmering Sagittarius. The jupiter energy may feel a bit more fiery and sparkling than usual with Jupiter squaring Mars rx which will only swell our inner desires and passionate emotions and drives that will need to explode outward!! If we are feeling repressed, there is no hiding that energy any longer with this volcanic transit! However to help bring some joy to this energy we have Venus in Virgo trining Jupiter bringing harmony to our values and creating luck in areas of generosity, spending time with loved ones and honoring our values and what we love. This is a day asking you to align yourself with what makes you feel most authentic. Lastly the little dwarf planet Ceres goes direct finally so we will feel that boost in areas of being nurturing and caring towards others especially in regards to our roles in our community. Now that we have took some time to nurture ourselves during it's retrograde, it's time to consider how we can contribute our support to our communities.

20th - ☾♐ Waxing Crescent Moon | Sun Sextile Moon

With the moon in Sagittarius during this waxing crescent period, it's an excellent time to experiment! Review on what you've reflected on or what intentions you've set during the new moon in Libra (aligning with our values and relationships that serve our greatest good / seeking harmony and justice and not compromise for the sake of "peace") and try out new things that align with your goals. Especially after yesterday's transits we may have a better idea of what those things are and with the moon in Sagittarius we may feel more aligned with our personal philosophies and faith. Optimistic Sagittarius will want you to expand on these ideas and experiment in any way you can!

21st - ☾♑ Venus in Virgo trines Pluto in Capricorn Moon enters Capricorn

With the moon still in it's waxing crescent experimental phase, we may get a boost of intense and incredible energy asking us to reconnect to ourselves on a soul level. With Venus trining Pluto we get that added intensity and passion connecting us with our values on a visceral, powerful soul level. Anything that can bring us joy and satisfaction or loved ones or beliefs can be connected with on a deeply intimate level. A new relationship during this time would be very intense (great time for a soul mate), yet on a negative side this transit can give power to obsessions which we must be aware of how to curb if it goes too far. However today is an excellent day for love-attraction magic if you want something deep and intense, decorating our space to have meaning or reflect our values or express ourselves in any genuine way. This is a good time for soul-searching, attraction magic, sex magic and anything art-based.

22nd - ☾♑ Orionids Meteor Shower

With the moon in Capricorn, it's a good time for organization, addressing our tasks and responsibilities, ancestor magic, earth and mineral based magic and during the void of course, reviewing our work this cycle so far. The Orionids Meteor Shower can bring in energy from beyond to help us broaden our insight. If you catch a glimpse of a 'shooting star' make a wish!

23rd - ☾♒ Sun enters Scorpio First Quarter Moon Moon enters Aquarius

We enter the Spooky Season officially as the sun enters the dark and mysterious Scorpio. This season marks the middle of autumn where everything is starting to wither and decay, the nights are growing longer and we are feeling the chilly winds that kick up the skeletons of dead leaves. With Mercury retrograde in Scorpio still the deep underworld themes of Scorpio will feel strong as we are asked to face our inner shadows as we descend into the darkness. Today also marks the first quarter moon in Aquarius. Looking back at the New Moon in Libra we can think on the themes of us aligning with our values and people that support and reflect that as well and with the first quarter moon that theme will ask us to strategize on how we can express these unique part of ourselves as part of our roles in our community. The themes of the community may be brought to the surface with this first quarter moon and many people may want to take action, however this moon phase is best for reflection and taking that pent-up energy to strategize. There is always a time for action during the waxing gibbous phase when energies are more harmonious. If you are feeling blocked and restricted during this square it's a good time for barrier-breaking magic to dissolve any obstacles in your way. Focus on what opportunities you'd like to attract or what you need to move forward and do magic to bring that your way or break through whatever is holding you back.

24th - ☾♒ Venus in Virgo trines Saturn in Capricorn

This is an excellent day to work on your self love, self confidence and commitment to your values with Venus trining Saturn. If you have been having a rocky relationship with others it's a good time to work out the rough patches. This is also a good day for artists that may be procrastinating on work or that put a project to the side to continue building on it. Additionally it's a great day for love attraction magic (or any attraction magic with this theme: ) with a type of relationship that is long lasting, committed and reliable.

25th - ☾♓ Sun conjuncts Mercury rx in Scorpio Moon enters Pisces

The theme of our inner descent will be front and center today with the sun conjunct Mercury rx in Scorpio. It's a good time to take the day slowly, not make any serious plans and do some self reflection and shadow work. Whatever emotions that may arise we need to bring awareness to and release what no longer serves us. Especially during this time of year it's a great time to be aware of our shadows, make peace with repressed energies and release toxic beliefs that are holding us back. The day may also feel a bit melancholy with the moon's added energy entering Pisces. We may feel like we could be drowning in our darkness and the shadows of others around us. We may be more aware of others shadow selves and be influenced a little easier by their presence due to pisces's nature of dissolving boundaries. If others that are not aware of these qualities of themselves suddenly lash out today, it's best to carry some obsidian, put protective wards around yourself and keep to your safe corner.

----------------------- Week 26 - 1st

26th - ☾♓ Waxing Gibbous Moon | Sun Trine Moon

Whatever you have been reflecting on, strategizing and working on, now it's time to put those plans into action with the sun trining the moon! This aspect brings a lot of luck, harmony and magic in the mundane to spring out today. If you put plans into action, make the first move, release something new, then there is a lot of potential for great things to fall into place. If you may have been feeling blocked or frustrated on the first quarter moon, this phase may help you with new insight on how you can progress forward. If you did barrier-breaking magic to dissolve obstacles on the first quarter moon, you may see wonderful results or sudden 'open-doors' appear today. Keep on look out today for opportunities sent by the universe! Use lucky charms and glamours and send out good energy to attract it back to you.

27th - ☾♓

Today is an excellent day for rest with the moon in Pisces. There are no demanding transits and with this being the last day of the moon in this sign, there will be a void of course that will ask us to slow down and chill out. Pisces energy loves to day dream, nap and escape so it's a good day to indulge in some bath magic, take restful naps, smoke or watch something light hearted.

28th - ☾♈ Mercury retrograde enters Libra Venus enters Libra Moon enters Aries

Venus reunites with it's home sign Libra bringing the themes of harmony, partnerships, justice and values to a crescendo in this part of the cycle. Mercury rx will re-enter Libra bringing these themes to the surface of our mind as we reflect on these aspects of our lives. It's a good time for introspection in these areas, shadow work, understanding any current challenges regarding these themes for ourselves, especially as we move closer to the full moon that tends to bring out external challenges and themes with it's opposition. This day will tie back AGAIN with the initial full moon starting this month off and all of the other points and themes about our repressed energies and how we align with our values as the Moon enters Aries and creates an opposition with mercury rx in Libra. We will be able to connect dots on how our previous compromises or alignments could have repressed our true passions and energies and we may have to face sudden bursts of anger or hidden fire that we weren't aware of before, yet it could shed light on our current journey.

29th - ☾♈

When the Moon is in Aries it's a great time for channeling courage, hexing, fire-based magic and creating new things. However as this is the end of the moon's transit in Aries as it faces it's void of course which wants us to rest and reflect, it's a good time to reflect on our inner drive and our repressed emotions and how we can healthily release them. This void of course is a good time to reflect on the themes of the last full moon in Aries and how you have integrated what you've manifested into your life.

30th - ☾♉ Moon enters Taurus

With the moon in Taurus it's a great time to take things slowly and relax. It's a great time for kitchen magic, earth and plant-based magic and self-care magic.

31st - ☾♉ 🎃 HALLOWEEN 🎃 Full Moon in Taurus Sun in Scorpio opposite Uranus rx in Taurus

It's HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!! And to top it off it's a powerful Blue Moon! (A Blue Moon is a Full Moon that occurs twice in a month!) A Blue Moon is powerful showing second chances, boosted luck and new windows of opportunity so this is a fantastic time for release, casting spells, banishing or any type of magic! In this post here where I compare the sabbats to the lunar cycle, Halloween reflects that balsamic moon period where it's time to shed, banish and release, so tonight we can banish what no longer serves us and bind what seeks to strip us of our power. We may feel very inspired after this whole month of self transformation and looking at our repressed energies and what is binding us in it's brutal authority. It's time to break those barriers apart! With the Taurus full moon we are asked to look at our resources and what we value physically and if that aligns with our soul. What materialistic things or paths were we clinging on to? Do they reflect our most authentic selves? This will be brought into question and be brought to change with the Sun opposite Uranus rx (also this full moon conjunct Uranus rx) forcing us to undergo transformation which can help break old habits, old mindsets, expand our perspectives and evolve. A bit like a death and rebirth which is in theme for Halloween. With this opposition, this can bring unexpected and exciting encounters or events that will shake up our worlds. We may have to suddenly adapt to change as a new chapter and reality get brought into our lives. It could either bring havoc or freedom, however if it's something that could trigger a negative response in you, you may have to consult that shadow side and see if there is a trait you may need to let go or that is holding you back from evolving. However just to protect yourself it's always good to carry some protective charms and wards especially on a day like Halloween.

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#october #celestial #astrology #transits #full moon #halloween #witchcraft #magic #celestial witch #space witch

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fandom-necromancer · 4 years ago

Text

Obscured by Shadows

Now to the last Halloween short! This was prompted by the wonderful @spacalicious and let me tell you you gave me so much I could have written a full on 60k story about it. I didn’t have as much fun writing a story in a long time. That said, this got long, i’ts a bit over 5k and I’m sorry to those who haven’t got something as long, I hope that’s okay. So enjoy this one!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 | AU: Eldritch being?

Nines had always been determined to figure things out for himself. Maybe it was something he valued because he had never been given a real base programming. He knew his model would eventually be used for the military. But Cyberlife hadn’t been able to do more than basic hardware tests on him before the revolution changed the world. He had been informed his prior series had been finished and given a purpose: The RK200 was a caretaker and the RK800 was working for the police. With nothing much to go off of, RK900 had chosen to keep these purposes in mind while finding his own.

He had applied at the police academy immediately after making this decision. He didn’t want to just download a program from someone. He wanted to build his own unique one. And during his time at the academy, he quickly found he liked the challenge of uncovering mysteries. He enjoyed gathering evidence, puzzling together what had happened based on it and uncovering the truth in between sowed lies. It only took him a few years to make it detective and was proud to be accepted at the fifth precinct of the Detroit police department. The Captain had assigned him to Lieutenant Anderson, the officer that had been there the longest, and Connor, the RK800. He was supposed to learn the ropes from them, and Connor was more than glad to show him around.

His predecessor had decided getting to know his co-workers was the best course of action and one after the next pointed out the different persons to him. ‘Okay, as you came in you must have seen the receptionists. The android is a ST300, she calls herself Steph, and the human one is Elisabeth, but everyone calls her Elly. Then we’ve got Officer Collins over there, this is Hank’s desk and mine and there is Officer Willson’s. On the other side we have Officer Person, Officer Chen and Officer Miller. And you already met the Captain. We are a small group, but that’s because SWAT is right there, if you head out this side. Another RK800 is working there, but I’m not on best terms with him. We tend to evade each other. Doesn’t mean you have to though. I can show you around there tomorrow, for now I’ll show you the cells, interrogation room and the meeting room. Then we can-‘ ‘Excuse me?’ Nines felt bad for interrupting, but his eye had fallen on… on what again? ‘Yes? Sorry, I tend to monologue. How can I help you?’ Connor politely smiled at him, while Nines thought about what he had meant to ask about. Connor had showed him all his co-workers and had went on with- right. He looked around again and kept his eyes on the person Connor missed. ‘Who is he?’, he asked, pointing Connor at the man. ‘Hm? Oh. Oh, that’s just Gavin’, the other android waved him off. ‘Detective Reed I believe. He’s an asshole. I met him briefly before the revolution. That was enough to get a clear picture of him. File him under unimportant and go on with it. It’s not really worth knowing the guy, trust me.’ ‘But I introduced myself to everyone personally after the initial briefing’, Nines argued. ‘I believe I must have forgotten him. I at least want to do that.’ Connor shrugged. ‘Fine, knock yourself out. I’ll wait here for you. I doubt you’ll be long.’

Nines made his way over to the man’s desk and read the plague first. Connor had been right: Detective Gavin Reed. ‘Hello! My name is Nines. I’m a RK900 unit and the new Detective. I’m looking forward to work with you!’ He held out his hand and every other person had accepted it and had some niceties left for him. The human in front of him just stared him up and down and grumbled. ‘Phck off.’ Nines recoiled. ‘Excuse me, I just wanted to be nice. I-‘ ‘And I don’t. Mind your own business and piss off!’ Nines knit his brows but remembered Connor’s words. Maybe this one time he could have relied on someone else’s knowledge.

He had returned to Connor that day and the other RK had shown him the rest of the precinct. After that the days seemed to rush past: Nines helped Hank and Connor with their cases and quickly afterwards he had his first very own case. The other two had helped him solve it, but it still was one he had led and found most of the clues to. After work he was driving from one place to the next looking for a small affordable flat, but so far, he stayed in the mostly unused stasis-booths at the precinct or simply continued working. In his breaks he had chatted with his co-workers and learned quite a lot about them. Collins had a sweet tooth, Wilson was almost religiously obsessed with football, Person was spending a large amount of his pay checks on his sister’s hospital fees but according to him she is getting better, Chen loved tea way too much and Miller could talk on for hours about his daughter and wife. Nines was quite content with his life and his choice to join the DPD. He liked the challenge actual cases brought to the table and was in general well-liked. So why was something constantly nagging at his systems, directing his attention to empty spaces on the opposite wall or just letting him stare into the nothing somewhere in the precinct? Maybe something was just wrong with his systems.

No, there wasn’t anything wrong with his systems. Nines had checked as he had entered stasis that night. But that would mean something in the precinct actually let his sensors misfire. And apparently, he was the only one to notice that strange phenomenon. The RK900 still doubted himself as he stepped down from the platform that morning. All his co-workers were competent and attentive people. They should have noticed it if something weird was going on in the bullpen. And there was still the minimal possibility of his diagnostic routines failing him. He would keep this to himself for now and keep his eyes open.

It took him almost a month to lose his patience. The errors and inconsistencies piled up and so far, almost all of them could be chalked up to the one person no one seemed to care about or even notice. Gavin Reed. The strangest thing was that Nines himself didn’t care much about the human. In fact, he only ended up focussing on the man as the number of things he didn’t know about him became suspicious. He had made a point of knowing as much as possible and appropriate about his co-workers. He had learned that helped a lot with work climate and integration. The occasional donut for Collins, a signed picture of a famous footballer for Wilson’s birthday, spending his break with Tina once to check out a local tea shop: That all was something that had made him likeable and made working a pleasant experience. But with how much he knew of them, how little he knew of Gavin was worrying.

Sure, the man was an asshole. But even assholes had personalities. There had to be at least rumours about him. But whenever he had asked someone, he had been given the same answers: ‘Reed? Yeah, he worked here for some time.’ ‘He’s an asshole, it seems to be worse with androids.’ ‘Pfft… Nah, he keeps to himself, don’t know anything about him.’ So he wasn’t alone with not knowing, he just was alone with worrying about that fact.

One quiet day, he decided to do some personal research into that mystery. Every human was known to the world in some way or another. Date of birth. Date of graduation. Date of Employment. Criminal record. Won some small prize in the lottery. An Address. Anything. And that was when things got truly confusing. He looked over at the man and felt how his eyes suddenly darted away to movement that he had thought to see at the edge of his vision. He never managed to look at the human for longer than a few minutes. Something was seriously wrong.

‘Connor? Can I speak with you for a moment? In private?’ Connor looked up from his work, then to the clock. He shrugged. ‘Sure. I can take my break early. What can I help you with?’ They left the precinct through the back entrance to have some privacy and Nines began with a sigh. ‘It’s about Gavin.’ ‘Did he do anything to you? Did he harm you?’ ‘No!’, Nines quickly said. ‘No, he didn’t do anything. But he is weird. I… I did some research and…’ ‘Wait. You “did some research”? What are you talking about?’ Nines held his hands up to calm him. ‘Connor, please listen to me, it will all make sense in a minute. How much do you know about Reed?’ ‘Nothing much, he’s an asshole. Otherwise he keeps to himself. Worked here for a long time.’ ‘How long?’ ‘How should I know?’ ‘How long did Person work here?’ ‘For twelve years, exactly a month from now.’ Nines stared at him triumphantly.

‘Hey, I haven’t looked into his file, okay? Never even talked to him. That doesn’t mean anything.’ ‘Well, I looked into it’, Nines picked up where Connor left off. ‘He doesn’t even work here. Officially. There is no file in the systems for his person, his name is only listed as being employed by the city. There is a birth year at least, but no school. No educational record, no graduation paper. Nothing. There is an address, but the place had been towed down ages ago.’ ‘Maybe he forgot to update it. Or Fowler knows and hadn’t updated his new address yet.’ ‘And the missing documents?’, Nines tried to convince him. ‘What about those?’ ‘Humans can be sloppy sometimes. Especially with bureaucracy.’ ‘May I remind you the entire HR department is run by androids by now?’, Nines threw his final punch. ‘It’s quite funny when you think about it.’ Connor held his head as if he had forgotten he couldn’t get headaches. ‘Nines, you are paranoid. The guy really isn’t that important.’

But Nines didn’t let himself be shut down. ‘There is more actually. Chris complained about the coffee being empty, right? That was yesterday, a Thursday. Correct?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘And I personally restocked Monday the week before! Tina drinks tea, Chris can’t drink too much or his stomach acts up. With the regular caffeine intake of the rest of them, it shouldn’t be depleted yet.’ ‘So?’ ‘Someone drinks an unhealthy amount of coffee, I would even dare say it would kill a human or at least leave them with serious health issues. And only Gavin is left if you keep an eye out.’ Connor sighed: ‘Or someone dropped the package, spilled half of it and cleaned up the mess into the bin.’ ‘Okay, then how do you explain this: Reed is always here when someone arrives. No matter how early I rise from stasis, he is already there. As if he never left. And then sometimes he spends entire days away and no one bothers!’ ‘Vacations and overtime are a thing.’ Nines shook his head. ‘There is no car standing in the parking lot that belongs to him, I looked after everyone was gone. Yet, there is a key to a car on his desk.’ ‘Maybe he parks somewhere else, because he likes to go on a walk after a long day of sitting around.’ ‘Connor!’ ‘No, Nines, you are paranoid. That’s all. You should slow down maybe. Or take some days off. The man is just your regular asshole who is decent enough to be professional and do his job. And that’s all.’

Nines was desperate. He had thought that at least if pointed to it, the other RK would notice. ‘Then what about the fact that I have never seen him eat something once? And he keeps framed pictures of his cats, but he has no cat hairs on himself!’ ‘Nines, please, you need to calm down. If I didn’t know it any better, I’d say you are stalking him. Please stop. Believe me when I say Reed is as unimportant as someone could be. You are certain of the way things seem to be and now you search for evidence to prove your point. But we are detectives. We find evidence and conclude.’ He took a deep breath. ‘I worry for you. Please, take a break from work. How is your house-hunting?’ ‘Haven’t found a flat yet.’ ‘Do you want to live with Hank and me? We could make room for you for a few days. You need to get out of here.’ Nines deflated as he saw he couldn’t win. ‘That’s nice of you, Connor. But I guess I’ll just think about what you said and try to get back to work.’

In truth Nines didn’t think about anything Connor had told him. If anything, his words had only made it clearer to him that something is wrong. He had to take matters into his own hands.

Gavin startled as a coffee cup was put on his desk with an audible thump. He looked up. ‘Hello, I’m Nines. I already introduced myself but we never really talked.’ Gavin stared at the nosey android and frowned. ‘And I already told you to phck off. Nothing has changed since then.’ ‘No need to be so aggressive, Detective. I always see you working. I believe I never actually saw you taking a break.’ ‘Well, I like work and I’d like to get back to it, tin-can.’ ‘Tin-can? Oh, that’s a new one’, the android answered and smiled at him. Goddamnit. ‘Listen, I don’t know what you are on about, but I don’t want to talk. I’ll say it one last time: Phck off!’ This… Nines… pouted at him. ‘Come on, I got you a coffee, the least you could do is answer me one question!’ Gavin sighed and leaned back. ‘Fine. One question. And then you’ll go!’ He hoped his form didn’t show how nervous he was.

‘What do you like?’ Compared to everything he had expected that was quite harmless and caught him off-guard. ‘What?’ The android continued to grin at him. ‘What do you like? Food, hobbies, doesn’t matter.’ ‘Oh, okay, err… I like cats. And… Coffee.’ ‘Are those yours?’, the android asked pointing at the framed pictures. ‘Hey, you said one question, then you’d be leaving me alone!’ The android lifted his hands. ‘Alright, fine. I’m leaving. Was nice talking to you!’

Gavin couldn’t help looking after the machine that was leaving now. Damn nosy androids would be his downfall someday. He turned back to his work, the smell of coffee distracting him. He glanced over to it and finally succumbed to taking and drinking it. He wasn’t ashamed by the fact that he was addicted to it ever since he first tried it in the 15th century. It was one of the pleasant experiences of his existence. He had lived on this world for eons now, maybe he had been around right from the start. But you could only spend so many billion years until you got bored and wanted to try something new. He had lived among humans ever since a massive migration to a continent a large part of the world never even knew about. It was easy to fit in when no one asked where you came from and everyone was eager to start a new life. And Gavin fit in nicely. He sowed enough information to saturate most and those who wanted more he used his powers on to become totally ordinary. So ordinary that most didn’t even notice him. He was living a peaceful life, working on farms, later with railroads and the industry. He liked the concept of lifetimes to justify changing from one job to another and discovering new interesting ways to fake being human. This lifetime he had decided to spend just relaxing. He played the average human that made it Detective and since then worked away solving mysteries and cuddling with cats when coming home.

He couldn’t have known this would be the time humanity decided to change once again. They decided to design machines, androids. They looked human but were designed to obey. Why exactly was it that humanity wished for some kind of slavery every few hundred years? He didn’t care for it too much as they were just machines. Sure, his powers didn’t work on them like they did with humans, but as he was seen as one of them, he could just order the androids to go away and leave him alone. And then deviancy happened. Humans had tried perfecting them so much, they accidentally created life. Gavin knowing humans had decided to wait it out. Too easy he could fake his death and return to his normal existence. But he had been living within them in peace successfully so far. He really didn’t want to change that. So, he waited. Waited until the revolution happened. And too his distress, the androids won.

Ever since he had tried to move on the streets as little as necessary. He spent almost all of his days in the precinct where he was safe from them minus Connor. And the bot he could easily get rid of by changing his attitude to grumpy and abrasive. He thought it might work out. But this new android was a pain in the ass. Nosey as hell and apparently determined to get to know him. Well, someday his luck had to run out and it seemed the time had come.

He spent his remaining day at his terminal, until he felt eyes on him again. He tried to subtly look up and met the damned android’s cheeky grin as he entered the stasis booth. The machine even gave him a little wave. Gavin felt his powers bristling underneath his skin, warning him he had been spotted, but with grit teeth he forced them down. Phck, he needed to relax. He switched off his terminal and headed outside. He hurried through the streets until he finally found an empty back alley without CCTV. It really had been easier in the olden times. Quietly he let go of the charade and got rid of his fake skin. Finally, he could stretch and brush against corners, making natural shadows more refined and let them stretch to take him. Oh, he had missed that feeling. Excitement bubbled inside him as he scaled the city, slithering from one shadow to the next through the narrow spaces in brickwork and underground where there was no connecting darkness to act as a convenient passageway. More than once androids looked towards him, but he just hurried away before they could investigate. Damn machines.

He finally made it home, faster than any car or train could and let himself inside through the letter box. Only then he reformed his human appearance and got to his knees, greeting his cats with maybe one or two arms too many. Not that they would care, they just wanted their pets. Gavin sighed, the fluffy fur under his hands just the perfect way to destress from a long day. He fed them and switched on his stereo to blast music as loud as the cats would allow. He had more than enough time to settle everything with the nosey android. He would be fine.

‘You forgot your keys yesterday!’, he was greeted as he walked into the bullpen. He could only frown at the android standing beside his desk, dangling them from one finger. Gavin saw red and pulled them from the man, maybe having moved a little too fast for a human. ‘Give them back!’ He looked down on them and carefully put them down in their usual spot. ‘How did you come home then? You couldn’t drive with your car.’ ‘I don’t have one, phck off!’, Gavin shouted. ‘Then why do you have keys?’

Phck. He felt his powers acting up, but it only managed to avert the human gazes from the disturbance. The android didn’t bulge. Shit. A human explanation, quick. Oh, right, parents were a thing! ‘They are my dad’s, he… He died in a car crash. They are the only thing I’ve got left of him.’ It technically wasn’t even a lie. Nowadays he often faked his death so he could inherit his own belongings and one of them had indeed been a car crash. ‘Oh. I’m sorry.’ The android really looked like he meant it. ‘I didn’t mean to pry.’ ‘Well then go and-‘ ‘Can I make it up to you?’ Oh phck no… ‘There is a cat café that just recently opened up. I thought-‘ ‘What is a cat café?’, Gavin asked, momentarily forgetting he wanted the android gone. ‘Oh, it’s a regular café, but cats are roaming around. I thought you’d like it.’ ‘I… That does sound interesting.’ ‘It’s a deal then! I’m looking forward to it!’ ‘No, I-‘ But the android had already left. Gavin let his shoulders fall. It wouldn’t hurt playing human for a break, right? He had done so before. Sure, it broke his rule of never mingling too close with humanity, but it couldn’t really go wrong, right?’

It was awkward at first. They had entered and sat down on two comfy chairs and didn’t manage to speak a word until the waiter came. They ordered their drinks and it returned to the uncomfortable silence. Until one of the cats decided to jump onto Gavin’s lap. The android had laughed at his surprised face and Gavin had begun to pet her. ‘You are good with cats’, he commented. ‘Yeah, I love them’, Gavin answered. ‘Just… calms you down I guess.’ ‘I never got to pet one.’ ‘Really?’ Gavin could understand that human lives were short and that not everyone had the pleasure of strolling along the streets of early civilisations and pet every fluffy beast in existence, but it did surprise him. ‘You really have to!’

The android looked around and tried to get the attention of one of the cats wandering about. The look of pure wonder on the android’s face as the cat headbutted his hand for the first time touched something in Gavin and he chuckled. The android looked back up while still petting the cat and smiled back. Only as the cat decided they had enough did the android return to the table. ‘I really wonder why everyone was so sure about you being an asshole’, Nines began talking. ‘I mean, I don’t really know you yet, but you are nice company.’ ‘I tend to keep to myself’, Gavin muttered, looking down on the cat that still hadn’t moved and curled herself up on his legs. ‘Made some bad experiences I guess.’ ‘I think we should do this more often’, the android said. As much as Gavin wanted to, he couldn’t bring himself to truly disagree.

They met a few times afterwards. They often spent their breaks together in the café and with time Gavin thought that maybe he didn’t have to isolate himself all the time. But he always shut these thoughts down and thought of the android as an exception. One evening Nines had insisted to come over and see Gavin’s cats, what had brought Gavin into the zugzwang to explain some of the by now ancient things he had collected over the years. ‘I’m interested in history’, he bluffed. ‘Archaeology is a pet peeve of mine. So I tend to collect.’ Surprisingly, the android had bought it and instead admired his “collection”. It had ended in multiple visits to museums and exhibitions. Not that Gavin really minded. It was a fun distraction and his lie about being a history enthusiast wasn’t that far fetched when he could tell a few first-hand stories from when he had been there himself.

It was about a month later that they had come back from one of these exhibition trips and the android had dropped him off at his apartment. The android had hugged him goodbye, something he would never get tired of, and was about to go. ‘Are you going back to the precinct?’, he blurted out out of nowhere. ‘Yes’, Nines had answered. ‘Detroit’s housing market is awful. Haven’t got a flat yet.’ ‘Do you want to… I mean you could stay here if you want to.’ The android had stared at him wide eyed and Gavin started to regret his impromptu decision until Nines threw him a smile and nodded politely. That evening Gavin ended up on the couch next to Nines watching TV until the android appeared to have entered stasis. In the silence that followed, he began to think about his life choices. What was he doing? He was an eldritch shadow being from the dawn of time. Nines was an android he had no power over. And something was clearly growing between them. It was evident in the way Nines had snuggled up next to him, the cats all over them. This couldn’t work. What if Nines found out? What if he would rat him out to anyone? Humans he could fool, but androids would be able to follow him to the end of the world. He had made a huge mistake.

And still: listening to the hum of the android’s thirium pump he couldn’t find to regret it. Quite the opposite was the case.

The next morning was filled with more excuses. Why didn’t he have a kitchen? Why didn’t he have any food at home? Gavin had mumbled something about always getting something at the food trucks and stressed they would be late. Apparently, Nines took that information with only a sigh, too. One Catastrophe evaded.

Off to face the next one: As they entered the precinct together, Gavin froze as he found his desk occupied. By Connor. And the other android was staring at them with determination. ‘You two. Interrogation room. Now.’ Gavin was about to protest, so did Nines, but the other RK stopped them: ‘I said now!’ So, they trotted over, and Gavin knew he had phcked up. He had set up these rules for a reason. How could he think he could start a relationship with an android would somehow work out?

‘Nines, I believe you now.’ Nines frowned in return as they entered and exchanged a look with Gavin. ‘What do you mean?’ ‘What you told me about him. It’s true! It’s like he isn’t even existing! And everything you told me was true! There are so many discrepancies with him that something has to be wrong.’ Gavin felt panic creeping in. What? What had these two androids talked about? What had he missed? ‘No, Connor, you were right’, Nines disagreed. ‘There is a logical explanation for everything. I was just paranoid, as you said. I just knew nothing about him because I never even spoke with him.’ ‘Oh and now suddenly everything is perfect? What are these explanations then?’ Nines sighed. ‘What do you want to hear from me?’ ‘The keys?’ ‘Memorabilia of his deceased father.’ ‘The cat hairs?’ ‘Either I must have missed something or he had just washed his clothes. Scan Gavin now and you’ll see a bunch of cat hairs.’ ‘What the hell are you two talking about?’, Gavin asked. ‘You are hiding something!’, Connor growled his way. ‘And I won’t rest until I know what it is!’ Gavin took an instinctive step back. Oh no… ‘Connor’, Nines directed the other RK’s attention back to him. ‘I spent the last months with him. He really isn’t as bad as you think and he clearly isn’t hiding anything.’ ‘Oh, is that so? Have you seen his home then?’

Nines puffed out his chest. ‘I have, actually. In great detail.’ He challenged Connor by staring him in the eyes. ‘Wait what?’ That had caught Connor off-guard at least. ‘You two… You aren’t… No.’ ‘Yes’, Nines grinned. ‘And you should trust the android with the more advanced analysis tools that he is as normal as a human can be.’ Connor was left just standing there, staring. ‘I… I’m not convinced, just so you know. But I trust you. Just know that I’ll be keeping an eye on you!’ ‘That’s only fair’, Nines commented, but Connor was already storming out of the room.

For a while no one moved. ‘Should we go back to the-‘, Gavin started, but was interrupted: ‘No.’ Nines pushed himself off the table and leaned against it. ‘The cams are deactivated, and the observation room is empty. No one else can hear us. I’m sorry. I should have told you earlier.’ ‘What should you have told me earlier?’, Gavin asked carefully. ‘I had suspicions about you. That’s why I initially wanted to get to know you better. I pretended everything was alright so you could tell me once you were ready. But I guess now is a good a time as ever: What are you, Gavin? Who are you? The things you own are legitimately old. A collection like this would be priceless, you could sell it for millions. Most of it belongs in a museum. And you don’t even really exist on paper. I couldn’t find your name in any hospital archives from the day you were supposed to be born and you never went to a school. Please, I need to know.’

Gavin sighed deeply and sat down. Should he tell him? Well, he had to. But what then? He guessed a prison to hold him would have yet to be built. And he could always move to another city after faking yet another death. But he didn’t want to lose this. This lifetime was meant to be relaxing and hell, with Nines he had been the most relaxed he had been for centuries. Well, he had to hope for the best. ‘No one can see us?’ ‘No one.’ ‘And no one can hear us?’ ‘Everything said here will remain between us.’ ‘You have to promise not to tell anyone.’ ‘I will as long as my duty as a police officer doesn’t call for it.’

Gavin took a deep breath. So far so good. But promises could be empty and who knew what the duty of a police officer entailed these days. But he knew he was only buying time. And so he began: ‘I am a being that has been around since the dawn of time. I am made of shadows, some worshipped me as the shadows themselves. I don’t even know if that’s true. I’ve been around for a while until I finally decided to try living as a human for a while. And it worked! I was a peaceful part of society since… Well, I took a few breaks but more or less since the 600s? It is hard pretending to be a human if you are immortal, so I travelled a lot and faked papers as much as I could. I don’t eat, I don’t sleep, I like coffee and cats. The keys are from my first ever car, but I hate driving, so I got rid of it by crashing it one day.’ Nines stared at him dumbfounded. ‘I think I need proof, I can’t believe this.’ Gavin sighed and looked at the table. ‘Please, don’t freak out’, he warned, before transforming into his true form. Suddenly half the room was swallowed by darkness and Gavin showed off a bit by extending a few tendrils of shadow towards Nines. The android looked shocked at first, then bewildered and then fascinated. Nines even stepped closer. ‘You won’t hurt me, right?’ ‘I never hurt anyone’, Gavin answered, his voice coming somewhere from his centre that was still hovering over the chair. Nines extended an arm and tried to touch Gavin, who chuckled. His only feature was to consume light, he literally was the personification of the absence of light. What a dork, trying to touch that. For some reason that seemed to disappoint the android and Gavin made an effort reforming his body partially while still keeping his real self exposed.

‘And?’, Gavin asked. ‘What does this mean now?’ Nines was still staring at him. ‘You are beautiful.’ Gavin laughed, but took the android’s hand lovingly. ‘If you say so.’ ‘How did you keep this a secret for so long? Is that why you aren’t noticeable by most? I have so many questions, I-‘ ‘I would say, I explain everything to you at my home where we are safe’, Gavin offered. ‘I want to know what it means first. For us. Does it change anything?’

Nines smiled and came closer. ‘Only that I don’t have to worry about your human lifespan’, he smirked. ‘And that we can spend an eternity forever.’ Gavin sighed in relief and relaxed completely. ‘You don’t know how much that means to me.’ ‘I think I get the gist of it’, Nines shrugged and dove in for a kiss that left Gavin completely unprepared. But he had always been quick to adapt.

It took them a while to get out of that interrogation room, but thanks to Gavin’s powers no one but Connor noticed. Nines just threw him a cocky smile while making a point of sitting down on the free table opposite of Gavin’s.

Maybe Gavin Reed was a man made of shadows. It didn’t change the fact that Nines was completely engulfed in his gloom.

#detroit become human #dbh #Reed900 #RK900 #Gavin Reed #eldritch being!Gavin Reed #Gavin Reed is a shadow person #Holy shit I had fun with this #I had so much more I could have written but it is already far too long for this blog #wonderful idea #I'm a fan #sorry for taking this long #Also holy shit that last sentence of yours was so damn poetic I had to steal it!

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alvadee · 4 years ago

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love how a lot of left americans are already in the "uwu no one EXCEPT US is allowed to be worried in this election. europeans or wherever you're from shut the fuck up!!!1!!" phase. ok ma'am, you be mad that outsiders might worry your country is couped and slips into fascism, it's worse than being apathetic to it I guess. it's not like it influences the political climate globally and especially young people who use social media are constantly told to "CARE!!!!" about all your politics and social movements and be informed and hence have opinions on them. like, your country’s voting made nuclear war a real thing to be scared of again not that long ago and it's not like the right wing/nazi parties in our countries don't take notes and get encouragement that more political power isn't an unreachable dream and can happen in very few years. don't act as if the US is suddenly a small country somewhere with no fucking influence politically or culturally.

#I'm sorry but the clowning every time #alvadee's shit

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xiakha · 3 years ago

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FFXIVWrite2021 Prompt #4 - Baleful

The winter winds on the Coerthas slopes seemed to never cease blowing. Their presence was also inescapable. Even in the stone-insulated warmth of Camp Dragonhead's innermost chambers, Alphinaud could pick out the distant whistling whenever he stopped to listen, and no matter how robust and crackling the fire in front of him was, no matter how many layers or blankets he was wrapped with at the time, the sound gave him an involuntary shiver.

Perhaps it was his fault for wearing an outfit filled with holes instead of something warmer on his first outing to Camp Dragonhead, and that chill that stole into his bones never left him since. Or maybe it was more psychological, knowing that, if he were to venture out of the relative safety of these walls, his own men were wont to descend upon him to take his head from his shoulders. For he was no Warrior of Light, he was but a would be princeling who decided he understood how the entire world worked before ever leaving his home to see it. It would be more useful for his political enemies to make him disappear forever, another scratched out footnote in the chronicles of the changing eras.

In his darkest hours, he wondered if his father was right.

As the winter deepened, he had begun to spend fewer of his waking hours brooding and more of them reading from the archives in Haurchefant's study. The commander of Camp Dragonhead held most of his meetings at his main desk in the foyer of the manor, only rarely retreating into the study to search the archive or to study some contract or other without interruption. So all other hours were yielded to Alphinaud's leisure. It was only here that he really began to understand the complexities of commanding.

It was mostly logistics. Having the right people in the right places at the right times, agreeing to have supplies delivered in a timely manner, predicting and accounting for shortages and casualties and finding the leeway to manage all of it, the plates required were many and all of them had to remain spinning. It was sobering to think that, with the climate of Ishgard so irreparably changed in the last five years, how much the city teetered constantly on the brink of failure as nearly all of the food production had to be relocated to the Sea of Clouds overnight. That first year after the Umbral Calamity was the first time in about a thousand years that something besides dragonfire risked bringing the city to ruin. Ice and Snow and Hunger were the names of the demons that year. And seeing that Haurchefant took control of Camp Dragonhead in the midst of this chaos and improved nearly everything across the board gave Alphinaud a newfound respect for the flamboyant knight.

As such, the young Elezen decided to do more than read through musty worksheets and tabulations. The Warrior of Light, when not fighting alongside the House Fortemps knights as a dragoon, pitched in where her strength was needed around the fortress. Tataru had picked up weaving and armor repair and cooking as a part of her duties. It was high time, Alphinaud thought, that he should join in.

* * *

Tataru stopped hammering away at the chainmail she was repairing and asked Alphinaud to repeat himself.

"Er, have you seen Ser Haurchefant around, Tataru?" The difference in height between the Lalafell and the Elezen seemed to accentuate Alphinaud's lost child nature, especially in this locale.

Tataru wiped her soot covered forehead with a soot covered begloved hand, "Oh, I believe he went down to the barn."

Alphinaud considered his options. He didn't want to start with working with animals. There were too many factors to account for. He also did not wish to shovel manure.

"Ah, very well. And Xiao? Where is she?" The Warrior of Light was assuredly also busy at work somewhere.

"Haven't seen her all day, but I heard she went down to the barn as well."

The supposed-not-princeling grimaced and wished that he had gotten to know the smallfolk better instead of spending his first moon at Camp Dragonhead sulking and reading archival invoices and worksheets. He hardly knew anyone else, at least who wasn't a soldier, by name. Oh he was grateful and gave generous thanks whenever he received anything or was taken care of, but everyone seemed to know his name and he was rarely given a chance to naturally learn anyone else's. To offer to help someone and having to ask for their name in the process felt like a betrayal of the principle he was looking to now follow through on.

So he was headed to the barn. As he labored alongside the Commander and the Warrior of Light, he vowed, he would learn a few names of the farmhands and shepherds.

As Alphinaud left, Tataru resumed hammering, then stopped. There was something she was forgetting. Wasn't today the day that the shepherds were to take some of the flock to slaughter? There shouldn't be work to do at the barn that would require the heavy lifting of both Haurchefant and Xiao.

She shrugged and continued hammering at the rivets in front of her.

* * *

Alphinaud opened the door of the barn with some difficulty. It was quite large and bulky and he found himself wishing he would get his growth spurt early. The warmth of the barn was nearly cozy in comparison to the bitter chill.

As he announced his presence, the sound of physical exertion halted. There was a bit of rustling and whispering, and Haurchefant's voice rang out from the far corner stall, "But a moment, Alphinaud!"

The Commander of Camp Dragonhead hurried over, bare chested and adjusting his pants. The sweat that coated him and his shortness of breath surely spoke of the intensity with which he labored. Alphinaud rolled up his sleeves in anticipation.

"Right, with whatever you're working on right now, I intend to lend a hand!"

A sheep bleated.

"Pardon?"

"I've spent far too long cooped up in that study. I wish to do my part around the fortress as Tataru and Xiao do. So please, let me join in! I don't mind if it's dirty or if I get sweaty."

Haurchefant crooked an arm at his waist and looked away with the expression of suppressing painful laughter.

"I appreciate it, dear Alphinaud, but I do not think this is your place."

Xiao waddled over, an oversized shirt hastily thrown over her body. Sweaty as well, but with more measured breathing, she tried her very best not to look directly at Alphinaud lest she shoot death glares at him.

"Ser Haurchefant, I insist. I mind it not if it's hard labor that leaves me sore in the morrow, I am as ablebodied as the next man!"

Haurchefant looked over at Xiao, mischeviously, "Well, my sweet, what do you think?"

Xiao shot Haurchefant a full death glare, to which Haurchefant threw back his head with roaring laughter.

When he had finished, he said, "I assure you, Alphinaud, we do not need your assistance in this, er, endeavor."

Alphinaud tilted his head, questioningly. There was clearly something here that he was missing, "Are you sure? Anything that would cause such exertion from the two of you would surely be lightened with another pair of hands, would it not?"

Xiao spoke up, "Please, Alphinaud, you're not--" The Warrior of Light was still in the process of learning the rolling tongue of Eorzean, having relied on the Echo for translation for so long, and thus hardly had the words.

"Indeed, there are certain works best done with two souls, well, at least in a stall so small." This earned Haurchefant a slap in the forearm from the Warrior of Light. "Why not help out in another way while we finish up?"

Alphinaud looked downcast, this wasn't turning out how he pictured it at all. He had imagined working alongside the rippling muscles of both Haurchefant and the Warrior of Light hauling crates or pitching hay. Or shoveling manure. It wasn't out of the question for him. Really.

But he would make the most of it, "Very well, how else can I help?"

Haurchefant snapped his fingers, "The shepherds will be refilling the fodder upon their return, why not make light their work and grab bales of hay enough to fill a stall?"

Now this was the heavy labor Alphinaud had pictured! He punched his hand like he had seen Xiao do many times before, "Excellent! I will begin forthwith!"

"There ought to be bales of hay in the shed across the grounds." Haurchefant pointed out the open barn door. "Worry not if the task seems grand, once our current task is completed, we will come to join you."

The young Elezen princeling, so worldly and knowing, rushed off with a determination he had not felt in a moon. The "labor" he was not to join in on pushed fully out of his mind with the thought of hay bales.

* * *

Haurchefant grabbed Xiao by the waist and swept her up for a kiss on the forehead. She reciprocated by latching on to him as she did before their interruption and kissing him on the side of the neck.

"I believe I've bought ourselves at least half a bell." Indeed, full grown men had trouble lifting a single bale, let alone carry one without help across the courtyard. "Shall we continue with our 'labor'?"

Xiao rested her head on Haurchefant's shoulder, taking in the feeling of his chest through the coarse fabric of the shirt, his shirt, that she had tossed on for modesty.

"The mood's gone, cold," she whispered in his ear, haltingly, "Warm me up again?"

Haurchefant walked over to the barn door with Xiao clinging on to him like some oddly indecent lizard on a tree and shut it.

#ffxiv #FFxivWrite2021 #FFxivWrite #story #wordvomit #implications #in which I put Alphinaud's naivety on full blast #warrior of awkward #haurchelust #dunking on alphinaud

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talesofthefrontier · 3 years ago

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INTERVIEW: Jamie Ryder Might Be Dead By Dusk

Getting your work out there isn't always easy as a writer, so it's always useful to be part of communities that can help to give signal boosts.

The horror community is extremely welcoming and it was through this connection I was interviewed by Ginger Nuts Of Horror, a UK-based horror website that promotes authors in the genre.

In this interview I discuss horror influences, writing AT THE DEAD OF DUSK and philosophy. You can also check out the interview here.

Could you tell the readers a little bit about yourself? I’m a fiction writer based in Manchester in the UK and grew up reading from a young age, which laid the groundwork for wanting to become a writer in as many different avenues as possible. When not writing horror and fantasy fiction, I enjoy indulging my inner pop culture geek with comics and other interests, which include Japanese culture, Stoicism and rum. I’ve mashed all these interests together in a portfolio of websites, which include The Comic Vault, Yamato Magazine and The Rum Ration. Which one of your characters would you least like to meet in real life? Good question. I’m going to say it’d be Agnus Cartwright, a powerful witch from The Tales Of The Frontier series. She’s terrifying and her ruthlessness would make me think twice about crossing her! Other than the horror genre, what else has been a major influence on your writing? The fantasy genre has had a big influence on my writing style and reading habits, particularly authors such as Sebastien De Castell, Andrzej Sapokowski and Neil Gaiman. I’ve always been in awe of writers who have the ability to create a completely new world from nothing and make you believe in the mechanics, concepts and characters within the world. Comics are another major influence, in the sense that having larger than life characters can be grounded in a realistic setting such as the DC Universe and that there are shades of grey when it comes to anti-heroes like Red Hood, Punisher etc. A recent concept that’s also resonated with my writing style is the philosophy of Stoicism and how it can be applied to the practice of writing. It’s about understanding the things you can control e.g. how much you want to write per day, and the things you can’t e.g. how people are going to react to your work. The term horror, especially when applied to fiction always carries such heavy connotations. What’s your feeling on the term “horror” and what do you think we can do to break past these assumptions? For me, the greatest kind of horror is found in human action. The lengths someone will go to for carrying out a goal. The justifications we tell ourselves when we think we’re doing something ‘good’ that can be seen as ‘bad’ from someone else’s perspective. Everyone has the capacity to be a monster and it brings to mind that famous Nietzsche quote of “beware that when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster.” It’s in these kinds of everyday, human drama kind of stories that I think there’s still plenty of room to break past what it seen as traditional horror. A lot of good horror movements have arisen as a direct result of the socio/political climate, considering the current state of the world where do you see horror going in the next few years? I think there will be an increase of horror being seen through the lens of more diverse groups such as the LGBT and BAME communities. There’s limitless potential in redefining tropes within these two categories and showcasing stories that are special, spooky and resonant. Given the dark, violent and at times grotesque nature of the horror genre why do you think so many people enjoy reading it? Coming from my own perspective, I enjoy watching and reading horror stories out of a subconscious desire for facing the unknown. The fear of the unknown is actually my biggest fear and if you think about anything outside of your comfort zone too much it can paralyse you worse than any monster, ghost or serial killer. I think that being exposed to horror has the potential to build up your resilience to real-life scenarios. What new and upcoming authors do you think we should take notice off? A couple of authors come to mind. V Castro has been doing some amazing work with redefining Latin horror through stories like Queen Of The Cicadas and Goddess Of Filth. There’s also Eric LaRocca and Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke is a tremendous piece of transgressive horror. While Donald Robertson isn’t a new author, he’s new to the horror and comic genres and I’m looking

forward to seeing the release of the graphic novel Verissimus, which tells the life of the Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius. What aspects of writing to do you find the most difficult? The editing process is the most difficult by far. There’s the old writer cliché of having to kill your darlings and it’s true that they do feel like your darlings sometimes! But once you move past that initial feeling, you do come away with a much stronger manuscript. Is there one subject you would never write about as an author? I’ve always said to myself that I’ll never write about any subject that I can’t capture realistically on the page, make it believable or do it justice. It’s only after I’m well-informed enough to know what I’m talking about that I’d even attempt to start writing something. Writing, is not a static process, how have you developed as a writer over the years? By constantly writing. That’s the most effective way I’ve continued to develop. Short stories. Articles. Blogs. Poems. Scripts. Exposing myself to different mediums has forced me to think about writing differently and become more fluid in how I approach things. What is the best piece of advice you ever received with regards to your writing? Don’t worry about whether the first draft is good or bad. Just finish it and then start editing. Which of your characters is your favourite? My favourite character is Clay McNab, the protagonist of At The Dead Of Dusk. He’s an asshole who doesn’t pretend to be anything but what he is and there’s a refreshing amount of honesty when inhabiting the headspace of a character like that. Yet there’s a lot more beneath the surface and it’s so much fun to write an anti-heroic character who’s self-aware enough to see his own flaws and try to do what he thinks to be right from his own perspective. Which of your books best represents you? At The Dead Of Dusk is my first standalone novella, so I’d say that represents me the best (So far!) Do you have a favorite line or passage from your work, and would you like to share it with us? There’s quite a few lines from At The Dead Of Dusk that I loved writing. While I’m not going to give away any spoilers, I will say there’s a scene with Clay delivering a monologue kind of speech in a highly charged emotional situation that got me right in the feels when I was writing it. Can you tell us about your last book, and can you tell us about what you are working on next? The next story I’m working on is a cyberpunk novel set in a futuristic version of my home city of Manchester. It’s about two brothers who come together to try and unlock the riddles of their father’s death and has a mixture of noir, crime, and sci-fi themes. If you could erase one horror cliché what would be your choice? That jump scares are the only way to tell a good horror movie. What was the last great book you read, and what was the last book that disappointed you? The last great book that resonated with me was How To Think Like A Roman Emperor by Donald Robertson. In terms of disappointing books, nothing comes to mind as I think there’s something good to be taken away from whatever you read if you’re in the mindset to look for it.

#horror #writing #tales of the frontier #weird western #philosophy #novellas #books #fantasy

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